Tuesday, May 23, 2017

22 - 5 -'17            Run 1825        3 Davey St

QUICK DICK & HEAD HUNTER's run from home, with the Hash 30'ish.
We headed off into the wind, with QUICK DICK in the pink Hare pants,
& both Hares with a handful of chalk each, live-setting as we went.
Turned out to be the Catholic run of the year - running thru' St John
of God, Aquinas Uni & back thru' Nazareth House, after a short stint
on the Lake. Cheeky bugger PRECIOUS reckoned we should get out
of Nazzy straight away, before they kept a few of us. A well stocked 
drink-stop by Officeworks, & then back for the Circle.
Welcome back to SS, now with the extra 'slit'. CRUTCHLESS couldn't
work out the reason behind SS's Hash name, so the most senior & 
most junior members drank together to HEAD HUNTER's chant of
"Old bastard & young slut". SPENCER HOCKING then presented the
appropriate Pirate Gear to SS, to go with the newly acquired 'slit',
being the eye patch, hat & sword, & he drank to the tune of 
"Him, him, fu*k him".
Stand-in Screw PEBBLES was next ( FASCINATOR flys in today),
& gave virgin hares (at Ballarat), QUICK DICK & HEAD HUNTER a 
'2 Silver Star' rating for an extremely well set run & drink-stop.
Sergeant SPENCE called out Juri for "what happens in new shoes",
& JITTERBUG for "what happens in new boots" - she had on the 
CFM Boots - & they both drank to the "Get back in the kitchen" charge.
FOP was charged for donating the contents of the tin last week, &
SHAFTED, as the Company Director, was "going to" donate.
PRECIOUS had his 1st beer charge, after being seen with 3 lovely
girls together last week - why wouldn't you be there again this week
instead of coming to Hash?
NORMAL had a charge for SS - reckons SS is dumber than himself.
Checking the Shuttlebus manifesto at Tullarmarine, NORMAL couldn't 
find passengers J. Hardy & D. Faulkner - turns out SS had no idea
where to catch the bus.
HEAD JOB had a drink for posting wrong info in last week's 'blah blah',
about Andrew's daughter & the blister disease - where did you say
I could get that Sub-Editor?
DUMBER was charged for feeding his meat to JITTERBUG at the 
Friday Gossip Club lunch, then ROWDY charged NORMAL for the
20 year passing of the NORMAL dummy (or stubby) spit in Mair St.
ROWDY had another drink for his run No 1111, & MOUNTIE charged
QUICK DICK for saying on the run "it's dark at this time at night !!"
SHAFFY heard THE BILL having a bit of a 'gloat' on the run, so 
thought he should be re-named "Billy Gloat", then Juri charged
NUM & DUMB for their little bit of 'romanticism' on the run.
CHRIS CROS charged PRECIOUS for dropping the money tin, 
& spilling change everywhere - wonder how much did roll 
under the deck?
DUMBER charged QUICK DICK for having NUMMY & not 
HEAD HUNTER phone in when the bus was full of women.
QUICK DICK  wondered how so many could get 'lost' in the 2 storey
car park at Ballarat Base - have a drink ROWDY.
FANG wanted to know if we could get a 'where's GLIDER app' 
(ala where's Wally) seeing as SS gets asked about GLIDER 
every week - something like that !!  
SPENCE charged HEAD HUNTER for the match-box sized garbage
bin - "We are at Hash you know", & then HEAD HUNTER had a 2nd,
as she didn't want to start the new job at JK smelling of grog - 
enter MOUNTIE ........ annnnnd "Ought to be.....".
DR DEATH & SOS made it to the On After - obviously SOS had been
busy "Tidying" somewhere.

Next week's run, CHRIS CROS at home, 19 Platypus Drive, Mt Clear,
ummm .... rear entry. Perhaps BYO Chair.

Monday, May 15, 2017

15 - 5 -'17          Run 1824         Taco Bill's

PEBBLES' run, where DAZED & CONFUSED is the Hare, & the run
set by both, with a 30 hash roll-up. All orders taken for the 
heartburn/raw arse supper & we're standing outside on the On On
Marker, when D&C wearing the Hare Pants, told us that "the On On
is from here". We headed off round town, this time anti-clockwise, 
via the Mall, Civic Hall, St Andrews Church & White Flat, to the 
Drink-Stop out back of PEBBLES' Office, then inside & warmth
for the Down Downs.
Apologies to HEAD HUNTER - she is definitely THE Choirmaster & 
not the stand-in, as said in last week's blah blah!!

Welcome to Andrew Biszczak, for his intro to Hash Harriers & 
the Mighty Sovereign Hash. A stop-over in Ballarat, on his many
marathons on the 3000 kms from Adelaide to Brisbane, to raise 
awareness & funds for kids suffering the "blister disease" -
Epidermolysis Bullosa, that claimed the life of his 2 yr old 
daughter. Ballarat kicked in a total of $545 for the cause.
HEAD HUNTER gave him the Piss Pot chant, tho' he doesn't drink.

Wecomes back to SPARTACUS from NZ & Vietnam, and 
CHRIS CROS from Mt Clear.
HALF A BAR was suggested as a stop-over host to Andrew on his
way to Geelong, & that got him the "Him, Him, F**k Him" chant.
Screw (& half a Hare tonight) PEBBLES screwed D&C (figuratively
this time!!) for the run / walk, drink-stop & warm Down Downs 
venue, giving it a "Silver Award" that was retrieved from the wall
in the office, & got HEAD HUNTER's "Shitty trail, shitty trail" chant.
Reckon we'll get to learn all of these one day? Already know the
"Ought to be ...... " one.
Andrew was charged for having no Hash Gear, & presented with
a MRS DICKHEAD singlet, while 'Paul from London' (on his way
to Indonesia), was given a SILIC shirt - well no-one else wanted it!
PLUCKA drank Andrew's beer.
SPENCER HOCKING charged HEAD HUNTER for using her 
Mastercard on the Miki machine, & SPARTACUS had a drink for
his Silver Medal at New Zealand.
NORMAL bought old mate MASTABAIT a drink. He said BAIT
was to buy a car roof-top tent for the trip (as NORMAL put it,
to Cape Town) to Cooktown & beyond. NORMAL had it 
straight from the horse's mouth that "at 70, BAIT's sex life is 
obviously over", because Marg doesn't want to wake up being 
"chewed on by a Croc".
MASTABAIT charged CHRIS CROS for his lost hat, then his lost
glasses while on the Northern Territory walk - & tonight, almost
lost his wind-up torch.
HEAD HUNTER charged MOUNTIE & QUICKDICK, for crossing the 
roundabout in bad traffic, TEFLON charged NORMAL for the
walk being 'too well' organised this week, & both GLIDER &
MASTABAIT charged for no Hash Gear on display. 
PLUCKA & FANG had a drink for almost head butting, being
a bit eager to get a drink from the Drink-Stop esky.
NORMAL charged FANG for rambling on about swapping a 
lemon tree for a spa in the backyard - "must have been a bloody
big lemon tree, or a small spa", he said !!
HER VAG charged Andrew - who is obviously a hare, 
& PEBBLES - tonight's Hare, with no hair.

Think that's how most of it went - few others I can't decipher!!

Next week's run from HEAD HUNTER & QUICKDICK's place,
3 Davey Street - On After, Top Eureka .... errr, Eureka Pizza. 

Monday, May 8, 2017

8 - 5 -'17         Run 1823        Barkly St School

TEFLON's run from the School Car Park, with a 30 roll-up. 
Stand-in Choirmaster HEAD HUNTER returned, & called reverance
for the GM, with FOP's 1st utterings being STUBBY's grog for sale.
TEFLON had a glowing pre-amble for the run - " Running in the
truly magnificent East, plenty of trail marked, no on-backs, no 
hills .........etc".
9 walkers, 3 or 4 bar flys to the pub, so about 18 runners headed
off. GILF was in charge of the walkers, much to the "pissedoffment"
of NORMAL. She had a couple of goes at getting the 
"little green man" to light up at Victoria St (& we didn't even need
to cross over !!), then at Specimen Vale "umm ... where to now??"
Back to the down downs & FOP's next commercial for STUBBY -
must be some commission happening !!
Sniffyc*nt  runs for CRUTCHLESS & PIMP - 10 each. 
PEBBLES was stand-in Screw  for FASCINATOR (see the selfie
video on the Hash Page) & mentioned the cold night & having to
cross the rail twice, but the trail did get better once it reached the 
granite sand track - awarded the "blue star" - enter HEAD HUNTER
with the Shitty Trail chant.
Charges "may include, but not limited to......."
PIMP had a drink for his services - stand-in Chauffeur while the
old man's away. CRUTCHLESS was next as she was asked "How
do you think HEAD HUNTER & QUICK DICK got their names?"
HEAD HUNTER wouldn't divulge, but had a very wide grin, & still
singing chants from her song sheet. All dicks drink together, so 
out the front QUICKDICK, FOP (for a limp dick) & HALF A BAR.
BENT had a complaint in there somewhere about the beer (?) -
(wish I could read this bloody 'short-hand' next day!!). 
ROWDY & PEBBLES had a drink for the passing of Lou Richards,
then Juri charged NUM & DUMB for leading him astray on the run.
JITTERBUG took a drink from TEFLON for when DIGIT DIGESTER
fell over, & BAD HEAD JOB for rolling the ankle tonight.
FOP's been Wiki-ing - 1823 was the first official Australian gold 
discovery in Bathurst. 
GILF was next for getting the walkers "lost" - "there's a Church 
up here somewhere", & NORMAL gave her a 2nd drink for being
such a shit Walk Commandant. HEAD HUNTER has finally 
ditched the song sheet & is back to a chant that we know, & it 
wasn't "They ought to be .... !!"
Juri had a drink for being a worse joker than HALF A BAR, then
GILF, JITTERBUG & HEAD HUNTER for being amongst the 
European invasion to the mighty Sovereign Hash.
Last charge was for PLUCKA for being up & about again, & still
having the smile on her face, since Paul 'Bearer' is home.

Next week's run - PEBBLES from Taco Bill's (next to Safeway)

Tuesday, May 2, 2017

1 - 5 -'17        Run 1820      703 Latrobe St

HER VAGESTY's very rainy run from home. GM FOP ascended
the pulpit to address the multitudes - all 21 of them, then came
GILF & SHAFTED (who said SHAT-FED ??). FOP said the 
weather 'lowered the bar' even further, & then came the adverts
about STUBBY's beer being on sale - a little cheaper than last
week at Munster's, where the Publican claimed to be educating
HER VAG described the run as 5km, but would be following on
the bike - is that how she set it ?
Runners & Walkers headed off, to leave 6 bar Flys-flys thinking 
about testing some of FOP's home brew direct from the keg - 
alas, not working, "something blocking the pipes".
At the Drink-stop, we had plenty of jelly shots & beer from the 
fridge, but no-one took up FOP's offer of the home brew that
as he said " Wasn't too good". Didn't we have a whole year of
that when you were Grogmaster FOP?
On After & welcomes back to BENTNOSE, Juri & PIMP (who
was our stand-in chauffeur, as the old man SILIC was getting
closer to Darwin by the minute).
FOP wants to "make Hash great again" (um .. RAISING the bar?)
by auditing the book, making 2 Nash Hash runs count, so that
tonight becomes Run 1822. NUMMY wasn't happy, but SPENCER
HOCKING is now on 1100, & MOUNTIE 1111. The "Pot calling
the kettle black" was re-awarded to BENTNOSE (why was that
again??), then BENT tagged sooky la la.
They thought the bar was lowered further, as PEBBLES was 
stand-in Screw. He talked about trail around the trotting track
& soccer field, but didn't 'digress', & then gave the run an
alphabet score of 'J' - at least it wasn't that drawn out epistle
from FASCINATOR's phone!!
New shoes came up & Juri said "No way", then PIMP with
"what not to do with new shoes".
Congrats to SPARTACUS for his 'Silver' at New Zealand - you'll
do PIMP, have a drink.
FOP, HER VAG & NORMAL were charged for "dining" during
the down downs, but the focaccia out of the pizza oven was 
pretty nice. FOP had wheeled the oven over from Adair St. 
NORMAL charged old mate MASTABAIT for beetroot actually
coming out of the ground. MOUNTIE was charged for having a 
heavy boulder in her backpack at Tassie, taking over D&C's
bed, then leaving a log in the WC. 
"John from London" ran the rainy trail in singlet & shorts - 
probably thought the climate was just like home, & that's 
when MOUNTIE trotted out that freakin' "Ought to be ... "
Get rid of it !!!
Everyone enjoyed HER VAG's catering - The pulled pork 
casserole, coleslaw, spud & bread rolls.
Google wasn't at all kind to BENTNOSE. The ONLY time in his
life that he's ever been wrong!! The discussion went round &
round for a while, until BENT produced the phone, to find that 
"Jockey Smith was shot in '92 by the cop at Creswick, at 
The Farmer's Arms Pub, NOT The American" - (sniff, sniff)

Here endeth .....

Next Week, TEFLON's run. On On at Barkly St School, 
On After Top Eureka.

Tuesday, April 25, 2017

24 - 4 -'17       Run 1819     Munster's Arms

THE BILL's run on Anzac Eve. PRECIOUS was stand-in 
Choirmaster, on what FOP called the Pre Anzac Eve run, quickly
corrected by SPENCER HOCKING - Errr ... Pre Anzac Eve was
Sunday Night !! 21 in for the night, & SHAFFY continued to 
'lower the bar' - late again. According to THE BILL, the run was
"beautifully set this morning in 4 lb of flour" - not sure about it
after 25 ml of precipitation.
Runners & walkers took off, leaving 5 bar-flys to get down downs 
sorted. Due to the over the top bar prices ($7 pot of light & $5 pot
of heavy) there'd be no delight from the pub, even if REAR ENTRY
was sent in to negotiate. NORMAL was Walker's Commandant &
phoned in to ask about the Drink-stop - Pizza Hut carpark.
FLOP decided to go & buy a regulation Dan's slab, & down down's
to be undercover at Ray's Outdoors.
Welcomes back for Paul from England, MASTABAIT from NT &
GLIDER - also FANG (but he's not Juri). The bar was 'lowered so
much' that Grog Master CRUTCHLESS was on the floor - SILIC 
thought she was lucky she didn't stick to it.
FOP thought it was the 'Public Holidays Hash' with so many
holidays backed up together.
Screw FASCINATOR took over for the shortest screw ever - about
15 seconds, after his marathon read from the phone last week,
& gave THE BILL a 6.9, so SILIC charged FASCINATOR for the 
'piss weak' effort. THE BILL had a drink for not checking prices
of grog & food for the night, with the Publican - we thought the 
Publican might've been trying to square off his mortgage in
the 1st couple of weeks.
Sergeant SPENCE charged FOP for his down downs at Ray's -
does this mean he's trying to 'Ray's the Bar' again? 
CRUTCHLESS had drinks for the question 'How did FOP &
MASTABAIT get their Hashnames?'
THE BILL, FANG & Paul had a Pre Anzac drink for the Allies,
and MASTABAIT & GLIDER for the old farts at Hash. The fallen
comrades of Hash were recognised - MIDNIGHT, RUSSELL UP
had a drink & hoped that he wasn't going to be the next!!
because she could only remember 'a James Robertson' at 
school with dark hair!! DUMBER also charged SPENCE for 
having to apologize to our Publican for not getting to his pub
on the Christmas Run, as the Publican had put on extra staff
& food for the visit.
FOP charged FASCINATOR for wearing no Hash gear - instead,
the PRD stove-pipes & pixie boots. CRUTCHLESS was presented
with a singlet top that had painted-on hands to look like breast
supports - but not a lot to support !!
Paul had a drink out of his old/new shoes - DUMBER for his
fairy boots, & SILIC for the beer that was named after him -
'backward nut'. 
SHAFTED had given dog 'Jess' some crook food, so 
CRUTCHESS gave us a demo of dog actions, spinning round
on the floor, with legs in the air like a dying fly.

Nuffsed - next week at HER VAG's place, 703 Latrobe St.,
BYO chair.

Monday, April 17, 2017

17 - 4 -'17          Run 1818        Miner's Tavern

1st run of new GM FOP's reign, & the start of the downfall "Lowering
The Bar". Around 23 attendees, & not bad for an Easter Monday Run,
with the notable absence of REAR ENTRY, given The Miner's is his
"office" & he's always at the joint. 
Brand new Choirmaster HEAD HUNTER called for reverence for the
GM to start the On After. 
FOP had welcomes back for BAG OF DICKS, Paul "Bearer" & 
PUSBUCKET ( & as he said "Wot after 1 week?"). Significant Runs to
GILF 234 & PLUCKA 131. HEAD HUNTER proceeded to trot out a 
heap of new chants that we're never gonna get to remember.
New Screw FASCINATOR has introduced technology, having to read
his freakin' long-winded dialogue (are we there yet ?) from his phone,
& after a fair slab of football references, gave the Run of FOP
HER VAGESTY a 6.7, to which HEAD HUNTER began her chant of
"Shitty Trail" etc, to the tune of Mickey Mouse.
Stand-in Sergeant HER VAG thought the sniffyc*nts of 1818 should
be about the 18 yr olds & said "not D&C who's 3+ X 18", & so, enter
Eleanor, with DR DEATH taking a drink for the Daughter.
PEBBLES had a drink for being "horny" for HER VAG on the run - 
Hash Horn, then DUMBER for the stolen gold bullion in his old
Webster St, with THE BILL & QUICK DICK the closest likeness 
to the thief.
Setting the Run, HER VAG met old Hash Runner ANDREW ANDREW
ANDREW, so nominated another old Hash Runner SS to take a drink.
CRUTCHLESS charged MOUNTIE, for MOUNTIE asking at Waubra
months ago, "who are you?" - turns out MOUNTIE had known 
her for 20+ years. 
THE BILL was charged for rear-ending MOUNTIE last week (who'd
have thought !), & to that, HEAD HUNTER finally got to reel off a
chant that we knew. Also last week, visitor DEMENTIA invited the
girls in the "take home car", back to the Motel, presumably for a 
"happy ending".
NORMAL charged Paul "Bearer" for their conversation on the walk,
when NORMAL asked "so what's been happening Paul?" & the reply,
"Oh, I went down last night, big dark hole that you could drive a 
truck thru' & it's pretty wet down there", of course, talking about
the Mine. That's when NUMMY continued to "lower the bar", 
chanting that farkin' "Oughta be publicly ......." Arghhhh!!
THE BILL & QUICK DICK saved HER VAG - "don't roll your ankle
on that acorn" (again), & "if you do, give us the keys, so that while
you're laid up, we can get to the drink-stop"
They called NORMAL a lazy prick for only laying 10 bricks on a 
big job, but he thought that was good management - & it got
him a drink.
D&C, NUM NUM MOUNTIE are off to Tassie (MOUNTIE's got 
a map, D&C not), so MOUNTIE awarded them drinks ahead
of time - reckon the rest of us should've had a drink 'cos they
won't be here.

Righto,  you've had a fair go ......

Next week, THE BILL's run from Munster's Arms, 
(old Black Rhino), Bakery Hill.

Tuesday, April 11, 2017

10 - 4 -'17                  Run 1817                AGM

GM NUM NUM assumed the position for the last time, & drinks to welcome 
visitors BIG CLIT, Y2K JELLY, SWALLOW & DEMENTIA, then welcomes
forgot FANG, so he had to drink on his own.
Happy Birthday to 60 years 'young' DAZED & CONFUSED, & NORMAL had 
to step in to drink for her (we wondered if he has to step in for her in the 
bedroom as well !!). HEAD HUNTER was a bit 'out of it', as she had said 
bye for now to her Shielagh - as she said "Well she is my Mum".
The athletes & walkers took to the streets of the North, leaving 9 bar flys
to a stubby or 3, & hear the practise recital of Andy Pobjoy's keyboard
stand-in Kevin Mahoney, & very good too !! The next job - erect the 
Nash Hash signage. Schoolmarm CANDIDA quickly took over the
Supervisor Role, as apparently, SILIC & REAR ENTRY weren't up to
scratch, so she did the job herself. CRUTCHLESS was on crutches again,
wandering round, but only using them about every 4th or 5th step.
The On After, & NUMMY had installed the blow-up Limbo Bar, but of course
that meant "lowering the bar" - more on that later.
She trotted out the 1817 sniffyc*nts a little early, & that saw Ireland's
first Abstinence Society, so JITTERBUG was up for an Ireland drink &
DR DEATH for Abstinence, then Jane Austen's death brought to mind
her novels, 'Pride & Prejudice' and 'Sense & Sensibility', so 
DUMB & DUMBER was in there as well.
SS took the floor to screw the run, but they gave him a mic. - never let
a chance go by - & he launched into Danny Boy with obligatory vibrato,
& according to keyboardist Mahoney, all in the Key of D (that your 
key BENT?). A well stocked drink-stop topped off a good run & walk - 
thank you DUMB.
Sergeant ROWDY's last stand & had to recognise CRUTCHLESS in her 
ball gown, complete with fascinator & a pearl necklace in the cleavage -
that made him bar up !! MOUNTIE had a huge pearl necklace (the jewelry
type) trying to out-do CRUTCHLESS, and GILF & HEAD HUNTER were 
in there somewhere as well, all to be taken away by DIMENTIA.
GLIDER had PRECIOUS, as the youngest Hash Member, do a charge
in memory of ARSO, then NORMAL charged GLIDER for all the rain
over the weekend (??). SHAFTED spun a golf 'in-joke' that went flat
on it's arse - not like our usually zany SHAFFY.
FASCINATOR met BIG CLIT - thought it good 'cos he usually can't 
find it - DIMENTIA couldn't remember & maybe needed Y2K JELLY &
chances are, SILIC found a REAR ENTRY (can't read this bloody
scribble, but it's kinda like that !!).
FASCINATOR took a charge for the sad passing of John Clarke/Fred
Dag, then MOUNTIE charged SWALLOW because she couldn't spread
her legs. LOIS LANE had a celebration drink for daughter Phillipa's
marriage, then HALF A BAR had a f**kin' charge for f**kin' SILIC &
f**kin' REAR ENTRY for not f**kin' going outside because there was free
f**kin' beer inside !! THE BILL charged DUMBER for being the only one
to be run over by a boat going down the road, then BIG CLIT & 
Y2K JELLY were charged for making sure to follow MOUNTIE in 
her tights, all the way home. ROAD RUNNER made a check of the 
50 yr old Council Records & DUMBER is the only one to ever be hit by a 
speedboat on the road.
DONUTS was charged for his "spleen vent" about being sick of 
picking up at Tullamarine, only to take a phone call from the son
30 seconds later - "Can you pick me up Dad?". 
BIG CLIT charged SHAFTED for driving his car over the finely
manicured garden at the Bowls Club ( you've never seen him in
action at the Bot Gardens MR CLIT !!). FANG took the final charge
of NUMMY's 'Raise The Bar' Hash, as being the oldest (longest ?)
serving member of the original Ballarat Hash.
Old Committee out - (F**k off, you've had a fair go!!) & enter the
new GM FOP of the "Lower The Bar" Hash.

New Committee:

Grog Master  .  .  .  .  CRUTCHLESS   Hash Screw  .   FASCINATOR
Keeper of the Book  JITTERBUG       Choirmaster  .   HEAD HUNTER
Hash Cash  .  .  .  . .  HER VAGESTY  Sergeant  .  .  .   SPENCER HOCKING
Religious Advisor 
& Big Events  .  .  .  . MOUNTIE           Hash Horn  .  .  PEBBLES
Trail Master .  .  .  .  . NUM NUM          Blog Bastard .  Status Quo

New GM FOP has decided to "Lower The Bar", has aired the T Shirt,
then declared that he's a "Man of Action", but sick of cliche's - 
'build a wall', 'moooving fooorward' (ala Julia-r) etc. - so, we'll see &
good luck FOPPY.
We ate, drank & be'ed merry for the next couple of hours. Very nice 
roast, followed by small pav (I think, didn't have it) desserts and beer 
& red wine all round. Fair amount of 'darrrncing' to the excellent 
Mr Mahoney & the 1st exhibition for the year ahead of FOP's jocks - 
reckon there'll be somewhat more exposure down the track !!

Next week - Committee run from Miner's Tavern.