Monday, January 29, 2018

29 - 1 - '18        Run 1862    
26 Grand Junction Drive

PEBBLES' 'pearl necklace' run from home - wonder how 
many pearl necklaces have been there? FOP was there 
looking very Norman Gunston'ish, with patches on both 
cheeks - had the rod just been removed?
PEBBLES intro'd the run, saying chalk & flour, & 6K with a 
Drink-stop. The "T shirt a week" crew were in for their photo 
op, & NORMAL was Walker (wanker) Commandant. 
The run took us round some of the streets, past the "little 
boxes made of ticky tacky & they all look just the same", then
the leaf blowers, & we soon found OSSIE OSSIE OSSIE - who
said that he was lost? We followed the highway north 
(seemed like half way to Clunes), then down the back lane, 
to the well stocked Drink-stop, that was ended prematurely 
by the welcome precipitation.
Back at the On After, & SILIC said, "I can't get the middle one
to work" (well who knew?), but it was only on the BBQ ....!
HEAD HUNTER had lost her influence, running round and 
round, calling for the circle when no-one cared.
DIMWIT & GILF both still had no idea of a 'pearl necklace'.
FOP welcomed back PUSBUCKET, SQUIZZY, & DR DEATH,
(.... & as all DR's ....) you too QUICKDICK
                (put it in your hand Mrs Murphy .....).
FASCINATOR was there for the screwing, & called it the 
'inadequacy run', that PEBBLES was found wanting, in his
lack of 'Barry-ness' from last week. The arrows were barely
there & must have been put there when he was aroused, so 
the fascination level was 7.2
                 ( S.H.I.T.T.Y ..... shitty trail .....).
Sergeant SPENCE had HEAD HUNTER out for her ordinary
job as Choirmaster, since QUICK DICK was excellent as the 
stand-in last week, then Susie had the black wig installed 
by MOUNTIE, so as DIMWIT would know the difference.
GLIDER claimed 2117 runs over his Hash years, so SPENCE
figured (in his wisdom !!), that taking the 1st number 1, 
& adding it to the 7, would make the year 2018 (go figure!!),
so all the olds joined GLIDER for a drink - SS, MASTABAIT,
REAR ENTRY & SILICStay there SILIC & have another one 
for the confusion of whether it was you that played Federer 
in the tennis on Sunday, & that the trophy was presented by 
Ms Hrdlicka.
                  (ugly, ugly, you're so f*ckin ugly)
PEBBLES was charged for drinking light beer at the 
Drink-stop & then saying "I forgot my jumper" - all this
& he's only 200 M from home & not driving.
                   (you're stupid, so f*ckin' dumb).
DIMWIT charged Susie for (?) her puppies & some-one's
Jack Russell.
           ( ..... she's a great cock-sucker, a harriette).
DR DEATH charged Susie for being refused bar service
since she went arse over head after 2 drinks, then D&C 
had a drink for being presented with PEBBLES' black bits
(Cricket bat & stumps), & NUTCRACKER as the Pearl Diver.
MASTABAIT had HALF A BAR out for buying 100 
watermelons for $2, then no-one wanted any, & PEBBLES 
had a drink for his text to DIMWIT for help to 'build' some 
salads, as he had no idea.
DR DEATH charged HALF A BAR for getting lost twice on
the way out here, all the while PLUCKA was the front seat
'NaG-ivator'.
DUMB & DUMBER charged MOUNTIE for her recent photo
with Eddie Everywhere.
                                     ( No !!).
REAR ENTRY charged our "Resident Dad Jokester" DIMWIT
for telling his 'best joke ever' - a pod of instrument playing
killer whales - an orca-stra.   (phew !!).
                         (No no, Bad bad, Down down).
TEFLON charged FOP for having the bolts removed from his
face, then SILIC to CHRIS CROS for being the only one ever 
to get his quoit above his head.
                         (He's the meanest ....... ).
TEFLON charged D&C for showing off her Apple watch & 
saying, "with this, you'd never have it off", then SS charged
DIMWIT & GILF for not knowing about 'pearl necklace', & then
all the pearl necklace girls drank.
                       (I want to spray you with my DNA....).
Religious Adviser MOUNTIE had Susie adopt the position,
(just as we listened to DR DEATH's phone go off!!), ..... enjoy 
the sex & running etc....... arise, BITCHFACE.
FOP had a drink for the 'shame' of not realising that most of
the Committee were there for a change.
Dr ROWDY had PLUCKA, NUTCRACKER, REAR ENTRY,
HALF A BAR & SPENCE out for the question of Red, Blue
& Super Moons & the Eclipse.
Bill of Fare was the 'NORMAL cooked' snags & steak from 
the Hash Trailer, with bread, green salads & the 'DIMWIT
prepared' potato & egg.
HALF A BAR finished it all off saying "Doesn't f*ckin' anyone
want any f*ckin' watermelons?

Next week's run - 1863 - Hares HEAD HUNTER & QUICK DICK
from Nuggety Dam.





Tuesday, January 23, 2018

22 - 1 -'18       Run 1861     La La Land

DR DEATH's (as 1 Goyne runs .... all Goyne's run), run from
home, 114 Lal Lal, with about 33 showing up.
FOP welcomed virgin runner Tanya (NUTCRACKER's Sister)
& said "Put your hand up Tanya" .... but she had shorts on!!
Welcome's back to LADY TRAMP & the Goynes, Grace, 
Ellanor & Vaughan.
DR DEATH explained that the 5.5K run had some uphill & 
an equal amount of downhill, so as we would end up at the 
same height. It took us by Esmond, then along the creek,
& somehow SHAFFY, DUMBER & BHD got side tracked at
Soapy's Dam, hearing about the 2 headed red-fin, caused by  
the toxic tailings from the nearby foundry - so much for 
being in time to find any beer at the Drink-stop, but jeez I 
luuuv that Apple Cider!! Focaccia was good, then came the
chips 'n dips.
At the circle, FOP had welcome drinks for Tanya & Clare, &
welcomes back for LADY TRAMP, MASTABAIT, SILIC & the
(newly f*cked hairstyle) FASCINATOR - that's MY next cut!!
DR DEATH was called out early for a drink, & as 1 Goyne 
drinks ....... !!
FASCINATOR began the 'screwing' by asking who HASN'T
screwed DR DEATH? He thought that it was a lazy run, 
& just like a drive by. It was nice & hot, & with a fascination
level of ....... "can't be bothered". Then of course, ALL 
Goyne's were out for a drink.
                   (S.H.I.T.T.Y trail .....).
The Committee's started showing up ... Sergeant SPENCE 
was there, & had DONUTS, MASTABAIT & PRECIOUS
out for sniffyc*nt runs (I think), & f*ckin' Birthday f*ckin'
Boy f*ckin' HALF A f*ckin' BAR.
                    (Hashy Birthday f*ck you ..... ).
DIMWIT had a drink for his Macca's Team Leader T shirt,
FANG should've had a drink but they wouldn't let him, so
NUMMY took his drink, then SILIC was told to go & get ......,
& PLUCKA took his drink.
DUMBER charged SHAFTED for all the excuses he put up 
for being late, & HALF A BAR had a drink for being early.
DIMWIT drank up for saying good morning to Susie & her
'puppies' on the morning run.
                   ( ....... & the boys went down, down ...... ). 
DR DEATH charged Susie for living in her house for 
2 years before she found the Air Con control ( behind the
curtain), then DIMWIT for asking "What's MOUNTIE's
Sister's (Susie) name?"
                    (Put it in your hand Mrs Murphy ..... ).
HALF A BAR (is a) had a joke .... the "get a big dick by
soaking it in beans" one, then PEBBLES had the "Barry
big dick" rubber band one .... it's gone black already.
Vaughan had the old man DR DEATH out for only having 
to set the 'lazy' run, while he put the girls to work on all
the cooking.
         ahhh, been eagerly waiting (oughta be publicly ..... ).
MOUNTIE charged BAR LICKER for getting out "the pills",
hoping for some bedroom fun, but they turned out to be
diet pills, then SPENCER HOCKING had to drink for wearing
his 'Invasion Day' shirt.
                    (You ain't got no alibi ....... you're ugly .....).
NUMMY charged MOUNTIE, FANG, PLUCKA & every other
bugger for (I think?), the big eye lashes, then NUTCRACKER
had a drink for displaying her 'blue bits' that used to be pink.
Tanya ('Peanut', the NUTCRACKER Sister) & Clare had a 
drink together for 'some-et'.
                    (Do your tits hang low ...... ).
SHAFTED ran into a tree branch that gouged over his 
extra long forehead - know how you feel SHAFFY.
FOP charged PEBBLES for his gag about 'Everything is 
big in the USA, including vaginas ...... & the Aussie said,
"It's OK, I can stretch it".
                  (He's the meanest, he sucks the horse's .......).
That's enough ...... plenty of BBQ, salads & mash followed
as we be'd merry.

Next week's run - 1862 - Hare PEBBLES from home,
                                     26 Grand Junction Drive, Miner's Rest.
                  
  

Tuesday, January 16, 2018

15 - 1 - '18    Run 1860    53 Sorrento Dve

LOIS LANE's mirkin run (thru' her bush) & there turned out
to be a bit of that thru' Vic Park. Donuts were a touch of 
flavour for the night - it was actually DONUTS' "6 figure"
Birthday - Happy 60 DONUTS.
LOIS told us of the 2 stops - 'Refreshment' & 'Drink'. 
The run took 20 odd (odd alright !!), athletes along the old
rail trail, over by the POW Memorial & down thru' Vic Park.
NORMAL assumed command of the 4 walkers, while 
DR DEATH was chauffeur for 'crutchy' Ellanor & HALF A BAR.
The Refreshment Stop gave us the 'LOIS Jelly Shots' & donuts
of all varieties - chocolate, icing topped, custard filled, to the
traditional - did you put the hole in the donuts DONUTS?
We were lucky that DR DEATH had driven in before us - his
car completely covered the HH marker - we might've got lost!
Onward then, to the well stocked Drink-stop in the reserve.
FOP fronted up to the circle in the full inflatable donut, to get
DONUTS out the front for the Happy 60 Birthday pot. 
                      (Hashy Birthday f*ck you ....).
Stand-in Screw D & C, didn't want to screw LOIS, but stepped 
up anyway,  She thought that the run might as well have been 
in QLD, since it was so hot, dry & dusty. She was 'savaged' 
by a dog in the park, & reckoned it was her longest run at 
Hash - score 6.1. The Hash Chorus were obviously too slow 
for HEAD HUNTERshe had to speed us up somewhat !!
                        (S.H.I.T.T.Y. Trail ........... ).
SHAFTED was stand-in Sergeant, since that QUICKDICK back 
peddled, & LOIS was his 1st charge.    (She's alright ...... ).
Bikey JITTERBUG charged THE BILL for, (in the past!!) being 
trustworthy policeman.   (Put it your hand Mrs Murphy ..... ).
Of course, then DONUTS had to cop another '60' drink.
           (You're stupid, you're so f*ckin' dumb .....).
Just then, the door of the shed raised to reveal MOUNTIE's
recycled Birthday Cake come to life again, & DR DEATH arose
in his Rocky Horror (ummm Craig McLaclan) gear, complete 
with the big black eye lashes, & straight away, the comparison 
was on between his & NUTCRACKER's (eye lashes !!).
      (Oh, the wiggle of his arse ......... ), & then out came the
"Let's do the time walk again", for DONUTS & DR DEATH.
That's when Ellanor had a drink for her 'outrageous & 
embarrassing' Father !!
FOP charged/congratulated Hash Cash HER VAG for paying
for 'some' cups, but keeping us afloat, by stealing some 
others for the night, then MOUNTIE charged Susie for her
thinking that 'Organs of the Goldfields' was actually music!!
DIMWIT had a charge for NUMMY as she said "Retired, but 
I'm harder worked than ever", as she sat drinking coffee for 
over an hour at the Yacht Club. FOP then realised, (talking of 
retirement), that he hadn't welcomed back CHRIS CROS.      
                (He's the meanest ........... ).
MOUNTIE charged NUTCRACKER for having a piss weak 
voice when she came to a run marker, then DONUTS charged
D&C for the way she pinned on his large 60 badge.
DUMBER charged MOUNTIE, for being too pissed to 
remember him saying where LOIS' run was from!! Just then,
PAULINE materialised from the shed & was welcomed from 
his stint of day shift.
NUMMY charged FANG for parking the pussy scooter so that
it looked as though he had towed the caravan there.
                 (Hymn, hymn, f*ck hymn).
It's clear that MASTABAIT, BENTNOSE & all of NORMAL's
usual chauffeur's are away - he's now commandeered 
THE BILL to step in, (can't possibly take my own car!!).  
PEBBLES got a drink for his 'silent' bugle calling.
2 Dad Jokes got a run - DIMWIT (of course) with his
'alien kangaroo - the mars supial', & PEBBLES' 3M wing span
wedge-tailed eagle flying into the sun - 1 wing over the eyes
makes 1.5 wing span.  .....(it was a sight gag BENT!!).
Subway footlongs of various flavours were followed by 
chocolate cake & ice cream, then a Happy 60 Birthday cake
covered in all size & flavour donuts for DONUTS.

Next week's run - 1861 - Hare DR DEATH, from Lala Land,
                                          114 Lal Lal Street.



Monday, January 8, 2018

8 - 1 - '18    Run 1859    St George's Lake

1st 'real' run of the year since the, 'barely a quorom' run for 
Christmas, & the New Year 'Cup run'. NUM NUM was Hare,
helped along by DUMB & DUMBER (straining his back) & a 
30+ roll up. 
FOP announced virgin runner Susie with "put your hand up 
Susie" (we'd like to), and Max, & the return of FERGIE
chauffered in by HALF A BAR.
NUMMY was quick to tell us about the 3+ Km run, but didn't 
tell the SCC's about the freakin' big hill, that took us away 
from lake edge track. After the magnificent views from the 
hill-top, & one of DUMBER's renter utes strayed over the 
edge, we came across the well-stocked Drink-stop.
Back to the On-After, & the 6 or so swimmers were quick to 
get wet. We did get a prior notice from the Water Board, that
if REAR ENTRY & SHAFTED were going in, they'd let some 
water out first, but the spillway coped well !! JITTERBUG
rode around on the Christmas present doing her circle work,
while Evie was busy doing some spectacular dives into the 
water, to chase the ball from DONUTS & then NUTCRACKER.
Once the chips, dips & nuts were done, FOP rose to give 
Susie & Max a welcome drink, & welcome back to FERGIE.
            ( They're the meanest ....... )
FOP announced that he 'needed a screw' (been a while FOP?)
then PEBBLES stepped up, screwing NUMMY for the 'Run of
the Year' so far.      (S.H.I.T.T.Y trail .......... )
DUMBER was called out for having his fly undone & "don't
get an erection", but NUMMY assured us that it wouldn't 
make any difference.       (You're stupid ... so feckin' dumb).
Sergeant SPENCE gave JITTERBUG a drink for her circle
work on the Christmas bike (sorry, Holiday Bike - musn't
offend anyone) then called out DAZED & CONFUSED
NUTCRACKER, NUM NUM & JITTERBUG for dressing as 
the All Blacks. 
    ( I'm in love with the girl next door ...... now my finger)
The Scribe was next, as being "perpetual" (feckin' whaaat??)
& a most welcome rendition of     (Oughta be publicly .... ).
PUSBUCKET, PEBBLES, NUTCRACKER & Susie had 
sniffyc*nt runs (I think?) & HALF A BAR for the No 666
devil's run ... (you've gotta know when to hold 'em ....).
JITTERBUG had a drink to 'celebrate' the Poms' loss in the
Cricket, then SHAFFY had to drink out of his thongs.
              (NO !! ....... drink it down, down, down).
DIMWIT had to do the circle looking for new shoes, but had
new shoes himself, along with Max, & then the whole thing
rebounded on SPENCER HOCKING.
               (Ohhh, the wiggle of his nuts ...... )
MOUNTIE got workmate Susie out for being 'Acting Boss' & 
arriving a couple of hours late, & 2nd, for falling flat on her
arse trying to 'emulate' MOUNTIE. She also had 
NUTCRACKER there for wearing men's after-shave to 
attract D & C.
SPENCE had GLIDER out for gaining 15 minutes, going to 
Hash at Creswick, & FERGIE for taking an extra 15 minutes.
NUMMY & PEBBLES (in that order) charged REAR ENTRY
for making sure SILIC wasn't at Hash, then for still not
knowing "the Song".
MOUNTIE charged THE BILL, REAR ENTRY & SS for (?)
"what do old people talk about?" then NUMMY had a drink
for her extra large towel, while SHAFFY dried himself with
a tissue.
REAR ENTRY charged JITTERBUG for dropping her dacks,
(the bar on her boys bike WAS very close to the 'nethers' as
she rocked back & forth !!).... (Oh, the wiggle on her arse).
PLUCKA, TEFLON & SPENCE had a drink to celebrate the 
Nash Hash Reunion weekend coming up at the Athletic Club 
starting Feb 23.
Then the box of assorted bread rolls came out, together with 
some chocky sweets to go with the rest of the beer as we
be'd merry.
D & C was quick to get onto the Frog 69 gag, but not so
NUTCRACKER (I think !!).
Next week's run - 1860 - Hare Lois Lane, with a suggested 
Bush Run (TBA), but was it really thru' her mirkin ??