28 - 1 - '19     Run 1916    North Gardens

Hash 30 for the Straya Day hol. - 10 Walkers, couple of 
Bar Flys & the rest - Super Athletes. Some resplendent in
Straya Gear, the GM complete with the green/yellow lei. He
assisted with the run set - said that it was about 5k & mostly 
in the shade.
The Drink-stop was parked a bit further north than the  
No Alcohol signs, & that's where we met 'Poiter', dropping
in for some refreshment. 
Back at the Circle, PEBBLES had welcomes back for Tiarni,
LOIS LANE, ROWDY, SILIC & SQUIZZY.
                      (There's a game called 20 toes ....... ),
             ably led by TEFLON reading from the songbook.
MOUNTIE was up for a  PEBBLES screw, saying that the trail
was lack lustre, RANDOLPH was in everyone's way, & the 
water fountains along the way were the same height as
SHAFTED's dick. The run board didn't surface, but the
limerick ..... "PEBBLES oversaw this north gardens disaster,
no Committee has fucked the Hash faster".
                                (Shitty Trail ......... ).
The new "hot guy" (Poiter) had fucked off, so Tiarni had
his drink.
               (A soldier ........ to piss ........ for cunt-ry ..... ).
Sergeant SHAFTED asked MOUNTIE about the sniffycunts
of 1916 - of course, his reason - the Daintree river is the
highest it's been since 1916.
More sniffycunts - the runs. Tiarni 5, IMMACULATE 
CONCEPTION 33, PLUCKA 212 & SPENCER HOCKING 1161.
....... PLUCKA's middle name - A-nnette, so she could go
fishing !!
LOIS LANE had a drink to celebrate New Zulland's 'Why
tongue a fanny' day, & then CHRIS CROS had a charge for
newly diagnosed celiac, FOP, & as all ce-lics drink, you
too SILIC.
                          (You're stupid ......... ).
BITCHFACE charged MOUNTIE for being 'rejected' by 
BIG DOG, but a rebound, as the BITCH... didn't get
a 'lick' in.
FOP charged HER VAG for taking him to a beer fest, since
now he can't drink beer, & DUMB(ER) & DUMBER charged
PEBBLES for being late to set the run.
                         (What a wank ............. ).
SPENCE charged SILIC for only barely managing a walk to
the Drink-stop, & NUMMY charged PEBBLES for the people
on the 'fun' run.
                (Put it in your hand Mrs Murphy .......... ).
MOUNTIE charged NUM & DUMB for the 'hat over the penis'
gag. "You should raise your hat for a lady" - "if you weren't 
so ugly it would raise itself!!"
SHAFFY had Peggy & THE BILL drink together for the 
swapped shirts.
                           (She's the meanest .............. ).
NORMAL charged Peggy for getting PRECIOUS to drink
out of her new shoes, & then IMMACULATE was out for new
shoes as well.
SPARTACUS had a drink for his question about the pile of 
vomit - 'was it viral or alcoholic?'
                            (Hymn, fuck hymn ........... ).
ROWDY charged SILIC for peeing in public, & then NUMMY
had a drink for 'invasion day'.
                    (His one skin hangs down ........... ).
Religious Adviser D&C had Tiarni out to adopt the position,
...... enjoy the sex & running .......... arise BATWOMAN.

Next week's run - 1917,  Co-Hares MASTABAITING NORMAL.

The pasta & pizzas were up to standard at the On After, & all
leftovers were passed along to table's end, for total 
consumption by resident gastronamis, SILIC.

21 - 1 - '19        Run 1915         Morrisons

The Hash 25 gathered at Dolly's Creek Road for the 3rd day 
of Celebrating the HALF A BAR 70th., (amid the brand new 
power towers, just waiting around to make a squillion for 
the Hare !!).
Stand-in GM 'ratemyagent' FASCINATOR called the reverence,
& banged on about the Centenary of Anzac, & Australia to 
coming of age etc., then gave a "Hashy Birthday fuck you" to 
NORMAL's 65 & HALF A BAR's 70. HALF A BAR paraded in 
the Birthday Jox 'n Sox, & his best pressy - the Turban.
The Hare intro'd the Run, saying it's short, mostly flat with a
down & uphill - the On On is out the front. Take your car to
the usual Drink-stop if you like.
The walkers were waiting at the Cemetery Drink-stop, when
BAR LICKER fronted in the twin-cab, loaded with a heap of 
runners who had lost their way. The Stellas, vodka & chips
were enjoyed, & then a toast to HALF A BRA.
At the Circle, FASCINATOR began with a welcome's back (?).
                         (You're stupid ....... ).
Best Hash Screw MOUNTIE was next, presenting the Drive 
Mags & promptly put the sticker on the bottom space of the 
Run Board. Said that the only excitement on the run was
QUICKDICK trying to 'stamp' a snake away, with NUMMY
helping out, doing her version of the Haka. (HALF A BAR
thought "a fuckin' snake - no-one fuckin' appreciates me
gettin' a fuckin' snake to appear). The trail was marked in
the same coloured dirt as on the road. The Limerick .....
"BAR LICKER could prance around all day, in extreme 
lingerie, but HE likes his sex wild & woolly".
                           (Shitty Trail ........... ). 
Sergeant SHAFTED rolled up in a singlet (as they said), that
HALF A BAR would wear to meet the Governor. He charged
MASTABAIT for giving him the wrong directions to start the
run. 
                            (Hymn ...... fuck hymn ....).
Sniffycunt runs (as per the book), were PUSBUCKET 17,  
STUBBY 3 & MASTABAIT 1399.
                            (Get a life .............. ).
BIG DOG had a drink for his ride with SPARTACUS (?),
after SPARTACUS had txt'd all & sundry. MOUNTIE charged
SPENCE for his looking for a ride. & then D&C for saying,
"Get fucked, I'm bringing DONUTS".
                      (This is your down down song ....... ).
PUSBUCKET chimed in saying, "The wonderful world of 
the bar fly is always good".
NUMMY charged HALF A BAR for laying on BAR LICKER
at 3:30 am Sunday, 'asking for a root', then promptly started
snoring his head off.
D&C charged DONUTS for not washing the glasses when he
was Stand-in Grogmaster.
             (A soldier ...... to piss ...... for cunt'ry ...... ).
MRS D charged BIG DOG for getting his monogrammed hat
from SPARTACUS, after being in Hash only '5 minutes'.
               (There's a game called 20 toes ........... ).
PRECIOUS shot his mouth off a little too soon, saying that
"you wouldn't find a virgin at Hash", just as Peggy stood by
his side.
NORMAL stepped up to the BBQ, first cleaning the fur from 
the plate, then loading up the leftover 'smoked sausages' 
for their warm up. SHAFFY wrestled with a broken knife & 
lumpy sharpening steel, but in the end, the steak was cut 
& cooked, & turned out like fairy floss.
The cheese platter, salads & pav were well appreciated - 
a good finale to the HALF A BAR '70' weekend.

Next week's run - 1916 - TBA. 
The notice a little earlier this week please DUMB.