Tuesday, November 27, 2018

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Tuesday, November 20, 2018

19 - 11 - '18      Run 1906      Smythes Crk

The annual visit to State Forest Rd - DONUTS the Hare 
with the Hash 30+. The Scribe was on the overdue SILIC bus
& missed all the prelims. GLIDER was the lonely bar fly pacing
up & down, waiting to ferry the Drinkstop down the hill. The 
bar flys soon swelled to 8, with the arrival of 'ratemyagent'
FASCINATOR, then DR DEATH & HALF A BAR in the 
Prospector van, & SHAFTED well after 7:00, in the ute, after
delivering the horse shit. 
A very sweaty BILLYGOAT lead the field in to the Drinkstop,
100M down the hill from the On On.
Back to the DONUTS Res for the Circle & Fire-pit.
PEBBLES had welcomes back for NORMAL, PIMP & TEFLON.
                    (This is your Down Down song .......... ).
Best Hash Screw MOUNTIE 1st up charged PEBBLES for not
welcoming back GEORGE-PELLiCAN.
                     (Finnish Drinking Song ........ NO!).
She presented DONUTS with his Drive mags (one said 
7 salads), saying the run was beautifully marked & she'd learnt 
on the run, what HC meant - Hard Core, (but SILIC thought 
Hairy Cunt & DUMBER said Headen Cuthbert). She said that 
D&C has 'anti-sexidents' all the time, & then the limerick,
"the Hash Tarts all said he's a ripper in bed", but she had to 
mark him down - too many salads.
                      (Shitty Trail ........... ).
SHAFTED had DR DEATH out for no Hash gear, & as all Dr's
drink, you too QUICKDICK (was ROWDY hiding?), & then 
PIMP, FASCINATOR & HALF A BAR as the ignorant pricks.
PEBBLES (missing a vagina) didn't attend the PMT  AGM -
'no gash - no Hash', then BP was out as a Hash slut (?), & as 
all cunts drink ... you too NORMAL, & short cunt HALF A BAR.
                       (No, no, bad ........... ).
FASCINATOR charged DR DEATH for the Prospector truck 
being licensed for 15, but having 69 many times, then 
LOIS LANE had GLIDER out with his raw looking eye - "a root
is better that a poke in the eye".
NUTCRACKER & D&C had a drink for "You don't win friends
with salads".
                    (There's a game called 20 toes ........ ).
LOIS had an 'oopsy' with her 'best girl crack-shitter', & BP 
for saying that "MOUNTIE came out on the way out".
                              (They're alright .......... ).
SILIC charged NUTCRACKER for saying that DR DEATH 
needs a good horn in his truck, & PIMP saying about 'no book',
but he'd signed the Roy Higgins book. 
DUMBER had DR DEATH out the front as 'GM' of the Redan FC,
HEAD HUNTER as the new GM of PMT, & PEBBLES - our 
current GM. 
                       (They're the meanest ........... ).
MRS DICKHEAD called out PAULINE for his new shoes, & then 
the brand new haircut came to light. The brand new hat had a 
drink as well, whilst the bride LOIS helped him with the shoe.
                  (Put it in your hand Mrs. Murphy .......... ).
Last charge - NUMMY had a Hashy Birthday fuck you!
NORMAL couldn't contain himself being back on the BBQ 
tools, & we had 'too many salads' - DONUTS built 2 of them.

Next week's run - 1907 - Hare BAR LICKER from Meredith Pub.

Tuesday, November 13, 2018

12 - 11 - '18.      Run 1905      Creswick.

The BENTNOSE run from 84 on Albert Pizza. The Hash 35 
rolled up, & as GM PEBBLES put it, "We've started late 
enough for everyone to get here - even SHAFTED made the 
start". BENT told us how fantastic the run was (who knew!),
with as many hills as downhills. BP would be commandant 
of the walkers, & there's a pub in both directions for the 
bar flys.
We headed off around the streets of the west, with NUMMY
ROWDY & SHAFTED the early short cutting 'C's', but all to
no avail - completely in the wrong direction. After the hills 
& goat tracks of the bush, then came St. George's Lake, & 
back to the well stocked Carlton & Tiger Drink-stop,  in town. 
It stayed even well "stockter", with the absence of the bar flys.
The Circle was out back of 84, by the mini golf.
PEBBLES began with welcomes back for SPARTACUS,
ROWDY, SPENCER HOCKING, PRECIOUS & BHD.
DUMBER was 1st charge for his "dyslexic" boy grog post.
MOUNTIE was next for the 'screwing' - there were nice long 
tracks thru' the bush, & how she had to crawl up 
NUTCRACKER's arse on the hills. The Drive Mags were 
there, with headlines, "King of the Hill" & "Crowning Glory".
The limerick asked, " is he a bit of a flog?"
                            (Shitty Trail ....... ).
HALF A BAR got 'lashings' as the result of his sight gag 
(from the black & white printer).
SHAFTED called out the sniffycunt runs - PAULINE 222, 
BP 1133, BENTNOSE 1313, HALF A BAR 1188, 
THE BILL 1616, D & C 124, GLIDER 744 (he's still here!!), 
& PRECIOUS (?).
                             (Get a root, root, root .... ).
Sir Thomas BENT's name was next - Politician who was one 
of the most colourful & corrupt in Victorian history.
ROWDY "pulled one" in Paris & Portugal, then CHRIS CROS
charged BIG DOG for his Grinder Date at the Pub.
PRECIOUS charged the Non Hash Gearers - BITCHFACE,
NUTCRACKER & BIG DOG.
                              (No, no, bad, bad ......... ).
SS was out for blowing the froth from a beer (as he does),
& BAD HEAD JOB for the 'blatant self promotion' of the 
11-11-11 horn job (well no-one else would!!). 
REAR ENTRY charged THE BILL for running a red light,
& then letting himself off.
                            (Finnish drinking song ... NO!).
PRECIOUS had a drink for jumping on the water bottle in
front of D & C at the Drink-stop, then HER VAG was there 
for going to Bangkok, to Bang a Cock - are ya there FOP??
PAULINE charged HALF A BAR for his 8 years in the CMF.
Turns out that he joined the Airborne & after 100 parachute 
jumps (& not knowing how to land properly), he shortened 
his legs, to be the 'shortman' that he is today.
    PAULINE led the ...... (I want to be an airborne ranger...).  
Various flavoured pizzas & pasta followed, amongst the 
to & fro' bullshit of the bar flys.

Next Week's Run - 1906 - Hare DONUTS 
                                 State Forest Rd. BBQ.