Tuesday, April 17, 2018

16 - 4 - '18           Run 1875            AGM

The "FOF" AGM (f*ck off FOP) from North Bowling, that saw
a Hash 35 congregation. HEAD HUNTER called us around for
her last time, & then FOP went thru' his. He had welcomes 
back for EGG & BACON, & KOK UP (put your hand up 
KOK UP - think we'll leave that to Dr ROWDY!!), CANDIDA
HER VAG told us that the run would be cold & wet, not very 
long, & marked in 'spray' chalk. 15 Bar Flys stayed back to
drink, play bowls & drink again, while FASCINATOR had 
breathing trouble, & was back after only part of the run.
The Drink-stop was only down the block, & well stocked,
complete with plenty of chips (forget about the salt & 
vinegar - seagull BENT was lurking). NORMAL & LOIS LANE
had to console one of the locals, who thought we should
have given the neighbourhood prior warning of our
impending 'flash mob'. D&C was looking for a 'warm hand'
when she 'came', & then MOUNTIE said that she'd been 
running round in circles - aren't the blocks up that way
fairly square-ish?
At the circle, FOP had welcomes back drinks for KOK UP,
& then for the horde of past GM's. FANG was there as well
to collect his key ring from last week.
                              (Get a life, life, life).
FASCINATOR was there for his final screw - "the GM's 
partner", HER VAG, saying "it's where no-one's been".
In the end, he'd only done part of the run, couldn't be 
stuffed, & had a fascination level of "nuthin' ".
                               (Shitty trail ....).
SPENCER HOCKING was next for his final 'Sergeanting'
(much to DIMWIT's delight) & charged PLUCKA for sitting 
down during the circle, and KOK UP & FOP were there for 
some reason (?) as well.
                  (Put it in your hand Mrs Murphy ..... ).
ROAD RUNNER were up there for the palindromic charge.
      ...... Ohhh, here we go ....... (Oughta be ... ).
LOIS told her 3 man gag where the 3rd man didn't come,
& as 1 joker drinks, out come the other dimwits, f*ckin' 
HALF A f*ckin' BAR & DIMWIT.
                       (She's a harriette .......).
CRUTCHLESS & HER VAG were next for setting half of the
run each, then D&C charged Richie for not wanting to know
any of the Hashers when he saw them at the Miner's Tavern.
EGG & BACON had GILF & TEFLON out for GILF being
exactly like TEFLON, then PEBBLES to DIMWIT at the 
Lal Lal run, saying about the car's blinkers .... yes, no,
yes, no, & as 1 dimwit drinks, you too HALF A BAR
                               (No no, bad bad ....,.,).
DUMBER gave ROAD RUNNER the Hawthorn 'Hawks'
just how come FASCINATOR came back from the run with
a sore throat, & QUICKDICK was in there somewhere for
having no Hash gear.
MOUNTIE charged DIMWIT for saying on the run, "whenever
you have an erection, you should build a fence around it".
DR DEATH charged JITTERBUG for not knowing West from
East, & as 1 Dr drinks, you too ROWDY, QUICK DICK
DR DEATH.            ( No ).
EXIT was next for the U turn, & FASCINATOR for his 
optometrist gag, then all the jokers drank - HALF A BAR,
DIMWIT & LOIS. The "little miss muffet & the kurds got
in the way" was next, & of course, DIMWIT chimed in with 
the "Italian suppository - the innuendo", (he must open a 
f*ckin' lot of bon-bons !!).
BP disgraced herself, spilling the red wine, & then 
CRUTCHLESS congratulated HEAD HUNTER for knowing 
all of the songs.
SHAFTED gave us a lengthy demo on the resurrected 
Flop O Meter that gave FOP another drink, & then the last 
charge of the "FOP watch", was for DIMWIT & his adulation
of SPENCER HOCKING's demise, but as 1 dimwit drinks, 
you too HALF A BAR.
FOP's over the moon by this stage, & eager to announce 
the new GM - enter PEBBLES & "The year of the Car".
He mentioned "raise the bar, & lower the bar", & now,
at least it's still rhyming.
New Committee are Sergeant SHAFTED, Screw MOUNTIE,
Trail Master DUMB & DUMBER, Choir Master QUICKDICK,
Religious Adviser & Hash Flash DAZED & CONFUSED
Hash Horn TEFLON, Hash Cash CHRIS CROS, Grog Master
NUTCRACKER, Keeper of the Book PLUCKA, & Scribe,
(repeat offender) BAD HEAD JOB.
QUICK DICK was charged for dressing up in civvies for the
night, new GM PEBBLES for the dodgy AMP deals caught 
out by the Royal Commission, & "Year of the Car", piped in 
by the music "Jump in my Car".
The booze flowed all night on the "Hash Tab", & bill of fare
was Chicken Pieces & various salads, followed by cakes,
chocolate & vanilla, & peppermint creams.

Next week's run - 1876 - Hare THE BILL, at The Grapes,
                                                                         Grant Street.



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