Tuesday, January 31, 2017

30 - 1 -'17              Run 1807            Morrison's

HALF A BAR's run from home. At first, a short delay waiting for the 
(full to capacity & more) DUMBER bus to arrive (what's on the bus !!).
1807 (where are you ROWDY ??), oh well, Poet Henry Wordsworth 
Longfellow born. 
NUMMY kicked off with welcomes' back to Janey (minus crutches),
WAIT A WHILE, & Steve (PEBBLES' mate).
Runner's & walker's headed off (maybe it's clockwise this year!), 
quickly to find stuff all trail, but we all eventually wound up at the 
Cemetery Drink-stop  & traditional "Swing Low & On On" to 
HALF A BRA - May 2011. We put Janey at ease after her jaw dropped -
she had a bit of trouble deciphering some of the "Cummin' 4, 2, Carry
Me Home" movements. 
Back at the circle, NUMMY toasted Janey, WAIT A WHILE, BAR LICKER
BP & BENT NOSE for welcomes' back, Birthday Boys MASTABAIT & 
GLIDER, & Wedding Anniversary to BAR LICKER
SS screwed HALF A BAR for something about a sticky wicket (?), &
can't blame the weather for a washout - there was just no trail - but
at least a good Drink-stop at the Dead Centre, & to celebrate the life
of HALF A BRA - 2011, & the good support of BAR LICKER.
DUMBER & DUMBER - he's the man, Coach Captain, Hash Cash, 
Keeper of the Book & Grog Master.
Stand in Sergeant SPENCER HOCKING charged JITTERBUG for no 
reason at all, D&C, SHAFTED & Steve for their advertising of 
Nash Hash, & TEFLON, MRS DICKHEAD, NUM NUM, PUSBUCKET
HALF A BAR, PEBBLES et al as Ambassadors.
HEAD HUNTER QUICK DICK had a drink for not going to Nash Hash,
JITTERBUG for being the most recent to register & FASCINATOR 
charged EXIT 'cos she couldn't 'come'.
HALF A BAR & DR DEATH for their most un-sartorial "bad look" at
Hash, & D&C made it to 50 Runs.
HALF A BAR's "sticky deck" meant the 5 second rule blew out to
about 5 months (good thing we could make the BBQ red hot !!), 
NORMAL was "off the grog" since the Drink-stop & HEAD HUNTER
charged DR DEATH for his side act - "grunting" on the exercise bike.
PUSBUCKET drank up for his lack of attention to pastoral duties - dry 
pastures due to the lack of rain, & FASCINATOR charged Janey for 
some speech impediment (?).
R.A. PUSBUCKET had an epiphany, summoned the demons for Janey
to "cast away the crutches" - Just a smidgen etc .... then arise 
"CRUTCHLESS", & immediately FASCINATOR charged CRUTCH...
for not locking the front door at home at some stage.
Question ....... Did anyone notice REAR ENTRY's absence ??

Here Endeth ........

Next Week's Run .. PUSBUCKET's Cricket Run from South Gardens,
next to the POW Wall.




Wednesday, January 18, 2017

23 - 1 -'17           Run 1805           Waubra

FASCINATOR's run on the grassy fields at Waubra. 
NUMMY welcomed Hash visitors WAIT A WHILE, & URI, & the
injured Janey (on crutches), with welcomes back to GLIDER
EXIT JITTERBUG.
About 22 Athletes took to the grass in full sun, while 9 Bar Flys
& Janey quenched thirsts in the shade of the On After tree, till we 
all met in the barn out back, for the drink-stop, with some runners
either lost or taking their time to arrive. Back at the On After,
SS screwed FASCINATOR for his local "animal run" thru' the 
paddocks, the good weather/venue & well stocked drink-stop (the
phantoms hadn't even drunk it all !!). JITTERBUG thought it 
was a c**t of a run, & TEFLON complained that THE BILL had
all the heifers.
Stand in Sergeant SHAFTED produced the newly removed bag
of testicles, that someone had said they looked like pebbles,
so PEBBLES had a drink to celebrate that they weren't his, but
SILIC could certainly use one & get rid of his rubber implant, &
MRS DICKHEAD charged MOUNTIE & PUSBUCKET for training
as Ball Breakers. Janey drank up for falling off the ladder while
looking for her Wii & "was that only crutch she could get"? 
JITTERBUG did a calf on the run, & FASCINATOR for always
"doing his calves". DR DEATH bought up the sniffycunts of
1805 (where were you ROWDY?) James Squire planting the 
1st Aussie crop of hops.
HALF A BAR was making too much noise (who knew?) for the
sleeping night shift nurse in the house. MOUNTIE charged EXIT
for having a 'lip' either side of the wire on the electric fence.
HEAD HUNTER didn't worry about gaiters - hers are for the 
snow in Oslo. MRS D charged SS for the 'topography' term,
but with HEAD HUNTER, PLUCKA & NUMMY out in front,
should it be 'bottomography' or maybe 'top-off-ography?'
R.A. PUSBUCKET rose to the pulpit to initiate the previously
un-initiated DR DEATH, ( move on people - there's nothing new 
here !!) .... just a smidgen etc etc .... arise "DR DEATH".
SHAFFY charged DR DEATH for his 8 years at Uni, & NUMMY 
for her 2 &1/2 yr 'Gap Year'. JITTERBUG had a drink for wearing
sandals on the run, & for having to pick grass seeds out of 
her pants. REAR ENTRY & SILIC celebrated REARY's 
appointment of a new Managing Director / Tech Expert
in SILIC, & URI had no idea what was happening tonight,
but couldn't get the smile off his face !!
DR DEATH charged DUMBER for trotting out the old "your
car's not going" trick.
That's enough !!
Next week's run - SILIC - short run, then barefoot bowling
at the B'rat North Bowling Club.



Wednesday, January 11, 2017

9 - 1 - '17          Run 1805         Miner's Tavern 

REAR ENTRY's Run.

Dunno !!    Blog Bastard a 'No Show' - talkin' Dutch for a couple 
of days with the Adelaide In Laws.

Did hear that there was a large shortage of beer for the Hashers tho'.

Next Week's Run - FASCINATOR, Home at Waubra ?

Monday, January 2, 2017

2 - 1 - '17          Run 1804          Sorrento Drive

About 21 attendees for LOIS LANE's run from home. The Choirmaster
sounded the horn for the last note of the Jazz Convention & to start the
New Year of "Raising the Bar", as GM NUM welcomed BAG OF DICKS.
12 super athletes began the run, to be caught up to by the late SHAFFY,
(Tom Jones - Not Unusual !!) who drove the 1st KM. 
2 windswept drink-stops later & we were back at the On After - 
F off NORMAL - PAULINE's in charge of the BBQ.
NUMMY welcomed BAG OF DICKS with a down down, & as all dicks
drink together - enter QUICK DICK, MRS DICKHEAD & HALF A BAR.
DUMB & DUMBER was a real dick, for advertising his $540 horse win
that wasn't. 
Screw SS said that LOIS would've been "throbbing" all week waiting
for his screw - the walk was good, nice & flat, the 1st drink-stop was 
punch, the 2nd well stocked with nice cold beer.
Sergeant ROWDY's sniffycunts of 1804 was Australia being named by
Joseph Banks & Matthew Flinders, & the 1st Brewery at Parramatta.
SHAFTED was down downed for sniffycunts of 595 - not hash runs,
but recent placings of his horse(s), 5th, 9th & 5th.
DUMBER made it to 1050 runs, TEFLON ran last week in Wagga with
8 other hashers, & HALF A BAR could only make it to the On After.
THE BILL drank from his new runners, BAG OF DICKS celebrated
SOS & TIDY TWAT's engagement, DUMBER's was a rebound, as
NUMMY had done a mini audit of the book, to find LOIS had had the 
worst attendance on record, with only 2 to front up, & BAD HEAD JOB
was at the "Jizz" Convention all week.
Re the Burrumbeet Cup, TEFLON tripped up on a single rock, & 
PLUCKA had drinks for her arse presentation & BUBBA's horse win.
DUMBER mistook SPENCER HOCKING for LOIS LANE as they 
rode their bikes toward the drink-stop.
HALF A BAR charged LOIS & PAULINE for living in a different
house every time they have a run, & SPARTACUS was almost morose
for missing his love, PUSBUCKET.
ROWDY charged the "pious prince of pomposity" BENT NOSE,
as being a "prescriptivist" - layman's terms (a Pedantic F**king C**t).

Next Week's Run - REAR ENTRY from his office, Miner's Tavern.

Tuesday, December 27, 2016

26 - 12 -'16       Run 1820       Committee Run

The walk you have when no-one's there to run. The Bar "dropped to 
the ground" with a resounding "twang" with no GM NUMMY, but 
only 1 of the Committee - Hash Cash DUMBER as the proxy 
(or was that poxy ??) to run the show. We could only manage a 
four'm, not a quorum, & were over-run 10:1 by the visiting Jazz
Conventioners (eers) at REAR ENTRY's office - the Miner's Tavern. 
PLUCKA had it right with her quip " at least the best looking ones
made it !!"
The 4 lonely Hashers looking for a life - DUMB & DUMBER, FLUID
MOVEMENT, PLUCKA & BAD HEAD JOB headed off on the 3/4 hour
walk, where the first stop was an on back/security check & to put
out the bins at the sheltered workshop.
With no drink-stop on the walk, we were soon back at the 'on after'
with no charges or down downs, but we did have one on the 
Committee (thanks DUMB), & at least we were able to talk about
everyone & anyone who wasn't there. 
Special mention to BOOTROOTA after his surgery, & for a speedy 
recovery.
We went our separate ways around 9pm, while BHD shon up the 
Convention Badge to head off for a week of serious jazz listening.

Happy New Year to all.

Next week's run - LOIS LANE's.

Monday, December 19, 2016

19 - 12 -'16         Run 1801      Christmas Run

On On from The Sheltered Workshop, with 30 or so starters.
GM NUM welcomed back HYMEN ( & MOUNTIE's wet already).
Welcome to BOOBS & BUNDIE - visitors from Noosa.
A drink for all to start off, & the 1st carol - Little Drummer Boy
for DUMBER & DUMB. HEAD HUNTER had a huge smile - never 
heard such endearing lyrics in a Christmas Carol.
First stop - upstairs at the newly named Sporting Globe Hotel,
where HYMIE copped an abalone clam on his face from MOUNTIE,
and BOOBS & BUNDIE had a drink for planning to stay in the
Aldi Carpark. NORMAL was stand in to take a Carol & drink, 
for the absent PEBBLES' schlong (.... but doesn't everyone say
"NORMAL's a C**t ??).
Next stop the Miner's Tavern & we run into the short cutting B's,
PUSBUCKET, SPARTACUS, REAR ENTRY & ROAD RUNNER.
REAR ENTRY's Carol says "he doesn't care which hole he's in".
QUICK DICK had a drink for shagging HEAD HUNTER (in the words
of the Carol) "in the Icelandic way, giving QUICK DICK great delight",
but all dicks drink together - enter HALF A BAR.
Onwards to STUBBY's Athletic Club Bar and PLUCKA's Carol,
"cause PLUCKA DUCK comes tonight" - (we wonder), then
MRS DICKHEAD "made a little squeak, till her moan rose to a peak".
We also raised a glass to the Publican & past GM STUBBY.
At the Robin Hood, SS had a drink & Carol as HYMIE's 
replacement ?? ( dunno - can't remember !!).
On to Irish Murphy's where we sang HALF A BAR's "seed being 
wildly spent", & SHAFTED's (wait for it & sing it thru'),
DA Da DA DUT DUT Da DA Da DA DAAR, & the Sweet Chariot 
Anthem, for our dear departed HEAVY.   On On.
BENT NOSE found a dummy for our very own "spitter" NORMAL,
& NORMAL wasn't even in a red T shirt !!
To the On After, Top Eureka and we sang again for MRS D, for 
"clenching thighs on fingers curled up tight", & for the Balding
BAD HEAD JOB, "his red locks growing sparse, was born on
Guy Hawkes Day".
And so, "it's goodnight from him", & Merry Christmas (Nooo -
NOT f**kin' Holiday !!) & Happy 2017 to all.
On On.

Monday, December 12, 2016

12 - 12 -'16     Run 1800     343 Miller's Rd.

TEFLON's run. MRS DICKHEAD was stand-in Choirmaster & called
the order, then NUM NUM took the floor in the official Grand Master's
coat to celebrate the Ballarat H3 1800th.
9 Super Athletes took to the run, soon to be caught up to by ROWDY,
after he had discovered the Drink Stop. The run was "a little challenging",
presenting many hills for us old farts, but we still managed to have our
first stubby before the 5 walkers appeared at the Crowny DS. Thanks for 
the choice of a shorter walk for the Short Cutting B's TEFLON
THE BILL TEFLON had first drinks at the On After, since they sprinted 
to the line for a dead heat, after tackling the 'long run'.
Welcomes back to LOIS LANE & FANG.
The 'oldest Ballarat H3 T shirt' entrants lined up - SS, LOIS LANE
ROWDYDUMB & DUMBER, SPENCER HOCKING & BAD HEAD JOB.
SS screwed TEFLON for the weather & a great walk out in the bush
for the 5, but "don't know about the run".
         He said that GLIDER was well considering having treatment.
         GOGO's funeral was a fitting celebration of his life, many there 
         & his 3 Daughters spoke very well.
ROWDY proclaimed 1800 - the year of 'Aussie Glory', sending the
first Merino fleeces to England.
TEFLON had a pedantry charge for his 'errant apostrophies' in the
past week, & LOIS LANE brought along her 'historic survival kit
Hash bag', complete with condoms, tampons & a bottle opener.
FANG for looking good on his Vespa step thru', NUMMY for catching
the 18 foot-long snake - putting a box ( not hers!!) over it's head,
GILF for maybe being TEFLON's lucky night.
CRIS CROS wrapped ROWDY up in the tennis net, in case of a 
mossie strike, & MASTABAIT knew everyone in the area by name,
including the dog outside Ponga's gate.
LOIS LANE commiserated NZ Cricket's 3rd loss & the fact that
retiring PM Key doesn't want to know about it.
NUM had a drink for her 'oldest shirt', GILF for the Full Moon
charge, & PEBBLES for his 'biggus dickus'.
An ample supper by NUM & DUMB of Ham on the Bone, salads,
rolls, quiche & cake - very nice !!

Next week - Christmas Run from the Sheltered Workshop & 
On After at Top Eureka.

SS thought one of his most memorable nights at Hash was when
FOGGY wanted to take him to bed.
ARSO made a remark that he (ARSO) wouldn't be much good
in bed 'because you can't push a blancmange through a letterbox'.
JISM got his name for being caught out 'rooting' on the run.

Over & out !!