Thursday, February 19, 2015

RUN 1705 Venue: Smythesdale Russell Up’s Dam Hare: Heavy 16 February 2015


Got there just in time, fortunately having noticed the turn off near Billy Goat’s bright green new car parked half a mile away on the bitumin.  This was Heavy’s former stomping ground in the former backyard of former Hasher Russell up the Publican(GRHS) (having gone to the Hash Gods).

Chiffik bush run and walk on an ideal night.  Runners and walkers were co-mingling with dam, shiggy, bush, old gold workings including a tunnel tour where the hashers were dragged through like a string of butt beads.

Fittingly cans of Fosters fizzed at the drink stop, some chilled to the brink icing up.  Then a diabetic fannomennum occurred!  OnOn questioning, our in-house thermodynamic consultant engineer, Bent Nose, told us more about adiabatic phenomenon and Glider corroborated. Spoken in a pompous all-knowing parlance;
“When a gas expands under adiabatic conditions, (like on opening a can or releasing an old fart), its pressure and temperature both decrease without the gain or loss of heat.”  Proving Old Farts know a bit about old farts.

Rowdy urged, “Come on it’s getting dark!! We won’t be able to see the song sheet”.

Sorrow indeed set a sombre scene for Pusses loss of his Bro.

Welcomes back to Master Blaster Shafted.  Fluid Movement also returned to her groggy duties.  Nothing too much of direct significance on the run tally but we had a drink for SS approaching 1500 and Normal approaching 1000 as a premature extrapolation. 

Heavy wanted to continue screwing himself Butt Rowdy Butted in cherishing the chance to pen alternate words to The Billy Joel’s Piano Man, becoming Heavy Man. (not to the tune of Happy Birthday!)


It's seven o'clock on a Monday night, the regular crowd shuffles round
There's the G M sitting next to me making love to his captive Hash crowd
He says, "Bro can you play me a memory, I'm not really sure how it‘s done
Well it's sad and it's sweet, and I knew it complete
but you’re the one screwing the run"
Oh, la la la de de da de, la le la da da da

Sing us a song you're the Heavy man, Sing us a song tonight
Well we're all in the mood for a melody
And you've got us feeling alright


Now Tom Half a Bar is a friend of mine, he gets me my sheep for free
And he's quick with a fark or to muck up a joke but there's someplace that he'd rather be
He says, "John, I believe this is killing me", as a smile ran away from his face
"Well, I could be a pygmy in Africa if I had a darker man’s face"
Oh, la la la  de de da de, la le la  da da da

Now Silic’s quite good on the BBQ, his testicles caused him some strife
And he's talking with Reary, who's wife’s a bit teary, And probably will be for life.
And Mountie is practicing politics as the Snag and Hass slowly get tight.
Yes they're sharing a drink they call Carlton Draught
But it's better than drinking a light

Screw us the run you're the Heavy man, Screw us the run tonight
Well we're all in the mood for a melody
And you've got the words working right

Bent was up for seargenting at short notice. He corrected the erroneous supposition of last week’s cricket run as to who partnered Basher Bait in the winning duo. His running mate was none other than Bashful Bent AKA Rectal Ray that shone that day.

Criss Cross removed his bike from the roof-rack so we could put our light on his car’s roof. He promised not to drive off with it.

Short cut to tucker time.

Naturally Heavy’s spread was sumptuous. MKR Texan corn al la Heavy was cooked there and then on the BBQ. It was warming as the night cooled, tasted delicious and was plentiful. Beef rolls followed with gravy and salad.

SS Sirculated a hash joke email showing a paper back bird book and that while Old Farts know a bit about old farts they know little about Old Tarts.

Next Week’s Run: Pebbles

Theme; Picking Up

Venue; Doug Dean Reserve Delacombe

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