Tuesday, June 27, 2017

26 - 6 -'17     Run 1830      Mystery Bus

Tic Tic & the clock well & truly rolls past the 6pm Sharp ETD,
while the 40 or so on the bus have an extra drink waiting for 
the arrival of the 'late' FANG. We eventually headed off West,
obviously with no thought for the "fabulous East", except for
PUSBUCKET saying we could be headed for East Adelaide.
I looked round to see DR DEATH's legs hanging out of his 
dress - "put your legs down Goyny, it's getting draughty", 
just as he took to the floor with his '6 Moose' gag.
Along the way we found out that "who makes MOUNTIE cum?"-
PUSBUCKET of course, but "who makes PUSBUCKET cum?" -
goes without saying - SPARTACUS.
We had a little stop (to put us off the scent), outside of the 
darkened Lexton Pub, then continued on to the Golf Club for
the cheese, dips & bickies.
HEAD HUNTER called reverance for the Circle, with some 
comment about 'kiss my arse' - & they all wanted to line up.
BENT NOSE had a charge for PEBBLES, that "he's been to
Lexton" (or something ?), then for Big Events' MOUNTIE
Jane from Lexton, for organising a great night .... " in your
hand Mrs Murphy ..... "
CLEAV(er)AGE, & DONUTS, to the tune of "here's to
the returners". 
New runners had a drink - Michelle, PYRO, PRAWN STAR,
DOUBLE ADAPTOR, Cecilia ( CRUTCHLESS made her cum),
& Rochelle ( HER VAGESTY made her cum) ..... "We've got
virgins on the run".
Sergeant SPENCER HOCKING had a charge for LOIS LANE
about some sign (?) - she drank to the "You're stupid, you're
stupid" song, then Big Events' MOUNTIE for the 2nd year
milestone of HEAVY's demise .... "You've got a big thing",
& last week, LADY TRAMP could have had a PEBBLES
big thing. SPENCE went on to charge DIMWIT for no reason
at all, but could be to drink out of his new wig, new dress or
whatever. NUM NUM & DUMB DUMB had a going away drink
to celebrate the trip to FNQ, bringing back the Hash 
memorabilia, but when NUMMY couldn't drink out of the hat,
DUMBY upended it over his girly wig.
MOUNTIE made PRAWN STAR cum tonight, who made PYRO
cum as well, then NORMAL (had to!!) step up to take a drink
on behalf of the 2 waitresses. 
HER VAG took over the Pobjoy microphone, to compere the
the "Fashion Parade" that was much like your Football Club
dress up. The "girls" all paraded/shimmied  toward the 
3 Lexton Judges, then a shortlist of 5 to decide the winner.
That's when DR DEATH tried to gain a lead, by displaying
both nipples (amongst a grey hairy chest), while SHAFTED
spun round on the floor like a "blowfly on it's last". DIMWIT
took out the title, and he & PEBBLES (for some reason?)
drank together. 
The main event saw the "boys" parading, & after the 
shortlist, PYRO came out the Clubhouse Leader, & she 
was up for a drink with the 3 Lexton Judges. Her & DIMWIT
then had the "Winner's Drink" ..... because all winners 
drink together, just to "consummate" the event.
It seems that JITTERBUG's fit-bit registered a fair amount
of 'extra activity' there for about 15 minutes, at one point.
We ate, drank, be'ed merry & danced all night to the 
excellent entertainment of Andy Pobjoy, & all the credit
to MOUNTIE & the team for a great night.
A fairly quiet trip home by usual standards, where (I think)
FOP actually kept his pants on!!

Next week's run, REAR ENTRY (reckon he'd be up to about
900 by now !!), from 'The Office', Miner's Tavern.

Tuesday, June 20, 2017

19 - 6 -'17      Run 1829     10 Sweeney St

Virgin Hare CRUTCHLESS' chance to star at the Run Set, as 
FOP welcomed LADY TRAMP, FASCINATOR's bro' Dr Nick &
welcome back to SHAFTED's bro' Gary.
CRUTCHLESS told us the run was over 5km, & that the 
drink-stop is "not here, but somewhere else". About 27 
rolled up - 18 "athletes" & 9 walkers. The run was set in pink
& white chalk, & flour in dobs. SS had donated a Hash T Shirt
to Juri, but after Juri peeled up a couple of layers & displayed
a Hash Shirt beneath, FOP quickly retrieved the donation, but 
then the Indian Giver quickly returned same.
On the run, FASCINATOR gave the step-daughter a few 
pointers, saying "don't tell the bastards anything", so we 
battled on thru' some of the unusual marks, being the opposite
direction, L shape & the word printed on the road, AFTER X..??
SHAFTED remarked, that "having bro' Gary on the run, he 
didn't want to lose any more brothers", & that's why 
BAD HEAD JOB was too scared to set another one !! 
The Drink-stop was at the Park on Nicholson St, & so , 
a short walk up the hill to the "Circle".
FOP dealt out the welcome drinks to LADY TRAMP & bro's
Gary & Dr Nick, & as you know, all Dr's drink together ..........
front & centre DR ROWDY. Welcome's back also to the 
intrepid WA & NT travellers, MASTABAIT, SPENCER HOCKING
FASCINATOR rose to screw CRUTCHLESS' Virgin Run, saying
that it was very successful, confusing the old farts with marks
going every which way. He said how NUMMY on the run, had
missed her chance of some mattress action - 3 or 4 of them
stacked in the dumpster. He gave the run the FASCINATion
level of 7.9, & then we heard again the S.h.i.t.t.y trail - a few 
more choristers joining the chant each week. 
Sergeant SPENCE gave his first charge to the "kickee's out" 
or the "kickee out's" of the MCG Corporate Box, HALF A BAR
& DUMB & DUMBER, & as all Melbourne Supporter's drink
together, out you come SS.
QUICK DICK & DUMBER had a drink for their fronting up to the 
women's PMT Hash, & getting in some practise for the 
Black Tie Night cross-dress.
SS & Juri had a drink for Hash Gear, then a rebound for 
SPENCE after charging FANG for no gear, when FANG had 
some on beneath all the time.
QUICK DICK had heard that MASTABAIT took his Teddy Bear
PJ's on the trip, to wear in the swag, & when the weather heated
up, he'd cut the legs short, but MASTABAIT took a 2nd, this 
time from NORMAL, when he said that BAIT doesn't wear PJ's
when they're together. 
NORMAL charged HALF A BAR for the day he invited NORMAL
& Jill out to cut some firewood, & not once did he take the 
chain-saw out of Jill's hand.
HALF A BAR & Juri drank up for wearing work wear - 
HALF A BAR for PIMP's horse logos, & Juri for St Pat's (Father
Who this time ??).
GLIDER charged SPENCE for his 'Phone a Friend' appearance
on Millionaire, then Juri had another one for not knowing how to
"Give Us An A".
PEBBLES thought it was piss weak of SHAFFY, that the bro's 
weren't aware of Hash Gear .... give 'em a drink anyway !!
ROWDY charged SHAFFY & bro Gary, for having another bro 
that had his 'person' out most at /or after Hash.
Another one for LOIS LANE. MOUNTIE charged LADY TRAMP 
after she had sat on a swing saying, "I haven't been a swinger
for years", then Juri (again) for his lame attempt at comedy
with the Doctor gag & his punchline "Reptile Dysfunction".
That prompted a new Christening ..... front & centre Juri ......
enjoy the sex & running, ..... arise.....  DIM WIT.
CRUTCHLESS, SPENCE & DIM WIT were next charges for
wrong spelling on Logos.
Big Events 'person' MOUNTIE announced proceedings about
next week's Mystery Bus & the cross-dressing there-of, & then
HEAD HUNTER & QUICK DICK took a drink, after she 
announced that, "after seeing him with all that make-up on,
I'll never sleep (?) with him again".

Next week, Mystery Bus Trip  - City Oval Pub.

Oh, & 1829 ? - should be a drink for HEAD HUNTER
QUICK DICK for Norway's "Battle of the Square" that became
the beginning of their National Day.

Tuesday, June 13, 2017

12 - 6 -'17     Run 1828      12 Devon St.,

MOUNTIE's Republican Run from home - venue especially
chosen to celebrate Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth's birthday.
We made the quorom of 14, added to by 1, by the 'late'
6 super athletes headed off from the North West, toward 
the 'fabulous East', but remained in the North, not going
any closer than Doveton St. A small detour (at the direction
of HEAD HUNTER), was to check on the supposedly sick
QUICK DICK at home, but it seemed that he was only
watching the replay. The run was obviously set by an 
athlete, with a glaring lack of Halts - they always help the 
palpitations of us Older Farts. Back at Devon Street for the 
Drink-Stop, we entered via the 'rear entry' - where was he
tonight, at the Office again ??).
At the circle, FOP announced the Republican Run, set by 
Ballarat's Biggest (little) Republican MOUNTIE, to celebrate
the Queen's Birthday on April 21st.
Sniffyc*nt Runs - FASCINATOR 50, & HER VAGESTY 69,
woo hoo!! & that got HEAD HUNTER's song, 
"The boys went down down ......."
Screw, FASCINATOR, was there for the 2nd week in 
succession, & was talking about a 'contro - versy' or should
that be 'controv - ersy?' He's given away the idea of the 
'screw epistle' on the mobile phone - he said "only did
that once", & although he didn't run, he'd heard that it was 
very good, & gave it a 7.1 score, then came the "S.h.i.t.t.y
T.r.a.i.l" song - is your songbook on the Internet 
Stand in, Stand in, Stand in, Stand in Sergeant NORMAL's
1st charge was for "Captain Pneumonia" himself, 
SPARTACUS - 1st time he's been seen in long pants, let
alone at Hash. NORMAL then wanted to know just how good
MOUNTIE really was, having all the trophies about the place, 
but of course, it's only the tip of the iceberg. He went on to 
charge HEAD HUNTER for getting 'permanent residency' -
"How the f*ck did we let that happen?" 
FANG had a drink for not wearing Hash Gear & got the
'Not Not Not, Bad Bad Bad, Down Down song.
HER VAG and D&C wore their tightest leather tights, & 
at least VAG was able to drink, but of course, NORMAL had
to drink for D&C
MOUNTIE charged HEAD HUNTER for having to go & knock
up QUICK DICK on the run, then THE BILL reminded 
MOUNTIE of the 666 run from years back, running through 
the Cemetery, & the body, the coffin etc.
MOUNTIE had HEAD HUNTER drink up, for starting to sound
like PLUCKA (?), then MOUNTIE darted off to the kitchen,
to rescue 'the veg food' from the oven.
FANG was charged for the time years ago, when he was cut 
short, had nowhere to go, & had to take a dump on the front 
lawn of the venue, then MOUNTIE charged PUSBUCKET for
peeing over the verandah, but of the wrong house.
DUMBER's bar heaters went out again, & we thought, 
"where's f**kin' Tommy f**kin' HALF A BAR to get the f**kin'
things goin' again" like last week, but it was only THE BILL
standing on the plug. Anyway, at the time, according to the
texts & photos, HALF A BAR was busy being thrown out of 
the Corporate Box at the MCG, with DR DEATH & DUMBER.
BHD had a 2nd freebie for The Courier photo about the 
Avenue tree planting, & bloody HEAD HUNTER made the
song up for that one !!
NORMAL charged himself & proceeded to go through his
Marathon history ( blah, blah, are we there yet??), & told us,
that after 1 of the runs (tell us again NORMAL - how many?),
he'd tipped a couple of stubbies in quickly, only to start 
throwing up in the garden, outside of a restaurant window.
Trouble was, people were "fain daining" just inside the
'gold fish bowl'.
Last charge was for HEAD HUNTER by FANG. "Did you see
how long she took to push the stubby holder onto that can?"
"How long would she take with a condom?"

Next week's run - FASCINATOR ( or CRUTCHLESS).
To be informed.

Thumbs up to MOUNTIE for the great Chilli Con Carne,
the Meatballs & the Carrot Cake, & let's not forget the
'pot stirrer & heater up' there-of, PUSBUCKET.
Inside, sitting at the table, there's evidence on the wall of the 
'Worship of the East'. A large wall hanging emblazened with
the words, Warrenheip, Dunnstown, Bungaree & Parwan, but
where is Llandeilo, Bradshaw & Cocksbill Siding? O.S maybe?

Monday, June 5, 2017

5 - 6 -'17    Run 1827   103 Cuthbert's Rd.

NUM NUM's run with Co-Hare DUMB & DUMBER in tow, & 
the Hash 25. The kitchen floor needed some treatment from
the Victa, with all the grass transported in underfoot.
15 Super Athletes, 1/2 Doz Walkers & a couple of Bar Flys
(that went nowhere).
The Co-Hare mentioned the trail is marked "mainly on the
footpath except where it isn't", & eluded to a short 'cross
of trail' - he's done 1000+ runs this guy & set how many ??
It was a fairly short run, around 4km, that finished with the
drink-stop at the On After.
At the circle, FOP had welcomes back for the 'short term
Northern Territorian' SILIC, then FANG, PIMP, LOIS LANE,
REAR ENTRY, loose screw FASCINATOR, & special mention
to GLIDER battling his treatment.
DUMBER's bar heaters went on the blink - enter "f**kin'
Tommy f**kin' HALF A BAR to f**kin' get the f**kin things
goin' again".
FASCINATOR said there was trouble when he reached
Buckinghuge Palace last month, after he'd announced
that he was there to screw HER VAGESTY.
Screwing NUMMY, he mentioned a good short run, back
in doors before the rain, but some confusing trail marked,
going both directions, & he had no idea about the 
(HHC)uthbert sign. He gave it a 6.45 score - marked down
because of the heater problem & only 1/2 the party lights
were on. When he Googled 'NUM NUM', he found a 
'lovely white flower that's found in Kenya, & is nice to eat'.
Stand-in, Stand-in, Stand-in Sergeant, PRECIOUS, began
with the sniffyc*nts of 1827 - the year of Beethoven's
death, so the muso's charge went to HEAD JOB
PEBBLES (Hash Horn) & 'all muso's drink together'.
The Right-Wing Nuts HALF A BAR & REAR ENTRY had
a drink to celebrate the unveiling of Tony Abbott's bust,
& the shiny head gave HEAD JOB another freeby.
GLIDER charged the 'Landline TV Celeb' HALF A BAR,
for getting thru' his segment without saying f**k once
on camera, then HALF A BAR had a 2nd when SILIC
charged him for the Production Crew needing at least
5 days to edit the tape.
ROWDY charged his No1 patient SILIC, for coming home
looking like shit, after a month spent in the Darwin sun.
DAZED & CONFUSED was dazed & confused, after 
finding out that DR DEATH could actually have a drink
at 8 am. 
Birthday drinks were had by DUMBER for his Aunt's
90th, D & C for Dad's 90th, & MOUNTIE for becoming
a Great Aunt.
PIMP took a drink, that should've been for CRUTCHLESS,
when she was asked, "Where does his name come from?"
LOIS LANE, living just round the corner, got lost, even tho'
she knew how to get back to the drink-stop.
DR DEATH charged DR ROWDY (for whatever !!), then
both had a drink, because 'all Doctors drink together'.
photo at Taco Bill's a month ago, eating tacos with 
knives & forks - he must have been on FaKebook
in the UK. 
FOP got in a plug for the Black Tie Mystery Bus in
3 weeks - said "maybe boys dress as girls & vice versa,
but if it was up to me it'd be pants off" - who would've
ever guessed that??
Big thanks to NUMMY for her kitchen endeavours - 
pasta, rice, bol, casserole, quiche, salad, and ice cream
& fruit salad.

Next week - Committee Run from MOUNTIE's place,
Devon St (especially there to celebrate Queen Elizabeth's
Birthday !!) - or will it revert to The Lakeview?