Bevan Kelly

Admin

+1

  · Sorner28i :4a7a2lat 21232l9p1A   · 

Run #2087, 25 April 2022

Mountie from The Eureka Stockade (Not Stockade Street).

It was time… for Head Hunter and Quick Dick to make their return to Hash.

Anzac Day began in the fabulous east.

Following the run, it was revealed that Big Dog would be Grog Master in the coming weeks due to Spartacus having claw surgery, presumably to enlarge it. This was accompanied by the welcomes backs of HH and QD. (Get a life)

The Screw then issued a challenge to see who could create the most interesting image on a map using their trail from the run. It was noted that “at the going down of the sun…” and the sun had well and truly gone down. The run was criticised for it’s misleading 3k label and the hare getting lost. “Too many hills, shitty trail”.

QD was made Sergeant as a welcome back gift after 3 weeks. The opening charge was for Dumb, Lois, Pauline, BHD and Tommy Half a Bar, the ex-service men of Hash. (A soul)

QD then awarded his ‘cunt of the week’ award to Precious for not calling on backs and his partner in crime, The Bill, for pretending to pick up rubbish while running the on back. (They are cunts)

Then began the camouflage charges. Mrs D for wearing camo and then a flashing light on her ankle as well as Teflon and Criss Cross for wearing bright red. (You’re stupid)

Mountie was also charged for being so well camouflaged that Juscum ran right over the top of her on the run. It was then pointed out “you couldn’t see her and she couldn’t see her own trail”. (No no no)

The charges then began for the “Kokoda” runners, with Campaspe, Pink Bits and Mrs D charged for walking the trail but running up the hill. Dum was heard to remark that it was because they had “small brains”. Num responded that men have “small cocks” and was then charged for having seen both. (Give me an aye)

Nutcracker and

 

Bevan Kelly

Admin

+1

  · Sorner28i :4a7a2lat 41271l9p1A   · 

Run #2086, 18 April 2022

Teflon from Taylor Court.

It was time… for the GM to finally fucking show up. Too bad his committee didn’t get the memo.

19 Runners left to brave the elements and returned looking like drowned rats. For the appalling weather, the RA was charged off the bat. Alongside this formality, Big Dog was finally awarded his shit hot run of the year award left over from awards night. (They outta be public pissed on)

Due to dwindling numbers, Precious doubled as both the Scribe and Screw. In his unbiased opinion, best screw ever. Teflon was commended for his great run through great terrain which was well marked. But, due to the darkness, rain and mud, it was deemed not the time for the run.

The esteemed GM then took to the stand to announce his stand in Sergeant… himself. Pusbucket regaled the story of the failed Hash nativity, which failed to materialise when Hash couldn’t find 3 wise men or a virgin. For this The Bill, BHD and Cris Cross were bought out the front as the wise men that couldn’t be found, with Pink Bits charged as the virgin that couldn’t be found.

Pusbucket was then informed by Criss Cross that Gough Whitlam won a pub quiz and bought a house with the winnings. Criss Cross wondered whether Gough got his knowledge from the bottom of VB caps and whether Pusbucket could replicate this feat. Pauline then charged Lois Lane for taking a wrong turn at PMT Hash, despite standing right next to trail. (You’re stupid)

Pusbucket was bought out the front again for doing an Albo and being absent during the campaign. Scomo was bought out the front for always being around and everyone’s favourite minor party leader, Pauline, was also bought out the front. (His one skin)

Immaculate Conception was then charged for his new shoes. Scomo was also bought out the front by Lois. Lois had her pension increased by an extra $20, only to return from holiday and see

4Jacki Fowler and 3 others

 

Bevan Kelly

Admin

+1

  · Sorner28i :4a7a2lat 51280l9p1A   · 

After complaints that my previous blogs were too long, I did a 2-week trial where I uploaded the shortest blogs imaginable, and also that went over badly. So, for a nice middle ground all blogs will be kept to a 339-word limit, then (in the theme of Hash) it’s time…. to end the blog.

Run #2085, 11 April 2022

Rowdy from The Mt Xavier Golf Course.

It was time… for the GM to fuck off already apparently. With no GM in sight, the youth of today took control, with Precious having to double as GM and Scribe. In his unbiased opinion, best GM ever.

Welcomes to Doona who missed the AGM (wonder how that happened?) and welcomes back to Lois Lane and Pauline (who also missed the AGM (wonder how that also happened)), as well as Dr Death who showed up the first week he wasn’t required. And if one doctor is welcomed back, all doctors are welcome back. So welcomes back to Dr Rowdy. (Get a Life)

The Screw soon followed. The run was deemed not too bad, too many hills. (Shitty Trail)

Charges before run saw Wee Problem charged for pulling a calf, but Tommy Half a Bar was charged for pulling a ram. (If one Hassell…) Spartacus and Juscum were similarly bought out the front. (Mrs Murphy)

DnC, Nutcracker (Lois will do) and Pussbucket (Spartacus will do) were all called out the front. Along side them stood Doona, a shining example that, had they not fucked with the AGM date, we would have had more attendees at the big night. Pauline was then called out for also missing the AGM. (No No No)

Scomo was then bought out the front because it was time. Scomo then enquired whether there were “any pensioners that wanna complain”, which shouldn’t be hard to find at Hash. (U.G.L.Y)

At this point, Hash appointed it’s new Elbow to oppose Scomo, Bent Nose. Dr Death was also charged because it is time for him to change his hair, with Precious also bought

 

Sharon Olsen

Admin

  · 8ta12Sluc47nso6h68f2  · 

RUN #2084, 4 April 2022 - AGM

Hare: The Bill – Location: Grapes Hotel

This week, 35 Hashers signed the book, and gathered at the Grapes otel for our last shagadelic run. As we farewelled our current GM’s, there was excitement and anticipation as we waited for the announcement of the new GM and committee. There were party hats for all, as we celebrated D&C’s and Paul Bearer’s birthdays. Mastabait (1500) and Spencer Hocking (1300) were also adorned in their celebratory balloons from last week. The 4.5km run took us through The Bill’s Garden and circled around and up and down the streets of Ballarat, lots of HH and C kept us together, but some still got lost/created their own trail before re-joining the group.

Part 1 of the Hash circle was held in the beer garden, where we began by acknowledging our outgoing GMs. The birthday hashers were then called to the front and D&C was presented with a birthday cake and candles to blow out.  Hashy Birthday  .

The Sniffy runs from last week scored the next charge as did Shafted who had poured a beer into Paul Bearers party hat that had slipped down his back. Not surprisingly, it was not watertight and leaked down his back.  No No No  .

The outgoing committee scored the next down down, to day thanks and farewell.  They’re the Meanest  . The Outgoing GM’s, Nutcracker and D&C were then given an espresso martini as their farewell.  F@#k Off Ya C@%ts  .

There was then a quick welcomes back for Rear Entry, Big Dog, Pebbles, Paul Bearer and Fergie.  Not sure what the song was???  . We then paused as meals were ready. We resumed part 2 of the hash circle after dinner, inside the pub, once all other diners had gone.

Mountie asked D&C to hold her moot this week and began her screw of The Bill with a joke about The Bill who had gone to see Dr Rowdy after a big passionate night with a sweet young thing. His old fella was all red and engorged . Dr Rowdy looked at it and told The Bill that he’d better sit down as he thought he was about to cum . Mountie then awarded the following scores: Venue -5 (we’ve been at the Grapes too many times), Terrain -5 (seemed to run down more than up), Marking -10 (couldn’t always find trail), Drink Stop 0 (crownies weren’t cold enough), Groovy Factor 5000 (don’t have to bring the MOOT anymore).  Shitty Trail  . The MOOT was then smashed.

The outgoing committee was then called for another farewell down down.  F@#k Off Ya C@%ts  . The new GM was then announced and it is…….Pus Bucket!!!  Give us an A  . Pus Bucket thanked D&C and Nutcracker and their shagadelic administration for a fantastic year and announced the new theme….”It’s Time”. This was where my pen ran out. Those who know me will not be surprised that I had a spare, just in case.

Pus Bucket then gave a short speech proclaiming that this year everyone will be celebrated, from front runners to bar flies and no one will be left behind. No child will live in poverty, but what about the pensioners? The new committee was then announced:

Grandmaster – Pus Bucket

Sergeants – QD and Spencer Hocking

Screw – Campaspe

Choir Master – Mrs D

Hash Horn – Teflon

Bookkeeper – The Bill

Religious Advisor – Nutcracker

Grog Master – Spartacus

Trail Master – Rowdy

Hash Scribe – Precious

Hash Cash – Big Dog

 Give us an A  .

Rowdy will be the Hare for next week’s run which will be held at the Mount Xavier Golf Club in Ballarat East.

Next Week’s Run – Monday 11 April 2022 – Hare: Rowdy – Location: Mount Xavier Golf Club

There were a few more charges to use up the beer but I am signing off, this is the end of my scribing. Th-Th-The…..That’s all, folks!