Monday, April 3, 2017

3 - 4 -'17             Run 1816            Awards Night

GM NUM NUM took the floor for the pen-ultimate, to welcome the 30 attendees, 
& happy that there's only 1 week to go. Welcome also to new runner Paul, 
& welcomes back from NZ to Shielagh, & to SPENCER HOCKING.
Happy Birthday to DAZED & CONFUSED on reaching '6' figures !!
On the short run, it was obvious that PLUCKA, with the short tu tu on, 
should've left the tights off !! MOUNTIE thought her outfit left the breasts a bit
flat, but I assured her that they looked good to me, & I think it was only the
Hash Horn that was a bit flat. We all reached the drink-stop at DUMBER's
beneath the Sheltered Workshop, where the Friday Gossip Club meet.
SHAFTED reckoned that "Debbie" was aptly named - made a lot of noise
coming, took the houses with her & left NSW very wet !!" A couple of 
refreshments at the well stocked drink-stop, then a short walk back 
to the one-time Gentleman's Club.
At the On-After, there were Welcome Drinks for Paul, Shielagh, SPENCER 
SS screwed NUM & DUMB for the well marked short walk/run, the venue, 
the dress-ups & photos, but they missed SOS - did anyone ?? 
SPENCE charged SILIC for having no Hash Gear "but don't change, 
we don't want to see you out of it". 
Sergeant ROWDY's 1st charge for (the lay down misere) "who looks best
in tight shiny pants?", FOP or DAZED & CONFUSED.    NORMAL took the
drink for D & C.   Sniffyc*nts of 1816 ? - of course Doctor, the Leannec 
stethoscope invented, but also, don't forget the Maelzel Metronome.
DR DEATH made JITTERBUG wet & he dribbled - please explain.
CRUTCHLESS took 2 for being the "golden shower girl", & then writing 
her car (& everything else) off. NORMAL had a charge for "what's your
name?", QUICKDICK for having Shielagh back, after wanting a photo
of her going back to Dublin.
DUMBER was charged for returning to a venue where last time we 
lost someone, HEAVY. RIP. Then, all the dicks drank up, 'cos all dicks
drink together - QUICK DICK, MRS DICKHEAD & HALF A BAR, joined by
Paul, PLUCKA, THE BILL & SHAFTED. PLUCKA had 2 more - 1 for phoning
SPENCE (who was in NZ), "Where's the carpark?" & another for calling out
to HEAD HUNTER on the bush walk, "how do you get to the other side of
the river?" - "You're already there you idiot !!"
SPENCE charged HALF A BAR for f**king the BBQ Spit (the same as he
does the sheep), since it has worked perfectly for 36 years, & Tommy's 
borrowed it only once. 
NUMMY came back to relive some of the years' highlights - ROWDY's 
sniffyc*nts of the 1800's, SPENCER HOCKING's 'raising the bar' of 
Ballarat Hash towards Nash Hash, the significant runs of ROWDY &
MOUNTIE 1000, LOIS LANE's 800, MRS D & SHAFTED's 500, SOS 300
& PLUCKA 100, the sad passing of CRUNT & BIG BALLS, joining new
& the Ballarat 1800 run at Trentham.


"Pot Calling The Kettle Black". Runners Up were HALF A BAR & SILIC,
but BENT NOSE took it out by a large bent nose, & DONUTS stepped 
up to have the drink.

"Tight Arsed Prick". Won uncontested by REAR ENTRY for running
out of grog at the drink-stop.

"Spectacle Award". Runner up HALF A BAR for his sprained ankle at
the cricket, but won by CHRIS CROS for being half naked in the women's
loo at Top Eureka, & FOP stepped up for the drink.

"Pisspot Award". Another 'lay down misere' - Winner PUSBUCKET.
Snag's idea of a balanced diet is "a stubby in each hand". In his 4th
acceptance speech in succession, he said, "he should just keep the 
trophy permanently", but then digressed, (do you believe that?), saying
he asked MOUNTIE what she wanted for her Birthday. The reply was
"a divorce" - "good, I wasn't going to spend too much".

"Shit-house Run". Runners Up were PEBBLES & SHAFTED, but taken
out by back to back winner FASCINATOR, who was actually there to take
the drink himself, & looking forward to the Hat-trick next year.

"Shit-hot Run". Runners Up were SHAFFY & ROWDY, & the winner is
............ the "Man among men & the fishes as well" SS who they thought,
accepted gracefully.

"ARSO's Club Member Award". SPENCER HOCKING - accepted on 
behalf of HEAVY, who said, "make Ballarat Hash important to
Nash Hash".

Thanks to Peter Carrigg & Helpers at the Old Colonists for great food
with the usual variety of meats, fish, veg & desserts.

Next week - AGM at North Ballarat Bowling Club.

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