Monday, October 3, 2016

3 - 10 - '16  Run 1790  Daylight Saving Run

DR ROWDY'S "shicky run" thru' the sodden bush around 5 Ways.
GM NUM'S  absence (due to man flu?) continued to "lower the bar"
& stand-in DUMB & DUMBER was in charge. ROWDY'S utterings
re: 1790 were Mozart's composition of "Cosi Fan Tutti" (English
translation "Women are like that") & the patenting of Shoelaces.
Athletes headed off into the mud (wasn't ROWDY'S Midland Golf
run in the mud?) & were eventually fooled into a false trail by 
D&C & the 'recently returned to running' BENTNOSE. 
3 barflys actually made it this week to the drinkstop Fat Yak et al.
Charges (may include, but not limited to), SILIC & PUSBUCKET
for their teams' win/loss in the Grand Final.
SS screwed ROWDY for his leaving the good weather behind
in South America, the run, the walk, the drinkstop & the well lit
Circle - great lights DUMBER.
DUMBER for his loser horse that got a crook ticker after a dose
of cobalt, & then the Bookmaker giving him a 10:1 bonus for his
honesty over a betting slip debacle. PEBBLES for being 
surprised that his runners weren't waterproof. PUSBUCKET for
for the 20 to 8 free kick imbalance in the Grand Final.
REAR ENTRY - Richmond now holds the record for the longest
wait for a Premiership win. D&C - most un-Australian going to a 
Stage Play on G.F. Day. MASTABAIT on his way to France (didn't
he just get back?) - what does NORMAL do now?
BP for a brand new Grand Niece. MRS DICKHEAD - something 
about buying new runners for PRECIOUS (Blog Bastard can't 
read his shorthand !!).
Birthday boys ROWDY & DUMBER.

Next week's run MRS DICKHEAD from the Market Pub.

Monday, September 26, 2016

26 - 9 -'16   Run 1789   Carboni's on Eureka

D & C's (supposed 8 km) run. DR ROWDY returned to give us the
sniffyc*nts of 1789 - the Fletcher Christian "Mutiny on the Bounty"
Welcome to Big Sky (son of TEFLON) - welcome back to PRECIOUS.
The "athletes" headed off in raincoats, hats & gloves, for a jog in 
the incessant rain, & finished at the drink-stop outside of the Pub.
7 Bar Flys braved the bar for the duration, (watching the Wags'
Brownlow display 'in & out' of their creations), & not even making
it outside for the drinks. Amongst the charges inside, were SS
for a red letter day & thinking "it wasn't really raining tonight".
PUSBUCKET & SILIC for their working class, & REAR ENTRY for
Richmond's so long out of the running for a Grand Final spot.
DUMBER & DUMBER spent half his weekend watching the muscle
girls, & CHRIS CROSS caught half naked in the women's toilet - 
we assume he was only changing !! PUSBUCKET & SPARTACUS
were afforded a drink on account of the fire at their "office",
JD's Bar. SILIC, resplendent in Doggie's hat & guernsey wasn't
giving up hope of Grand Final tickets. Son of TEFLON for his
Manbun.
That's enough !!
Next week's run - ROWDY. On on at 5 Ways - On after Top Eureka.

Tuesday, September 20, 2016

19 - 9 -'16     Run 1788    Athletic Club

1788  The Invasion ??? Of Course !! SPENCER HOCKING'S run.

GM NUM called the order, with a Happy Birthday to GILF, & welcomes
back to BUBBA, CHRIS CROSS, CANDIDA, ROAD RUNNER & GILF.
About a doz. 'athletes' headed off on the easterly run, & as usual,
a couple of bar flies couldn't even make it to the drink-stop, 300
yards away. SPENCE'S idea of encountering 'old trail', turned out 
to be trail from the PMT Hash the day before.
Stand in Screw MRS DICKHEAD eluded to us visiting many of
SPENCER'S favourite fantasy spots - the old Humffray St
State School, Ballarat Girls' School, the back of St Alipius (but we
were out of coloured ribbons), the School of Mines with a lingering
trip round the Child Minding Centre, & finally a Halt outside Crocker's
for a cunning look at some kiddy uniforms. 
Football charges - SILIC for The Doggies not being able to hang-in
for the Prelim & ROADRUNNER for the Hawk's embarrasing loss.
New Hash gear is obviously neat casual according to CANDIDA,
ROADRUNNER & BOOTROOTA, but SILIC still fronts up in his
un-sartorial excellence. REAR ENTRY still reckons STUBBIE'S 
beer is like cat's piss. HALF A BAR wouldn't f**kin', f**kin well
pick-up f**kin' DR f**kin' DEATH - nooo f**k him !! 
According to PUSBUCKET, BUBBA was doing the work of all 3 
of The Stooges, Larry Curly & Mo, & NORMAL caned,
PUSBUCKET  for no charges from the walk.
MOUNTIE won't jog in pantyhose - says "it sets them on fire" - 
must be fairly hot "down there" - you makin' the most of that Snag?
BHD charged for a photo that "resembles someone" on the 
Member's Blog, but it matters not - no-one ever looks at either
Blog anyway.
Some charges out of the window here as the Blog Bastard 
can't read his short-hand the next day !!
Next week's run - seems to be Pebbles (from somewhere),
hold that thought - it's now D & C from Carboni's on Eureka.

Monday, September 12, 2016

12 - 9 -'16    Run 1787    Miner's Tavern

SPARTACUS' run, & still no DR ROWDY to give us the 
sniffyc*nts of 1787. Well, of course, Capt. Bligh set sail 
from England on the Bounty.

GM NUM here (at last) to call the troops to order.
Welcome from Lakeside (spruiking their crap !!), to 
CHEESCAKE and EGGS & BACON. Welcomes back 
to PIMP & FASCINATOR, but don't encourage him !!
A run around the North in steady rain, to finish at the 
Sheltered Workshop, & much drying of gear by 
DUMBER'S bar heaters, all the while, looking over the 
abundance of yellow XD heaps of shit.
PUSBUCKET was stand-in Sergeant & nominated 
PLUCKA as Religious Adviser - she said "Might as well, 
good weather for ducks". 
Not running in the East was in contempt of the Gods 
according to PUSBUCKET no wonder we had shit 
weather. 
He pointed out the 'all male' painting on the wall, 
& it's depiction of a bygone Golden Era - 
No women at Hash!
SS screwed SPARTACUS for a good run & shame about
the religious adviser's choice of weather. An extremely 
well stocked drink stop at DUMBER'S & now that 
SPARTACUS is back behind the wheel (albeit unlicensed), 
he should be able to pick up BHD.
MOUNTIE lost her horn, & was probably the only horn 
she was gonna to get for the night. D & C got charged 
for "The hairs on her dicky-di-do" & & & &, I got so 
excited, I can't remember the rest !!
No need for Lakeside's sex deviant 2 DADS - we've
got our own - THE BILL
Hanging onto her tits caused EGGS & BACON to stack 
her bike.
NUMMIE'S certainly "raising the bar" - HALF-A-BAR 
is not coming at all.
Next week's run - SPENCER HOCKING at the 
Athletic Club (if it's open) - You'd think he would know.


Tuesday, September 6, 2016

5 - 9 -'16    Run 1786    The Grapes Pub

THE BILL'S run, & with DR ROWDY holidaying somewhere in South America, no significance of 1786 mentioned, except, (as everyone knows !!), that it's the year the Transport Ship of the First Fleet "Prince of Wales" was rebuilt, eventually sailing into Botany Bay in 1788.  THERE !!
Yet again, stand-in GM DUMBER called order - 8 "athletes", 'bout 12 walkers & 3 or 4 bar flys present. 
Welcome back to Intrepid Cape York Biker DOUGHNUTS.
SS figured it a nightmare to screw THE BILL, but at the end of the "Alley Run", the well stocked drink-stop saw the "athletes" arrive before the walkers. 
Well done THE BILL. How many travellers does NORMAL actually have ?
GM NUMMY came late - is that usual DUMBER ??
Stand-in Sergeant BENT NOSE held court with the Charges.
MRS DICKHEAD 500 Runs, DR DEATH for his sartorial excellence, BOOTROOTER pre-hash training walk, GLIDER for his "Mother Theresa - like" healing handshake, CHRIS CROSS for up market dining with school kids having snails, MRS DICKHEAD for hoping, but not being raped in the mall, & HALF-BAR the private school dropkick.  

That's enough !!


Next week's run, SPARTACUS (after much deliberation) at Miner's Tavern.

Wednesday, August 24, 2016



22 - 8 - '16      Run 1784     Midlands Golf Club

Significance of 1784 introduced by the very well Wiki-Googled 
SERGEANT ROWDY, the year Benjamin Franklin invented Bi-focal Spectacles.
Welcomes back to LOIS LANE after a 4 month break from hash crap, WYLIE son 
of SILIC back now that they are speaking again & bonding, & DUMB & DUMBER
standing in for GM NUM.
Runners soon got a taste of the swamp underfoot, on what turned out to be a 
good run, & to be screwed by SS as the run at Mudlands.
It was "HEAVY underfoot" as we paused for a Port & Swing Low at our Mate's
graveside. SHAFTED arrived by car as we were leaving, & too late to crack 
the 750 of Rum he'd left there earlier. Foster's night continued at the drink stop
with a welcome slab of blue amongst the green.
SILIC doesn't run (or walk) at Hash these days, but obviously can't even make 
the drink stop without falling arse over head into the mud, to which 
R.A. PUSBUCKET, was not having a bar of the kiss of life if needed. Back to the
On After & much drying of shoes & socks by the open fire. Dinner arrived early,
so down downs were downed on a reasonably full stomach. 
SHAFTED & DR DEATH eventually got their much postponed prospectus meeting
over with, bringing the lever arch out for all to see.
WYLIE made the illustrious ranks being initiated "PIMP",  brought about by his
association as purveyor of the horse flesh trade.

Next week's run, MOUNTIE'S Eureka Run from The Stockade MADE Museum,
& On After at Top Eureka.

Wednesday, August 17, 2016

Bad Hair Day ( the Blog Bastard ) at the controls!!