Monday, December 4, 2017

4 - 12 - '17    Run 1854    Eureka Stockade 

PLUCKA's "Battle of Eureka" run. Early start at 6:00 for the 
Hash 35, to catch the 6:23 to the City. All busy, getting sorted 
with the new T shirts going everywhere. Signing the book,
FASCINATOR said, "Oh good, the year of my birth", (not 1854),
but his Run No 63.
FOP welcomed all, mentioning the year of "The Rebels" 
uprising (what do we want, when do we want it?). New runners
were Americans Ken & Mrs Ken (or should that be Barbie?).
FOP's question, "where do we catch the bus?" ..... umm, at the
bus-stop. The bus off-loaded us all at the main stop in Little 
Bridge, & we all strolled up to the Bakery Hill Flag. MOUNTIE
got busy sorting Runners as soldiers & Walkers as miners,
to be on either side of the flag. BENT NOSE took to the stone 
podium, & did his chant, "These feet, these hands ......" 
A steady walk back to the Stockade, stopping at the Eureka
markers for SPENCER HOCKING to go thru' his spiel, direct
from the Eureka Walk pamphlet. We hadn't realised that 
Carboni's Pizza joint had been going for so long !!!
The Drink-stop (& damper) was at the Stockade Monument, 
with a fair sort of a wait for the runners. Soon, the "battle" was 
on between "soldiers & miners", with plenty of red & white
flour bombs dispersed. 
At the circle, FOP congratulated PLUCKA for a job well done,
a welcome for Just Ken & Just Marg, & welcomes back for
BAR LICKER, HALF A BAR & GLIDER ..... "You're stupid,
you're stupid, you're so f*cking dumb".
Screw FASCINATOR was almost doing cart-wheels at the 
thought of screwing PLUCKA, & thought that there was more
planning put into the night, than for the original Eureka. 
It was a great (hysterical) historical run, with a fascination 
level of 9.69 .... "S.h.i.t.t.y T.r.a.i.l. .. I'd rather drink warm beer".
Sergeant SPENCE had PLUCKA out the front for the No 1854,
as 1+8=9, 5+4=9, so 18 is the digit sum of 9, which is the 
square root of 81, which is the digit sum of 9 !! ..... "Do your
tits hang low, do they wobble to & fro ....." PLUCKA then had
a 'back to back' charge for the run passing by the Vegan cafe.
QUICKDICK was called out for a charge but was absent, so 
you'll do DIMWIT, then BEERFUCK, as a miner, explained that
a 'lead' is a creek full of gold ......... "Why was he born so
          beautiful ...... he's no f*cking use at all".
THE BILL took the soldier's charge, joined by Paul the Pom.
The Rebellion was all about the monarchists & republicans
in that order, so out you come HALF A BAR & MOUNTIE.
On the topic of miners' taxes, BENT NOSE called out SPENCE,
DONUTS, HALF A BAR & NUTCRACKER as our prime suspect
non tax payers, & Ken represented Donald Trump. ..........
         "They're the meanest, they suck the horse's penis".
HALF A BAR stayed out there, as the "wealthy land owner" 
against the miners ...... Hymn, hymn, f*ck hymn.
FASCINATOR said that "Australia did it all in 1854, the 
Americans took till 1860" - out you come Ken & Marg ..........
         "No, no, no, bad, bad, bad ......"
A distraction right here, as FASCINATOR points out the 6 
'couch surfers' walking along Eureka St .... carrying a couch!
BEERFUCK had a charge for the girls of PMT Hash, to make
sure of their "Fannuary" donations ....... "What a wank" ......
GLIDER produced yet another newspaper clip - Stock & Land
no less, for the prize winning HALF A BAR  ............. at last,
          .......... "give us an A".
DUMB & DUMBER charged GLIDER for being the next one in
line to ask "where's the run this week?", then SPENCE to 
HALF A BAR for some bad behaviour, & BAR LICKER for 
being complicit in same.
NORMAL had a charge for HALF A BAR (& ROWDY) - "F*ck off
you're no good at anything. I gave you the job of checking the 
green light on the BBQ, & you handed it on to ROWDY & he's
f*ckin' colour blind!!"
MOUNTIE had some charge for Jess (?), SPENCE to 
'Just Marg' for asking " was Carboni the 1st one to bring in
Pizza?", then FASCINATOR to D&C for the question, "where's
my fanny?"
THE BILL charged HALF A BAR being the only one of us, who
could afford the piece of original flag going up for auction.
FASCINATOR gave ROWDY the redhead charge, & as one 
redhead drinks ... out the front - RANDOLPH, Ali, DIMWIT 
(covered in red flour) & BAD HEAD JOB (just a red 'head' - 
nothing else!!). 
R.A. MOUNTIE had 2 Christenings ... Ken ... arise FAR-KEN,
& Marg ... arise CAROL.
Tasty BBQ of snags & hamburgers, salads & cheese, bread & 
rolls was 'bill of fare' that followed.

Next weeks run - 1855 - Hare the '6' figures Birthday Girl
MOUNTIE, from North Ballarat Bowling Club, with 
Hollywood dress-up. 



Tuesday, November 28, 2017

27 - 11 -'17  Run 1851  Buninyong Pub. 

FASCINATOR's claytons 1851 ( the 1851 run you're having 
when you've already had it !!).
HER VAGESTY was stand-in for the Brisbane Conferencing 
FOP. She thought the Hare had "slipped the collar", but he 
arrived just in time to be 'very' late. Welcome to the 3 virgin 
runners, Jess, Ali & Lynn, & welcome back to Paul the Pom.
FASCINATOR spruiked the long-ish run, & the sniffyc*nts
of the G,G,G,Grandfather of CRUTCHLESS, Thomas Hiscock,
the Blacksmith, finding gold here in 1851.
1st Halt was at the 1854 Hiscock House close by the pub, & 
next we had DIMWIT & CRUTCHLESS standing right on top
of the bull ant's nest. We kept on towards the west, with a 
few hills & a tinge of bush, wondering if there was a bus 
pick-up, but came across the Gold Monument on the corner 
of Hiscock Gully Rd. The Hare was heard calling his own run
quite often by this stage. Another 1.5 km & we were at the
"1851 beer" Drink-stop, near the bridge in Winter St.
HER VAG becomes stand-in again, with the scribe having to
make the early departure. 
Apparently ........ 
PEBBLES was there to screw FASCINATOR (couldn't screw
himself, 'cos things weren't long enough !!) with a fascination
level of 7 out of 8.
Stand-in Sergeant PRECIOUS had charges for the early 
departed BHD, SILIC et al.
PLUCKA was charged for ensuring that there be erections &
mounting at her run next week. (?)
Charge for NORMAL for walking back & forth looking for the 
Drink-stop, & FASCINATOR for the confusing instructions.
Obviously PRECIOUS is too used to water & can't handle the 
beer - becoming a lippy smart-arse & swearing, with calls 
from the circle "not half obvious that he's off the water !!"
MOUNTIE copped a charge for ruining DONUTS' shed carpet,
spilling the red wine lastweek, & DONUTS for not burning 
"the witch" MOUNTIE on the great bonfire.
Finally, a christening. Lynn (being a His - cock descendant
&) on her 1st Hash outing, after the "sex & running & a 
smidgeon of religion" etc ....... arise HER FANNY.

Next weeks' run - what Number now? Hare PLUCKA & 6pm
start for 6.23 bus (?). Meet at Canons on Eureka, M.A.D.E.
carpark, off Stawell St. $20 for run, t shirt, battle & BBQ.
Bring a towel & chair.

Monday, November 20, 2017

20 - 11 - '17   Run 1851   State Forest Rd.

DONUTS' usual bush run & On After at home, that had 30+ 
turn up. 1 stubby en route was enough for 'Ma Draver' to sail
straight thru' the intersection at bitumen's end, to find some 
old rain soaked run markers pinned to trees, sending us 
another 5km into the Enfield Forest. We eventually 
back-tracked to find GLIDER & HALF A BAR  guarding the 
Drink-stop, & proceeded to settle the dust with them. 
No idea of what the run/walk was like, but at least it was 
thru' the bush, in great weather & obviously kept runners & 
walkers pretty well together. PLUCKA & FASCINATOR were 
impressive, sorting out the traffic jam as we left the On On, 
for DONUTS' place. How did THE BILL get to drive 'Kermit'
all that distance on the gravel?
At the circle, FOP 1st called out all the Red Dress Runners,
for a drink on account of the great $650+ collection for the 
Soup Bus.          ..... "They are bastards" .....
Welcomes back to BEERFUCK, PAULINE & PIMP
FASCINATOR was late cumming, but up for a DONUTS screw,
saying "it would be easy with the hole", but then he wouldn't 
be able to touch the sides. A good bush run with a fascination
level of 8.3 with a 1.2 bush bonus.       ..... "Shitty Trail" .....
Sergeant SPENCE's 1st charge - HALF A BAR was looking at 
the Songbook upside down   ..... "Hymn, hymn f*ck hymn" .....
Next came FOP, forgetting GLIDER's 700th run, & not 
handing the $10 vouchers to HER VAG, MOUNTIE, BP &
SPENCE - then came the call of 'inside job' !!
DIMWIT had a drink for walking round the circle, just looking
for new runners, then NUTCRACKER was asked to describe
a 'quick lay' (?)
PRECIOUS was heckled to 'get a life', for coming to Hash 
& not to schoolies - maybe he's a good Hash man !!
GLIDER was there with his copy of The Australian 
(as he does), & went into a long yarn about Mungo Man's
'return to ground' ceremony. The charge turned out to be for
FOP, as the reburial of the Mutti Mutti Man was run by
leader J Kelly, then SS reckoned FOP would be Mango 
Mango Man.
QUICKDICK was out there dropping his pants to reveal
'he's green', then LOIS LANE had CHRIS CROS out for
the gag about "both Sons are gay, so does anyone like a 
woman?" - yes my wife !!
DIMWIT had his right hand bandaged, & being right-handed, 
how was he going to have a wank?
BP had a drink to celebrate being the new Grand Mattress
of PMT Hash, then FOP got the 'Mugabe impeachment charge' -
SOS was almost impeached when he wouldn't leave !!
PEBBLES & BHD were out for some gag (?) about a hairy wife,
then DUMB & DUMBER charged NORMAL for the crossword
clue in The Age - writer of the opera was J Gay.
PIMP had to phone DUMBER for directions, after following
the 'old run' signs, then SILIC had a charge for not picking up
REAR ENTRY - but they said he should have been 
congratulated instead.
(It's getting dark by now & I can't see the pen - where's the
light DONUTS?).
MOUNTIE charged DIMWIT for thinking it was PLUCKA (?),
then DUMBER charged MOUNTIE for laundering the stand-in
jumper & wanting it back again.
FASCINATOR gave FANG a drink for getting them both 
bushed, then BENTNOSE said PLUCKA had never eaten so
much protein in her life, by swallowing that fly. 
      .....'Nipples on her tits'.....
DIMWIT was up to tell us about the Hash run in Saigon & 
FOP had 2 tickets for something more about the Soup Bus.
BBQ snags & steak, with bread, salads & pasta were very 
enjoyable 'around the round' fire.

Next week's run, 1852 - Hare FASCINATOR from
Crown Hotel, Buninyong.

Tuesday, November 14, 2017

13 - 11 - '17   Run 1850   Fish Hatchery

SS's run from his 2nd home, with the Hash 33 fronting up.
FOP reminded us that the Hare had a lot to live up to, with
last year's run getting the "Shit Hot" award, but SS assured
us "not tonight". FOP then welcomed new runner Stewart.
SS described the run as probably 5.5 K, marked left & right, 
& stay on trail. It took us thru' Fairyland, the Wetlands, round
the western end of Lake Gardens, south to the old Clubhouse 
of Ballarat Golf & back along Sturt St to the Drink-stop at the
POW Memorial. SHAFFY asked the question, as he ran his 
hand from the water trickle to the dry, "is this a cold memorial,
or a war(m)emorial - (he's such a cunning stunt!!).
At the circle, FOP welcomed newby Stewart, then welcomed 
back SQUIZZY, HYMIE & DIMWIT. He took a welcome back
himself, after the whirlwind San Fran Conference week.
HEAD HUNTER handed everyone the new H3 Song Book,
& the 1st Responsorial Psalm was Page 1, Song 1,
"You're stupid" etc.
FASCINATOR was there for screwing - 1st of all SHAFTED
& DR DEATH from last week's Melbourne Cup Eve run.
Relying heavily on his "device", he went thru' the whole rant
of a Cup call, with most Hash names getting a guernsey, to
the end tune of "we'll be coming round the outside when
we come". 
Then came the SS screw - fascination level of 15.4 is all we
got, & they said the 2nd screw usually takes the longest -
P5 S2, "S.H.I.T.T.Y. Trail".
Sergeant SPENCE called out NUTCRACKER for Run 15, then
went on & on about "the size of the date plus the penis less 8"
or whatever, & completely lost it. He was back on track with
D&C's run 77, GILF 250, NUMMY 500 (that got a chorus of
"I would walk 500 miles"), GLIDER 699 & MASTABAIT 1369.
We didn't get the full story, but Tommy HALF A BAR got 
locked out while he was fully naked - P3 S1 - "He's the 
meanest, he sucks the horse's ....... ", then DR DEATH had 
another one for HALF A BAR, for the vault of material he 
had to make his suit (?).
DUMB & DUMBER charged DR DEATH for leaving a stick of
sweating dynamite in the car that was to be cleaned out, only
to find a 2nd stick as they "oxy'd" a hole in the body, & as one
Doctor drinks ...... out you come ROWDY.
MOUNTIE had NORMAL & PEBBLES out the front for their
"Chrome & Coffee" show & shine at Sovereign Hill Carpark - 
"could have been doing it on the bonnet".
PEBBLES gave NORMAL a drink for being seen in work 
overalls, actually "doing" some work, then CHRIS CROS to
HALF A BAR for "if the Libs bite the dust, do the medals
have to go back?"
Stewart was out there for his sterling job as Grogmaster
on virgin night, then FANG for only making an appearance at
the Drink-stop, then spending all the time at the circle, 
on his phone.
DR DEATH charged HEAD HUNTER & QUICK DICK for their 
side stepping the main gate & getting a freeby at the 
Mate4Mates Day, then NUTCRACKER was out there again for
showing her pink bits  -  P4 S1  -  "Do your tits hang low, do 
they wobble to & fro'?"
We all had a can of REAR ENTRY's Richmond beer - he said 
he'd take his car tonight, but of course, that's code for,
"I won't be there!!" 
SHAFTED then had SS out for the "penis in his palm"(tree), 
& SOS had a drink for being the next horse owner (or should 
that be loser?).
A quick tour of the "youngens" swimming round in their tanks
followed, & then came the banquet table & 20 assorted 
Domino pizzas, quickly inhaled & enjoyed.

Next week's run - 1851 - Hare DONUTS. On on from the end of 
State Forest Road (signs will be out). On after back at his place.

Tuesday, October 31, 2017

30 - 10 -'17   Run 1848   Bull's Eye Cafe

SPENCER HOCKING's run from old Hasher TRICKY MICKY's
Pizza Cafe in Creswick.
FOP welcomed visitors SCRUBBER & GOANNA (put your 
hand up Goanna, but we couldn't).
We had our centurion TEFLON, drinking from the 'inscribed
chalice' for his 100th run.
We almost needed a minute silence for the late arrival of 
NUTCRACKER, cumming in the rear entry.
SPENCE told us to follow the flour & chalk, but didn't mention
the markings half-way up the tree. He wouldn't say how far it
was, but after a few hills & valleys, a couple of creek 
crossings, a bit of jungle & gravel paths, we came across the 
drink-stop, over the road by the memorial (SILIC was soon to 
check out the array of opium poppies at the side).
At the circle, FOP welcomed SCRUBBER & GOANNA again, 
then welcomes back for CRUTCHLESS & TRICKY MICKY, &
as all Micks drink, you too SILIC.
TEFLON was there again for his 100th, JITTERBUG for her
'Greek perfect number' of 28, & CRUTCHLESS 21 (today, 21..).
FASCINATOR began the screwing of SPENCE, mentioning
the lovely historic spot for a run - birthplace of 14th Prime
Minister John Curtain, & REAR ENTRY was instantly
disinterested when he learnt that Curtain was a Labour man.
A great run thru' the bush, that kept runners & walkers
together several times...... 'Shitty Trail'.

..... charges may include, but not limited to ......!!

Sergeant SPENCE 1st charged FASCINATOR for a 
fascinating screw, then called out DAZED & CONFUSED, to
tell us about her most fascinating screw, & as usual,
NORMAL was lurking to take her drink.
Religious Adviser MOUNTIE was out there for a drink, on 
account of arranging good weather, & as she's a 'mick', all
micks drink, so you too TRICKY MICK & SILIC.
JITTERBUG was out there again for her 'perfect number' 28,
& SPENCE added that it was "the digit sum of half the 
square root of the common denominator plus the hypotenuse
of fuck all !!" ie: 1+2+4+7+14 = 28. Both JITTERBUG & TEFLON
then had a drink for their digit sums of 1, & PEBBLES' 444.
TRICKY MICK was a good mate of dear departed HEAVY,
so a rousing rendition of 'Swing Low Sweet Chariot' followed.
         ....... On On HEAVY.
REAR ENTRY had a drink for HEAVY's one time comment,
"You know what I like about you REAR ENTRY? - Nothing".
SPENCE asked SCRUBBER the question, "When did 
GOANNA come out of hibernation?"
DUMB & DUMBER reckoned that "if the charge of the light
horse was on today, SHAFTED would be at the back on
a donkey !!".
JITTERBUG had a charge for her 'big blue' at the Blue Ball,
then LOIS LANE to TRICKY MICK for the large queue of pub
patrons out the front, looking for Hash (to smoke).
SPENCE had a drink for putting trail marks half-way up the
tree, then FASCINATOR for sooking about everyone wanting
only CRUTCHLESS, & not giving a stuff about his 57 runs.
ROWDY charged GOANNA about lots of smelly fingers (?),
then DUMBER called out LOIS for saying run 'over' the
bridge - not too many runs 'under' the bridge.
ROWDY had a drink for sending the wrong info about the
run to SCRUBBER, then DUMBER had a charge for FOP,
over his cancelled visa & post-poned flight.
Last charge was from PEBBLES for SILIC & the death of
Fats Domino - at least we've still got our own Fats Dalziel.
Well done the Bull's Eye Team, for the seemingly endless
supply of tasty pizzas, wedges, chips & salad - thank you.

Next week's run at 6:00pm - Hare SHAFTED from the ANA
building in Camp St. On After at Old Colonist's (Calcutta).

See you in a fortnight !!

Monday, October 23, 2017

23 - 10 -'17   Run 1847   Brown Hill Pub

The Combined Effort Run from "The Brown" (Rear Entry's 
old Office). We had the Hash 40 roll up for the Virgin Hare
NUT CRACKER, the run spruiker DAZED & CONFUSED, &
the run setter, Horn Man PEBBLES.
FOP welcomed 2nd time runners George & Anne "put your
hand up Anne", but we couldn't, she was sitting on a stool.
When D&C rose to spruik the run, the cry was "stand up", 
but she was already. She went on to say "the run is about 5",
"5 what?" asked the chorus. On on out the front, & it was a 
welcome bush run, tho' a figure 8 trail. PEBBLES obviously
quoting the DIMWIT book, said, "at the top of this hill, we go
down". Further on, as they were coming away from a long
on-back on Water St., were THE (BILL & BEN)T NOSE, the 
flower pot men. The run finished at the 'U-tunda' down past
the Pub, with the Cascade Light drink-stop - PUSBUCKET
noticeably absent from the esky.
At the circle, FOP had welcomes for George & Anne, and 
Broken Hill Ben, then welcomes back for SPENCER 
FASCINATOR was there to screw the run, but who does he 
screw? He reckoned a "Trump" run - no-one sets a run like
D&C, but it turned out a "fake" run - not set by the Hare.
The sniffyc*nts of 1847? - the last time a virgin was found
in Ballarat. He said, " a good run, went under the freeway, 
up, round & down the hills". "What do you give a virgin?" 
- "about 10 inches", they said, but FASCINATOR would 
have to do it 10 times!! Fascination level of 8.9, then the 
"Shitty Trail".
Sergeant SPENCE had drinks for the stand-ins during his
absence - BENT NOSE, QUICK DICK & ROWDY, & as all 
DR's drink, you too DR DEATH & JITTERBUG. "You're
stupid ..... you're so f*cking dumb".
CHRIS CROS had a drink for DIMWIT messing up the "time" 
of his recent flight, then PUSBUCKET one for 
SPARTACUS messing up the "day" of his flight.
NUT CRACKER & HALF A BAR were next for the question
"how did you get your name?" - cracking nuts for Tommy
during his haircut.
REAR ENTRY handed out the 'yellow & black' song sheets,
but he still couldn't remember the words, then SILIC charged
him for having song sheets, when everyone already knew the 
song ....... "Him ........ him ....... f*ck him". 
JITTERBUG met that "Dirty Old Clown" ZIG at the Sydney
Hash Bash, then SILIC was out there for losing 2 stone, but
he's really got 1 left.
NUMMY got the arse from her job, but now lecturing at the 
Uni, then the birthday boys had a drink - DUMBER for the 
'69' that was a 68, & BHD to celebrate on 'Guy Hawkes Day'
with THE BILL & the late ARSO ( AH SO?). MOUNTIE was
out there as well, for the PMT 50.
SS charged SHAFTED for the Mining Prospectus that read,
"Rodney Foster - a competent person", then GLIDER 
charged HALF A BAR for looking squeaky clean on 
Landline, but not so in The Weekly Times article, that 
showed the "sheep shaggings in the shearing shed".
D&C wondered why NUTCRACKER & PEBBLES came back
from setting the run "all wet & soggy", then PUSBUCKET
questioned GLIDER on his "sporran".
SPENCE called out Broken Hill Ben for using his phone 
at Hash, & it turned out to be Ben's Birthday as well......
"Hashy Birthday ....... f*ck you".  
BENT NOSE charged NUMMY for her words in the Melbourne
theme song, "heart beats for the red WHITE & blue", then
DR DEATH to BAR LICKER for her saying to him as she 
arrived at the Pub, "Hello you".
SPENCE had FASCINATOR out there for "using" the hole
in the Unwin Barrel, but the f*ckER said the "hole was 
too small", and then CHRIS CROS & MASTABAIT had a drink
for losing by a mile at the trivia night.
That'll do ......

Next week's run - 1848 - Hare SPENCER HOCKING from
Bull's Eye Pizza Cafe, Creswick. Just north of the American.

Tuesday, October 17, 2017

16 - 10 - '17     Run 1846     441 Doveton St

SOS's run from home with some good weather for a change.
FOP welcomed the Hash 35 for the run in the sunshine.
The Hare assured us that it was a pretty cool run & up there
for the best of the year. It would be a good 5 km, with a few
on-backs & a Drink-stop. As expected, a run thru' the streets
up North, that included up & down Black Hill, then back to the
well stocked VB Drink-stop, with lollies & chips, amongst the
skips at MacArthur St School. After a can (or NORMAL's 2), we
grabbed a traveller to get us all the way across Doveton, as we
watched DR DEATH & the Engel, ride the bonnet of the old Toyota 
to cross the street - what could've gone wrong Your Honour?
"Little boys & bread rolls" were the pre-dinner snacks, to which 
the Hare received a charge for "food before the Circle", 
NORMAL for taking 2 savs per roll  ..... "Him, him, ... f*ck him'.
FOP had welcomes back for TEFLON from O.S., BP, BENT NOSE,
FANG, & FASCINATOR (& MOUNTIE because she's always 
cumming) .... "Stupid .... so f*ckin' dumb".
At last we had the real Screw FASCINATOR. He said how pooch 
'Chicken' had been attacked on the run by a poodle, then 
mentioned how the house renno was f*cked, with no wall sheets,
(bit of Tidy 'substance' money put to good use tho'), & that, as 
soon as SOS took his hat off to reveal the hair style, it proved
everything. A Fascination level of 6.9 !! ..... S.H.I.T.T.Y trail.
charged for their Hash Training Run at the Melbourne marathon, 
then MOUNTIE bought the Old Man PUSBUCKET a drink for his
having 41 beers - one for each 'K' of the marathon.
HEAD HUNTER was also quick to buy the Old Man QUICK DICK
a drink, saying it was the funniest he'd ever been, but NORMAL
gave her a charge back, saying "QUICK DICK can't be too bad,
he married you, you stupid bitch". 
MOUNTIE was up next for a fight about an on-back, then D&C
who kept on running past some people she knew - of course,
her stand-in drinker NORMAL took that one.
DR DEATH breached his Community Corrections Order by 
running round the school, & of course as all DR's drink, out
you come ROWDY.
NUMMY charged SILIC ( or was that Harry Butler?) for, after
removing his hat, looking like that feller Harvey "Winecask",
then ROWDY had PAULINE & HALF A BAR out for looking like 
they had swapped shirts for the night - the long on the short.
BENT NOSE was disgusted with both Dr's for no response to 
his post about eating pussy .... You're ugly ... you're ugly !!
Both QUICK DICK & PUSBUCKET had a drink for recently 
coming home "the drunkest they'd ever been", then, ROWDY
wanted to know if PLUCKA had "sand in it", after playing
volleyball & missing 2 runs. 
MOUNTIE charged SOS for letting 'Chicken' get bloated, after
free-wheeling round the table looking for cast-offs, then DIMWIT
had his "positive" charge for ROWDY, after ROWDY helped him
avoid some dog shit on the run.
DIMWIT stayed front & centre, as PEBBLES recalled him saying
at the top of Black Hill, "looks like we go down from here".
ROWDY had charges for REAR ENTRY for yet another 'fail',
not knowing the theme song, & LOIS LANE for the consolation
of the New Zulland losers.

That'll do - thanks HEAD HUNTER, didn't have to suffer "it" once.

Great tucker at the 'festive board' - ham on the bone, bread, 
pineapple & cheese, & plenty of it, topped of with cakes via
the PMT 50 - thank 'youse'.

Next week's run - Hare's (might be brazilian) NUT CRACKER &
D&C from Brown Hill Pub.

Wednesday, October 11, 2017

9 - 10 -'17    Run 1845    Miner's Tavern

SPARTACUS the Hare for another run from the Office, with 
about 24 loyal Hashers in tow. FOP was there for the early
meet & greet, then handed over to Stand-in GM NUM NUM.
She welcomed back FLUID MOVEMENT & PAULINE, then 
called on the Hare for details.
SPARTACUS assured us the run was well marked, left, right
& all thru' the fabulous North.
After a couple of hills & on-backs, trail eluded most from 
about Howitt St, & the run was aborted, only to find the 
welcome drink-stop back at the Office, down stairs.
At the circle, NUMMY welcomed back (in her own words),
"that Canberrian" FLUID, LOIS LANE, PRECIOUS &
NUM called out NUT CRACKER & claimed she should be
renamed Ball Breaker. She had her L A shirt on, so 
SHAFTED took her away with "Lar lar la lar lar".
Next we had the foursome, D & C, NUT CRACKER, ROWDY
Stand in Screw D & C was there to screw SPARTACUS for
a run that she described as, "after Lydiard St, went down
like a withdrawn erection" - all down hill. She went on,
"it was completely f*cked, just like a dead bird." 3 out of 10.
As D & C left the screw's podium, then came the question, 
"would NUT CRACKER be a good screw?"
Stand in Sergeant PRECIOUS gave NUMMY a drink & thanks
for standing up as GM, trying to "raise the bar" again, then
as Tom Petty left us this week, we are still left with SILIC.
A charge for NUMMY, something about Bathurst wet & dry,
& then that bloody "Oughta be publicly...."     Aaaargh.
NORMAL was absent (who cheered?), so you'll do DONUTS,
for NORMAL being happy that the Yes vote is nearly done,
& as all Nuts drink - out you come NUT CRACKER.
PEBBLES charged REAR ENTRY. He sent R.E. the words
of the Richmond song & REARY still had to read it from
the phone - FAIL !! We did have one of the Office bar flys,
(another Stand-in) to sing along & have a drink for the 
yellow & black. REAR ENTRY had another, this time from
SHAFTED who was sure that the problem was his 
attention span.
MOUNTIE & PLUCKA had another Bathurst drink, for the 
sports cars they both drive, and then ..... another bloody 
"Oughta be public ....." - where the hell are you when I 
need you HEAD HUNTER ?? 
PRECIOUS had a charge for MOUNTIE with 'nits' in her
jocks, then NUMMY to PEBBLES for wanting to shag
everything in sight.
LOIS LANE had SHAFTED out the front for wanting all
the walkers to pick up the grass clip at his office ........
"you're stupid  ...... so f*ckin' dumb".
On the run, just by Seymours, someone on the street
asked MOUNTIE if she'd lost a dog - her reply " No, Snag's
only away, he's not lost !!" - come & have PUSBUCKET's
drink DUMB & DUMBER.
DONUTS called out PRECIOUS for claiming he could 'see'
all the unmarked on-backs, then JITTERBUG had a drink
for saying she had a 'Man' to do all her work.
MOUNTIE had just had a brazilian done, both sides this 
time, & then ROWDY had a 'serious' charge for HALF A BAR's
asking 'What's a brazilian?" That got PEBBLES to charge
both NUT CRACKER & HALF A BAR for "how much is a 
brazilian & how long does it take?"
Just then, HALF A BAR trotted out the 'Dad Joke of the Week',
- the everything I touch is sore blonde - "no darling, you've
only got a sore finger. Out the front ROWDY .... & as all Dr's
drink, you too DR DEATH.
SHAFTED wanted to know when the number of Hash runs
match up with the years, so our (I've got nothing else to do)
GLIDER did the sums, & reckons it's some time in 2021,
but who'll be the GM?
Final charge was for JITTERBUG having nothing beneath 
her shirt apart from the 2 heaving .......! There was quite a 
bit of after dinner wrestling tho' with MOUNTIE trying to
rip CLITTER's shirt off, to a chorus of "show us yer tits".

Next week's run - Hare SOS from home, 441 Doveton Nth.

Monday, October 2, 2017

2 - 10 -'17   Run 1844   Nuggety Dam

ROWDY's "Rainbow Theme of Love" run, full of the
technicolour & Where's Wally dress-ups - even a lovely
little butterfly with a BENT NOSE. That same little 
butterfly was seen to "take a dive" whilst trying to 
launch a rainbow kite into a tree. 
About 26 attendees - 11 off for a bush run, 2 "chefs"
left to scrape the rust off the BBQ plate, & I s'pose the
rest off for a walk, if only to the drink-stop, SILIC.
BHD led the athletes away from most of the on-backs,
( ahmm - see what I did then?), 'led them away',
er ...  last to arrive leads them away.
We found a well stocked foam esky behind a tree
somewhere, full of Furphys. On home, & everyone
latched onto some firewood to have a go at being a
pyro, & build the camp fire, very close to the "burnt
Hash tree" from years past - soon it was a roarer.
FOP had welcomes back for intrepid campers NORMAL
& MASTABAIT, back from FNQ, CHRIS CROS from
Noosa, DR DEATH from O.S. & the sickly SHAFTED
DONUTS from their death beds....... "They are piss pots
so they say ......." 
Sniffyc*nt runs for Katrina's 'lovely legs 11', & ROWDY's
somewhere in between 3 lovely legs.
Stand - in Screw PEBBLES, complete with headband
blindfold, gave the run a '13', for at last having a bush 
run & BBQ, even tho' it was up & down hills, but 
at least it was in the daylight, & we managed to dodge
all of the mineshafts.
Yet another Stand - in was Grogmaster PLUCKA.
Stand - in Sergeant BENT NOSE's 1st charge was for 
the absent DUMB & DUMBER - "you'll do PEBBLES",
- something (?) about crackers in the car upsetting
MOUNTIE charged 'little butterfly' BENT, for going 
arse over head with the kite launch, then REAR ENTRY
(feckin' hopeless) for not knowing the Yellow & Black 
theme song, & all the whingers complaining about the 
'away strip'....... "you're stupid ..... so feckin' dumb ....!!"
PLUCKA & THE BILL left their cars at 5 Ways, & had 
their personal chauffeur GLIDER drive them in. Not 
much light at the BBQ site - not even a 'candle lit' 
table for 2.
PEBBLES had 2 drinks - 1 for something (?) about no 
cars on Friday, another for the "blind going down 
on him".
MOUNTIE charged BHD for asking PLUCKA "was it 
come or cum" this way during the run, then BENT 
charged NORMAL - 1st for being Gay, then for trying 
to take over as soon as he got back from his trip.
DR DEATH got 2 drinks - 1 for the 'woody on the run', 
then the phone tucked in the sock at the Master's 
Games...... &, as all Doctors drink together .......... 
up you come ROWDY.
NORMAL then went into a whole epistle about the trip
away, just to give old mate MASTABAIT a drink. They'd
arranged to meet up down the track in a couple of hours.
MASTABAIT headed off 1st & should've been in front, 
but went the opposite direction, & finished up a 
couple of hours behind.
HEAD HUNTER, Katrina (or was that DONUTS?), & 
ROWDY had Birthday drinks, then "real" Religious
Advisor MOUNTIE took over the spotlight with a 
Christening for Katrina .... "enjoy the sex & running"
......... arise ..... NUT CRACKER.

Next week's run, SPARTACUS from somewhere -
TBA ... bet it's from the 'Office'.