Sharon Olsen

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RUN #2058, 25 OCTOBER 2021

HARE: PRESCIOUS – LOCATION: LAKE WENDOUREE MCDONALDS BANDSTAND ROTUNDA – ON AFTER: MARKET HOTEL

30 Hashers turned up and signed the book this week. While there was some confusion as to which rotunda at the lake was the meeting place, we all managed to find our way. About 13 runners followed the 3km trail that headed north around the lake into Victoria Park and returned back to the lake again to the drink stop at the floral clock.

Hash Circle in the McDonalds Bandstand Rotunda began with a cake for Mrs D’s 50th Birthday, complete with candles and sparklers.  Hashy Birthday 

Mountie, then stepped up to shag the run and began with a joke about Precious, an attractive Nun and a bus driver.  His One Skin  Scores were then given for the run: Venue -10 (on after too far from the run), Terrain -5 (no hills), Marking 10, Drink Stop 5, Groovy Factor 10 (for bringing his sack), but after comments from Mrs D this was changed to -10 for being a Mumma’s Boy, giving a total of -10 out of 100.  Shitty Trail 

After announcing that there were no sniffy runs this week, Spence went on to mention that Plucka was on 323, SS was on 1788, Spencer was on 1278 and NBCL was on 78.  Throw a leg 

Shafted then adjusted Mrs D’s 50th cake to celebrate Fascinator turning 58 this week and made mention that as a birthday present, his wife also retired this week. There was also mention of BP looking good after almost being thrown in the fire last week.  Twenty Toes 

Precious then began handing out gifts from his sack in celebration of what was supposed to be Christmas in July, then August, then October. Fascinator received a body part enlarger and BP was gifted with a weed lava lamp. Num Num then charged Dumb for splurting at her 3 times today. The splash of chlorine took the colour from her hair and skin.  He’s the meanest  Num Num was gifted with a shark shaped laser pointer that she enjoyed way too much over the remainder of the evening.

Lois Lane charged Pauline because they wanted to receive something from the sack too. Lois is one run away from being 969 and Pauline was charged for wanting her to reach this milestone so that they can go either way, and now they have to wait until next week. I don’t know what gift they received from the sack. SS was then charged for something that I missed and QD was charged for reminiscing about an old run from the trout farm that currently has its main pond completely empty of fish and water. BHD charged Plucka for coming without the horn and The Bill was charged for his appearance in the newspaper last weekend.  They ought to be 

Shafted charged Num Num for shining her laser pointer and mentioned that if you shine it in a camel’s eye it will kick you, but shining it on a camel toe is OK. The Bill’s gift was an Andy Warhol calendar and Num Num was recharged for failing to drink her last charge.  Why are we waiting 

Moving on to charges from the run, Mountie charged Juz Cum for disappearing into the kiddy’s playground, when that is Spencer’s job and Spencer was charged for the association with the arrest following a car chase today that finished in Spencer St. D&C charged Squizzy for not wearing any hash gear and Lois charged Bent Nose for something about a bike being stolen in the bush.  Mrs Murphy 

Further gifts from Precious’s sack: Juz Cum received a Spice Girls CD, Spencer received a Mission Impossible Game Cartridge and Dumb was very happy to receive a Beatles CD, Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band, one of his favourites. Further Charges went to Bent Nose for fighting with the high pressure washer hose and the hose won. Charges also went to QD, Big Dog and BHD for something???  Do Your Balls Hang Low 

A call was then made to let Nutcracker know if you intend to come to the Mitiamo weekend (5th -7th November) as they need numbers for planning – see separate post/email for further details.

We then moved on to next week’s run. Hare will be Shafted. This pre Melbourne Cup event will be held at the Den where people were encouraged to wear their silks, racing gear or fascinators. Shafted will be offering Melbourne Cup sweeps (bring extra cash) and pizza’s will be provided for dinner.

Next Week’s Run – Monday 1 November 2021 - Pre Melbourne Cup Event - Hare: Shafted – Location: The Den

 

Bob Maika

2h0 iOctobf44onfler arulfti 10:40u1  · 

RUN #2057, 18 OCTOBER 2021

HARE: JUZ CUM

LOCATION: NUGGETY DAM

DISCLAIMER – I don’t vouch for the accuracy of this blog given I was ‘lured’ into it…… but then, why spoil good stories with facts!!

26 hashers rocked up the Nuggety Dam where Juz Cum had set-up the On On with aid from Spartacus and Pus Bucket and Mountie who had got a fire going……. tip, don’t f=]+k with a bloke’s fire!! Some concerns for Big Dog’s shinny flash black car picking its way over 4WD tracks.

Run brief – approx. 4.6km run, marked in yellow, left and right (Rowdy did you get it?). Walkers, “just go for a walk around the dam!”……. WTF?? We want ‘walkers rights’.

Hash Circle – Welcomes back, Penny Farthing and Precious. “Get a life”.

MOOT

Mountie commenced shagging the run when she cracked a joke about Juz Cum going to Melbourne to get double waxed.

Venue 22, Terrain 20, Markings (lack of) -22, DS 10, Groovy Factor ?

Mountie reckoned the groovy factor scored highly as Rowdy flashed his schlong whilst ‘relieving’ himself in some ‘bush’. “Shitty trail”.

Sniffy Runs – Spencer Hocking got Juz Cum for one of his palindromic equations 169 “Take it up the arse”. Pauline 323 and Juz Cum 77. “She’s the meanest”. Precious 175, Big Dog 49. “His one skin hangs down to his two skin”.

Sergeant charges:

Rowdy fined SS and Penny Farthing for his run at 5 Ways where they were the only two to book a seat at the On-After at the Top Eureka and didn’t turn up. So Rowdy milked this charge for all he could claiming he was out of pocket for the two empty seats trying to curry sympathy……. and got none!! “Give us an A”. Shafted (holding a ‘twig’ – we all know how visual jokes go down) charged BP, who wasn’t in attendance, you’ll do Bentnose, likening the twig to body image these days. “Build a bonfire”. Mountie charged Juz Cum who bought a new car and not long after getting the car took it back to the dealer claiming there was something wrong with the car. It works fine during the day, but won’t go at night time. When the mechanic asked JC to describe what she does she said “during the day I put it in ‘D’ for DAY and it goes fine. At night I put in ‘N’ for NIGHT and it won’t move”?? Mrs D made some comment that this joke was told yesterday at Ladies Hash and JC still doesn’t get it?? “No no no, bad bad bad”. Big Dog charged for parking his flash car facing up a steep, rutted 4WD track ready for a quick exit. Someone quipped “that’s okay Nutcracker and D & C could help Big Dog with their snatch strap”. “She’s a Harriette”. Criss Cross said something?? Mountie charged Nutcracker and D&C for outsider trading i.e. going to Melbourne to get their Brazilians done (double waxed). “There’s a game called 20 toes”. Spencer Hocking charged Dim wit for being out of the circle and asked him for one of his ‘lame’ jokes. Dim Wit – What do Mexicans say to their chickens – “Oh lay”. Spencer compelled to tell his own ‘lame’ joke, “Why didn’t the toilet paper cross the road? It got caught in the crack”!! Dim subjected all to a second ‘lame’ Mexican joke, “What do you call a Mexican without a car? Car loss!! “Asshole, asshole, a soldier I will be”. D&C was asked how she wanted to be addressed by i.e. Dazed and Confused or D&C. “D&C”! Mrs D added but she wants the A N D not the &. Mrs D was charged for wearing two bras. Some debate whether she should wear more bras or less??” “Do you tits hang low”. Mrs D charged for turning 50 later in the week, along with other birthday boys Precious and Big Dog. “Hashy birthday”.

The on-after BBQ turned into chicken, salad and baked (in the fire) potatoes due to BBQ being AWOL. If you need the hash BBQ for your run you need to give Fascinator a week’s notice as he is a real estate agent and we all know how slowly they work, as he keeps it at Learmonth.

Pauline (2IC Haberdasher – does Lois Lane know you are a making haberdasher announcements without her?) ‘modelled’ hash shorts (bloody good looking model too) complete with hash foot on the bum. Sizes XS, M, L, XL, XXL, XXXL. Cost $30 and Just Cum modelled leggings with the hash feet on them. Cost $55 and the leggings are available in full length and ¾ length. More details will be sent out by email and orders will be taken from next week.

Let Nutcracker know if you plan to attend the Mitiamo hash weekend, 5 - 7th November.

Next week’s run is listed as Mrs D’s, however Mrs D stepped in to do a run during lockdown so this remains TBA.

 

Sharon Olsen

Admin

  · 141 Octoi0beuSr atti l61s7h:00l7d  · 

RUN #2056, 11 OCTOBER 2021

HARE: DIM WIT – LOCATION: MICHAEL UNWIN WINERY

32 Hashers turned up and signed the book this week. While several fires at the winery kept the bar flies warm and the BBQ was being cooked, the rest of us took off on what was touted as an approximately 4km trail around the local paddocks (that was actually less than 2km long). Everyone seemed to run a 4km PB this week!

Hash Circle began Rowdy charging Big Dog for leaving the Hash plates and cutlery in his shed. A new set was purchased while we could not locate the old set and we now have 2 sets.  No No No 

Mountie, then stepped up to shag the run and began with a joke about Dim Wit, his smarter brother and the competitive sale of their ducks that finished with a clever punchline that went something like getting a f#@k for a duck, a duck for a f#@k, a truck killed the duck and getting paid for a f#@ked up duck . Scores were then given for the run: Venue 20, Terrain 2, Marking -5 (arrows were too close to the HH), Drink Stop 25, Groovy Factor 18, giving a total of 60 out of 100.  Shitty Trail 

Following from the sniffy runs last week, The Bill (1700 runs) and Pebbles (600 runs) were then charged to drink out of their new commemorative pewter mugs  20 Toes  and Pebbles received his shirt from last week. Shafted, as Sergeant, then charged our virgin runner, Simon (Dim Wit’s son-in-law) who was subjected to the usual “who made you come?” that he answered with his wife’s name Laura saying that she was on her way down.  You’re stupid 

Mrs D then charged Dim Wit for helping the elderly with his arrow placement close to the checks. Rowdy stopped for a pee on trail and Juz Cum was charged for asking what’s Mountie doing?  They ought to be 

Teflon then charged Dim Wit for setting up the hash circle in front of a bunch of fans, while referring to the cold breeze that appeared to be coming from the wind farm in the distance. Mrs D charged D&C for her identifiable voice while she didn’t have her glasses on and Dim Wit charged Mountie for playing golf instead of being at the winery with her sisters over the weekend.  She’s the meanest  Rowdy then charged Lois and Pauline for their premature run last week.  Build a bonfire 

Spencer charged Dim Wit and Half-A-Bar for not knowing what was special about today’s date 11/10/21 where 11 + 10 = 21. Simon was charged for his first run and SS was also charged.  Soldier Song  The GM’s were charged for something I didn’t catch and Fang charged Half-a-bar for the sheep on trail.  Mrs Murphy  Teflon then charged Plucka for being on TV last night, (there was a Hey Hey it’s Saturday special on TV) and Spence charged Bent for his reminder to do sniffy runs.  She’s a Harriette 

Sniffy runs of mention went to Dim Wit on 141, Simon on 1, BP on 1250, Nutcracker on 202, and Big Dog on 101. NBCL was then charged for a similar hair cut to Big Dog and it was then that Dim Wit announced that Laura was coming (she was bringing the salads for dinner). Thanks Laura, the salads were good. Mrs D then charged Dim Wit for the charges lasting longer than the run.  Give us a “A”   His One Skin 

To finish up Dim Wit was called upon for a joke. What do you call a man with no children who tells Dad jokes? – A faux pas 

We then moved on to next week’s run. Hare will be Juz Cum. Details and location TBA. The BBQ was served, and wine was available for tasting and purchases throughout the evening.

Next Week’s Run – Monday 18 October 2021, Hare: Juz Cum – Location: TBA