Tuesday, November 28, 2017

27 - 11 -'17  Run 1851  Buninyong Pub. 


FASCINATOR's claytons 1851 ( the 1851 run you're having 
when you've already had it !!).
HER VAGESTY was stand-in for the Brisbane Conferencing 
FOP. She thought the Hare had "slipped the collar", but he 
arrived just in time to be 'very' late. Welcome to the 3 virgin 
runners, Jess, Ali & Lynn, & welcome back to Paul the Pom.
FASCINATOR spruiked the long-ish run, & the sniffyc*nts
of the G,G,G,Grandfather of CRUTCHLESS, Thomas Hiscock,
the Blacksmith, finding gold here in 1851.
1st Halt was at the 1854 Hiscock House close by the pub, & 
next we had DIMWIT & CRUTCHLESS standing right on top
of the bull ant's nest. We kept on towards the west, with a 
few hills & a tinge of bush, wondering if there was a bus 
pick-up, but came across the Gold Monument on the corner 
of Hiscock Gully Rd. The Hare was heard calling his own run
quite often by this stage. Another 1.5 km & we were at the
"1851 beer" Drink-stop, near the bridge in Winter St.
HER VAG becomes stand-in again, with the scribe having to
make the early departure. 
Apparently ........ 
PEBBLES was there to screw FASCINATOR (couldn't screw
himself, 'cos things weren't long enough !!) with a fascination
level of 7 out of 8.
Stand-in Sergeant PRECIOUS had charges for the early 
departed BHD, SILIC et al.
PLUCKA was charged for ensuring that there be erections &
mounting at her run next week. (?)
Charge for NORMAL for walking back & forth looking for the 
Drink-stop, & FASCINATOR for the confusing instructions.
Obviously PRECIOUS is too used to water & can't handle the 
beer - becoming a lippy smart-arse & swearing, with calls 
from the circle "not half obvious that he's off the water !!"
MOUNTIE copped a charge for ruining DONUTS' shed carpet,
spilling the red wine lastweek, & DONUTS for not burning 
"the witch" MOUNTIE on the great bonfire.
Finally, a christening. Lynn (being a His - cock descendant
&) on her 1st Hash outing, after the "sex & running & a 
smidgeon of religion" etc ....... arise HER FANNY.

Next weeks' run - what Number now? Hare PLUCKA & 6pm
start for 6.23 bus (?). Meet at Canons on Eureka, M.A.D.E.
carpark, off Stawell St. $20 for run, t shirt, battle & BBQ.
Bring a towel & chair.

Monday, November 20, 2017

20 - 11 - '17   Run 1851   State Forest Rd.

DONUTS' usual bush run & On After at home, that had 30+ 
turn up. 1 stubby en route was enough for 'Ma Draver' to sail
straight thru' the intersection at bitumen's end, to find some 
old rain soaked run markers pinned to trees, sending us 
another 5km into the Enfield Forest. We eventually 
back-tracked to find GLIDER & HALF A BAR  guarding the 
Drink-stop, & proceeded to settle the dust with them. 
No idea of what the run/walk was like, but at least it was 
thru' the bush, in great weather & obviously kept runners & 
walkers pretty well together. PLUCKA & FASCINATOR were 
impressive, sorting out the traffic jam as we left the On On, 
for DONUTS' place. How did THE BILL get to drive 'Kermit'
all that distance on the gravel?
At the circle, FOP 1st called out all the Red Dress Runners,
for a drink on account of the great $650+ collection for the 
Soup Bus.          ..... "They are bastards" .....
Welcomes back to BEERFUCK, PAULINE & PIMP
FASCINATOR was late cumming, but up for a DONUTS screw,
saying "it would be easy with the hole", but then he wouldn't 
be able to touch the sides. A good bush run with a fascination
level of 8.3 with a 1.2 bush bonus.       ..... "Shitty Trail" .....
Sergeant SPENCE's 1st charge - HALF A BAR was looking at 
the Songbook upside down   ..... "Hymn, hymn f*ck hymn" .....
Next came FOP, forgetting GLIDER's 700th run, & not 
handing the $10 vouchers to HER VAG, MOUNTIE, BP &
SPENCE - then came the call of 'inside job' !!
DIMWIT had a drink for walking round the circle, just looking
for new runners, then NUTCRACKER was asked to describe
a 'quick lay' (?)
PRECIOUS was heckled to 'get a life', for coming to Hash 
& not to schoolies - maybe he's a good Hash man !!
GLIDER was there with his copy of The Australian 
(as he does), & went into a long yarn about Mungo Man's
'return to ground' ceremony. The charge turned out to be for
FOP, as the reburial of the Mutti Mutti Man was run by
leader J Kelly, then SS reckoned FOP would be Mango 
Mango Man.
QUICKDICK was out there dropping his pants to reveal
'he's green', then LOIS LANE had CHRIS CROS out for
the gag about "both Sons are gay, so does anyone like a 
woman?" - yes my wife !!
DIMWIT had his right hand bandaged, & being right-handed, 
how was he going to have a wank?
BP had a drink to celebrate being the new Grand Mattress
of PMT Hash, then FOP got the 'Mugabe impeachment charge' -
SOS was almost impeached when he wouldn't leave !!
PEBBLES & BHD were out for some gag (?) about a hairy wife,
then DUMB & DUMBER charged NORMAL for the crossword
clue in The Age - writer of the opera was J Gay.
PIMP had to phone DUMBER for directions, after following
the 'old run' signs, then SILIC had a charge for not picking up
REAR ENTRY - but they said he should have been 
congratulated instead.
(It's getting dark by now & I can't see the pen - where's the
light DONUTS?).
MOUNTIE charged DIMWIT for thinking it was PLUCKA (?),
then DUMBER charged MOUNTIE for laundering the stand-in
jumper & wanting it back again.
FASCINATOR gave FANG a drink for getting them both 
bushed, then BENTNOSE said PLUCKA had never eaten so
much protein in her life, by swallowing that fly. 
      .....'Nipples on her tits'.....
DIMWIT was up to tell us about the Hash run in Saigon & 
FOP had 2 tickets for something more about the Soup Bus.
BBQ snags & steak, with bread, salads & pasta were very 
enjoyable 'around the round' fire.

Next week's run, 1852 - Hare FASCINATOR from
Crown Hotel, Buninyong.



Tuesday, November 14, 2017

13 - 11 - '17   Run 1850   Fish Hatchery

SS's run from his 2nd home, with the Hash 33 fronting up.
FOP reminded us that the Hare had a lot to live up to, with
last year's run getting the "Shit Hot" award, but SS assured
us "not tonight". FOP then welcomed new runner Stewart.
SS described the run as probably 5.5 K, marked left & right, 
& stay on trail. It took us thru' Fairyland, the Wetlands, round
the western end of Lake Gardens, south to the old Clubhouse 
of Ballarat Golf & back along Sturt St to the Drink-stop at the
POW Memorial. SHAFFY asked the question, as he ran his 
hand from the water trickle to the dry, "is this a cold memorial,
or a war(m)emorial - (he's such a cunning stunt!!).
At the circle, FOP welcomed newby Stewart, then welcomed 
back SQUIZZY, HYMIE & DIMWIT. He took a welcome back
himself, after the whirlwind San Fran Conference week.
HEAD HUNTER handed everyone the new H3 Song Book,
& the 1st Responsorial Psalm was Page 1, Song 1,
"You're stupid" etc.
FASCINATOR was there for screwing - 1st of all SHAFTED
& DR DEATH from last week's Melbourne Cup Eve run.
Relying heavily on his "device", he went thru' the whole rant
of a Cup call, with most Hash names getting a guernsey, to
the end tune of "we'll be coming round the outside when
we come". 
Then came the SS screw - fascination level of 15.4 is all we
got, & they said the 2nd screw usually takes the longest -
P5 S2, "S.H.I.T.T.Y. Trail".
Sergeant SPENCE called out NUTCRACKER for Run 15, then
went on & on about "the size of the date plus the penis less 8"
or whatever, & completely lost it. He was back on track with
D&C's run 77, GILF 250, NUMMY 500 (that got a chorus of
"I would walk 500 miles"), GLIDER 699 & MASTABAIT 1369.
We didn't get the full story, but Tommy HALF A BAR got 
locked out while he was fully naked - P3 S1 - "He's the 
meanest, he sucks the horse's ....... ", then DR DEATH had 
another one for HALF A BAR, for the vault of material he 
had to make his suit (?).
DUMB & DUMBER charged DR DEATH for leaving a stick of
sweating dynamite in the car that was to be cleaned out, only
to find a 2nd stick as they "oxy'd" a hole in the body, & as one
Doctor drinks ...... out you come ROWDY.
MOUNTIE had NORMAL & PEBBLES out the front for their
"Chrome & Coffee" show & shine at Sovereign Hill Carpark - 
"could have been doing it on the bonnet".
PEBBLES gave NORMAL a drink for being seen in work 
overalls, actually "doing" some work, then CHRIS CROS to
HALF A BAR for "if the Libs bite the dust, do the medals
have to go back?"
Stewart was out there for his sterling job as Grogmaster
on virgin night, then FANG for only making an appearance at
the Drink-stop, then spending all the time at the circle, 
on his phone.
DR DEATH charged HEAD HUNTER & QUICK DICK for their 
side stepping the main gate & getting a freeby at the 
Mate4Mates Day, then NUTCRACKER was out there again for
showing her pink bits  -  P4 S1  -  "Do your tits hang low, do 
they wobble to & fro'?"
We all had a can of REAR ENTRY's Richmond beer - he said 
he'd take his car tonight, but of course, that's code for,
"I won't be there!!" 
SHAFTED then had SS out for the "penis in his palm"(tree), 
& SOS had a drink for being the next horse owner (or should 
that be loser?). Tidyhorseflesh.com.au
A quick tour of the "youngens" swimming round in their tanks
followed, & then came the banquet table & 20 assorted 
Domino pizzas, quickly inhaled & enjoyed.

Next week's run - 1851 - Hare DONUTS. On on from the end of 
State Forest Road (signs will be out). On after back at his place.