The weather was hot, but it didn’t dissuade the regular hashers. We also had a few welcomes backs to GILF and Wee Problem. Sniffy runs were awarded to Immaculate Conception on 202 and Campaspe on 282. Quick Dick was given a Hashy Birthday and a second down down for Jesus’s birthday too.
Mountie thought she was screwing Teflon, but it was Gilf’s run. Either way, there was no mention of Teflon or Gilf in the bible. Mountie read a couple of bible quotes with something about one flesh, but I was having trouble following with lots of background chatter. Mountie took one for Cinderella, falling on trail, but she said that she still enjoyed being out in the bush running hills. We were told that Teflon and Gilf were trying to join a church, but they needed to abstain for 2 weeks to join. They were going well, but as Gilf reached down for frozen vegies, Telfon could not help himself. After admitting that they didn’t abstain for 2 weeks, they were denied entry to the church, funnily enough, they said that at Safeway too.
In the absence of NBCL, we looked for the lord’s child to be our Sergeant. But Precious couldn’t find one, so we went with a Foster child instead. Shafted was thrown under the bus again and stepped up to run the circle. He began with a story about a new up and coming horse that was called “Squagaga”. First charges went to Gilf, Pink Bits and me, as we all had the same shirts on. Precious was charged for getting tickets to day 4 of the cricket and Disco was charged for buying coffee at Pipers and not getting one for Spartacus. Head Hunter then told us that Spartacus doesn’t drink coffee, he usually drinks tea. Head Hunter was charged for her new improved hand, no longer in a sling and brace. Squizzy was charged for his hair becoming less grey and Teflon was charged for Gilf’s wrist injury. Dumb was charged for his socks, that looked like they had a penis on them and Mountie was charged for steeling Cinderella’s job, bleeding on trail. While Cinderella is worried that AI will steal the future jobs of lawyers, there was comment that women must be in 50% lawyer jobs, despite ability. This was refuted that at least that is better than all the jobs being filled by old white men. Nummy and Shafted scored a down down for wearing matching shirts and Squizzy was charged for tripping on trail but managing to save himself without hitting dirt. Jus Cum, Mrs D and I were charged for not getting lost this time and successfully finding our way to the drink stop. Quick Dick (or maybe someone else, I forgot to write this down?) was charged for wearing a Nugget Buster Hash Shirt and Mrs D was charged for something about Golliwogs. Half-a-bar was a member of this weeks bar flies, that were driven to the drink stop by Shafted. On the way back, there was some story about Shafted’s anal beads getting Half-a-bar all tied up, but at least there was no incident with a fish hook. Squizzy was charged for arriving on 2 wheels, with a spare motorbike chain around his neck and the final charge went to People Pleaser for getting liquid on a girls face for the first time.
Next Years Run, also next weeks run, will be hosted by Her Vajesty from her home at 18 Sligo St, Alfredton.
On On
Sunday, December 28, 2025
Sunday, December 21, 2025
RUN 2288 – Christmas Run – East Point Football Club Rooms - Monday 22nd December 2025
Our Christmas Run for 2025 was festive and full of laughs. Thanks to Rowdy for the songs and Mrs D for the printing of our song books. Welcomes backs went to Dirtbag, Fascinator, Fop, Her Vaj, Billy, Down Under Ware and Just Fuckin Lost (or Angela). Sniffy Runs went to Pebbles on 666 (with a commemorative T-Shirt), Fascinator on 266 and Precious on 366.
NBCL began with a joke. Being Christmas, he’d bought a massive tree. When asked if he was going to put it up himself, he answered, nah I’ll put it in the lounge room. In the absence of Half-a-bar, the Welsh and Kiwi’s were called to the front for sheep themed Carols.
After visiting the Musters Arms, the back of Skin Ski and Surf, Irish Murphy’s, Sporting Globe, Robin Hood Hotel we returned to the East Point Club Rooms. We were joined in the circle by Jan, who became our Virgin for the evening and our newest recruit. What do you get when you cross Christmas and a duck, Christmas quackers.
Billy was called out and put down on his knees for naming. Names that were mentioned were Trailer Man and Ice Man, but his naming was announced to be “Nice Member”. Welcome Nice Member! He was then given the penis glass to skull.
Donuts charged Bad Hair Day being missing. He’d been mugged by 3 blokes who played tuba, cello and violin. It was orchestrated. Precious was charged for forgetting the trumpet, and Pauline was charged for bringing the hash trumpet for Precious. Shafted claimed to find a foreskin out the front and Lois told a Christmas tale about Her Vaj waiting for Santa to cum, then he got up and left. Pink Bits was struggling to hear what was going on over the kerfuffle. Cinderella was charged for wardrobe malfunction, if you want to show boobs, don’t wear a dress. NBCL was charged for looking for IC, when he was standing next to him and Jan and Pebbles were charged for a conversation when walking along, where he claimed that he’s seen vaj’s that are this big (visual gag). When asked how you f@#k them, he said, well….they stretch. Jan was charged for a long bathroom visit, but we believe it was not a technicolour Jan. Someone asked when does repeated charging become bullying. Maybe 2 tests ago (he’s from England). Jan was then given the penis glass to skull, now maybe it’s bullying, so Precious helped with the down down. At this moment Eagle Rock came on and pants went down down.
Next weeks run will be hosted by GILF from her home at 10 Taylor Court Invermay.
On On
NBCL began with a joke. Being Christmas, he’d bought a massive tree. When asked if he was going to put it up himself, he answered, nah I’ll put it in the lounge room. In the absence of Half-a-bar, the Welsh and Kiwi’s were called to the front for sheep themed Carols.
After visiting the Musters Arms, the back of Skin Ski and Surf, Irish Murphy’s, Sporting Globe, Robin Hood Hotel we returned to the East Point Club Rooms. We were joined in the circle by Jan, who became our Virgin for the evening and our newest recruit. What do you get when you cross Christmas and a duck, Christmas quackers.
Billy was called out and put down on his knees for naming. Names that were mentioned were Trailer Man and Ice Man, but his naming was announced to be “Nice Member”. Welcome Nice Member! He was then given the penis glass to skull.
Donuts charged Bad Hair Day being missing. He’d been mugged by 3 blokes who played tuba, cello and violin. It was orchestrated. Precious was charged for forgetting the trumpet, and Pauline was charged for bringing the hash trumpet for Precious. Shafted claimed to find a foreskin out the front and Lois told a Christmas tale about Her Vaj waiting for Santa to cum, then he got up and left. Pink Bits was struggling to hear what was going on over the kerfuffle. Cinderella was charged for wardrobe malfunction, if you want to show boobs, don’t wear a dress. NBCL was charged for looking for IC, when he was standing next to him and Jan and Pebbles were charged for a conversation when walking along, where he claimed that he’s seen vaj’s that are this big (visual gag). When asked how you f@#k them, he said, well….they stretch. Jan was charged for a long bathroom visit, but we believe it was not a technicolour Jan. Someone asked when does repeated charging become bullying. Maybe 2 tests ago (he’s from England). Jan was then given the penis glass to skull, now maybe it’s bullying, so Precious helped with the down down. At this moment Eagle Rock came on and pants went down down.
Next weeks run will be hosted by GILF from her home at 10 Taylor Court Invermay.
On On
Sunday, December 14, 2025
RUN 2287 – Doodle Nuts & Carpet Burns – Eureka Pizza – Monday 15th December 2025
This was run 2287, which was not from the Grapes hotel and where Doodle Nuts was late for her own run. Welcomes backs went to Num Num, Bad Hair Day, Squizzy and Deep Heat, but no one wanted to wait for Deep Heat to show up. Lots of special Sniffy runs this week with Half-a-bar on 1400, Bad Hair Day on 1300, Immaculate Conception on 200 and Disco on 100! Some commemorative T-shirts were provided, and some were still being prepared. Disco also received his 100-run tankard to celebrate this occasion. There were also lots of Hashy Birthday’s, with Mountie, Campaspe, Jus Cum, Pus Bucket and Disco.
Mountie’s screw began by recounting how the Catholics put a bin on top of our on back, causing confusion to the small group of only 6 runners, and how our run finished at John Thomas. Mountie then told us that Mrs D and Pink Bits went to see Dr Rowdy, as poor Pink Bits had been feeling sick in the morning and had cravings. He told her she was pregnant, but she said that she hadn’t been with a man. Rowdy said that there was a similar story a long time ago and 3 wise men turned up, so he didn’t want to miss that. Mountie then asked the scientist (me), what happens when you combine human and goat DNA?.... A lifetime ban.
Following the return of Squizzy, we had some of the usual language jokes. In the absence of Deep Heat, Disco took his drink and Bent was charged for pointing his Percy in public. Disco was also charged for being too posh to use his new tankard and IC was charged for being uncomfortable during Mountie’s joke about Pink Bits. Dumb was charged for saying he had the IQ of a genius when he didn’t actually know what the IQ of a genius was. Squizzy was charged for asking why no one was dressed up for the Christmas run and Jus Cum was charged for asking for diamonds on her birthday, when all she got was a pack of cards. We finished up with Half-a-bar charging Spartacus for being able to get his recent round of drinks at Oscars at a cheaper price to what he was charged.
Next weeks run will be our Christmas Run. Come dressed in Christmas attire. The “run” and Hashy Carols will start from the East Point Football Club Rooms and we will be starting early at 6pm.
On On
Mountie’s screw began by recounting how the Catholics put a bin on top of our on back, causing confusion to the small group of only 6 runners, and how our run finished at John Thomas. Mountie then told us that Mrs D and Pink Bits went to see Dr Rowdy, as poor Pink Bits had been feeling sick in the morning and had cravings. He told her she was pregnant, but she said that she hadn’t been with a man. Rowdy said that there was a similar story a long time ago and 3 wise men turned up, so he didn’t want to miss that. Mountie then asked the scientist (me), what happens when you combine human and goat DNA?.... A lifetime ban.
Following the return of Squizzy, we had some of the usual language jokes. In the absence of Deep Heat, Disco took his drink and Bent was charged for pointing his Percy in public. Disco was also charged for being too posh to use his new tankard and IC was charged for being uncomfortable during Mountie’s joke about Pink Bits. Dumb was charged for saying he had the IQ of a genius when he didn’t actually know what the IQ of a genius was. Squizzy was charged for asking why no one was dressed up for the Christmas run and Jus Cum was charged for asking for diamonds on her birthday, when all she got was a pack of cards. We finished up with Half-a-bar charging Spartacus for being able to get his recent round of drinks at Oscars at a cheaper price to what he was charged.
Next weeks run will be our Christmas Run. Come dressed in Christmas attire. The “run” and Hashy Carols will start from the East Point Football Club Rooms and we will be starting early at 6pm.
On On
Sunday, December 7, 2025
RUN 2286 – Rowdy – Farmers Arms Hotel, Creswick – Monday 8th December 2025
This week our GM began with a whine about the garbage truck parked out the front that was taking up way too many parking spaces. This was the excuse for the missing crucifix, as it was deemed that it was too far to carry it, because they had to park in another postcode.
Welcomes backs went to Billy, Head Hunter, Dim Wit, No Name and D&C. Cinderella was the one to say that D&C and Nutcracker were not yet in the circle, so she scored the down down. Sniffy runs were awarded to Pink Bits on 181 and Dim Wit on 191. Dumb n dumber spoke up here, so he scored a drink too. We finished this up with Disco on 99 and No Name on 12, which had a square root joke.
Rowdy’s run was screwed by Mountie. There were some bible analogies and mention of Job and Ezekiel, although the pronunciation was questionable. Drs Rowdy and Campaspe were asked about the treatment of Disco for a lung condition. Disco was told that just because something is natural, doesn’t mean that its safe and healthy. An example was that if you sit under a certain plant in the backyard for 5 minutes, you’ll die. What plant is this? A water lily.
In the absence of our Sergeant, Shafted was asked to step up, but he wasn’t feeling it, so nominated Spencer Hocking. Mountie and Pus Bucket were charged because cum in the eye is not a good thing. Nutcracker was charged for showing off her Mitiamo tattoo’s, while showing her chest, she said they’re fake, and the tattoo’s too. Precious was charged for protecting women from the mosh pit at a music festival and Pink Bits was charged for being the only one to get sunburnt, when even the Ranga was OK. Pink Bits was charged again for her 181 run score, with a cricket analogy and something about being two fa. This was followed by Dumb being charged for sitting in the circle. Back to cricket chit chat, the English team were said to be f’ed, not like IC. Dim wit’s joke asked what are 2 words that open all doors?...Push and pull. IC and Pink Bits were both ready with charges, but since IC usually comes first, Pink Bits was given the go ahead. Bent Nose was charged for actually going the right way on the walk. Mountie and Pauline were charged for having bike helmets on, but different colours and Half-a-bar was charged for being an expert on Spencer Hocking, even knowing where he is buried. Again, there was a child nearby in the beer garden, so songs reverted to Nursery Rhymes. Bent Nose was charged for his new haircut resembling a very small mohawk. Billy was charged for his band premier. Mastabait was charged for not being able to walk due to a recent medical procedure and Precious was charged for his album debut on Spotify.
Next Weeks Run was announced to be set by Doodle Nuts. Recent communications show that this will now be co-hosted by Carpet Burns and Doodle Nuts from the Grapes Hotel on Grant St.
On on
Welcomes backs went to Billy, Head Hunter, Dim Wit, No Name and D&C. Cinderella was the one to say that D&C and Nutcracker were not yet in the circle, so she scored the down down. Sniffy runs were awarded to Pink Bits on 181 and Dim Wit on 191. Dumb n dumber spoke up here, so he scored a drink too. We finished this up with Disco on 99 and No Name on 12, which had a square root joke.
Rowdy’s run was screwed by Mountie. There were some bible analogies and mention of Job and Ezekiel, although the pronunciation was questionable. Drs Rowdy and Campaspe were asked about the treatment of Disco for a lung condition. Disco was told that just because something is natural, doesn’t mean that its safe and healthy. An example was that if you sit under a certain plant in the backyard for 5 minutes, you’ll die. What plant is this? A water lily.
In the absence of our Sergeant, Shafted was asked to step up, but he wasn’t feeling it, so nominated Spencer Hocking. Mountie and Pus Bucket were charged because cum in the eye is not a good thing. Nutcracker was charged for showing off her Mitiamo tattoo’s, while showing her chest, she said they’re fake, and the tattoo’s too. Precious was charged for protecting women from the mosh pit at a music festival and Pink Bits was charged for being the only one to get sunburnt, when even the Ranga was OK. Pink Bits was charged again for her 181 run score, with a cricket analogy and something about being two fa. This was followed by Dumb being charged for sitting in the circle. Back to cricket chit chat, the English team were said to be f’ed, not like IC. Dim wit’s joke asked what are 2 words that open all doors?...Push and pull. IC and Pink Bits were both ready with charges, but since IC usually comes first, Pink Bits was given the go ahead. Bent Nose was charged for actually going the right way on the walk. Mountie and Pauline were charged for having bike helmets on, but different colours and Half-a-bar was charged for being an expert on Spencer Hocking, even knowing where he is buried. Again, there was a child nearby in the beer garden, so songs reverted to Nursery Rhymes. Bent Nose was charged for his new haircut resembling a very small mohawk. Billy was charged for his band premier. Mastabait was charged for not being able to walk due to a recent medical procedure and Precious was charged for his album debut on Spotify.
Next Weeks Run was announced to be set by Doodle Nuts. Recent communications show that this will now be co-hosted by Carpet Burns and Doodle Nuts from the Grapes Hotel on Grant St.
On on
Sunday, November 30, 2025
RUN 2285 – Committee – Bandstand and Eureka Pizza – Monday 1st December 2025
As a follow up to the weekend in Mitiamo, someone seems to have misplaced the SOS singlet for the cross. Today’s committee run included the 12 days of Hashmas, with several verses sung at each halt and at the finishing circle. Lois was also charged as a Harriette with a bush please.
Sniffy runs this week went to Nutcracker 414, People Pleaser 33, Precious 373 and NBCL for reaching 300 runs, for which he was also presented with a commemorative T shirt.
Mountie screwed the run and mentioned that Mrs D was the stand in GM in Miti. It was noted that the run went past 10 churches or ex churches. Half-a-bar was said to have found a sheep with a bible in its mouth, the owner was easy to find, since their name was in the front cover. Bent Nose and BP were asked how their sex life was going, BP was very satisfied after doing chores. Half-a-bar wanted a cream bun, when asked how fresh, it was described as being as fresh as the woman of your dreams. He then changed his mind and said I’ll have a pie thanks.
Half-a-bar charged Nutcracker and NBCL for organising the worst weekend. He had to make his own pizza, put stubby’s in his own hand and his bed had been given to someone else. Lois was charged for Sat night, the night that the camel toe died. Half-a-bar was charged for giving IC a lift to Miti, with lots of expletives. IC was charged for laughing a Half-a-bar’s jokes. Half-a-bar was given a dollar to buy bread, potatoes, egg’s and chocolate. But he said, you can get that these days, now that they’ve got cameras. Spencer was charged for getting hooked, and Rowdy was charged for saying that he was no longer insured or registered, while remedying the situation. Spencer said he was glad that Shafted wasn’t fishing for tuna. There was then something about missing Bent Noses -69 run and Precious not being offered pussy in a timely manner. The RA was called for, Spencer answered that they weren’t here, so he’ll do, and was charged for rain on trail. Mrs D was also charged for incorrectly predicting no rain, which left poor Pink Bits soggy. We did see 3 rainbows which was very gay, so Normal was charged. Someone asked how they came up with the LGBTQIA+ sequence, the answer given was “arm wrestling”. There was something about a robotic cleaner, and BP was called. Cinderella was charged for forgetting he was driving at the Drink Stop and for the only spew at Miti. We were then inundated with children at the nearby Christmas decorations, and a call was made for a song book with no naughty words. Instead, we sang Baa baa black sheep. Bent was charged for paying for Lois’s meal and Pus Bucket was charged for stirring the beer with his finger. Twinkle Twinkle was the song choice here. Disco was charged for his 3 bags nasal routine and we sang Incy wincy spider. Pus Bucket was charged for missing his Fellow grog master and lastly Spencer was charged for getting hooked, Shafted went fishing in Echuca, but all he got was snags.
Rowdy kindly offered to fill Next Weeks Run. It will be held from the Farmer’s Arms Hotel in Creswick and he has predicted that there will be nice weather.
On On
Sniffy runs this week went to Nutcracker 414, People Pleaser 33, Precious 373 and NBCL for reaching 300 runs, for which he was also presented with a commemorative T shirt.
Mountie screwed the run and mentioned that Mrs D was the stand in GM in Miti. It was noted that the run went past 10 churches or ex churches. Half-a-bar was said to have found a sheep with a bible in its mouth, the owner was easy to find, since their name was in the front cover. Bent Nose and BP were asked how their sex life was going, BP was very satisfied after doing chores. Half-a-bar wanted a cream bun, when asked how fresh, it was described as being as fresh as the woman of your dreams. He then changed his mind and said I’ll have a pie thanks.
Half-a-bar charged Nutcracker and NBCL for organising the worst weekend. He had to make his own pizza, put stubby’s in his own hand and his bed had been given to someone else. Lois was charged for Sat night, the night that the camel toe died. Half-a-bar was charged for giving IC a lift to Miti, with lots of expletives. IC was charged for laughing a Half-a-bar’s jokes. Half-a-bar was given a dollar to buy bread, potatoes, egg’s and chocolate. But he said, you can get that these days, now that they’ve got cameras. Spencer was charged for getting hooked, and Rowdy was charged for saying that he was no longer insured or registered, while remedying the situation. Spencer said he was glad that Shafted wasn’t fishing for tuna. There was then something about missing Bent Noses -69 run and Precious not being offered pussy in a timely manner. The RA was called for, Spencer answered that they weren’t here, so he’ll do, and was charged for rain on trail. Mrs D was also charged for incorrectly predicting no rain, which left poor Pink Bits soggy. We did see 3 rainbows which was very gay, so Normal was charged. Someone asked how they came up with the LGBTQIA+ sequence, the answer given was “arm wrestling”. There was something about a robotic cleaner, and BP was called. Cinderella was charged for forgetting he was driving at the Drink Stop and for the only spew at Miti. We were then inundated with children at the nearby Christmas decorations, and a call was made for a song book with no naughty words. Instead, we sang Baa baa black sheep. Bent was charged for paying for Lois’s meal and Pus Bucket was charged for stirring the beer with his finger. Twinkle Twinkle was the song choice here. Disco was charged for his 3 bags nasal routine and we sang Incy wincy spider. Pus Bucket was charged for missing his Fellow grog master and lastly Spencer was charged for getting hooked, Shafted went fishing in Echuca, but all he got was snags.
Rowdy kindly offered to fill Next Weeks Run. It will be held from the Farmer’s Arms Hotel in Creswick and he has predicted that there will be nice weather.
On On
Friday, November 28, 2025
RUN 2284 – NBCL – Miti – Sat 29th November 2025
While I’m aware that what happens in Miti stays in Miti, I did take notes for the circle that took place after the run on Saturday, and I’d like to thank Nutcracker and NBCL for hosting another awesome Miti weekend. Down Downs were served in water bottles cut in half, since no cups were bought along.
Welcomes backs were extended to Minico, Doodle Nuts and Hush Puppy. It was pointed out that Lois Lane and our stand in GM, Mrs D, both missed adding Head Hunter to this list. So…Welcome back to Head Hunter too. Sniffy Runs were awarded to Pauline 450, Carpet Burns 171, Rowdy 1469, NBCL 299 and Mrs D 878
Mounties screw talked about the trail and the aboriginal stutter that resulted in Terrick Terrick National Park. We saw a speedy kangaroo and many, many ants. Carpet Burns failed her assigned task to take the drink stop to the lookout and we had to descend to get our drinks. Mountie then talked about Rowdy Chapter 67, blessed are the meek for they will inherit the earth. She also mentioned the sermon on the mount where anger was described as the root of murder and lust the root of adultery. Mountie finished by charging NBCL who was looking for Nutcracker, since he saw her car here. Then he remembered that he drove the car here and may or may not have gotten lost setting trail. Carpet Burns was charged for starting her drinking at 9am and Pus Bucket was charged for going the wrong way on the way to the run, but then Big Dog was charged for following Pus Bucket.
IC charged nutcracker for a fabulous Miti weekend, even bringing a hooker this year that caught Spencer Hocking. I was then charged for getting down on my knees with a stick in my mouth. Spencer Hocking was charged for getting lost and Jus Cum was charged for 2 wee’s on trail. She does have a wee problem. Jus cum was heard to ask what would happen if a snake bites her on her flaps while doing a wee. I said I had a snake bandage but wrapping could be difficult, maybe a mankini style. Quick Dick said he’d take it to the vet asap. Phuckwit Phil said, who’d want to suck poison out of that? Lois and Pauline were charged for wearing burka’s (aka fly nets) and Jus Cum was charged for getting her shorts/flaps stuck while climbing a fence. Lois was charged for not finishing her down down and Jus Cum for spilling her beer. There was then a joke about a girl so tall that he had to go up on her. Doodle nuts was charged for stealing Half-a-bar’s usual room and Rowdy was charged for wanting help to get his beer opened, while wearing his Hash Hat. Dig dog and Hush Puppy were charged for being matchy matchy and last charge went to Phuckwit Phil for turning his down down into a beer bong.
On On
Welcomes backs were extended to Minico, Doodle Nuts and Hush Puppy. It was pointed out that Lois Lane and our stand in GM, Mrs D, both missed adding Head Hunter to this list. So…Welcome back to Head Hunter too. Sniffy Runs were awarded to Pauline 450, Carpet Burns 171, Rowdy 1469, NBCL 299 and Mrs D 878
Mounties screw talked about the trail and the aboriginal stutter that resulted in Terrick Terrick National Park. We saw a speedy kangaroo and many, many ants. Carpet Burns failed her assigned task to take the drink stop to the lookout and we had to descend to get our drinks. Mountie then talked about Rowdy Chapter 67, blessed are the meek for they will inherit the earth. She also mentioned the sermon on the mount where anger was described as the root of murder and lust the root of adultery. Mountie finished by charging NBCL who was looking for Nutcracker, since he saw her car here. Then he remembered that he drove the car here and may or may not have gotten lost setting trail. Carpet Burns was charged for starting her drinking at 9am and Pus Bucket was charged for going the wrong way on the way to the run, but then Big Dog was charged for following Pus Bucket.
IC charged nutcracker for a fabulous Miti weekend, even bringing a hooker this year that caught Spencer Hocking. I was then charged for getting down on my knees with a stick in my mouth. Spencer Hocking was charged for getting lost and Jus Cum was charged for 2 wee’s on trail. She does have a wee problem. Jus cum was heard to ask what would happen if a snake bites her on her flaps while doing a wee. I said I had a snake bandage but wrapping could be difficult, maybe a mankini style. Quick Dick said he’d take it to the vet asap. Phuckwit Phil said, who’d want to suck poison out of that? Lois and Pauline were charged for wearing burka’s (aka fly nets) and Jus Cum was charged for getting her shorts/flaps stuck while climbing a fence. Lois was charged for not finishing her down down and Jus Cum for spilling her beer. There was then a joke about a girl so tall that he had to go up on her. Doodle nuts was charged for stealing Half-a-bar’s usual room and Rowdy was charged for wanting help to get his beer opened, while wearing his Hash Hat. Dig dog and Hush Puppy were charged for being matchy matchy and last charge went to Phuckwit Phil for turning his down down into a beer bong.
On On
Sunday, November 23, 2025
RUN 2283 – Dumb’n’dumber – Park Hotel – Monday 24th November 2025
Welcome to this weeks run, which was the holy 1 day of sun in Ballarat, in sharp contrast to last weeks weather. It was hard to hear above the Ed Sheeran music, so all the gingers were charged, Mrs D, Rowdy, Bent Nose, Cinderella and Disco while the music was being turned down. There was a big list of welcomes backs that went to Normal, Phukwit Phil, Cris Cross, Pebbles, Quick Dick and Carpet Burns. Quite the turn out this week!
Mountie’s screw began with a bible quote and finished with a joke about Nutcracker and NBCL’s sex life, where an examination by Dr Rowdy suggested improvement with a grape and a donut. Dumb and Num asked Dr Rowdy for a similar examination, but he said he couldn’t help, when pushed, he suggested an apple and a cheerio for them.
NBCL talked about the cricket and told us about the new Jehovah advent calendar, where every door opened says “Fk off!” He also told us about Rowdy’s last appointment, where a hunched old man shuffled into his office and then emerged walking up straight. When asked what he did, the answer was….Gave him a longer stick. Precious was charged on behalf all, for the support provided to Normal when Jill had her accident. Shafted was charged with a bad case of wankers hand. Nutcracker and NBCL were charged for not reaching orgasm, and Nutcracker asking, what am I swallowing? Dumb was charged for something about golf and Shafted was charged again for what is actually a horse whip injury. Normal was charged for getting Jill back to Normal and Phukwit Phil was charged for spelling his name wrong in the book. Carpet Burns was charged for not spreading covid this time, but syphilis instead.
Meals were coming out, so Next Weeks Run was announced to be a committee run from Normal’s bandstand with the on after at Eureka Pizza. There will be an event posted on Facebook to gauge numbers of those planning to attend.
For those attending, the Mitiamo weekend is planning to include an intervening run.
On on
Mountie’s screw began with a bible quote and finished with a joke about Nutcracker and NBCL’s sex life, where an examination by Dr Rowdy suggested improvement with a grape and a donut. Dumb and Num asked Dr Rowdy for a similar examination, but he said he couldn’t help, when pushed, he suggested an apple and a cheerio for them.
NBCL talked about the cricket and told us about the new Jehovah advent calendar, where every door opened says “Fk off!” He also told us about Rowdy’s last appointment, where a hunched old man shuffled into his office and then emerged walking up straight. When asked what he did, the answer was….Gave him a longer stick. Precious was charged on behalf all, for the support provided to Normal when Jill had her accident. Shafted was charged with a bad case of wankers hand. Nutcracker and NBCL were charged for not reaching orgasm, and Nutcracker asking, what am I swallowing? Dumb was charged for something about golf and Shafted was charged again for what is actually a horse whip injury. Normal was charged for getting Jill back to Normal and Phukwit Phil was charged for spelling his name wrong in the book. Carpet Burns was charged for not spreading covid this time, but syphilis instead.
Meals were coming out, so Next Weeks Run was announced to be a committee run from Normal’s bandstand with the on after at Eureka Pizza. There will be an event posted on Facebook to gauge numbers of those planning to attend.
For those attending, the Mitiamo weekend is planning to include an intervening run.
On on
Sunday, November 16, 2025
RUN 2282 – Donuts – 629 Post Office Rd Ross Creek – Remembrance Run – Monday 17th November 2025
Welcome to the blog for the run that was described as moister than an oyster. We welcomed back Exit, Wee Problem, Gilf and Billy. The only sniffy run that was recognised was Disco on 96, as a backwards 69.
The screw had to wait for the hare, Donuts, who was busy with dinner preparations. Mountie began her screw by saying that she had looked though her bible, but it had nothing to say about about Donuts, so she made some other quotes instead. Mountie went on to describe the run and was somewhat critical of Donuts giving NBCL the map. Pink arrows on trail may have contributed to Rowdy becoming lost. But we all made it back to the Drink Stop eventually. Someone was heard to say “Can’t get a Bar” and Mountie told us a joke about Bad Hair Day, Bent Nose and Donuts who on the walk had seen a sign for blow jobs. Prices ranged from $10 to $50 and $100. Bad Hair Day went for the cheapest option and said it was great, had a donut placed on his penis and it was topped with whipped cream that needed to be licked off. Bent Nose went for the $50 option, described the same and was very satisfied. Donuts selected the $100 job, described it the same, but said it was so good I ate it myself.
NBCL began with a symbolic burning of the hand drawn trail map that did not stop us getting lost. He then told us that he’d had a conversation with Billy before the run, and questioned why he locked his car when out here. Pauline was charged for locking his car too, now that he was outside of the safety of the village. Lois then told us a joke about Mountie, who had just done her tax return. When asked to list her occupation, she said whore. The accountant didn’t like that and asked for another description, so she said prostitute. This was also unacceptable, so Mountie said chicken farmer. When asked for an explanation, she said she’d raised 5000 cocks last year. Lois was charged for getting good value for her joke, as it was told yesterday at PMT Hash. Bad Hair Day was charged for saying Hello Hair/Hare, he was clearly not talking to himself. We then celebrated a Hashy Birthday for Evie (Evil), who turned 15 today. So if one dog drinks, all dogs drink and Big Dog was charged. Nutcracker, never one to disappoint, piped up to say “He’s not here”, so she was charged too. I was then charged as a visiting GM. Yes, Campaspe is the new Grand Mistress of PMT hash. Dumb was charged for turning the fire into a smoker. NBCL was charged for sending the runners the wrong way, when holding the trail map. He also told us to keep an eye out for a tree, which is not a particularly useful landmark while running through a forest. Rowdy was charged for coming first, even though he was following pink arrows. Pauline was charged for buying Olympic themed condoms, gold silver and bronze. When asked which one to use, silver was selected, so he would come second. Someone questioned the use of the bronze one, this was quickly answered with “its for the other hole, so you come turd”. Dumb was charged again for adding donut oil to the fire, it really wasn’t helping. IC, Disco, Mrs D and Bent Nose were charged for calling trail on the walk, so Lois and Pauline didn’t get lost. Dumb was charged AGAIN, to try to keep him away from the fire. There was then another joke about Dumb going to a seminar about the paranormal. People were asked, who believes in ghosts, lots of hands went up. Who’s seen a ghost, a few hands went up. When asked if anyone has had sex with ghost, Dumb’s hand went up. When questioned further, he explained, Oh I thought you said goat. Bad Hair Day updated us on Jill, saying that she was back to normal. Wow, good recovery! But No, she is just going home to normal and her recovery is still a work in progress. People Pleaser was talking with Exit and they scored charges, because she thought his name was People Teaser. Talking more about fire accelerants, we were told that diesel was used earlier or was it distillate. Pauline was charged for stealing Shafted mining related stubby holder and Jus Cum was charged for not worrying about getting lost on trail. Wee Problem was charged for not being in the circle, while she was fking cooking. Exit scored the last down down.
Next weeks run will be hosted by Dumb’n’dumber from the Park Hotel, because Nummy will be away.
Final announcement is a reminder for anyone yet to pay for our Mitiamo weekend. Give $65 cash to Nutcracker ASAP.
On On
The screw had to wait for the hare, Donuts, who was busy with dinner preparations. Mountie began her screw by saying that she had looked though her bible, but it had nothing to say about about Donuts, so she made some other quotes instead. Mountie went on to describe the run and was somewhat critical of Donuts giving NBCL the map. Pink arrows on trail may have contributed to Rowdy becoming lost. But we all made it back to the Drink Stop eventually. Someone was heard to say “Can’t get a Bar” and Mountie told us a joke about Bad Hair Day, Bent Nose and Donuts who on the walk had seen a sign for blow jobs. Prices ranged from $10 to $50 and $100. Bad Hair Day went for the cheapest option and said it was great, had a donut placed on his penis and it was topped with whipped cream that needed to be licked off. Bent Nose went for the $50 option, described the same and was very satisfied. Donuts selected the $100 job, described it the same, but said it was so good I ate it myself.
NBCL began with a symbolic burning of the hand drawn trail map that did not stop us getting lost. He then told us that he’d had a conversation with Billy before the run, and questioned why he locked his car when out here. Pauline was charged for locking his car too, now that he was outside of the safety of the village. Lois then told us a joke about Mountie, who had just done her tax return. When asked to list her occupation, she said whore. The accountant didn’t like that and asked for another description, so she said prostitute. This was also unacceptable, so Mountie said chicken farmer. When asked for an explanation, she said she’d raised 5000 cocks last year. Lois was charged for getting good value for her joke, as it was told yesterday at PMT Hash. Bad Hair Day was charged for saying Hello Hair/Hare, he was clearly not talking to himself. We then celebrated a Hashy Birthday for Evie (Evil), who turned 15 today. So if one dog drinks, all dogs drink and Big Dog was charged. Nutcracker, never one to disappoint, piped up to say “He’s not here”, so she was charged too. I was then charged as a visiting GM. Yes, Campaspe is the new Grand Mistress of PMT hash. Dumb was charged for turning the fire into a smoker. NBCL was charged for sending the runners the wrong way, when holding the trail map. He also told us to keep an eye out for a tree, which is not a particularly useful landmark while running through a forest. Rowdy was charged for coming first, even though he was following pink arrows. Pauline was charged for buying Olympic themed condoms, gold silver and bronze. When asked which one to use, silver was selected, so he would come second. Someone questioned the use of the bronze one, this was quickly answered with “its for the other hole, so you come turd”. Dumb was charged again for adding donut oil to the fire, it really wasn’t helping. IC, Disco, Mrs D and Bent Nose were charged for calling trail on the walk, so Lois and Pauline didn’t get lost. Dumb was charged AGAIN, to try to keep him away from the fire. There was then another joke about Dumb going to a seminar about the paranormal. People were asked, who believes in ghosts, lots of hands went up. Who’s seen a ghost, a few hands went up. When asked if anyone has had sex with ghost, Dumb’s hand went up. When questioned further, he explained, Oh I thought you said goat. Bad Hair Day updated us on Jill, saying that she was back to normal. Wow, good recovery! But No, she is just going home to normal and her recovery is still a work in progress. People Pleaser was talking with Exit and they scored charges, because she thought his name was People Teaser. Talking more about fire accelerants, we were told that diesel was used earlier or was it distillate. Pauline was charged for stealing Shafted mining related stubby holder and Jus Cum was charged for not worrying about getting lost on trail. Wee Problem was charged for not being in the circle, while she was fking cooking. Exit scored the last down down.
Next weeks run will be hosted by Dumb’n’dumber from the Park Hotel, because Nummy will be away.
Final announcement is a reminder for anyone yet to pay for our Mitiamo weekend. Give $65 cash to Nutcracker ASAP.
On On
Sunday, November 9, 2025
RUN 2281 – Lois & Pauline – Remembrance Run – Monday 10th November 2025
Well, I’d like to begin by expressing my disappointment for the lack of scribe last week while I took a well-earned break. Despite giving advance notice of my intended absence and finding a fill-in, that also did not turn up (not my fault), there was no fill-in scribe. So now, there is no blog for last weeks Melbourne Cup committee run.
This week, a single welcome back was awarded to No Name. Sniffy runs of note went to No Name on 11 and Cinderella on 101. We also gave James (our new, younger and better Renob look alike) a drink here for his first run.
Mountie’s screw began with a welcome to the arrow dome and a reading from her bible. There was a declaration that Pauline lost had lost his shit, we had 3 drink stops, champagne floats with ice-cream, little boys and the usual beers. Some may say this was a bit over the top! Mountie told us a story about Pauline and Lois and how that since they have moved house, they have taken up golf. However, Pauline ended up in emergency with concussion. Somehow, during golf, he’d hit a ball and due to his big slice, the ball went into a paddock of cows. Looking around for the ball, it was found to have landed up the arse of a cow. Mountie told us that Lois and Pauline had to call on relatives for flour and chalk, having discarded all their own in the move. The military past of Lois and Pauline was recognised and in our version of Remembrance Day, Lois read out our Sovereign Hash role of Honour for our fallen comrades: Wilbur, Midnight, Russell up the Publican, Heavy, Half-a-bra, Big Balls, Crunt, Drop Kick, Sorry, Glider, SS, Pussy and Arso.
Our Sargeant NBCL stepped up and told us that Mastabait and Half-a-Bar were at the bar and happened to see someone they recognised. When asked if they remembered who they were, Half-A-Bar replied “no”. But Mastabait said “You’re Gang Bang”. In another races story, Pus Bucket and Spartacus were hanging our together and were asked by some hot girls “do you like cock?”, as they thought they were together. Mrs Dickhead charged her offspring, who had all attended Metallica on Sat, where half of the team spewed, not Precious or Mrs Dickhead. Pink Pits charged Disco for sending photos of a groomsman, but for not being able to remember how he got home. Since we had taken over the Cattleyards smoking area, two of the local ladies were given a down, down. Rowdy and Bent Nose had been for a bike ride and thought they might check out Lois and Pauline’s new place, but even though it was 8.45am, no one was about to open the gate at the lifestyle village. Shafted was charged for driving across the road to the Drink Stop and Cinderella was charged for complaining that there was nothing worse than wet socks, even though it was suggested that this might be a common occurrence.
Next weeks run will be hosted by Donuts. The run will start from the end of State Forest Road and the on after will be at Donuts place, 629 Post Office Road, Ross Creek.
We finished up with an announcement for our upcoming Mitiamo weekend, 28-30th November. Nutcracker needs numbers and money ($65 cash only) ASAP.
On On
This week, a single welcome back was awarded to No Name. Sniffy runs of note went to No Name on 11 and Cinderella on 101. We also gave James (our new, younger and better Renob look alike) a drink here for his first run.
Mountie’s screw began with a welcome to the arrow dome and a reading from her bible. There was a declaration that Pauline lost had lost his shit, we had 3 drink stops, champagne floats with ice-cream, little boys and the usual beers. Some may say this was a bit over the top! Mountie told us a story about Pauline and Lois and how that since they have moved house, they have taken up golf. However, Pauline ended up in emergency with concussion. Somehow, during golf, he’d hit a ball and due to his big slice, the ball went into a paddock of cows. Looking around for the ball, it was found to have landed up the arse of a cow. Mountie told us that Lois and Pauline had to call on relatives for flour and chalk, having discarded all their own in the move. The military past of Lois and Pauline was recognised and in our version of Remembrance Day, Lois read out our Sovereign Hash role of Honour for our fallen comrades: Wilbur, Midnight, Russell up the Publican, Heavy, Half-a-bra, Big Balls, Crunt, Drop Kick, Sorry, Glider, SS, Pussy and Arso.
Our Sargeant NBCL stepped up and told us that Mastabait and Half-a-Bar were at the bar and happened to see someone they recognised. When asked if they remembered who they were, Half-A-Bar replied “no”. But Mastabait said “You’re Gang Bang”. In another races story, Pus Bucket and Spartacus were hanging our together and were asked by some hot girls “do you like cock?”, as they thought they were together. Mrs Dickhead charged her offspring, who had all attended Metallica on Sat, where half of the team spewed, not Precious or Mrs Dickhead. Pink Pits charged Disco for sending photos of a groomsman, but for not being able to remember how he got home. Since we had taken over the Cattleyards smoking area, two of the local ladies were given a down, down. Rowdy and Bent Nose had been for a bike ride and thought they might check out Lois and Pauline’s new place, but even though it was 8.45am, no one was about to open the gate at the lifestyle village. Shafted was charged for driving across the road to the Drink Stop and Cinderella was charged for complaining that there was nothing worse than wet socks, even though it was suggested that this might be a common occurrence.
Next weeks run will be hosted by Donuts. The run will start from the end of State Forest Road and the on after will be at Donuts place, 629 Post Office Road, Ross Creek.
We finished up with an announcement for our upcoming Mitiamo weekend, 28-30th November. Nutcracker needs numbers and money ($65 cash only) ASAP.
On On
Sunday, October 26, 2025
RUN 2279 – Fascinator – Stag Hotel Learmonth – Halloween theme – Monday 27th October 2025
This week we were introduced to TOT’s. What’s a TOT? Fitting in with this weeks theme, a TOT was a trick or treat, and there were 2 TOTs on trail, although not everyone found their way to both of them. At a TOT, we were presented with mystery shots from trick or treat labelled bottles, adding to the fun on trail. I’d also like to thank those that made an effort to dress to the Halloween theme.
Welcomes backs were awarded to Shafted, Boner, Fascinator, Donuts and Deep Heat. I also think that Rowdy should have been called up, but he was not on the list. There were no sniffy run numbers, so those that do not record numbers were awarded a down down, this included Spartacus and Deep Heat. This caused some discussion about whether numbers should be recorded for bar flies. I don’t think we came to any resolution about this. In an addendum, Mastabait was charged for 1669 runs and Jus Cum for 282 runs.
Rowdy was this weeks surprise screw. Rowdy compared Fascinators run to Half-a-bar’s runs. Same same, but different (yes, the run went up the really big hill again). There was pink chalk to annoy Rowdy and not too much of it to show where to go. The freezing temperature was noted, making Learmonth’s lakeside rotunda the coldest place in the region to have a drink stop. The Great Northerns supplied at the drink stop were made up for by a few bottles of wine to share. Birthday charges were given to Fascinator and also to Rowdy, for his missed birthday on the 4th Oct. This led to a rebound charge to Precious for missing this occasion.
Sergeant NBCL entertained us with a story about Deep Heat’s uncle who had lost both his legs. He was given a job as a security guard at a factory, but one day there was a fire. NBCL lost the plot at this point but was able to eventually regain his composure to deliver the punchline. The factory was saved, but the uncle burnt to the ground. The next story was about Bent Nose’s wife, who had bought a new dress. While trying it on, she asked if it was too low at the front. He asked her if she had a hairy chest, and she replied, no. Bent then told her that it was definitely too low. Rowdy was charged again for forgetting to tell D&C when his birthday was, when she gives him a ride to hash every week. Dumb was charged for trying to get fit. He’d gone to the gym and asked if he could be taught to do the splits. The instructor responded, well it depends how flexible you are. Dumb answered, that he could come on Tuesdays and Fridays. The Nuts were charged for being amorous and doing it doggy style. A car horn beeped and NBCL ran under the house (visual gag, NBCL had a fake head injury for his Halloween costume). Deep Heat told us a Billy Connolly joke, that went something like this. While walking to buy a newspaper, he saw a board for a talent quest. Lined up to enter the talent quest was a boy, Simon and his uncle in a chair who had no legs. The uncle was a famous glassier, who while putting in a big window, was injured when a gust of wind caused the pane of glass to slip and cut off his legs. When asked what their act was for the talent quest, he answered, “we sing, we’re Simon and half uncle”. Lois was charged for missing the second TOT on the walk, which led to a charge for Bent Nose for being pedantic. Fascinator was charged for f@#king up and giving the walk instructions to Bent Nose. Dumb was charged for having a big bone, when Num’s not here and Jus Cum was charged for complaining that she doesn’t like the roll back song, she was also charged for her costume, not hideous at all, she was looking better than ever. Donuts charged Fascinator for his Halloween fingers and teeth lollies, and Half-A-bar was charged for adding his keys to the table. Half-a-bar took 3 down downs, keeping in mind that we had the tiniest down down tankards I’ve ever seen, almost thimble sized. We still had so many down downs left, so we had an everyone charge almost finish them off. Precious, and NBCL were given the last charges. Precious tipped his beer down his mask as there was no way for him to drink with it on.
Next weeks run will be our Melbourne Cup event. There will be fashions on the field and horse races. It will be hosted from the Golden Point cricket club rooms.
An announcement was made for someone to take on the following run on the 10th Nov, as Donuts can’t do it, and he will now be doing his run on the 17th November. PS, I now see that Lois and Pauline have kindly offered to do the run on the 10th Nov, but this means we have another gap. Can someone to step in and set a run on the 8th Dec?
On On
Welcomes backs were awarded to Shafted, Boner, Fascinator, Donuts and Deep Heat. I also think that Rowdy should have been called up, but he was not on the list. There were no sniffy run numbers, so those that do not record numbers were awarded a down down, this included Spartacus and Deep Heat. This caused some discussion about whether numbers should be recorded for bar flies. I don’t think we came to any resolution about this. In an addendum, Mastabait was charged for 1669 runs and Jus Cum for 282 runs.
Rowdy was this weeks surprise screw. Rowdy compared Fascinators run to Half-a-bar’s runs. Same same, but different (yes, the run went up the really big hill again). There was pink chalk to annoy Rowdy and not too much of it to show where to go. The freezing temperature was noted, making Learmonth’s lakeside rotunda the coldest place in the region to have a drink stop. The Great Northerns supplied at the drink stop were made up for by a few bottles of wine to share. Birthday charges were given to Fascinator and also to Rowdy, for his missed birthday on the 4th Oct. This led to a rebound charge to Precious for missing this occasion.
Sergeant NBCL entertained us with a story about Deep Heat’s uncle who had lost both his legs. He was given a job as a security guard at a factory, but one day there was a fire. NBCL lost the plot at this point but was able to eventually regain his composure to deliver the punchline. The factory was saved, but the uncle burnt to the ground. The next story was about Bent Nose’s wife, who had bought a new dress. While trying it on, she asked if it was too low at the front. He asked her if she had a hairy chest, and she replied, no. Bent then told her that it was definitely too low. Rowdy was charged again for forgetting to tell D&C when his birthday was, when she gives him a ride to hash every week. Dumb was charged for trying to get fit. He’d gone to the gym and asked if he could be taught to do the splits. The instructor responded, well it depends how flexible you are. Dumb answered, that he could come on Tuesdays and Fridays. The Nuts were charged for being amorous and doing it doggy style. A car horn beeped and NBCL ran under the house (visual gag, NBCL had a fake head injury for his Halloween costume). Deep Heat told us a Billy Connolly joke, that went something like this. While walking to buy a newspaper, he saw a board for a talent quest. Lined up to enter the talent quest was a boy, Simon and his uncle in a chair who had no legs. The uncle was a famous glassier, who while putting in a big window, was injured when a gust of wind caused the pane of glass to slip and cut off his legs. When asked what their act was for the talent quest, he answered, “we sing, we’re Simon and half uncle”. Lois was charged for missing the second TOT on the walk, which led to a charge for Bent Nose for being pedantic. Fascinator was charged for f@#king up and giving the walk instructions to Bent Nose. Dumb was charged for having a big bone, when Num’s not here and Jus Cum was charged for complaining that she doesn’t like the roll back song, she was also charged for her costume, not hideous at all, she was looking better than ever. Donuts charged Fascinator for his Halloween fingers and teeth lollies, and Half-A-bar was charged for adding his keys to the table. Half-a-bar took 3 down downs, keeping in mind that we had the tiniest down down tankards I’ve ever seen, almost thimble sized. We still had so many down downs left, so we had an everyone charge almost finish them off. Precious, and NBCL were given the last charges. Precious tipped his beer down his mask as there was no way for him to drink with it on.
Next weeks run will be our Melbourne Cup event. There will be fashions on the field and horse races. It will be hosted from the Golden Point cricket club rooms.
An announcement was made for someone to take on the following run on the 10th Nov, as Donuts can’t do it, and he will now be doing his run on the 17th November. PS, I now see that Lois and Pauline have kindly offered to do the run on the 10th Nov, but this means we have another gap. Can someone to step in and set a run on the 8th Dec?
On On
Sunday, October 19, 2025
RUN 2278 – SOS – 441 Doveton St Nth, Soldiers Hill – Monday 20th October 2025
At the house of SOS, we welcomed back, No-name, Dim Wit, Nair, Her Vaj, Fop, Billy and SOS. This was followed by our Sniffy runs, that were awarded to Campaspe on 272 Immaculate Conception on 191, Cinderella on 100, Wee problem for her 100 runs a few weeks ago, and Dumb & Dumber because we missed his 1450 run. Cinderella and Wee Problem were awarded 100 Run T-shirts and pewter mugs, but Wee Problems shirt was printed several years ago in anticipation of this event, with the design dating back to Pus Buckets reign.
Nutcracker was our surprise screw this week. She claimed to have never screwed before and was lost for words. Our hare SOS was also absent as he was busy in the kitchen. SOS arrived in time for us to regale him with “Shitty Trail”.
Sergeant NBCL entertained us with a story about Dim Wit, who was having a tumultuous period of time at home, after finding his wife in bed with another man. He grabbed his gun and led the man to his back shed. He didn’t shoot him, but told him to put his dick in the vice and tighten it. He was afraid that Dim Wit was going to ask him to cut it off, but no, instead he was told that he was burning the shed down. NBCL, aka Nut Bush City Clicker, was asked by Dim Wit to name his 3 favourite kings. As predicted, his answers were Smoking, drinking and fucking. The penis glass was filled and presented to SOS. After stroking it, he downed it in one foul swoop. Since this was the first attendance for SOS with Precious as our GM, he was also presented with his committee T-shirt, as our Religious Advisor for this year. Bent Nose and Half-a-bar were charged, as our representative Jews. We then had a story about Jus Cum. Spartacus had grabbed her ass and said if you firm that up, you’ll get some action. Next, he grabbed her tits and commented that if she firmed them up, she could get some action. In response Jus Cum grabbed his goolies and told Spartacus that if he could firm that up, she could get rid of the gardener, postman and pool boy. Spencer Hocking was charged for sending his wife to the Louvre to case the joint. Billy (still learning) was charged for sitting in circle, even though his excuse was that he had to stand up all day at work. After 4 Down downs, he scored a few more, for his T-shirt tribute to kiss and again for his lack of hash gear. I hope he wasn’t driving home. Jus Cum was charged for asking for the door to be closed as she was getting cold, when Pauline was blacking the cold breeze anyway. Billy was charged, again, for still not drinking his down down at the right time and this left one last drink. Her Vaj said it was bad planning to have one drink left, so she was the one left to drink alone.
Next weeks run will hosted by Fascinator from The Stag Hotel in Learmonth, with a Halloween theme.
On On
Nutcracker was our surprise screw this week. She claimed to have never screwed before and was lost for words. Our hare SOS was also absent as he was busy in the kitchen. SOS arrived in time for us to regale him with “Shitty Trail”.
Sergeant NBCL entertained us with a story about Dim Wit, who was having a tumultuous period of time at home, after finding his wife in bed with another man. He grabbed his gun and led the man to his back shed. He didn’t shoot him, but told him to put his dick in the vice and tighten it. He was afraid that Dim Wit was going to ask him to cut it off, but no, instead he was told that he was burning the shed down. NBCL, aka Nut Bush City Clicker, was asked by Dim Wit to name his 3 favourite kings. As predicted, his answers were Smoking, drinking and fucking. The penis glass was filled and presented to SOS. After stroking it, he downed it in one foul swoop. Since this was the first attendance for SOS with Precious as our GM, he was also presented with his committee T-shirt, as our Religious Advisor for this year. Bent Nose and Half-a-bar were charged, as our representative Jews. We then had a story about Jus Cum. Spartacus had grabbed her ass and said if you firm that up, you’ll get some action. Next, he grabbed her tits and commented that if she firmed them up, she could get some action. In response Jus Cum grabbed his goolies and told Spartacus that if he could firm that up, she could get rid of the gardener, postman and pool boy. Spencer Hocking was charged for sending his wife to the Louvre to case the joint. Billy (still learning) was charged for sitting in circle, even though his excuse was that he had to stand up all day at work. After 4 Down downs, he scored a few more, for his T-shirt tribute to kiss and again for his lack of hash gear. I hope he wasn’t driving home. Jus Cum was charged for asking for the door to be closed as she was getting cold, when Pauline was blacking the cold breeze anyway. Billy was charged, again, for still not drinking his down down at the right time and this left one last drink. Her Vaj said it was bad planning to have one drink left, so she was the one left to drink alone.
Next weeks run will hosted by Fascinator from The Stag Hotel in Learmonth, with a Halloween theme.
On On
Sunday, October 12, 2025
RUN 2277 – Mrs Dickhead and Immaculate Conception – Scout Hall, Recreation Rd Mount Clear – Monday 13th October 2025
As usual, we began with welcomes back that went to Doodlenuts and to D&C. However, D&C said she was here last week so that’s a no to the welcome back. Sniffy runs were awarded to D&C on 404, NBCL on 262 and Cinderella on 99.
Our illustrious GM began by noting all the missing committee members. With neither of our 2 grog masters, he called for Disco to fill in. With no screw, and our usual fill in screw being the hare, the backup fill in Shafted was also absent, so he called for People Pleaser to fill in. After being thrown under the bus for this one, we were told that there was a run, there was a brief pause and we began singing shitty trail. End of screw. On a positive note, we were told this meant that we get to the food quicker.
Sergeant NBCL told us a story of Cris Cross the teacher. A student kept putting their hand in his beard, when asked to stop, we were told that the school had run out of toilet paper. Next, we heard a story about Carpet burns doing a tour of her mental health clinic. My notes here were a bit rough, but there was something about a guy pretending to drive past in a fancy car, thinking he’s got a Ferrari, but please don’t correct him, as she is being paid an extra $20 to clean it. We then talked about the changing rules where the young ones are being booted off social media. But don’t worry, if you don’t see the Facebook post you can just ask renob, he’ll tell you where next weeks run is.
After Immaculate Conceptions massive burp, he was given a hashy birthday charge. Mrs Dickhead’s birthday will be next Monday, but since she’s not going to be here, she also scored a hashy birthday charge. Dumb was charged for talking about medication and Bent Nose was charged for being a pedantic prick, correcting the terminology to during the run, not from the run. Dumb was charged again for shortcutting the walk. This rebound to IC, who also short cut his own walk. Bad hair day was charged for the nearby Jim’s mowing truck, he was given the best trim charge. People pleaser was charged for not knowing how to do a hash screw. IC was then caught mixing up Bad Hair Day and Bent nose, his excuse was that they are both old c@%ts. We were given an update on Jill, after her accident. She is out of intensive care and seems to be doing better, which is really good news. Normal is not going to be here for a few weeks, while she is in hospital in Melbourne. The final charge went to all the Collingwood supporters, Campaspe, Cris Cross, Pebbles, Carpet Burns and Nutcracker.
Miti weekend announcement: Please let Nutcracker know if you are coming, if she doesn’t already know. The theme this year is “Resurrection”, come as your favourite dead person. Miti weekend will be the last weekend in November, starting Friday 28th Nov to Sunday 30th Nov.
Next weeks run will hosted by SOS from his place at 441 Doveton St Nth, Soldiers Hill.
On On
Our illustrious GM began by noting all the missing committee members. With neither of our 2 grog masters, he called for Disco to fill in. With no screw, and our usual fill in screw being the hare, the backup fill in Shafted was also absent, so he called for People Pleaser to fill in. After being thrown under the bus for this one, we were told that there was a run, there was a brief pause and we began singing shitty trail. End of screw. On a positive note, we were told this meant that we get to the food quicker.
Sergeant NBCL told us a story of Cris Cross the teacher. A student kept putting their hand in his beard, when asked to stop, we were told that the school had run out of toilet paper. Next, we heard a story about Carpet burns doing a tour of her mental health clinic. My notes here were a bit rough, but there was something about a guy pretending to drive past in a fancy car, thinking he’s got a Ferrari, but please don’t correct him, as she is being paid an extra $20 to clean it. We then talked about the changing rules where the young ones are being booted off social media. But don’t worry, if you don’t see the Facebook post you can just ask renob, he’ll tell you where next weeks run is.
After Immaculate Conceptions massive burp, he was given a hashy birthday charge. Mrs Dickhead’s birthday will be next Monday, but since she’s not going to be here, she also scored a hashy birthday charge. Dumb was charged for talking about medication and Bent Nose was charged for being a pedantic prick, correcting the terminology to during the run, not from the run. Dumb was charged again for shortcutting the walk. This rebound to IC, who also short cut his own walk. Bad hair day was charged for the nearby Jim’s mowing truck, he was given the best trim charge. People pleaser was charged for not knowing how to do a hash screw. IC was then caught mixing up Bad Hair Day and Bent nose, his excuse was that they are both old c@%ts. We were given an update on Jill, after her accident. She is out of intensive care and seems to be doing better, which is really good news. Normal is not going to be here for a few weeks, while she is in hospital in Melbourne. The final charge went to all the Collingwood supporters, Campaspe, Cris Cross, Pebbles, Carpet Burns and Nutcracker.
Miti weekend announcement: Please let Nutcracker know if you are coming, if she doesn’t already know. The theme this year is “Resurrection”, come as your favourite dead person. Miti weekend will be the last weekend in November, starting Friday 28th Nov to Sunday 30th Nov.
Next weeks run will hosted by SOS from his place at 441 Doveton St Nth, Soldiers Hill.
On On
Sunday, October 5, 2025
RUN 2276 – Daylight Savings Run - Rowdy – Five Ways – Monday 6th October 2025
This weeks circle at Five Ways began with a request to explain, how do you do it five ways? Welcomes backs were awarded to Pebbles, Bad Hair Day and Donuts. While sniffy runs went to Pauline on 444, Head Hunter on 282 and Precious on 353.
Our stand in screw this week was Shafted. He began by telling us that he had arrived slightly late in his ute, as he was asked to bring the trestle tables for our gathering and some illumination for the event. Rowdy, still not driving, also needed Kathy to help him come out to the bush to set the run. Shafted continued rambling on about Anglesea, which was adjacent to side sea. Rowdy set a traditional bush run, although Shafted missed some of the run, he said it was a f@#king beautiful run and that he had taken a shafted shortcut and swam across the lake to find trail. The walk was similarly set in the bush, and we all know Mountie loves a bush run, what a shame that she’s not here.
NBCL began by calling on the birthday boy (Dumb & Dumber) to step forward. NBCL told us about his time travelling with Dumb. They had shared a room together when travelling overseas and during a visit to the night market, they purchased a brush with big bristles to help solve their clogged toilet issues. When asked what he thought of the new brush, Dumb responded with “it’s ok, but I think I’ll go back to using paper”. Next, we had a story featuring Half-a-Bar and Cris Cross. They are both known to enjoy the great outdoors and happened upon a sheep stuck in a fence. Half-a-bar parked the car and said he knew what to do. After he pulled his pants up, he asked Cris Cross if he wanted a go? He responded with Nah, I can’t get my head in there.
Lois Lane scored the first charge for a recent message from her daughter Jaimee who had been clipping her daughter Grace’s nails. Grace wanted to know if they had nail clippers in the old days. When she didn’t know the answer, Grace told her to ask her Mum. Lois was charged again for offering fire starters to help start the fire, but these were still no use as no one at that point had matches or lighter. It was noted that there were many hashers in the over 60 age group. Teflon resembled that remark and People Pleaser was charged for now looking as old as the rest. Jus Cum was charged for being worried that Campaspe and Pink Bits had fallen behind on the run. Mrs D stopped to phone them, to check in, but Jus Cum took off ahead, obviously not too worried. It was noted that this is a running club and a drinking club, which leads to a full bladders club, and that sometimes bladders need to be relieved. Lois and Pauline were charged for their new house called “Merino” and despite downsizing pre move, they still have too much stuff. They bought along two lovely camp chairs, anyone want a chair? A call was made to make them an offer. Half-a-bar was called out for his lack of eloquence, his response was “bull f@#kin shit”. Pebbles also told us that he grew up in a town called Merino. I might mention that I live in Merino Drive and Half-a-bar is all about merino’s. Merino’s everywhere! Shafted was called out, as he should recognise Pebbles. Teflon scored a rebound charge and Pebbles was charged because every man here has gotten wood. Jus Cum and Wee Problem were charged for fiddling with the fire and Half-a-bar was charged and told to stop strobing. Cinderella was charged for bringing wood that was too small, then wood that was too big. We needed goldilocks wood, that was just right. The Bill was mentioned because others parked cars in his spot and the other Bill, Billy was charged in absence, as he asked for the location, but didn’t show up. Dumb was charged as we remembered when he bellied out his car here. Wee Problem was charged again for her obsession with fire. This led to talk of burning bush and how Rear Entry comes from behind. Wee Problem and her fiery bush was followed by a red head charge for Disco, Cinderella and Rowdy. Half-a-bar was charged for something to do with being a Melbourne supporter, and at this point someone spotted that Shafted was sitting in the circle. We were told that there were only 2 charges left, but Head Hunter was thirsty, so she announced that there was now only one left and I don’t know who got it?
We finished with the announcement of Next Weeks Run which will be set by Mrs Dickhead and Immaculate Conception from the Scout Hall on Recreation Rd in Mount Clear.
After being told about Normal’s wife Jill’s accident, we would also like to send our best wishes to Normal and Jill, with the hope that Jill is making a speedy and full recovery.
On On
Our stand in screw this week was Shafted. He began by telling us that he had arrived slightly late in his ute, as he was asked to bring the trestle tables for our gathering and some illumination for the event. Rowdy, still not driving, also needed Kathy to help him come out to the bush to set the run. Shafted continued rambling on about Anglesea, which was adjacent to side sea. Rowdy set a traditional bush run, although Shafted missed some of the run, he said it was a f@#king beautiful run and that he had taken a shafted shortcut and swam across the lake to find trail. The walk was similarly set in the bush, and we all know Mountie loves a bush run, what a shame that she’s not here.
NBCL began by calling on the birthday boy (Dumb & Dumber) to step forward. NBCL told us about his time travelling with Dumb. They had shared a room together when travelling overseas and during a visit to the night market, they purchased a brush with big bristles to help solve their clogged toilet issues. When asked what he thought of the new brush, Dumb responded with “it’s ok, but I think I’ll go back to using paper”. Next, we had a story featuring Half-a-Bar and Cris Cross. They are both known to enjoy the great outdoors and happened upon a sheep stuck in a fence. Half-a-bar parked the car and said he knew what to do. After he pulled his pants up, he asked Cris Cross if he wanted a go? He responded with Nah, I can’t get my head in there.
Lois Lane scored the first charge for a recent message from her daughter Jaimee who had been clipping her daughter Grace’s nails. Grace wanted to know if they had nail clippers in the old days. When she didn’t know the answer, Grace told her to ask her Mum. Lois was charged again for offering fire starters to help start the fire, but these were still no use as no one at that point had matches or lighter. It was noted that there were many hashers in the over 60 age group. Teflon resembled that remark and People Pleaser was charged for now looking as old as the rest. Jus Cum was charged for being worried that Campaspe and Pink Bits had fallen behind on the run. Mrs D stopped to phone them, to check in, but Jus Cum took off ahead, obviously not too worried. It was noted that this is a running club and a drinking club, which leads to a full bladders club, and that sometimes bladders need to be relieved. Lois and Pauline were charged for their new house called “Merino” and despite downsizing pre move, they still have too much stuff. They bought along two lovely camp chairs, anyone want a chair? A call was made to make them an offer. Half-a-bar was called out for his lack of eloquence, his response was “bull f@#kin shit”. Pebbles also told us that he grew up in a town called Merino. I might mention that I live in Merino Drive and Half-a-bar is all about merino’s. Merino’s everywhere! Shafted was called out, as he should recognise Pebbles. Teflon scored a rebound charge and Pebbles was charged because every man here has gotten wood. Jus Cum and Wee Problem were charged for fiddling with the fire and Half-a-bar was charged and told to stop strobing. Cinderella was charged for bringing wood that was too small, then wood that was too big. We needed goldilocks wood, that was just right. The Bill was mentioned because others parked cars in his spot and the other Bill, Billy was charged in absence, as he asked for the location, but didn’t show up. Dumb was charged as we remembered when he bellied out his car here. Wee Problem was charged again for her obsession with fire. This led to talk of burning bush and how Rear Entry comes from behind. Wee Problem and her fiery bush was followed by a red head charge for Disco, Cinderella and Rowdy. Half-a-bar was charged for something to do with being a Melbourne supporter, and at this point someone spotted that Shafted was sitting in the circle. We were told that there were only 2 charges left, but Head Hunter was thirsty, so she announced that there was now only one left and I don’t know who got it?
We finished with the announcement of Next Weeks Run which will be set by Mrs Dickhead and Immaculate Conception from the Scout Hall on Recreation Rd in Mount Clear.
After being told about Normal’s wife Jill’s accident, we would also like to send our best wishes to Normal and Jill, with the hope that Jill is making a speedy and full recovery.
On On
Sunday, September 28, 2025
RUN 2275 – Committee Run in memory of SS – Trout Hatchery Gillies St and on after at Eureka Bistro – Monday 29th September 2025
Thanks to the volunteers at the Trout Hatchery for the talk, movie and tour of their facilities. Sovereign H3 was able to donate $200 to the hatchery, in memory of SS.
The circle took place in the nearby “Shafted’s rotunda”. It was noted that SS loved a rotunda. Welcomes backs were awarded to Fang, Fascinator, Shafted, Cat Flaps, Wee Problem, Big Dog and Carpet Burns. Sniffy runs of mentions were Campaspe on 269, Cat Flaps on 18, Nutcracker on 404, Pink Bits on 171 and Mountie on 1515.
Mountie stepped forward to screw this run, that was set by Precious and IC. She began by quoting Matthew 1417, saying that they were under prepared and overly optimistic. The marked trail was a bit of a cock up and shared similarities with finding fish. Trail markings were slim, and at many times the trail setter was out the front. After passing the prisoner of war memorial, there were questions about whether SS was a war hero. The screw finished with the analogy of the few fish that were seen floating in ponds, just like some of our old hashers that show up but are not moving well and are also nearly dead.
NBCL began by charging Mastabait for changing allegiances. NBCL then told us a story about the end of world. Bent Nose was asked what he would do if the world was about to end in 3 min. His answer was “F#@k everything that moves”. So NBCL stayed very still.
Num Num charged Spencer Hocking, who met her son in the toilets at the MCG. No assault was recorded, but there was mention of being well-endowed. Pink Bits and Wee Problem were charged for being the only ones young enough to have their eggs stripped. We next talked about “Shafted’s pavilion”, and we heard that the incident that resulted in this naming, may have been contributed to by driving with no lights on. Cinderella was next, being charged for driving while doing their shoelaces up. Relating to earlier, there was a well-endowed charge, Spencer called for a substitute. Squizzy quickly offered, but stepped aside and Cinderella stepped up, and skulled from the giant penis glass. There was a call to watch out for the ball rush. Mrs Dickhead was charged for her efforts to get us a tour of the trout hatchery. Of course this was followed by comments of the fishy smell, and assumptions that this week there were a lot of females in attendance. Pus Bucket charged Disco for the footy loss. Disco was also charged for mention of the colostrum that was in the garden. Oh dear, this is booby milk, not a plant. Perhaps the wrong word was used here? Spartacus was charged for bringing egg cartons, when it was not that kind of hatchery. Head Hunter was given a Hashy birthday charge and Mountie was charged for complaining about there being too many potholes, however, she was not on the road. On a similar theme, Cat flaps was charged for looking for soft dirt for her arthritic knees. The final pity charges went to the Geelong supporters, IC, Cinderella, Precious and Billy.
We finished with the announcement of Next Weeks Run. Next weeks run is the Daylight Savings Run and it will be a bush run. Rowdy will set the run from five ways, where we will also have the on after.
On On
The circle took place in the nearby “Shafted’s rotunda”. It was noted that SS loved a rotunda. Welcomes backs were awarded to Fang, Fascinator, Shafted, Cat Flaps, Wee Problem, Big Dog and Carpet Burns. Sniffy runs of mentions were Campaspe on 269, Cat Flaps on 18, Nutcracker on 404, Pink Bits on 171 and Mountie on 1515.
Mountie stepped forward to screw this run, that was set by Precious and IC. She began by quoting Matthew 1417, saying that they were under prepared and overly optimistic. The marked trail was a bit of a cock up and shared similarities with finding fish. Trail markings were slim, and at many times the trail setter was out the front. After passing the prisoner of war memorial, there were questions about whether SS was a war hero. The screw finished with the analogy of the few fish that were seen floating in ponds, just like some of our old hashers that show up but are not moving well and are also nearly dead.
NBCL began by charging Mastabait for changing allegiances. NBCL then told us a story about the end of world. Bent Nose was asked what he would do if the world was about to end in 3 min. His answer was “F#@k everything that moves”. So NBCL stayed very still.
Num Num charged Spencer Hocking, who met her son in the toilets at the MCG. No assault was recorded, but there was mention of being well-endowed. Pink Bits and Wee Problem were charged for being the only ones young enough to have their eggs stripped. We next talked about “Shafted’s pavilion”, and we heard that the incident that resulted in this naming, may have been contributed to by driving with no lights on. Cinderella was next, being charged for driving while doing their shoelaces up. Relating to earlier, there was a well-endowed charge, Spencer called for a substitute. Squizzy quickly offered, but stepped aside and Cinderella stepped up, and skulled from the giant penis glass. There was a call to watch out for the ball rush. Mrs Dickhead was charged for her efforts to get us a tour of the trout hatchery. Of course this was followed by comments of the fishy smell, and assumptions that this week there were a lot of females in attendance. Pus Bucket charged Disco for the footy loss. Disco was also charged for mention of the colostrum that was in the garden. Oh dear, this is booby milk, not a plant. Perhaps the wrong word was used here? Spartacus was charged for bringing egg cartons, when it was not that kind of hatchery. Head Hunter was given a Hashy birthday charge and Mountie was charged for complaining about there being too many potholes, however, she was not on the road. On a similar theme, Cat flaps was charged for looking for soft dirt for her arthritic knees. The final pity charges went to the Geelong supporters, IC, Cinderella, Precious and Billy.
We finished with the announcement of Next Weeks Run. Next weeks run is the Daylight Savings Run and it will be a bush run. Rowdy will set the run from five ways, where we will also have the on after.
On On
Thursday, September 25, 2025
RUN 2274 - Fop – Downlow Medal night – 18 Sligo St Alfredton – Monday 22nd September 2025
RUN 2274 - Fop – Downlow Medal night – 18 Sligo St Alfredton – Monday 22nd September 2025
See post from Fop regarding all the results of the Downlow medal vote count. And….the winner of the Downlow medal was….Precious. Along with the medal, Precious scored a drink from the giant penis glass. This week, Welcome Backs went to Pauline, Dim Wit, Quick Dick, Head Hunter, Boner, Deep Heat, Num Num, Jus Cum, Spartacus & Spencer Hocking. Next, Sniffy runs of mention went to Dumb & Dumber on 1448, Num Num on 848, Disco on 88, Teflon on 424 and Fop on 484.
Moving on to the screw, Mountie quoted revelations 218, talking about the cowardly vile layers and Collingwood supporters, so all the Collingwood supporters scored a drink including, Pus Bucket, Cris Cross, Rowdy, Nutcracker and me. Next, there was something about the cat and the mouse to the lion or is the lion the mouse to the cat. This weeks run was noted to have toured 4 local footy grounds and there were several times when the walkers merged with the runners. Another footy reference, at our half time we’ve got Big Dog not Snoop Dog. Of course, Nutcracker piped up to say, “he’s not here”, so as you can expect, Nutcracker scored a down down.
Our Sergeant, NBCL, was about to begin, but was called to stand down, because Dim Wit was here. Dim Wit’s joke went like this, what’s the difference between vitamins and hormones? You don’t hear vitamins. Which was followed by, what’s the difference between a gynaecologist and a genealogist? One looks up family trees, the other looks up the family bush. And another one, how do you make a hormone? Kick her in the crutch.
After all these jokes NMCL began by continuing his Sunshine story. The local church had selected a new minister who was quite strict. Four Nuns came forward for confession. The first Nun confessed that she had stared at the crutch of a man. So, she was told to wipe her eyes with holy water. The second Nun confessed that she had grabbed a man’s genitals, so she was told to wash her hands in holy water. The fourth Nun quickly swapped with the third Nun. When questioned why, we were told that she didn’t want to gargle in the holy water after the third Nun washed her ass in it. This resulted in our Religious Advisor, Num Num, getting a drink too.
Continuing our footy themed evening, all the Hawthorn supporters were dragged into the circle of shame. Spartacus, Head Hunter and Quick Dick getting a drink this time. Bent Nose was the next hasher called to the circle, as he had fallen up the step before the run, was seen to later fall down the step and also had to ask for help with the child safety gate. Fop was charged for his tricky house, and for nearly killing Deep Heat with very cold beer. Campaspe was charged for causing all PMT hashers in Port Fairy to miss the 800m final when she accidently changed the channel when trying to turn the volume up. This was followed by, when one Dr drinks, all Drs drink. Fop, Rowdy and Quick Dick joining Campaspe for this one. Mountie was charged for breaking the “what happens on the weekend away, stays on the weekend away” rule. Head Hunter was charged for saying that she was starving, she was so hungry she was ravishing. Precious was charged for taking on more roles at COOCH, he’s now GM, Hash Horn, Downlow medallist and self-appointed Hash gynaecologist. Fop was charged as it was speculated that he may have asked ChatGPT to award the medal to someone related to him. Mountie was charged for noticing that Cris Cross in his blond wig, was resembling Nutcracker, which was made funnier when NBCL agreed. Fop was charged for the appropriateness of his Geelong jumper. The foot on it resembling our Hash logo. I didn’t catch why Mountie scored a charge here but moving on, Cris Cross was charged for his outfit resembling a cross between Darcy Moore and Gandalf. Half-A-Bar was charged for something about being catholic and D&C was charged for her delayed realisation for why Nutcracker was upset by her resemblance to Cris Cross, when he’s got a beard. Fop and Her Vaj were charged next, with some Dick van Dyke humour and for one of the most memorable movies of all time with flying bicycles. Bent Nose got a reverse charge, as he is usually the one saying that visual gags don’t work. We finished with an announcement telling everyone to take care of the step, better late than never.
We finished with the announcement of Next Weeks Run. Next weeks run was scheduled to be set by SS. However, this will now be a committee run, set in memory of SS. The run will begin from the Trout Hatchery in Gillies St. The run will cost $10, including a $5 donation to the Hatchery. On after will be at Eureka Bistro.
On On
Moving on to the screw, Mountie quoted revelations 218, talking about the cowardly vile layers and Collingwood supporters, so all the Collingwood supporters scored a drink including, Pus Bucket, Cris Cross, Rowdy, Nutcracker and me. Next, there was something about the cat and the mouse to the lion or is the lion the mouse to the cat. This weeks run was noted to have toured 4 local footy grounds and there were several times when the walkers merged with the runners. Another footy reference, at our half time we’ve got Big Dog not Snoop Dog. Of course, Nutcracker piped up to say, “he’s not here”, so as you can expect, Nutcracker scored a down down.
Our Sergeant, NBCL, was about to begin, but was called to stand down, because Dim Wit was here. Dim Wit’s joke went like this, what’s the difference between vitamins and hormones? You don’t hear vitamins. Which was followed by, what’s the difference between a gynaecologist and a genealogist? One looks up family trees, the other looks up the family bush. And another one, how do you make a hormone? Kick her in the crutch.
After all these jokes NMCL began by continuing his Sunshine story. The local church had selected a new minister who was quite strict. Four Nuns came forward for confession. The first Nun confessed that she had stared at the crutch of a man. So, she was told to wipe her eyes with holy water. The second Nun confessed that she had grabbed a man’s genitals, so she was told to wash her hands in holy water. The fourth Nun quickly swapped with the third Nun. When questioned why, we were told that she didn’t want to gargle in the holy water after the third Nun washed her ass in it. This resulted in our Religious Advisor, Num Num, getting a drink too.
Continuing our footy themed evening, all the Hawthorn supporters were dragged into the circle of shame. Spartacus, Head Hunter and Quick Dick getting a drink this time. Bent Nose was the next hasher called to the circle, as he had fallen up the step before the run, was seen to later fall down the step and also had to ask for help with the child safety gate. Fop was charged for his tricky house, and for nearly killing Deep Heat with very cold beer. Campaspe was charged for causing all PMT hashers in Port Fairy to miss the 800m final when she accidently changed the channel when trying to turn the volume up. This was followed by, when one Dr drinks, all Drs drink. Fop, Rowdy and Quick Dick joining Campaspe for this one. Mountie was charged for breaking the “what happens on the weekend away, stays on the weekend away” rule. Head Hunter was charged for saying that she was starving, she was so hungry she was ravishing. Precious was charged for taking on more roles at COOCH, he’s now GM, Hash Horn, Downlow medallist and self-appointed Hash gynaecologist. Fop was charged as it was speculated that he may have asked ChatGPT to award the medal to someone related to him. Mountie was charged for noticing that Cris Cross in his blond wig, was resembling Nutcracker, which was made funnier when NBCL agreed. Fop was charged for the appropriateness of his Geelong jumper. The foot on it resembling our Hash logo. I didn’t catch why Mountie scored a charge here but moving on, Cris Cross was charged for his outfit resembling a cross between Darcy Moore and Gandalf. Half-A-Bar was charged for something about being catholic and D&C was charged for her delayed realisation for why Nutcracker was upset by her resemblance to Cris Cross, when he’s got a beard. Fop and Her Vaj were charged next, with some Dick van Dyke humour and for one of the most memorable movies of all time with flying bicycles. Bent Nose got a reverse charge, as he is usually the one saying that visual gags don’t work. We finished with an announcement telling everyone to take care of the step, better late than never.
We finished with the announcement of Next Weeks Run. Next weeks run was scheduled to be set by SS. However, this will now be a committee run, set in memory of SS. The run will begin from the Trout Hatchery in Gillies St. The run will cost $10, including a $5 donation to the Hatchery. On after will be at Eureka Bistro.
On On
Wednesday, September 24, 2025
RUN 2273 Cinderella’s 21st Birthday Ball with run set by Precious and Mrs Dickhead – Royal Mail Hotel – Monday 15th September 2025
RUN 2273 Cinderella’s 21st Birthday Ball with run set by Precious and Mrs Dickhead – Royal Mail Hotel – Monday 15th September 2025
This week we began the circle by acknowledging the Royalty of our venue, which initiated a raucous version of God save the King, much to Mountie’s dismay. Welcomes back went to Fop, Her Vajesty and Fascinator. Next, Sniffy runs were awarded to Spencer Hocking - 1413, Mountie - 1513, Pink Bits - 169, Masterbait – 1666, Precious – 350, Mrs Dickhead – 870, Disco – 87 but the most important one was D&C – 400. A commemorative T-shirt (with the correct number of runs) was presented to D&C to mark this occasion.
Mountie began her screw by berating the young people for not supporting the Republic. She talked about Tiaras and shit. Mountie quoted the Queen of Sheba and told us that she now understood what buggery means. We were told that Mrs Dickhead set this run, but it was also co-hared by Precious. A hasher with one ball was the next topic of discussion, to which D&C predictably said “he’s not here”, so she got the “you’ll do” charge.
NBCL stepped up to tell us the ongoing story of happenings in Sunshine. After last weeks dramatics, the diocese advertised for a new minister. Ten people applied, but the congregation wanted to ensure that there wasn’t a repeat of the issues with the last minister. So, they stripped all the applicants and tied bells to their old fellas. One at a time, they showed them a naked lady and waited to hear the bell ring. There was silence until the last applicant. Ding, ding, ding and the bell fell off. He bent over to pick it up, and all the remaining bells rang. Pus Bucket received the next charge, for his Mamma Mia impersonation or was Liberace missing his shirt. The parents of Cinderella, Fop and Mrs D, scored the next charge, along with the birthday boy, Cinderella, who was 21 today. Fop was awarded a second drink, as it was his birthday the next day. Next, Pink Bits charged IC for not making any dinners for her over her very busy weekend. During this time, IC was said to have eaten KFC, but since she’s not here, Pink Bits, you’ll do. Mountie charged Ding Dong for getting lost on the way to Mount Xavier Golf Course, which is hard to do as there is only one road in, so by association, Pink Bits scored that drink too. Rowdy was next, being charged for trying to out Catholic an O’Halloran and the birthday boy was also charged again. Normal and Half-a-bar were charged with an accompanying safari story about a lion with one eye. This was a visual gag that is difficult to scribe but ended with throwing of stones towards the lion and something about running away. Campaspe was charged for resembling Cinderella’s grandmother, I corrected this to be Aunty Paspe, as I am sometimes referred to by Cinderella. Half-a-Bar was charged with another story about a moral dilemma with 2 buttons, one to kill 1000 Kenyan’s and the other to kill Aussie’s. There were lots of F’s and this ended with the punchline that there was no instruction that any button need to be pushed. Mastabait scored the next charge, as the resident bird expert. When asked what bird the feather that Campaspe was wearing had come from, he answered an Ostrich that had a fight with a blue rinse. While we had not quite reached the end, a cake appeared and all the red heads were charged, Rowdy, Disco and Cinderella taking this one. Someone asked if this was the first 21st at Hash, but no, SOS also had his 21st celebrated at Hash, so Precious took this one, since he was wearing the SOS Hash shirt.
We finished with the announcement of Next Weeks Run. It will be a Brownlow themed event and Fop will be our next Hare. The location will either be the Golden Point Cricket Club Rooms (if their renovations are timely), or otherwise it might be at 18 Sligo St. Stay tuned to email/Facebook for updates. Supporting the Brownlow theme, we are asked to wear footy gear or red-carpet attire.
On On
Mountie began her screw by berating the young people for not supporting the Republic. She talked about Tiaras and shit. Mountie quoted the Queen of Sheba and told us that she now understood what buggery means. We were told that Mrs Dickhead set this run, but it was also co-hared by Precious. A hasher with one ball was the next topic of discussion, to which D&C predictably said “he’s not here”, so she got the “you’ll do” charge.
NBCL stepped up to tell us the ongoing story of happenings in Sunshine. After last weeks dramatics, the diocese advertised for a new minister. Ten people applied, but the congregation wanted to ensure that there wasn’t a repeat of the issues with the last minister. So, they stripped all the applicants and tied bells to their old fellas. One at a time, they showed them a naked lady and waited to hear the bell ring. There was silence until the last applicant. Ding, ding, ding and the bell fell off. He bent over to pick it up, and all the remaining bells rang. Pus Bucket received the next charge, for his Mamma Mia impersonation or was Liberace missing his shirt. The parents of Cinderella, Fop and Mrs D, scored the next charge, along with the birthday boy, Cinderella, who was 21 today. Fop was awarded a second drink, as it was his birthday the next day. Next, Pink Bits charged IC for not making any dinners for her over her very busy weekend. During this time, IC was said to have eaten KFC, but since she’s not here, Pink Bits, you’ll do. Mountie charged Ding Dong for getting lost on the way to Mount Xavier Golf Course, which is hard to do as there is only one road in, so by association, Pink Bits scored that drink too. Rowdy was next, being charged for trying to out Catholic an O’Halloran and the birthday boy was also charged again. Normal and Half-a-bar were charged with an accompanying safari story about a lion with one eye. This was a visual gag that is difficult to scribe but ended with throwing of stones towards the lion and something about running away. Campaspe was charged for resembling Cinderella’s grandmother, I corrected this to be Aunty Paspe, as I am sometimes referred to by Cinderella. Half-a-Bar was charged with another story about a moral dilemma with 2 buttons, one to kill 1000 Kenyan’s and the other to kill Aussie’s. There were lots of F’s and this ended with the punchline that there was no instruction that any button need to be pushed. Mastabait scored the next charge, as the resident bird expert. When asked what bird the feather that Campaspe was wearing had come from, he answered an Ostrich that had a fight with a blue rinse. While we had not quite reached the end, a cake appeared and all the red heads were charged, Rowdy, Disco and Cinderella taking this one. Someone asked if this was the first 21st at Hash, but no, SOS also had his 21st celebrated at Hash, so Precious took this one, since he was wearing the SOS Hash shirt.
We finished with the announcement of Next Weeks Run. It will be a Brownlow themed event and Fop will be our next Hare. The location will either be the Golden Point Cricket Club Rooms (if their renovations are timely), or otherwise it might be at 18 Sligo St. Stay tuned to email/Facebook for updates. Supporting the Brownlow theme, we are asked to wear footy gear or red-carpet attire.
On On
RUN 2272 Faucet – Golf House – Monday 8th September 2025
RUN 2272 Faucet – Golf House – Monday 8th September 2025
Before the run we were informed of the death of Graham Greene. This was then clarified as the actor. We were reassured that our Rear Entry is still very much alive. After the run we began our circle with our welcomes backs that went to Pauline, Pebbles, Bad Hair Day, Big Dog and Bent Nose. Sniffy Runs were then awarded to Faucet on lucky 13, Mrs D on 869 and Billy who dared to return for run number 2.
Mountie began her screw of the run with a homophone, where she explained that she might have go force it. We were then reminded of last night’s blood moon. Our run took us through the cemetery where we saw a magnificent full moon. Cinderella’s fall was mentioned, as were the slightly different trail markings, we saw many tiny round circle’s, just like drips from a faucet. Mountie also complained that the tiny arrows were a bit few and far between.
The next topic that was mentioned was Fascinator’s dentist. At least his teeth are nice and white. NBCL then told us about his dramatic week in Sunshine, where the big bike had been stolen. The local minister preaching to his congregations was talking about the commandments and before he got to, thou shall not steal, he mentioned thou shall not commit adultery. He then remembered where he left the bike. We were then told about Half-a-bar who was having problems with Cecil the ram, not producing. The vet came and gave him a pill, this was successful with rampant producing, but it wore off and the vet was called again. Half-a-bar asked for the same pill, but couldn’t remember the colour or shape, but said that it tasted like aniseed.
Half-a-bar then got the first charge for his earlier conversation with Precious. He’d been saying that our numbers at Hash were pretty good. Precious mentioned that they weren’t so good when everyone was in Vietnam, to which Half-A-Bar said he’s not that old. Mountie was then charged for her impression of the school for the gifted cartoon, she was trying to push the door that said “slide”. Pus bucket was then charged. Mountie explained that she had lost her church hymnal, but Pus Bucket found it at The Millers Arms, when he was there drinking alone. Spartacus was then charged for not joining him. Faucet was charged for questioning early in the run if our hash was ok going through the cemetery, and the run went there anyway. NBCL was then charged for spitting in cemetery. Cinderella was charged for testing a speed bump on trail and Teflon was charged for looking for real estate in the cemetery. Squizzy stepped up to show us that he was now learning another new language, Croatian. Half-a-bar was then asked to swap shirts with Faucet, so he had a local shirt to take back to Broome. Rowdy stepped up and provided a shirt, as he had several with him. Lois and Pauline were then charged, as it was suggested that they might give him something from their garage sale. Jus Cum was then charged for coming back from toilet exhausted and Cris Cross was charged for picking up cans. Bent was charged for something about f#@king the kiwis. The Haberdasher was then charged for Faucet’s chalk H3 on his shirt. Mrs D was then charged for missing the drink stop as she desperately needed a toilet and she went back to the pub, not realising that there was in fact a toilet at the drink stop. Cat Flaps got the last charge, just because, to get rid of the last beer.
We finished with the announcement of Next Weeks Run. Cinderella is having a significant birthday, and we will be having a Ball in her honour at the Royal Mail Hotel. All are requested to wear your best ball gown.
On On
Mountie began her screw of the run with a homophone, where she explained that she might have go force it. We were then reminded of last night’s blood moon. Our run took us through the cemetery where we saw a magnificent full moon. Cinderella’s fall was mentioned, as were the slightly different trail markings, we saw many tiny round circle’s, just like drips from a faucet. Mountie also complained that the tiny arrows were a bit few and far between.
The next topic that was mentioned was Fascinator’s dentist. At least his teeth are nice and white. NBCL then told us about his dramatic week in Sunshine, where the big bike had been stolen. The local minister preaching to his congregations was talking about the commandments and before he got to, thou shall not steal, he mentioned thou shall not commit adultery. He then remembered where he left the bike. We were then told about Half-a-bar who was having problems with Cecil the ram, not producing. The vet came and gave him a pill, this was successful with rampant producing, but it wore off and the vet was called again. Half-a-bar asked for the same pill, but couldn’t remember the colour or shape, but said that it tasted like aniseed.
Half-a-bar then got the first charge for his earlier conversation with Precious. He’d been saying that our numbers at Hash were pretty good. Precious mentioned that they weren’t so good when everyone was in Vietnam, to which Half-A-Bar said he’s not that old. Mountie was then charged for her impression of the school for the gifted cartoon, she was trying to push the door that said “slide”. Pus bucket was then charged. Mountie explained that she had lost her church hymnal, but Pus Bucket found it at The Millers Arms, when he was there drinking alone. Spartacus was then charged for not joining him. Faucet was charged for questioning early in the run if our hash was ok going through the cemetery, and the run went there anyway. NBCL was then charged for spitting in cemetery. Cinderella was charged for testing a speed bump on trail and Teflon was charged for looking for real estate in the cemetery. Squizzy stepped up to show us that he was now learning another new language, Croatian. Half-a-bar was then asked to swap shirts with Faucet, so he had a local shirt to take back to Broome. Rowdy stepped up and provided a shirt, as he had several with him. Lois and Pauline were then charged, as it was suggested that they might give him something from their garage sale. Jus Cum was then charged for coming back from toilet exhausted and Cris Cross was charged for picking up cans. Bent was charged for something about f#@king the kiwis. The Haberdasher was then charged for Faucet’s chalk H3 on his shirt. Mrs D was then charged for missing the drink stop as she desperately needed a toilet and she went back to the pub, not realising that there was in fact a toilet at the drink stop. Cat Flaps got the last charge, just because, to get rid of the last beer.
We finished with the announcement of Next Weeks Run. Cinderella is having a significant birthday, and we will be having a Ball in her honour at the Royal Mail Hotel. All are requested to wear your best ball gown.
On On
Thursday, September 4, 2025
RUN 2271 Teflon – Robin Hood – Monday 1st September 2025
RUN 2271 Teflon – Robin Hood – Monday 1st September 2025
We begin this week with welcomes backs going to Gilf, Squizzy and Wee Problem. Sniffy runs were then awarded to Mrs D on 868, Cat Flaps with sweet 16, Nutcracker for her 400 runs, Quick Dick for his 300 runs and Billy on 1. Commemorative T-shirts were given to Nutcracker and Quick Dick.
In a change to our usual order, we then moved to Next Weeks Run. We were informed that it would not be set by Rear Entry, as per schedule, since he was injured (again). A call was then put out for volunteers to set a run, as we were in urgent need of a fill in hare.
Moving on to our Screw. Mountie asked us to bow our heads as Teflon had provided us with a smorgasbord of young folk and Billy was served his first run. Cat Flaps and Jus Cum were told to take note, as trail this week was well marked and the forecast spring rains did not wipe out trail. It was no surprise that Cinderella stumbled while out on trail and some notable sightings on trail were Forbes St, the Synagogue and a primary school. Mountie then mentioned that Teflon had tried to start his own church but couldn’t get any adherence.
Our sergeant NBCL stepped up and since he didn't make the run, due to missing the train, he was somewhat underprepared this week. Nutcracker was charged as NBCL had been able to convert her to a Forbes. NBCL was then charged for no Hash gear, but he revealed that he had in fact worn his Hash socks to work, so this rebounded to Rowdy. Squizzy was then asked to show us the new languages he has been learning. He began with some German, however, this offended Carpet Burns. Squizzy then demonstrated some Italian which was followed by some Greek. Normal was then charged for something about a 1 min timer and Disco was charged for being late, it was speculated that he was hiding his machete. People Pleaser was charged for his espresso martini, and we were told that it was much better than the amaretto sour he had last week. Pink Bits and IC were charged for their recent romantic trip north to Port Douglas, it was observed that they sadly returned with no rock on Pink Bits finger. Normal was charged for when he was a young apprentice, he filled lots cracks at the Barkly St school. Faucet was then charged for his hometown of Broome. Genitalia and Pizzle are currently in Broome, and have found hash trail on their adventures. Our virgin runner Billy was then called to the front and asked the usual questions. He revealed that he made himself cum. Precious was then charged, as it was noticed that although Nutcracker had reached 400 runs, her commemorative shirt only says 300. Shame! Billy then received another charge as he was heard to ask if we had a song book, he was keen to learn our songs. The final charge went to our GM, Precious. Lois was somewhat dismayed that he gave her a box of hash gear for storage, despite their current downsizing.
As an afternote, Faucet kindly offered to set next weeks run, and while it was a TBA on the night, it has now been announced that the run will be from the Golf House Hotel.
On On
We begin this week with welcomes backs going to Gilf, Squizzy and Wee Problem. Sniffy runs were then awarded to Mrs D on 868, Cat Flaps with sweet 16, Nutcracker for her 400 runs, Quick Dick for his 300 runs and Billy on 1. Commemorative T-shirts were given to Nutcracker and Quick Dick.
In a change to our usual order, we then moved to Next Weeks Run. We were informed that it would not be set by Rear Entry, as per schedule, since he was injured (again). A call was then put out for volunteers to set a run, as we were in urgent need of a fill in hare.
Moving on to our Screw. Mountie asked us to bow our heads as Teflon had provided us with a smorgasbord of young folk and Billy was served his first run. Cat Flaps and Jus Cum were told to take note, as trail this week was well marked and the forecast spring rains did not wipe out trail. It was no surprise that Cinderella stumbled while out on trail and some notable sightings on trail were Forbes St, the Synagogue and a primary school. Mountie then mentioned that Teflon had tried to start his own church but couldn’t get any adherence.
Our sergeant NBCL stepped up and since he didn't make the run, due to missing the train, he was somewhat underprepared this week. Nutcracker was charged as NBCL had been able to convert her to a Forbes. NBCL was then charged for no Hash gear, but he revealed that he had in fact worn his Hash socks to work, so this rebounded to Rowdy. Squizzy was then asked to show us the new languages he has been learning. He began with some German, however, this offended Carpet Burns. Squizzy then demonstrated some Italian which was followed by some Greek. Normal was then charged for something about a 1 min timer and Disco was charged for being late, it was speculated that he was hiding his machete. People Pleaser was charged for his espresso martini, and we were told that it was much better than the amaretto sour he had last week. Pink Bits and IC were charged for their recent romantic trip north to Port Douglas, it was observed that they sadly returned with no rock on Pink Bits finger. Normal was charged for when he was a young apprentice, he filled lots cracks at the Barkly St school. Faucet was then charged for his hometown of Broome. Genitalia and Pizzle are currently in Broome, and have found hash trail on their adventures. Our virgin runner Billy was then called to the front and asked the usual questions. He revealed that he made himself cum. Precious was then charged, as it was noticed that although Nutcracker had reached 400 runs, her commemorative shirt only says 300. Shame! Billy then received another charge as he was heard to ask if we had a song book, he was keen to learn our songs. The final charge went to our GM, Precious. Lois was somewhat dismayed that he gave her a box of hash gear for storage, despite their current downsizing.
As an afternote, Faucet kindly offered to set next weeks run, and while it was a TBA on the night, it has now been announced that the run will be from the Golf House Hotel.
On On
RUN 2270 – Jus Cum – Black Hill Hotel – Monday 25th August 2025
RUN 2270 – Jus Cum – Black Hill Hotel – Monday 25th August 2025
Our GM began the circle this week by being thankful that Spartacus was at bar to tell him where the drink stop was located, as Precious and several hashers had lost trail. We then welcomed back Num Num and Mountie from their trip to Queensland. Sniffy runs this week went to Faucet on 11, NBCL on 282, Quick Dick on 303 and People Pleaser on 21. Lois Lane then sang the “21 today” song to commemorate this occasion.
Mountie began her screw of Jus Cum by wondering if she was also going through a divorce, as she compared this run to last weeks trail, complaining that there was not much chalk or flour, again. Jus Cum claimed that she used 2.5kg flour, but there was little to show for it. She then quoted from her bible, where Judas was late for the last supper, his excuse was that he had “jus cum”. Mountie’s final advise was to take less notice of Spartacus for future trails and this will make the run better. It was also noted that in the absence of Pink Bits, it was a nice touch to use pink chalk when setting the trail.
Our sergeant NBCL then took the floor and began with a few jokes. I missed the finer details of the first joke that was something about Dumb going to a brothel in Darwin and choosing from the menu list on the back wall. The second joke was about Mountie on a terrible flight. There was a dog on the plane that was a trained sniffer dog. The dog checked the bags on the plane and indicated with a paw on the trainers left knee. This meant cocaine. After checking another bag, the dog indicated with a paw on the trainers right knee. This meant heroin. After checking a third bag, the dog shits all over the owner of the bag and the bag. Mountie asks what that means. The trainer says it's because the dog found a bomb. NBCL then asked where’s IC. Mountie answered, so she took the charge. The joke was about IC and Pink Bits, NBCL had been asking about their sex life. After being assured that it was great, he asked if IC had tried any of the other holes nearby. The answer was no, because they can’t afford children yet.
Mountie was then charged again, for being a good catholic girl who went to church for confession before her run. She asked for forgiveness for the sin of vanity, looking in the mirror she was so beautiful. The priest said it wasn’t a sin; it was a mistake. Lois Lane was then charged as was Faucet. At the drink stop several hashers were trying to work out who Shane Bilston was, as he had commented on the Facebook page. It was then discovered that this was Faucet. This was followed by a comment that some hashers have no name, so No Name was charged too. Rowdy then charged Cris Cross as he was talking about washer, but really, he meant Faucet. Mountie then charged Pus Bucket, as earlier in the day on her way back from the airport, she had sent many messages of her travels back to Ballarat. Beginning with, eagle has landed, moving on to passing the Marsh, and then going though Dunnstown. Upon arrival, Dumb was there with flowers for Num Num, but Pus Bucket was still home asleep on the couch and had to be reminded to come and collect poor Mountie, despite her travelling commentary. Mountie was then charged again, as after the plane landed and the engine was turned off, her whining didn’t stop. Mountie, Precious, Quick Dick, Head Hunter, NBCL, Dumb and Lois Lane were then charged for losing trail and arriving at the pub to ask Spartacus where the drink stop was located. Quick Dick was then charged for extreme disrespect to GM. Num and Mountie were charged for their tour of the Scenic Rim. Precious was then charged for getting lost on trail, but when Mrs Dickhead tried to call him using the dickhead group chat, the only ones who answered were IC and Pink Bits, in Queensland. Mountie then charged NBCL. She had asked Pus Bucket to bring her jacket to the drink stop, but it was instead delivered by NBCL. He didn’t hand it to her, just threw it on the ground nearby. Mountie then just happened to find her jacket on the ground near the drink stop. Faucet and No Name scored the final charge, since they were all about the chips at the drink stop.
We finished with the announcement of Next Weeks Run. The run will be set by Teflon and will commence from his home at 10 Taylor Court, Invermay.
On On
RUN 2269 – Cat Flaps – Titanic Bandstand and on after at Eureka Bistro – Monday 18th August 2025
RUN 2269 – Cat Flaps – Titanic Bandstand and on after at Eureka Bistro – Monday 18th August 2025
Well, it was a freezing night, but we gathered in the Titanic bandstand and welcomed back Cinderella, Mastabait, Cris Cross and Donuts. Donuts also had the only sniffy run this week with 888 runs.
Mountie announced in her screw of Cat Flaps that she was the one who got screwed in the divorce, she may have been left with some wine, but she was short on flour and chalk. Mountie also noted that the trail went through the “rape tunnel”, she hung around there for a while, but did not get any action. Mountie could not find any references to cats in the bible but found plenty of references to disasters, and she claimed this run was a disaster.
NBCL then told us a joke about Half-a-bar, Cris Cross and Mastabait. They had all been on holidays. When trying to locate their accommodations, they were told that it was a stone’s throw away from the beach. Then they were told that they could recognise the house as it was the one with broken windows. Half-a-Bar scored another down down as he had been to Canada, but didn’t find a Mountie as good as our Mountie. Lois and Pauline were then charged for selling their home leaving them homeless. Normal was then charged for losing his glasses. Disco scored the next charge for something about the cold preventing an erection. The next charge went to NBCL, who was adjusting on the run and said it was so cold that he now had an inny! The final charge went to Cris Cross, as this freezing temperature was not indicative of climate warming.
We then quickly announced that next weeks run would be set by Jus Cum at a venue TBA.
After moving on to a warmer location at Eureka Pizza Bistro, we managed to drink about 10 bottles of Unwin wines, that were enjoyed by all those that partook. Thanks go to Cat Flaps for donating them to the Sovereign HHH, it was greatly appreciated.
Mountie announced in her screw of Cat Flaps that she was the one who got screwed in the divorce, she may have been left with some wine, but she was short on flour and chalk. Mountie also noted that the trail went through the “rape tunnel”, she hung around there for a while, but did not get any action. Mountie could not find any references to cats in the bible but found plenty of references to disasters, and she claimed this run was a disaster.
NBCL then told us a joke about Half-a-bar, Cris Cross and Mastabait. They had all been on holidays. When trying to locate their accommodations, they were told that it was a stone’s throw away from the beach. Then they were told that they could recognise the house as it was the one with broken windows. Half-a-Bar scored another down down as he had been to Canada, but didn’t find a Mountie as good as our Mountie. Lois and Pauline were then charged for selling their home leaving them homeless. Normal was then charged for losing his glasses. Disco scored the next charge for something about the cold preventing an erection. The next charge went to NBCL, who was adjusting on the run and said it was so cold that he now had an inny! The final charge went to Cris Cross, as this freezing temperature was not indicative of climate warming.
We then quickly announced that next weeks run would be set by Jus Cum at a venue TBA.
After moving on to a warmer location at Eureka Pizza Bistro, we managed to drink about 10 bottles of Unwin wines, that were enjoyed by all those that partook. Thanks go to Cat Flaps for donating them to the Sovereign HHH, it was greatly appreciated.
RUN 2268 – Bent Nose – 110 Pleasant St Sth and on after at Eureka Bistro – Monday 11th August 2025
RUN 2268 – Bent Nose – 110 Pleasant St Sth and on after at Eureka Bistro – Monday 11th August 2025
Our GM was very happy to announce the return of Lois Lane this week. We were then welcomed to home of Isaac, however we were told that we were not allowed inside, this was a shed only welcome. It was then postulated that their hose may be broken, as bird shit was visible on the normally pristine car.
Welcomes Backs went to Lois Lane, Pauline &BP. However, Lois Lane was out of practice as her list was missing two. Lois Lane was charged for her mistake, along with Fawcet & Noname.
Sniffy runs this week went to Campaspe on 262. Spencer then told us that this was the digit sum of 10, which is the digit sum of 1, so Spencer scored a charge too. The other sniffy run went to D&C on 396, which is a 3 and then almost a 69, just flipped around.
The St Kilda supporters scored the next charge, Mountie, Bent Nose & Disco, getting a drink. Bent Nose was then charged for resembling some of the dolls in his garage.
Mountie then screwed Bent Nose. She listed a few appropriate bible quotes and mentioned that we were sniffing around for trail all over the place, with some longer than is typical on backs and large gaps between trail marking.
The glass penis that had been missing the last few weeks made a triumphant return and was delivered by Uber meats. This allowed someone to be charged for making a dick of themselves before the run. Someone found a necklace on the floor with a name on it, only to ask “Who does it belong to?”. Dumb n dumber then had to drink from the beer filled penis. He even spilled some, so bp was charged as she now must clean up the mess.
NBCL then welcomed us back to the Pleasure Dome. He led with a visual gag, opening the roller door to show off Bent’s car. The door then closed, but NBCL returned through the side door. NBCL then talked to us about a seminal book, thinking fast, thinking slow. Normal was then called out the front, but he wasn’t listening, so NBCL added a pretty please. He saw an advertisement in the newspaper for an assistant to a gynaecologist for $200k per year. It required the applicant to shave, prepare and widen the vagina for the gynaecologist. Normal called to get more information about the job and was told to apply in Darwin, as that’s where queue ends.
Lois Lane and Head Hunter scored the next charge, for their admiration of BP’s manicured bush. People Pleaser was then charged, as he and Riley had taken the glass penis home, where it was waiting for a box to be built for it. We are still waiting for the box, but Pink Bits was charged as it was also seen on her car seat. Lois Lane then charged Bent Nose. You can’t pick your in-laws. It was noted that what was once the family tablecloth, was now covering a bike in the shed, disrespecting Lois Lanes childhood. Jus Cum was then charged for driving slow and being easily identifiable, as their van has the company name on it. Head Hunter was then charged for having bush on her mind, admiring many a bush in Newington, so then Quick Dick was charged too. People Pleaser was charged for his late start on the run, where he was seen sprinting up Pleasant St to catch up. Meanwhile Precious was charged for leaving the rest of the runners for dead. NBCL was charged for looking for a man with a horn. Snag also charged for something about the toilet block in Vic Park. Disco was then charged for hiding the cash tin in the sleeve of Precious’s sleeve, this was then a visual gag, where the can finally came out. Bent Nose was then charged for failing to share any of his hand warmers, he has boxes of them in his shed. Rowdy was then the final charge since the Dr fu#@ed him.
We finished with the announcement of Next Weeks Run. The run will be set by Cat Flaps and will commence from the Titanic Bandstand on Sturt St. The on after will then again be at the Eureka Bistro, with the promise of some Unwin wine to be distributed and consumed.
On On
Our GM was very happy to announce the return of Lois Lane this week. We were then welcomed to home of Isaac, however we were told that we were not allowed inside, this was a shed only welcome. It was then postulated that their hose may be broken, as bird shit was visible on the normally pristine car.
Welcomes Backs went to Lois Lane, Pauline &BP. However, Lois Lane was out of practice as her list was missing two. Lois Lane was charged for her mistake, along with Fawcet & Noname.
Sniffy runs this week went to Campaspe on 262. Spencer then told us that this was the digit sum of 10, which is the digit sum of 1, so Spencer scored a charge too. The other sniffy run went to D&C on 396, which is a 3 and then almost a 69, just flipped around.
The St Kilda supporters scored the next charge, Mountie, Bent Nose & Disco, getting a drink. Bent Nose was then charged for resembling some of the dolls in his garage.
Mountie then screwed Bent Nose. She listed a few appropriate bible quotes and mentioned that we were sniffing around for trail all over the place, with some longer than is typical on backs and large gaps between trail marking.
The glass penis that had been missing the last few weeks made a triumphant return and was delivered by Uber meats. This allowed someone to be charged for making a dick of themselves before the run. Someone found a necklace on the floor with a name on it, only to ask “Who does it belong to?”. Dumb n dumber then had to drink from the beer filled penis. He even spilled some, so bp was charged as she now must clean up the mess.
NBCL then welcomed us back to the Pleasure Dome. He led with a visual gag, opening the roller door to show off Bent’s car. The door then closed, but NBCL returned through the side door. NBCL then talked to us about a seminal book, thinking fast, thinking slow. Normal was then called out the front, but he wasn’t listening, so NBCL added a pretty please. He saw an advertisement in the newspaper for an assistant to a gynaecologist for $200k per year. It required the applicant to shave, prepare and widen the vagina for the gynaecologist. Normal called to get more information about the job and was told to apply in Darwin, as that’s where queue ends.
Lois Lane and Head Hunter scored the next charge, for their admiration of BP’s manicured bush. People Pleaser was then charged, as he and Riley had taken the glass penis home, where it was waiting for a box to be built for it. We are still waiting for the box, but Pink Bits was charged as it was also seen on her car seat. Lois Lane then charged Bent Nose. You can’t pick your in-laws. It was noted that what was once the family tablecloth, was now covering a bike in the shed, disrespecting Lois Lanes childhood. Jus Cum was then charged for driving slow and being easily identifiable, as their van has the company name on it. Head Hunter was then charged for having bush on her mind, admiring many a bush in Newington, so then Quick Dick was charged too. People Pleaser was charged for his late start on the run, where he was seen sprinting up Pleasant St to catch up. Meanwhile Precious was charged for leaving the rest of the runners for dead. NBCL was charged for looking for a man with a horn. Snag also charged for something about the toilet block in Vic Park. Disco was then charged for hiding the cash tin in the sleeve of Precious’s sleeve, this was then a visual gag, where the can finally came out. Bent Nose was then charged for failing to share any of his hand warmers, he has boxes of them in his shed. Rowdy was then the final charge since the Dr fu#@ed him.
We finished with the announcement of Next Weeks Run. The run will be set by Cat Flaps and will commence from the Titanic Bandstand on Sturt St. The on after will then again be at the Eureka Bistro, with the promise of some Unwin wine to be distributed and consumed.
On On
RUN 2267 – D&C – Grapes on Grant – Monday 4th August 2025
RUN 2267 – D&C – Grapes on Grant – Monday 4th August 2025
Welcome to the weekly blog of the Sovereign Hash House Harriers, where this week we marked the anniversary of SS’s birthday, with a specially marked SS trail. A letter of thanks from June was read to the circle (see separate post). Bookmarks from SS’s funeral and a bag of SS’s hash tops were then made available to all our hashers.
Without Lois Lane we skipped welcomes backs. Sniffy runs were awarded to Jus Cum on 272 and Boner on 77. Apologies were made to Quick Dick for missing his significant run last week and he scored a drink for reaching 301 runs. Then there was a call for if one retired Dr drinks, all retired Dr drink, I missed the retired bit and stepped forward as I thought it was all Dr’s. Then it got messy, and I got a drink anyway. D&C was then charged 3 drinks for running 3 of her on backs, claiming she forgot they were there.
Mountie then stepped up to screw D&C. Mountie had been told of various significant locations all along the trail that included, the corner of Main Rd and Eureka St, with something about the hydroponic store and the missionary position. We then recognised the yum cha, the timeline in the park, the playground and Short St, as SS was vertically challenged. It was also mentioned that People Pleaser may have had an anal exam from Rowdy on trail. Mountie finished her screw with a couple of relevant biblical quotes.
NBCL then stepped up and began by mentioning that he was disappointed that the Nutbush didn’t make hottest 100 list, but we did have a star in our midst, Jus Cum won the gold Logie. Rowdy was then charged for 6 cases of VD and if one retired Dr drinks, all retired Dr’s drink, so Quick Dick had a drink too. There was then a joke about Normal, who had had a procedure and was told he could not feel anything from the waist down. His response was “just tits then”. Bent Nose was then charged for taking time to decorate his entry in the book, so he could make it easier to find his name. Precious was charged for making Cinderella too tired to come to hash, after blowing a horn all weekend. Disco was charged for being a child prodigy, with something about being a banger, then Spencer was charged for being a child banger too. People pleaser was charged for bringing coffee to Hash, but it wasn’t coffee, it was a hot chocolate. Carpet Burns and Cat Flaps were then charged for sipping red pre run. IC then said better the blood of Christ than the blood of Mary. IC was then charged for inappropriate behaviour at a recent event with children present when INXS was mentioned. All Carlton supporters got the next charge and this included Num Num, Jus Cum and D&C. Bent Nose was charged for trying to be cool wearing his cap backwards, he claimed it was because it was too windy and Mountie was charged too, but I’m not sure why. Normal was then charged for complaining that there was only mid strength beer at the drink stop. IC was charged for conducting out of time, I guess his music teacher was busy with other things. It then scored a drink for living next door to the music teacher. Dumb & Dumber and Teflon were then charged as Cat Flaps had questioned if they were twins. Num Num and Pebbles were then charged for being the worst retirees. Pebbles is now back at work, tutoring and Nummy has retired several times. Bent Nose was then charged for being so lost last week, that he posted photos from Portugal. Final charge went to People Pleaser for channelling Lois Lane, his bum bag resembling Lois’s merkin. We were then reminded that committee shirts were available for those on the committee who haven’t collected one yet.
Next Weeks Run was then announced. Bent Nose will be setting the run. Location TBA
On On
Welcome to the weekly blog of the Sovereign Hash House Harriers, where this week we marked the anniversary of SS’s birthday, with a specially marked SS trail. A letter of thanks from June was read to the circle (see separate post). Bookmarks from SS’s funeral and a bag of SS’s hash tops were then made available to all our hashers.
Without Lois Lane we skipped welcomes backs. Sniffy runs were awarded to Jus Cum on 272 and Boner on 77. Apologies were made to Quick Dick for missing his significant run last week and he scored a drink for reaching 301 runs. Then there was a call for if one retired Dr drinks, all retired Dr drink, I missed the retired bit and stepped forward as I thought it was all Dr’s. Then it got messy, and I got a drink anyway. D&C was then charged 3 drinks for running 3 of her on backs, claiming she forgot they were there.
Mountie then stepped up to screw D&C. Mountie had been told of various significant locations all along the trail that included, the corner of Main Rd and Eureka St, with something about the hydroponic store and the missionary position. We then recognised the yum cha, the timeline in the park, the playground and Short St, as SS was vertically challenged. It was also mentioned that People Pleaser may have had an anal exam from Rowdy on trail. Mountie finished her screw with a couple of relevant biblical quotes.
NBCL then stepped up and began by mentioning that he was disappointed that the Nutbush didn’t make hottest 100 list, but we did have a star in our midst, Jus Cum won the gold Logie. Rowdy was then charged for 6 cases of VD and if one retired Dr drinks, all retired Dr’s drink, so Quick Dick had a drink too. There was then a joke about Normal, who had had a procedure and was told he could not feel anything from the waist down. His response was “just tits then”. Bent Nose was then charged for taking time to decorate his entry in the book, so he could make it easier to find his name. Precious was charged for making Cinderella too tired to come to hash, after blowing a horn all weekend. Disco was charged for being a child prodigy, with something about being a banger, then Spencer was charged for being a child banger too. People pleaser was charged for bringing coffee to Hash, but it wasn’t coffee, it was a hot chocolate. Carpet Burns and Cat Flaps were then charged for sipping red pre run. IC then said better the blood of Christ than the blood of Mary. IC was then charged for inappropriate behaviour at a recent event with children present when INXS was mentioned. All Carlton supporters got the next charge and this included Num Num, Jus Cum and D&C. Bent Nose was charged for trying to be cool wearing his cap backwards, he claimed it was because it was too windy and Mountie was charged too, but I’m not sure why. Normal was then charged for complaining that there was only mid strength beer at the drink stop. IC was charged for conducting out of time, I guess his music teacher was busy with other things. It then scored a drink for living next door to the music teacher. Dumb & Dumber and Teflon were then charged as Cat Flaps had questioned if they were twins. Num Num and Pebbles were then charged for being the worst retirees. Pebbles is now back at work, tutoring and Nummy has retired several times. Bent Nose was then charged for being so lost last week, that he posted photos from Portugal. Final charge went to People Pleaser for channelling Lois Lane, his bum bag resembling Lois’s merkin. We were then reminded that committee shirts were available for those on the committee who haven’t collected one yet.
Next Weeks Run was then announced. Bent Nose will be setting the run. Location TBA
On On
RUN 2266 – Spartacus – Millers Arms Hotel, Howard St Soldiers Hill – Monday 28th July 2025
RUN 2266 – Spartacus – Millers Arms Hotel, Howard St Soldiers Hill – Monday 28th July 2025
This week we began with a charge for Spartacus, for not setting trail up and down the street. Our esteemed GM then continued his struggle without Lois Lane. Welcomes back for awarded to Shafted, Nair, Fawcet & Noname. Sniffy runs then went to Dumb & Dumber on 1441 and D&C on 343.
Mountie then began her screw of the run. She was unhappy as SS, Half a Bar, and Dr Death were not here to hang shit on them. She then read from her COOCH bible with some notable quotes, “All runners run, but only one gets the prize” and “Walk by faith and overcome the demons”. She then mentioned that she followed the trail up and down and bragged that she found both the drink stops. Not everyone was so lucky to be able to find and follow the trail, six hashers were lost at various locations on the trail, but we were all found in the end.
Our sergeant NBCL then began with a few jokes. He told us about his pet chameleon that wouldn’t change colour, he took it to the vet where it was diagnosed with reptile dysfunction. There was then a follow-on joke about his flexibility from last week that mentioned something about a voodoo doll, but I couldn’t hear this one over the crowd. He then mentioned that he met an old girlfriend on trail who was ugly … how ugly was she… well, her star sign is faeces. Bent then tried a Dim Wit joke. What is the cause of dry skin?...Towels.
Dumb & Dumber was then charged for the recent death threat to a Melbourne Footy coach. Then if one Demons supporter is charged, all Demons supporters are charged. However, he was the only one here. Bent nose was then charged for too much talking. Mountie scored a charge for not being able to find her torch at the start of the run, while it was on her head and Nair was charged for selling a gym set, but still having two bits in his pocket. Immaculate Conception was then charged for being spewed on by his pup Friday night. This led to a dog themed charge for Big Dog and Hush Puppy. We then had a birthday charge to Big Dog, Carpet Burns and NBCL. Spartacus was charged for serving Melbourne Bitter at the Drink Stop and Doodle Nuts was charged for shitting herself on the run. NBCL was also charged for his fall on the run. Since we have the COOCH cross, which is a Roman Symbol, Spartacus was charged for his Roman name. A lack of Hash Gear charge went to Mrs D, Fawcet, Road Runner and Noname. Doodle nuts was then charged for losing her beanie, twice, but it was found in her pocket each time. Road Runner was then charged for his speedy travel in Vietnam, he seemed to get to the next location quicker that the others without visiting brothels. Then D&C was charged for organised one the Vietnamese accommodation sites above a brothel. People Pleaser was then charged for voluntarily having a beer at the first drink stop, after saying he doesn’t like beer. Perhaps Hash is influencing him? Then Pink Bits was charged for turning that easy. There was then a call that this was perhaps the shit hot run of the year, as there were 2 drink stops, but Bent Nose only made it to one of them. Immaculate Conception then scored the Oscar Piastri charge, for his recent wins, and Pus Bucket was charged for smashing a glass at the bar. Nair was then charged for still needing a lyric book. Big Dog was then charged for bringing Hush Puppy, but not teaching her to sign the book. Shafted then charged Big Dog for not being allowed to trim Hush Puppy hedges, only Nutcracker is allowed to trim. Normal was then charged for talking in the circle and Bent Nose scored the last charge for worrying the young people when he was lost.
Next Weeks Run was then announced. D&C will be setting a run from the Grapes on Grant Street.
On On
This week we began with a charge for Spartacus, for not setting trail up and down the street. Our esteemed GM then continued his struggle without Lois Lane. Welcomes back for awarded to Shafted, Nair, Fawcet & Noname. Sniffy runs then went to Dumb & Dumber on 1441 and D&C on 343.
Mountie then began her screw of the run. She was unhappy as SS, Half a Bar, and Dr Death were not here to hang shit on them. She then read from her COOCH bible with some notable quotes, “All runners run, but only one gets the prize” and “Walk by faith and overcome the demons”. She then mentioned that she followed the trail up and down and bragged that she found both the drink stops. Not everyone was so lucky to be able to find and follow the trail, six hashers were lost at various locations on the trail, but we were all found in the end.
Our sergeant NBCL then began with a few jokes. He told us about his pet chameleon that wouldn’t change colour, he took it to the vet where it was diagnosed with reptile dysfunction. There was then a follow-on joke about his flexibility from last week that mentioned something about a voodoo doll, but I couldn’t hear this one over the crowd. He then mentioned that he met an old girlfriend on trail who was ugly … how ugly was she… well, her star sign is faeces. Bent then tried a Dim Wit joke. What is the cause of dry skin?...Towels.
Dumb & Dumber was then charged for the recent death threat to a Melbourne Footy coach. Then if one Demons supporter is charged, all Demons supporters are charged. However, he was the only one here. Bent nose was then charged for too much talking. Mountie scored a charge for not being able to find her torch at the start of the run, while it was on her head and Nair was charged for selling a gym set, but still having two bits in his pocket. Immaculate Conception was then charged for being spewed on by his pup Friday night. This led to a dog themed charge for Big Dog and Hush Puppy. We then had a birthday charge to Big Dog, Carpet Burns and NBCL. Spartacus was charged for serving Melbourne Bitter at the Drink Stop and Doodle Nuts was charged for shitting herself on the run. NBCL was also charged for his fall on the run. Since we have the COOCH cross, which is a Roman Symbol, Spartacus was charged for his Roman name. A lack of Hash Gear charge went to Mrs D, Fawcet, Road Runner and Noname. Doodle nuts was then charged for losing her beanie, twice, but it was found in her pocket each time. Road Runner was then charged for his speedy travel in Vietnam, he seemed to get to the next location quicker that the others without visiting brothels. Then D&C was charged for organised one the Vietnamese accommodation sites above a brothel. People Pleaser was then charged for voluntarily having a beer at the first drink stop, after saying he doesn’t like beer. Perhaps Hash is influencing him? Then Pink Bits was charged for turning that easy. There was then a call that this was perhaps the shit hot run of the year, as there were 2 drink stops, but Bent Nose only made it to one of them. Immaculate Conception then scored the Oscar Piastri charge, for his recent wins, and Pus Bucket was charged for smashing a glass at the bar. Nair was then charged for still needing a lyric book. Big Dog was then charged for bringing Hush Puppy, but not teaching her to sign the book. Shafted then charged Big Dog for not being allowed to trim Hush Puppy hedges, only Nutcracker is allowed to trim. Normal was then charged for talking in the circle and Bent Nose scored the last charge for worrying the young people when he was lost.
Next Weeks Run was then announced. D&C will be setting a run from the Grapes on Grant Street.
On On
RUN 2265 – Committee Run – Irish Murphy’s – Red Dress Run raising funds for FECRI – Monday 21st July 2025
RUN 2265 – Committee Run – Irish Murphy’s – Red Dress Run raising funds for FECRI – Monday 21st July 2025
This week our poor GM was left bereft of Lois Lane’s little slip of paper, without knowledge of the run number, welcomes backs or sniffy runs. I could only help with the run number. So, we began with talk of horoscopes, particularly cancer and moved straight on to the screw. Mountie screwed the GM for the trail, which included a tour of the labs at the Fiona Elsey Cancer Research Institute (FECRI), and tin rattling around central Ballarat. She then quoted from the bible of COOCH with a selection of readings and proverbs.
Mountie then scored the first charge, as we were told that after the weekend cross country, they had to remove all the trail arrows in Vic Park. Mountie should have told us during her screw, that the hare needs to brush off trail after the run, as council apparently now considers trail marks as graffiti. At this point the circle moved from the bar area to the nearby stage with a pulpit (how appropriate). NBCL, our sergeant, stepped up. NBCL was on a roll tonight and began with talk of how tough it is in Melbourne, such that when he was asked to put his hand in fresh concrete located at some civil construction works, he felt a hand on the other side. He then told us about the flotsam and jetsam he saw on the trams, there was a guy with a beard wearing a dress, actually looking around, it was just like us. We were then informed that life is like a fart… if you force it, it’s probable shit. NBCL then mentioned that he’d been to the gym to get help with bending, he was asked how flexible he was, to which he responded, “well, I can’t do Tuesday”. We then moved on to charges. Nummy scored the next charge, for her behavior on our last mystery bus tour, meaning that a Coldplay concert was probably not a good spot for future trips. We then charged Wee Problem and Jus Cum for no hash gear and no red dress. Then, if one Hassle drinks, all Hassles drink, so Spartacus got a drink too. Nummy was then charged again, for her assistance with the ordering tonight. Fop was charged for coming to Hash, which may have resulted in the absence of Mrs D, who was suddenly not feeling well. There was then a charge for the red heads in the room, Disco, Rowdy, Nutcracker, Spencer Hocking and Bad Hair Day, some with wigs and some without. This was because the bar staff asked who was paying for the jugs, the answer was “the guy with the red hair”, to which they responded, “the red wig?”, and our GM responded with “Oh no, that’s his real hair. Cat Flaps was then charged for her assistance in organising the chaos of ordering upstairs and Disco was then charged for something about express lanes at the footy on the weekend. Mountie was then charged for her dismay at the choice of red wines at the Buninyong Winery where they only had a Pinot Noir. We then charged a few belated welcomes backs to FOP, Wee Problem, Fascinator and Her Vaj. Fop and Campaspe were then charged for being excellent tour guides although, we did loose one Dr, poor Rowdy got lost and missed the tours, so if one Dr drinks, all Drs drink. Quick Dick scored a drink here too. There were then comments about the tours, where someone asked where’s the beer fridge? Is it only cancer or is there normal in the tissue bank? What, Normal is in there! While no lab animals were found, there was a trail of red feathers (Mountie) and Jus Cum was charged for asking what do you research here? We finished up with charges to Fop and Campaspe for their important work in cancer research and Cat Flaps was charged for donating wine and sleeping with an Unwin.
Next Weeks Run was then announced to be set by Spartacus from the Millers Arms Hotel, Howard St Soldiers Hill.
On On
After dinner, Fascinator officiated our charity wine auction. Immaculate Conception bought the Umbrella Man Chardonnay $50, a 2002 Tattooed Lady Shiraz $120, a cleanskin vintage handmade champagne estimated at 30-40 years old $90 and a 2001 Tattooed Lady Shiraz $110. Boner bought a 2005 dessert wine $50. Spencer Hocking bought a 2004 Acrobat Riesling $50 and a 2015 Winemakers Selection Shiraz $50. Rowdy bought the last bottle of the 2004 Acrobat Durif $150 and Num Num bought the 2011 Chardonnay $50. Thanks to Fascinator for being our auctioneer and to Cat Flaps for donating the wine and providing some extra background information about some of the special bottles. We also had Ballarat Cycle Classic socks for sale at $20 a pair, that were bought by NBCL, Nummy and Cinderella. I’d like to thank all the Hashers who made purchases. Donations were also collected on the night, on top of the $10 collected from each person in attendance.
The fantastic final tally raised on the night for FECRI was $1461.30, which was made up of $720 from wine sales, $290 from entries, $240 from sock sales, $10 from a QR code donation and $201.30 from cash donations. On behalf of FECRI, I would like to thank everyone for contributing to this successful fundraising event.
RUN 2264 – Mountie – Mount Xavier Golf Course, Ballarat East – Monday 14th July 2025
RUN 2264 – Mountie – Mount Xavier Golf Course, Ballarat East – Monday 14th July 2025
The GM began with a question to the group, “What to do with the glass penis?” While no particular answer was provided, it was purported that it was good to have at your disposal. Our GM then asked Pauline and Lois to move around the circle giving high fives. This was because our GM wanted a military parade for his birthday. We then moved on to Welcomes Backs, which went to Rear Entry, Zig, Bad Hair Day, Abbey, and D&C. However, D&C was there last week, so Lois was charged for f#@king up.
Zig was called to the front with People Pleaser and Riley. There was something about Zig having a Zag and they all had a drink. We then moved on to our Sniffy runs that went to Pink Bits on 161, Rear Entry 696 and Jus Cum on 269.
Mountie wasn’t allowed to screw herself, so IC was called up with no preparation, to screw the run/walk. He said that we stayed off the greens and stayed on trail, there was even trail on the walk and a good Drink Stop. Altogether, well set.
NBCL began with a funny story about coming from Sunshine, where there was a petting zoo, because it was school holidays, but 4 kids escaped. We were then welcomed to Mt Xavier, the place carpet forgot. Rear Entry scored a charge relating to the sign on the bar, “prefer lies through the green”. Lois was then charged as the carpet design was said to resemble her merkin. Boner then told a poo joke. NBCL and Nutcracker were then charged for a joke about the use of the ball cleaner at the first hole which moved onto the cleaning of the glass penis. Our GM was charged after responding to complaints that the balls were hard to clean, where he said, “That’s what makes the smell”. Head Hunter and Donuts were then charged for comments relating to staying high on the green. Zig was charged for his phone call during the starting circle. There was then a charge for long hair going to Precious and Disco, with some comparison to Bob Marley, this progressed to talk of the Wailers, but we don’t need the Wailers because we have Mountie. Snag, Snag, Snag. Mountie was also charged for not knowing many of the songs when we were out last Saturday night. Carpet Burns was then charged for losing her coat Sat night, but since she wasn’t there, Jus Cum scored the drink. There was then a birthday charge for Pink Bits, Pauline and Precious. Nummy then scored a retirement charge, even though she has 2 more shifts. Nummy was then awarded a drink from the glass penis. We then had a no hash gear charge that was given to Abbey, Riley and Pink Bits, even though she had Hash tights under her trackies. People Pleaser was charged with a question “does he have a gun in his pocket or was he pleased to see us”. His grey trackies were a little revealing. Lois was then charged for accumulating Hash gear from the recently deceased and not passing it on, however, she did give a shirt to People Pleaser. We then gave our barman Wayne a charge which progressed to charging those wearing hats, Normal, Hush Puppy & Rowdy. Wayne was then charged for not enforcing “no hats” Rule. Wankers were then changed, this included Donuts, IC and Bad Hair Day. Rear Entry was then charged for not knowing the Tigers song, and Big Dog was charged as he was also a Tigers supporter. Snag was given a late charge for no hash gear and Spencer Hocking was charged for being a cousin. Boner then got the last charge, just because.
Next Weeks Run was then announced to be a Red Dress Run with the venue, TBA. There will be a red wine auction (thanks Cat Flaps) and raffles, so we were reminded to bring some extra cash. We will also be doing a guided tour of the lab on trail, while we raise money for the Fiona Elsey Cancer Research Institute.
On On
Tuesday, July 15, 2025
RUN 2263 – Campaspe – 30 Merino Drive, Alfredton – Monday 7th July 2025
Wow, what a turnout this week. There was a long list of Welcomes Backs that went to FOP, Her Vagesty, Spencer Hocking, Faucet, Riley, Cinderella, Dim Wit, Deep Heat and Rowena. Sniffy runs were then awarded to Pauline on 434, Nutcracker of 393, Big Dog on 242 and Cat Flaps on 11. A late addition was Bent Nose on 1551.
Mountie then stepped up to screw me! It was difficult to scribe this bit as I was out the front but there was mention of sheep, since all the streets in this area are named after types of sheep, and something about the lord is our shepherd. Mountie then recited some sections of the bible, that related more to Mountie than to me, so this got a few laughs.
NBCL was charged for ruining the Hash cash float by taking cash for the Miti Golf weekend, but then it was revealed that it was actually D&C, who paid this week with a $100, so she was charged too. We were reminded that Hash Cash works for tax department, so we should be careful when splashing cash around.
NBCL and Dim Wit began with a few jokes. Why did the chicken go to a fitness centre? - To work on her pecs. What’s the difference between Southern Cross station and a breast augmented lobster? – One is a busty crustacean, and the other is a crusty bus station. Lois then charged Mountie for a joke relating to hand grip while golfing and then Mountie charged Nutcracker for a wayward drive that hit and downed another golfer, the punchline was that it was a broken thumb, not penis, so rubbing it was not really necessary. Pink Bits then charged Disco, who went missing at her recent party, thankfully there was no shit in the fridge this time, but he was found touching things in IC’s room. Riley was then charged for his birthday and despite a few calls for other upcoming birthdays during the next week, they were delayed to our next run. Teflon then charged IC and Cinderella, because Wagga beat the Reds with a 137 to nil score. Precious was then charged for not finding a fill in scribe, as I had the tricky task of scribing my own run. There were no volunteers to help, so it’s just me, trying to make sense of it all. There was then mention of my previous neighbour who is now a convicted sex offender. Precious played horn with him, but then Precious mentioned that he was a piano teacher, who actually taught him where to put his fingers. Mountie then charged me for asking on trail why she hadn’t read my blog, but she claims she’d been distracted by Boner’s post. Boner was then charged for revealing his chin. IC then charged the GM for missing the virgin hasher, Boner is like a new man, now that we can see his chin. Pink Bits then charged Spartacus, who was the only bar fly this week, until we had some late arrivals, Boner and Deep Heat scored a drink here. Mrs D then charged Jus Cum and me, we started the run about 20 min after the pack, as I was ordering our dinner, I caught the pack at the last halt, like an elite athlete, but Jus Cum gave up and joined the walkers. Speaking of walkers, I gave the map to Nummy, but I believe she gave it to Lois. Who was in charge of the walkers? Pauline then stepped up to reveal a special penis shaped glass that he’d found during some recent cleaning up. The story was that it was ordered from a glass blowing factory in Hokitika, NZ. Once it was freshly blown, it was collected by Lois’s Mum and shipped to Australia. Precious then filled the glass dick and sculled. The Richmond supporters then scored the final charge.
Next weeks run was announced to be Mountie’s run which was said to be from the Tennis Courts in Creswick and we were asked to bring a log. This has now been amended to Mount Xavier Golf Club in Ballarat East. The bar will be open and we are reminded to bring a torch.
The following week is our Christmas in July Red Dress run. Stay tuned for more info….
On On
Mountie then stepped up to screw me! It was difficult to scribe this bit as I was out the front but there was mention of sheep, since all the streets in this area are named after types of sheep, and something about the lord is our shepherd. Mountie then recited some sections of the bible, that related more to Mountie than to me, so this got a few laughs.
NBCL was charged for ruining the Hash cash float by taking cash for the Miti Golf weekend, but then it was revealed that it was actually D&C, who paid this week with a $100, so she was charged too. We were reminded that Hash Cash works for tax department, so we should be careful when splashing cash around.
NBCL and Dim Wit began with a few jokes. Why did the chicken go to a fitness centre? - To work on her pecs. What’s the difference between Southern Cross station and a breast augmented lobster? – One is a busty crustacean, and the other is a crusty bus station. Lois then charged Mountie for a joke relating to hand grip while golfing and then Mountie charged Nutcracker for a wayward drive that hit and downed another golfer, the punchline was that it was a broken thumb, not penis, so rubbing it was not really necessary. Pink Bits then charged Disco, who went missing at her recent party, thankfully there was no shit in the fridge this time, but he was found touching things in IC’s room. Riley was then charged for his birthday and despite a few calls for other upcoming birthdays during the next week, they were delayed to our next run. Teflon then charged IC and Cinderella, because Wagga beat the Reds with a 137 to nil score. Precious was then charged for not finding a fill in scribe, as I had the tricky task of scribing my own run. There were no volunteers to help, so it’s just me, trying to make sense of it all. There was then mention of my previous neighbour who is now a convicted sex offender. Precious played horn with him, but then Precious mentioned that he was a piano teacher, who actually taught him where to put his fingers. Mountie then charged me for asking on trail why she hadn’t read my blog, but she claims she’d been distracted by Boner’s post. Boner was then charged for revealing his chin. IC then charged the GM for missing the virgin hasher, Boner is like a new man, now that we can see his chin. Pink Bits then charged Spartacus, who was the only bar fly this week, until we had some late arrivals, Boner and Deep Heat scored a drink here. Mrs D then charged Jus Cum and me, we started the run about 20 min after the pack, as I was ordering our dinner, I caught the pack at the last halt, like an elite athlete, but Jus Cum gave up and joined the walkers. Speaking of walkers, I gave the map to Nummy, but I believe she gave it to Lois. Who was in charge of the walkers? Pauline then stepped up to reveal a special penis shaped glass that he’d found during some recent cleaning up. The story was that it was ordered from a glass blowing factory in Hokitika, NZ. Once it was freshly blown, it was collected by Lois’s Mum and shipped to Australia. Precious then filled the glass dick and sculled. The Richmond supporters then scored the final charge.
Next weeks run was announced to be Mountie’s run which was said to be from the Tennis Courts in Creswick and we were asked to bring a log. This has now been amended to Mount Xavier Golf Club in Ballarat East. The bar will be open and we are reminded to bring a torch.
The following week is our Christmas in July Red Dress run. Stay tuned for more info….
On On
RUN 2262 – Shafted – Grapes Hotel on Grant St – Monday 30th June 2025 Heavy’s 10th Anniversary Memorial Run
Welcomes backs this week went to all the Vietnam peeps, Pebbles, GILF, Fascinator, Kat Flaps, Pebbles, Boner and Square Pants. Sniffy runs that were notable were GILF on 474 and People Pleaser on 13.
This week we were graced with the return of Mountie, who then stepped up to screw the run. She mentioned that we passed by many notable landmarks on this trail. These included the Eureka flag at Bakery Hill, Heavy’s house (where we sang swing low to Clark), the on after site at the Old Colonists club and the drink stop at the back of Her Majesty’s Theatre, that Heavy never made it to and we then had our drink stop at the last known site of Heavy in the gardens at SMB. Of course, there was a very well stocked drink stop of Fosters beers. The church of COOCH salutes Heavy.
Our sergeant NBCL began with a few jokes from Vietnam and then Lois was charged for giving her daughter the Hash Heavy T-shirt to wear, if you’ve seen it, you’ll know. She wore it for a run at Vic Park but then went to the chemist without realising what was on it. Half-a-bar returned from the run in a helmet, but it was Teflon who probably needed it, as he took a tumble on trail and Bent Nose was worried that he may have hit his head. At the point, it was noted that Square Pants was missing (he returned later), we were concerned that we went for a run with 2 Fosters, but only 1 came back….again! Rowdy then charged Mountie, as it was the first time in 32 years as a Dr, that he saved someone’s life, stopping her from stepping in front of a car on trail. Rowdy’s retirement was recognised and it was clarified that he could no longer write prescriptions. Those patients of Dr Rowdy are believed to have received messages of the 5 Dr’s that are replacing him. Then, if 1 Dr drinks, all Dr’s drink. That’s only me this week, as Rowdy is now retired. Rowdy had been discussing health concerns with Cris Cross, he was explaining about a device called a gyro ball that can be used to strengthen arms, but Rowdy explained that there were also other ways to do that. Pink Bits was charged for mixing up Half-a bar and Shafted. The “smart one” was supposed to differentiate them, but looking at Half-a-bar in a helmet did not help matters. Teflon then scored another charge for his “heavy” fall on trail. Half-a -bar returned his glass, saying he wasn’t getting another charge, which resulted in another charge, as he was resembling a cock with his helmet on. Which follows that if one circumcised cock drinks, all circumcised cocks drink. Half-a bar and Bent Nose took this one. We then finished up with a charge for all the Vietnam returnees, which was accompanied by Mrs D running around with her phone making helicopter noises. This audible joke worked. The last charge was a Hashy Birthday Charge to Spartacus.
Next weeks run was then announced to be from Campaspe’s (my place), 30 Merino Drive in Alfredton. BYO grog and torch. No chairs required, I have plenty.
On On
This week we were graced with the return of Mountie, who then stepped up to screw the run. She mentioned that we passed by many notable landmarks on this trail. These included the Eureka flag at Bakery Hill, Heavy’s house (where we sang swing low to Clark), the on after site at the Old Colonists club and the drink stop at the back of Her Majesty’s Theatre, that Heavy never made it to and we then had our drink stop at the last known site of Heavy in the gardens at SMB. Of course, there was a very well stocked drink stop of Fosters beers. The church of COOCH salutes Heavy.
Our sergeant NBCL began with a few jokes from Vietnam and then Lois was charged for giving her daughter the Hash Heavy T-shirt to wear, if you’ve seen it, you’ll know. She wore it for a run at Vic Park but then went to the chemist without realising what was on it. Half-a-bar returned from the run in a helmet, but it was Teflon who probably needed it, as he took a tumble on trail and Bent Nose was worried that he may have hit his head. At the point, it was noted that Square Pants was missing (he returned later), we were concerned that we went for a run with 2 Fosters, but only 1 came back….again! Rowdy then charged Mountie, as it was the first time in 32 years as a Dr, that he saved someone’s life, stopping her from stepping in front of a car on trail. Rowdy’s retirement was recognised and it was clarified that he could no longer write prescriptions. Those patients of Dr Rowdy are believed to have received messages of the 5 Dr’s that are replacing him. Then, if 1 Dr drinks, all Dr’s drink. That’s only me this week, as Rowdy is now retired. Rowdy had been discussing health concerns with Cris Cross, he was explaining about a device called a gyro ball that can be used to strengthen arms, but Rowdy explained that there were also other ways to do that. Pink Bits was charged for mixing up Half-a bar and Shafted. The “smart one” was supposed to differentiate them, but looking at Half-a-bar in a helmet did not help matters. Teflon then scored another charge for his “heavy” fall on trail. Half-a -bar returned his glass, saying he wasn’t getting another charge, which resulted in another charge, as he was resembling a cock with his helmet on. Which follows that if one circumcised cock drinks, all circumcised cocks drink. Half-a bar and Bent Nose took this one. We then finished up with a charge for all the Vietnam returnees, which was accompanied by Mrs D running around with her phone making helicopter noises. This audible joke worked. The last charge was a Hashy Birthday Charge to Spartacus.
Next weeks run was then announced to be from Campaspe’s (my place), 30 Merino Drive in Alfredton. BYO grog and torch. No chairs required, I have plenty.
On On
RUN 2261 – Normal and Mastabait – 611 Eyre Street with the on after at Eureka Bistro – Monday 23rd June 2025
Precious was absent this week, so Mummy dearest (Mrs Dickhead) stepped up as stand in GM. Welcomes Back this week went to Head Hunter, Big Dog, Hush Puppy, Bent Nose and Teflon. While no sniffy runs were noted, Shafted piped up to announce that he was on 869, proclaiming his own sniffy run. Half-a-bar also scored a drink for the winter solstice, shortest day, shortest hasher. He also scored a down down for thinking he could park in the neighbours driveway.
The run was then screwed by IC. He noted that there was shit on the trail, he was followed by a shit hasher, and big dog was seen to be marking his territory on trail. The run was then scored against the 6 miracles of Christ. Did we turn water into wine – yes, there were bubbles at the drink stop. Did we walk on water – No, this week it was not wet. Did we still the storm – yes, but there were gale force winds. Did we feed 5000 people – Yes, Eureka has heaps of food. Did we cure the lepers – Yes, Half-a-bar is here. Was there a resurrection – Yes, Half-a-bar and Shafted both appeared. This run scored, 5 out of 6.
Bent Nose stepped up as acting sergeant, even though he had used his 2 jokes at the drink stop. HHH was then compared to a cult, for those looking for new ventures as they age, especially as we now have the cooch cross. There was then a group charge for those standing beyond the “No stupid People beyond this point” sign. Bent Nose was also charged for reaching 15051 runs (according to his adjusted run numbers). Pauline then charged Normal for some of the notable signage in his back shed. The Geelong supporters then scored the next down down. Mrs D was then charged since we have lost SS and gained PP. Rowdy was then charged for his eulogy, and IC was charged for leading us in a rendition of Swing Low, Sweet Chariot, at SS’s memorial. There was a magnificent turnout with many Hashers past and present in attendance.
Next week’s run was then announced to be Shafted’s run from the Grapes Hotel on Grant St. This run will be a commemorative run for Heavy, on the 10th anniversary of his passing.
We then finished up with Head Hunter telling us a story of a past Ladies Hash run though the cemetery. As the Harriettes passed by a Hasher’s grave, all walked astride the site, so that their Lady Gardens could be inspected. Despite offers to repeat, she said that this is only available if you’re dead. We then relocated to Eureka Bistro for dinner.
On On
The run was then screwed by IC. He noted that there was shit on the trail, he was followed by a shit hasher, and big dog was seen to be marking his territory on trail. The run was then scored against the 6 miracles of Christ. Did we turn water into wine – yes, there were bubbles at the drink stop. Did we walk on water – No, this week it was not wet. Did we still the storm – yes, but there were gale force winds. Did we feed 5000 people – Yes, Eureka has heaps of food. Did we cure the lepers – Yes, Half-a-bar is here. Was there a resurrection – Yes, Half-a-bar and Shafted both appeared. This run scored, 5 out of 6.
Bent Nose stepped up as acting sergeant, even though he had used his 2 jokes at the drink stop. HHH was then compared to a cult, for those looking for new ventures as they age, especially as we now have the cooch cross. There was then a group charge for those standing beyond the “No stupid People beyond this point” sign. Bent Nose was also charged for reaching 15051 runs (according to his adjusted run numbers). Pauline then charged Normal for some of the notable signage in his back shed. The Geelong supporters then scored the next down down. Mrs D was then charged since we have lost SS and gained PP. Rowdy was then charged for his eulogy, and IC was charged for leading us in a rendition of Swing Low, Sweet Chariot, at SS’s memorial. There was a magnificent turnout with many Hashers past and present in attendance.
Next week’s run was then announced to be Shafted’s run from the Grapes Hotel on Grant St. This run will be a commemorative run for Heavy, on the 10th anniversary of his passing.
We then finished up with Head Hunter telling us a story of a past Ladies Hash run though the cemetery. As the Harriettes passed by a Hasher’s grave, all walked astride the site, so that their Lady Gardens could be inspected. Despite offers to repeat, she said that this is only available if you’re dead. We then relocated to Eureka Bistro for dinner.
On On
Monday, June 23, 2025
A very sad post - SS (Denis Faulkner)
Posts have been pulled from Facebook for convenience...
May 21stDenis Faulkner - SS - has had a stroke this morning. He has been transferred to RMH for clot retrieval surgery which can work very well.
Lets hope for the best. He was in good form at Hash on Monday.
Rowdy.
May 23rd
SS update.
I visited Denis today, in RMH. June and a few family members were there.
Unfortunately Denis remains with right sided face, arm and leg paralysis, despite interventions. It is very sad.
He will come back to Ballarat BH acute stroke unit when a bed is available. The doctors are expecting some improvement, - how much remains to be seen,
On On. Rowdy.
June 1st
It’s with a heavy heart I write this post …
I received a call from June’s daughter Lindy just now to tell me that SS passed away peacefully this evening.
He was wearing his Hash top and had his Hash 80th birthday top at the end of his bed.
Hash was such a big part of his life and, as our elder stateman, certainly was a treasured and respected member of the Ballarat Hash House Harriers and the broader Hash community.
He will be deeply missed by us all.
Our thoughts and condolences are with June, his daughter Sarah and their families.
On On SS
Spence
June 2nd
Hi All
This is such sad news.
SS’s last run in the book was 1943. His birth year was 1941. No one has ever been close to a run number matching the year of their birth such is the legend of the man.
I am wondering as a mark of respect tomorrow night at 1943hrs (17 mins to 8pm) we could stop for a minutes silence & reflection.
On on
Lois
June 17th from Precious
Update: June gladly accepted the condolences book from Hash. The only bad news is we didn't have time to proof read it.
The only bad news further explored: after many a beer and Hash writing in it, I couldn't guarantee there was no spelling errors, excessive swear words or slurs.
But she was grateful none the less, even with the warning.
Link to Peter Tobin page, memorial video can be watched and tributes can be posted for the family.
https://petertobinfunerals.com.au/obituaries/denis-faulkner/
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