Run 1944, Hare Criss Cross from the Grant St Grapes Hotel
Two weeks running we have celebrated a milestone 100 runs. Last week, of course, Katrina Nutcracker hit the jackpot, this week Head Hunter, all the way from a Fiji holiday, racked up the coveted three figures.
But first, the GM held the assembled crowd enthralled before the run with a number of announcements. Palindromic runs (Nutcracker 101, Shafted 636, "Give us an AAAA"), Welcomes Back to Bitch Face, Nummy Nummy Num Num (who enjoyed the hospitality of Darwin first hand), Dumb & Dumber, and Mountie. Fang got a double gong, his 69th birthday, and his 800th run (Hashy birthday, fuck you), Head Hunter was honoured for her 100th run, also Shafted and Big Fucker Pauline (Build a bonfire..)
What a run. This was a lesson from Criss Cross as to how a Ballarat HHH run should be set. Good distance, good pace, well marked, interesting terrain, hills and rivers, bitumen and shiggy. Near simultaneous drink stop arrival, and a respite from the antarctic chill of the preceding few days. Throw in a guest appearance from former GM Hopoate (who gave the scribe a cuddle and a peck on the cheek) and my cup runneth over.
After the leisured drink stop, all adjourned back to the bar the order a Furphy and get a complimentary Beanie. We were then kicked out onto the cold back porch for Down downs; Fascinator called attention and said "I have been castrated, I feel like an arsehole." Non sequitur.
"Welcome back Pebbles" - (He's all right.. a little flat chested but..)
Screw Shafted was in a good mood. "What a great run" (apparently talking about his horse, who didn't actually win, but like a true gentleman, came second). "An excellent run" (talking about Criss Cross). True to form he used 3 x as much chalk as necessary, observed the pack dispersing in all directions on proximity to the primary school, and presented a horticultural precis of the terrain which summed it all up perfectly. An interesting carrot which was shaped just like a thinggy, no matter which way you looked at it, was a suitable punchline.
Same song as last week, different words.
S H I T T Y T R A I L
Sergeant Mountie was less dressed up than usual, but castrated the GM again. Spencer Hocking was delegated the task of presenting appropriate chalices, engraved goblets, and words to appropriate people, and managed to fuck it up completely and actually break the stems off the chalices, get the engraving wrong on all vessels, and end up with a dogs breakfast. It was funny, unintentionally.
Head Hunter, 100 runs (get a life, 20 toes)
Fang 800 runs (Mrs Murphy)
Shafted deflowered everything he saw on the run
Fang 69th birthday, 800 runs
Nummy enjoyed the inside of the Darwin Hospital while others were at the expensively ticketed ball, Dumber with a new (O'Halloran) partner. (ya stupid)
In 1944
D DAY - D&D, Mrs D, D&C, Davey Foster, Fang
Sweden decriminalised homosexuality, and Britain allowed married women to be teachers (Mrs D, Her Vagesty)
Oh, by the way, Fang 800 runs
Paul Keating was born - all of the true believers out the front (And I saw her face....)
Bob Brown was born (Bitch Face)
Before the run
Half a bar and Fascinator both came remarkably early.
Criss Cross charged and castrated (castigated?) Fascinator for missing his eminently palindromic run, 969.
Mountie for the bombing of Darwin, Fang for 800 runs
Pebbles, in a fit of hubris, charged Essendon supporters (Normal, Spence, Fang), and FOP, with similar tempting of fate, charged Big Fucker Pauline for being a Kiwi Rugby supporter.
Dumb and Dumber insulted Criss Cross by suggesting he would be "too stupid" to remember the keys to his car, and the drink stop.
and so it went on...
until Rowdy charged D&C for misplacing her phone in the back of the Clitty Licker's car after last week's run. She forgot the maxim "If its rocking, don't bother knocking"; drove across town, knocked on every door and window she could see in Nutcracker's house, and eventually raised NBCL from the back seat of the same car (parked stylishly on the other side of the road). He looked sheepish with a phone in his hand and Nuttsy pretending she wasn't there. Happy 100th run Nutcracker!!
NBCL added to the tale by coming in to the circle right at the end of the charge, looking sheepish and with a phone in his hand. He drank his down down drink.
Next week Spencer Hocking from the Freight Bar.
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