RUN 2274 - Fop – Downlow Medal night – 18 Sligo St Alfredton – Monday 22nd September 2025

RUN 2274 - Fop – Downlow Medal night – 18 Sligo St Alfredton – Monday 22nd September 2025

See post from Fop regarding all the results of the Downlow medal vote count. And….the winner of the Downlow medal was….Precious. Along with the medal, Precious scored a drink from the giant penis glass. This week, Welcome Backs went to Pauline, Dim Wit, Quick Dick, Head Hunter, Boner, Deep Heat, Num Num, Jus Cum, Spartacus & Spencer Hocking. Next, Sniffy runs of mention went to Dumb & Dumber on 1448, Num Num on 848, Disco on 88, Teflon on 424 and Fop on 484.
Moving on to the screw, Mountie quoted revelations 218, talking about the cowardly vile layers and Collingwood supporters, so all the Collingwood supporters scored a drink including, Pus Bucket, Cris Cross, Rowdy, Nutcracker and me. Next, there was something about the cat and the mouse to the lion or is the lion the mouse to the cat. This weeks run was noted to have toured 4 local footy grounds and there were several times when the walkers merged with the runners. Another footy reference, at our half time we’ve got Big Dog not Snoop Dog. Of course, Nutcracker piped up to say, “he’s not here”, so as you can expect, Nutcracker scored a down down.
Our Sergeant, NBCL, was about to begin, but was called to stand down, because Dim Wit was here. Dim Wit’s joke went like this, what’s the difference between vitamins and hormones? You don’t hear vitamins. Which was followed by, what’s the difference between a gynaecologist and a genealogist? One looks up family trees, the other looks up the family bush. And another one, how do you make a hormone? Kick her in the crutch.
After all these jokes NMCL began by continuing his Sunshine story. The local church had selected a new minister who was quite strict. Four Nuns came forward for confession. The first Nun confessed that she had stared at the crutch of a man. So, she was told to wipe her eyes with holy water. The second Nun confessed that she had grabbed a man’s genitals, so she was told to wash her hands in holy water. The fourth Nun quickly swapped with the third Nun. When questioned why, we were told that she didn’t want to gargle in the holy water after the third Nun washed her ass in it. This resulted in our Religious Advisor, Num Num, getting a drink too.
Continuing our footy themed evening, all the Hawthorn supporters were dragged into the circle of shame. Spartacus, Head Hunter and Quick Dick getting a drink this time. Bent Nose was the next hasher called to the circle, as he had fallen up the step before the run, was seen to later fall down the step and also had to ask for help with the child safety gate. Fop was charged for his tricky house, and for nearly killing Deep Heat with very cold beer. Campaspe was charged for causing all PMT hashers in Port Fairy to miss the 800m final when she accidently changed the channel when trying to turn the volume up. This was followed by, when one Dr drinks, all Drs drink. Fop, Rowdy and Quick Dick joining Campaspe for this one. Mountie was charged for breaking the “what happens on the weekend away, stays on the weekend away” rule. Head Hunter was charged for saying that she was starving, she was so hungry she was ravishing. Precious was charged for taking on more roles at COOCH, he’s now GM, Hash Horn, Downlow medallist and self-appointed Hash gynaecologist. Fop was charged as it was speculated that he may have asked ChatGPT to award the medal to someone related to him. Mountie was charged for noticing that Cris Cross in his blond wig, was resembling Nutcracker, which was made funnier when NBCL agreed. Fop was charged for the appropriateness of his Geelong jumper. The foot on it resembling our Hash logo. I didn’t catch why Mountie scored a charge here but moving on, Cris Cross was charged for his outfit resembling a cross between Darcy Moore and Gandalf. Half-A-Bar was charged for something about being catholic and D&C was charged for her delayed realisation for why Nutcracker was upset by her resemblance to Cris Cross, when he’s got a beard. Fop and Her Vaj were charged next, with some Dick van Dyke humour and for one of the most memorable movies of all time with flying bicycles. Bent Nose got a reverse charge, as he is usually the one saying that visual gags don’t work. We finished with an announcement telling everyone to take care of the step, better late than never.
We finished with the announcement of Next Weeks Run. Next weeks run was scheduled to be set by SS. However, this will now be a committee run, set in memory of SS. The run will begin from the Trout Hatchery in Gillies St. The run will cost $10, including a $5 donation to the Hatchery. On after will be at Eureka Bistro.
On On

RUN 2273 Cinderella’s 21st Birthday Ball with run set by Precious and Mrs Dickhead – Royal Mail Hotel – Monday 15th September 2025

RUN 2273 Cinderella’s 21st Birthday Ball with run set by Precious and Mrs Dickhead – Royal Mail Hotel – Monday 15th September 2025

This week we began the circle by acknowledging the Royalty of our venue, which initiated a raucous version of God save the King, much to Mountie’s dismay. Welcomes back went to Fop, Her Vajesty and Fascinator. Next, Sniffy runs were awarded to Spencer Hocking - 1413, Mountie - 1513, Pink Bits - 169, Masterbait – 1666, Precious – 350, Mrs Dickhead – 870, Disco – 87 but the most important one was D&C – 400. A commemorative T-shirt (with the correct number of runs) was presented to D&C to mark this occasion.
Mountie began her screw by berating the young people for not supporting the Republic. She talked about Tiaras and shit. Mountie quoted the Queen of Sheba and told us that she now understood what buggery means. We were told that Mrs Dickhead set this run, but it was also co-hared by Precious. A hasher with one ball was the next topic of discussion, to which D&C predictably said “he’s not here”, so she got the “you’ll do” charge.
NBCL stepped up to tell us the ongoing story of happenings in Sunshine. After last weeks dramatics, the diocese advertised for a new minister. Ten people applied, but the congregation wanted to ensure that there wasn’t a repeat of the issues with the last minister. So, they stripped all the applicants and tied bells to their old fellas. One at a time, they showed them a naked lady and waited to hear the bell ring. There was silence until the last applicant. Ding, ding, ding and the bell fell off. He bent over to pick it up, and all the remaining bells rang. Pus Bucket received the next charge, for his Mamma Mia impersonation or was Liberace missing his shirt. The parents of Cinderella, Fop and Mrs D, scored the next charge, along with the birthday boy, Cinderella, who was 21 today. Fop was awarded a second drink, as it was his birthday the next day. Next, Pink Bits charged IC for not making any dinners for her over her very busy weekend. During this time, IC was said to have eaten KFC, but since she’s not here, Pink Bits, you’ll do. Mountie charged Ding Dong for getting lost on the way to Mount Xavier Golf Course, which is hard to do as there is only one road in, so by association, Pink Bits scored that drink too. Rowdy was next, being charged for trying to out Catholic an O’Halloran and the birthday boy was also charged again. Normal and Half-a-bar were charged with an accompanying safari story about a lion with one eye. This was a visual gag that is difficult to scribe but ended with throwing of stones towards the lion and something about running away. Campaspe was charged for resembling Cinderella’s grandmother, I corrected this to be Aunty Paspe, as I am sometimes referred to by Cinderella. Half-a-Bar was charged with another story about a moral dilemma with 2 buttons, one to kill 1000 Kenyan’s and the other to kill Aussie’s. There were lots of F’s and this ended with the punchline that there was no instruction that any button need to be pushed. Mastabait scored the next charge, as the resident bird expert. When asked what bird the feather that Campaspe was wearing had come from, he answered an Ostrich that had a fight with a blue rinse. While we had not quite reached the end, a cake appeared and all the red heads were charged, Rowdy, Disco and Cinderella taking this one. Someone asked if this was the first 21st at Hash, but no, SOS also had his 21st celebrated at Hash, so Precious took this one, since he was wearing the SOS Hash shirt.
We finished with the announcement of Next Weeks Run. It will be a Brownlow themed event and Fop will be our next Hare. The location will either be the Golden Point Cricket Club Rooms (if their renovations are timely), or otherwise it might be at 18 Sligo St. Stay tuned to email/Facebook for updates. Supporting the Brownlow theme, we are asked to wear footy gear or red-carpet attire.
On On

RUN 2272 Faucet – Golf House – Monday 8th September 2025

RUN 2272 Faucet – Golf House – Monday 8th September 2025

Before the run we were informed of the death of Graham Greene. This was then clarified as the actor. We were reassured that our Rear Entry is still very much alive. After the run we began our circle with our welcomes backs that went to Pauline, Pebbles, Bad Hair Day, Big Dog and Bent Nose. Sniffy Runs were then awarded to Faucet on lucky 13, Mrs D on 869 and Billy who dared to return for run number 2.
Mountie began her screw of the run with a homophone, where she explained that she might have go force it. We were then reminded of last night’s blood moon. Our run took us through the cemetery where we saw a magnificent full moon. Cinderella’s fall was mentioned, as were the slightly different trail markings, we saw many tiny round circle’s, just like drips from a faucet. Mountie also complained that the tiny arrows were a bit few and far between.
The next topic that was mentioned was Fascinator’s dentist. At least his teeth are nice and white. NBCL then told us about his dramatic week in Sunshine, where the big bike had been stolen. The local minister preaching to his congregations was talking about the commandments and before he got to, thou shall not steal, he mentioned thou shall not commit adultery. He then remembered where he left the bike. We were then told about Half-a-bar who was having problems with Cecil the ram, not producing. The vet came and gave him a pill, this was successful with rampant producing, but it wore off and the vet was called again. Half-a-bar asked for the same pill, but couldn’t remember the colour or shape, but said that it tasted like aniseed.
Half-a-bar then got the first charge for his earlier conversation with Precious. He’d been saying that our numbers at Hash were pretty good. Precious mentioned that they weren’t so good when everyone was in Vietnam, to which Half-A-Bar said he’s not that old. Mountie was then charged for her impression of the school for the gifted cartoon, she was trying to push the door that said “slide”. Pus bucket was then charged. Mountie explained that she had lost her church hymnal, but Pus Bucket found it at The Millers Arms, when he was there drinking alone. Spartacus was then charged for not joining him. Faucet was charged for questioning early in the run if our hash was ok going through the cemetery, and the run went there anyway. NBCL was then charged for spitting in cemetery. Cinderella was charged for testing a speed bump on trail and Teflon was charged for looking for real estate in the cemetery. Squizzy stepped up to show us that he was now learning another new language, Croatian. Half-a-bar was then asked to swap shirts with Faucet, so he had a local shirt to take back to Broome. Rowdy stepped up and provided a shirt, as he had several with him. Lois and Pauline were then charged, as it was suggested that they might give him something from their garage sale. Jus Cum was then charged for coming back from toilet exhausted and Cris Cross was charged for picking up cans. Bent was charged for something about f#@king the kiwis. The Haberdasher was then charged for Faucet’s chalk H3 on his shirt. Mrs D was then charged for missing the drink stop as she desperately needed a toilet and she went back to the pub, not realising that there was in fact a toilet at the drink stop. Cat Flaps got the last charge, just because, to get rid of the last beer.
We finished with the announcement of Next Weeks Run. Cinderella is having a significant birthday, and we will be having a Ball in her honour at the Royal Mail Hotel. All are requested to wear your best ball gown.
On On

RUN 2271 Teflon – Robin Hood – Monday 1st September 2025

RUN 2271 Teflon – Robin Hood – Monday 1st September 2025

We begin this week with welcomes backs going to Gilf, Squizzy and Wee Problem. Sniffy runs were then awarded to Mrs D on 868, Cat Flaps with sweet 16, Nutcracker for her 400 runs, Quick Dick for his 300 runs and Billy on 1. Commemorative T-shirts were given to Nutcracker and Quick Dick.
In a change to our usual order, we then moved to Next Weeks Run. We were informed that it would not be set by Rear Entry, as per schedule, since he was injured (again). A call was then put out for volunteers to set a run, as we were in urgent need of a fill in hare.
Moving on to our Screw. Mountie asked us to bow our heads as Teflon had provided us with a smorgasbord of young folk and Billy was served his first run. Cat Flaps and Jus Cum were told to take note, as trail this week was well marked and the forecast spring rains did not wipe out trail. It was no surprise that Cinderella stumbled while out on trail and some notable sightings on trail were Forbes St, the Synagogue and a primary school. Mountie then mentioned that Teflon had tried to start his own church but couldn’t get any adherence.
Our sergeant NBCL stepped up and since he didn't make the run, due to missing the train, he was somewhat underprepared this week. Nutcracker was charged as NBCL had been able to convert her to a Forbes. NBCL was then charged for no Hash gear, but he revealed that he had in fact worn his Hash socks to work, so this rebounded to Rowdy. Squizzy was then asked to show us the new languages he has been learning. He began with some German, however, this offended Carpet Burns. Squizzy then demonstrated some Italian which was followed by some Greek. Normal was then charged for something about a 1 min timer and Disco was charged for being late, it was speculated that he was hiding his machete. People Pleaser was charged for his espresso martini, and we were told that it was much better than the amaretto sour he had last week. Pink Bits and IC were charged for their recent romantic trip north to Port Douglas, it was observed that they sadly returned with no rock on Pink Bits finger. Normal was charged for when he was a young apprentice, he filled lots cracks at the Barkly St school. Faucet was then charged for his hometown of Broome. Genitalia and Pizzle are currently in Broome, and have found hash trail on their adventures. Our virgin runner Billy was then called to the front and asked the usual questions. He revealed that he made himself cum. Precious was then charged, as it was noticed that although Nutcracker had reached 400 runs, her commemorative shirt only says 300. Shame! Billy then received another charge as he was heard to ask if we had a song book, he was keen to learn our songs. The final charge went to our GM, Precious. Lois was somewhat dismayed that he gave her a box of hash gear for storage, despite their current downsizing.
As an afternote, Faucet kindly offered to set next weeks run, and while it was a TBA on the night, it has now been announced that the run will be from the Golf House Hotel.
On On

RUN 2270 – Jus Cum – Black Hill Hotel – Monday 25th August 2025

RUN 2270 – Jus Cum – Black Hill Hotel – Monday 25th August 2025

Our GM began the circle this week by being thankful that Spartacus was at bar to tell him where the drink stop was located, as Precious and several hashers had lost trail. We then welcomed back Num Num and Mountie from their trip to Queensland. Sniffy runs this week went to Faucet on 11, NBCL on 282, Quick Dick on 303 and People Pleaser on 21. Lois Lane then sang the “21 today” song to commemorate this occasion.
Mountie began her screw of Jus Cum by wondering if she was also going through a divorce, as she compared this run to last weeks trail, complaining that there was not much chalk or flour, again. Jus Cum claimed that she used 2.5kg flour, but there was little to show for it. She then quoted from her bible, where Judas was late for the last supper, his excuse was that he had “jus cum”. Mountie’s final advise was to take less notice of Spartacus for future trails and this will make the run better. It was also noted that in the absence of Pink Bits, it was a nice touch to use pink chalk when setting the trail.
Our sergeant NBCL then took the floor and began with a few jokes. I missed the finer details of the first joke that was something about Dumb going to a brothel in Darwin and choosing from the menu list on the back wall. The second joke was about Mountie on a terrible flight. There was a dog on the plane that was a trained sniffer dog. The dog checked the bags on the plane and indicated with a paw on the trainers left knee. This meant cocaine. After checking another bag, the dog indicated with a paw on the trainers right knee. This meant heroin. After checking a third bag, the dog shits all over the owner of the bag and the bag. Mountie asks what that means. The trainer says it's because the dog found a bomb. NBCL then asked where’s IC. Mountie answered, so she took the charge. The joke was about IC and Pink Bits, NBCL had been asking about their sex life. After being assured that it was great, he asked if IC had tried any of the other holes nearby. The answer was no, because they can’t afford children yet.
Mountie was then charged again, for being a good catholic girl who went to church for confession before her run. She asked for forgiveness for the sin of vanity, looking in the mirror she was so beautiful. The priest said it wasn’t a sin; it was a mistake. Lois Lane was then charged as was Faucet. At the drink stop several hashers were trying to work out who Shane Bilston was, as he had commented on the Facebook page. It was then discovered that this was Faucet. This was followed by a comment that some hashers have no name, so No Name was charged too. Rowdy then charged Cris Cross as he was talking about washer, but really, he meant Faucet. Mountie then charged Pus Bucket, as earlier in the day on her way back from the airport, she had sent many messages of her travels back to Ballarat. Beginning with, eagle has landed, moving on to passing the Marsh, and then going though Dunnstown. Upon arrival, Dumb was there with flowers for Num Num, but Pus Bucket was still home asleep on the couch and had to be reminded to come and collect poor Mountie, despite her travelling commentary. Mountie was then charged again, as after the plane landed and the engine was turned off, her whining didn’t stop. Mountie, Precious, Quick Dick, Head Hunter, NBCL, Dumb and Lois Lane were then charged for losing trail and arriving at the pub to ask Spartacus where the drink stop was located. Quick Dick was then charged for extreme disrespect to GM. Num and Mountie were charged for their tour of the Scenic Rim. Precious was then charged for getting lost on trail, but when Mrs Dickhead tried to call him using the dickhead group chat, the only ones who answered were IC and Pink Bits, in Queensland. Mountie then charged NBCL. She had asked Pus Bucket to bring her jacket to the drink stop, but it was instead delivered by NBCL. He didn’t hand it to her, just threw it on the ground nearby. Mountie then just happened to find her jacket on the ground near the drink stop. Faucet and No Name scored the final charge, since they were all about the chips at the drink stop.
We finished with the announcement of Next Weeks Run. The run will be set by Teflon and will commence from his home at 10 Taylor Court, Invermay.
On On

RUN 2269 – Cat Flaps – Titanic Bandstand and on after at Eureka Bistro – Monday 18th August 2025

RUN 2269 – Cat Flaps – Titanic Bandstand and on after at Eureka Bistro – Monday 18th August 2025

Well, it was a freezing night, but we gathered in the Titanic bandstand and welcomed back Cinderella, Mastabait, Cris Cross and Donuts. Donuts also had the only sniffy run this week with 888 runs.
Mountie announced in her screw of Cat Flaps that she was the one who got screwed in the divorce, she may have been left with some wine, but she was short on flour and chalk. Mountie also noted that the trail went through the “rape tunnel”, she hung around there for a while, but did not get any action. Mountie could not find any references to cats in the bible but found plenty of references to disasters, and she claimed this run was a disaster.
NBCL then told us a joke about Half-a-bar, Cris Cross and Mastabait. They had all been on holidays. When trying to locate their accommodations, they were told that it was a stone’s throw away from the beach. Then they were told that they could recognise the house as it was the one with broken windows. Half-a-Bar scored another down down as he had been to Canada, but didn’t find a Mountie as good as our Mountie. Lois and Pauline were then charged for selling their home leaving them homeless. Normal was then charged for losing his glasses. Disco scored the next charge for something about the cold preventing an erection. The next charge went to NBCL, who was adjusting on the run and said it was so cold that he now had an inny! The final charge went to Cris Cross, as this freezing temperature was not indicative of climate warming.
We then quickly announced that next weeks run would be set by Jus Cum at a venue TBA.
After moving on to a warmer location at Eureka Pizza Bistro, we managed to drink about 10 bottles of Unwin wines, that were enjoyed by all those that partook. Thanks go to Cat Flaps for donating them to the Sovereign HHH, it was greatly appreciated.

RUN 2268 – Bent Nose – 110 Pleasant St Sth and on after at Eureka Bistro – Monday 11th August 2025

RUN 2268 – Bent Nose – 110 Pleasant St Sth and on after at Eureka Bistro – Monday 11th August 2025

Our GM was very happy to announce the return of Lois Lane this week. We were then welcomed to home of Isaac, however we were told that we were not allowed inside, this was a shed only welcome. It was then postulated that their hose may be broken, as bird shit was visible on the normally pristine car.
Welcomes Backs went to Lois Lane, Pauline &BP. However, Lois Lane was out of practice as her list was missing two. Lois Lane was charged for her mistake, along with Fawcet & Noname.
Sniffy runs this week went to Campaspe on 262. Spencer then told us that this was the digit sum of 10, which is the digit sum of 1, so Spencer scored a charge too. The other sniffy run went to D&C on 396, which is a 3 and then almost a 69, just flipped around.
The St Kilda supporters scored the next charge, Mountie, Bent Nose & Disco, getting a drink. Bent Nose was then charged for resembling some of the dolls in his garage.
Mountie then screwed Bent Nose. She listed a few appropriate bible quotes and mentioned that we were sniffing around for trail all over the place, with some longer than is typical on backs and large gaps between trail marking.
The glass penis that had been missing the last few weeks made a triumphant return and was delivered by Uber meats. This allowed someone to be charged for making a dick of themselves before the run. Someone found a necklace on the floor with a name on it, only to ask “Who does it belong to?”. Dumb n dumber then had to drink from the beer filled penis. He even spilled some, so bp was charged as she now must clean up the mess.
NBCL then welcomed us back to the Pleasure Dome. He led with a visual gag, opening the roller door to show off Bent’s car. The door then closed, but NBCL returned through the side door. NBCL then talked to us about a seminal book, thinking fast, thinking slow. Normal was then called out the front, but he wasn’t listening, so NBCL added a pretty please. He saw an advertisement in the newspaper for an assistant to a gynaecologist for $200k per year. It required the applicant to shave, prepare and widen the vagina for the gynaecologist. Normal called to get more information about the job and was told to apply in Darwin, as that’s where queue ends.
Lois Lane and Head Hunter scored the next charge, for their admiration of BP’s manicured bush. People Pleaser was then charged, as he and Riley had taken the glass penis home, where it was waiting for a box to be built for it. We are still waiting for the box, but Pink Bits was charged as it was also seen on her car seat. Lois Lane then charged Bent Nose. You can’t pick your in-laws. It was noted that what was once the family tablecloth, was now covering a bike in the shed, disrespecting Lois Lanes childhood. Jus Cum was then charged for driving slow and being easily identifiable, as their van has the company name on it. Head Hunter was then charged for having bush on her mind, admiring many a bush in Newington, so then Quick Dick was charged too. People Pleaser was charged for his late start on the run, where he was seen sprinting up Pleasant St to catch up. Meanwhile Precious was charged for leaving the rest of the runners for dead. NBCL was charged for looking for a man with a horn. Snag also charged for something about the toilet block in Vic Park. Disco was then charged for hiding the cash tin in the sleeve of Precious’s sleeve, this was then a visual gag, where the can finally came out. Bent Nose was then charged for failing to share any of his hand warmers, he has boxes of them in his shed. Rowdy was then the final charge since the Dr fu#@ed him.
We finished with the announcement of Next Weeks Run. The run will be set by Cat Flaps and will commence from the Titanic Bandstand on Sturt St. The on after will then again be at the Eureka Bistro, with the promise of some Unwin wine to be distributed and consumed.
On On