Same, Same, but Different
Run 1941, Hare Road Runner from the North Britain Hotel.
A traditional pub with traditional food, traditional menu unchanged in 15 + years, traditional Hare with his traditional Run, and his traditional drink stop. What could possibly go wrong?
Answer: Nothing
A good crowd of runners, walkers, barflies and babies gathered to hear Road Runner state that he'd set 2 courses, one for Rowdy that was 13 km long, and one for all others. He needn't have bothered as the pack stayed together, counter clockwise this year, to arrive nearly simultaneously at the drink stop that served traditional cold beer in volumes to please all bar those who had a hankering for girly drinks. "Not traditional" was the rebuff to that enquiry.
Shafted arrived traditionally late, but caught the pack running into the howling gale, then served as a windbreak for the rest of the loop.
Back at the pub, the traditional blazing redgum logs in the rear beer garden threatened to send embers courtesy of the strong Northerly into multiple new puffer jackets, until most worked out that upwind was safe.
Fascinator set off proceedings with a welcome backs to Spencer Hocking (He's the meanest, he sucks the horse's penis...), then another welcome backs to Spencer Hocking.(put in in your hand, Mrs Murphy..) Other welcome backs to Spencer Hocking, GILF, Candida, Road Runner, Boot Rooter, Sillic, and of course, Spencer Hocking (they're stupid..)
Welcome backs also to perennial visitors, Scrubber, and Goanna (U G L Y, you ain't got no alibi...)
Shafted the Screw began with the mantra "Blame Rowdy", as the arrows were twice as long as tradition dictates, and the beer twice as cold. He then entranced all present with a near pornographic demonstration of the "Snatch warming butt plug" he found on the run (up near Rear Entry's house, as it happens). He then channelled his late brother , using a version of "Three Past Wives" to the tune of the nursery rhyme, with a lurid verse for each of the three. What Road Runner's current partner thought of the rendition was anybodies' guess, as Candida was distracted by the arrival of YOUNG HUGO, aka SOSOS, who managed to be (s)mothered by most of the tarts in the building for the next 2 hours.
Father SOS looked proud as punch and was not heard swearing for his entire stay.
Sergeant MOUNTIE had a bright 'as new' St Kilda scarf to finish off her ensemble. She then regaled the assembled with a series of one liners to commemorate the D anniversary of the moon landing;
What's the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson? Why have no women gone to the moon? What's further away, Melbourne or the moon? Look at the moon, no it's the sun....
D&D tried to emulate her with the traditional "Mrs Kowalski" (Ya stupid...so fucking Dumb)
1941: V for victory (D&D), SS born (and circumcised)...Give us an AAA
Goanna got one for her half a Brazilian (twenty toes)
From the run:
Her Vagesty, FLOP, and Road Runner were charged for overlapping trails (SHITTY TRAIL). D&C found an on back on the walk, Normal was jealous. Fang was put in his place when he said "We can catch the walkers". Fascinator was given the :"Rate my Agent " charge for expanding the boundaries of Soldiers Hill to include all of Ballarat. Scrubber and Goanna for boasting about their accommodation (If its rocking, don't bother knocking)
Nelson brand mixer was served at the drink stop, only to return to the pub to find one arm, one eye and one ambition.
Scrubber got called out for being a fucking footy umpire (See the Bombers fly up, up....), while Lois and Pauline took one for the world cup winning Kiwi netballers.
All enjoyed the traditional meal with beer, red wine and slurred conversation, interrupted with "Happy Birthday" to NBCL, who came late and left early, smiling the whole time.
Next week's run, SS from the Bunch of Grapes.
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