Tuesday, April 3, 2018

2 - 4 - '18     Run 1873     Miner's Tavern

The Committee Run set by MOUNTIE & PUSBUCKET, that
bugger all Committee were at. Even FOP had "other 
responsibilities" (according to NUM NUM), but only went to
see the Catters get rolled by 1 point at the 'G', along with 
other Committee - HEAD HUNTER & QUICK DICK.
Hash 28 were there, & as we rolled up, the Hares were busy
trying to appoint a Stand-in GM, from anyone. Eventually
BENTNOSE stood up & was on the front foot from the start,
saying, "welcome back to me, & who are you?" to 
BITCHFACE - "Oh, just another MOUNTIE failure".
MOUNTIE told us to stay on trail, take a torch, & there are no
unmarked On Backs. On on we went down Mair St., to be 
nearly taken out by a car on the footpath just by the Benz
shop. Round a few streets in the 'Fabulous East', & then up 
that f*ckin' hill from VAG's Run - you know, they said "the 
long creep up the hill", but that was THE BILL
The Athletic Club brew was plentiful at the Drink-stop - & 
where was that? At the back of the Tavern - who knew?
Also who knew? FOP was absent - enter MRS DICKHEAD.
At the On After, BENT was bereft of charges but not of
dialogue - who knew again?? He saw that GEORGE  
PELL- ICAN was present, but not the thug barrister.
Much to TEFLON's surprise, he became the instant Stand-in 
Screw, saying "good run with plenty of checks & halts, & the
big hill", but a flaccid effort with an 8.9 score. MRS D screwed
the walk, generally giving NORMAL a pasting for his lack of
authority, but PAULINE blinded everyone - big torch?
BENTNOSE welcomed himself back & then Richy, EXIT, SILIC,
BITCHFACE, & REAR ENTRY. After DUMBER's piss weak 
effort of 'give us an A', we had NUMMY roaring it out. All the 
while NUTCRACKER was doing a sterling job as Stand-in 
Grogmaster, & looked like she's poured a beer or 7 before.
Then came Stand-in Sergeant DR DEATH with his 1st charge
for the Pre-Easter drinkers - MOUNTIE, NUM & (for not 
working out when they were on) JITTERBUG, & then BAD
HEAD JOB for trumpfarting with the Austrian Boys Choir.
MRS D became the Stand-in DIMWIT for her gag about
MOUNTIE & "I've got no nails" to put you up.
                           (She's the meanest ....... ).
MOUNTIE charged NUTCRACKER for her 'Jesus like' 
daughter - Arriving Friday & leaving Monday, then
NUTCRACKER had a 2nd for her near miss with the car on
Mair Street. 
D&C was out for being "the 61 yr old drinking water at the
Drink-stop" & of course, NORMAL had to be stand-in drinker.
NUMMY gave TEFLON a drink for whatever (?) about the 
On-backs, & then Toppy was the "Brown Abominable 
Snowman".       (Put it in your hand Mrs Murphy).
MOUNTIE had BITCHFACE, NUTCRACKER & PLUCKA out
the front for their On On calls, & THE BILL for his On On
humping. 
ROWDY charged NORMAL for 'slipping' in his old age -
hasn't managed yet, to steal Toppy's red T shirt & put it up
for sale.
HALF A BAR & BHD had a drink for the SPEECHLESS 
charge - "You were his f*ckin' music playing mate - he's f*ckin'
out there - did you say f*ckin' g'day - did you buy him a f*ckin'
drink? - he's f*ckin' Scottish you know, etc etc.
Toppy had to sing the chant for the JITTERBUG, LOIS LANE,
PAULINE & BENTNOSE charge, but said "Give us an A ........
a B".
SS was telling NORMAL about the moles on his back, but 
NORMAL said, "there's only one way to get a mole off your
back - pay the bitch".
Seems that REAR ENTRY had negotiated for too many free
jugs, so on came the give-aways to GLIDER, THE BILL
PLUCKA, D&D, GILF, TEFLON et al., to which ROWDY led
the chorus of "Oughta be ..." (don't you just love it ??).
GLIDER could easily become the new DIMWIT, with his
long-winded God gag about BENTNOSE, & NORMAL had
his big rant about being the BBQ cook & having to put up 
with PLUCKA's shit !!

Next weeks run - 1874 - Mystery Bus at 6pm from carpark 
behind Skin Ski - another freakin' "dress-up" - arrrgh !! 



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