27.7.2026 Hare. Deep Heat. ( thanks to Precious in setting the run)

Venue. Deep Heats home
Bun ing yong..
Run 2319..
Did everyone hear that? 2319.. That’s 2319. Just in case you didn’t hear..or not paying attention!!RUN 2319
( here’s a hint! Cinderella!Next weeks run will be 2320).
Drink stop. We were treated to a “ Sinful Adult Affogato!”.Vanilla ice cream drowned in port!
Just what the doctor ordered!. But not Dr Rowdy.
Welcomes. Geelong hash
Can’t add any more important information as I asked for the note from Cinderella! I checked it today and all it had was a “0055” number.
So.. good feed. Snags and onions. Thanks to MasterB for doing the cook up
Next weeks run.
Commemorative Run for SS .
Venue. Fish hatchery . Lake Wendouree.
On after. Top of Eureka
On On.

20/7/2026 Run. 2318

Committee Run.
Venue. Irish Murphys.
Down Downs. Trades Hall.
History fact.The Ballarat Regional Trades and Labour Council Incorporated is the second oldest Trades and Labour Council in the world, founded in 1883 from the Ballarat Eight hour committee established in April 1856 on Bakery Hill.
Sniffy runs. Spencer Hocking.1150
Charges. Quick dick for being slow.
Squizzy and Pigs arse for literally being fallen HHH. Almost face planting in the run.
Hashy Birthdays. NBCL and Doddle nuts.
Apparently jokes told. Not even funny.
Best joke from Doodle Nuts on the walk.
A lady comes home from her Doctor’s appointment grinning from ear to ear. Her Husband asks,” why are you so happy?”.
The wife says, “ the doctor told me that for a forty five year old woman,I have breasts of an eighteen year old.”
“Oh yeah!” quipped her husband.
“ What did he say about your forty five year old ass?”.
She said, Your name never came up in the conversation!”.
Next weeks run.Deep Heat
305 Barkly street
Bunningyong.

13.7.2026 Run 2317

Hare. Carpet Burns
Venue. Grapes on Grant street( short stroll for Boner).
Screw. Quick Dick
Run was solid.great show from Sovereign Hill.Well marked but a “ dick and balls” was painted on trail. Carpet balls not that artistic. So not guilty.
Welcome backs. Head hunter,Quick Dick,Nurse Batshit,DrDeath,Bent nose, Cat flaps, Rowdy and no name.
Sniffy runs. Head Hunter 300. Mounty 676,Cat flaps 21,Teflon 45,309( according to A.I) must be true.
Committee shirts were handed out. Some not as slim fitting as others. Had to wait a while for delivery. Just like the pizzas..
Some not even given one or had their name on the shirts.. shame, shame shame.
Pink bits birthday. Happy hashy birthday .
Charges. D& C charged by Quick dick. Her ankle braclet was going off! Forensics are still chasing her. Might find her as it was lit up like the sovereign hill lights.
Dr Death charged. Going to be forever remembered in the hall of fame/ life member at Redan footy/ netball club. Congratulations. Fantastic achievement. Saturday at 6 pm at Redan Club rooms. City oval.Come along and celebrate.
Some HHH won’t even be remembered next week!!
Next weeks run.
20.7.2025
X mas in July
Venue. Irish Murphys
Wear your Xmas gear
On On

Run #2316

Hare.Pebbles
Venue. Wendouree squash courts.
Back to the venue.
Screw. Precious. The run was long and cold. Some got lost and ended at the residence of an almost fallen HHH .previously known as Scum bag. Now known as Spartacus but may be re named .. fked Achilles.
No sniffy runs
Welcome back. Beer fk
Charges. The father and Son from behind the bar! Great job boys
Half a bar charged cause he was having difficulty with wordle. Fuck is not a 4 letter word! But fucks is.
Pink bit and precious charged. They had a wild weekend. Pink bits has a fked knee. Precious had eye and hand co ordination so couldn’t play netball…but managed to coordinate the porcelain bus!
Not very many funny or witty charges.
Funniest goes to Nutsy.
Asked about Mitty weekend. What happens at Mitty! Stays at Mitty!
She did report it was wet and moist and some of the holes were very rough!
Next weeks Run
Carpet burns
Venue. Something completely different!!
The Grapes on Grant Street.
Woo hoo
On On

Run #2315

Paying our respect to Shafted. And many HHH . Who knew Heavy and are heart broken. run for heavy. Thank you all for turning up!
Hare . Shafted.. very loved brother.Our hearts are broken 11 years ago.
perfect day by Lou reed.. Respect needs to to paid to our fallen HHH. And shafted. And all HHH. Respect

22.6.2026 Run. 2314 Hare.I.C Venue.Queen Victoria street.

22.6.2026
Run. 2314
Hare.I.C
Venue.Queen Victoria street.
Welcome backs. Deep Heat, Boner,Lois Lane,Rowdy,Disco,, Donuts,NUM,Dumb and Dumber,Pigs Arse,Spencer Hocking ,Sparrows fart.
Sniffy run. Carpet burns. Dart board 180.
Screw. NBCL. Told he had to screw but only screw will be Nutsy. But he took one for the team.Not much to report.
Hashers got lost at the lake.No idea where the drink stop was. Charges from the run.
Cinderella had no idea where the drink stop was either but had the keys to the car with drinks. Not helpful.
I.C charged by donuts. his drink stop was next to rubbish and a dumped freezer. No beer inside and worried his car might be mistaken as junk. So no worries of it being stolen.
Num charged Normal for complaining he had a bad foot. But he doesn’t even have a good few inches!!
Bad hair day charged! Don’t know why as too bloody noisy. Bad hair day more concerned his plastic jacket might melt on his body as he was too close to the fire.
Deep Heats joke. Prince Charles had a dog that was pretty ugly and fked up. Found a genie in a bottle that gave him two wishes.
Prince Charles requests the genie to fix his fked up ugly dog.
Genie replied he didn’t think anything could be done.
So Charles asked for a second wish. Charles asks” Can you make Camilla as beautiful as my first wife?
Genie replies” let me take another look at that dog!”. ( very fkn funny deep).
Next weeks run.
Commemorative Run for a fallen HHH. Heavy ( 11 years ago)
Hare. Shafted
Venue. Grapes on Grant Street
On On

Run 2313 - 16/6/26 Venue. Croatian club Hare. Spartacus

Run 2313
16/6/26
Venue. Croatian club
Hare. Spartacus
Back at the rooms. Screw. NBCL
Run included some undulating terrain. Too dark to appreciate it.Marked in fluro pink paint. Pink bits loved it.
NBCL was almost impaired by tripping over some large metal object that turned out to be a sheep headlock apparatus.Thanks Tommy half a bar for the insights into sheep bondage.
At the drink stop, Normal and Nice member toppled over by sitting on a fence that couldn’t handle the truth or their weight!fallen fence sitters!
Normal came out and announced he has been gay for 72 years.If one gay drinks! All gays drink.
Criss cross charged Spartacus for having fine bone china cups for the charges!Gay! No. He’s not!
Lots of gay references.
No significant runs.
Venue. Excellent. Food. Fantastic
Next weeks run. I.C. 13 Queen Victoria Street.
She was not gay but a big Queen.
On In.

Run 2311 01/06/2026 -Normal & Mastabait from the Queen Alexandra Bandstand, dinner at Eureka Pizza. First anniversary of SS's passing.

Sniffies:
Teflon's birthday
People Pleaser charged for Winter existing.
Welcome backs:
Cat Flaps
Teflon
GILF
Pus Bucket
Screw by NBCL:
I love a sunburnt country, with droughts and flooding rains. Beautiful night for a run. Contender for Shithouse Run of the Year.
IC
Can do quick, maybe funny. He attended a trivia at night at Aunty Jacks. One question asked what was the fastest man-made object. The answer told of a satellite NASA had crashed into Jupiter. Clearly the person who wrote the question hadn’t seen Bad Hair Day at a drink stop when someone asks, “who wants a traveller?”. PP charged for befittingly theatrical weather.
Mountie charged Precious for taking off during run again to piss.
Cinderella charged Jus Cum because she was about to get blown.
Pigs Arse charged Bad Hair Day and Pink Bits for whinging on the run. Rebounded as he was actually on the walk.
Lois charged for rubbing wet bits on Pink Bits.
Precious charged Pink Bits to sing a song for SS. Sweet Chariot sang for SS.
Tommy charged for being late.
Bad hair day charged for mouth farting.
Next week’s run will be from Meaghers Hotel, 194 Victoria St, Ballarat East VIC 3350

A.I assisted. 18.5.3026 Run 2309 Grapes hotel Hare. Boner

IM addressed the circle outside. “We have returned to the Grapes and I propose that Boner be referred to as the Wizard of Oz as there is no place like home”!. Much laughter from the group.
Boner addresses the group with instructions. “ there are distinct and separate trail for runners and walkers.
AI interpretation. “ the speaker is confused and frustrated about the trail instructions expressing strong negative emotions”.
Back to the pub Quick dick
addressed the circle
A.I interpretation.
I commend the hare for the trail set . Innovative display specifically the distinct arrows and designated paths for both walkers and runners. While some minor refinements may be necessary, the overall concept is highly regarded.
Runners arriving before the walkers. Well executed!..
First drink stop served a poignant tribute to a departed harsher at Faulkner street. Thoughtful and moving gesture. On on SS
Drink stops were exemplary featuring a selection of refreshments and nutritional snacks.
Welcome backs.
Nutcracker, NBCL,D &C, Spartacus,Jus Cum, Pauline, Sue , Headhunt and Carpet burns.
Significunt runs.
Campaspe. 299
I.C. 222
Quick Dick. 323
Birthday celebrations. Nutcracker. Turned 21 yet pension application disputes this info. Congratulations.
Charges. Sue. Attended last weeks venue thinking possible error in her destination. It was clarified she arrived at the correct location but unable to locate the group, she left. The group were in the back room
Num Num charged Normal. Whilst cleaning out her cabinet ( sounds like the Liberal party) she found a sign that said” JOHN IS GAY”. And wondered if this was true?. Group agreed in the truth of this information and much laughter was had by all.
IM charged Carpet burns for going to Bunnings to get a Polish sausage. A.I interpretation. Lucky there are lots of Polish men at Bunnings
Deep Heat charged for looking good.
Lois lane charged. A I Unable to decipher. Sounds like” I must come! Good job!! TAKE IT AWAY.
Next weeks run. Yet to be decided.
A.I interpretation. All shall be revealed in the fullness of time.
On On

Run 2308 11/05/2026 -Bent Nose from the Bunch of Grapes Hotel

GM, Pig's Arse stated that he had changed committee name to Team Dickhead. He also forgot to appoint a stand in Grog Master. This role was graciously filled by Mrs Dickhead.
Welcome Backs:
Fascinator and Mrs D
Sniffies:
No Name 22,
Precious 383,
Pig's Arse 59 (not 69),
Cinderella 121,
Mrs D 900; received a shirt,
Num 869,
Nice Member 22,
Boner 101; received a cup,
Pink Bits 202.
Screw by Quick Dick:
Award Bent will be up for is the Kettle; saying the committee was shit. Start of run looked like a tour of where Bent takes his dates; the drains, then Vic Park. Wasn’t much run after Vic Park. Long checks were challenging and likely a result of cost of living as Bent didn’t wanna waste chalk. Run ended up in the dark in the middle of nowhere. Drink stop came to the runners. Though, there was some weird gluten free shit.
Sergeant IC:
Runners got lost on the way to the drink stop. Walkers got lost on the way home. He then charged Mrs D with a happy Mother’s Day. Though, IC should be keeping his distance as Mrs D just got off a cruise. All Dickheads and mothers were then charged.
Lois charged by Rowdy as she came on her own.
Nummy charged Beer F*ck for puking everywhere at the Royal Oak.
Beer F*ck was charged for riding scooter.
Quick Dick charged Lois. Lois said Gwyneth Paltrow has candle that smells like her vagina, Lois has never been close enough to smells hers.
Mountie charged Precious for going back to the pub for a toilet stop. Cinderella attempted to double charge as precious stated he needed to stop home to go again however, Mrs D was already occupying the facilities.
Fascinator had been concerned that the committee might take on his adage of 'I may have fcked up', instead they just need to take a sht.
Casual relief Grog Mistress, Mrs D and PP doing 3 jobs were both charged.
Next week's run is Boner/Renob from The Grapes Hotel,
121 Grant St, Golden Point. I have it on good authority that there will be a decent walking trail.
PP,
On on

Run 2307 04/05/2026 -Criss Cross from Platypus Drive

Welcome Back:
Beer F*ck, Cassie
Sniffies:
Boner 101
Num 868
Nice Member 21
People Pleaser 55
Pink Bits was presented with 200 runs shirt 'committee shirt in progress'. Late because of GM’s ‘dickhead brother’.
Screw by Quick Dick:
Started with a Star Wars theme. CC pushed through the GM and took over; not allowing GM to get a word in.
There will be no third place due to limited number of people. Granted the eco friendly award due to the sparsity of markings on trail. There was only one drink stop rather than the handful that had been promised. CC was calling his own trail and even called runners back to do an on back.
There was a halt in middle although Rowdy played the hero by calling a halt 10 feet from the marked one. Then he went on to call Nummy, ‘Yum Yum’.
We can’t wait for the other four drink stops. Runners gave a a thumbs up or down for the run. Sparrow Fart had no comment. Campaspe sucking up to hare.
GM attempted to charge QD because he'd called the Dickheads irrelevant. This rebounded.
Sergeant was worried about brining car to Mount Clear as it would get confused with any other shit-box white commodore.
He then charged Beer F*ck as resident musician and Pink Bits for snoring in time with the dog. Nice Member was then charged for rivalling BF's band. BF won with a song.
Pink Bits charged Mountie for Stag being a member of 'the other cricket club'.
Mountie charged Campaspe for seeking pussy at the sewage farm.
CC was charged for nailing masks to trees. Next run in the area will have an 'on back at the dead tree'.
Cinderella charged IC for his double fisting of soup and beer. Cinderella then demonstrated the correct hand position.
Campaspe was charged because CC likes flora and fauna and Murray cod are coming back and may be found in Campaspe.
Interim Grog Master, Teflon was charged for pouring too much beer.
Pebbles charged all former GMs.
Next week's run is Bent Nose from the Bunch of Grapes Hotel, 401 Pleasant Street, Ballarat Central.
PP
On on.

27 April 2026, Run 2306 Hare Nummy Nummy Num Num, from the Park Hotel.

A run from the Park Hotel at the end of a glorious weekend, celebrating beautiful Autumn weather, the Ballarat Marathon festival, the footy and ANZAC Day commemorations.
We set off after a welcome to (country) Alfredton, with a 4 km loop past the Arch of Victory, through Vic Park to the Olympic rings, across to the POW memorial via the tramway museum and ending in a well stocked drink stop.
Back at the Park, the GM commenced proceedings with sniffy runs, of which there were a number, but managed to come without his important props; so BoneRenoB will have to wait until next week for his ceremonial 100 run goblet. He did get a Tshirt. Lois Lane celebrated run number 1111, and rather belatedly Pink Bits was acknowledged for run number 200. Well done, but it was really funny watching Pinky almost explode with excitement prior to her presentation, then snorking with relief once her time had come. Get a Life
GILF and GOLF. Either I missed the welcomes back, or the GM did, however Gilf and Teflon reappeared after some time away. I suspect the reason for attendance was so Teflon could tell all that Gilf won some golden spurs while seated on her horse. He seemed proud and happy. Not to be outdone, Nummy won her golf last Thursday, beating a full and high class field.
Not on the winners list was Essington, Lois asking if anyone could consult the Dead Sea Scrolls to find out just when the Dons last won an important footy match. Pigs Arse tried to deflect attention away from his poor planning by singing the Essington song, but consensus was that the buck stopped well and truly with him, and will for the next 12 months.
The Screw has settled seamlessly into his role. Quick Dick calculated that as the run was set during the marathon, it should have taken Nummy 12 minutes from start to finish, based on the London world record pace. I think Dumb slowed her down. The old rusty screw from last year was incensed that Nummy was calling her own trail (Mountie, fuck off ya cu#t). Mention was made of the glimpse of the Arch, and the visit to the POW memorial. A strange trail mark consisting of an arrow inside a Halt led us into Vic Park, notable for medical advice re uppers and downers being sought, and a lonely parked car which seemed to be rocking. The engine was running, presumably so the aircon was on to prevent windows from fogging up.
Nummy was heard to muse upon the beauty of her lakeside trail, at least it was when the sun was shining. QD gave it a FANTASTIC rating. Shitty Trail.
It was pointed out that trail also passed the Honour Avenue for Ballarat’s Paralympians, obviously in Boner’s honour. publicly pissed on
The Sargeant is also showing promising signs early in his tenure. He commented the Pigs Arse week on / week off leadership fits in perfectly with his child minding duties, and reminisced about his school days with a paedophile teacher, musing how well groomed he was as a student.
Spence was charged for taking a short cut through Vic Park on the way to Hash, loitering, and probably to visit the parked car. Pinky asked Head Hunter for some tips around being a choir master, and ended up with a cat o nine tails to whip recalcitrants into shape. Ex GM Precious was discovered to have used creative accounting with his run numbers; subtracting for some reason.
Competitors on the weekend marathon festival were given a down down. IC was celebrated for being a Hash paragon, not training, and not giving up the grog Ar sol
Despite our pally ANZAC relationship, it was pointed out the the hash cash could not be balanced/banked due to a dodgy Kiwi coin in the tin, Build a bonfire
And that was about enough for everyone.

Next weeks run, on Star Wars Day, Hare Chris Cross, 14 Platypus Drive; park by his back gate in the Mt Clear Oval reserve.

Run 2305 20/04/2026 -Fascinator from The Stag Hotel, Learmonth

Welcome Backs:
The Bill, Deep Heat, Dimwit, Normal, Beer F*ck, Mimico, Her Fanny, and Pauline

Visitor:
Felicity Shagwell.

Virgin:
Jason who shares his name with every man his age.

Sniffies:
JusCum on 303, Jason on 1, Fascinator on 272, No Name on 21, Boner on 99.

Screw by Quick Dick:
First run of the year; it was the best of runs, it was the shittest of runs. Fascinator claimed the trail was cleared away by a street sweeper. This is BS as the marks are from 5 years ago. The Bill doesn’t remember much but knows this track backwards.

We wouldn’t want to offend the locals but there an apparently fewer degrees of separation in Learmonth than the usual 7. The runners encountered two generations of Nutcracker’s family. There was also a bleeding sheep. Yet where is Tommy Halfabar?

The drink stop had chips, lollies, and booze. Buxtons called, they said well done for so many people at the open house. It was then concluded that it was the shittest of runs and Fascinator needs to be out the state by the end of May.

Her Fanny, Mimico, and Beer F*ck’s Missus, Carmen, were late for their welcomes back.

Sergeant IC:
Learmonth. Not sure it’s water in the lake. Disco and Fascinator must have drank the whatever it is because look at em.

New Religious Advisor PP has started strong as we had good weather.
Choir mistress, Pink Bits showing up her predecessor by signing more songs with greater variety.

Hashy birthday Bad Hair Day. Pebbles acted as proxy.

GM, Pig’s Arse charged for giving late notice to Cinderella to be GM tonight.

Pigs Arse charged again as he and his Labour mates have sent squash balls to Canberra to Albo.

Why did the jelly bean go to school? It wanted to be a smartie.

Dimwit’s family moved to Washington DC. A USA hash song was taught to the circle. Lyrics to the tune of Take Me Out to the Ball Game.

Nutcracker then finally realised Felicity Shagwell is American and received a charge.

NBCL charged for being North Melbourne supporter and wearing PJs.

Felicity Shagwell was charged because she taught everyone a good song but Trump did not see fit to use it in his campaign.

Felicity Shagwell was charged again because Trump has been in office several times. New USA song. Incest Time in Texas.

Lois charged for attempting to make a charge from after the run when it was not yet time. She made her charge anyway from inside the circle. IC and Mrs D were charged because IC asked, “Do they commemorate ANZAC Day in NZ?” and Mrs D should have taught him better.

Service people of NZ were charged.

Lois was charged again but Pink Bits was whistling loudly. Cinderella was charged for being part of the new muppets cast.

Pauline charged for noticing that there was no flared base on a phallic object. IC and Pink Bits were both charged for the object being too small. Head Hunter charged for being a nurse seeing many an object lodged inside people.

F*ck Off Ya C*nt sang to Fascinator, who is moving to QLD.

Next week’s run is Num and Dumb from The Park Hotel Ballarat, 1615 Sturt Street, Alfredton.

Reluctantly,
PP
On On.

NEW COMMITTEE 2026

Grand Masters – Pigs Arse & Cinderella
Hash Cash – People Pleaser 
Choir Master – Pink Bits
Trail Master – Precious
Sergeant – Immaculate Conception & Shafted
Screw – Quick Dick
Grog Master – Nutcracker
Keeper of Book – Campaspe
Scribe – Carpet Burns and Precious 
Hash Flash – Pink Bits
Hash Horn – Cinderella
Religious Advisor – People Pleaser and Mountie
Messiah – Bad Hair Day

RUN 2304 – Committee Run - AGM – Monday 13th April 2026

Well, what a big night, thanks to the outgoing GM Precious. It was the AGM, Awards Night and Black-Tie Night all in one. The run was very short, but the drink stop was well stocked. Our 3-course dinner was free, there was a generous tab on the bar and we even had Andy Pobjoy to entertain us.
Welcomes backs went to Half-a-bar, F*ckwit Phil, Donuts, Cassy, Squizzy, Fop, Her Vag, Bad Hair Day, Campaspe, Fascinator, Carpet Burns, Handy Job Joy and Pebbles. Sniffy runs were awarded to Mrs D on 898 and Donuts also on 898. As I now have the book, I can also see that we missed Pink Bits on 198! Visiting GM’s were also charged, Y2KY Jelly and Pussy, both from RPH3 and Campaspe from PMT H3.
Mountie took the floor to screw the run and began with a quote from revelations and moved on to a joke about Bad Hair Day and People Pleaser drinking at a bar together. The Earth was about to be destroyed in 7 days. Bad Hair Day asked People Pleaser what he would do in his last week. People Pleaser said he’d f*ck anything that moves. People Pleaser then asked Bad Hair Day what he was going to do with his last week. His answer was “Not move”.
Sergeant NBCL began with some footy charges that saw all the Essendon supporters charged followed by all the Melbourne supporters. We were then told that Renob saw a lady getting out of the shower, as she bends down to dry feet he says “Oh I wish I could bend like that.” People Pleaser and Half-a-bar (with a fresh hair cut) were charged for looking like Dick Emery. Half-a-bar and the tall Peninsula 4-some were charged, as the Peninsula must be giving out growth hormones. IC was charged for overuse of “Give us an A”. There was something about “For 2 Night” being 2 weeks in an Italian accent. Y2KY Jelly charged us for making the run too short, the scribe and screw are also too short. Precious was charged as someone threatened to call police at the drink stop. The GM was called incompetent, and he needs to be removed. Pus Bucket was also charged as the outgoing grog master, and a man of few words, leading to a raucous rendition of f*ck of ya c*nt. We proceeded with the awards (you had to be there for all the nominations and funny stories) and announced the new committee (see separate posts). That’s me signing off for this year. Good luck to the new scribe.
Next weeks run will be hosted by Fascinator from The Stag Hotel in Learmonth
On On

AWARD WINNERS 2025/2026

Arso/Clubman – Rowdy
Shit Hot Run – SS (Nutcracker) – SS’s memorial run from trout hatchery
Shit House – Her Vagesty – Tour of Alfredton
Piss Pot – Cinderella - Spewed
Spectacle – Half-a-bar – Going to wrong house, SOS’s neighbour
Pot calling Kettle Black – D&C – Called SS short
Tight Arse – Disco – Watching all the money
Dummy Spit – Immaculate Conception - Over seat stealing
FIGJAM – Pigs Arse – Bin Incident

Run 2303; 06 April 2026 Committee Run, Hare Mrs Dickhead from the Golden City bandstand On After Eureka Pizza and Pasta

The Sovereign Hash went through the motions of the penultimate run of the current Committee. Mummy dearest had to set the run, we did get our Sergeant back, still no scribe, and no sunshine. It would have been difficult to top the previous weeks’ run, and so it was proved. The highlight was the passage of a train, splitting the pack with flashing lights and clanging bells, electric whistles accompanied by four of Bobby Peel’s finest interrogating a pedestrian opposite the Reptile Gulch workshop.
Drink stop set outside the back of the Town Hall, with cans accompanied by the chiming carillon as well as chips and lollies.
Once back at the bandstand, the GM welcomed new runner Jacqui, introduced by Sparrow Fart. Boner was also given a welcome back, even though he was absent. Mountie began her screw with a quote from Proverbs 15:22 (“Plans fail for lack of counsel, but with many advisers they succeed"), but not in this case. Mrs D led the runners valiantly from the rear, while her second son got the walkers horribly lost both due to lack of counsel, and lack of ability to follow basic instructions. Shiggy Trail
Sergeant NBCL took a while to warm up, and once he did, had a run of Easter religious and footy related quips. D & D was asked what his spirit animal might be – “extinct” was the reply. Nummy’s father confessed towards the end of his days that he used to love to eat a bilby. She blames his dementia.
Mountie played golf during the week, had a gentleman collapse prostrate ahead of her. She calmy stepped around him and played through. Shafted demonstrated his knowledge of the inside of a massage parlour, and Pink Bits cracked the reason why Jesus is so popular.

.. because he was hung like this
It was about now that Normal pointed out that both he and Criss Cross had been away for some time, and should be welcomed back. After some discussions regarding Country Members they both got a down down.
Most proceeded to a convivial dinner at Eureka.

Next week will be a triple whammy; BLACK TIE NIGHT, AWARDS NIGHT and AGM at the Royal Oak Hotel, Raglan and South streets. 

Ballarat HHH Run 2302, 30 March 2026 Hare Rowdy, from St Georges Lake, Creswick On After Farmers Arms, Creswick.

The Last run of Daylight Savings means a Bush run, and the commemoration of Midnight’s demise over 33 years ago. Trail went from the car park, down along the Creswick Creek, crossing through the Portuguese Pit and along some well mined bush tracks to Slatey Creek, the up to a viewing platform overlooking Blue Waters and back to the drink stop at the Lake Car park.
Moonrise and sunset both featured, the GM pointed out a nearly full waxing gibbous moon, just after the equinox, perhaps presaging a second coming. The phrase “one of the greatest runs of all time” was mentioned.
Back at the pub for the circle, welcomes back to Quick Dick and Head Hunter, Cinderella, Shafted and Fascinator. Sniffy runs to People Pleaser 50, Shafted 888, Faucett 21, and a welcome to new runner Sue. “We’ve got Virgins”

Mountie began her screw by quoting Luke, rather than Matthew, and proceeded to an anecdote regarding Rowdy screwing someone in his consulting room, then asking what the appointment was for. “Herpes” was the answer. “Shitty Trail”
Shafted filled in at the last minute as Sergeant, and began by asking for volunteers for his run 888, three fat ladies. The only suitable candidate was IC. New runner Sue was charged for not being hot and sweaty, Lois Lane for not being there, and looking for her bag which was across her shoulder the whole time. Other charges concerning a quiche and a Carlton vibrator were offered.
Mountie finished with her Midnight limerick. When asked to describe Midnight to those who never met him, Bent offered “a good bloke with white teeth.” ON ON
Next week’s Easter Monday run is from the rotunda in Sturt St with a meal at the top Eureka.

RUN 2301 – Pigs Arse – Trades Hall – Monday 23rd March 2026

Apologies were made for Deep Heat not being able to make it up the stairs to the circle. Boner arrived late and apologies were also given with the announcement that Carpet Burns is back. Welcomes backs went to Carpet Burns, Pebbles, Squizzy, and Beer f%ck. Sniffy runs were awarded to Teflon on 444, NBCL on 313, Bad Hair Day on 1313, Pebbles on 669 and Jus Cum on 300, who also received a commemorative T-shirt. New runner Jacinta received her first down down and when asked “who made you cum?”, she indicated Cat Flaps.
Mountie wanted to begin her screw, but Pigs Arse was nowhere to be found, so Pus Bucket, you’ll do. Matthew 2323 was quoted with mention of justice, mercy, and faithfulness. The trail was noted to have lots of halts to keep us together, just maybe not every 5 sec as we kept running up everyone’s arses. At the drink stop there was no petrol crisis, but we did have a beer crisis. We ran out of beer! Jacinta had to drink cider. Shame! Cat Flaps and Bent nose were called to the front. At this point, Deep Heat arrived to the cheer of the crowd. He told us all to f%ck off. Back to our best 2 engineers, they had a car crash, both died and showed up at the gates to heaven. After meeting God, they were told that heaven wasn’t for them and that they should go down there. While down there, they fixed everything, so that everything was amazing. God also wanted things fixed, so he asked them to move back upstairs and threatened that he’ll sue if they didn’t come. They answered, “where are you going to get a lawyer.
NBCL began with the observation that Nutcrackers Grandfather was on wall. He used to tell her bedtime stories, that always began, “once upon a double time”. Disco was charged for helping a little boy who had lost his dad. When he asked the boy what’s he like? He answered, “big tits, and whisky”. When a homeless guy was asked “Knock Knock” he answered, “who’s there?” I thought you were homeless. Pigs Arse was charged for scheduling the circle up 5 flights of stairs, Precious said “he’s not here” so “you’ll do”. Pigs Arse was collecting the pizza’s, perhaps he doesn’t know that delivery can be arranged. Dumb then charged himself and announced that he had a lovely motion this morning, prior to the general business. Immaculate Conception was charged for being a good Samaritan, helping those in need by not having a lockable fuel cap. Precious was also charged for being the only dickhead with a car with a lockable fuel cap, and crashing it. The teachers were called to the front by Pigs Arse for a presentation. Some union shirts were distributed among Jacinta, Mrs D and others. After asking “Where’s Fang?” Jus Cum answered “he’s not here”, so she was charged. Jus cum and Spartacus scored another charge, after the traumatic birth of baby Wee Problem, Spartacus was told that his wife didn’t make it. The punchline was that he’ll bring you the one she did make. Jus Cum was also charged as her new shirt was black, not red like the union members. Bent told us that Hash used to only have 1 perfect c%nt, Normal. But now BP is in St John’s getting a perfect vagina. The comeback was that now she is hoping to get a perfect dick. Mountie dissed the ES staff, and Jacinta was asked to explain why, People Pleaser, Jus Cum and Pink Bits were only worth half as much as teachers. For our last charge, Spencer charged Mastabait, as his princess is going to Spain for 4 weeks to walk the Camino. All who walk this trail are asked to carry a pebble, to represent carrying a burden. Since Mastabait is not going, he asked Nummy to bless a stone for her to take.
Next weeks run is in memory of Midnight (not at midnight). It will be hosted by Rowdy, with the run taking off from St George’s Lake and the On After at the Farmers Arms Creswick.
On On

RUN 2300 – Pink Bits – Scarsdale Hotel – St Patrick’s Day - Monday 16th March 2026

We were welcomed to the Deep Heat special, where everyone can sit down during circle. Some of us were still eating meals since this was one of those weeks where meals came out and we ate before the circle. Cat Flaps was awarded a welcome back drink and sniffy runs were awarded to Cat Flaps on 19, Faucet on 19, Campaspe on 292 and Nice Member on 16, The young ones were educated with a Neil Sedaka version of Sweet 16. We also acknowledged our Western Suburbs visitor, Plunger.
Nummy was missing because she’d been bitten by a dog, Big Dog was called for, but he wasn’t here. Mountie screwed Pink Bits with something about archangels. We saw many animals on trail, ants, llamas and kangaroos, but trail markings were harder to find, perhaps they were washed away. I missed Mountie’s joke while climbing a chair to turn off the music. Might have been better to ask someone other than a short scribe to do this?
NBCL asked if anyone was still eating, Dumb was the only one. So we had a masticator and a Masterbaiter. Pus Bucket and Mountie were charged, it was Pus Buckets birthday and when asked “where are you taking me?” “From behind” was not the right answer. Mountie and Pus Bucket also had a traumatic experience during a bank robbery. Someone asked if it was a sperm bank, and some quick-witted hasher asked if they swallowed the evidence. Back to the joke, the robber asked who saw his face and killed those who could identify him. Pus Bucket was asked if he saw his face and he answered, “No, but my wife did”. Nutcracker was charged as someone stole her car. When asked if she saw who did it she answered “no, but I got the number plate”. On trail, Lois told Mountie, do you know what I like about you?... Nothing. We also heard that Faucet’s grandparents used to own this pub. Pigs Arse was charged for driving back from a gig on Saturday night. He then messed up his joke about sheep in a fence resulting in a rebound charge. Mountie was given a St Kilda supporters charge which was followed by a Kangaroo’s supporters charge. Tommy was charged for looking like a bring your son to work day (he was wearing a Shrek hat) and Mountie was charged for being traumatised by llamas and kangaroos. Pink bits was charged for setting her trail twice and not making it shorter. Pigs Arse messed up another joke and when asked where Bad Hair Day was, the answer that he was the one in green, didn’t really help. Pink Bits drove a carload back from the drink stop, Lois with her long legs in the back seat was charged as she could have walked. Mountie had a St Patrick’s Day charge which was followed by a chorus of God Save our King. Rowdy and Nice Member were charged on the run, where Rowdy was trying to run away. Spencer Hocking was charged for planning to move to WA and do FIFO. He’d heard that there were a bunch of minors over there. Nutcracker got that one, only after D&C explained it to her. NBCL then stuffed up his charge and we charged Mick for hosting the drink stop. Mick was also a mate of Heavy’s, so we sang Swing Low, Sweet Chariot. And another verse for a mate of Nice Member and Pigs Arse. We finished up with the news that Disco’s pussy is recovering well, after being shaved under anaesthesia following an altercation with a bush.
Next weeks run will be hosted by Pigs Arse from the Ballarat Trades Hall, Camp Street, Ballarat Central. 
On On