Run #2211

 Welcome to Run #2211 Cinderella/ Randolph from The Cattle Yard Inn

The circle started by welcoming Max, the virgin, and Joy-Bell and Steam - Shoes (who has ran ‘around 2034 runs with Peninsula Hash!) 

Num Num came forwards to do her thang, 

Non Stick - Hare stick to the front of the pack, not thinking about the rest of us at all! 

Hydrophobic - Plenty of water on the ground but no rain! 

Low friction - No falling while on trail but virgin Max did jump a fence, his own fence, to get a beer mid run. 

Chemical Inertness - We tried to attack the hare (who was up the front) with very little success. 

Low Water Absorption - Minimal marking on trail, possibly because of the water underfoot. But surely you should have access to plenty of chalk with a teacher as a mother?! 

4/6 booooo

Very low 

Then the lovely Bent Nose stepped into the circle, dressed in his fancy Sargent fit and called upon young Carpet Bags, or Burns. No one knows! Apparently she is desperate for hares, so desperate that she was seen humping Normal in hopes of a favour. 

Our GM, Teflon, had been praying to SS, the Religious Advisor this week for the safe return of the Book. SS came through and brought her home. 

I was told Nummy is very excited to take that box home now! And Spencer Hocking claims that Rats Arse has a bigger one at home. 

Someone noticed that Oscar Piastri was present at circle, and then a sporting joke was made… 

Someone dobbed Normal in for being a cunt on trail and not calling correctly, but I wasn’t surprised! 

Disco was charged for putting darts in his head like our pub mates, Mountie was charged for drinking too much. But that does feel a bit hypocritical at hash… 

Carpet Burns and Doodle Nuts were charged for only walking 600 meters, Nut Bush and Nut Cracker were charged for being DILDO’s (Double income, little dog owners). And Vanessa was charged for claiming she’s cutting back her drinking, then jumping right into the drink stop.  

Next Weeks Run  

Christmas in July from the Den (City Oval Club Rooms!) 

Dress in your best!  

Run #2210

 Welcome to Run #2210 Spartacus from Irish Murphy’s

We welcomed back Hashers: 

Puss Bucket, Nurse Batshit and Dr Death.  

The Seated Circle welcome Num Num out to screw,

The Run was non stick because normal was our leader and he walked us into a Massage Parlour, thank god no one screamed!

It was bloody cold, Heat Resistant for sure!

We had no Chemical Attacks while exploring Time Zone.

Lots of Water, must be Hydrophobic. 

6 out of FUCKING 6.

After the Screw we all looked to our Sargent who did not have one fucking charge from the run. SHAME! So Nummy stole his thunder, she reminded us how when the old men of hash entered the Massage Parlour, they were back out within 10 seconds… interesting that…?

The circle sang to the pair of 25 year olds, then i drank some more… 

I have memory of the Richmond Theme Song… Rear Entry Must have been around. 

I was on the floor. 

Next Weeks Run Cinderella/ Randolph from Cattle Yards. 

ON ON 

Run # 2209

 Welcome to Run #2209 Ms Dickhead from The Royal Mail Hotel 

The circle began with GM telling us all to form a cue before Carpet Burns, she has plenty of holes needing to be filled. 

Please let her know what runs you can hare, she is getting desperate!  

Num Num was chomping at the bit to screw Ms D: 

Non stick - Dog shit on trail, was it Big Dog? Who’s to say? 

Moist conditions led to low water absorption, 

Low friction - the dog shit made it grippy 

Heat Resistant - So god damn cold, but Teflon is also resistant to freezing, lucky us!  

Boner would have walked further if he wasn’t getting so wet - Low water Absorption 

I forget the rest! 

6/6

We welcomed back hashers:  

Bent Nose, BP, Spartacus, Donuts, Spencer Hocking.

We also acknowledged the passing of Bent Noses mum, we are all behind you xx 

I had too much fun during this circle, so you’ll never know what went down.

In place of a failed attempt of a Mystery Bus Trip, we will have a Christmas in July run July 29th, keep your eyes posted.  

ON ON 

Run #2208

 Welcome to Run #2208 Pink Bits and Vanessa from the Flying Horse 

We started with welcome backs, 

Plucker, Wendy, Big Dog, Her Vag, FOP, and Pebbles. 

GM gave his sad announcement that the Mystery bus Trip that had been penciled in for 29/7 is now canceled. But a new and better trip is being planned!

The circle took a moment to remember Heavy who we lost 9 years ago before Num Num came forwards to screw me!

Non Stick - Didn’t stick to the trail and got lost, 

Low friction - slowing down moving objects Mountie went over some humps, my lovely lady lumps and slowed her down, 

Heat resistant - no heat out there at all!  

Chemical intentness - someone by the name of Rodger took a few of the younger hash people off to the side, did a piss with them, attacking them with piss? It was Hydrophobic, Homophobic it was RODGER! Lucky no one got attacked, no one got Rodgered.  

Low Water Absorption - Everyone is wet!  

5/6

The stand in Sargent had some funny thing to say but i had already had a charge by this time so my notes are worse than usual (and they are usually bad!) 

Wendy, Doodle Nuts and Disco all don’t know how to swing low. Then Wendy showed us all her premature drinking trick.

Big Dog become a dog dad, Mountie used her old person card for a discounted meal, I was finally able to lose Boner/Renob on trail, and Campaspe was a kiss ass by driving Rowdy home.   

Someone made a sports person reference abut Daicos brothers, but we have Dickhead brothers here, I am so confused! 

Keeper of the Book or GM fucked up again, none noticed Head Hunters 250 Runs or Immaculate Conceptions 125. SHAME! 

Nutsy fell for the classic stitch up, again… 

Next Weeks Run will be Ms Dickhead from The Royal Mail Hotel Sebas. 

ON ON 

Run #2207

Welcome to run #2207 Committee run from The Bunch of Grapes. 

We welcomed Juz Cum, Spartacus, Tahlia, Daniel back and let them drink with our virgin, Michael. 
The Sargent then asked the circle who’s significant run it was… apparently it was a huge number… a hash man… who we all loved and respected… 
By then we all knew it wasnt Bent Nose, so it must have been SS! 1900 RUNS!!! 

Teflon had the maths prepared: 
SS had ran 1900 runs in just over 41 years.
First run was run #8 on 30 May 1983. 
Attendance rate 86%(1900/2207)
If SS had an average of 3 beers at each hash night he would have consumed 5700 stubbies or 2137 litres of beer. 
If SS had run/walked a conservative average of 4 kms at each hash he would have travelled over 7600 kms just at Ballarat hash nights.
(equivalent to Sydney to Perth- and back again)
SS and the oldies of Hash spent some time retailing stories from the 80’s, and hash runs from the beginning. We also all got a shock to find out the story of SS’s name,which is not originally SS?! If you want to know, come along for SS’s 2000th run! 

Num Num came out to screw Disco and Precious (This screw has the lowest average age so far!)
Precious was quick to remind Num that Disco had set all the ‘bad bits’ which must have included the dead possum. 
Low Friction - The possum didn’t chase anyone 
Heat Resistant - SS (Sunshine Slit) is here, but there was no sunshine! 
Chemical Inertness - The possum was not likely to attack 
Hydrophobic - No water!
Non-stick - Num was the only one to trip (was she pushed?)
Everyone was able to find trail easily, except for Boner/ Renob who was keeping in theme and moonwalking the trail like he was still in the 80’s.
16/6 (Who knows why?)

The only thing to note I have listed was the naming of our virgin, son of Vanessa. 
The man formally known as Michael, is now a hash man known as Deakin. 
We are all very proud to have SS in our club, you are a good hash man SS. Can’t wait to see you make 2000 runs. 

Next weeks run (tomorrow)
Pink Bits and Vanessa from Flying Horse Bistro! (You should all know what the dress code is…? PINK)
ON ON 

Run #2206

 Welcome to Run #2206 Mountie from Mt. Xavier Golf Club 

The circle started by reflecting on the past week, the committee had a midweek meeting to plan exciting events for the coming year (details to come!) and our lovely GM has proposed a new award!! The Brownlow of Blockheads will be awarded on Brownlow night, votes will be collected and collated weekly. So everyone better be on their best, or worse, behaviour until then!. 

Campaspe received her 200 run vest, as we all forgot her during the AGM :( 

Num Num came forwards to screw Mountie and we all got very excited! 

Low Friction: its a golf course, plenty of people almost ended up in holes. 

Low Water Absorption: Thank god there was no water in those holes!

Heat Resistant: Everyone got frost bite, brrrrr. 

Chemical Inertness: The front runners were attacked by a kangaroo

Non Stick: Cinderella fell, twice… 

Hydrophobic: Homophobic… Cinderella fell twice! 

6/6 yay! 

All hashers with alliterative names were charged, there goes all the beer.  

Immaculate Conception has been known for telling bad jokes every week but is now taking on the role of fortune teller, as he predicked Cinderellas great falls. 

Campaspe was charged for curing cancer or something…? 

Mountie was charged for her DNF and her fall, didn’t bounce like Cinderella did. 

Rowdy also DNF but was less funny. 

GM Teflon and GILF were charged for doing the nasty for 10 years! 

Precious was charged for his multitasking skills of being fill in grog master, and being funny! 

Spencer Hocking has stoped caring about numbers so i charged him and his palindromic friends, 123 runs for Immaculate Conception, 444 runs for GILF and 50 runs for Cinderella.

At this point Renob returned, yay! 

Next weeks run, Committee Run! Bunch of Grapes on Pleasant Street. 80’s theme for SS’s 1900th run! 

Pencil it in: July 29 mystery bus tour, details to come 

Run #2205

 Welcome to Run #2205, 

We made this circle quick as dinner was on its way! 

Num Num came to screw the GM for his Committee Run, 

Nummy asked Carpet Burns to hold the score card as we all know Carpet Burns had very little FRICTION! (Unless its a shag) 

Carpet Burns is also NON STICK and ABSORBS very little water. 

Nummy claims that there was a CHEMICAL ATTACK, as Vanessa was taken down by a blackberry bush mid run and bleed out the whole way home. 

No one fell over, but that was only because Mountie wasn’t here. 

The run was HEAT RESISTANT if you dressed correctly. 

No rain! 

GM guessed 5/6, and was right! 

The committee were charged first, and we drank all the beer. Just kidding! Sort of… 

We welcomed people back (after the screw, who knows why) 

Deep Heat, Carpet Burns, D&C, Doddle Nuts and Big Dog. 

The Sargent came forwards (with 11 minutes to spare) and said some things.

Squizzy was charged for looking like a 1970’s porn star, then we noticed that Deep Heat was matching! I think I’ve seen that video… Yuck! 

Dumb was charged for sitting in the circle but the charge was rebounded as per his namesake.      

Nut Cracker charged Big Dog for buying some new puppies for his Wolfpack. 

Precious charged Pigs Arse for a run two weeks ago, but Pigs Arse wasn’t there so Cinderella took the drink.  

Bent Nose charged GILF because her teeth got too cold on the walk, Bent offered helpful advice, “Close your fucking mouth, that’ll help” 

Someone asked what GILF’s job was on the committee, it’s either security or transport as she makes the GM cum to Hash. 

Vanessa was charged for being influenced by Pink Bits and having pink hair after the school colour run. 

Squizzy was charged for being premature on trail and was very keen for a sing. As we all laughed, I heard Immaculate Conception confuse ‘premature’ and ‘immaculate’ which I think says a lot about his personality.

Next weeks (tomorrow’s) run is Mountie from Mt Xavier Golf Course 118 Fortune Street. 

ON ON