Tuesday, March 20, 2018

19 - 3 - '18       Run 1871      Chisholm St

HER VAGESTY's run around the Nerrina Hills with Hash 33.
HEAD HUNTER called the reverance & no-one took any 
notice, so on it went until she got "real serious", & then 
there was FOP. He welcomed virgin runners Christine &
Richy, & welcomes back to Toppy & some locals - tba.
HER VAG talked about the fairly short run, marked in chalk,
flour & yellow paint. HEAD HUNTER was in Christine's ear
all the way, being the Hash Saleswoman Extraordinaire.
After the huge hill to get us back to Black Hill lookout, we 
eventually came across the well stocked Furphy Drink-stop.
SILIC was busy talking up his recent week away to 
SHAFTED saying, "If you hang round the Pub long enough,
someone will give you one" ...... err, a Crayfish!!
Pizzaman FOP arrived, so down downs were on hold while
the seagulls circled. SHAFFY had meat on the bone with 
home-made cucumber pickle .... said he'd been eating it for 
3 days ....... someone's suggestion "sounds like the 
honeymoon !!"
FOP welcomed Christine, Toppy & Richy then welcomes
back for MASTABAIT, SOS, CHRIS CROS, BP, BENTNOSE,
HALF A BAR, SPARTACUS & REAR ENTRY.
                        (They're the meanest ...... )
FOP called on Stand-in Screw PEBBLES to screw partner
HER VAG. He talked about the short sharp run with the long
creep up the hill, but they said "No, THE BILL's the creep".
He said that the pizza arrived on time & the score would 
be .... 'whatever'.
Sergeant SPENCE began with the question "who made you
cum?" TEFLON made Christine cum, SPARTACUS made
Richy cum & HALF A BAR made Toppy cum.
                   (Put it in your hand Mrs Murphy ..... ).
Sniffyc*nt Days charge was St Patrick's for HEAD HUNTER
& ROWDY, then Pi Day for Pie's Supporters having no days
all year - ROWDY, CHRIS CROS, PEBBLES & NUTCRACKER 
CHRIS CROS recently turned up at the Airport on the wrong
day (who'd have thought?) & MASTABAIT was accomplice.
SPENCE had Richy out for the GEORGE PELL - I - CAN
charge with his prime No run, or was he the prime suspect?
Was it even Full Nelson, Half Nelson or Brother Nelson?
DUMBER & DUMBER gave Toppy the small man charge,
(have I got it right this time D&D?) along with HALF A BAR,
FANG was charged for buying the Seniors Coffee at Macca's,
then HALF A BAR for his whole $20 donation to the 
orphanage after his fund-raiser.
Who was trying to do PLUCKA in by ordering prawn pizza,
& then there was SHAFTED's pork for the Jews.
ROWDY charged virgin Christine for "show us your 
tree-hugger T shirt", & she showed us the camel-toe as well.
SILIC gave old mate REAR ENTRY a drink for fronting up to
Hash, just because SOS owed him money, then DUMBER 
had overheard SILIC telling REARY earlier in the day "we'll
leave & get a good pizza instead".
LOIS LANE charged DONUTS for saying "You don't get a 
Labrador - their owners go blind".
                     (ROWDY led the Que Sera Sera song).
HALF A BAR became the club-house leader over DIMWIT,
with his gag about The Pies' new sponsor Tampax, for their
very bad period.
                      (You're ugly ......)
BENTNOSE joined HALF A BAR as 'when one Jew drinks',
then the 2 Dr's for some reason (?).
That's all I can read ..... they keep on having down downs in
the nearly dark, although BENT did produce his ultra high
beam to half blind everyone, & he even tried to re-heat the 
pizzas a couple of times.

Next week's run - 1872 - Hare ROWDY's 'Midnight Run' from
Slatey Creek.

Don't forget "Light for the Stand-in Scribe" - see y'all Apr. 2.

Tuesday, March 13, 2018

19 - 3 - '18     Run 1870     Vic Park BBQ's

The "hope I don't f*ck this one up & incur the 'furious wrath' 
of more members" blog for Run 1870. Members concerned 
were upset about some 'mistakes', but if you had to decifer
my jottings on a Tuesday morning, sometimes thru' bleary
eyes ..... !! One Harriette with the same name as MOUNTIE
posted about such mistakes as she wrote "commments".
We had the Hash 25, with about half that as super athletes.
FOP intro'd the run as the Labour Day run by the hard
working Committee, but half of them had the night off .... 
bloody unions. He said it was 4.5 km, set in chalk & flour,
although the paint wasn't too crash hot on the gravel.
We went west to the High School ovals, north past the 
Aquatic, back over to the Begonias, then down past the rings
& on to the Drink-stop & chips in Vic Park.
Back at the On After, FOP had picked up the very welcome 
tarps to shield the wind & the forgotten eggs. He had 
welcomes back for THE BILL, TEFLON, RANDOLPH & Seth,
& QUICKDICK but forgot HEAD HUNTER, then the Choir
Master buckled saying, "Give us an A for all these".
Stand in Screw QUICKDICK was up next to screw 
Hare RANDOLPH, (closely watched thru' envious eyes by
SPENCER HOCKING). He said that it was great to see a 
good run & well marked by some young blood, & in the 
Begonia area.                  (Shitty trail .... ).
Sergeant SPENCE revelled in having a student out the front,
but said to RANDOLPH that the paint would last on the road
for 1870 years.                (You're stupid ...... ).   
BAD HEAD JOB was next for blog mistakes, & DUMBER
was able to tell it all over - CRUTCHLESS was camping (not
NUTCRACKER) in tents (& it wasn't intense!!).  MOUNTIE
joined the charge for her commment, & BITCHFACE was 
there for some reason (?). DUMBER stayed out for the charge
with SS (you'll do SPENCE) about Melb. AFLW playing so 
well, that they should be replacing the men in their Comp.
MOUNTIE had a drink for the Cricket Team in the finals, then
NUMMY joined her for their Saturday at Mt Buninyong, 
to return Sunday & burn the place down.
PUSBUCKET had a drink for saying to MOUNTIE during her
golf lesson, "You're standing too close to the ball - AFTER
you've hit it !!"
D & D had a charge for NUTCRACKER wanting to wear a 
'fascinator' to the races - usually it's DONUTS.
NORMAL cooked up the eggs, bacon & hash browns (in
behind the wind break), scolding everyone who dared to
give him advice. There was also cheese, salad & bread rolls,
& some sweet stuff. 
....... & guess who just happened to be going past 
NORMAL's place for a ride home?

Next weeks run - 1871 - Hare HER VAGESTY at the 
Chisholm Street Park.

Monday, March 5, 2018

5 - 3 -'18     Run 1869    219 Coalmine Rd.

SHAFTED's 'Bro' Run', that saw the skinny Foster 'Gary', & 
FOP's bro' Travis roll up with 30+ in all. SHAFTED was early
for a change, & quickly berated anyone who came late. He 
said the run was marked in pink paint, blue ribbon & quinoa
( HALF A BAR, it's "kin wah") flour, straight away relegating
ROWDY to the walker's fold - can't be having those colours!
Trail began behind the shed, & followed the very recently
mown track to the little bit of circle work, & then into the 
bush. FASCINATOR sqwarked all the way (like the swearing
bird on it's perch), hoping that SHAFFY would take over his
mantle of shithouse run. Seen on the run, was the remnant 
of a drink-stop from 2 years ago - plastic bag full of empties.
A lot of bush bashing & we came across the Drink-Stop, 
where the "fit-bitters" debated the length of the run - 
between 8.6 & 9.9km, when SHAFFY thought the dislexia 
kicked in - 6.8. D&C was looking for water, but it was
"all frozen" into little cubes at the bottom of the Esky.
GEORGE PELL - ICAN appeared from the shed nearby, 
along with the chilli chips.
At the On After, FOP welcomed back Gary - the bro' from
another Mother, & virgin runner Travis (as MOUNTIE 
announced) the dumb-shit bro', along with his Down Down
mentor CRUTCHLESS - she'd also forgotten the Down Down
glasses.             (he's the meanest ........... ).
FASCINATOR began the screwing, saying that it was nicely
marked, but it was as long as the Bradman average - 9.9, 
& must have been set by 6 bros - Gary even ran his own
On Backs. Fascination level of 69, then 'yawn' (Shitty Trail),
& MOUNTIE, a drink for reading from the song sheet.
Sergeant SPENCE had a charge for BITCHFACE - last week
signed the book as Susie No 7 run, then, this week
as BITCHFACE No 6 run.
Next was the siblings charge for FOP & Travis, SHAFTED
& Gary, and MOUNTIE & BITCHFACE.
                     (Oh, the wiggle of her arse .......... ).
DIMWIT drank up for not wanting to own the gag - birds in
the hand vs one on the face.
Late comers DIMWIT & PEBBLES were out - Navigator
PEBBLES sent them the wrong way for the 2nd year in
succession, & made DIMWIT short of diesel again - (top
half of the tank is always good DIMWIT).
The wounded (the bleeders) from the run were next, 
MOUNTIE, NUTCRACKER & BITCHFACE wiping away the
blood. PUSBUCKET already had scabs on his shin - was 
that from MOUNTIE being "down the other end", after the
30th Anniversary fun last week?
               (ROWDY's chorus - Only women bleed !!).
MOUNTIE, NUTCRACKER & BITCHFACE stayed out, to be 
joined by PRECIOUS, because they all "went down on"
the rail track.
FOP charged HER VAG for her big pink C, & then
NUTCRACKER was called out for her pink bits.
LOIS LANE had DONUTS out for walking to the big log 
saying, "Think I'm gonna pull that off".
NUTCRACKER had a drink for describing her camping
as intense (in tents), BITCHFACE wondered if it was a cow
or horse in the paddock, but then SHAFTED has bought a
few horses that have turned out to be cows.
FASCINATOR didn't want to "cross the line", but charged
CRUTCHLESS anyway, for taking HER FANNY away for the
weekend, making him a w/end batchelor, but he party'd 
along with SHAFTED , PLUCKA & Paul Bearer, then
SHAFFY had another drink for escorting CRUTCHLESS to
the loo, & holding the door ..... only slightly open.
PUSBUCKET gave ROWDY a drink for (if nothing else),
standing in front of the '3 old poofs'.
SS had the 'in absentia' charge for NORMAL, so DIMWIT
drank - was all about MASTABAIT & BENT NOSE being away,
he had no chauffeur. He phoned D&C who said she "wasn't 
going tonight", then she promptly drove out. He phoned SS,
who couldn't help, then left a voice message for BHD, who 
thought NORMAL was about to offer a ride to Lal Lal. In the
end, NORMAL said that he couldn't be stuffed going, that he
would spend the night with his wife - you missed out on "the
sex & running at the mighty Sovereign Hash" NORMAL.
                   (Put it in your hand Mrs Murphy, it spits
                         when you jerk it up & down ..... ).
1st run of autumn & it's not that cold, but NUM & DUMB both
had the winter Katmandu's on, BITCHFACE had a drink for 
wearing MOUNTIE's top, & NUTCRACKER, one for 
GEORGE PELL - ICAN.
Bill of Fare was BBQ snags in bread, spaghetti & bol sauce,
home grown cherry tomatoes, chilli & basil. NUTCRACKER
had a feast on the basil - just thinking about 'Barry'.
Oh, & Easter (sorry holiday) Eggs.

Next weeks run - 1870 - Committee Run from the BBQ's at the 
western end of the new playground opposite Loreto College.
Do we need to leg-rope SPENCER HOCKING?