RUN 2274 - Fop – Downlow Medal night – 18 Sligo St Alfredton – Monday 22nd September 2025

RUN 2274 - Fop – Downlow Medal night – 18 Sligo St Alfredton – Monday 22nd September 2025

See post from Fop regarding all the results of the Downlow medal vote count. And….the winner of the Downlow medal was….Precious. Along with the medal, Precious scored a drink from the giant penis glass. This week, Welcome Backs went to Pauline, Dim Wit, Quick Dick, Head Hunter, Boner, Deep Heat, Num Num, Jus Cum, Spartacus & Spencer Hocking. Next, Sniffy runs of mention went to Dumb & Dumber on 1448, Num Num on 848, Disco on 88, Teflon on 424 and Fop on 484.
Moving on to the screw, Mountie quoted revelations 218, talking about the cowardly vile layers and Collingwood supporters, so all the Collingwood supporters scored a drink including, Pus Bucket, Cris Cross, Rowdy, Nutcracker and me. Next, there was something about the cat and the mouse to the lion or is the lion the mouse to the cat. This weeks run was noted to have toured 4 local footy grounds and there were several times when the walkers merged with the runners. Another footy reference, at our half time we’ve got Big Dog not Snoop Dog. Of course, Nutcracker piped up to say, “he’s not here”, so as you can expect, Nutcracker scored a down down.
Our Sergeant, NBCL, was about to begin, but was called to stand down, because Dim Wit was here. Dim Wit’s joke went like this, what’s the difference between vitamins and hormones? You don’t hear vitamins. Which was followed by, what’s the difference between a gynaecologist and a genealogist? One looks up family trees, the other looks up the family bush. And another one, how do you make a hormone? Kick her in the crutch.
After all these jokes NMCL began by continuing his Sunshine story. The local church had selected a new minister who was quite strict. Four Nuns came forward for confession. The first Nun confessed that she had stared at the crutch of a man. So, she was told to wipe her eyes with holy water. The second Nun confessed that she had grabbed a man’s genitals, so she was told to wash her hands in holy water. The fourth Nun quickly swapped with the third Nun. When questioned why, we were told that she didn’t want to gargle in the holy water after the third Nun washed her ass in it. This resulted in our Religious Advisor, Num Num, getting a drink too.
Continuing our footy themed evening, all the Hawthorn supporters were dragged into the circle of shame. Spartacus, Head Hunter and Quick Dick getting a drink this time. Bent Nose was the next hasher called to the circle, as he had fallen up the step before the run, was seen to later fall down the step and also had to ask for help with the child safety gate. Fop was charged for his tricky house, and for nearly killing Deep Heat with very cold beer. Campaspe was charged for causing all PMT hashers in Port Fairy to miss the 800m final when she accidently changed the channel when trying to turn the volume up. This was followed by, when one Dr drinks, all Drs drink. Fop, Rowdy and Quick Dick joining Campaspe for this one. Mountie was charged for breaking the “what happens on the weekend away, stays on the weekend away” rule. Head Hunter was charged for saying that she was starving, she was so hungry she was ravishing. Precious was charged for taking on more roles at COOCH, he’s now GM, Hash Horn, Downlow medallist and self-appointed Hash gynaecologist. Fop was charged as it was speculated that he may have asked ChatGPT to award the medal to someone related to him. Mountie was charged for noticing that Cris Cross in his blond wig, was resembling Nutcracker, which was made funnier when NBCL agreed. Fop was charged for the appropriateness of his Geelong jumper. The foot on it resembling our Hash logo. I didn’t catch why Mountie scored a charge here but moving on, Cris Cross was charged for his outfit resembling a cross between Darcy Moore and Gandalf. Half-A-Bar was charged for something about being catholic and D&C was charged for her delayed realisation for why Nutcracker was upset by her resemblance to Cris Cross, when he’s got a beard. Fop and Her Vaj were charged next, with some Dick van Dyke humour and for one of the most memorable movies of all time with flying bicycles. Bent Nose got a reverse charge, as he is usually the one saying that visual gags don’t work. We finished with an announcement telling everyone to take care of the step, better late than never.
We finished with the announcement of Next Weeks Run. Next weeks run was scheduled to be set by SS. However, this will now be a committee run, set in memory of SS. The run will begin from the Trout Hatchery in Gillies St. The run will cost $10, including a $5 donation to the Hatchery. On after will be at Eureka Bistro.
On On

RUN 2273 Cinderella’s 21st Birthday Ball with run set by Precious and Mrs Dickhead – Royal Mail Hotel – Monday 15th September 2025

RUN 2273 Cinderella’s 21st Birthday Ball with run set by Precious and Mrs Dickhead – Royal Mail Hotel – Monday 15th September 2025

This week we began the circle by acknowledging the Royalty of our venue, which initiated a raucous version of God save the King, much to Mountie’s dismay. Welcomes back went to Fop, Her Vajesty and Fascinator. Next, Sniffy runs were awarded to Spencer Hocking - 1413, Mountie - 1513, Pink Bits - 169, Masterbait – 1666, Precious – 350, Mrs Dickhead – 870, Disco – 87 but the most important one was D&C – 400. A commemorative T-shirt (with the correct number of runs) was presented to D&C to mark this occasion.
Mountie began her screw by berating the young people for not supporting the Republic. She talked about Tiaras and shit. Mountie quoted the Queen of Sheba and told us that she now understood what buggery means. We were told that Mrs Dickhead set this run, but it was also co-hared by Precious. A hasher with one ball was the next topic of discussion, to which D&C predictably said “he’s not here”, so she got the “you’ll do” charge.
NBCL stepped up to tell us the ongoing story of happenings in Sunshine. After last weeks dramatics, the diocese advertised for a new minister. Ten people applied, but the congregation wanted to ensure that there wasn’t a repeat of the issues with the last minister. So, they stripped all the applicants and tied bells to their old fellas. One at a time, they showed them a naked lady and waited to hear the bell ring. There was silence until the last applicant. Ding, ding, ding and the bell fell off. He bent over to pick it up, and all the remaining bells rang. Pus Bucket received the next charge, for his Mamma Mia impersonation or was Liberace missing his shirt. The parents of Cinderella, Fop and Mrs D, scored the next charge, along with the birthday boy, Cinderella, who was 21 today. Fop was awarded a second drink, as it was his birthday the next day. Next, Pink Bits charged IC for not making any dinners for her over her very busy weekend. During this time, IC was said to have eaten KFC, but since she’s not here, Pink Bits, you’ll do. Mountie charged Ding Dong for getting lost on the way to Mount Xavier Golf Course, which is hard to do as there is only one road in, so by association, Pink Bits scored that drink too. Rowdy was next, being charged for trying to out Catholic an O’Halloran and the birthday boy was also charged again. Normal and Half-a-bar were charged with an accompanying safari story about a lion with one eye. This was a visual gag that is difficult to scribe but ended with throwing of stones towards the lion and something about running away. Campaspe was charged for resembling Cinderella’s grandmother, I corrected this to be Aunty Paspe, as I am sometimes referred to by Cinderella. Half-a-Bar was charged with another story about a moral dilemma with 2 buttons, one to kill 1000 Kenyan’s and the other to kill Aussie’s. There were lots of F’s and this ended with the punchline that there was no instruction that any button need to be pushed. Mastabait scored the next charge, as the resident bird expert. When asked what bird the feather that Campaspe was wearing had come from, he answered an Ostrich that had a fight with a blue rinse. While we had not quite reached the end, a cake appeared and all the red heads were charged, Rowdy, Disco and Cinderella taking this one. Someone asked if this was the first 21st at Hash, but no, SOS also had his 21st celebrated at Hash, so Precious took this one, since he was wearing the SOS Hash shirt.
We finished with the announcement of Next Weeks Run. It will be a Brownlow themed event and Fop will be our next Hare. The location will either be the Golden Point Cricket Club Rooms (if their renovations are timely), or otherwise it might be at 18 Sligo St. Stay tuned to email/Facebook for updates. Supporting the Brownlow theme, we are asked to wear footy gear or red-carpet attire.
On On

RUN 2272 Faucet – Golf House – Monday 8th September 2025

RUN 2272 Faucet – Golf House – Monday 8th September 2025

Before the run we were informed of the death of Graham Greene. This was then clarified as the actor. We were reassured that our Rear Entry is still very much alive. After the run we began our circle with our welcomes backs that went to Pauline, Pebbles, Bad Hair Day, Big Dog and Bent Nose. Sniffy Runs were then awarded to Faucet on lucky 13, Mrs D on 869 and Billy who dared to return for run number 2.
Mountie began her screw of the run with a homophone, where she explained that she might have go force it. We were then reminded of last night’s blood moon. Our run took us through the cemetery where we saw a magnificent full moon. Cinderella’s fall was mentioned, as were the slightly different trail markings, we saw many tiny round circle’s, just like drips from a faucet. Mountie also complained that the tiny arrows were a bit few and far between.
The next topic that was mentioned was Fascinator’s dentist. At least his teeth are nice and white. NBCL then told us about his dramatic week in Sunshine, where the big bike had been stolen. The local minister preaching to his congregations was talking about the commandments and before he got to, thou shall not steal, he mentioned thou shall not commit adultery. He then remembered where he left the bike. We were then told about Half-a-bar who was having problems with Cecil the ram, not producing. The vet came and gave him a pill, this was successful with rampant producing, but it wore off and the vet was called again. Half-a-bar asked for the same pill, but couldn’t remember the colour or shape, but said that it tasted like aniseed.
Half-a-bar then got the first charge for his earlier conversation with Precious. He’d been saying that our numbers at Hash were pretty good. Precious mentioned that they weren’t so good when everyone was in Vietnam, to which Half-A-Bar said he’s not that old. Mountie was then charged for her impression of the school for the gifted cartoon, she was trying to push the door that said “slide”. Pus bucket was then charged. Mountie explained that she had lost her church hymnal, but Pus Bucket found it at The Millers Arms, when he was there drinking alone. Spartacus was then charged for not joining him. Faucet was charged for questioning early in the run if our hash was ok going through the cemetery, and the run went there anyway. NBCL was then charged for spitting in cemetery. Cinderella was charged for testing a speed bump on trail and Teflon was charged for looking for real estate in the cemetery. Squizzy stepped up to show us that he was now learning another new language, Croatian. Half-a-bar was then asked to swap shirts with Faucet, so he had a local shirt to take back to Broome. Rowdy stepped up and provided a shirt, as he had several with him. Lois and Pauline were then charged, as it was suggested that they might give him something from their garage sale. Jus Cum was then charged for coming back from toilet exhausted and Cris Cross was charged for picking up cans. Bent was charged for something about f#@king the kiwis. The Haberdasher was then charged for Faucet’s chalk H3 on his shirt. Mrs D was then charged for missing the drink stop as she desperately needed a toilet and she went back to the pub, not realising that there was in fact a toilet at the drink stop. Cat Flaps got the last charge, just because, to get rid of the last beer.
We finished with the announcement of Next Weeks Run. Cinderella is having a significant birthday, and we will be having a Ball in her honour at the Royal Mail Hotel. All are requested to wear your best ball gown.
On On

RUN 2271 Teflon – Robin Hood – Monday 1st September 2025

RUN 2271 Teflon – Robin Hood – Monday 1st September 2025

We begin this week with welcomes backs going to Gilf, Squizzy and Wee Problem. Sniffy runs were then awarded to Mrs D on 868, Cat Flaps with sweet 16, Nutcracker for her 400 runs, Quick Dick for his 300 runs and Billy on 1. Commemorative T-shirts were given to Nutcracker and Quick Dick.
In a change to our usual order, we then moved to Next Weeks Run. We were informed that it would not be set by Rear Entry, as per schedule, since he was injured (again). A call was then put out for volunteers to set a run, as we were in urgent need of a fill in hare.
Moving on to our Screw. Mountie asked us to bow our heads as Teflon had provided us with a smorgasbord of young folk and Billy was served his first run. Cat Flaps and Jus Cum were told to take note, as trail this week was well marked and the forecast spring rains did not wipe out trail. It was no surprise that Cinderella stumbled while out on trail and some notable sightings on trail were Forbes St, the Synagogue and a primary school. Mountie then mentioned that Teflon had tried to start his own church but couldn’t get any adherence.
Our sergeant NBCL stepped up and since he didn't make the run, due to missing the train, he was somewhat underprepared this week. Nutcracker was charged as NBCL had been able to convert her to a Forbes. NBCL was then charged for no Hash gear, but he revealed that he had in fact worn his Hash socks to work, so this rebounded to Rowdy. Squizzy was then asked to show us the new languages he has been learning. He began with some German, however, this offended Carpet Burns. Squizzy then demonstrated some Italian which was followed by some Greek. Normal was then charged for something about a 1 min timer and Disco was charged for being late, it was speculated that he was hiding his machete. People Pleaser was charged for his espresso martini, and we were told that it was much better than the amaretto sour he had last week. Pink Bits and IC were charged for their recent romantic trip north to Port Douglas, it was observed that they sadly returned with no rock on Pink Bits finger. Normal was charged for when he was a young apprentice, he filled lots cracks at the Barkly St school. Faucet was then charged for his hometown of Broome. Genitalia and Pizzle are currently in Broome, and have found hash trail on their adventures. Our virgin runner Billy was then called to the front and asked the usual questions. He revealed that he made himself cum. Precious was then charged, as it was noticed that although Nutcracker had reached 400 runs, her commemorative shirt only says 300. Shame! Billy then received another charge as he was heard to ask if we had a song book, he was keen to learn our songs. The final charge went to our GM, Precious. Lois was somewhat dismayed that he gave her a box of hash gear for storage, despite their current downsizing.
As an afternote, Faucet kindly offered to set next weeks run, and while it was a TBA on the night, it has now been announced that the run will be from the Golf House Hotel.
On On

RUN 2270 – Jus Cum – Black Hill Hotel – Monday 25th August 2025

RUN 2270 – Jus Cum – Black Hill Hotel – Monday 25th August 2025

Our GM began the circle this week by being thankful that Spartacus was at bar to tell him where the drink stop was located, as Precious and several hashers had lost trail. We then welcomed back Num Num and Mountie from their trip to Queensland. Sniffy runs this week went to Faucet on 11, NBCL on 282, Quick Dick on 303 and People Pleaser on 21. Lois Lane then sang the “21 today” song to commemorate this occasion.
Mountie began her screw of Jus Cum by wondering if she was also going through a divorce, as she compared this run to last weeks trail, complaining that there was not much chalk or flour, again. Jus Cum claimed that she used 2.5kg flour, but there was little to show for it. She then quoted from her bible, where Judas was late for the last supper, his excuse was that he had “jus cum”. Mountie’s final advise was to take less notice of Spartacus for future trails and this will make the run better. It was also noted that in the absence of Pink Bits, it was a nice touch to use pink chalk when setting the trail.
Our sergeant NBCL then took the floor and began with a few jokes. I missed the finer details of the first joke that was something about Dumb going to a brothel in Darwin and choosing from the menu list on the back wall. The second joke was about Mountie on a terrible flight. There was a dog on the plane that was a trained sniffer dog. The dog checked the bags on the plane and indicated with a paw on the trainers left knee. This meant cocaine. After checking another bag, the dog indicated with a paw on the trainers right knee. This meant heroin. After checking a third bag, the dog shits all over the owner of the bag and the bag. Mountie asks what that means. The trainer says it's because the dog found a bomb. NBCL then asked where’s IC. Mountie answered, so she took the charge. The joke was about IC and Pink Bits, NBCL had been asking about their sex life. After being assured that it was great, he asked if IC had tried any of the other holes nearby. The answer was no, because they can’t afford children yet.
Mountie was then charged again, for being a good catholic girl who went to church for confession before her run. She asked for forgiveness for the sin of vanity, looking in the mirror she was so beautiful. The priest said it wasn’t a sin; it was a mistake. Lois Lane was then charged as was Faucet. At the drink stop several hashers were trying to work out who Shane Bilston was, as he had commented on the Facebook page. It was then discovered that this was Faucet. This was followed by a comment that some hashers have no name, so No Name was charged too. Rowdy then charged Cris Cross as he was talking about washer, but really, he meant Faucet. Mountie then charged Pus Bucket, as earlier in the day on her way back from the airport, she had sent many messages of her travels back to Ballarat. Beginning with, eagle has landed, moving on to passing the Marsh, and then going though Dunnstown. Upon arrival, Dumb was there with flowers for Num Num, but Pus Bucket was still home asleep on the couch and had to be reminded to come and collect poor Mountie, despite her travelling commentary. Mountie was then charged again, as after the plane landed and the engine was turned off, her whining didn’t stop. Mountie, Precious, Quick Dick, Head Hunter, NBCL, Dumb and Lois Lane were then charged for losing trail and arriving at the pub to ask Spartacus where the drink stop was located. Quick Dick was then charged for extreme disrespect to GM. Num and Mountie were charged for their tour of the Scenic Rim. Precious was then charged for getting lost on trail, but when Mrs Dickhead tried to call him using the dickhead group chat, the only ones who answered were IC and Pink Bits, in Queensland. Mountie then charged NBCL. She had asked Pus Bucket to bring her jacket to the drink stop, but it was instead delivered by NBCL. He didn’t hand it to her, just threw it on the ground nearby. Mountie then just happened to find her jacket on the ground near the drink stop. Faucet and No Name scored the final charge, since they were all about the chips at the drink stop.
We finished with the announcement of Next Weeks Run. The run will be set by Teflon and will commence from his home at 10 Taylor Court, Invermay.
On On

RUN 2269 – Cat Flaps – Titanic Bandstand and on after at Eureka Bistro – Monday 18th August 2025

RUN 2269 – Cat Flaps – Titanic Bandstand and on after at Eureka Bistro – Monday 18th August 2025

Well, it was a freezing night, but we gathered in the Titanic bandstand and welcomed back Cinderella, Mastabait, Cris Cross and Donuts. Donuts also had the only sniffy run this week with 888 runs.
Mountie announced in her screw of Cat Flaps that she was the one who got screwed in the divorce, she may have been left with some wine, but she was short on flour and chalk. Mountie also noted that the trail went through the “rape tunnel”, she hung around there for a while, but did not get any action. Mountie could not find any references to cats in the bible but found plenty of references to disasters, and she claimed this run was a disaster.
NBCL then told us a joke about Half-a-bar, Cris Cross and Mastabait. They had all been on holidays. When trying to locate their accommodations, they were told that it was a stone’s throw away from the beach. Then they were told that they could recognise the house as it was the one with broken windows. Half-a-Bar scored another down down as he had been to Canada, but didn’t find a Mountie as good as our Mountie. Lois and Pauline were then charged for selling their home leaving them homeless. Normal was then charged for losing his glasses. Disco scored the next charge for something about the cold preventing an erection. The next charge went to NBCL, who was adjusting on the run and said it was so cold that he now had an inny! The final charge went to Cris Cross, as this freezing temperature was not indicative of climate warming.
We then quickly announced that next weeks run would be set by Jus Cum at a venue TBA.
After moving on to a warmer location at Eureka Pizza Bistro, we managed to drink about 10 bottles of Unwin wines, that were enjoyed by all those that partook. Thanks go to Cat Flaps for donating them to the Sovereign HHH, it was greatly appreciated.

RUN 2268 – Bent Nose – 110 Pleasant St Sth and on after at Eureka Bistro – Monday 11th August 2025

RUN 2268 – Bent Nose – 110 Pleasant St Sth and on after at Eureka Bistro – Monday 11th August 2025

Our GM was very happy to announce the return of Lois Lane this week. We were then welcomed to home of Isaac, however we were told that we were not allowed inside, this was a shed only welcome. It was then postulated that their hose may be broken, as bird shit was visible on the normally pristine car.
Welcomes Backs went to Lois Lane, Pauline &BP. However, Lois Lane was out of practice as her list was missing two. Lois Lane was charged for her mistake, along with Fawcet & Noname.
Sniffy runs this week went to Campaspe on 262. Spencer then told us that this was the digit sum of 10, which is the digit sum of 1, so Spencer scored a charge too. The other sniffy run went to D&C on 396, which is a 3 and then almost a 69, just flipped around.
The St Kilda supporters scored the next charge, Mountie, Bent Nose & Disco, getting a drink. Bent Nose was then charged for resembling some of the dolls in his garage.
Mountie then screwed Bent Nose. She listed a few appropriate bible quotes and mentioned that we were sniffing around for trail all over the place, with some longer than is typical on backs and large gaps between trail marking.
The glass penis that had been missing the last few weeks made a triumphant return and was delivered by Uber meats. This allowed someone to be charged for making a dick of themselves before the run. Someone found a necklace on the floor with a name on it, only to ask “Who does it belong to?”. Dumb n dumber then had to drink from the beer filled penis. He even spilled some, so bp was charged as she now must clean up the mess.
NBCL then welcomed us back to the Pleasure Dome. He led with a visual gag, opening the roller door to show off Bent’s car. The door then closed, but NBCL returned through the side door. NBCL then talked to us about a seminal book, thinking fast, thinking slow. Normal was then called out the front, but he wasn’t listening, so NBCL added a pretty please. He saw an advertisement in the newspaper for an assistant to a gynaecologist for $200k per year. It required the applicant to shave, prepare and widen the vagina for the gynaecologist. Normal called to get more information about the job and was told to apply in Darwin, as that’s where queue ends.
Lois Lane and Head Hunter scored the next charge, for their admiration of BP’s manicured bush. People Pleaser was then charged, as he and Riley had taken the glass penis home, where it was waiting for a box to be built for it. We are still waiting for the box, but Pink Bits was charged as it was also seen on her car seat. Lois Lane then charged Bent Nose. You can’t pick your in-laws. It was noted that what was once the family tablecloth, was now covering a bike in the shed, disrespecting Lois Lanes childhood. Jus Cum was then charged for driving slow and being easily identifiable, as their van has the company name on it. Head Hunter was then charged for having bush on her mind, admiring many a bush in Newington, so then Quick Dick was charged too. People Pleaser was charged for his late start on the run, where he was seen sprinting up Pleasant St to catch up. Meanwhile Precious was charged for leaving the rest of the runners for dead. NBCL was charged for looking for a man with a horn. Snag also charged for something about the toilet block in Vic Park. Disco was then charged for hiding the cash tin in the sleeve of Precious’s sleeve, this was then a visual gag, where the can finally came out. Bent Nose was then charged for failing to share any of his hand warmers, he has boxes of them in his shed. Rowdy was then the final charge since the Dr fu#@ed him.
We finished with the announcement of Next Weeks Run. The run will be set by Cat Flaps and will commence from the Titanic Bandstand on Sturt St. The on after will then again be at the Eureka Bistro, with the promise of some Unwin wine to be distributed and consumed.
On On

RUN 2267 – D&C – Grapes on Grant – Monday 4th August 2025

RUN 2267 – D&C – Grapes on Grant – Monday 4th August 2025

Welcome to the weekly blog of the Sovereign Hash House Harriers, where this week we marked the anniversary of SS’s birthday, with a specially marked SS trail. A letter of thanks from June was read to the circle (see separate post). Bookmarks from SS’s funeral and a bag of SS’s hash tops were then made available to all our hashers.
Without Lois Lane we skipped welcomes backs. Sniffy runs were awarded to Jus Cum on 272 and Boner on 77. Apologies were made to Quick Dick for missing his significant run last week and he scored a drink for reaching 301 runs. Then there was a call for if one retired Dr drinks, all retired Dr drink, I missed the retired bit and stepped forward as I thought it was all Dr’s. Then it got messy, and I got a drink anyway. D&C was then charged 3 drinks for running 3 of her on backs, claiming she forgot they were there.
Mountie then stepped up to screw D&C. Mountie had been told of various significant locations all along the trail that included, the corner of Main Rd and Eureka St, with something about the hydroponic store and the missionary position. We then recognised the yum cha, the timeline in the park, the playground and Short St, as SS was vertically challenged. It was also mentioned that People Pleaser may have had an anal exam from Rowdy on trail. Mountie finished her screw with a couple of relevant biblical quotes.
NBCL then stepped up and began by mentioning that he was disappointed that the Nutbush didn’t make hottest 100 list, but we did have a star in our midst, Jus Cum won the gold Logie. Rowdy was then charged for 6 cases of VD and if one retired Dr drinks, all retired Dr’s drink, so Quick Dick had a drink too. There was then a joke about Normal, who had had a procedure and was told he could not feel anything from the waist down. His response was “just tits then”. Bent Nose was then charged for taking time to decorate his entry in the book, so he could make it easier to find his name. Precious was charged for making Cinderella too tired to come to hash, after blowing a horn all weekend. Disco was charged for being a child prodigy, with something about being a banger, then Spencer was charged for being a child banger too. People pleaser was charged for bringing coffee to Hash, but it wasn’t coffee, it was a hot chocolate. Carpet Burns and Cat Flaps were then charged for sipping red pre run. IC then said better the blood of Christ than the blood of Mary. IC was then charged for inappropriate behaviour at a recent event with children present when INXS was mentioned. All Carlton supporters got the next charge and this included Num Num, Jus Cum and D&C. Bent Nose was charged for trying to be cool wearing his cap backwards, he claimed it was because it was too windy and Mountie was charged too, but I’m not sure why. Normal was then charged for complaining that there was only mid strength beer at the drink stop. IC was charged for conducting out of time, I guess his music teacher was busy with other things. It then scored a drink for living next door to the music teacher. Dumb & Dumber and Teflon were then charged as Cat Flaps had questioned if they were twins. Num Num and Pebbles were then charged for being the worst retirees. Pebbles is now back at work, tutoring and Nummy has retired several times. Bent Nose was then charged for being so lost last week, that he posted photos from Portugal. Final charge went to People Pleaser for channelling Lois Lane, his bum bag resembling Lois’s merkin. We were then reminded that committee shirts were available for those on the committee who haven’t collected one yet.
Next Weeks Run was then announced. Bent Nose will be setting the run. Location TBA
On On

RUN 2266 – Spartacus – Millers Arms Hotel, Howard St Soldiers Hill – Monday 28th July 2025

RUN 2266 – Spartacus – Millers Arms Hotel, Howard St Soldiers Hill – Monday 28th July 2025

This week we began with a charge for Spartacus, for not setting trail up and down the street. Our esteemed GM then continued his struggle without Lois Lane. Welcomes back for awarded to Shafted, Nair, Fawcet & Noname. Sniffy runs then went to Dumb & Dumber on 1441 and D&C on 343.
Mountie then began her screw of the run. She was unhappy as SS, Half a Bar, and Dr Death were not here to hang shit on them. She then read from her COOCH bible with some notable quotes, “All runners run, but only one gets the prize” and “Walk by faith and overcome the demons”. She then mentioned that she followed the trail up and down and bragged that she found both the drink stops. Not everyone was so lucky to be able to find and follow the trail, six hashers were lost at various locations on the trail, but we were all found in the end.
Our sergeant NBCL then began with a few jokes. He told us about his pet chameleon that wouldn’t change colour, he took it to the vet where it was diagnosed with reptile dysfunction. There was then a follow-on joke about his flexibility from last week that mentioned something about a voodoo doll, but I couldn’t hear this one over the crowd. He then mentioned that he met an old girlfriend on trail who was ugly … how ugly was she… well, her star sign is faeces. Bent then tried a Dim Wit joke. What is the cause of dry skin?...Towels.
Dumb & Dumber was then charged for the recent death threat to a Melbourne Footy coach. Then if one Demons supporter is charged, all Demons supporters are charged. However, he was the only one here. Bent nose was then charged for too much talking. Mountie scored a charge for not being able to find her torch at the start of the run, while it was on her head and Nair was charged for selling a gym set, but still having two bits in his pocket. Immaculate Conception was then charged for being spewed on by his pup Friday night. This led to a dog themed charge for Big Dog and Hush Puppy. We then had a birthday charge to Big Dog, Carpet Burns and NBCL. Spartacus was charged for serving Melbourne Bitter at the Drink Stop and Doodle Nuts was charged for shitting herself on the run. NBCL was also charged for his fall on the run. Since we have the COOCH cross, which is a Roman Symbol, Spartacus was charged for his Roman name. A lack of Hash Gear charge went to Mrs D, Fawcet, Road Runner and Noname. Doodle nuts was then charged for losing her beanie, twice, but it was found in her pocket each time. Road Runner was then charged for his speedy travel in Vietnam, he seemed to get to the next location quicker that the others without visiting brothels. Then D&C was charged for organised one the Vietnamese accommodation sites above a brothel. People Pleaser was then charged for voluntarily having a beer at the first drink stop, after saying he doesn’t like beer. Perhaps Hash is influencing him? Then Pink Bits was charged for turning that easy. There was then a call that this was perhaps the shit hot run of the year, as there were 2 drink stops, but Bent Nose only made it to one of them. Immaculate Conception then scored the Oscar Piastri charge, for his recent wins, and Pus Bucket was charged for smashing a glass at the bar. Nair was then charged for still needing a lyric book. Big Dog was then charged for bringing Hush Puppy, but not teaching her to sign the book. Shafted then charged Big Dog for not being allowed to trim Hush Puppy hedges, only Nutcracker is allowed to trim. Normal was then charged for talking in the circle and Bent Nose scored the last charge for worrying the young people when he was lost.
Next Weeks Run was then announced. D&C will be setting a run from the Grapes on Grant Street.
On On

RUN 2265 – Committee Run – Irish Murphy’s – Red Dress Run raising funds for FECRI – Monday 21st July 2025

RUN 2265 – Committee Run – Irish Murphy’s – Red Dress Run raising funds for FECRI – Monday 21st July 2025

This week our poor GM was left bereft of Lois Lane’s little slip of paper, without knowledge of the run number, welcomes backs or sniffy runs. I could only help with the run number. So, we began with talk of horoscopes, particularly cancer and moved straight on to the screw. Mountie screwed the GM for the trail, which included a tour of the labs at the Fiona Elsey Cancer Research Institute (FECRI), and tin rattling around central Ballarat. She then quoted from the bible of COOCH with a selection of readings and proverbs.
Mountie then scored the first charge, as we were told that after the weekend cross country, they had to remove all the trail arrows in Vic Park. Mountie should have told us during her screw, that the hare needs to brush off trail after the run, as council apparently now considers trail marks as graffiti. At this point the circle moved from the bar area to the nearby stage with a pulpit (how appropriate). NBCL, our sergeant, stepped up. NBCL was on a roll tonight and began with talk of how tough it is in Melbourne, such that when he was asked to put his hand in fresh concrete located at some civil construction works, he felt a hand on the other side. He then told us about the flotsam and jetsam he saw on the trams, there was a guy with a beard wearing a dress, actually looking around, it was just like us. We were then informed that life is like a fart… if you force it, it’s probable shit. NBCL then mentioned that he’d been to the gym to get help with bending, he was asked how flexible he was, to which he responded, “well, I can’t do Tuesday”. We then moved on to charges. Nummy scored the next charge, for her behavior on our last mystery bus tour, meaning that a Coldplay concert was probably not a good spot for future trips. We then charged Wee Problem and Jus Cum for no hash gear and no red dress. Then, if one Hassle drinks, all Hassles drink, so Spartacus got a drink too. Nummy was then charged again, for her assistance with the ordering tonight. Fop was charged for coming to Hash, which may have resulted in the absence of Mrs D, who was suddenly not feeling well. There was then a charge for the red heads in the room, Disco, Rowdy, Nutcracker, Spencer Hocking and Bad Hair Day, some with wigs and some without. This was because the bar staff asked who was paying for the jugs, the answer was “the guy with the red hair”, to which they responded, “the red wig?”, and our GM responded with “Oh no, that’s his real hair. Cat Flaps was then charged for her assistance in organising the chaos of ordering upstairs and Disco was then charged for something about express lanes at the footy on the weekend. Mountie was then charged for her dismay at the choice of red wines at the Buninyong Winery where they only had a Pinot Noir. We then charged a few belated welcomes backs to FOP, Wee Problem, Fascinator and Her Vaj. Fop and Campaspe were then charged for being excellent tour guides although, we did loose one Dr, poor Rowdy got lost and missed the tours, so if one Dr drinks, all Drs drink. Quick Dick scored a drink here too. There were then comments about the tours, where someone asked where’s the beer fridge? Is it only cancer or is there normal in the tissue bank? What, Normal is in there! While no lab animals were found, there was a trail of red feathers (Mountie) and Jus Cum was charged for asking what do you research here? We finished up with charges to Fop and Campaspe for their important work in cancer research and Cat Flaps was charged for donating wine and sleeping with an Unwin.

Next Weeks Run was then announced to be set by Spartacus from the Millers Arms Hotel, Howard St Soldiers Hill.
On On

After dinner, Fascinator officiated our charity wine auction. Immaculate Conception bought the Umbrella Man Chardonnay $50, a 2002 Tattooed Lady Shiraz $120, a cleanskin vintage handmade champagne estimated at 30-40 years old $90 and a 2001 Tattooed Lady Shiraz $110. Boner bought a 2005 dessert wine $50. Spencer Hocking bought a 2004 Acrobat Riesling $50 and a 2015 Winemakers Selection Shiraz $50. Rowdy bought the last bottle of the 2004 Acrobat Durif $150 and Num Num bought the 2011 Chardonnay $50. Thanks to Fascinator for being our auctioneer and to Cat Flaps for donating the wine and providing some extra background information about some of the special bottles. We also had Ballarat Cycle Classic socks for sale at $20 a pair, that were bought by NBCL, Nummy and Cinderella. I’d like to thank all the Hashers who made purchases. Donations were also collected on the night, on top of the $10 collected from each person in attendance.

The fantastic final tally raised on the night for FECRI was $1461.30, which was made up of $720 from wine sales, $290 from entries, $240 from sock sales, $10 from a QR code donation and $201.30 from cash donations. On behalf of FECRI, I would like to thank everyone for contributing to this successful fundraising event.

RUN 2264 – Mountie – Mount Xavier Golf Course, Ballarat East – Monday 14th July 2025

RUN 2264 – Mountie – Mount Xavier Golf Course, Ballarat East – Monday 14th July 2025

The GM began with a question to the group, “What to do with the glass penis?” While no particular answer was provided, it was purported that it was good to have at your disposal. Our GM then asked Pauline and Lois to move around the circle giving high fives. This was because our GM wanted a military parade for his birthday. We then moved on to Welcomes Backs, which went to Rear Entry, Zig, Bad Hair Day, Abbey, and D&C. However, D&C was there last week, so Lois was charged for f#@king up.

Zig was called to the front with People Pleaser and Riley. There was something about Zig having a Zag and they all had a drink. We then moved on to our Sniffy runs that went to Pink Bits on 161, Rear Entry 696 and Jus Cum on 269.

Mountie wasn’t allowed to screw herself, so IC was called up with no preparation, to screw the run/walk. He said that we stayed off the greens and stayed on trail, there was even trail on the walk and a good Drink Stop. Altogether, well set.

NBCL began with a funny story about coming from Sunshine, where there was a petting zoo, because it was school holidays, but 4 kids escaped. We were then welcomed to Mt Xavier, the place carpet forgot. Rear Entry scored a charge relating to the sign on the bar, “prefer lies through the green”. Lois was then charged as the carpet design was said to resemble her merkin. Boner then told a poo joke. NBCL and Nutcracker were then charged for a joke about the use of the ball cleaner at the first hole which moved onto the cleaning of the glass penis. Our GM was charged after responding to complaints that the balls were hard to clean, where he said, “That’s what makes the smell”. Head Hunter and Donuts were then charged for comments relating to staying high on the green. Zig was charged for his phone call during the starting circle. There was then a charge for long hair going to Precious and Disco, with some comparison to Bob Marley, this progressed to talk of the Wailers, but we don’t need the Wailers because we have Mountie. Snag, Snag, Snag. Mountie was also charged for not knowing many of the songs when we were out last Saturday night. Carpet Burns was then charged for losing her coat Sat night, but since she wasn’t there, Jus Cum scored the drink. There was then a birthday charge for Pink Bits, Pauline and Precious. Nummy then scored a retirement charge, even though she has 2 more shifts. Nummy was then awarded a drink from the glass penis. We then had a no hash gear charge that was given to Abbey, Riley and Pink Bits, even though she had Hash tights under her trackies. People Pleaser was charged with a question “does he have a gun in his pocket or was he pleased to see us”. His grey trackies were a little revealing. Lois was then charged for accumulating Hash gear from the recently deceased and not passing it on, however, she did give a shirt to People Pleaser. We then gave our barman Wayne a charge which progressed to charging those wearing hats, Normal, Hush Puppy & Rowdy. Wayne was then charged for not enforcing “no hats” Rule. Wankers were then changed, this included Donuts, IC and Bad Hair Day. Rear Entry was then charged for not knowing the Tigers song, and Big Dog was charged as he was also a Tigers supporter. Snag was given a late charge for no hash gear and Spencer Hocking was charged for being a cousin. Boner then got the last charge, just because.

Next Weeks Run was then announced to be a Red Dress Run with the venue, TBA. There will be a red wine auction (thanks Cat Flaps) and raffles, so we were reminded to bring some extra cash. We will also be doing a guided tour of the lab on trail, while we raise money for the Fiona Elsey Cancer Research Institute.

On On