14 - 5 - '18    Run 1879   Bunch of Grapes

"Hash 38 for NORMAL & BAIT at the Grapes" (well, it nearly
works !!). ROWDY became stand-in Choirmaster for a bit, to 
intro GM PEBBLES for the welcome. 
NORMAL said the run was about 5K, a bit uphill & down, & 
would be running thru' someone's house, "so keep your feet
clean". As we headed off, Trailmaster DUMB was at pains to 
slow the speeding athletes, so as to wait for the late cumming
few to order eats. Trail took us South to Leith St. along to 
the track by the creek, then uphill & thru' the half 'finished'
shed, along the track by Skipton St, & back toward the 
Drink-stop by the Pub. It was good to hear Hash Horn
TEFLON's 1st ever solo recital in South Street. NORMAL &
MASTABAIT had stocked up on the Crownies for the Stop -
maybe thinking everyone would 'do a NORMAL' & collar a 
couple of travellers, & of course, it was MASTABAIT's 
vehicle to stow away all the emptys - well who else's?
Back at the noisy circle, all were silenced to hear BP say her
"shut the fuck up !!" HER VAG was called out to receive her
100 Run Cup, only to find the cheap-arses had given her an
"un-inscribed left-over Nash Hash job" - ohh, that AMP.
PEBBLES had welcomes back for BEER FUCK, BAR LICKER,
CANDIDA, ROAD RUNNER, BOOTROOTER & GLIDER, & then
they ushered in the so called "Best Screw in Hash" MOUNTIE,
who straight away reduced last week's co-hares, D&C &
NUTCRACKER to Old Bangers, for hijacking the board.
To screw NORMAL & BAIT, she talked about the 'old croc' in
the back of NORMAL's shed, the HH mark that could be 
'seen from space', & the I I C in the circle, that fell just short
of H C. Then she presented the Drive car mag along with the 
limerick, to make the pair Club House Leaders, with the
Red Charger Award.
                                   (Shitty Trail .... ).
Sergeant SHAFFY gave the co-hares the Green Falcon's 
Award, then had all the Mothers out together for their
Mother's Day drink. 
                               (They're alright ..... ).
GEORGE PELL-ICAN was standing tall on the bar, after 
DR DEATH left him at the Western last week. 
Fog horn NORMAL didn't need the loud hailer to call out
CRIS CROS for talking at the circle. LOIS LANE danced along
with her sight gag about BENTNOSE turning gay, but said he
was really only "bum eating a Mintie". 
                        (He's a mean Mother Fucker ...... ).
MOUNTIE had a charge for 'Football Coach' DR DEATH, & his
chain smoking on the boundary line while watching the 
girls training, then DR DEATH charged PEBBLES for being 
seen driving round town with a Car Dealer.
NUMMY gave MOUNTIE a drink for being the 'drunkest ever'
on the Melbourne Trip, & then DR DEATH called out PIMP
for giving a free kick to the opposition, while umpiring the
son's football match. PIMP stayed out for SILIC's charge 
for him changing his run from Queen's Birthday - the 
cheapest run night when hardly anyone shows up - but,
of course, a rebound for SILIC, the Tight-Arsed Prick.
                         (Bull shit, it all sounds like B.S ..... ).
ROWDY had a charge for BAR LICKER - making it public
that she'd played with HALF A BAR till he ejaculated ..... !
      Out came QD & HH's new song to the tune of YMCA
          (Young girl, I want to spray you with my DNA).
D&C charged PEBBLES for 'vandalising' the lid of a 
letterbox on the run, FOP to FANG for having to handle 4
women at the Grape Escape, then SILIC "why didn't FANG 
phone a friend?"
FOP was pissed off that 2 of the Committee (NUTCRACKER
& D&C) could be cooking the books by going off to Bali, when
they couldn't afford to inscribe HER VAG's cup.
NUMMY charged all the Seniors, seeing as they'll come out
on top in the Budget - GLIDER, SS, THE BILL, MASTABAIT
& CRIS CROS, MRS D had a charge for MOUNTIE coming
3rd in the race for 60 - 90 yr olds, then ROWDY told his 
egg gag. 
           Another new song ( get back in the kitchen .... ).
NORMAL charged QUICK DICK for having to ask 
HEAD HUNTER for the new songs, then DR DEATH to 
NUTCRACKER's being surprised that we have to pay for
down downs - she never has to pay for drinks when she 
goes out !!
SHAFTED didn't get charged for his new shoes last week, so
this week put on new socks, only to get shoes & socks wet -
even licked out the last drops.
MOUNTIE said about BEERFUCK learning the Ukelele, & he 
assured us that it wasn't too late to go & get it, but then
PEBBLES had the gag about "5 more ukes found in the car
'after' it was unlocked". BEERFUCK then drank to celebrate 
the life of recently passed Mother in Law.
                             (Mrs Murphy .... ).
ROWDY had all the husbands out who were still with the 
original wife - QUICK DICK, PIMP, THE BILL, MASTABAIT,
NORMAL & SPARTACUS.
                          (Get a life, get a life ........ ).
DR DEATH passed on DIMWIT's weekly/weakly zinger - 
what food on bonfire night? - Bangers!!
A shout out to The Bunch for holding meals - originally 
weren't having a bar of 9pm until NORMAL thumped the
Bar with the Boss.

Next week's run - 1880 - Hare SPARTACUS from Lion's Den 
Rooms at the City Oval - not the Pub.