Tuesday, December 19, 2017

18 - 12 - '17   Run 1856   Athletic Club

The Pub Crawl Christmas Carol bash was on yet again, &
seems like only yesterday that we had the last. Team Goyne
made the numbers swell to 40'ish. All the Christmas attire
was out of the closet, including HEAD HUNTER's "shagging
Rudolph" outfit (that her arse did look big in !!), MOUNTIE's
Christmas Tree, & everything in between. Of course, 
PLUCKA's short little Santa dress would've been improved
without the bike shorts, but then she did ride the cycle.
FOP had welcomes for "Goynes" Eleanor & Grace (& partner 
Sam), & Vaughan joined in en route. Welcomes back for 
HEAD HUNTER backed away from the 1st songs, then got
the ..... (Hymn, hymn, f*ck hymn). Christmas Run virgins 
helped along by DIMWIT & the visitors.
1st Carol - Little Dumber Boy for drinkers DUMB & NUM.
.... "she used her tongue on me, I'm Dumber she's Num"....
       ( ...only weighs a quarter of a pound Mrs Murphy...).
Onward Hashing Soldiers to the Robin Hood & the Carol
Jingle Bells .... "THE BILLy Goat combs down, SILIC's sack
is light, & BAD HAIR DAY holds his balls tight"......
Oh Come All Ye Faithful ..... "DONUTS oh come ye on my 
face again" ...... was helped along by NUTCRACKER after
...... "the cum on her face", & ROWDY, dunno - no idea!!
             ( .... No, no ...... Bad, bad....).
Silver Bells (from no Number page 8 - the one between 7 & 9),
was for Elder Stateman SS,  .... "& the mother's rush home
with wet (k)nickers" .....!! Also called out was Hash Lyricist
DR ROWDY by MRS D, for, in the absence of the Prince of 
Pomposity BENTNOSE, had to make much of 'nickers'
without the 'k'.
SS charged GLIDER, wondering if he was responsible for
the recent murder in his area, then FASCINATOR to 
HEAD HUNTER for her arse looking big in the Rudolph outfit. 
Mooooving Forward to Skin Ski & BOOTLACE's drink-stop, 
DIMWIT comes across a Yr 12 student & can't remember his
name, but we've assured DIMMY, that "said" student is now 
aware of his Hash name. Out the back, we had a welcome
back for BOOTLACES & then QUICKDICK with his Christmas
burqa, was soon found humping HEADHUNTER's big arse!!
Deck The Halls was next Carol for sheep f*cker HALF A BAR
     ....."f*ck the sheep, it makes him jolly" .... & you can have
one as well HEADHUNTER for ramming Rudolph ... Fa,la,la,la.
PEBBLES was out on his own for Jingle Bell Rock,
    ...."PEBBLES' cock swings while PEBBLES' balls ring" .....
          (Put it in your hand Mrs Murphy, it's got hair on 
            it's neck like a turkey).
HALF A BAR & all the "no Christmas attire" gang were next.
The Sergeant called for BENTNOSE to take them away, &
PLUCKA says, "BENT's not here", ........ you'll do PLUCKA.
SILIC was out there - we thought he had no Christmas gear, 
but he did produce his 2nd ball - a red Christmas bauble.
SPENCER HOCKING's Carol was Hark The Herald .......
 ..."piece of ass & fanny mild, lads & lasses paedophiled" ...,
& SILIC had DR ROWDY out at the same time for writing 
Carols in Medicare time, & as 1 Dr drinks .... you too 
DR DEATH ( you park stealer!!).
At this point, REAR ENTRY & SOS were having a little
'Festive Cuddle' over by the fence, so Santa Claus Is 
Coming To Town ...... 
         ...."REAR ENTRY's thrust will ice your cake" ....
Stay there REARY - & he showed us that he still can't 
remember the Richmond song, & then NORMAL had a drink
for getting there via the kebab bar.
On to the George & a Carol for CRUTCHLESS, with DIMWIT's
help ......    Let It Snow, Let It Snow ....  
            ...... "& her crutch, it likes sauce for topping".
   (She's a mean mother fucker, she's a great cock sucker).
NUTCRACKER's 1st Carol - God Rest Ye Merry Gentleman,
    .... "no need for lubricant, Oh slidings of comfort & joy"..... 
 (She' alright, a little flat-chested, but she's alright), then a 2nd
for NUTCRACKER, joined by MOUNTIE, .... White Christmas ....
         ...... "& may all her Nutcracking excite" .......
        ( ....... She's a great cock sucker, she's a Harriette).
Onward to the Miners, where the lunatic soup was having a 
big effect, so some of these won't work, but let's do 
       Rudolph for DR DEATH & JITTERBUG ......
..."JITTERBUG came by & said "I'll sit on your face tonight" ....
...... & as 1 Goyne drinks, alllll Goynes drink.
Christmas Tree MOUNTIE was next Carol with Silent Night ..... 
      .... "Praise the Lord, I came 1st" ......
        (She's the meanest, she sucks the horse's p*nis).
PLUCKA's Oh Holy Night didn't even get past HALF A BAR's
1,2,3 ? count in, but she did get .... (She's a mean mother 
fucker, she's a great cock sucker ....).
Feliz Navidad hardly got past the beginning either, but they
thought that was probably 'cos it was for FASCINATOR .....
        ..... "Poor me, but now Mummy's fanny's glad" .....
DUMB & DUMBER gave CRUTCHLESS a drink for her not 
complaining about a touch on the arse, then NUM NUM 
charged THE BILL for all of his touchings up!!
DIMWIT's Joy To The World went ok ...."the angels sing,
his reptile's functioning" .... then he told his Dad Joke about,
Winnie the Pooh & Alfred the Great having the same middle 
name ..... (& it spits when you jerk it up & down).
SHAFTED came next & Frosty The Snowman, with a full 
chorus to finish with a rip roaring ...... (sing it thru slowly) 
      ..... Dah da dah dut dut da dah da dah daaaaahh!!
The yr 12's Eleanor (?) & PRECIOUS had a drink to celebrate,
      .....(if it wasn't for your mother, you'd be a spot of cum).
Think at that stage, we were On On to the Athletic for more 
beers, & some chicken, chips, salad & bread, with SILIC 
licking all of the plates clean. Of course, FOP adopted his 
usual stance at the end of the night ie: stripped off to the 
mankini with Ewwww ...... a large amount of "side ball" 
happening !!

Next weeks Run - 1857 - Christmas Night at FOP's Place.

DONUTS celebrates "60" on Jan 20 at 609 State Forest Rd.,
from 6pm. BYO drinks. Band "Damaged Goods". No presents
just your presence. RSVP for catering purposes please.

Monday, December 11, 2017

11 - 12 - '17   Run 1855   Bowling Club

Batwoman MOUNTIE's last stand for the pissy long weekend
to celebrate the 60th. 30+ fronted up to help her celebrate & 
that included some Family (virgins). HEAD HUNTER 
rasped up her throat a bit more, with a half baked effort to
muster up some reverance. FOP welcomed the 'virgins' ("put
your hands up virgins" - we'd like to!!), Maree, Clare & 
ORPHAN ANNIE, then thanked PUSBUCKET for setting the 
run, which PUSBUCKET said was "on the happy side of 4k".
11 athletes (& 1 DR Cyclist) headed off to the hills of the 
North, with a sprinkle of the bushland. Very well marked, to
the point of markers large enough on the oval, to be seen
from space. PEBBLES & DUMB & DUMBER left the pack to
go & stand hand in hand, looking at the city from Black Hill. 
The Drink-stop was at the front of the Club. Sister Clare left
early, & the suggestion was "is she leaving to have sex, like
Sister MOUNTIE, who would only leave Hash early for that
At the circle, FOP's 1st drinks were for virgins Maree, 
ORHAN ANNIE, Batgirl MOUNTIE & a welcome back for 
JITTERBUG.        (They're alright ....... they're alright).
FASCINATOR was looking forward to screwing MOUNTIE,
thinking that he was probably the only one who hadn't.
PUSBUCKET stood up for the run, but not for the screwing.
The fascination level for the 'Oscar Winning Run', was 
'give it an A'.      (S.h.i.t.t.y Trail .......)
Sniffyc*nt runs were for SPENCER HOCKING's 1122 & 
MOUNTIE's 'anal bleaching', after much use of the 
Domestos bottle.             (Get a life ...........)
Sergeant SPENCE charged FASCINATOR for upstaging
him (SPENCE) with the Arab dress-up, then MOUNTIE was
blind-folded, only to find everyone draped with HYMIE masks
that she grabbed one of to dry hump. She had a drink, & as 1
HYMIE drinks ..... all HYMIE's drink ( .. & the boys went down).
DIMWIT had a drink for having to re-hydrate when he arrived
earlier.           (You're stupid .... you're so f*cking dumb).
New shoes drinkers were NUMMY, & to drink from the high 
heels, MOUNTIE, ...... & you can have another one DIMWIT.
MOUNTIE gave PUSBUCKET a drink for the notion of "sex
after 60" (seconds), then to take a drink for "sex after 70",
MOUNTIE was blind-folded again, while they wheeled in
the 'Birthday Cake'. She was hoping for HYMIE to burst out 
of it, but the 'psuedo' removed the HYMIE mask, to reveal 
the bare-chested PUSBUCKET, standing there in the boxers.
                   (Hashy Birthday f*ck you MOUNTIE). 
                   (....... Oh, the wiggle on her arse).
SILIC had a drink for fronting up as his 'Left Ball' (no longer
here!!), NUMMY for spending all day on the bubbly, 
BAD HEAD JOB for thinking Ricky Gervais was Ricky Gervais
& MOUNTIE for a '69' with HYMIE.
QUICKDICK (Goldberg) was called out for giving (Hitler) 
DUMBER dutch ovens, & as 1 Jew drinks ..... you too 
HALF A BAR (Spielvogel) & BENT NOSE (Isaac).
                   (A soldier I'll be ......... ).
DIMWIT had a dad joke for DR ROWDY - birds go to the Dr for
'tweetment', then REAR ENTRY & DR DEATH'S daughter (?)
were out for sitting down during the Circle.
FOP had a charge for Clare (who'd left) .... you'll do 
ORPHAN ANNIE, & as all O'Hallorans drink together, you too 
Maree & MOUNTIE.
SPENCE was walking round in circles, & had no idea why he 
was still carrying his charge drink, & PUSBUCKET charged
PRECIOUS for saying " Golly MOUNTIE, you look a bit like
DUMBER had MOUNTIE & SPENCE out for having the older 
lady colour of 'mauve' on, .... & you too KFC & BENT NOSE.
DR DEATH charged SS for being the Elder of Hash, & after
all this time, still needing his 1st name on his T Shirt in 
capitals, to which they stuck the letter 'P', making it PENIS.
NUMMY presented the 'gift from everyone' to MOUNTIE, that
prompted the 2 of them into a session of a dry hump & roll 
round the floor........ (Hashy Birthday f*ck you MOUNTIE).
Bill of Fare was cold chicken pieces, ham on the bone, 
salads, bread & Birthday Cake, followed by some tuneful (?)

Next weeks run - 1856 - Christmas Carols at Athletic Club.


Monday, December 4, 2017

4 - 12 - '17    Run 1854    Eureka Stockade 

PLUCKA's "Battle of Eureka" run. Early start at 6:00 for the 
Hash 35, to catch the 6:23 to the City. All busy, getting sorted 
with the new T shirts going everywhere. Signing the book,
FASCINATOR said, "Oh good, the year of my birth", (not 1854),
but his Run No 63.
FOP welcomed all, mentioning the year of "The Rebels" 
uprising (what do we want, when do we want it?). New runners
were Americans Ken & Mrs Ken (or should that be Barbie?).
FOP's question, "where do we catch the bus?" ..... umm, at the
bus-stop. The bus off-loaded us all at the main stop in Little 
Bridge, & we all strolled up to the Bakery Hill Flag. MOUNTIE
got busy sorting Runners as soldiers & Walkers as miners,
to be on either side of the flag. BENT NOSE took to the stone 
podium, & did his chant, "These feet, these hands ......" 
A steady walk back to the Stockade, stopping at the Eureka
markers for SPENCER HOCKING to go thru' his spiel, direct
from the Eureka Walk pamphlet. We hadn't realised that 
Carboni's Pizza joint had been going for so long !!!
The Drink-stop (& damper) was at the Stockade Monument, 
with a fair sort of a wait for the runners. Soon, the "battle" was 
on between "soldiers & miners", with plenty of red & white
flour bombs dispersed. 
At the circle, FOP congratulated PLUCKA for a job well done,
a welcome for Just Ken & Just Marg, & welcomes back for
BAR LICKER, HALF A BAR & GLIDER ..... "You're stupid,
you're stupid, you're so f*cking dumb".
Screw FASCINATOR was almost doing cart-wheels at the 
thought of screwing PLUCKA, & thought that there was more
planning put into the night, than for the original Eureka. 
It was a great (hysterical) historical run, with a fascination 
level of 9.69 .... "S.h.i.t.t.y T.r.a.i.l. .. I'd rather drink warm beer".
Sergeant SPENCE had PLUCKA out the front for the No 1854,
as 1+8=9, 5+4=9, so 18 is the digit sum of 9, which is the 
square root of 81, which is the digit sum of 9 !! ..... "Do your
tits hang low, do they wobble to & fro ....." PLUCKA then had
a 'back to back' charge for the run passing by the Vegan cafe.
QUICKDICK was called out for a charge but was absent, so 
you'll do DIMWIT, then BEERFUCK, as a miner, explained that
a 'lead' is a creek full of gold ......... "Why was he born so
          beautiful ...... he's no f*cking use at all".
THE BILL took the soldier's charge, joined by Paul the Pom.
The Rebellion was all about the monarchists & republicans
in that order, so out you come HALF A BAR & MOUNTIE.
On the topic of miners' taxes, BENT NOSE called out SPENCE,
DONUTS, HALF A BAR & NUTCRACKER as our prime suspect
non tax payers, & Ken represented Donald Trump. ..........
         "They're the meanest, they suck the horse's penis".
HALF A BAR stayed out there, as the "wealthy land owner" 
against the miners ...... Hymn, hymn, f*ck hymn.
FASCINATOR said that "Australia did it all in 1854, the 
Americans took till 1860" - out you come Ken & Marg ..........
         "No, no, no, bad, bad, bad ......"
A distraction right here, as FASCINATOR points out the 6 
'couch surfers' walking along Eureka St .... carrying a couch!
BEERFUCK had a charge for the girls of PMT Hash, to make
sure of their "Fannuary" donations ....... "What a wank" ......
GLIDER produced yet another newspaper clip - Stock & Land
no less, for the prize winning HALF A BAR  ............. at last,
          .......... "give us an A".
DUMB & DUMBER charged GLIDER for being the next one in
line to ask "where's the run this week?", then SPENCE to 
HALF A BAR for some bad behaviour, & BAR LICKER for 
being complicit in same.
NORMAL had a charge for HALF A BAR (& ROWDY) - "F*ck off
you're no good at anything. I gave you the job of checking the 
green light on the BBQ, & you handed it on to ROWDY & he's
f*ckin' colour blind!!"
MOUNTIE had some charge for Jess (?), SPENCE to 
'Just Marg' for asking " was Carboni the 1st one to bring in
Pizza?", then FASCINATOR to D&C for the question, "where's
my fanny?"
THE BILL charged HALF A BAR being the only one of us, who
could afford the piece of original flag going up for auction.
FASCINATOR gave ROWDY the redhead charge, & as one 
redhead drinks ... out the front - RANDOLPH, Ali, DIMWIT 
(covered in red flour) & BAD HEAD JOB (just a red 'head' - 
nothing else!!). 
R.A. MOUNTIE had 2 Christenings ... Ken ... arise FAR-KEN,
& Marg ... arise CAROL.
Tasty BBQ of snags & hamburgers, salads & cheese, bread & 
rolls was 'bill of fare' that followed.

Next weeks run - 1855 - Hare the '6' figures Birthday Girl
MOUNTIE, from North Ballarat Bowling Club, with 
Hollywood dress-up. 



Tuesday, November 28, 2017

27 - 11 -'17  Run 1851  Buninyong Pub. 

FASCINATOR's claytons 1851 ( the 1851 run you're having 
when you've already had it !!).
HER VAGESTY was stand-in for the Brisbane Conferencing 
FOP. She thought the Hare had "slipped the collar", but he 
arrived just in time to be 'very' late. Welcome to the 3 virgin 
runners, Jess, Ali & Lynn, & welcome back to Paul the Pom.
FASCINATOR spruiked the long-ish run, & the sniffyc*nts
of the G,G,G,Grandfather of CRUTCHLESS, Thomas Hiscock,
the Blacksmith, finding gold here in 1851.
1st Halt was at the 1854 Hiscock House close by the pub, & 
next we had DIMWIT & CRUTCHLESS standing right on top
of the bull ant's nest. We kept on towards the west, with a 
few hills & a tinge of bush, wondering if there was a bus 
pick-up, but came across the Gold Monument on the corner 
of Hiscock Gully Rd. The Hare was heard calling his own run
quite often by this stage. Another 1.5 km & we were at the
"1851 beer" Drink-stop, near the bridge in Winter St.
HER VAG becomes stand-in again, with the scribe having to
make the early departure. 
Apparently ........ 
PEBBLES was there to screw FASCINATOR (couldn't screw
himself, 'cos things weren't long enough !!) with a fascination
level of 7 out of 8.
Stand-in Sergeant PRECIOUS had charges for the early 
departed BHD, SILIC et al.
PLUCKA was charged for ensuring that there be erections &
mounting at her run next week. (?)
Charge for NORMAL for walking back & forth looking for the 
Drink-stop, & FASCINATOR for the confusing instructions.
Obviously PRECIOUS is too used to water & can't handle the 
beer - becoming a lippy smart-arse & swearing, with calls 
from the circle "not half obvious that he's off the water !!"
MOUNTIE copped a charge for ruining DONUTS' shed carpet,
spilling the red wine lastweek, & DONUTS for not burning 
"the witch" MOUNTIE on the great bonfire.
Finally, a christening. Lynn (being a His - cock descendant
&) on her 1st Hash outing, after the "sex & running & a 
smidgeon of religion" etc ....... arise HER FANNY.

Next weeks' run - what Number now? Hare PLUCKA & 6pm
start for 6.23 bus (?). Meet at Canons on Eureka, M.A.D.E.
carpark, off Stawell St. $20 for run, t shirt, battle & BBQ.
Bring a towel & chair.

Monday, November 20, 2017

20 - 11 - '17   Run 1851   State Forest Rd.

DONUTS' usual bush run & On After at home, that had 30+ 
turn up. 1 stubby en route was enough for 'Ma Draver' to sail
straight thru' the intersection at bitumen's end, to find some 
old rain soaked run markers pinned to trees, sending us 
another 5km into the Enfield Forest. We eventually 
back-tracked to find GLIDER & HALF A BAR  guarding the 
Drink-stop, & proceeded to settle the dust with them. 
No idea of what the run/walk was like, but at least it was 
thru' the bush, in great weather & obviously kept runners & 
walkers pretty well together. PLUCKA & FASCINATOR were 
impressive, sorting out the traffic jam as we left the On On, 
for DONUTS' place. How did THE BILL get to drive 'Kermit'
all that distance on the gravel?
At the circle, FOP 1st called out all the Red Dress Runners,
for a drink on account of the great $650+ collection for the 
Soup Bus.          ..... "They are bastards" .....
Welcomes back to BEERFUCK, PAULINE & PIMP
FASCINATOR was late cumming, but up for a DONUTS screw,
saying "it would be easy with the hole", but then he wouldn't 
be able to touch the sides. A good bush run with a fascination
level of 8.3 with a 1.2 bush bonus.       ..... "Shitty Trail" .....
Sergeant SPENCE's 1st charge - HALF A BAR was looking at 
the Songbook upside down   ..... "Hymn, hymn f*ck hymn" .....
Next came FOP, forgetting GLIDER's 700th run, & not 
handing the $10 vouchers to HER VAG, MOUNTIE, BP &
SPENCE - then came the call of 'inside job' !!
DIMWIT had a drink for walking round the circle, just looking
for new runners, then NUTCRACKER was asked to describe
a 'quick lay' (?)
PRECIOUS was heckled to 'get a life', for coming to Hash 
& not to schoolies - maybe he's a good Hash man !!
GLIDER was there with his copy of The Australian 
(as he does), & went into a long yarn about Mungo Man's
'return to ground' ceremony. The charge turned out to be for
FOP, as the reburial of the Mutti Mutti Man was run by
leader J Kelly, then SS reckoned FOP would be Mango 
Mango Man.
QUICKDICK was out there dropping his pants to reveal
'he's green', then LOIS LANE had CHRIS CROS out for
the gag about "both Sons are gay, so does anyone like a 
woman?" - yes my wife !!
DIMWIT had his right hand bandaged, & being right-handed, 
how was he going to have a wank?
BP had a drink to celebrate being the new Grand Mattress
of PMT Hash, then FOP got the 'Mugabe impeachment charge' -
SOS was almost impeached when he wouldn't leave !!
PEBBLES & BHD were out for some gag (?) about a hairy wife,
then DUMB & DUMBER charged NORMAL for the crossword
clue in The Age - writer of the opera was J Gay.
PIMP had to phone DUMBER for directions, after following
the 'old run' signs, then SILIC had a charge for not picking up
REAR ENTRY - but they said he should have been 
congratulated instead.
(It's getting dark by now & I can't see the pen - where's the
light DONUTS?).
MOUNTIE charged DIMWIT for thinking it was PLUCKA (?),
then DUMBER charged MOUNTIE for laundering the stand-in
jumper & wanting it back again.
FASCINATOR gave FANG a drink for getting them both 
bushed, then BENTNOSE said PLUCKA had never eaten so
much protein in her life, by swallowing that fly. 
      .....'Nipples on her tits'.....
DIMWIT was up to tell us about the Hash run in Saigon & 
FOP had 2 tickets for something more about the Soup Bus.
BBQ snags & steak, with bread, salads & pasta were very 
enjoyable 'around the round' fire.

Next week's run, 1852 - Hare FASCINATOR from
Crown Hotel, Buninyong.

Tuesday, November 14, 2017

13 - 11 - '17   Run 1850   Fish Hatchery

SS's run from his 2nd home, with the Hash 33 fronting up.
FOP reminded us that the Hare had a lot to live up to, with
last year's run getting the "Shit Hot" award, but SS assured
us "not tonight". FOP then welcomed new runner Stewart.
SS described the run as probably 5.5 K, marked left & right, 
& stay on trail. It took us thru' Fairyland, the Wetlands, round
the western end of Lake Gardens, south to the old Clubhouse 
of Ballarat Golf & back along Sturt St to the Drink-stop at the
POW Memorial. SHAFFY asked the question, as he ran his 
hand from the water trickle to the dry, "is this a cold memorial,
or a war(m)emorial - (he's such a cunning stunt!!).
At the circle, FOP welcomed newby Stewart, then welcomed 
back SQUIZZY, HYMIE & DIMWIT. He took a welcome back
himself, after the whirlwind San Fran Conference week.
HEAD HUNTER handed everyone the new H3 Song Book,
& the 1st Responsorial Psalm was Page 1, Song 1,
"You're stupid" etc.
FASCINATOR was there for screwing - 1st of all SHAFTED
& DR DEATH from last week's Melbourne Cup Eve run.
Relying heavily on his "device", he went thru' the whole rant
of a Cup call, with most Hash names getting a guernsey, to
the end tune of "we'll be coming round the outside when
we come". 
Then came the SS screw - fascination level of 15.4 is all we
got, & they said the 2nd screw usually takes the longest -
P5 S2, "S.H.I.T.T.Y. Trail".
Sergeant SPENCE called out NUTCRACKER for Run 15, then
went on & on about "the size of the date plus the penis less 8"
or whatever, & completely lost it. He was back on track with
D&C's run 77, GILF 250, NUMMY 500 (that got a chorus of
"I would walk 500 miles"), GLIDER 699 & MASTABAIT 1369.
We didn't get the full story, but Tommy HALF A BAR got 
locked out while he was fully naked - P3 S1 - "He's the 
meanest, he sucks the horse's ....... ", then DR DEATH had 
another one for HALF A BAR, for the vault of material he 
had to make his suit (?).
DUMB & DUMBER charged DR DEATH for leaving a stick of
sweating dynamite in the car that was to be cleaned out, only
to find a 2nd stick as they "oxy'd" a hole in the body, & as one
Doctor drinks ...... out you come ROWDY.
MOUNTIE had NORMAL & PEBBLES out the front for their
"Chrome & Coffee" show & shine at Sovereign Hill Carpark - 
"could have been doing it on the bonnet".
PEBBLES gave NORMAL a drink for being seen in work 
overalls, actually "doing" some work, then CHRIS CROS to
HALF A BAR for "if the Libs bite the dust, do the medals
have to go back?"
Stewart was out there for his sterling job as Grogmaster
on virgin night, then FANG for only making an appearance at
the Drink-stop, then spending all the time at the circle, 
on his phone.
DR DEATH charged HEAD HUNTER & QUICK DICK for their 
side stepping the main gate & getting a freeby at the 
Mate4Mates Day, then NUTCRACKER was out there again for
showing her pink bits  -  P4 S1  -  "Do your tits hang low, do 
they wobble to & fro'?"
We all had a can of REAR ENTRY's Richmond beer - he said 
he'd take his car tonight, but of course, that's code for,
"I won't be there!!" 
SHAFTED then had SS out for the "penis in his palm"(tree), 
& SOS had a drink for being the next horse owner (or should 
that be loser?). Tidyhorseflesh.com.au
A quick tour of the "youngens" swimming round in their tanks
followed, & then came the banquet table & 20 assorted 
Domino pizzas, quickly inhaled & enjoyed.

Next week's run - 1851 - Hare DONUTS. On on from the end of 
State Forest Road (signs will be out). On after back at his place.

Tuesday, October 31, 2017

30 - 10 -'17   Run 1848   Bull's Eye Cafe

SPENCER HOCKING's run from old Hasher TRICKY MICKY's
Pizza Cafe in Creswick.
FOP welcomed visitors SCRUBBER & GOANNA (put your 
hand up Goanna, but we couldn't).
We had our centurion TEFLON, drinking from the 'inscribed
chalice' for his 100th run.
We almost needed a minute silence for the late arrival of 
NUTCRACKER, cumming in the rear entry.
SPENCE told us to follow the flour & chalk, but didn't mention
the markings half-way up the tree. He wouldn't say how far it
was, but after a few hills & valleys, a couple of creek 
crossings, a bit of jungle & gravel paths, we came across the 
drink-stop, over the road by the memorial (SILIC was soon to 
check out the array of opium poppies at the side).
At the circle, FOP welcomed SCRUBBER & GOANNA again, 
then welcomes back for CRUTCHLESS & TRICKY MICKY, &
as all Micks drink, you too SILIC.
TEFLON was there again for his 100th, JITTERBUG for her
'Greek perfect number' of 28, & CRUTCHLESS 21 (today, 21..).
FASCINATOR began the screwing of SPENCE, mentioning
the lovely historic spot for a run - birthplace of 14th Prime
Minister John Curtain, & REAR ENTRY was instantly
disinterested when he learnt that Curtain was a Labour man.
A great run thru' the bush, that kept runners & walkers
together several times...... 'Shitty Trail'.

..... charges may include, but not limited to ......!!

Sergeant SPENCE 1st charged FASCINATOR for a 
fascinating screw, then called out DAZED & CONFUSED, to
tell us about her most fascinating screw, & as usual,
NORMAL was lurking to take her drink.
Religious Adviser MOUNTIE was out there for a drink, on 
account of arranging good weather, & as she's a 'mick', all
micks drink, so you too TRICKY MICK & SILIC.
JITTERBUG was out there again for her 'perfect number' 28,
& SPENCE added that it was "the digit sum of half the 
square root of the common denominator plus the hypotenuse
of fuck all !!" ie: 1+2+4+7+14 = 28. Both JITTERBUG & TEFLON
then had a drink for their digit sums of 1, & PEBBLES' 444.
TRICKY MICK was a good mate of dear departed HEAVY,
so a rousing rendition of 'Swing Low Sweet Chariot' followed.
         ....... On On HEAVY.
REAR ENTRY had a drink for HEAVY's one time comment,
"You know what I like about you REAR ENTRY? - Nothing".
SPENCE asked SCRUBBER the question, "When did 
GOANNA come out of hibernation?"
DUMB & DUMBER reckoned that "if the charge of the light
horse was on today, SHAFTED would be at the back on
a donkey !!".
JITTERBUG had a charge for her 'big blue' at the Blue Ball,
then LOIS LANE to TRICKY MICK for the large queue of pub
patrons out the front, looking for Hash (to smoke).
SPENCE had a drink for putting trail marks half-way up the
tree, then FASCINATOR for sooking about everyone wanting
only CRUTCHLESS, & not giving a stuff about his 57 runs.
ROWDY charged GOANNA about lots of smelly fingers (?),
then DUMBER called out LOIS for saying run 'over' the
bridge - not too many runs 'under' the bridge.
ROWDY had a drink for sending the wrong info about the
run to SCRUBBER, then DUMBER had a charge for FOP,
over his cancelled visa & post-poned flight.
Last charge was from PEBBLES for SILIC & the death of
Fats Domino - at least we've still got our own Fats Dalziel.
Well done the Bull's Eye Team, for the seemingly endless
supply of tasty pizzas, wedges, chips & salad - thank you.

Next week's run at 6:00pm - Hare SHAFTED from the ANA
building in Camp St. On After at Old Colonist's (Calcutta).

See you in a fortnight !!

Monday, October 23, 2017

23 - 10 -'17   Run 1847   Brown Hill Pub

The Combined Effort Run from "The Brown" (Rear Entry's 
old Office). We had the Hash 40 roll up for the Virgin Hare
NUT CRACKER, the run spruiker DAZED & CONFUSED, &
the run setter, Horn Man PEBBLES.
FOP welcomed 2nd time runners George & Anne "put your
hand up Anne", but we couldn't, she was sitting on a stool.
When D&C rose to spruik the run, the cry was "stand up", 
but she was already. She went on to say "the run is about 5",
"5 what?" asked the chorus. On on out the front, & it was a 
welcome bush run, tho' a figure 8 trail. PEBBLES obviously
quoting the DIMWIT book, said, "at the top of this hill, we go
down". Further on, as they were coming away from a long
on-back on Water St., were THE (BILL & BEN)T NOSE, the 
flower pot men. The run finished at the 'U-tunda' down past
the Pub, with the Cascade Light drink-stop - PUSBUCKET
noticeably absent from the esky.
At the circle, FOP had welcomes for George & Anne, and 
Broken Hill Ben, then welcomes back for SPENCER 
FASCINATOR was there to screw the run, but who does he 
screw? He reckoned a "Trump" run - no-one sets a run like
D&C, but it turned out a "fake" run - not set by the Hare.
The sniffyc*nts of 1847? - the last time a virgin was found
in Ballarat. He said, " a good run, went under the freeway, 
up, round & down the hills". "What do you give a virgin?" 
- "about 10 inches", they said, but FASCINATOR would 
have to do it 10 times!! Fascination level of 8.9, then the 
"Shitty Trail".
Sergeant SPENCE had drinks for the stand-ins during his
absence - BENT NOSE, QUICK DICK & ROWDY, & as all 
DR's drink, you too DR DEATH & JITTERBUG. "You're
stupid ..... you're so f*cking dumb".
CHRIS CROS had a drink for DIMWIT messing up the "time" 
of his recent flight, then PUSBUCKET one for 
SPARTACUS messing up the "day" of his flight.
NUT CRACKER & HALF A BAR were next for the question
"how did you get your name?" - cracking nuts for Tommy
during his haircut.
REAR ENTRY handed out the 'yellow & black' song sheets,
but he still couldn't remember the words, then SILIC charged
him for having song sheets, when everyone already knew the 
song ....... "Him ........ him ....... f*ck him". 
JITTERBUG met that "Dirty Old Clown" ZIG at the Sydney
Hash Bash, then SILIC was out there for losing 2 stone, but
he's really got 1 left.
NUMMY got the arse from her job, but now lecturing at the 
Uni, then the birthday boys had a drink - DUMBER for the 
'69' that was a 68, & BHD to celebrate on 'Guy Hawkes Day'
with THE BILL & the late ARSO ( AH SO?). MOUNTIE was
out there as well, for the PMT 50.
SS charged SHAFTED for the Mining Prospectus that read,
"Rodney Foster - a competent person", then GLIDER 
charged HALF A BAR for looking squeaky clean on 
Landline, but not so in The Weekly Times article, that 
showed the "sheep shaggings in the shearing shed".
D&C wondered why NUTCRACKER & PEBBLES came back
from setting the run "all wet & soggy", then PUSBUCKET
questioned GLIDER on his "sporran".
SPENCE called out Broken Hill Ben for using his phone 
at Hash, & it turned out to be Ben's Birthday as well......
"Hashy Birthday ....... f*ck you".  
BENT NOSE charged NUMMY for her words in the Melbourne
theme song, "heart beats for the red WHITE & blue", then
DR DEATH to BAR LICKER for her saying to him as she 
arrived at the Pub, "Hello you".
SPENCE had FASCINATOR out there for "using" the hole
in the Unwin Barrel, but the f*ckER said the "hole was 
too small", and then CHRIS CROS & MASTABAIT had a drink
for losing by a mile at the trivia night.
That'll do ......

Next week's run - 1848 - Hare SPENCER HOCKING from
Bull's Eye Pizza Cafe, Creswick. Just north of the American.