Tuesday, June 27, 2017

26 - 6 -'17     Run 1830      Mystery Bus

Tic Tic & the clock well & truly rolls past the 6pm Sharp ETD,
while the 40 or so on the bus have an extra drink waiting for 
the arrival of the 'late' FANG. We eventually headed off West,
obviously with no thought for the "fabulous East", except for
PUSBUCKET saying we could be headed for East Adelaide.
I looked round to see DR DEATH's legs hanging out of his 
dress - "put your legs down Goyny, it's getting draughty", 
just as he took to the floor with his '6 Moose' gag.
Along the way we found out that "who makes MOUNTIE cum?"-
PUSBUCKET of course, but "who makes PUSBUCKET cum?" -
goes without saying - SPARTACUS.
We had a little stop (to put us off the scent), outside of the 
darkened Lexton Pub, then continued on to the Golf Club for
the cheese, dips & bickies.
HEAD HUNTER called reverance for the Circle, with some 
comment about 'kiss my arse' - & they all wanted to line up.
BENT NOSE had a charge for PEBBLES, that "he's been to
Lexton" (or something ?), then for Big Events' MOUNTIE
Jane from Lexton, for organising a great night .... " in your
hand Mrs Murphy ..... "
Welcomes back to INSATIABLE, FERGIE, JITTERBUG, BP,
CLEAV(er)AGE, & DONUTS, to the tune of "here's to
the returners". 
New runners had a drink - Michelle, PYRO, PRAWN STAR,
DOUBLE ADAPTOR, Cecilia ( CRUTCHLESS made her cum),
& Rochelle ( HER VAGESTY made her cum) ..... "We've got
virgins on the run".
Sergeant SPENCER HOCKING had a charge for LOIS LANE
about some sign (?) - she drank to the "You're stupid, you're
stupid" song, then Big Events' MOUNTIE for the 2nd year
milestone of HEAVY's demise .... "You've got a big thing",
& last week, LADY TRAMP could have had a PEBBLES
big thing. SPENCE went on to charge DIMWIT for no reason
at all, but could be to drink out of his new wig, new dress or
whatever. NUM NUM & DUMB DUMB had a going away drink
to celebrate the trip to FNQ, bringing back the Hash 
memorabilia, but when NUMMY couldn't drink out of the hat,
DUMBY upended it over his girly wig.
MOUNTIE made PRAWN STAR cum tonight, who made PYRO
cum as well, then NORMAL (had to!!) step up to take a drink
on behalf of the 2 waitresses. 
HER VAG took over the Pobjoy microphone, to compere the
the "Fashion Parade" that was much like your Football Club
dress up. The "girls" all paraded/shimmied  toward the 
3 Lexton Judges, then a shortlist of 5 to decide the winner.
That's when DR DEATH tried to gain a lead, by displaying
both nipples (amongst a grey hairy chest), while SHAFTED
spun round on the floor like a "blowfly on it's last". DIMWIT
took out the title, and he & PEBBLES (for some reason?)
drank together. 
The main event saw the "boys" parading, & after the 
shortlist, PYRO came out the Clubhouse Leader, & she 
was up for a drink with the 3 Lexton Judges. Her & DIMWIT
then had the "Winner's Drink" ..... because all winners 
drink together, just to "consummate" the event.
It seems that JITTERBUG's fit-bit registered a fair amount
of 'extra activity' there for about 15 minutes, at one point.
We ate, drank, be'ed merry & danced all night to the 
excellent entertainment of Andy Pobjoy, & all the credit
to MOUNTIE & the team for a great night.
A fairly quiet trip home by usual standards, where (I think)
FOP actually kept his pants on!!

Next week's run, REAR ENTRY (reckon he'd be up to about
900 by now !!), from 'The Office', Miner's Tavern.



Tuesday, June 20, 2017

19 - 6 -'17      Run 1829     10 Sweeney St

Virgin Hare CRUTCHLESS' chance to star at the Run Set, as 
FOP welcomed LADY TRAMP, FASCINATOR's bro' Dr Nick &
welcome back to SHAFTED's bro' Gary.
CRUTCHLESS told us the run was over 5km, & that the 
drink-stop is "not here, but somewhere else". About 27 
rolled up - 18 "athletes" & 9 walkers. The run was set in pink
& white chalk, & flour in dobs. SS had donated a Hash T Shirt
to Juri, but after Juri peeled up a couple of layers & displayed
a Hash Shirt beneath, FOP quickly retrieved the donation, but 
then the Indian Giver quickly returned same.
On the run, FASCINATOR gave the step-daughter a few 
pointers, saying "don't tell the bastards anything", so we 
battled on thru' some of the unusual marks, being the opposite
direction, L shape & the word printed on the road, AFTER X..??
SHAFTED remarked, that "having bro' Gary on the run, he 
didn't want to lose any more brothers", & that's why 
BAD HEAD JOB was too scared to set another one !! 
The Drink-stop was at the Park on Nicholson St, & so , 
a short walk up the hill to the "Circle".
FOP dealt out the welcome drinks to LADY TRAMP & bro's
Gary & Dr Nick, & as you know, all Dr's drink together ..........
front & centre DR ROWDY. Welcome's back also to the 
intrepid WA & NT travellers, MASTABAIT, SPENCER HOCKING
& SHAFFY
FASCINATOR rose to screw CRUTCHLESS' Virgin Run, saying
that it was very successful, confusing the old farts with marks
going every which way. He said how NUMMY on the run, had
missed her chance of some mattress action - 3 or 4 of them
stacked in the dumpster. He gave the run the FASCINATion
level of 7.9, & then we heard again the S.h.i.t.t.y trail - a few 
more choristers joining the chant each week. 
Sergeant SPENCE gave his first charge to the "kickee's out" 
or the "kickee out's" of the MCG Corporate Box, HALF A BAR
& DUMB & DUMBER, & as all Melbourne Supporter's drink
together, out you come SS.
QUICK DICK & DUMBER had a drink for their fronting up to the 
women's PMT Hash, & getting in some practise for the 
Black Tie Night cross-dress.
SS & Juri had a drink for Hash Gear, then a rebound for 
SPENCE after charging FANG for no gear, when FANG had 
some on beneath all the time.
QUICK DICK had heard that MASTABAIT took his Teddy Bear
PJ's on the trip, to wear in the swag, & when the weather heated
up, he'd cut the legs short, but MASTABAIT took a 2nd, this 
time from NORMAL, when he said that BAIT doesn't wear PJ's
when they're together. 
NORMAL charged HALF A BAR for the day he invited NORMAL
& Jill out to cut some firewood, & not once did he take the 
chain-saw out of Jill's hand.
HALF A BAR & Juri drank up for wearing work wear - 
HALF A BAR for PIMP's horse logos, & Juri for St Pat's (Father
Who this time ??).
GLIDER charged SPENCE for his 'Phone a Friend' appearance
on Millionaire, then Juri had another one for not knowing how to
"Give Us An A".
PEBBLES thought it was piss weak of SHAFFY, that the bro's 
weren't aware of Hash Gear .... give 'em a drink anyway !!
ROWDY charged SHAFFY & bro Gary, for having another bro 
that had his 'person' out most at /or after Hash.
Another one for LOIS LANE. MOUNTIE charged LADY TRAMP 
after she had sat on a swing saying, "I haven't been a swinger
for years", then Juri (again) for his lame attempt at comedy
with the Doctor gag & his punchline "Reptile Dysfunction".
That prompted a new Christening ..... front & centre Juri ......
enjoy the sex & running, ..... arise.....  DIM WIT.
CRUTCHLESS, SPENCE & DIM WIT were next charges for
wrong spelling on Logos.
Big Events 'person' MOUNTIE announced proceedings about
next week's Mystery Bus & the cross-dressing there-of, & then
HEAD HUNTER & QUICK DICK took a drink, after she 
announced that, "after seeing him with all that make-up on,
I'll never sleep (?) with him again".

Next week, Mystery Bus Trip  - City Oval Pub.

Oh, & 1829 ? - should be a drink for HEAD HUNTER
QUICK DICK for Norway's "Battle of the Square" that became
the beginning of their National Day.

Tuesday, June 13, 2017

12 - 6 -'17     Run 1828      12 Devon St.,

MOUNTIE's Republican Run from home - venue especially
chosen to celebrate Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth's birthday.
We made the quorom of 14, added to by 1, by the 'late'
FASCINATOR
6 super athletes headed off from the North West, toward 
the 'fabulous East', but remained in the North, not going
any closer than Doveton St. A small detour (at the direction
of HEAD HUNTER), was to check on the supposedly sick
QUICK DICK at home, but it seemed that he was only
watching the replay. The run was obviously set by an 
athlete, with a glaring lack of Halts - they always help the 
palpitations of us Older Farts. Back at Devon Street for the 
Drink-Stop, we entered via the 'rear entry' - where was he
tonight, at the Office again ??).
At the circle, FOP announced the Republican Run, set by 
Ballarat's Biggest (little) Republican MOUNTIE, to celebrate
the Queen's Birthday on April 21st.
Sniffyc*nt Runs - FASCINATOR 50, & HER VAGESTY 69,
woo hoo!! & that got HEAD HUNTER's song, 
"The boys went down down ......."
Screw, FASCINATOR, was there for the 2nd week in 
succession, & was talking about a 'contro - versy' or should
that be 'controv - ersy?' He's given away the idea of the 
'screw epistle' on the mobile phone - he said "only did
that once", & although he didn't run, he'd heard that it was 
very good, & gave it a 7.1 score, then came the "S.h.i.t.t.y
T.r.a.i.l" song - is your songbook on the Internet 
HEAD HUNTER?
Stand in, Stand in, Stand in, Stand in Sergeant NORMAL's
1st charge was for "Captain Pneumonia" himself, 
SPARTACUS - 1st time he's been seen in long pants, let
alone at Hash. NORMAL then wanted to know just how good
MOUNTIE really was, having all the trophies about the place, 
but of course, it's only the tip of the iceberg. He went on to 
charge HEAD HUNTER for getting 'permanent residency' -
"How the f*ck did we let that happen?" 
FANG had a drink for not wearing Hash Gear & got the
'Not Not Not, Bad Bad Bad, Down Down song.
HER VAG and D&C wore their tightest leather tights, & 
at least VAG was able to drink, but of course, NORMAL had
to drink for D&C
MOUNTIE charged HEAD HUNTER for having to go & knock
up QUICK DICK on the run, then THE BILL reminded 
MOUNTIE of the 666 run from years back, running through 
the Cemetery, & the body, the coffin etc.
MOUNTIE had HEAD HUNTER drink up, for starting to sound
like PLUCKA (?), then MOUNTIE darted off to the kitchen,
to rescue 'the veg food' from the oven.
FANG was charged for the time years ago, when he was cut 
short, had nowhere to go, & had to take a dump on the front 
lawn of the venue, then MOUNTIE charged PUSBUCKET for
peeing over the verandah, but of the wrong house.
DUMBER's bar heaters went out again, & we thought, 
"where's f**kin' Tommy f**kin' HALF A BAR to get the f**kin'
things goin' again" like last week, but it was only THE BILL
standing on the plug. Anyway, at the time, according to the
texts & photos, HALF A BAR was busy being thrown out of 
the Corporate Box at the MCG, with DR DEATH & DUMBER.
BHD had a 2nd freebie for The Courier photo about the 
Avenue tree planting, & bloody HEAD HUNTER made the
song up for that one !!
NORMAL charged himself & proceeded to go through his
Marathon history ( blah, blah, are we there yet??), & told us,
that after 1 of the runs (tell us again NORMAL - how many?),
he'd tipped a couple of stubbies in quickly, only to start 
throwing up in the garden, outside of a restaurant window.
Trouble was, people were "fain daining" just inside the
'gold fish bowl'.
Last charge was for HEAD HUNTER by FANG. "Did you see
how long she took to push the stubby holder onto that can?"
"How long would she take with a condom?"

Next week's run - FASCINATOR ( or CRUTCHLESS).
To be informed.

Thumbs up to MOUNTIE for the great Chilli Con Carne,
the Meatballs & the Carrot Cake, & let's not forget the
'pot stirrer & heater up' there-of, PUSBUCKET.
Inside, sitting at the table, there's evidence on the wall of the 
'Worship of the East'. A large wall hanging emblazened with
the words, Warrenheip, Dunnstown, Bungaree & Parwan, but
where is Llandeilo, Bradshaw & Cocksbill Siding? O.S maybe?

Monday, June 5, 2017

5 - 6 -'17    Run 1827   103 Cuthbert's Rd.

NUM NUM's run with Co-Hare DUMB & DUMBER in tow, & 
the Hash 25. The kitchen floor needed some treatment from
the Victa, with all the grass transported in underfoot.
15 Super Athletes, 1/2 Doz Walkers & a couple of Bar Flys
(that went nowhere).
The Co-Hare mentioned the trail is marked "mainly on the
footpath except where it isn't", & eluded to a short 'cross
of trail' - he's done 1000+ runs this guy & set how many ??
It was a fairly short run, around 4km, that finished with the
drink-stop at the On After.
At the circle, FOP had welcomes back for the 'short term
Northern Territorian' SILIC, then FANG, PIMP, LOIS LANE,
REAR ENTRY, loose screw FASCINATOR, & special mention
to GLIDER battling his treatment.
DUMBER's bar heaters went on the blink - enter "f**kin'
Tommy f**kin' HALF A BAR to f**kin' get the f**kin things
goin' again".
FASCINATOR said there was trouble when he reached
Buckinghuge Palace last month, after he'd announced
that he was there to screw HER VAGESTY.
Screwing NUMMY, he mentioned a good short run, back
in doors before the rain, but some confusing trail marked,
going both directions, & he had no idea about the 
(HHC)uthbert sign. He gave it a 6.45 score - marked down
because of the heater problem & only 1/2 the party lights
were on. When he Googled 'NUM NUM', he found a 
'lovely white flower that's found in Kenya, & is nice to eat'.
Stand-in, Stand-in, Stand-in Sergeant, PRECIOUS, began
with the sniffyc*nts of 1827 - the year of Beethoven's
death, so the muso's charge went to HEAD JOB
PEBBLES (Hash Horn) & 'all muso's drink together'.
The Right-Wing Nuts HALF A BAR & REAR ENTRY had
a drink to celebrate the unveiling of Tony Abbott's bust,
& the shiny head gave HEAD JOB another freeby.
GLIDER charged the 'Landline TV Celeb' HALF A BAR,
for getting thru' his segment without saying f**k once
on camera, then HALF A BAR had a 2nd when SILIC
charged him for the Production Crew needing at least
5 days to edit the tape.
ROWDY charged his No1 patient SILIC, for coming home
looking like shit, after a month spent in the Darwin sun.
DAZED & CONFUSED was dazed & confused, after 
finding out that DR DEATH could actually have a drink
at 8 am. 
Birthday drinks were had by DUMBER for his Aunt's
90th, D & C for Dad's 90th, & MOUNTIE for becoming
a Great Aunt.
PIMP took a drink, that should've been for CRUTCHLESS,
when she was asked, "Where does his name come from?"
LOIS LANE, living just round the corner, got lost, even tho'
she knew how to get back to the drink-stop.
DR DEATH charged DR ROWDY (for whatever !!), then
both had a drink, because 'all Doctors drink together'.
FASCINATOR charged PEBBLES & DUMBER for their
photo at Taco Bill's a month ago, eating tacos with 
knives & forks - he must have been on FaKebook
in the UK. 
FOP got in a plug for the Black Tie Mystery Bus in
3 weeks - said "maybe boys dress as girls & vice versa,
but if it was up to me it'd be pants off" - who would've
ever guessed that??
Big thanks to NUMMY for her kitchen endeavours - 
pasta, rice, bol, casserole, quiche, salad, and ice cream
& fruit salad.

Next week - Committee Run from MOUNTIE's place,
Devon St (especially there to celebrate Queen Elizabeth's
Birthday !!) - or will it revert to The Lakeview?


Tuesday, May 30, 2017

29 - 5 -'17   Run 1826  14 Platypus Dve

CHRIS CROS' run from home, with 23 fronting up - bit less 
than last week - was there a Breakaway meeting, attending 
the "Office?" INSATIABLE & FERGIE were there from Cat
Country, & said they hoped  to be back in a month.
After walks & runs, we all met at the Corona & Chips
Drink-stop by the Cricket Oval, then back for the circle 
& On After. 
HER VAGESTY was holding up the drinks court in the 
absence of CRUTCHLESS. INSATIABLE & FERGIE were 
welcomed with a drink, JITTERBUG for her Run No 16, 
& MOUNTIE for her athletic "endeavours", asking 
Sonia O'Sullivan for a photo (just push that button), 
& ending up with an autograph as well.
Stand-in, Stand-in Screw SHAFTED was up next, & 
reckoned it was a 'good' run, at the same time, a 'porno' 
run - HEAD HUNTER was in front of him all the way, making
it his 'wet dream' run. Local kids had chalk spread all over
the place, interrupting trail, & FERGIE reckoned he'd never
seen such long on-backs. SHAFTED gave the run a 
score-card of "Sex", then HEAD HUNTER gave them the 
Shitty Trail song.
They called it the Dick Dynasty, with all dicks drinking
together - 2 DICKS, QUICK DICK, & of course the other
dicks, DR DEATH & HALF A BAR.
Stand-in Sergeant BENT NOSE charged GM FOP for lack
of attendance by the "lower the bar" Committee.
THE BILL kept up the sniffyc*nts of 1826 by arriving late
(for him) at 18:26 pm. SHAFFY had a drink for his 
namesake & Composer, Stephen Foster's birth year
of 1826 - then came the chorus's (is that Chorii?) of
Camptown Races & Oh Suzanna etc.
MOUNTIE charged DR DEATH for his 'knee trembler' when
getting off his bike, then NUMMY for not telling everyone
early enough about "Filthy Brown's" win, (we saw the
replay at the drink-stop on DUMBER's dodgy phone, 
with the flat battery).
HALF A BAR had a drink for his recent 'TV Star' appearance
on Lateline. 
SS (with the extra slit !!), charged NORMAL for looking gay -
his new night vision torch that he uses to ward off the 
snipers, shows a pink light.
When D&C gets charged, NORMAL usually drinks for her,
but Juri has taken over, so now we have a 3'some, with drinks
going every which way.
SHAFFY complained that D&C was loosing interest, because
she wouldn't 'push back', when he was behind 
'pushing forward'. 
NORMAL charged HER VAG as she was the lone female
walking amongst the "Senior Gentleman' & didn't know
(or want to know) about 'Bonanza', 'The Rifleman', 'Steptoe
& Son' et al.
DUMBER charged 2 DICKS & CHRIS CROS for revisiting the
Horticultural Hash, bringing out the ornamental grapes
from the garden, then JITTERBUG charged DR DEATH for 
taking so long on his bike at the Ballarat Lodge building -
would've had time to seduce 2 women.
MOUNTIE charged FERGIE for being sprawled out on the 
car bonnet & really denting it - gonna' need a tow truck there.
Something about cat burglars THE BILL & FOP (anyone
remember?), then all dicks drank again, QUICKDICK, 2 DICKS,
HALF A BAR - where's DR DEATH this time?
SS charged BENTNOSE for stealing his thunder about our
new TV Star HALF A BAR, then reported on GLIDER being 
very unwell due to a serious reaction to his treatment.
Get well GLIDER.
For no other reason, an extra drink for INSATIABLE, as
HER VAG had one left. 
Well done 2 DICKS for the great Dinner treat - Silverside,
Potatoes in their jacket (sour cream & mustard), & Peas,
& plenty of it.

Next week at Cuthbert's, 103 (Their) Rd., On After - same.





Tuesday, May 23, 2017

22 - 5 -'17            Run 1825        3 Davey St

QUICK DICK & HEAD HUNTER's run from home, with the Hash 30'ish.
We headed off into the wind, with QUICK DICK in the pink Hare pants,
& both Hares with a handful of chalk each, live-setting as we went.
Turned out to be the Catholic run of the year - running thru' St John
of God, Aquinas Uni & back thru' Nazareth House, after a short stint
on the Lake. Cheeky bugger PRECIOUS reckoned we should get out
of Nazzy straight away, before they kept a few of us. A well stocked 
drink-stop by Officeworks, & then back for the Circle.
Welcome back to SS, now with the extra 'slit'. CRUTCHLESS couldn't
work out the reason behind SS's Hash name, so the most senior & 
most junior members drank together to HEAD HUNTER's chant of
"Old bastard & young slut". SPENCER HOCKING then presented the
appropriate Pirate Gear to SS, to go with the newly acquired 'slit',
being the eye patch, hat & sword, & he drank to the tune of 
"Him, him, fu*k him".
Stand-in Screw PEBBLES was next ( FASCINATOR flys in today),
& gave virgin hares (at Ballarat), QUICK DICK & HEAD HUNTER a 
'2 Silver Star' rating for an extremely well set run & drink-stop.
Sergeant SPENCE called out Juri for "what happens in new shoes",
& JITTERBUG for "what happens in new boots" - she had on the 
CFM Boots - & they both drank to the "Get back in the kitchen" charge.
FOP was charged for donating the contents of the tin last week, &
SHAFTED, as the Company Director, was "going to" donate.
PRECIOUS had his 1st beer charge, after being seen with 3 lovely
girls together last week - why wouldn't you be there again this week
instead of coming to Hash?
NORMAL had a charge for SS - reckons SS is dumber than himself.
Checking the Shuttlebus manifesto at Tullarmarine, NORMAL couldn't 
find passengers J. Hardy & D. Faulkner - turns out SS had no idea
where to catch the bus.
HEAD JOB had a drink for posting wrong info in last week's 'blah blah',
about Andrew's daughter & the blister disease - where did you say
I could get that Sub-Editor?
DUMBER was charged for feeding his meat to JITTERBUG at the 
Friday Gossip Club lunch, then ROWDY charged NORMAL for the
20 year passing of the NORMAL dummy (or stubby) spit in Mair St.
ROWDY had another drink for his run No 1111, & MOUNTIE charged
QUICK DICK for saying on the run "it's dark at this time at night !!"
SHAFFY heard THE BILL having a bit of a 'gloat' on the run, so 
thought he should be re-named "Billy Gloat", then Juri charged
NUM & DUMB for their little bit of 'romanticism' on the run.
CHRIS CROS charged PRECIOUS for dropping the money tin, 
& spilling change everywhere - wonder how much did roll 
under the deck?
DUMBER charged QUICK DICK for having NUMMY & not 
HEAD HUNTER phone in when the bus was full of women.
QUICK DICK  wondered how so many could get 'lost' in the 2 storey
car park at Ballarat Base - have a drink ROWDY.
FANG wanted to know if we could get a 'where's GLIDER app' 
(ala where's Wally) seeing as SS gets asked about GLIDER 
every week - something like that !!  
SPENCE charged HEAD HUNTER for the match-box sized garbage
bin - "We are at Hash you know", & then HEAD HUNTER had a 2nd,
as she didn't want to start the new job at JK smelling of grog - 
enter MOUNTIE ........ annnnnd "Ought to be.....".
DR DEATH & SOS made it to the On After - obviously SOS had been
busy "Tidying" somewhere.

Next week's run, CHRIS CROS at home, 19 Platypus Drive, Mt Clear,
ummm .... rear entry. Perhaps BYO Chair.

Monday, May 15, 2017

15 - 5 -'17          Run 1824         Taco Bill's

PEBBLES' run, where DAZED & CONFUSED is the Hare, & the run
set by both, with a 30 hash roll-up. All orders taken for the 
heartburn/raw arse supper & we're standing outside on the On On
Marker, when D&C wearing the Hare Pants, told us that "the On On
is from here". We headed off round town, this time anti-clockwise, 
via the Mall, Civic Hall, St Andrews Church & White Flat, to the 
Drink-Stop out back of PEBBLES' Office, then inside & warmth
for the Down Downs.
Apologies to HEAD HUNTER - she is definitely THE Choirmaster & 
not the stand-in, as said in last week's blah blah!!

Welcome to Andrew Biszczak, for his intro to Hash Harriers & 
the Mighty Sovereign Hash. A stop-over in Ballarat, on his many
marathons on the 3000 kms from Adelaide to Brisbane, to raise 
awareness & funds for kids suffering the "blister disease" -
Epidermolysis Bullosa, that claimed the life of his 2 yr old 
daughter. Ballarat kicked in a total of $545 for the cause.
HEAD HUNTER gave him the Piss Pot chant, tho' he doesn't drink.

Wecomes back to SPARTACUS from NZ & Vietnam, and 
CHRIS CROS from Mt Clear.
HALF A BAR was suggested as a stop-over host to Andrew on his
way to Geelong, & that got him the "Him, Him, F**k Him" chant.
Screw (& half a Hare tonight) PEBBLES screwed D&C (figuratively
this time!!) for the run / walk, drink-stop & warm Down Downs 
venue, giving it a "Silver Award" that was retrieved from the wall
in the office, & got HEAD HUNTER's "Shitty trail, shitty trail" chant.
Reckon we'll get to learn all of these one day? Already know the
"Ought to be ...... " one.
Andrew was charged for having no Hash Gear, & presented with
a MRS DICKHEAD singlet, while 'Paul from London' (on his way
to Indonesia), was given a SILIC shirt - well no-one else wanted it!
PLUCKA drank Andrew's beer.
SPENCER HOCKING charged HEAD HUNTER for using her 
Mastercard on the Miki machine, & SPARTACUS had a drink for
his Silver Medal at New Zealand.
NORMAL bought old mate MASTABAIT a drink. He said BAIT
was to buy a car roof-top tent for the trip (as NORMAL put it,
to Cape Town) to Cooktown & beyond. NORMAL had it 
straight from the horse's mouth that "at 70, BAIT's sex life is 
obviously over", because Marg doesn't want to wake up being 
"chewed on by a Croc".
MASTABAIT charged CHRIS CROS for his lost hat, then his lost
glasses while on the Northern Territory walk - & tonight, almost
lost his wind-up torch.
HEAD HUNTER charged MOUNTIE & QUICKDICK, for crossing the 
roundabout in bad traffic, TEFLON charged NORMAL for the
walk being 'too well' organised this week, & both GLIDER &
MASTABAIT charged for no Hash Gear on display. 
PLUCKA & FANG had a drink for almost head butting, being
a bit eager to get a drink from the Drink-Stop esky.
NORMAL charged FANG for rambling on about swapping a 
lemon tree for a spa in the backyard - "must have been a bloody
big lemon tree, or a small spa", he said !!
HER VAG charged Andrew - who is obviously a hare, 
& PEBBLES - tonight's Hare, with no hair.

Think that's how most of it went - few others I can't decipher!!

Next week's run from HEAD HUNTER & QUICKDICK's place,
3 Davey Street - On After, Top Eureka .... errr, Eureka Pizza. 



Monday, May 8, 2017

8 - 5 -'17         Run 1823        Barkly St School

TEFLON's run from the School Car Park, with a 30 roll-up. 
Stand-in Choirmaster HEAD HUNTER returned, & called reverance
for the GM, with FOP's 1st utterings being STUBBY's grog for sale.
TEFLON had a glowing pre-amble for the run - " Running in the
truly magnificent East, plenty of trail marked, no on-backs, no 
hills .........etc".
9 walkers, 3 or 4 bar flys to the pub, so about 18 runners headed
off. GILF was in charge of the walkers, much to the "pissedoffment"
of NORMAL. She had a couple of goes at getting the 
"little green man" to light up at Victoria St (& we didn't even need
to cross over !!), then at Specimen Vale "umm ... where to now??"
Back to the down downs & FOP's next commercial for STUBBY -
must be some commission happening !!
Welcomes back to HEAD HUNTER, QUICK DICK, JITTERBUG,
DR DEATH, ROWDY & HALF A BAR
Sniffyc*nt  runs for CRUTCHLESS & PIMP - 10 each. 
PEBBLES was stand-in Screw  for FASCINATOR (see the selfie
video on the Hash Page) & mentioned the cold night & having to
cross the rail twice, but the trail did get better once it reached the 
granite sand track - awarded the "blue star" - enter HEAD HUNTER
with the Shitty Trail chant.
Charges "may include, but not limited to......."
PIMP had a drink for his services - stand-in Chauffeur while the
old man's away. CRUTCHLESS was next as she was asked "How
do you think HEAD HUNTER & QUICK DICK got their names?"
HEAD HUNTER wouldn't divulge, but had a very wide grin, & still
singing chants from her song sheet. All dicks drink together, so 
out the front QUICKDICK, FOP (for a limp dick) & HALF A BAR.
BENT had a complaint in there somewhere about the beer (?) -
(wish I could read this bloody 'short-hand' next day!!). 
ROWDY & PEBBLES had a drink for the passing of Lou Richards,
then Juri charged NUM & DUMB for leading him astray on the run.
JITTERBUG took a drink from TEFLON for when DIGIT DIGESTER
fell over, & BAD HEAD JOB for rolling the ankle tonight.
FOP's been Wiki-ing - 1823 was the first official Australian gold 
discovery in Bathurst. 
GILF was next for getting the walkers "lost" - "there's a Church 
up here somewhere", & NORMAL gave her a 2nd drink for being
such a shit Walk Commandant. HEAD HUNTER has finally 
ditched the song sheet & is back to a chant that we know, & it 
wasn't "They ought to be .... !!"
Juri had a drink for being a worse joker than HALF A BAR, then
GILF, JITTERBUG & HEAD HUNTER for being amongst the 
European invasion to the mighty Sovereign Hash.
Last charge was for PLUCKA for being up & about again, & still
having the smile on her face, since Paul 'Bearer' is home.

Next week's run - PEBBLES from Taco Bill's (next to Safeway)
                                                                                   Ballarat.


Tuesday, May 2, 2017

1 - 5 -'17        Run 1820      703 Latrobe St

HER VAGESTY's very rainy run from home. GM FOP ascended
the pulpit to address the multitudes - all 21 of them, then came
GILF & SHAFTED (who said SHAT-FED ??). FOP said the 
weather 'lowered the bar' even further, & then came the adverts
about STUBBY's beer being on sale - a little cheaper than last
week at Munster's, where the Publican claimed to be educating
Ballarat.
HER VAG described the run as 5km, but would be following on
the bike - is that how she set it ?
Runners & Walkers headed off, to leave 6 bar Flys-flys thinking 
about testing some of FOP's home brew direct from the keg - 
alas, not working, "something blocking the pipes".
At the Drink-stop, we had plenty of jelly shots & beer from the 
fridge, but no-one took up FOP's offer of the home brew that
as he said " Wasn't too good". Didn't we have a whole year of
that when you were Grogmaster FOP?
On After & welcomes back to BENTNOSE, Juri & PIMP (who
was our stand-in chauffeur, as the old man SILIC was getting
closer to Darwin by the minute).
FOP wants to "make Hash great again" (um .. RAISING the bar?)
by auditing the book, making 2 Nash Hash runs count, so that
tonight becomes Run 1822. NUMMY wasn't happy, but SPENCER
HOCKING is now on 1100, & MOUNTIE 1111. The "Pot calling
the kettle black" was re-awarded to BENTNOSE (why was that
again??), then BENT tagged sooky la la.
They thought the bar was lowered further, as PEBBLES was 
stand-in Screw. He talked about trail around the trotting track
& soccer field, but didn't 'digress', & then gave the run an
alphabet score of 'J' - at least it wasn't that drawn out epistle
from FASCINATOR's phone!!
New shoes came up & Juri said "No way", then PIMP with
"what not to do with new shoes".
Congrats to SPARTACUS for his 'Silver' at New Zealand - you'll
do PIMP, have a drink.
FOP, HER VAG & NORMAL were charged for "dining" during
the down downs, but the focaccia out of the pizza oven was 
pretty nice. FOP had wheeled the oven over from Adair St. 
NORMAL charged old mate MASTABAIT for beetroot actually
coming out of the ground. MOUNTIE was charged for having a 
heavy boulder in her backpack at Tassie, taking over D&C's
bed, then leaving a log in the WC. 
"John from London" ran the rainy trail in singlet & shorts - 
probably thought the climate was just like home, & that's 
when MOUNTIE trotted out that freakin' "Ought to be ... "
Get rid of it !!!
Everyone enjoyed HER VAG's catering - The pulled pork 
casserole, coleslaw, spud & bread rolls.
Google wasn't at all kind to BENTNOSE. The ONLY time in his
life that he's ever been wrong!! The discussion went round &
round for a while, until BENT produced the phone, to find that 
"Jockey Smith was shot in '92 by the cop at Creswick, at 
The Farmer's Arms Pub, NOT The American" - (sniff, sniff)

Here endeth .....

Next Week, TEFLON's run. On On at Barkly St School, 
On After Top Eureka.


Tuesday, April 25, 2017

24 - 4 -'17       Run 1819     Munster's Arms

THE BILL's run on Anzac Eve. PRECIOUS was stand-in 
Choirmaster, on what FOP called the Pre Anzac Eve run, quickly
corrected by SPENCER HOCKING - Errr ... Pre Anzac Eve was
Sunday Night !! 21 in for the night, & SHAFFY continued to 
'lower the bar' - late again. According to THE BILL, the run was
"beautifully set this morning in 4 lb of flour" - not sure about it
after 25 ml of precipitation.
Runners & walkers took off, leaving 5 bar-flys to get down downs 
sorted. Due to the over the top bar prices ($7 pot of light & $5 pot
of heavy) there'd be no delight from the pub, even if REAR ENTRY
was sent in to negotiate. NORMAL was Walker's Commandant &
phoned in to ask about the Drink-stop - Pizza Hut carpark.
FLOP decided to go & buy a regulation Dan's slab, & down down's
to be undercover at Ray's Outdoors.
Welcomes back for Paul from England, MASTABAIT from NT &
GLIDER - also FANG (but he's not Juri). The bar was 'lowered so
much' that Grog Master CRUTCHLESS was on the floor - SILIC 
thought she was lucky she didn't stick to it.
FOP thought it was the 'Public Holidays Hash' with so many
holidays backed up together.
Screw FASCINATOR took over for the shortest screw ever - about
15 seconds, after his marathon read from the phone last week,
& gave THE BILL a 6.9, so SILIC charged FASCINATOR for the 
'piss weak' effort. THE BILL had a drink for not checking prices
of grog & food for the night, with the Publican - we thought the 
Publican might've been trying to square off his mortgage in
the 1st couple of weeks.
Sergeant SPENCE charged FOP for his down downs at Ray's -
does this mean he's trying to 'Ray's the Bar' again? 
CRUTCHLESS had drinks for the question 'How did FOP &
MASTABAIT get their Hashnames?'
THE BILL, FANG & Paul had a Pre Anzac drink for the Allies,
and MASTABAIT & GLIDER for the old farts at Hash. The fallen
comrades of Hash were recognised - MIDNIGHT, RUSSELL UP
THE PUBLICAN, ARSO, HALF A BRA & HEAVY - BAD HEAD JOB
had a drink & hoped that he wasn't going to be the next!!
CRUTCHLESS charged 'The Silver Fox' SPENCER HOCKING,
because she could only remember 'a James Robertson' at 
school with dark hair!! DUMBER also charged SPENCE for 
having to apologize to our Publican for not getting to his pub
on the Christmas Run, as the Publican had put on extra staff
& food for the visit.
FOP charged FASCINATOR for wearing no Hash gear - instead,
the PRD stove-pipes & pixie boots. CRUTCHLESS was presented
with a singlet top that had painted-on hands to look like breast
supports - but not a lot to support !!
Paul had a drink out of his old/new shoes - DUMBER for his
fairy boots, & SILIC for the beer that was named after him -
'backward nut'. 
SHAFTED had given dog 'Jess' some crook food, so 
CRUTCHESS gave us a demo of dog actions, spinning round
on the floor, with legs in the air like a dying fly.

Nuffsed - next week at HER VAG's place, 703 Latrobe St.,
BYO chair.