Sniffies:
Teflon's birthday
People Pleaser charged for Winter existing.
Welcome backs:
Cat Flaps
Teflon
GILF
Pus Bucket
Screw by NBCL:
I love a sunburnt country, with droughts and flooding rains. Beautiful night for a run. Contender for Shithouse Run of the Year.
IC
Can do quick, maybe funny. He attended a trivia at night at Aunty Jacks. One question asked what was the fastest man-made object. The answer told of a satellite NASA had crashed into Jupiter. Clearly the person who wrote the question hadn’t seen Bad Hair Day at a drink stop when someone asks, “who wants a traveller?”. PP charged for befittingly theatrical weather.
Mountie charged Precious for taking off during run again to piss.
Cinderella charged Jus Cum because she was about to get blown.
Pigs Arse charged Bad Hair Day and Pink Bits for whinging on the run. Rebounded as he was actually on the walk.
Lois charged for rubbing wet bits on Pink Bits.
Precious charged Pink Bits to sing a song for SS. Sweet Chariot sang for SS.
Tommy charged for being late.
Bad hair day charged for mouth farting.
Next week’s run will be from Meaghers Hotel, 194 Victoria St, Ballarat East VIC 3350
Sunday, May 31, 2026
Sunday, May 17, 2026
A.I assisted. 18.5.3026 Run 2309 Grapes hotel Hare. Boner
IM addressed the circle outside. “We have returned to the Grapes and I propose that Boner be referred to as the Wizard of Oz as there is no place like home”!. Much laughter from the group.
Boner addresses the group with instructions. “ there are distinct and separate trail for runners and walkers.
AI interpretation. “ the speaker is confused and frustrated about the trail instructions expressing strong negative emotions”.
Back to the pub Quick dick
addressed the circle
A.I interpretation.
I commend the hare for the trail set . Innovative display specifically the distinct arrows and designated paths for both walkers and runners. While some minor refinements may be necessary, the overall concept is highly regarded.
Runners arriving before the walkers. Well executed!..
First drink stop served a poignant tribute to a departed harsher at Faulkner street. Thoughtful and moving gesture. On on SS
Drink stops were exemplary featuring a selection of refreshments and nutritional snacks.
Welcome backs.
Nutcracker, NBCL,D &C, Spartacus,Jus Cum, Pauline, Sue , Headhunt and Carpet burns.
Significunt runs.
Campaspe. 299
I.C. 222
Quick Dick. 323
Birthday celebrations. Nutcracker. Turned 21 yet pension application disputes this info. Congratulations.
Charges. Sue. Attended last weeks venue thinking possible error in her destination. It was clarified she arrived at the correct location but unable to locate the group, she left. The group were in the back room
Num Num charged Normal. Whilst cleaning out her cabinet ( sounds like the Liberal party) she found a sign that said” JOHN IS GAY”. And wondered if this was true?. Group agreed in the truth of this information and much laughter was had by all.
IM charged Carpet burns for going to Bunnings to get a Polish sausage. A.I interpretation. Lucky there are lots of Polish men at Bunnings
Deep Heat charged for looking good.
Lois lane charged. A I Unable to decipher. Sounds like” I must come! Good job!! TAKE IT AWAY.
Next weeks run. Yet to be decided.
A.I interpretation. All shall be revealed in the fullness of time.
On On
Sunday, May 10, 2026
Run 2308 11/05/2026 -Bent Nose from the Bunch of Grapes Hotel
GM, Pig's Arse stated that he had changed committee name to Team Dickhead. He also forgot to appoint a stand in Grog Master. This role was graciously filled by Mrs Dickhead.
Welcome Backs:
Fascinator and Mrs D
Sniffies:
No Name 22,
Precious 383,
Pig's Arse 59 (not 69),
Cinderella 121,
Mrs D 900; received a shirt,
Num 869,
Nice Member 22,
Boner 101; received a cup,
Pink Bits 202.
Screw by Quick Dick:
Award Bent will be up for is the Kettle; saying the committee was shit. Start of run looked like a tour of where Bent takes his dates; the drains, then Vic Park. Wasn’t much run after Vic Park. Long checks were challenging and likely a result of cost of living as Bent didn’t wanna waste chalk. Run ended up in the dark in the middle of nowhere. Drink stop came to the runners. Though, there was some weird gluten free shit.
Sergeant IC:
Runners got lost on the way to the drink stop. Walkers got lost on the way home. He then charged Mrs D with a happy Mother’s Day. Though, IC should be keeping his distance as Mrs D just got off a cruise. All Dickheads and mothers were then charged.
Lois charged by Rowdy as she came on her own.
Nummy charged Beer F*ck for puking everywhere at the Royal Oak.
Beer F*ck was charged for riding scooter.
Quick Dick charged Lois. Lois said Gwyneth Paltrow has candle that smells like her vagina, Lois has never been close enough to smells hers.
Mountie charged Precious for going back to the pub for a toilet stop. Cinderella attempted to double charge as precious stated he needed to stop home to go again however, Mrs D was already occupying the facilities.
Fascinator had been concerned that the committee might take on his adage of 'I may have fcked up', instead they just need to take a sht.
Casual relief Grog Mistress, Mrs D and PP doing 3 jobs were both charged.
Next week's run is Boner/Renob from The Grapes Hotel,
121 Grant St, Golden Point. I have it on good authority that there will be a decent walking trail.
PP,
On on
Welcome Backs:
Fascinator and Mrs D
Sniffies:
No Name 22,
Precious 383,
Pig's Arse 59 (not 69),
Cinderella 121,
Mrs D 900; received a shirt,
Num 869,
Nice Member 22,
Boner 101; received a cup,
Pink Bits 202.
Screw by Quick Dick:
Award Bent will be up for is the Kettle; saying the committee was shit. Start of run looked like a tour of where Bent takes his dates; the drains, then Vic Park. Wasn’t much run after Vic Park. Long checks were challenging and likely a result of cost of living as Bent didn’t wanna waste chalk. Run ended up in the dark in the middle of nowhere. Drink stop came to the runners. Though, there was some weird gluten free shit.
Sergeant IC:
Runners got lost on the way to the drink stop. Walkers got lost on the way home. He then charged Mrs D with a happy Mother’s Day. Though, IC should be keeping his distance as Mrs D just got off a cruise. All Dickheads and mothers were then charged.
Lois charged by Rowdy as she came on her own.
Nummy charged Beer F*ck for puking everywhere at the Royal Oak.
Beer F*ck was charged for riding scooter.
Quick Dick charged Lois. Lois said Gwyneth Paltrow has candle that smells like her vagina, Lois has never been close enough to smells hers.
Mountie charged Precious for going back to the pub for a toilet stop. Cinderella attempted to double charge as precious stated he needed to stop home to go again however, Mrs D was already occupying the facilities.
Fascinator had been concerned that the committee might take on his adage of 'I may have fcked up', instead they just need to take a sht.
Casual relief Grog Mistress, Mrs D and PP doing 3 jobs were both charged.
Next week's run is Boner/Renob from The Grapes Hotel,
121 Grant St, Golden Point. I have it on good authority that there will be a decent walking trail.
PP,
On on
Sunday, May 3, 2026
Run 2307 04/05/2026 -Criss Cross from Platypus Drive
Welcome Back:
Beer F*ck, Cassie
Sniffies:
Boner 101
Num 868
Nice Member 21
People Pleaser 55
Pink Bits was presented with 200 runs shirt 'committee shirt in progress'. Late because of GM’s ‘dickhead brother’.
Screw by Quick Dick:
Started with a Star Wars theme. CC pushed through the GM and took over; not allowing GM to get a word in.
There will be no third place due to limited number of people. Granted the eco friendly award due to the sparsity of markings on trail. There was only one drink stop rather than the handful that had been promised. CC was calling his own trail and even called runners back to do an on back.
There was a halt in middle although Rowdy played the hero by calling a halt 10 feet from the marked one. Then he went on to call Nummy, ‘Yum Yum’.
We can’t wait for the other four drink stops. Runners gave a a thumbs up or down for the run. Sparrow Fart had no comment. Campaspe sucking up to hare.
GM attempted to charge QD because he'd called the Dickheads irrelevant. This rebounded.
Sergeant was worried about brining car to Mount Clear as it would get confused with any other shit-box white commodore.
He then charged Beer F*ck as resident musician and Pink Bits for snoring in time with the dog. Nice Member was then charged for rivalling BF's band. BF won with a song.
Pink Bits charged Mountie for Stag being a member of 'the other cricket club'.
Mountie charged Campaspe for seeking pussy at the sewage farm.
CC was charged for nailing masks to trees. Next run in the area will have an 'on back at the dead tree'.
Cinderella charged IC for his double fisting of soup and beer. Cinderella then demonstrated the correct hand position.
Campaspe was charged because CC likes flora and fauna and Murray cod are coming back and may be found in Campaspe.
Interim Grog Master, Teflon was charged for pouring too much beer.
Pebbles charged all former GMs.
Next week's run is Bent Nose from the Bunch of Grapes Hotel, 401 Pleasant Street, Ballarat Central.
PP
On on.
Beer F*ck, Cassie
Sniffies:
Boner 101
Num 868
Nice Member 21
People Pleaser 55
Pink Bits was presented with 200 runs shirt 'committee shirt in progress'. Late because of GM’s ‘dickhead brother’.
Screw by Quick Dick:
Started with a Star Wars theme. CC pushed through the GM and took over; not allowing GM to get a word in.
There will be no third place due to limited number of people. Granted the eco friendly award due to the sparsity of markings on trail. There was only one drink stop rather than the handful that had been promised. CC was calling his own trail and even called runners back to do an on back.
There was a halt in middle although Rowdy played the hero by calling a halt 10 feet from the marked one. Then he went on to call Nummy, ‘Yum Yum’.
We can’t wait for the other four drink stops. Runners gave a a thumbs up or down for the run. Sparrow Fart had no comment. Campaspe sucking up to hare.
GM attempted to charge QD because he'd called the Dickheads irrelevant. This rebounded.
Sergeant was worried about brining car to Mount Clear as it would get confused with any other shit-box white commodore.
He then charged Beer F*ck as resident musician and Pink Bits for snoring in time with the dog. Nice Member was then charged for rivalling BF's band. BF won with a song.
Pink Bits charged Mountie for Stag being a member of 'the other cricket club'.
Mountie charged Campaspe for seeking pussy at the sewage farm.
CC was charged for nailing masks to trees. Next run in the area will have an 'on back at the dead tree'.
Cinderella charged IC for his double fisting of soup and beer. Cinderella then demonstrated the correct hand position.
Campaspe was charged because CC likes flora and fauna and Murray cod are coming back and may be found in Campaspe.
Interim Grog Master, Teflon was charged for pouring too much beer.
Pebbles charged all former GMs.
Next week's run is Bent Nose from the Bunch of Grapes Hotel, 401 Pleasant Street, Ballarat Central.
PP
On on.
Sunday, April 26, 2026
27 April 2026, Run 2306 Hare Nummy Nummy Num Num, from the Park Hotel.
A run from the Park Hotel at the end of a glorious weekend, celebrating beautiful Autumn weather, the Ballarat Marathon festival, the footy and ANZAC Day commemorations.
We set off after a welcome to (country) Alfredton, with a 4 km loop past the Arch of Victory, through Vic Park to the Olympic rings, across to the POW memorial via the tramway museum and ending in a well stocked drink stop.
Back at the Park, the GM commenced proceedings with sniffy runs, of which there were a number, but managed to come without his important props; so BoneRenoB will have to wait until next week for his ceremonial 100 run goblet. He did get a Tshirt. Lois Lane celebrated run number 1111, and rather belatedly Pink Bits was acknowledged for run number 200. Well done, but it was really funny watching Pinky almost explode with excitement prior to her presentation, then snorking with relief once her time had come. Get a Life
GILF and GOLF. Either I missed the welcomes back, or the GM did, however Gilf and Teflon reappeared after some time away. I suspect the reason for attendance was so Teflon could tell all that Gilf won some golden spurs while seated on her horse. He seemed proud and happy. Not to be outdone, Nummy won her golf last Thursday, beating a full and high class field.
Not on the winners list was Essington, Lois asking if anyone could consult the Dead Sea Scrolls to find out just when the Dons last won an important footy match. Pigs Arse tried to deflect attention away from his poor planning by singing the Essington song, but consensus was that the buck stopped well and truly with him, and will for the next 12 months.
The Screw has settled seamlessly into his role. Quick Dick calculated that as the run was set during the marathon, it should have taken Nummy 12 minutes from start to finish, based on the London world record pace. I think Dumb slowed her down. The old rusty screw from last year was incensed that Nummy was calling her own trail (Mountie, fuck off ya cu#t). Mention was made of the glimpse of the Arch, and the visit to the POW memorial. A strange trail mark consisting of an arrow inside a Halt led us into Vic Park, notable for medical advice re uppers and downers being sought, and a lonely parked car which seemed to be rocking. The engine was running, presumably so the aircon was on to prevent windows from fogging up.
Nummy was heard to muse upon the beauty of her lakeside trail, at least it was when the sun was shining. QD gave it a FANTASTIC rating. Shitty Trail.
It was pointed out that trail also passed the Honour Avenue for Ballarat’s Paralympians, obviously in Boner’s honour. publicly pissed on
The Sargeant is also showing promising signs early in his tenure. He commented the Pigs Arse week on / week off leadership fits in perfectly with his child minding duties, and reminisced about his school days with a paedophile teacher, musing how well groomed he was as a student.
Spence was charged for taking a short cut through Vic Park on the way to Hash, loitering, and probably to visit the parked car. Pinky asked Head Hunter for some tips around being a choir master, and ended up with a cat o nine tails to whip recalcitrants into shape. Ex GM Precious was discovered to have used creative accounting with his run numbers; subtracting for some reason.
Competitors on the weekend marathon festival were given a down down. IC was celebrated for being a Hash paragon, not training, and not giving up the grog Ar sol
Despite our pally ANZAC relationship, it was pointed out the the hash cash could not be balanced/banked due to a dodgy Kiwi coin in the tin, Build a bonfire
And that was about enough for everyone.
Next weeks run, on Star Wars Day, Hare Chris Cross, 14 Platypus Drive; park by his back gate in the Mt Clear Oval reserve.
We set off after a welcome to (country) Alfredton, with a 4 km loop past the Arch of Victory, through Vic Park to the Olympic rings, across to the POW memorial via the tramway museum and ending in a well stocked drink stop.
Back at the Park, the GM commenced proceedings with sniffy runs, of which there were a number, but managed to come without his important props; so BoneRenoB will have to wait until next week for his ceremonial 100 run goblet. He did get a Tshirt. Lois Lane celebrated run number 1111, and rather belatedly Pink Bits was acknowledged for run number 200. Well done, but it was really funny watching Pinky almost explode with excitement prior to her presentation, then snorking with relief once her time had come. Get a Life
GILF and GOLF. Either I missed the welcomes back, or the GM did, however Gilf and Teflon reappeared after some time away. I suspect the reason for attendance was so Teflon could tell all that Gilf won some golden spurs while seated on her horse. He seemed proud and happy. Not to be outdone, Nummy won her golf last Thursday, beating a full and high class field.
Not on the winners list was Essington, Lois asking if anyone could consult the Dead Sea Scrolls to find out just when the Dons last won an important footy match. Pigs Arse tried to deflect attention away from his poor planning by singing the Essington song, but consensus was that the buck stopped well and truly with him, and will for the next 12 months.
The Screw has settled seamlessly into his role. Quick Dick calculated that as the run was set during the marathon, it should have taken Nummy 12 minutes from start to finish, based on the London world record pace. I think Dumb slowed her down. The old rusty screw from last year was incensed that Nummy was calling her own trail (Mountie, fuck off ya cu#t). Mention was made of the glimpse of the Arch, and the visit to the POW memorial. A strange trail mark consisting of an arrow inside a Halt led us into Vic Park, notable for medical advice re uppers and downers being sought, and a lonely parked car which seemed to be rocking. The engine was running, presumably so the aircon was on to prevent windows from fogging up.
Nummy was heard to muse upon the beauty of her lakeside trail, at least it was when the sun was shining. QD gave it a FANTASTIC rating. Shitty Trail.
It was pointed out that trail also passed the Honour Avenue for Ballarat’s Paralympians, obviously in Boner’s honour. publicly pissed on
The Sargeant is also showing promising signs early in his tenure. He commented the Pigs Arse week on / week off leadership fits in perfectly with his child minding duties, and reminisced about his school days with a paedophile teacher, musing how well groomed he was as a student.
Spence was charged for taking a short cut through Vic Park on the way to Hash, loitering, and probably to visit the parked car. Pinky asked Head Hunter for some tips around being a choir master, and ended up with a cat o nine tails to whip recalcitrants into shape. Ex GM Precious was discovered to have used creative accounting with his run numbers; subtracting for some reason.
Competitors on the weekend marathon festival were given a down down. IC was celebrated for being a Hash paragon, not training, and not giving up the grog Ar sol
Despite our pally ANZAC relationship, it was pointed out the the hash cash could not be balanced/banked due to a dodgy Kiwi coin in the tin, Build a bonfire
And that was about enough for everyone.
Next weeks run, on Star Wars Day, Hare Chris Cross, 14 Platypus Drive; park by his back gate in the Mt Clear Oval reserve.
Sunday, April 19, 2026
Run 2305 20/04/2026 -Fascinator from The Stag Hotel, Learmonth
Welcome Backs:
The Bill, Deep Heat, Dimwit, Normal, Beer F*ck, Mimico, Her Fanny, and Pauline
Visitor:
Felicity Shagwell.
Virgin:
Jason who shares his name with every man his age.
Sniffies:
JusCum on 303, Jason on 1, Fascinator on 272, No Name on 21, Boner on 99.
Screw by Quick Dick:
First run of the year; it was the best of runs, it was the shittest of runs. Fascinator claimed the trail was cleared away by a street sweeper. This is BS as the marks are from 5 years ago. The Bill doesn’t remember much but knows this track backwards.
We wouldn’t want to offend the locals but there an apparently fewer degrees of separation in Learmonth than the usual 7. The runners encountered two generations of Nutcracker’s family. There was also a bleeding sheep. Yet where is Tommy Halfabar?
The drink stop had chips, lollies, and booze. Buxtons called, they said well done for so many people at the open house. It was then concluded that it was the shittest of runs and Fascinator needs to be out the state by the end of May.
Her Fanny, Mimico, and Beer F*ck’s Missus, Carmen, were late for their welcomes back.
Sergeant IC:
Learmonth. Not sure it’s water in the lake. Disco and Fascinator must have drank the whatever it is because look at em.
New Religious Advisor PP has started strong as we had good weather.
Choir mistress, Pink Bits showing up her predecessor by signing more songs with greater variety.
Hashy birthday Bad Hair Day. Pebbles acted as proxy.
GM, Pig’s Arse charged for giving late notice to Cinderella to be GM tonight.
Pigs Arse charged again as he and his Labour mates have sent squash balls to Canberra to Albo.
Why did the jelly bean go to school? It wanted to be a smartie.
Dimwit’s family moved to Washington DC. A USA hash song was taught to the circle. Lyrics to the tune of Take Me Out to the Ball Game.
Nutcracker then finally realised Felicity Shagwell is American and received a charge.
NBCL charged for being North Melbourne supporter and wearing PJs.
Felicity Shagwell was charged because she taught everyone a good song but Trump did not see fit to use it in his campaign.
Felicity Shagwell was charged again because Trump has been in office several times. New USA song. Incest Time in Texas.
Lois charged for attempting to make a charge from after the run when it was not yet time. She made her charge anyway from inside the circle. IC and Mrs D were charged because IC asked, “Do they commemorate ANZAC Day in NZ?” and Mrs D should have taught him better.
Service people of NZ were charged.
Lois was charged again but Pink Bits was whistling loudly. Cinderella was charged for being part of the new muppets cast.
Pauline charged for noticing that there was no flared base on a phallic object. IC and Pink Bits were both charged for the object being too small. Head Hunter charged for being a nurse seeing many an object lodged inside people.
F*ck Off Ya C*nt sang to Fascinator, who is moving to QLD.
Next week’s run is Num and Dumb from The Park Hotel Ballarat, 1615 Sturt Street, Alfredton.
Reluctantly,
PP
On On.
The Bill, Deep Heat, Dimwit, Normal, Beer F*ck, Mimico, Her Fanny, and Pauline
Visitor:
Felicity Shagwell.
Virgin:
Jason who shares his name with every man his age.
Sniffies:
JusCum on 303, Jason on 1, Fascinator on 272, No Name on 21, Boner on 99.
Screw by Quick Dick:
First run of the year; it was the best of runs, it was the shittest of runs. Fascinator claimed the trail was cleared away by a street sweeper. This is BS as the marks are from 5 years ago. The Bill doesn’t remember much but knows this track backwards.
We wouldn’t want to offend the locals but there an apparently fewer degrees of separation in Learmonth than the usual 7. The runners encountered two generations of Nutcracker’s family. There was also a bleeding sheep. Yet where is Tommy Halfabar?
The drink stop had chips, lollies, and booze. Buxtons called, they said well done for so many people at the open house. It was then concluded that it was the shittest of runs and Fascinator needs to be out the state by the end of May.
Her Fanny, Mimico, and Beer F*ck’s Missus, Carmen, were late for their welcomes back.
Sergeant IC:
Learmonth. Not sure it’s water in the lake. Disco and Fascinator must have drank the whatever it is because look at em.
New Religious Advisor PP has started strong as we had good weather.
Choir mistress, Pink Bits showing up her predecessor by signing more songs with greater variety.
Hashy birthday Bad Hair Day. Pebbles acted as proxy.
GM, Pig’s Arse charged for giving late notice to Cinderella to be GM tonight.
Pigs Arse charged again as he and his Labour mates have sent squash balls to Canberra to Albo.
Why did the jelly bean go to school? It wanted to be a smartie.
Dimwit’s family moved to Washington DC. A USA hash song was taught to the circle. Lyrics to the tune of Take Me Out to the Ball Game.
Nutcracker then finally realised Felicity Shagwell is American and received a charge.
NBCL charged for being North Melbourne supporter and wearing PJs.
Felicity Shagwell was charged because she taught everyone a good song but Trump did not see fit to use it in his campaign.
Felicity Shagwell was charged again because Trump has been in office several times. New USA song. Incest Time in Texas.
Lois charged for attempting to make a charge from after the run when it was not yet time. She made her charge anyway from inside the circle. IC and Mrs D were charged because IC asked, “Do they commemorate ANZAC Day in NZ?” and Mrs D should have taught him better.
Service people of NZ were charged.
Lois was charged again but Pink Bits was whistling loudly. Cinderella was charged for being part of the new muppets cast.
Pauline charged for noticing that there was no flared base on a phallic object. IC and Pink Bits were both charged for the object being too small. Head Hunter charged for being a nurse seeing many an object lodged inside people.
F*ck Off Ya C*nt sang to Fascinator, who is moving to QLD.
Next week’s run is Num and Dumb from The Park Hotel Ballarat, 1615 Sturt Street, Alfredton.
Reluctantly,
PP
On On.
Sunday, April 12, 2026
NEW COMMITTEE 2026
Grand Masters – Pigs Arse & Cinderella
Hash Cash – People Pleaser
Choir Master – Pink Bits
Trail Master – Precious
Sergeant – Immaculate Conception & Shafted
Screw – Quick Dick
Grog Master – Nutcracker
Keeper of Book – Campaspe
Scribe – Carpet Burns and Precious
Hash Flash – Pink Bits
Hash Horn – Cinderella
Religious Advisor – People Pleaser and Mountie
Messiah – Bad Hair Day
Hash Cash – People Pleaser
Choir Master – Pink Bits
Trail Master – Precious
Sergeant – Immaculate Conception & Shafted
Screw – Quick Dick
Grog Master – Nutcracker
Keeper of Book – Campaspe
Scribe – Carpet Burns and Precious
Hash Flash – Pink Bits
Hash Horn – Cinderella
Religious Advisor – People Pleaser and Mountie
Messiah – Bad Hair Day
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)