Wednesday, October 29, 2014

Run 1686 Pus Bucket @ Seymours, followed by Balls Up @ Miners Tavern, 25 October 2014

Balls Up on a platter day on a Cox on a Plate Saturday. Only forgivable because great races are everywhere over the Spring Carnival.  We had our own Hasher’s Spring Mardi Gras Carnivale all weekend.
Starting with a fellowship at Freight on Fridy followed by a saunter from Seymour’s on Satdy.  Pus Bucket took us East, marched 10,000 men to the top of Black Hill and he marched us down again. But when we were up we were up (to a scenic Drink Stop followed by Dirges and Down Downs).

Pauline, Fluid Movement and Spence were welcomed back. Dignitarios including Visiting GMs were sought for recognition. Cut Loose and Astro were noted. A skinny prick known as Mortenson from Western Suburbs was ostracised and Bent for providing only $20 for a Balls Up float.
Heavy screwed Pus in a Bucket with a song about to the tune of Ghost Riders in the Sky. Yippie ON ON, Yippie On Back, Hash Runners in the East.

A fresh furry Seargeant Spencer Hocking took the floor. His old Bin Laden look with wooly grey hair and whisker look floored many.  Dumb &Dumber reckoned Shafted had taken his fascination with Johnny Cash too far when he idiotically was goin’ to Jackson’s instead of the Freight Bar Friday night.

Point of Order, Glider reckons we have zero chance of getting sponsorship from Mount Zero Olives so I must make amends and amend acknowledgment of the kind support of AXEDALE OLIVES in bigger and bolder font, and make sure George experiences Hash patronage at his produce stall at Springfest at Lake Wendouree this weekend.
A Wonderful Woman from Lakeside Ladies turned up delinquently. She was In Salted that we left without her and turned up breathing Heavy with a Sweaty Box. Eggs and Bacon Quiche Lorraine were on the menu and some women were cycling periodically. Mounty mounted the microphone. Bait had a Blue Tonge. The song was “if your girlfriend tastes like shit, roll her over. The wonderful weather was religiously reknized as being awesome, (typical of Ballarat).
Nickelby’s Immortalised speech on the hand over to Cut Loose was reminisced upon where he kindly thanked the CWA ladies for bringing a plate.  Coffin Box was spat out the front as half of Ballarat Hash has been coughing their boxes off all Winter and into Spring, even Superwoman Lois Lane.
We wandered down the woad to watch waces at the Seymour places. Three Sweeps on the Cox Plate later saw a few linger longer til the race was run and won by Adelaide.  Winners were Num Num, Pokey and Coffin Box got the big prize. Congrats.  See you at the Balls Up…….

…….Beautifully ballooned balustrades led us up the stairs to the registration table where we were adorned with green wristbands by gorgeous organising girls Nummy and Lois. Mrs D and BP.  As we entered the main room we were amazed to be surrounded by the large colourfully painted mask faces perched on the walls. Pauline’s pride of his created beauties was the Maori Miss with the tattooed chin.  Mounty ushered all to their allotted tables with centre pieces, lollies, and wine.  There were “Balls Up 2014” stubby holders for all. Brightly decorated with Mardi Gras mask on a Hash foot, and sponsors including S3 Promotions, Reptile Gulch Motors, Greene’s TV Repair, and Tidy Group.
Spence, just a couple of hours before was whiskery Bin Laden lookalike of the afghani resistance, turned up unrecognizable as a 1960 Queen Elizabeth model. Very effeminate! There were several less-effeminate whiskered women with Teflon coatings on their tongues. Jack-in-a-mask was there and Onon a magical night on the top floor, FOP thought he could go higher, Lil Evil pulled a rabbit out of a hat and they did the disappearing trick, turned into birds and flocked off.

Bait and Ms Fulton did a double duo thing in diamond clown clothes. Twins Half & Baa licker were likewise conjoined. There were three colourful Kids with bird pulling power that included a birthday babe.

Prizes were awarded to a few of the dressed up dags. FOP was sleek Her Vag was sexy with sweet beads. FOPS hairdo and face got him a Miners Tavern voucher.

Dumb has a similar costume but looked like a chubby Mike Myers from “The Mechanic who Shagged Me” and kept twiddling his one erect nipple.  Coffin Box was a sweet vessel of orange-aide with a lil black talisman around her neck. Seamen Feeder with her Red Hair and a hash foot tattoo on her shoulder from last Ballarat Balls Up won an award. …..Grand Prize, Magnum donated by BP and Bent went to Tigermoth coming as Miss Pinky Perky in tight pink panties with pert pink pushed up pretties and pink feathered fascinator, she had considerable trouble getting the Mothballs out of her costume.

Urban Myth never mithed a beat with their up-beat selection of songs setting the Hash crowd swinging.

Salubriousness in the salon showed where Sweaty looked to have found her niche on a groovy night. Tons of tongue lashings between Hash groups could lead to and Ebola like epidemic of Whopping Cough cough cough cough cough…when you start it’s hard to stop. But we had to eventually early on Sunday Morning. On On.

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