The Sovereign Hash went through the motions of the penultimate run of the current Committee. Mummy dearest had to set the run, we did get our Sergeant back, still no scribe, and no sunshine. It would have been difficult to top the previous weeks’ run, and so it was proved. The highlight was the passage of a train, splitting the pack with flashing lights and clanging bells, electric whistles accompanied by four of Bobby Peel’s finest interrogating a pedestrian opposite the Reptile Gulch workshop.
Drink stop set outside the back of the Town Hall, with cans accompanied by the chiming carillon as well as chips and lollies.
Once back at the bandstand, the GM welcomed new runner Jacqui, introduced by Sparrow Fart. Boner was also given a welcome back, even though he was absent. Mountie began her screw with a quote from Proverbs 15:22 (“Plans fail for lack of counsel, but with many advisers they succeed"), but not in this case. Mrs D led the runners valiantly from the rear, while her second son got the walkers horribly lost both due to lack of counsel, and lack of ability to follow basic instructions. Shiggy Trail
Sergeant NBCL took a while to warm up, and once he did, had a run of Easter religious and footy related quips. D & D was asked what his spirit animal might be – “extinct” was the reply. Nummy’s father confessed towards the end of his days that he used to love to eat a bilby. She blames his dementia.
Mountie played golf during the week, had a gentleman collapse prostrate ahead of her. She calmy stepped around him and played through. Shafted demonstrated his knowledge of the inside of a massage parlour, and Pink Bits cracked the reason why Jesus is so popular.
.. because he was hung like this
It was about now that Normal pointed out that both he and Criss Cross had been away for some time, and should be welcomed back. After some discussions regarding Country Members they both got a down down.
Most proceeded to a convivial dinner at Eureka.
Next week will be a triple whammy; BLACK TIE NIGHT, AWARDS NIGHT and AGM at the Royal Oak Hotel, Raglan and South streets.
Monday, April 6, 2026
Sunday, March 29, 2026
Ballarat HHH Run 2302, 30 March 2026 Hare Rowdy, from St Georges Lake, Creswick On After Farmers Arms, Creswick.
The Last run of Daylight Savings means a Bush run, and the commemoration of Midnight’s demise over 33 years ago. Trail went from the car park, down along the Creswick Creek, crossing through the Portuguese Pit and along some well mined bush tracks to Slatey Creek, the up to a viewing platform overlooking Blue Waters and back to the drink stop at the Lake Car park.
Moonrise and sunset both featured, the GM pointed out a nearly full waxing gibbous moon, just after the equinox, perhaps presaging a second coming. The phrase “one of the greatest runs of all time” was mentioned.
Back at the pub for the circle, welcomes back to Quick Dick and Head Hunter, Cinderella, Shafted and Fascinator. Sniffy runs to People Pleaser 50, Shafted 888, Faucett 21, and a welcome to new runner Sue. “We’ve got Virgins”
Mountie began her screw by quoting Luke, rather than Matthew, and proceeded to an anecdote regarding Rowdy screwing someone in his consulting room, then asking what the appointment was for. “Herpes” was the answer. “Shitty Trail”
Shafted filled in at the last minute as Sergeant, and began by asking for volunteers for his run 888, three fat ladies. The only suitable candidate was IC. New runner Sue was charged for not being hot and sweaty, Lois Lane for not being there, and looking for her bag which was across her shoulder the whole time. Other charges concerning a quiche and a Carlton vibrator were offered.
Mountie finished with her Midnight limerick. When asked to describe Midnight to those who never met him, Bent offered “a good bloke with white teeth.” ON ON
Next week’s Easter Monday run is from the rotunda in Sturt St with a meal at the top Eureka.
Moonrise and sunset both featured, the GM pointed out a nearly full waxing gibbous moon, just after the equinox, perhaps presaging a second coming. The phrase “one of the greatest runs of all time” was mentioned.
Back at the pub for the circle, welcomes back to Quick Dick and Head Hunter, Cinderella, Shafted and Fascinator. Sniffy runs to People Pleaser 50, Shafted 888, Faucett 21, and a welcome to new runner Sue. “We’ve got Virgins”
Mountie began her screw by quoting Luke, rather than Matthew, and proceeded to an anecdote regarding Rowdy screwing someone in his consulting room, then asking what the appointment was for. “Herpes” was the answer. “Shitty Trail”
Shafted filled in at the last minute as Sergeant, and began by asking for volunteers for his run 888, three fat ladies. The only suitable candidate was IC. New runner Sue was charged for not being hot and sweaty, Lois Lane for not being there, and looking for her bag which was across her shoulder the whole time. Other charges concerning a quiche and a Carlton vibrator were offered.
Mountie finished with her Midnight limerick. When asked to describe Midnight to those who never met him, Bent offered “a good bloke with white teeth.” ON ON
Next week’s Easter Monday run is from the rotunda in Sturt St with a meal at the top Eureka.
Sunday, March 22, 2026
RUN 2301 – Pigs Arse – Trades Hall – Monday 23rd March 2026
Apologies were made for Deep Heat not being able to make it up the stairs to the circle. Boner arrived late and apologies were also given with the announcement that Carpet Burns is back. Welcomes backs went to Carpet Burns, Pebbles, Squizzy, and Beer f%ck. Sniffy runs were awarded to Teflon on 444, NBCL on 313, Bad Hair Day on 1313, Pebbles on 669 and Jus Cum on 300, who also received a commemorative T-shirt. New runner Jacinta received her first down down and when asked “who made you cum?”, she indicated Cat Flaps.
Mountie wanted to begin her screw, but Pigs Arse was nowhere to be found, so Pus Bucket, you’ll do. Matthew 2323 was quoted with mention of justice, mercy, and faithfulness. The trail was noted to have lots of halts to keep us together, just maybe not every 5 sec as we kept running up everyone’s arses. At the drink stop there was no petrol crisis, but we did have a beer crisis. We ran out of beer! Jacinta had to drink cider. Shame! Cat Flaps and Bent nose were called to the front. At this point, Deep Heat arrived to the cheer of the crowd. He told us all to f%ck off. Back to our best 2 engineers, they had a car crash, both died and showed up at the gates to heaven. After meeting God, they were told that heaven wasn’t for them and that they should go down there. While down there, they fixed everything, so that everything was amazing. God also wanted things fixed, so he asked them to move back upstairs and threatened that he’ll sue if they didn’t come. They answered, “where are you going to get a lawyer.
NBCL began with the observation that Nutcrackers Grandfather was on wall. He used to tell her bedtime stories, that always began, “once upon a double time”. Disco was charged for helping a little boy who had lost his dad. When he asked the boy what’s he like? He answered, “big tits, and whisky”. When a homeless guy was asked “Knock Knock” he answered, “who’s there?” I thought you were homeless. Pigs Arse was charged for scheduling the circle up 5 flights of stairs, Precious said “he’s not here” so “you’ll do”. Pigs Arse was collecting the pizza’s, perhaps he doesn’t know that delivery can be arranged. Dumb then charged himself and announced that he had a lovely motion this morning, prior to the general business. Immaculate Conception was charged for being a good Samaritan, helping those in need by not having a lockable fuel cap. Precious was also charged for being the only dickhead with a car with a lockable fuel cap, and crashing it. The teachers were called to the front by Pigs Arse for a presentation. Some union shirts were distributed among Jacinta, Mrs D and others. After asking “Where’s Fang?” Jus Cum answered “he’s not here”, so she was charged. Jus cum and Spartacus scored another charge, after the traumatic birth of baby Wee Problem, Spartacus was told that his wife didn’t make it. The punchline was that he’ll bring you the one she did make. Jus Cum was also charged as her new shirt was black, not red like the union members. Bent told us that Hash used to only have 1 perfect c%nt, Normal. But now BP is in St John’s getting a perfect vagina. The comeback was that now she is hoping to get a perfect dick. Mountie dissed the ES staff, and Jacinta was asked to explain why, People Pleaser, Jus Cum and Pink Bits were only worth half as much as teachers. For our last charge, Spencer charged Mastabait, as his princess is going to Spain for 4 weeks to walk the Camino. All who walk this trail are asked to carry a pebble, to represent carrying a burden. Since Mastabait is not going, he asked Nummy to bless a stone for her to take.
Next weeks run is in memory of Midnight (not at midnight). It will be hosted by Rowdy, with the run taking off from St George’s Lake and the On After at the Farmers Arms Creswick.
On On
Mountie wanted to begin her screw, but Pigs Arse was nowhere to be found, so Pus Bucket, you’ll do. Matthew 2323 was quoted with mention of justice, mercy, and faithfulness. The trail was noted to have lots of halts to keep us together, just maybe not every 5 sec as we kept running up everyone’s arses. At the drink stop there was no petrol crisis, but we did have a beer crisis. We ran out of beer! Jacinta had to drink cider. Shame! Cat Flaps and Bent nose were called to the front. At this point, Deep Heat arrived to the cheer of the crowd. He told us all to f%ck off. Back to our best 2 engineers, they had a car crash, both died and showed up at the gates to heaven. After meeting God, they were told that heaven wasn’t for them and that they should go down there. While down there, they fixed everything, so that everything was amazing. God also wanted things fixed, so he asked them to move back upstairs and threatened that he’ll sue if they didn’t come. They answered, “where are you going to get a lawyer.
NBCL began with the observation that Nutcrackers Grandfather was on wall. He used to tell her bedtime stories, that always began, “once upon a double time”. Disco was charged for helping a little boy who had lost his dad. When he asked the boy what’s he like? He answered, “big tits, and whisky”. When a homeless guy was asked “Knock Knock” he answered, “who’s there?” I thought you were homeless. Pigs Arse was charged for scheduling the circle up 5 flights of stairs, Precious said “he’s not here” so “you’ll do”. Pigs Arse was collecting the pizza’s, perhaps he doesn’t know that delivery can be arranged. Dumb then charged himself and announced that he had a lovely motion this morning, prior to the general business. Immaculate Conception was charged for being a good Samaritan, helping those in need by not having a lockable fuel cap. Precious was also charged for being the only dickhead with a car with a lockable fuel cap, and crashing it. The teachers were called to the front by Pigs Arse for a presentation. Some union shirts were distributed among Jacinta, Mrs D and others. After asking “Where’s Fang?” Jus Cum answered “he’s not here”, so she was charged. Jus cum and Spartacus scored another charge, after the traumatic birth of baby Wee Problem, Spartacus was told that his wife didn’t make it. The punchline was that he’ll bring you the one she did make. Jus Cum was also charged as her new shirt was black, not red like the union members. Bent told us that Hash used to only have 1 perfect c%nt, Normal. But now BP is in St John’s getting a perfect vagina. The comeback was that now she is hoping to get a perfect dick. Mountie dissed the ES staff, and Jacinta was asked to explain why, People Pleaser, Jus Cum and Pink Bits were only worth half as much as teachers. For our last charge, Spencer charged Mastabait, as his princess is going to Spain for 4 weeks to walk the Camino. All who walk this trail are asked to carry a pebble, to represent carrying a burden. Since Mastabait is not going, he asked Nummy to bless a stone for her to take.
Next weeks run is in memory of Midnight (not at midnight). It will be hosted by Rowdy, with the run taking off from St George’s Lake and the On After at the Farmers Arms Creswick.
On On
Sunday, March 15, 2026
RUN 2300 – Pink Bits – Scarsdale Hotel – St Patrick’s Day - Monday 16th March 2026
We were welcomed to the Deep Heat special, where everyone can sit down during circle. Some of us were still eating meals since this was one of those weeks where meals came out and we ate before the circle. Cat Flaps was awarded a welcome back drink and sniffy runs were awarded to Cat Flaps on 19, Faucet on 19, Campaspe on 292 and Nice Member on 16, The young ones were educated with a Neil Sedaka version of Sweet 16. We also acknowledged our Western Suburbs visitor, Plunger.
Nummy was missing because she’d been bitten by a dog, Big Dog was called for, but he wasn’t here. Mountie screwed Pink Bits with something about archangels. We saw many animals on trail, ants, llamas and kangaroos, but trail markings were harder to find, perhaps they were washed away. I missed Mountie’s joke while climbing a chair to turn off the music. Might have been better to ask someone other than a short scribe to do this?
NBCL asked if anyone was still eating, Dumb was the only one. So we had a masticator and a Masterbaiter. Pus Bucket and Mountie were charged, it was Pus Buckets birthday and when asked “where are you taking me?” “From behind” was not the right answer. Mountie and Pus Bucket also had a traumatic experience during a bank robbery. Someone asked if it was a sperm bank, and some quick-witted hasher asked if they swallowed the evidence. Back to the joke, the robber asked who saw his face and killed those who could identify him. Pus Bucket was asked if he saw his face and he answered, “No, but my wife did”. Nutcracker was charged as someone stole her car. When asked if she saw who did it she answered “no, but I got the number plate”. On trail, Lois told Mountie, do you know what I like about you?... Nothing. We also heard that Faucet’s grandparents used to own this pub. Pigs Arse was charged for driving back from a gig on Saturday night. He then messed up his joke about sheep in a fence resulting in a rebound charge. Mountie was given a St Kilda supporters charge which was followed by a Kangaroo’s supporters charge. Tommy was charged for looking like a bring your son to work day (he was wearing a Shrek hat) and Mountie was charged for being traumatised by llamas and kangaroos. Pink bits was charged for setting her trail twice and not making it shorter. Pigs Arse messed up another joke and when asked where Bad Hair Day was, the answer that he was the one in green, didn’t really help. Pink Bits drove a carload back from the drink stop, Lois with her long legs in the back seat was charged as she could have walked. Mountie had a St Patrick’s Day charge which was followed by a chorus of God Save our King. Rowdy and Nice Member were charged on the run, where Rowdy was trying to run away. Spencer Hocking was charged for planning to move to WA and do FIFO. He’d heard that there were a bunch of minors over there. Nutcracker got that one, only after D&C explained it to her. NBCL then stuffed up his charge and we charged Mick for hosting the drink stop. Mick was also a mate of Heavy’s, so we sang Swing Low, Sweet Chariot. And another verse for a mate of Nice Member and Pigs Arse. We finished up with the news that Disco’s pussy is recovering well, after being shaved under anaesthesia following an altercation with a bush.
Next weeks run will be hosted by Pigs Arse from the Ballarat Trades Hall, Camp Street, Ballarat Central.
On On
Nummy was missing because she’d been bitten by a dog, Big Dog was called for, but he wasn’t here. Mountie screwed Pink Bits with something about archangels. We saw many animals on trail, ants, llamas and kangaroos, but trail markings were harder to find, perhaps they were washed away. I missed Mountie’s joke while climbing a chair to turn off the music. Might have been better to ask someone other than a short scribe to do this?
NBCL asked if anyone was still eating, Dumb was the only one. So we had a masticator and a Masterbaiter. Pus Bucket and Mountie were charged, it was Pus Buckets birthday and when asked “where are you taking me?” “From behind” was not the right answer. Mountie and Pus Bucket also had a traumatic experience during a bank robbery. Someone asked if it was a sperm bank, and some quick-witted hasher asked if they swallowed the evidence. Back to the joke, the robber asked who saw his face and killed those who could identify him. Pus Bucket was asked if he saw his face and he answered, “No, but my wife did”. Nutcracker was charged as someone stole her car. When asked if she saw who did it she answered “no, but I got the number plate”. On trail, Lois told Mountie, do you know what I like about you?... Nothing. We also heard that Faucet’s grandparents used to own this pub. Pigs Arse was charged for driving back from a gig on Saturday night. He then messed up his joke about sheep in a fence resulting in a rebound charge. Mountie was given a St Kilda supporters charge which was followed by a Kangaroo’s supporters charge. Tommy was charged for looking like a bring your son to work day (he was wearing a Shrek hat) and Mountie was charged for being traumatised by llamas and kangaroos. Pink bits was charged for setting her trail twice and not making it shorter. Pigs Arse messed up another joke and when asked where Bad Hair Day was, the answer that he was the one in green, didn’t really help. Pink Bits drove a carload back from the drink stop, Lois with her long legs in the back seat was charged as she could have walked. Mountie had a St Patrick’s Day charge which was followed by a chorus of God Save our King. Rowdy and Nice Member were charged on the run, where Rowdy was trying to run away. Spencer Hocking was charged for planning to move to WA and do FIFO. He’d heard that there were a bunch of minors over there. Nutcracker got that one, only after D&C explained it to her. NBCL then stuffed up his charge and we charged Mick for hosting the drink stop. Mick was also a mate of Heavy’s, so we sang Swing Low, Sweet Chariot. And another verse for a mate of Nice Member and Pigs Arse. We finished up with the news that Disco’s pussy is recovering well, after being shaved under anaesthesia following an altercation with a bush.
Next weeks run will be hosted by Pigs Arse from the Ballarat Trades Hall, Camp Street, Ballarat Central.
On On
RUN 2299 Labour Day – People Pleaser - 16 Webster St, Sebastopol - Monday 9th March 2026
There were no welcomes backs, but Sniffy runs were awarded to Jacob and Cassy, both on 2 runs, Jus Cum on 299 and IC on 212. It was all about the number 2. Jus Cum was seen not singing and was heard to say that she doesn’t like songs with swear words, so this set off a rendition of f%ck off ya c%nt.
Mountie was excited to screw People Pleaser. She began with quotes seeking approval of man, then there was something about a straight path. While People Pleaser works at a school, it was noted that there was a shortage of chalk along the trail. Mountie also liked that we passed several streets with Prime Ministers names on them. People Pleaser was at a bar holding a piano with a tiny man. The bartender thinks this is amazing and asks, “Where did you get that?”, he responded that there is a Genie out the front with a magic lamp giving out wishes, but he’s hard of hearing. The bartender runs out and requests a million bucks. Suddenly the bar is full of a million ducks. People pleaser responds, “Do you think I asked for a 12-inch pianist”.
NBCL begins by noting the drone strike in the backyard and the cucumbers on offer from Bent Nose. Dumb was charged for something about the chairs, requiring us to sit down carefully. Mountie was charged for saying that People Pleaser wasn’t straight, when she has a gay haircut. Rowdy noted that People Pleaser was quite straight today. People pleaser and Riley were charged and advised to stay out of the way of stolen cars, as a result of their recent car accident. Jacob was charged with a shoey, made difficult as he was wearing thongs. Jus Cum was charged with another swearing song. Nutcracker and NBCL were charged as they had been to marriage counselling with Precious. Nutcracker complained that NBCL was working too much working, frequently picking his nose, and always wants to be on top. NBCL responded that he was following the advice of his Father who told him to work hard, keep his nose clean and don’t f%ck up. All the St Kinda supporters scored the next charge, so Mountie and Disco scored a drink. Following the Labour Day theme, Mountie was charged as she has not been in Labour, but somehow this rebounded on IC. Jus Cum was given the final charge, with another swearing song.
Next weeks run will be hosted by Pink Bits from the Scarsdale Hotel with a St Patrick’s Day theme. We are asked to arrive early to allow time for meals ordering meals.
On On
Mountie was excited to screw People Pleaser. She began with quotes seeking approval of man, then there was something about a straight path. While People Pleaser works at a school, it was noted that there was a shortage of chalk along the trail. Mountie also liked that we passed several streets with Prime Ministers names on them. People Pleaser was at a bar holding a piano with a tiny man. The bartender thinks this is amazing and asks, “Where did you get that?”, he responded that there is a Genie out the front with a magic lamp giving out wishes, but he’s hard of hearing. The bartender runs out and requests a million bucks. Suddenly the bar is full of a million ducks. People pleaser responds, “Do you think I asked for a 12-inch pianist”.
NBCL begins by noting the drone strike in the backyard and the cucumbers on offer from Bent Nose. Dumb was charged for something about the chairs, requiring us to sit down carefully. Mountie was charged for saying that People Pleaser wasn’t straight, when she has a gay haircut. Rowdy noted that People Pleaser was quite straight today. People pleaser and Riley were charged and advised to stay out of the way of stolen cars, as a result of their recent car accident. Jacob was charged with a shoey, made difficult as he was wearing thongs. Jus Cum was charged with another swearing song. Nutcracker and NBCL were charged as they had been to marriage counselling with Precious. Nutcracker complained that NBCL was working too much working, frequently picking his nose, and always wants to be on top. NBCL responded that he was following the advice of his Father who told him to work hard, keep his nose clean and don’t f%ck up. All the St Kinda supporters scored the next charge, so Mountie and Disco scored a drink. Following the Labour Day theme, Mountie was charged as she has not been in Labour, but somehow this rebounded on IC. Jus Cum was given the final charge, with another swearing song.
Next weeks run will be hosted by Pink Bits from the Scarsdale Hotel with a St Patrick’s Day theme. We are asked to arrive early to allow time for meals ordering meals.
On On
Sunday, March 1, 2026
RUN 2298 – Bad Hair Day – Ballarat East Bowling Club - Monday 2nd March 2026
The higher than usual cost for this weeks meal was repeatedly mentioned, even Half-a-bar put on his good attire. Welcome backs went to Bent Nose, Half-a-bar, Shafted, Spencer Hocking, Sparrow Fart, Gilf and new runner Cassy. Sniffy runs were awarded to Disco on 111, IC on 211, NBCL on 311 and Sparrow Fart on 33.
Bad Hair Day said he’d been waiting 25 years to be screwed by Mountie. But she’s sure that’s she’s done it before. All those wearing shirts with Bad Hair Day on them were called up for a down down. This included me, Mountie, Nummy, Shafted and Rowdy. Mountie quoted from her bible from the second book of kings with something about bald heads. Mountie was delighted with the run, lots of hills, 4 halts and no on backs. Bad Hair Day went to Nutcracker for a haircut, but it only cost $5, as there wasn’t much to cut. Then there was something about a biblical tale makes big gay men attend, but Normal wasn’t here.
NBCL began by contemplating the last week. He spoke of the former prince who thought that strippers were knocking on his door, but it turned out that they were real policemen. If one Andrew drinks, all Andrews drink. Followed by, if one pedo drinks, all pedo’s drink for Spencer Hocking. Andrew, Andrew, Andrew was then promoted to Prince, Prince, Prince. We were told that there’s a job going in the royal family. Andrew was heard to say that Half-a-bar looked smart. Half-a-bar is not. Among the ruckus of this weeks circle I made out something about Gilf having nice calves. Next, there was a story about a crisis at a primary school and Spencer Hocking was asked to explain. He’d been at a Geelong primary school trying to entice kids into his car with apples. Nah, he was actually giving his grandson an apple for snack. There were charges for Mrs D, who was sent the wrong date and location for Nice Members gig. Mountie came home to find Pus Bucket naked on the floor. She said “happy anniversary” and he responded, “Oh, is it?” Mountie and Pus Bucket were out for a drink and admired a lovely old couple also having a few drinks. Oh, isn’t that lovely, I hope that one day we are just like them. Turns out they were looking in a mirror. Half-a-bar was charged for being a merino sheep farmer, but still wearing that suit and Nummy was charged for needing IT help from Pink Bits. New runner Cassy was charged for getting moist and if one ranga drinks, all ranga’s drink. Drinks went to Cassy, Cinderella, Disco, Bad Hair Day, Rowdy and Mrs Dickhead. Nice Member was trying to get his charge recognised. We indicated that he needed to put his hand up above his head, so he borrowed a can from a nearby hasher to put on his head to charge Pigs Arse for posting the wrong gig details. Sparrow fart was charged for saying she likes it warm and moist and Precious was charged for his car accident, ruining the preferred transport for the Dickhead team. Mountie was charged for standing on her bible and there was a no hash gear charge for Andrew/Prince and Half-a-bar. Disco was charged for having gonorrhea, his pants are a disco inferno. Bad Hair Day was provided with hair by Cassy, to remember the glory days. While Deep Heat provided a grey make over. Cassy was asked who made her come? Cinderella. When asked was it as good as she hoped. She answered, “it was amazing”. And once again, all rangas drank including Nice Member this time. Precious also asked everyone (again) to bring their awards back.
Next weeks run will be hosted by People Pleaser from his home at 16 Webster St, Sebastopol.
On On
Bad Hair Day said he’d been waiting 25 years to be screwed by Mountie. But she’s sure that’s she’s done it before. All those wearing shirts with Bad Hair Day on them were called up for a down down. This included me, Mountie, Nummy, Shafted and Rowdy. Mountie quoted from her bible from the second book of kings with something about bald heads. Mountie was delighted with the run, lots of hills, 4 halts and no on backs. Bad Hair Day went to Nutcracker for a haircut, but it only cost $5, as there wasn’t much to cut. Then there was something about a biblical tale makes big gay men attend, but Normal wasn’t here.
NBCL began by contemplating the last week. He spoke of the former prince who thought that strippers were knocking on his door, but it turned out that they were real policemen. If one Andrew drinks, all Andrews drink. Followed by, if one pedo drinks, all pedo’s drink for Spencer Hocking. Andrew, Andrew, Andrew was then promoted to Prince, Prince, Prince. We were told that there’s a job going in the royal family. Andrew was heard to say that Half-a-bar looked smart. Half-a-bar is not. Among the ruckus of this weeks circle I made out something about Gilf having nice calves. Next, there was a story about a crisis at a primary school and Spencer Hocking was asked to explain. He’d been at a Geelong primary school trying to entice kids into his car with apples. Nah, he was actually giving his grandson an apple for snack. There were charges for Mrs D, who was sent the wrong date and location for Nice Members gig. Mountie came home to find Pus Bucket naked on the floor. She said “happy anniversary” and he responded, “Oh, is it?” Mountie and Pus Bucket were out for a drink and admired a lovely old couple also having a few drinks. Oh, isn’t that lovely, I hope that one day we are just like them. Turns out they were looking in a mirror. Half-a-bar was charged for being a merino sheep farmer, but still wearing that suit and Nummy was charged for needing IT help from Pink Bits. New runner Cassy was charged for getting moist and if one ranga drinks, all ranga’s drink. Drinks went to Cassy, Cinderella, Disco, Bad Hair Day, Rowdy and Mrs Dickhead. Nice Member was trying to get his charge recognised. We indicated that he needed to put his hand up above his head, so he borrowed a can from a nearby hasher to put on his head to charge Pigs Arse for posting the wrong gig details. Sparrow fart was charged for saying she likes it warm and moist and Precious was charged for his car accident, ruining the preferred transport for the Dickhead team. Mountie was charged for standing on her bible and there was a no hash gear charge for Andrew/Prince and Half-a-bar. Disco was charged for having gonorrhea, his pants are a disco inferno. Bad Hair Day was provided with hair by Cassy, to remember the glory days. While Deep Heat provided a grey make over. Cassy was asked who made her come? Cinderella. When asked was it as good as she hoped. She answered, “it was amazing”. And once again, all rangas drank including Nice Member this time. Precious also asked everyone (again) to bring their awards back.
Next weeks run will be hosted by People Pleaser from his home at 16 Webster St, Sebastopol.
On On
Sunday, February 22, 2026
RUN 2297 – Dim Wit – Unwin Winery - Monday 23rd February 2026
We began our circle with an acknowledgment to the local landowner and an unanswered call for Michael to join us for a down down. Welcomes backs went to Pebbles, Criss Cross, Fascinator, Tommy, Riley and new runner Jacob. Sniffy runs went to Nutcracker on 424 and Fascinator on 269.
Mounties screw was full of shit about Dim Wit. Her bible had lots of quotes about fools. The run was predicted to go clockwise or anticlockwise but surprised us all by going up and down through varied environments, grape vines, grassy paddocks and through the Christmas trees. Dumb and dumber was in court facing drug charges. While awaiting sentencing he was asked to try to convince people to not take drugs. He drew 2 circles one bigger and one smaller, he tried to convince people by saying if you take drugs, your brain becomes the smaller circle. He tried again and said that the circle represents your anus, this time, the bigger circle represents the size of your anus in jail if you get caught with drugs.
Dim Wits joke. What has balls and screws old ladies?....Bingo. Followed by a related joke. How do you get old ladies to say f%ck?..... Get the lady next to her to her to say Bingo.
NBCL began by talking about Renob. He was late arriving because he was trying to get a close up of the horizon. Michael was again called to the front, but was nowhere to be found so Dim Wit, you’ll do. We were told that it takes a while to mature good wine. The question was asked, why don’t you just start with raisons? Renob was asked if he practices safe sex? He answered yes, he has a rail around the bed. Dim Wit was charged for telling us that he didn’t have enough flour for two H’s, but the H he drew was huge, there would have been plenty of flour if he’s drawn smaller H’s. Mountie was a at funeral and had forgotten to silence her phone. Just as they were taking the corpse out, it went off with “oh when the saint’s go March in”. Dumb’n’dumber was charged for something stupid, and all the Essendon supporters were charged again. Following on from last week we acknowledged Pancake Day or as I was told, Shrove Tuesday. All the Catholics were called for a down down. Hush Puppy was charged for the BBQ fire last week, IC called out “she’s not here”, so he scored the drink. Dumb’n’dumber was charged for Shafted calling and wondering where we were, he was at the wrong location and Mrs D was charged for not dancing last Saturday night. Dim Wit was charged for giving up flour for lent and Pigs Arse was charged for forgetting to message Pink Bits where Ice Ember was playing until after the gig. Little Tommy (Pigs Arse’s son) was charged for being a great runner, this was corrected to young Tommy, as little was not working. Nutcracker and NBCL were charged in memory of their Hash wedding and Mastabait and Mountie were charged for their matching shirts. Rowdy was charged for his commando roll during the run and Deep Heat was charged for setting off the very long beep during his arrival. Jus cum was charged by Lois, for a joke about bulls at the cattle yards. She was admiring the bull that had mated 150 times in a year and the bull that had mated 365 times. Spartacus was said to have answered “but did he sleep with same old cow every time?”
Next weeks run will be hosted by Bad Hair Day from the Ballarat East Bowling Club, Bradshaw Street, Golden Point, where there will be a $25 fee for the run and dinner.
Precious also reminded everyone (again) to bring their awards back asap.
On On
Mounties screw was full of shit about Dim Wit. Her bible had lots of quotes about fools. The run was predicted to go clockwise or anticlockwise but surprised us all by going up and down through varied environments, grape vines, grassy paddocks and through the Christmas trees. Dumb and dumber was in court facing drug charges. While awaiting sentencing he was asked to try to convince people to not take drugs. He drew 2 circles one bigger and one smaller, he tried to convince people by saying if you take drugs, your brain becomes the smaller circle. He tried again and said that the circle represents your anus, this time, the bigger circle represents the size of your anus in jail if you get caught with drugs.
Dim Wits joke. What has balls and screws old ladies?....Bingo. Followed by a related joke. How do you get old ladies to say f%ck?..... Get the lady next to her to her to say Bingo.
NBCL began by talking about Renob. He was late arriving because he was trying to get a close up of the horizon. Michael was again called to the front, but was nowhere to be found so Dim Wit, you’ll do. We were told that it takes a while to mature good wine. The question was asked, why don’t you just start with raisons? Renob was asked if he practices safe sex? He answered yes, he has a rail around the bed. Dim Wit was charged for telling us that he didn’t have enough flour for two H’s, but the H he drew was huge, there would have been plenty of flour if he’s drawn smaller H’s. Mountie was a at funeral and had forgotten to silence her phone. Just as they were taking the corpse out, it went off with “oh when the saint’s go March in”. Dumb’n’dumber was charged for something stupid, and all the Essendon supporters were charged again. Following on from last week we acknowledged Pancake Day or as I was told, Shrove Tuesday. All the Catholics were called for a down down. Hush Puppy was charged for the BBQ fire last week, IC called out “she’s not here”, so he scored the drink. Dumb’n’dumber was charged for Shafted calling and wondering where we were, he was at the wrong location and Mrs D was charged for not dancing last Saturday night. Dim Wit was charged for giving up flour for lent and Pigs Arse was charged for forgetting to message Pink Bits where Ice Ember was playing until after the gig. Little Tommy (Pigs Arse’s son) was charged for being a great runner, this was corrected to young Tommy, as little was not working. Nutcracker and NBCL were charged in memory of their Hash wedding and Mastabait and Mountie were charged for their matching shirts. Rowdy was charged for his commando roll during the run and Deep Heat was charged for setting off the very long beep during his arrival. Jus cum was charged by Lois, for a joke about bulls at the cattle yards. She was admiring the bull that had mated 150 times in a year and the bull that had mated 365 times. Spartacus was said to have answered “but did he sleep with same old cow every time?”
Next weeks run will be hosted by Bad Hair Day from the Ballarat East Bowling Club, Bradshaw Street, Golden Point, where there will be a $25 fee for the run and dinner.
Precious also reminded everyone (again) to bring their awards back asap.
On On
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