Monday, December 28, 2009

Deep Heats Birthday Run - 4th January 2010

Directions from the Deepmeister!
  1. Head to Elaine.
  2. Turn right before the railway line at the fire shed.
  3. Travel approximately 6 km to St Sava Monastery (on the right) and follow the road around to the left.
  4. Travel 2-3 km to a T intersection.
  5. Turn left into Bamganie Rd.
  6. Go past the water tanks, Doyles Rd and Boundary Rd (both on the left) another 2 km.
  7. STOP at the crossroad (Deep is very strong on this particular point!)
  8. Proceed straight through another 3 km
  9. Bamganie Forest is on the left, enter there.
A map for the visual

As usual, click on the map to enlarge it.

Monday, December 21, 2009

FOPs Run - 28th December 2009

The run for losers who don't have flash beach houses at Anglesea, Port Arlington or Lorne!

On-On and On-After at the palatial 11 Park St Ballarat/Newington/Redan. Look at the map.

Click on the map to enlarge!

Monday, December 14, 2009

CHRISTMAS RUN - 21st December 2009

Come and see what other treats are available at the Christmas Run! Thankfully the grand master has decided not to run this big run from any of the local carparks and we will be starting at the very grand 111 Webster St (the one near the lake ddddaaahhhlllings).

Friday, December 11, 2009

14th December - Remote

Best as I can tell this is Monday's run! Can someone drop me an email if I am wrong? Click on the map to enlarge.

Monday, November 30, 2009

7th December 2009 - Bad Hair Day!

BHD's hairy arse will be available for viewing at the Old Colonist's Club at 6.30! His hairy head was available for viewing in 1972.

Monday, November 23, 2009

Lois Lane's Run 30th November

A map for your perusal people...
Do I need to remind you to click on the map to make it bigger?

Monday, November 16, 2009

Rear Entry and Silic - 23 November 2009

From the dunny at Greenies.

Follow this map to see it.

Click on the map to make it bigger!

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

Half a Bar and Half a Bra - 16 Nov 2009

Map to the Morrison's abode:

Remember, click on the map to make it bigger.

Head out on the Midland Hwy from Buninyong towards Geelong. At Elaine, take the 1st turn past the shops and houses (signposted to Morrisons). Take the 1st turn to the right. Take a left at the T intersection following the sealed road. 300m before the fire shed turn left into Tableland rd or Forest Rd (Tommy says the first, Goggle Maps says the second) Take the next right then the next left.

225 Dolly's Creek Rd.

Monday, October 26, 2009

2 November 2009

Melbourne Cup Run, East Point Football Clubroom, Eastern Oval. Enter off Scotts Pde.

Sunday, October 25, 2009

26th October

That is one handsome loin cloth. Maybe our Spartacus will be similarly attired. Come and see at the Battlers Tavern, 10 Victoria St Bakery Hill.

Monday, October 12, 2009

Next week's run - 19th October 2009

To avoid any confusion, here is a map of where you all need to come for my run! Click on the map to make it bigger!

Wednesday, October 7, 2009

Run Monday 12th October

The bunnies would love to see you at the Park Hotel, 1615 Sturt St.

Thursday, September 24, 2009

Yar Me Hearties

It be speak like a pirate run this mond'y comin'. Ye best come with ye finest wench and rum. Globe Hotel, corner of Rubicon and Skipton St (diagonally opposite Eclipse Ford).

Wednesday, July 29, 2009


Hello all, I need a volunteer for "Hash Flash" on next Monday's run (03/08/09).
On On
Moose Burger

Friday, May 22, 2009

Monday's Run

Jade Inn, 12 Sturt St, Ballarat

$20 for meal

Plenty of food

4 curries (3meat & 1 veg)



BYO (no charge for corkage)

Wednesday, May 20, 2009



Wednesday, May 13, 2009

Run 1401 Num Num 18 May 09 UPDATE


Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Haberdasher's Memo

See Lois Lane to order the new Ballarat Hash rain jacket!

Monday, April 20, 2009

Run 1397 Black N Bling Da Boyz 20Apr2009

2 drink stops, we were happy Harriers!
Rocky the sausage master! Too bad the plates cooked too.

Screwing Da Boyz for a fine run - did you call them Poodles? Dumb must have eaten some of those special cookies...

Run 1397 Black & Bling by Da Boyz 20Apr2009

So this is lube!
Is that all you got???

It's ok Half A Bar, you don't have to use all 5 inches to make it work! Half that will do.

Show 'em how it's done Drop! (be careful what you ask for!)

I went down for that? Where's the 'effing coin?

Ooooh, Heavy likes them tart!

Monday, April 13, 2009

Run 1396 - Silic - Queen's Head - Easter Run

These tarts were happy with the walk!

Hey Silic - what was that joke about again?

All I remember is "Rowdy needs to stop or he'll go blind" Is that what "rabbiting on" means?

Shafted gets the joke of the night award for telling Half A Bar that he's a small bore (yes - I spelled it right).

Run 1396 - SILIC - Queen's Head - Easter Run!

Some bunny's upset that he wasted all that flour!

Nice hare Silic!

Follow your Doctor's advice but don't follow your Doctor!

We're at the drink stop already?

Where's the ice Silic?

Thursday, April 9, 2009

Our new Grand Master...

Congratulations to our new Grand Master...Silic!

"Shortcutters Hash - Gone to the dogs"

Monday, March 30, 2009

Run 1394 Midnight Special Run

Hi Everyone

This was the last run of the Super year & it was good to see Drambuie & Doggy Bag back on deck to set a great run to pay tribute to Drambuie's mate Midnight.
We were lucky no-one else joined Midnight in Hash heaven when Drambuie tried to blow us all up whilst lighting the BBQ. Someone should speak to the GM about buying a new BBQ. Oh dear that won't be me after next week...

The run was so well set that the walkers (not the strollers!) were also able to keep up & join in the run. That's a pretty good effort when setting trail.

We welcomed back a few runners this week. Out the Front, Drambuie, Doggy Bag, The Bill, Rocky, Normal, The Barb & the dummy spitter of the year Mastabait.

Our significant runners were simultaneous cummers this week. Rocky & Heavy on 797.

Don't forget to put your clocks forward an hour on Saturday night. I'd hate you to turn up an hour early for the AGM.

Don't forget next weeks run is the AGM & to go to the BUNCH of Grapes on Pleasant St. $20 will get you a meal, a giveaway, raffle tickets (which we will actually draw), a record of the Super year that was plus great company.


Sunday, March 29, 2009

2008-2009 Award Winners

Spectacle of the Year - Squizzy
Tight Arse of the Year - Bubba
Piss Pot of the Year - Donuts
Black Kettle Award - Dribbles n' Shoots
Shit House Run of the Year - Beer Phuck
Shit Hot Run of the Year - Num Num and Dumb and Dumber
Ah-So Green Sock Award - Rowdy
Dummy Spitters of the Year - Cleavage, The Bill, Half a Bar, Rowdy and Masta Bait.

Monday, March 16, 2009

Run 1392 Buningyong Golf Club

Hi Everyone

Thanks Penny Farthing for another great run & meal. Ok so it wasn't 12kms & flat as she stated, maybe a bit shorter & hillier but challenging none the less.

There was plenty of meat & a huge salad. Can't ask for more than that.

We welcomed back the newly weds Jethro & Bear Box, who was rechristened Sloppy Box for the night, & then they were both re-rechristened some other medical name which eludes me at the moment.

The only significant run was D & D - 6 ate 9. (689 for the slow ones).

Thank you to Moose Burger for stepping in as Grog Master & Easy Ride as Choir Master. For a new comer Easy Ride got all the names correct which is more than I can say for some of the regulars. Not to mention any names Rear Entry.

Just as the night was winding up Rowdy stepped in with a christening. Pos has been christened Pretty Simple.

Good news. I just rang BP in Un Zud & I got to speak to Mastabait. Yep, he is over his dummy spit & speaking to us again.
Crock related a story about a local who told them his wife was over in Melbourne on a shopping holiday. He said while she is away he is going to be painting his dick. Crock said they were mortified & were too scared to ask what that involved until they learnt how to speak Un Zud & realised he was painting his DECK!!

Our thoughts go out to Drambui & Doggy Bag & hope they recover soon from their injuries.

Next weeks run is the big one. The Awards Night at Porticos. Don't forget to frock up in something formal.

On On
Lois Lane

Sunday, March 15, 2009

Run 1391 Nuggety Dam

Hi Everyone

Has Hash gone to the dogs or what. I think there were more dogs than runners - and no I didn't include the tarts in that count!!

You would think with all those tracker noses we wouldn't have lost some of the tarts on the 'walkies'
Hoppi, Dropkick, Moose Burger & 1/2 a Bra managed to lose their way & it took a many ales to console their husbands while everyone else was out looking for them...

Welcome back Phuk Wit Phil who did a great job standing in as Choir Master.

Significant runs - Mountie 747 & 1/2Bar 858.

Pus Bucket was given a Super Runner VB bottle Hash style in recognition of his Hash 17 runs.

I took a car load down to D & E's AGM on Wednesday night. PE, Easy Ride, 1/2 Bar & Bra made the trip & it was one of the better AGM's I've been to.
The run was great, meal was fantastic & the circle was a lot of fun.
Now don't ask me who the new GM is as I can't remember but we raised more money for the bushfire appeal. They had a couple of members who lost houses.

This weeks run is at Buninyong Golf House & it will be a BBQ.

On On
Lois Lane

Tuesday, March 3, 2009

Run 1390 Bent Nose 1000th Run

Hi Everyone

Congratulations to Bent Nose on achieving 1000th runs. Bent is the first inaugural runner of our hash to reach 1000 runs.
He originally hailed from Western Suburbs where he was called Morton, ran 380 runs and served a year as their GM.

How good was it to have so many visitors come to Ballarat to help celebrate the occasion. They almost outnumbered our runners.
I thought they must have held Bent in high esteem but I think they just wanted pay back from all those years of being roasted by our Prince of Pomposity.

We welcomed back Spider & welcomed a new runner. What was his name? Gay something..

We had 2 significant runners: Drop Kick 333 & Beer Phuk 33.

Whilst the runners were enjoying the run, Normal spent his time 'teasing' everyone with drink stop vehicle. This triggered a chain of events that, whilst no malice was intended, got out of hand.
Just shows that there is a fine line between funny & other peoples perception of funny.

Bent was suitably roasted & well done to Mrs D who did a great job as Sgt. Always a hard thing to do when visitors are involved.

Also, thank you to Mrs D for manning the bar all night & ably assisted by BP.

I have published the Awards Night flyer so start organising your cute little 'number' to wear.

Next weeks run is at Nuggety Dam & the On After is at the Top Eureka

On On
Lois Lane

Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Run 1389 National Hotel, Clunes

Hi Everyone

We had a nice, sociable night at the National Hotel under the watchful eye of an ex Hasher- Dazza - from Broken Hill.

Dazza the adopted Chinaman donated pizza, a lovely Superwoman glass & even decorated the place with some old Chrissy decorations to add to the atmosphere of the night.

Significant runners were: The Bill 1213, SS 1234, Bent Nose 999 & Dumb & Dumber 686.

Don't forget the big one next week. No...I haven't been peeking, I mean Bent Noses 1000th run at Donegan's Farm in Gordon.

There will be some visitors from other Hashes so I don't expect we will get away on time (do we ever!).
You will be able to buy your drinks from the Hash Bar we will have running. Prices will be cheap cheap cheap.

Hope to see lots of you there to give Bent Nose a roasting such as he has given many others in his time

On On
Lois Lane

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Run 1388 Haddon Gun Club

Hi Everyone

Another run down & 8 to go!!! but who's counting.

We welcomed back Penny Farthing Kia Ora e hoa. Hope you enjoyed your holiday in En Zud. Peter (Spencers next door neighbour) & Cleaverage & Heavy.

Significant runs: Mastabait 1050, Carmilla 55 & Chris Cross 609.

Congratulations to Bear Box & Jethro on their wedding this weekend & a special conrats to Moose Burger who announced she is on the way to becoming an Aussie citizen.

From all accounts the run was good. A bit straggly & mostly on the tarmac - wasn't it a bush run!! Typical male - can never find the right spots amongst the bush.
Drink stop was great. Lots of drinks for everyone.

Even had some lights this time. Gets a bit boring doing it with the lights off all the time.

Thanks Donuts for giving us all those little pink things. I'm sure they will come in handy.

I need the Awards to start coming back so I can get them engraved for this years fantastic awardees. Trouble is last years GM can't remember who he gave them to. Could the holders please take them down off your mantlepieces & give them to me. Ta

Next weeks run is Criss Crosses at the National Hotel, Fraser St, Clunes.

On On
Lois Lane

Monday, February 9, 2009

Red Dress Run

Hi all

What an appropriate night to hold the Red Dress Run. Gave us the opportunity to raise some money for the Bushfire Appeal.
Thanks to those who donated raffle prizes & to all of you who gave generously to buy a ticket. We raised $317. Thanks everyone.

On to Hash matters.

Welcome back to Little Evil. He looked pretty evil in the little number he was wearing as well.

I must also acknowledge the welcomes back to those on the Black Tie Night run.
Rocky, Out the Front, Dribbles & Shoots, Beer Phuk, Bubba & Spartacus.

SUPER RUNNERS. Yep we had 2 of them. Congrats to Normal on 700. Now, with The Bill 1212th we just randomly chose this run as he has spent the last 3 months backlogging his name in the book. i.e. he turns up but doesn't sign the book hoping to be overlooked. Sorry old chap but nothing gets past this GM!!

Significant runners - Carpet Burns 69 & Jethro 169.

Can you believe the screw actually gave praise to Silic for the run. The pack was spread for miles. Snags was stranded on his own at one point in that lovely dress (mind you it curbed his desire to go short cutting) & Squizzy managed to find more trail than everyone else as he was the last runner in by a long way. Mmmm he did arrive at the drink stop from the look out direction though!! Unfortunately Silic if you want brownie points for a shit hot run then you must please me as well & supply girl drinks!!

It was a very funny run. We discovered if we want to pick up out on the streets then we should wear those hot numbers we had on. I'm a bit worried about Gliders secret life though when those young boys yelled out the van window "you old, fat, poofter cunt" then gave him him a wave & headed up to the look out. Perhaps we shouldn't go there!!

There will also be a red dress run in Melbourne on Friday 27th February for those interested & D & E are having their AGM on Wed 11 March.

Next weeks run is Pebbles at the Haddon Gun Club. He assures me there will be lights this year.

On On
Lois Lane
PS when I work out how to down load the photos I will post more of the Black Tie Night.

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Australia Day Run 1385

Gidday Mates

Not sure how to say that with a kiwi excent!!

Good to see so many patriotic hashers decked out in various Australian clothing. The walkers looked like we were on a crusade with P.E carrying that great big flag.

We had a new runner. 'Pueder' from next door. He is most welcome back as I saw him trying to contribute money for the drink stop. I must let him know when my next run is.

I went with the palindromic theme for the significant runs for obvious reasons.
Road Runner 525, Excess Baggage 55 & Chris Cross 606.
Also had a couple of good roots, oops I mean square roots. Num Num & Easy Rider.

In keeping with the good ole Aussie volunteerism all the volunteer Australians were recognized & Spencer Hocking was awarded the 'Sam Kick-a Bitch' Unaustralian of the year award for cooking beef & not lamb on the spit.

Run was great, esp the run through 'pervert bush'. R.A did a good job with the weather & to top off the night we had fireworks.
Shame about the cricket though. I reckon that bat Carpet Burns found on the run without the handle was actually Ricky Pontings & the handle was stuck up his arse by one of the South Africans.
For all you early leavers, Mountie & Snags turned up late. We were pub stop number 12!!!
Snags put the bat on the spit so you can expect to be playing for our very own hash ashes when he has his cricket night in a few weeks.

Well, the social season is upon us. Don't forget the Black Tie trip on Monday. Bus leaves the City Oval at 6pm.
Also start looking that hot red number for the following week. It is the Red Dress Run & will be at Silics place 13 Howitt St.

On On
Lois Lane

Monday, January 19, 2009

Run 1384

Hi all

What a hot run that was. I guess only SS could get us tarts all hot & sweaty on a hash run. Even at 67yrs he still has it.

Maybe you young blokes could learn a thing or two from the old master. Esp given you all confessed you can't screw properly & are relying on the 'oldies' to bring along 'the tarts with tits'.

Welcome to the new runner Chris aka Weaner.

Welcomes back to Exit, Phukwit Phil, Cleavage, Tim & Allan.

Significant Runs: Carpet Burns - 66 That is suxty sux for those who can't speak UnZud.

New shoes: Weaner

Run/walk was pretty enjoyable, esp as SS managed to lead us through the local rubbish dump as well. He even turned up to the wet check in a car with a matching number plate. I guess that number plate would come in handy, esp when you take Vibes on a date.

Also, it's hard to believe that someone actually tried to 'out dumb' Dumb & Dumber but Sqizzy had a good go at it.
Lucky for him I was the only witness to this deft piece of driving as he tried to run his matchbox car over a ditch only to be stranded jammed on the top of the ditch. There they sat swaying from the front left wheel to the back right wheel. The two of us tried to push it back only to see Sqizzy disappear under a spray of dirt as the front wheel dug in but didn't grip.
At this point our savior arrived. Yep none other than D & D himself who promptly sat me & Num Num in the boot for weight - yeah thanks for that!! and pushed it out.
I'm not sure what was worse. Being stuck or being saved by Dumb & Dumber.
Anyway, lucky I was the only witness cos Squiz knew his secret would be safe with me.

Next weeks run is at Spencer Hockings place in Durham St. It is Australia Day theme & the On After is at same venue & is a Spit.
Usually a good Aussie party is a BBQ then a spit but this one is just the spit!!

Don't forget the Black Tie Night is coming up. Names & $30 to Bad Hair Day please.

On On
Lois Lane

Monday, January 12, 2009

Courtesy of Bent - Tips for understanding the GM

Click on the picture and it will become quite big enough for all of you blind pricks to read it.

Hoppi & Remotes' Darncing Night

Run 1383

Hi Everyone

I finally have my computer back so the blog is back on track, & what a night to start my New Year blog.

We had 2 new members who have transferred from Perth. Welcome P.E & Easy Ride.
Also 2 new runners. Dos (alias Adrian) & Chris
Welcome back Wylie & Carmilla

Only one significant run. Donuts 469.

There were 2 birthday down downs. 1/2 a Bar 60th & Dos.
Congratulations to 1/2 a Bra for putting up with 1/2 a Bar for 10 years of wedded bliss.

Well, what a big effort Hoppi & Remote put in for this run.
Great weather tick, short run tick, 2 drinks stops tick, great venue tick, awesome food tick, band tick, male stripper ##???. Ok I guess we can't have it all our own way.
Don't give up your day job 1/2 a Bar, I doubt Chippendales will be calling you anytime soon.

Did you tarts see the darnce 'hang abouts' drinking round the back of Silics van all night. They said they were creating a real aussie country darnce feel by getting drunk outside waiting for the ugly sheila's to leave alone. I thought that was really funny til I woke up this morning & realised I was the only one that got a ride home with one of them!!! Ouch.

Don't forget the Black Tie Night is coming up in a few weeks. You need to get your name & money to Bad hair Day.

Next weeks run. The hare is SS and it will be at 5 Ways & On After at Top Eureka.

On On
Lois Lane