Monday, July 28, 2014

Run 1673, Hare: Rowdy, Venue: Midlands Golf Club

Walkers followed the runner's trail, and runners followed the runner's trail, both wound through the footpath-free suburbia of Invermay Park, and with a few short cuts and discrete directions all managed to arrive at the drink stop together apart from the 3 amigos, who stayed by the bar all night without venturing out. Why Spartacus should associate himself with those other two wall flowers only Puss Bucket could answer, but two wrongs don't make a right, and Puss Bucket is not here to answer.
Fascinator screwed the run in a fashion, but didn't know the tune to the song, so Rowdy had to sing tunefully about himself with some made up anecdotes from the distant past, and a passing reference to Bill Clinton; to the stirring tune of "Me and Bobby McGee". Heavy outstanding once again, but please come back soon!
A huge welcome back to Masturbait, after 10 weeks of travelling, and a fark off to Sillic. Criss Cross, Donuts and Puss Bucket were mentioned in absentia, and Fascinator was charged just to rekindle the energy of last week. Precious was told to get a head job, good or bad, while Normal and Rear Entry were given a fishy charge for being c*nts. Well deserved.
Sillic was cited for not being invited to any parties. He wondered what the fuss was about.
BP was charged with not paying attention, and her defence was she was channelling half a bar. She was rewarded with half a down down, and proceeded to leave the room to finish her text. Only 11 to go until 1000.
A nice meal, with an artistic table configuration in front of the log fire finished off the night to satisfaction.

Sympathies to Dumb and Dumber, with Nummy,who lost his mother Nellie during the week, aged in her nineties. All our thoughts and good wishes are with you and your family.

Next week's run continues the theme, at the Golf House Hotel; Fluid Movement the Hare.

Monday, July 21, 2014

Run 1672 Hare: Fascinator, Venue: Top Eureka

Second Run Syndrome; Think you are invincible, get just a little ahead of yourself, and stuff it up.

But who ever said a Real Estate Agent was ever lacking in confidence and chutzpa?
Fascinator had the whole world at his feet, at the favoured Hash venue, on a calm, clear, but cold night, with the run seemingly well set with lots of different coloured chalk. All going well up to a check; (idea) let's have an on back after the check: Gee, that worked well , let's have 3 more on back's at the same check! Let's lose half the pack: that worked well! Let's start setting the trail in a succession of colours impossible for some to see over a distance impossible to run..........
A few made the drink stop. All gathered at the rotunda in Sturt St for the down downs, made more palatable by the need to cuddle the one closest to you to keep warm.
Fluid Movement manned the drinks beautifully, although Spencer Hocking charged the hare as to the wisdom of needing four bags of ice at a drink stop to cater for four runners, when the perceived temperature was -4C. Donuts  bagged a welcome back after one week, after missing out recently on being away for four.
Fascinator was screwed by the fill in, with much referencing to his dodgy profession, and a Heavy inspired punch line channelling Bill Haley to the tune of "See you later Fascinator". With some do-wops thrown in by the backing vocals, the rotunda was almost turned into a 1950's dance floor.
Charges worked well, starring Fascinator repeatedly, and ending in Fascinator repeating.
Pluck a Duck was presented with appropriate headwear, reminiscent of the departed chicken hash, but no second coming on the horizon just yet (although jeSOS did drive past the pack tooting his horn before the pack dispersed.....).
There was a succession of birthday charges, to BP for having a birthday, to Pebbles, for keeping the receipts, to Spence, for letting the lass walk to school, to Donuts for blowing on the birthday candles, and to Sillic for being a tight ass prick. Apparently Pebbles, who has a huge dick, is troubled by having a short tongue. Go figure.
A wonderful meal at the Top Eureka was highlighted by SS sharing a bottle of wine from 1998, and Rear Entry demonstrating what a shellfish prick would look like.

Oh, and Spartacus was not wearing shorts.

Next week's run is NOT by Hymen. Rowdy will take over, from the Midlands Golf Club in Heinz Lane, with meal to follow. See you then.

Monday, July 14, 2014

Run 1671 Hare: Spencer Hocking, Eureka Stockade Hotel, 14/07/14

Spencer Hocking has distinguished himself to be the only man to come between Ian Thorpe and George Pell (or Lake Esmond and St Alipius school). Dirty boy. The run from the Eureka Stockade Hotel was a back to basics affair, very well, and cunningly set on the right (and if it wasn't right it was wrong), which ended at a well stocked drink stop not very far from home. The stand in GM was the only one to follow trail past the Hash Ballroom - aka Jennings shed - but the run setting effort with appropriate landmarks was appreciated. The Silly Billy Goat is slowly settling into command, and will be well and truly ensconced by the time our flighty GM returns.
But absences persist, and the Heavy Screw had to be replaced by a Rowdy Root, who stumbled through with appreciative thanks to an email from Paraburdoo, with lyrics to a song about Spence the perve, Diddle diddle diddle Dum, which ended up with Fiddle diddle with the Bum, and somehow summed up the night.
Welcomes back to the trumpfarter from the Orient, and to Road Runner who has an affinity with a French connection and Bastille Day. Normal was charged for being hopeless, and Rear Entry was charged for being hopelessly pathetic; failed both hearing and IQ tests. BHD, Road Runner and Boot Rooter all had most of their runs whilst travelling, and so walked tonight.
Two amazing things happened. Bent Nose was chastened into admitting he was wrong; and KWAK was christened by the merkin from down under. KWAK readily adopted the position, as if she has been there before, and arose as Pluck a Duck.
Poor Rowdy was picked on mercilessly for something to do with football, by those who support Essendon and those who don't.
Sadly Num and Dumb leave us for the next 5 weeks. Next week's run will be set by Fascinator from the Top Eureka, with the promise of Hymen to follow.

Monday, July 7, 2014

Run 1670 Hare: Num Num Nummy, Cuthbert's Rd

A week of Welcomes' Back and Fark's Off;  Welcome Back to the Family Estate in Cuthbert's Rd, to the Tommy half a bar and his farken filthy tongue, and to Spencer Hocking settling into his role as Sergeant at Arms.
Fark Off to HAL the Una Farker, and Tommy the Ewefarker, and Fark You to Rear Entry and Sillic.

Welcome drinks also to the following, although it was like squeezing blood from a stone; Mr Floppy Tits, Her Vagesty, Jack, Warwick and Flo Jo, and Fascinator. Pebbles also.

The run was deftly set ON THE RIGHT the whole way, with the weather cold but kind, and a good pack of runners kept together by the hare. The walkers managed to find the drink stop concurrently with the runners, and made their way back to the family Estate in Cuthbert's Rd for the down downs and a wonderful meal with mashed potatoes to go with the steaks and veggies.
Heavy screwed manfully, both Dumb and Num: noting the potential danger in the run, with the safety of the 3 critical care ambulances ready to go next door, and the RDNS Director of Nursing present at the drink stop. He serenaded us with a version of Willie Nelson's "On Cuthbert's Road Again".
Charges revolved around the Cuthbert's/Crockers/Warwick Road similarities with runner's names, and more fark off charges to Mountie, and the Una Farker, and Tommy farken half a bar. Despite intense competition, Fascinator won the Philip Nitschke prize for the charge that died the most premature death.
Well Done!
By the way, Heavy will quietly fark off unannounced until November. All the best, big man in Paraburdoo.

Next week's run is from the Eureka Stockade Hotel, set by Spencer Hocking. Fascinator is doing something the week after.