Wednesday, December 30, 2015

28/12/15 Lake View Stand-In Hare Her Vag

Visitors from Cooktown Hash paid us the highest possible compliment. "Worst Hash run ever", And they have been to plenty of hashes.
Was it that the runners got back early and had bought their own - not inexpensive, beers before the down downs? Was it that we had to try three eateries before we could find one to feed us before midnight? Was it that we only have one drinking song? Was it the unfunny joke that they read out? Or was it that the GM has so much trouble remembering the names Nostrildumass and Extractit? Who knows.
Other welcomes to Cleavage and Daryl and Jason2 and Bubba, who mentioned something about "Nightshift".
Num Num and Bentnose were held to account for BHS bullying of interns. Shafted for getting lost on the run and going all the way around the lake.
Next week, a bit more normality at Rowdys with less banana benders.

Tuesday, December 22, 2015

21/12 Committee Christmas Run Stubby's Brewery

Good of Stubby to invest in a brewery on our behalf.  We were able to share Rowdy's Christmas Odes with the customers of various central establishments.
Light Fingers, Stubby, SOS and Beer Fuck were welcomed back.Those who have attempted brewing previously were charged.
 Many had Christmas regalia. Silic decided to come as a wrinkly Joffa.
The first stop was the Robin Hood where Rear Entry was pleased to see Vivienne- of the Sergeants previous alliance- present to listen to us all singing about his present one.
 Luke at the  Eastern Station is still recovering from having Missing Links tongue inserted in his ear.
The venue did allow us to share some of the less tasteful ditties. Spencer was reminded that some of his former neighbours had invaded his present affluent suburb to pinch Rats Arse's bike.
Spartacus and the original Boot hosted t- he next drinks where the Hash Hymn was sung in memory of Heavy - with actions by Shafted.
At Irish Murphy's a Pommy tourist thought we may have slipped a date rape drug into his charge. The GM, via Love Actually, provided the porn.
Only the hardier Hashers lasted to the Miner's Tavern.
Chicken and salads accompanied yet more drinks and carols with an anal theme.
Next week at the Lake View.No trail and food there if you like.

Wednesday, December 16, 2015

14/12/15 Spencer Hocking- Union Jack Lane.

A bush run from a new venue, a visit from a couple of Hash luminaries and a christening!
The run did indeed take us to Union Jack Reserve. We nearly saw more than we want of Shafted but Plucka declined his generous offer.Then at least one echidna and a corral for the tarts.
Drop Kick and Deep Heat were welcomed back. Deep and the choirmaster reprised the symbiosis of their  hairlines.
Dave is hereafter to be known as "The Missing Link", while D&D has commenced his second thousand runs.
Candida and Fascinator were inappropiately clad. The latter compounded the crime - along with his sidekick D&C, by advertising prowess at the ironman without competing. Rowdy  demonstrated the correct form by doing the reverse.
Bait had located an ill-fitting wetsuit with the zip at the front.
Pebbles had difficulty with technology so the GM had to ride his bike to hash.
Ham and salad rolls on a balmy night.
Next week at Stubbys new brewery next to The Freight Bar. Come Christmassy and thirsty.

Thursday, December 10, 2015

7/12/2015 Teflon's Bush Run Glen Park Rd.

Finding the venue seemed no problem for hordes of Royal Park footballers. We had a large pack for Dumb and Dumber's 1000th.
Teflon informed us that the first part of the trail was indistinguishable from the pre-existing terrain, but that it should deteriorate from the half way mark. Teflon called his own trail despite the constant refrain of "Are we half way there yet".
Dumb and Dumber, Num Num, Numb Bum and Henry, Son of Dumb were welcomed. As were Dave, True Dinks , KFC and Jamilla.
Pussbucket and Mountie the mistress of Big Events are leaving on a fact finding mission to Central America. I'm sure she will include the rest of us in her adventures when she feels we are good and ready.
The Choirmaster went to no unnecessary expense taking Marnie to Norfolk Island - as there was a voucher involved.
 Potential sunflowers were distributed on behalf of Horticultural Hash. Google the planting instructions.
Dumb and Dumber was the recipient of a toast in bubbly, valuable goblets, a Hash top he cannot lose
and a "This is Your Hash Life" toast, presented by Mrs D.
Boot, Donuts and Mountie recounted events past. Num Num has 200 precious memories of D&D at Springfest. Rowdy reprised a song.
Next week's run is from Union Jack Lane, on the left before Bunningyong.
Then the Christmas Run , Stubby's Bar Mair St
Then  28/12 from the Lake View. 

Tuesday, December 1, 2015

30/11/15 SOS'sBBQ

The new home of SOS, despire being named for a disgraced former Governor General, has obvious appeal. Next to a take-away and over the road from a pub. It also has a lap pool although in this case al lap literally means up and down.
Occupational Health was observed by Plucka with Down Downs in soft plasticware.
We saw the return of Little Evil, an unusually upright Dr. Death and Hymen who doesn't really resemble Silic.
Rowdy arrived in several different people's beachwear.
 Silic's similarity to an Australian fast bowler was restricted to his bandaged bunion.
Pusbucket identified another sales coup by Rear Entry, pointing out the oldest, smallest wide screen plasma HD TV yet seen.
D&D completed his 999th run and is confident of completing his millenial next week.
Teflon was charged with lack of precision in his description of next week's venue. We go to 5 Ways but not to Nuggety Dam. Turn left and travel along Glen Park Rd. On after is there as well. A good idea to brig chairs and a light if you have one as the On After is there.

Tuesday, November 24, 2015

23/11 Schoolies Run Stand-In Hare Pusbucket On On Eureka Pizza

Rowdy and Mrs D gave a nod to the theme of the night by frocking up. The nominated hare did not answer the roll - something about school of all things.
The run took in the lake/ cemeterary/Bunnings precincts.Squizzy and the GM strategically shortcut the whole run but somehow arrived at the drink stop last. Another of life's unsolved mysteries.
The drink stop morphed into the on after, with Rear Entry reprising his mission of depleting Road Runner's grog supply.
The consort of the Hare took the charge over her recent vehicular mishap. Spencer Hocking, as a past principal, was deemed responsible for one of his ilk demolishing a Maccas drive through with his rooftop bike.
Shafted's undryable socks again featured. Teflon was recognised for his 11th run.
Num Num's screwing was unusually convoluted, even for her.
The On After featured next week's hare, SOS. He shed little light on the intended location. Apparently we are to go to the North Britain and look for the Bill's car and work out the rest from there.

Thursday, November 19, 2015

16/11/15 Donuts State Forest & BBQ

A run that lived up to the high standards set by this Hare.
We were a bit concerned at the start when Dr Death seemed to be about to complete the run whilst ensconced in his picnic chair. Too many Hashers - the "rooted crew" are susceptible to this  approach so it was necessary to stamp out such sedentary behaviour.
The run, walk and drink stop lived up to expectation and we travelled back to Ross Creek Upper
 for classic rock DVDs, an excellent BBQ and a bonfire.
Silic was mentioned in the same breath as Ronda Rousey.
Pebbles produced his version of "Fanfare for the Common Man" to acknowledge Normal's addition to the 1000 club honor board. Normal drank with his fellow luminaries.
Pussbucket revived the " they blow up so quickly these days" one as it was topical.
Plucka's ascension to the majesty of GMship was recognised.
Spencer Hocking's journey to Kobe for their 2000th run with advertising of Nash Hash was aknowledged by himself.
Next run Candida's at the oval city oval.
There may be bumping,crashing, ramming pranging and pile ups. Prepare for a totally smashing event.
On after at the nearby pub.

Tuesday, November 10, 2015

9/11/15 Fluid Movement's Bush Run

An excellent bush run on the edge of town. notable also perhaps as one of our last GST free events.
Rowdy had taken on the Hash Trailer - probably for the forseeable future as he seems to take on temporary jobs that persist.
BP was encouraged to look for a more secure sanctuary for the Hash Cash as her address is now in an area that is prone to petty crimes like burgalry.
Lois was equipped with aussie regalia to encourage the full appreciation of sports triumphs at the expense of the kiwis. She had correctly pointed out a rabbit -proof fence of excessive height.
Half a Bar said that he hadn't noticed the earthquake at Elaine, whereas Bar Liquor did feel the earth move.
A great BBQ spread and fine weather.
Next Week at Donuts. Start at the State Forest. Sounds as specific as "somewhere in the bush."

Tuesday, November 3, 2015

2/11 Spartacus The Park.

Proving that Hash hold no grudges, Spartacus was allowed to set another run, This policy is now under review.
The run pack was lost after 100 metres. They cast about, finding improbable portions of trail, were misdirected to the drink stop before stumbling back to the pub in fading light. Beer Fuck did at least spy some walkers and made the inspired decision to join them. He alone of the run" pack" located the drink stop. Stand in Screw, Fop gave the Hare due recognition.
The walk was not without event, with Silic narrowly avoiding serious harm by breaking a fall with his face.
It is advisable when trravelling overseas to make sure your companion is not likely to abandon you at the first mishap. It is good to hear that Normal,Dumb and Dumber and Donuts still enjoyed their holidays despite leaving fellow travellers hospitalised.
Rear Entry and Pebbles were recognised as new age men, having spent Saturday afternoon with an otherwise female audience at "The Dressmaker". Rear Entry is looking forward to Fashions in the Field at the Cup.

Next week's run will be in the bush.

Thursday, October 29, 2015

26/10/15 Plucca's Halloween Run Bunninyong

We should not have been surprised at the mysterious events of this evening.
  1. Despite all the recent balmy weather, a cold chill greeted us at the Bunningyong Gardens
  2. The run markings had been obliterated by a downpour that showed on no radar.
  3. Then, at that witching hour just as the sun set (and the BBQ food was ready),  the garden sprinklers having obviously taking offence at Half a Bar's adjectives, inundated us.
Surely enough evidence of the occult at work. There was no sign of a human hand at work. At least a proportion of Hash is certain that no human factor could influence the weather.
Rowdy was welcomed back from Kakoda.
 The Bill was urged to use his influence to round up the Stocco fugitives.  The subsequent rash of arrests of the nation's miscreants are testament to his influence.
Alliterative charges included; Bloodcurdling Bent,Frightening Fluid,the Hobgoblin Half a Bar,Macabre Mrs. D, the Poltergeist Plucka, Repulsive Rear Entry and of course the Spectre Silic.

Next Week The Park Hotel, Alfredton

Tuesday, October 20, 2015

19/10/15 Mrs Dickhead's Lake Esmond Run

The spectacular backdrop of the reeds of Lake Esmond ablaze was the setting for this week's On After. The fire could be viewed as the local brigade reducing rampant undergrowth or as Bait pointed out, the destruction of Reed Warbler's nesting sites.
The run took us a long way to the east- even as far as Scentbark Lane - as noted by the Fill-In Screw.
Five of the runners did locate a sensible shortcut through someones backyard.
We welcomed back The Bill from his sabbatical, some Jason's and met Dr Death, who seemed to have seen better days.
Shafted approved of the venue as it was an old quarry.
The latest setback to the bikers in South America is Drambuie's capitulation to altitude sickness.
D&C was commended for watching while Pebbles run his sixth marathon this year.
Flo Jo and Jack were charged with mistaken identity.
 Spartacus was charged with being seen at a lot of pubs on the weekend.

Lois is looking for assistance on Sunday with organizing Nash Hash.
Next run is Buninyong Gardens with a Halloween theme.

Monday, October 12, 2015

12/10/15 5 Ways Stand - In Hare Pusbucket Drinks SS

The stand - ins, as usual at Hash, made the transition seamlessly. The pus colored run took us around the water races in the area. Fluid Movement channelled Mountie by throwing herself onto the dirt. Shafted applied the necessary first aid in between investigating the recent adornments to the landscape.
The Natalie show on Sunday was reviewed. SOS got to display his tallent for electrical engineering and Bent displayed superhuman strength in wrenching the lid from a water bottle.Fluid found her way home eventually.
Lois was reminded not to donate her handbag when helping the kids to shift. Nummy was warned that sending D&D with Drambuie amongst a drug cartel and Donuts, with his habit of dropping his bike, may have be a bit overconfident.
Half a Bar showed concern for the dog that bit Mrs D. Fortunately she can scull left handed.Plucka was commended for rising from her sick bed to administer drinks.
The pending Balls Up - on Oct 24th at Kew Golf club $75 was promoted. See Lois if you are interested in attending.
Next Week's run Mrs D's from Lake Esmond featuring whole foods.

Thursday, October 8, 2015

5/10/15 Rowdy's Daylight Savings Run Nuggety Dam

Stand -in Screw Jack noted the balmy weather, broad vistas,options for short cutters and the varied drinks at the stop. We even found something Prescious on the run. Runners and walkers, with the exception of Mrs D coincided a at the eskis.Rowdy may find his next run on the Kokoda Track a mite more challenging.

No fire due to a ban but that may have been for the best, based on past history at the venue.

Bait took the "How the mighty" have fallen charge as our adventurer of earlier days found himself stranded on a couch during the footy final. He did find a hoard of knives concealed among the outdoor furniture.
Beer Fuck was recognised for his paddling prowess. He also was inspired to present his ROY-G- BIV rainbow charge.
Returning Sergeant was at his pedantic best, noting spelling discrepancies among his charges.

Hash Drinks were available with the BBQ and all except Plucka were impressed  by Shafted's steak carving in the dark.

A task for next weeks run setter Glider as he uses similar terrain from 5 Ways. On after at The Eureka.

Wednesday, September 30, 2015

28/9/15 Miller's Arms Silics Brownlow Night

Our visitor from Peninsula, In Limbo, saw a variety of Football codes represented mainly by Fop. A now familiar starting point but the run avoided the East and we again collected participants as we went
BHD resumed his Choirmaster role when he found suitable footwear.Num Num resumed screwing duties much to the delight of the Hare.
Medical over-servicing being topical resulted in all with knee, gland and posterior work being charged. That was most of those present.
Warwick displayed the Big V while Fop left space for Dangerfield's new number.
Mountie presented her remodeled Liberal volunteer vest. They may not select the new design.
The new-look Glider told an airline/crabs story in fine detail.
The meal was a selection of fine pies from that German supplier.
 For those not biking across South America the next run will be Rowdy's Daylight Savings from Nuggety Dam.

Friday, September 25, 2015

21/9/15 Miner's Tavern Rear Entry

Another run from the venue that is becoming our new spiritual home. Despite the trail being marked every 5 metres, we lost Rowdy again but found Shafted. Mountie did indicate the location of the drink stop with some work samples. Fluid Movement screwed the run, much to D&D's disapointment as he had prepared a script.
We located Rowdy well to the right of his old carpool mates. The times have indeed changed.
We toasted the departure of a much loved Hash appendage who had been present for so many runs. Vale Glider's elbow extension. We miss you already.
Rear Entry was commended for bravery in making demands of Biggsy. Sometimes that can end in tears.
Scientists had discovered signs of early man in Africa. Perhaps it would have been easier for them to visit Hash. Spencer Hocking and the Missing Links bore the charge.
The Sergeant admonished the GM for not updating the horticultural tips and for duplicating all his intended charges.
Next week at The Miller's Arms.

Half a Bar had worked hard to present his car-hire theft joke flawlessly. Unfortunately his timing was again out as the meals arived just prior to the punchline.

Wednesday, September 16, 2015

16/9/2015 Black Tie Mystery Bus Trip

A well supplied bus headed north, pretty well directly to The Cumberland.Rear Entry felt that we were veering left but that turned out to be the political tide of affairs.
Those assembled were dressed in their finery- a state Mountie spent most of the night attempting to undo.
Num Num had us screw each other in place of the non-existent run. The Stand-In Sergeant keeps expecting the Spanish contingent to be back before cricket season. Little does he know how much they are enjoying the tail winds and downhill roads over there.
First charged were the yanks - Hal, Barbara and son. Jetlag is some excuse for their apparent bemusement at affairs.
 Two Dicks and even Rats Arse were even sighted.The former seems to need lessons in etiquette.Not standing to show appropriate reverence for the GM is unacceptable of course.
Fop,with his local footy roots and Mountie representing record setting Queen Liz  were linked with a local agricultural legend. It seems King and Queen potato asked their daughter to save herself for a suitable noble.Her choice of Dennis Commetti was deemed unseemly as he was found to be a commontata.
We commiserated with Silic on the Bulldog's loss. We congratulated Rear Entry on the Tigers replacing the 9th place bogey with eliminitis.
SoS has kindly offered to accommodate a Syrian refugee minority. Just the young, single, attractive girls with few morals need apply.
Hymen  was charged for no reason.Pusbucket told a bad joke well.
Dumb and Dumber found yet another relative on an honor board.
Good food, free grog and Andy the One Man Band who improved as we drank more.
Fop's pants were lost early.
 Shafted kept himself nice.We should get that horse that knocked him out on contract.
Don't think we left anyone in Smeaton- the real cradle of civilization.
Well done Mountie!


Wednesday, September 9, 2015

7/8/2015 Shafted's Creswick Run

Creswick: a picturesque town cradled between volcanic hilltops depicting the grand architecture of a byegone era or as the Hare with his carefully chosen trail demonstrated- a drizzly,slippery,prickle-infested mudheap.
Charges were directed by the temporary stand in deputy assistant Choirmaster and the fill in Sergeant.
We welcomed back Teflon who was the only runner to return clean and Squizzy who didn't see much to worry him. Teflon and GILF seem to be at loggerheads over the quantity of his runs.
 Pauline and Lois were spotted going the wrong way on a tram.
Our Demon supporters were gathered- not because of tanking or a proclivity for attracting terminal illness, but for stuffing up elsewhere. They missed a Black Caviar like stretch of consecutive results at Ethiad by actually winning a match.
Mountie bequeathed the wooden spoon to Num Num on Carlton's behalf.
SOS showed that our grandparents" coiffure was ahead of their time.
The crocodile had left the bar at the American.

 Black Tie Night next week.- at a heavily subsidised $25, surely a bargain. Bus trip from the City Oval Pub at around 6:00 sharp for interestig parts as yet unknown. Let someone know if you will be late as we don't have names.
Home by 12:00.

Tuesday, September 1, 2015

31/8/15 Pusbucket's Run & BBq Miller's Arms.

An initially small group of hashers swelled in number as the run headed in the predicted compass point.
The passing of Bait's mum was sadly noted.
The date was noteworthy as the GM's birthday and the first day for 2 months without a claim against Bill Cosby.
The incident at last weeks footy where some Magpie folk were passing constructive criticism on to the Richmond players, only to receive rude gestures in return, was rightly sheeted home to Rear Entry.
D&D and Nummy's attempt at social climbing by moving to Alfredton seems to have backfired as the place sees to be some sort of ISIS enclave, with bomb disposal day having to fit in with the recycling program.
The run drew high praise from the Screw. His attention to detail included placement of Pussy at critical junctures.
Rowdy's proclivity for calling "On Right" when the mark pointed left indicates perhaps that his color blindedness is affecting other neurological functions.
 This did not prevent Runners, Walkers and Slackers from meeting at the sheltered drink stop.
At one point, all the "deer" jokes and anything connected were trotted out.
Road Runner brooked no interruptions and the stand-in grog master got the quantity and the discount about right.
Bart's passing resulted in many with passing connection to the Sport of Kings getting a drink
.Bait bore the brunt of Geelong's capitulation.

Tuesday, August 25, 2015

24/8/15 Miner's Tavern Flo Jo & Jack

A good gathering of Sovereign Hash with just the one token miner. Well done Rowdy.
No Pebbles. Some suggested he was laying low, avoiding share market investors.

The run explored more of central Ballarat, barely negotiated by Precious, brought us to a remarkably well provisioneddrink stop. Chicken sandwiches, mini rolls AND exotic beer. Not to mention those spritely women doing their boot camp things to Bubba's satisfaction.

Lots of welcomes back: Good to see Karen from Colac, Pall Bearer from Mt Clear, and SS from his adventure before dementia and Fluid Movement from her sabatical.

Bad Hare Day was a banner headline in the paper and prompted appropriate drinks. Superannuants recently impoverished were grateful for a free drink

Mountie returned from Port Douglas with arms infested by sandflies. Her application of haemorrhoidal ointment to the affected area, while soothing, just proved her continued inability to tell her arse from her elbow.

A sumptious meal followed.

 Next week to the Miller's Arms for a BBQ. Good of Num Num to offer to be Keeper of the Book, Hash Cash and Hash Flash.
Her job will be made easier when we locate the camera, the money tin or the book.

Tuesday, August 18, 2015

17/8/2015 Dazed and Confused & Pebbles Red Dress Run ,Seymours

An attractive group of hashers looked even better than usual, glammed up for the event. Some were pressed into drag while the usual suspects made the most of the opportunity to frock up. Some favoured full length numbers,while others chose accessories to complement their ensembles. Pebbles apparent tribute to an Uncanny-X man was a mystery.
Donations were directed to Ballarat District Nursing& Healthcare to assist their welfare work.
The run took in downtown Ballarat where blokes attired in red apparel were seen pushing a broken down male model into a car park. The drink stop was cleverly sited to avoid the non-existent rain and was close enough to the On After to preclude many taking "travellers".
Nummy recognised the Hare's tribute to the marriage equality debate.
Gilf, Pebbles and Num Num received numerical charges. Jack's similarity to Sharon Stone and Madonna seems purely chronological.
Half-a-Bar told the one about the Irishman confusing his protestants with his prostitutes with his usual panache. That is- a great build up with a fatal hesitation at the ... punchline.
A warming meal to complete the night.
Next week at The Miner's Tavern.
Keep September 14th free for the Black Tie Night.

Tuesday, August 11, 2015

10/8/15 Fop's Run from The Western

Western theme night from the Western saw almost all buy in to the theme,
with the usual exemptions (Rear Entry, Boot Rooter, and Silic looking
like a Western Canadian Lumberjack wearing the jacket he always wears.)

Royalty was present , not in the form of Her Vagesty, rather the GM of
Woollongong HHH, Triple Zero, and his trusty sidekick F U. They were
given welcome down downs prior to setting off.
A modern day record of 13 runners ran the run, well set radiating around
the Western, with a "Heavy Halt" at both of the Foster Running stores.
No one got lost or left behind, although Jack took a very long time for
a pee through the SPC fence. Bait led the walkers, Lois again left out
in the cold.
The drink stop consisted of a choice of home brew on tap, and met with
general acclaim, and the cracking whip of Glider.

Rowdy was forced by D&D in the role of GM for the night, with Spence the
fill in temporary Sergeant. Charges seemed to revolve around Rear Entry
being a slack prick, and FU being charged for being present; Shafted
wondered why Triple zero came equipped with an eastern theme to a
Western themed night? Pebbles got the Keefe and Thomas loser charge,
Lois the Kiwi loser charge, FOP the Michael Clarke loser charge, and no
one mentioned Carlton.
Plucka got charged for not getting charged, but by then FU was fucked up
by all her down downs.
Meals were well served, tasty and convivial.

Next weeks run is the Red Dress Run from Seymours, hosted by Pebbles and

Tuesday, August 4, 2015

1729 Hare Not The Bill Not Normal but Bait

Definitely an "S" themed evening.
Welcome back to Sticky (and her dad), even though she wanted Hash to be postponed until she was good and ready to make an entrance.
Those regretting the departure of  Silly Speaker  were asked to place their wallets on the bar to fund her future transport needs.
Cecil the lion also departed. Cecil is of course, named after a bike so Bent had that drink.
Cilla asked us to "Linger on the sidewalk where the neon signs are pretty", an instruction that was ignored by the hare . We did, however,run out of sight of the On On this week.
Hash is never wary of taking a position on issues of the day. Pussbucket was credited with the notion that Goodsey be equipped with real spears for his next dance as a method to progressively cull the dissidents at Swans games.
Pebbles added to our combined marathon tally by running in Sunny Queensland.
BP and the Sergeant are sojourning to Spain.
SS was naturally mentioned in his absence.
Red Dress run in a couple of weeks so we would welcome ideas for a worthy charity to support.
Black Tie is also coming up so look out for details.

Wednesday, July 29, 2015

Run 1728 Road Runner North Britain

No hashers went astray on the run. Perhaps it helped that we were never more than a few blocks from the On On. What the run lacked in subtlety, it compensated with brevity.
There was a surprising appearance by an old hasher in Bones, and a less surprising one by Wet Spot.
The drink stop at the Barber's Shop featured the 4 Spencers.
 Down Downs at a good price.
Alls wells from SS travelling north and Dribbles who briefly, lived up to his name.
Mrs D had plenty of charges to offer on the occasion of her 450th, which was just as well as the Sergeant appears to require a longer run up to whet his creative juices. It would be fair to acknowledge that he had committed his one charge to memory.
At last Pusbucket to the rescue with one of his expansive charges. No cryptic punchline though, just something about setting runs in the plural.
A Normal run at the Grapes next week. Red Dress fundraiser and Black Tie coming up.

Tuesday, July 21, 2015

Run 1727 Num Num's MidYear Christmas Lazy Moe's

After a freezing weekend, it seemed appropriate to celebrate a winter festival.
Our Hare set a run to the west- foreign climes for many. Rowdy found the location so unfamiliar that he missed the generous drink stop. As we has also misplaced the Hash Horn somewhere in Lucas, perhaps the confusion was understandable.
All expected the drink stop to be held at the Hare's abode, but she aparently hasn't yet broken in the neighbours.
The stand-in-screw,Shafted, mused about a trail including Christine Avenue (aven't you) and Warwick Park.
Mountie did complete the run in a neon festive outfit.
 Fascinator had found a way to be paid for attending Hash by making it to the Tapas Day at Michael Unwin's on Sunday.
Num Num completed her 400th, Bait his 1200th and BP the majority of a year since her last birthday.
Songs included an ode to Fluid Movement and Rear Entry on the occasion of "The Slap".
Then to the christmas feast which the establishment seemed to decree gourmet.At Hash, speed and volume are the primary cullinary virtues.

Tuesday, July 14, 2015

Run 1726 Thai Sala Pavilion Hare Bent Nose

The Hash publicity machine went all out promoting the merits of the upcoming run.
 Unfotunately,only the late arrival of Fo Jo and Jack  barely swelled the number of runners above a handfull. The hardy walkers were led through the squalls by Bait.

We all set off, resolving to stay together. That plan had the predictable ourcome. Pebbles melodic work with the horn did locate the lagging runners- but no Dumb and Dumber. This master communicator had indeed tried to locate us at the drink stop by phone. Unfortunately, this plan relied on someone else also having one, so his arrival was largely accidental.
Down downs (produced magically by by the multi-talented BP) were conducted at the Masta Museum where Gilf found her horse's little sister.

Bubba is still learning the intricasies of run setting after 300 events.
SS, who views 50 year olds as "young blokes", was farewelled for his northern Odyssey.
The Screw seemed underwhelmed by the subtleties of the washed out trail despite her relief at the arrival of the adrift D&D.

The meals were at a discounted price but that did not reduce their  quality or volume.The Choirmaster and the Screw may not need to feed until midweek.

Christmas in July at Lazy Moe's next week.

Friday, July 10, 2015

6/7/15 Run 1725 Asian Night Spartacus

Not your normal night at Hash.

It was definitely NOT your normal Hash night. And that wasn’t because Normal wasn’t there. Or because the GM and the most important member of his committee – the Grog Master- weren’t there.

It was because Heavy wasn’t there.

And yet plenty of Hashers were there, including lots of old Hash friends. Everyone had their own reasons for coming, but I suspect it was in large part to acknowledge their lost friend, to be around others who were sharing that numbness we’ve all felt since Heavy’s death and to do what little they could to help Shafted and Little Evil bear their heavy load.

A thoughtful toast was proposed by stand-in GM Rowdy and then we proceeded out into the night.

For some reason the magnificent East figured largely in Spartacus’s trail. The runners seemed to head towards the West, but the sharper ones (the walkers) made a beeline to Heavy’s house looking for the drink stop.

Shafted had guessed the same possibility and had abandoned the runners to join the walkers. His absence caused Mountie some considerable consternation when she realised that he was not present at the railway station Hash Halt.

The Mass Debater was brooking no argument as he boldly took over the role of Walk Nazi from his missing mate Normal. Along the Yarrowee we went, following snippets of the trail, across the bridge at Queen Street, down an On Back and onto Humffray Street. Despite the fact we’d only gone a couple of kms Pauline felt the need to risk life and limb just to cut off a few metres by crossing over the road then  crossing back again.

The healthy, energetic walkers soon found the drink stop, under the verandah at the former Black Rhino, although Crock didn’t guess that some Eskis full of grog and ice might actually constitute a drink stop. The morbidly lazy Hashers had walked all the way from the Crazy Asian to the drinks, which 45 metres they must have found quite taxing.

Proving that simultaneous climaxes are quite difficult to arrange, the runners arrived at the scene about ten minutes later. Shafted had managed to be reabsorbed by the pack, a strangely disturbing concept.

A group hug in a circle beneath the Southern Cross gave us a few moments to reflect on what Heavy meant to us. That was followed by an inevitable “Beneath the Sothern Cross” chant and a spontaneous down down in Heavy’s memory.

Back at the crazy place down downs flowed like, well, light beer. The Precious one set two Hash records that should stand the test of time: youngest Hasher to reach 100 runs and only Hasher to have a water down down in his 100th. run mug.

All the welcome backs were welcomed back, which nearly used up the slab. The sergeant was his usual scintillating self, but I somehow forget the subject of his scintillating charges.

The food was a revelation in its own way. It brought to mind the only joke that Bad Hair Day has NEVER heard!

If the answer isinfatuation prick what is the question?      “How would you like those dim sims cooked?”

Those crazy Asians have apparently perfected the art /science of low temperature frying. Who knew you could do that?

Still there was plenty of food, there was plenty of noise and it turned out to be a good night.

But it still wasn’t your normal hash night and it’ll be some time before we get used to the new normal.


Wednesday, July 1, 2015

Run 1424 Old Colonist's Club Bad Hair Day

We were all stunned by the loss of Heavy during Monday's run. His loss will be keenly felt not only by his family and Sovereign Hash, but also by the wider Hash community.
There is to be a get-together on Thursday July 2nd at the Bunch of Grapes, Pleasant St from 6:00.

Thursday, June 25, 2015

22/6/15 Hare Pus Bucket Grapes Hotel

With the Hare back from the Far East it was no surprise that the run omitted 3 points of the compass.
Mountie now attends funerals to canvas drink stop venues. We should all follow suit as Jim and Kate set a new high mark in catering.
There was again an attempted insurection during the walk. The Kiwis seem to be involved again.
Glider deputised magnificently as Grogmaster.
We all toasted Joy on Spencer's behalf. That makes three mums lost to Hash recently.
SS employed some subtle algebra to characterize a run as palindromic.
Those who had ignored the Pope's directive to all car pool were noted.
Lois told a couple of Hash jokes which covered most orifices.
Fascinator observed that the late arrival of the fish warranted  renaming of the species to BarraTuesday. He then topped this by winning the raffle - a bottle of wine. Sort of coal to Newcastle.
He is becoming unintentionally funny.

Wednesday, June 17, 2015

1722 Royal Mail Cris Cros

All the ingredients of a top run.
Novelty: exploring the under-appreciated Ballarat West
Topicality:We were embroiled in the marriage equality debate
Drink Stop Excellence: Runners and walkers coincided with much grog left over. This latter aspect was aided by Shafted's inability to find us.
Prompt Food Service: No waiting for excellent pub food.
Armchairs  and a fire for the less mobile hashers.
Most of the run took in our iconic Yarrowee. The hare had prepared a warning for a particularly treacherous stretch. Of course Mountie fell over before we got there.
Runners safety was ensured as they were escorted through St James school by security.
Bob was welcomed as a new runner. More discord amongst the walking clan.
Rear Entry returned and was advised to protect his reconstructed innards in the likelihood of  overly humourous charges.
Her Vag and Plucka have run 100 times altogether.
An attachment depicting Normal in groping mode was found to be difficult to delete so do not open at work -especially on my bosses computer. Thanks Rowdy. More work for the IT bloke.
Fluid Movement made an early bid for the Tight Arse award by hitting the bain-marie early.
Hash Cash had been apprehended during the week, making off with a charity tin. Well done to those carrying out the citizen's arrest.

Tuesday, June 9, 2015

Run 1721 Queen's Birthday- Mountie's Republican Run

A truly aristocratic run, taking in Queen St, King St and Princes St, all in honour of Liz on a day made more regal by America Pharoah taking the the Tripple Crown.
 Many hashers away at the footy or the other East.
FM and SS had represented our culture at a Celtic festival.
The walk proved too precarious for Mrs D, who fell off the footpath.
Fill in screw,Shafted, presented an invisible tribute to the" lonely "Hare to the tune of the anthem.
Next week at the Royal Mail.

Tuesday, June 2, 2015

Run 1720 1/6/15 Spencer Hocking The Park

The run took us around the new water gardens behind the Hockey Centre.These had apparently escaped the notice of D&D as he set his recent run in the same area. Despite the cold, Precious channelled Glider. Errol &Sue hosted the drink stop.
SOS,Bubba, Gilf and Precious were among those welcomed back, putting pressure on the Choirmaster.
Mountie welcomed her Hymen back,not having seen it/him for some time.
Boot was called to task for his failure to carry out his Religious Advisory duties. With Rear Entry brought down by a toothpick and in dire need of clemency, it was expected that our RA would have seen the need for the last rites to be administered ... but not so.
 Shafted had contemplated the possible reason for the Rear Entry gastric incident. George Pell's minions were exonerated as the guilty prick was diagnosed a non-catholic.
The Bill, Bubba, Pebbles and Rowdy were acknowledged for the Magpies lead role in initiating the reconciliation round.
Normal finally got his goblet, Pebbles acheived the English cricket score of 3 four 2 and the integrity Mrs D's coiffure was called into question- particularly the hue.

Thursday, May 28, 2015

25/5/15 Run 1719 Hare Glider for Normal's 1000th

Having left Nepal in ruins, Normal finally made it to 1000.
The Run
We left a frigid car park, skirted the scene of some nefarious clergy before arriving at the workshop for a well stocked drink shop .
We had no goblet, no Go Go, just a rasta Half a Bar and evidence of  a Kenyan haberdashery entrepreneur.
This missive is in 'normal' font though, for the typographers out there.
 Not wishing to be upstaged, Bent completed his 1200th.
The select group of hashers made the most of SS's selection of wines at the top Eureka to mark the occasion.

Tuesday, May 19, 2015

18/5/15 Run 1718 Her Vagesty Market Hotel

Prior to the run, the passing of Silic's mother was noted.
The run around the Victoria Park on Rainbow Day did lack some of the expected diversity. Jelly shots,chips, lollies and good beer at the drink stop made up for that.
Silic's frugality, it was explained, is genetic. He was included into the fold by Half a Bar and Bent Nose.
Things AbNormal were noted:Bent leading the walk,Fop being Fop and Go Go travelling for a non existent major event. Her Vag was deemed just normal.
BP was given the Barnaby charge for a promising war on terriers.
Precious, SOS and Bar Liquour (sporting a shepherding wound) returned after absences.
SS brought his own fishing trophy. Cris Cros almost successfully cleared a waterway. D&D's bike security was applauded, other than the small matter of leaving the key in the lock.

Notices were listed as:Inter Hash early bird discounts close on June 30th
                                   :Peninsula Hash June 10th
                                   : Lakeside Hash July 4th

Sunday, May 17, 2015

1717 11/5/15 Heavy's from the old shop.

Heavy, after getting up at surprisingly short odds at Warrnambool, set his standard unconventional run. Green Ginger Wine in the City Oval grandstand preceded the main drink stop. Dim sims were followed by fish'n'chips at the fairly compact on after. Pussbucket reprised the 60's famous figure Foo by appearing over a parapet.
Visitors Wait a While and Go Go were welcomed with Half a Bar who was presented with new roustabout attire.
Rear Entry's 600th run was acknowledged despite the sceptics. Normal's 999 was also deemed significant.
Mountie was pictured at Miss Saigon, while D&D and Lois missed the shot as they were apparently asleep at the time. This did allow reference to the truism that you can lead a horticulture but you can't make her think.

1716 Lazy Moe's Dumb and Dumber

The hare pronounced the run to be unshortcutable. Unsurprisingly, a good hashman accepts this as a challenge. Well done Shafted. Those people want their fence fixed though.
New runner James was welcomed especially by those similarly domed. Pebbles disappearance was resolved when he emerged from Heavy's shadow.
The Hare was fondled,titilated,and then stimulated prior to being screwed.Just for marking out a run.
 Trailmaster's job getting future runsetters just got way easier.
The birth of another British aristocrat prompted old line about their newfound talent for negotiating tunnels.

Saturday, May 16, 2015

1715 Pussbucket's Run Miner's Tavern

No surprise that the run went East.
 Bad Hair Day featured on high rotation on the in-house -TV.
Normal, having just escaped the Nepal disaster, was taken right back past Kathmandu by the hare -a tad insensitive but topical.
Spencer was outed for his links to the IBAC scandal Seems he is an ex-principal, has had unexplained overseas trips and a liking for red wine AND is suspected of having a bank acount. Join the dots.

Friday, May 15, 2015

1714 20/4/15 Boot's Run Grapes Hotel

This run would have been immortalised with images but Hash Flash was flat.
The drink stop featured an Italian motor bike. D&D and Donuts were impressed.
Grog Mistress Plucka obtained discount drinks in the Hash tradition.
Num Num made The Courier's social pages and in another tradition , was misspelled as Janie. 

Monday, March 30, 2015

Midnight's Run, Slaty Creek. Hare Rowdy, 30th March 2015

Twenty-two years on from the watery demise of Midnight, and the auspices were poor. No Grand Master, no Deputy Grand Master, no Screw, no Sergeant, - and that was just the beginning. No Choir Master, no Religious Advisor, no Hash Horn, no Hash Flash.
No Normal.     ?
No Drambuie.

Lunchtime hit, and the eucalypt-scented smoke clouds were seen billowing up through the stratosphere from the middle of the Creswick state forest, just as the absent GM sent a garbled message that the meat and the BBQ trailer were unable to attend due to lack of interest. And then the picnic ground was full with Grey Nomads sipping on their Chardonnay, and father/son school holiday bonding efforts.

Luckily the spirit of the Sovereign Hash kicked in, Lois Lane and Bent Nose to the rescue, Bent with a mercy trip from the NSW border - without time to practice his trailer reversing skills prior to driving out to Slaty Creek Picnic Ground # 1.5 and delivering the goods. Rowdy had planned to drive through the forest to the on-on, and home the same way, but was turned back by DSE protecting their fire zone; Sillic navigated Reary through an inordinate number of obstacles, and through DSE road blocks to prove that they could; I think they drove home the long way.

Sixteen lucky Hashers turned up, five on the run, nine on the walk, and Rear Entry and Sillic to protect the campfire, on what turned out to be a magnificent evening, with perfect weather, perfect trail, a perfect drink stop and a perfect half moon once the sun had set. A few Furphys were told. Criss Cross screwed the walk, which managed to improve itself by not following trail, and included an on-back to return to where trail wasn't. Illogical but effective.

Mountie screwed the run, and despite having no idea where she was, and running all on backs, then being cut short in her screw by Criss Cross, - who is used to finishing first and fails to understand why any female should then wish to continue - , also eventually managed to deliver for the 21st time her Ode to Midnight Limerick. On On Midnight.

Welcome back to Dazed and Confused, significant runs to Glider, D & C, and someone else.
Bent Nose rightly asserted himself as the alpha male and took upon hosting duties. Plucka was encouraged to the sergeanting role, and performed as well as a Collingwood player without steroids.

Lois deflected any charges heading her way by announcing her Aussie heritage and citizenship, and BP coped with the cricket result by staying at home and sulking. Criss Cross was on fire and charged our Kiwi friends with poisoning the poor Magpie players with tainted meat during their Queenstown summer training camp. No arguments there.

Sillic blamed being "infirm" for the fact that he was sitting through the charges. Consensus was that he is more likely "un-firm". He took a drink. On a similar theme, D & C was charged for confessing a soft pillow between her legs helped her to sleep. Rear Entry offered to supply her with his soft equivalent. Pebbles looked on with interest. And Plucka and D & C were noted to be wearing distinctive, highly coloured footwear, all the better to cover their camel feet?

How many Hashers does it take to set up the barby? Most of them, all at one.
How many Hashers does it take to reverse a trailer? All of them, all at once.

Once Glider managed to crank up the flame on the very stable and fastidiously levelled barby, sausages and steak were cooked to perfection, complemented by a salad of leaves of mixed lettuce, Kalamata olives, diced Australian tasty cheese and slivered tomato, with a drizzle of French dressing, then bread, butter and a selection of sauces to taste.

The night was concluded by pissing on the fire. All were happy.

Next week's run is from the GM's house in Miners Rest.

Sunday, March 29, 2015

RUN 1710 Venue: Platypussy Mt Clear Hare: Criss Cross 23 March 2015

(abbreviated) Criss Cross, Got us to his Rear Entry for the Platypus properties virgin run.

ON ON back out the back gate onto an old train track and back. Over a fence or two.  Up a track and back down to the drink stop at the Recreation Reserve. Pretty painless and missed a few of the promised mountain bike tracks.

Welcomes backs to Sideshow Bob who brought along Virgin Runner, fraulein Kim to meet last weeks frauleins.  Kim Jong Un of North Korea twisted to Lee Kwon Yew of Singapore who had just passed on. So Leak On You twisted to Golden Showers and back to Leak on You.

Welcome back Bar Liquor and Two Dicks was there to back up Criss Cross with some nice tucker.

Significant runs for Pebbles had drawn three sets of tits in the Book like 333.  Sideshow Bob had six with Leak On You on her first run. 

Heavy work load led to Heavy not scribing a song so Rowdy improvised with;

Hot Cross Buns

Criss Cross Runs,
Bums Sums Mums


Spence called for charges Shafted re told the Jacko joke and pointed out the Evil Little bong like “wasp trap” in the hanging basket.


Next Week’s Run: Midnights run by Rowdy

Theme; Lust of the light bush

Venue; Slatey Creek

Meal; BBQ (if we can get the trailer there)

Saturday, March 28, 2015

RUN 1709 Venue: Old Col Awards and SS1500!! Hare: The Bill 16 March 2015

This had every chance of being the best yet 1500th run night, naturally for one of our Older Hashers, SS. and it happened to coincide with the Annual Awards Night (held yearly).


Billy Goat set a beaut little run, down Mair, through Old Tanya’s carpark, we then skirted below Camp and through a narrow “private” access to Sturt St much to the chagrin of a resident. We then headed east but deviated in the mall to run past the Old Hamburger Cart to see if Silic was there yet.  We waved to the other Old Bill’s on Dana St then on to remember the days of the Old School yard where we used to laugh a lot.  We then ran through the Old jail, on to the Old brewery to wave to Old Bertie, on back along Lydiard down to the Drink Stop at the Old ANA building (All Natives Association).  Appropriately a Mr Ginn unveiled 1925 foundation stone on Old St Patrick’s day 1925).


Welcomes backs to lot of distinguished older and some just kinda former hashers who were gathering at Old Col to acknowledge the first ever 1500th Run for one of our own.  SS has run something approaching 88% of Ballarat Sovereign Hash runs since inception by Founding Father Ed (WILBUR) Davis.  WILBUR regally headed a bunch that also returned to the fold including SPIDER, PUFFER, GASSER, LEN EVANS, CC, HOT LIPS, SEMEN, SPANNA, SQUIZZY and REMOTE.

We also had several First Timers for the night, all the way from Germany, Katja and Kristina, and all the way from central Victoria, Newstead NED and Bendigo BEN. The virgins balanced the Vets with their youth.  Fresh from Busselton, In Limbo was the principal representative delegate from outside Hash kennels

Lots of acknowledging Down Downs were forthcoming for SS along with a few gifts to mark the occasion;

Photo printed1500 T shirt, a singing fish and a fancy pen. His “Oh SS Boy” song was done proppa by APob.
Happy Birthday Little Evil, could he choose between the delectable Deutsche? The Invading central vic boys almost stole them and the scene.


Other awards for the evening were;

PISS POT OF THE YEAR  FOP-- for his Green out at the Balls Up.

TIGHT ARSE PRICK -- Half a Bar for his continued insistence that his 75 cent bottles of wine were as good as grunge.

F’ING SPECTACLE --Silic hunted through Plucka’s flywire screen door without opening it when her virgin run was unveiled

POT CALLING KETTLE BLACK – Mounty got the nod from Rowdy for her “rental property” revelation.

SHIT HOUSE RUN -- Candida had a great night in the School Gym but there were too many strains sprains and pulled muscles…Plus she loves the toilet seat trophy so much it would be cheeky to part her from it.

SHIT HOT RUN – BP for Her 1000th at La Gerche’s, great first time setting (nothing to do with Bent who tried to copy her some weeks later)

CLUBMAN AWARD.--.Lois Lane got the AhSo award for her ongoing efforts especially in the counting house.

Honourable Mentions to Spence for helping out and Rowdy for his grand effort having set five Runs off his own bat!

Dummies to FOP, Normal, Silic, and Fluid Movement


Andy Pobjoy and sidekick Sean entertained for the rest of the night after our sumptuous Seafood Extravaganza (apologies to Plucka Duck).  Thanks also go to Bill the Barman at the Old Col for his tolerance and service and to Phil from Ballarat Seafood who ensure we had the best quality Prawns and Oysters at the Best price.

Next Week’s (now Last week’s) Run: CRISS CROSS

Theme; Hot Cross Buns

Venue; 14 plait her Puss aven you Mount her Clear

Tuesday, March 10, 2015

RUN 1708 Venue: Gong Gong Reservoir Hare: Rowdy 9 March 2015

Rowdy, Trail Master extraordinaire put his hand up for setting a run on the eastern edge of his side of town at the Gong Car Park Barbicuaria.  With just a dozen or so expected after the Labour Day long Weekend, how easy it should be.  A quiet back to basics night with a few snags in bread; BUT hashers kept coming out of the woodwork and voted with their feet on an enchanting Autumnal eve.  Blue collars everywhere. Surprisingly no one managed to bribe the CHW groundsman to leave the gate open for an extra hour or two so we had to park cars outside the perimeter fence.

"ON ON" the Billy Goat cried. Hashers headed up the hill leaving the rotunda guard Silicate as well as Rear Entry and Bad Hair Day to secure the base BBQs and ensure they remain free of Begonia Bogans. 

The good pack of runners took off on a 7km jaunt in the catchment forest of the granite based Gong reservoir while the weaker walkers walked the water way.  The comfortable convergence brought all together at poly-box Drink Stop packed with Fosters, girlies and lots of ice.

We dawdled on Home to the rotunda, warmed the hot plates and set up lights for an illuminating dusk - and kept drinking Rowdy’s Fosters, XXXX Gold and Boags etc…

Welcomes backs to Bungee, Paul and Spence. Significant runs tonight to LOIS LANE, on Honda CB 750, something that has been ridden a lot.  Rear Entry was coming behind on a Yammie 650, Precious was palindromic and SOS was two ate two.

The Choir of brethren belted out a stunning rendition of Heavy’s twisted ditty “You Don’t Get me I’m Part of the Union”

Now I'm a hashing man
Amazed at what I am
I’ll stay for a drink
Then I’ll piss in your sink
Yes, I'm a hashing man.

When we meet in the local hall
I'll be drinking with them all
With a hell of a shout
Don’t let the Down Downs run out
And laugh about Silic’s… rubber ball.

OOOH you don't get me I'm part of the Hashers
You don't get me I'm part of the Hashers
You don't get me I'm part of the hashers
Till the day I die, till the day I die.

As a hashing man I'm wise
And tell all the new tarts lies
That I have a big tool
That makes women drool
But they always read between the lines.

And when I get my way
I will promise not to stray

But when my dick gets hard
It looks for another Yard
This is what I say.

OOOOH you don't get me I'm part of the Hashers
You don't get me I'm part of the Hashers
You don't get me I'm part of the Hashers
Till the day I die, till the day I die.

Rowdy drank saluting Solidarity Forever!


Spence called for charges to the randomly targeted subjects of the song. Silicate, Mrs Dickhead.

Spence was in Launceston and missed a monty as he didn’t Hold True to his convictions. Tassie Map talk abounded and MastaBait in his Ray Charles glasses showed how to read Lois Lane’s map in Braille while Beer Fuck thought clitoris was an island off of Greece famous for its ouzo.


SILICATE sausages bread and onion.

SILICATE’n’ Rear Entry were heard to advise Dumb and Dumber which security motion sensors can detect snail pace slothful stealth. Don’t know how they knew so much.

SILICATE up the accolades when telling a well-received joke about the Lone Ranger leaving his “Injun running”. Poor Tonto marked the culmination of Down Downs.

Next Week’s Run: AWARDS NIGHT expect First Ever 1500th

Theme; St Patricks, Green, IRISH MUSIC and Pobjoy’s Piano Accordian

Venue; OLD COLONISTS CLUB in Lydiard St North

Meal; Seafood extravaganza and Kentucky flied

Tuesday, March 3, 2015

RUN 1707 Venue: Sovereign Hill Car Park Hare: Normal 2 March 2015

The sealed surface meant it was the closest the Bill’s newest car has ever been to the ON ON.  It was such a nice evening a happy camper couple was holed up in a caravan in the car park to get an earful of farks.  They were waiting for the night show in Sovereign Hill.

The running pack set off toward the Gold Museum and hit the hills while the walkers went to flats of Main Road.   Set on the classic Breast Stroke pattern that has rubbed off on Normal. The convergence was back at ye old gay house to reminisce and toast the old pop at the Drink Stop.

On Home to the warm welcome of the crew that were setting an ambience and lubricating their tonsils with cold beer to aid the secret practicing of the screw tune to ensure an impeccable delivery.  

Welcome back to Hymie, Roadrunner and Plucka.  Small "s" significant runs tonight, to Pebbles had home time, three thirty (330), Silic was 3LO (774). MRS D 343 had a nice ring to it. Rear Entry claimed to be on several thousand (3,773) way more than The Bill’s 1473 and SS’s 1499, put together.

Heavy entrusted his tune of Williamson’s Hey True Blue to a lubricated choir including Shafted, Halfabar, Silic, Rear Entry and Mountyie.

Hey Norm Al.

Is it true?

That you had an arsehole transplant

And it rejected you.


Even when She's far away Normal feels Her Near.

Hey Masterbait, is it me and you
Did you really get that pissed off?
When I sold your T shirt too
Masterbait, I'm a-asking you

The old mates had a drink together, keen to bury the hatchet and sink the slipper.

Rear Entry couldn’t repair the music machine and replaced it with a witches hat megaphone.  Mountyie wanted more of Hymen workouts and harassed him repeatedly. Mrs D was reunited with the set of clothes she had left behind last week. NQA.

A complete range of cucumbers to please all was made available to the ladyies to work off their Hymie slimeys. Shafted was made to take his down downs through the megaphone.

Pus Bucket was dogged in his joke telling of the 3 mutts at the vets, 2 in for castration for overzealous digging and biting and the third, a German Shepherd’s guilty of rampantly humping his bent over female owner meant castration also?  No just a nail trim actually!

Down Downs went around and around and ON and ON, Fluid Movement kept it flowing. Ain’t Autumn great! The trailer got drank dry so fresh grog next week.  On Afters at Top Eureka for most and the Burger Cart for some Thai tarses.

Note; Most awards in for some work. Normal’s bringing in the Kettle, Her Vagesty has the Piss Pot. Who has the Shit House Run dunny lid and the Spectacle? All to be redistributed at the Awards Night, 16 March, Seafood Spectacular and musician. Could be some one's 1500th too.


Next Week’s Run: Rowdy Committee Run Labour Day Weekend, Free Beer and sausages to all Ticket Holders

Theme; Three Gongs pre Award event

Venue; The Gong Reservoir Car Park