Wednesday, July 20, 2022

 

Run # 2098, 11 July 2022.
Quick Dick from that one band stand in between Golden City and Doveton Street… you know the one.
It’s time… for a scribe that is uploaded in a timely manner.
The run began from the not Titanic band stand. This venue had its pros and its cons. The pro was that they didn’t need to sink a ship for this specific band stand. The con was that it sat in the pale blue light of the Ballarat Liberal Party Headquarters. So, ever the action man, Pusbucket declared it time to move the down downs to the drink stop out the back of JK.
Wasting no time, Pusbucket did not engage in his signature preamble, partly due to the cold and partly due to the limited number of charges.
As such, the circle moved straight into the screw. In the absence of Campaspe, Mountie took over duties as the screw. Mountie noted that the hare himself was confused by the location of the run on Facebook. However, despite this shortcoming, Mountie designated the run as fantastic. Mountie noted that on the run, there was rampant discussion of DnC being on the front page of the newspaper. Mountie professed that she believed it was Nutcracker and DnC who were the “Oompa Loompa” things on the page, before Teflon pointed out that DnC is more of a page 3 kinda girl. Mountie concluded the screw by stating that she “quite enjoyed the run”. (Shitty Trail).
Pusbucket then began the charges with his own charge. He charged Precious and Bad Hair Day (he’s not here, Pusbucket will do). Pusbucket told of how Precious rubbed BHDs head and said “that feels like my missuses ass”. BHD then rubbed his own head and concurred “yeah it does feel like your missuses ass”. (20 toes).
Welcomes back for Teflon, GILF and Immaculate Conception, as well as a welcome to Dr FOP. And if one doctor drinks. (Get a life).
Pusbucket then called upon his Sergeant, Quick Dick, who, by his own admittance, wasn’t paying attention. He began by calling GILF, Normal and Her Vajesty out the front. Quick Dick stated that he was not aware of how poor the state of the walkers were and that he would need to have a discussion with them the next week about what an arrow looked like. (You’re stupid).
Criss Cross was charged for stopping at the check out the front of the sex store and being recognised. But Nutcracker was charged for stating that she had never been inside, even though various things from the store had been inside her. (no no no).
Head Hunter was charged for noticing that the runners and walkers arrived at the same time. A simultaneous climax, the first one that Quick Dick had ever achieved. Pennyfarthing also noted that she had asked Quick Dick why he was walking. Quick Dick stated it was because of a swollen foot, but Head Hunter clarified that it was more like 8 inches. Juscum was then charged for being the “fucking” female “fucking” version of Tommy “fucking” Half a Bar with her constant expletives. The final charge went to Teflon, who had been sailing on the weekend. “We used the engine, but it was still sailing”. (Mrs Murphy).
Next weeks run is out in Meredith.

 

Run # 2097, 4 July 2022.
Spartacus from the Golden City.
It is time… for the (less than) triumphant return of proper scribing. The run began from the Golden City hotel, but not before some Hash controversy. Beer on the book! It is unclear as to who spilt the beer, but eyewitness testimonies differ between Precious and Fascinator being the culprit. But one thing remains certain, someone (not may) has fucked up.
At the circle, welcomes back for Pebbles, DnC, Lois Lane, Plucka, Paul Bearer, Precious and Nurse Ratshit. (Get a life). It was also decided that it was time for the recognition of significant runs, with Precious’ 200th and Dumb and Dumbers 1300th both receiving their shirts. (Give us an aye). The Bill was also recognised, albeit for his decision to come back early after running up the Dana Street hill when nobody followed (You’re stupid).
The preamble continued with Hash deciding that the offender who got the book wet was Precious (no no no). Pusbucket then regaled Hash with a tale of being in the Aviary room and called out Num and Mountie because they had seen a Cockatoo in their lives. Pusbucket himself was bought out the front for picking the two hash tarts who had seen the smallest ones, while Lois was bought forward for seeing a Black Cockatoo. (She’s the meanest).
On to the Screw. Campaspe described the run as “long and thin” and applauded that there was down hill running for the first few kilometres. Campaspe noted that she did find the drink stop and thanked the RA for the lack of rain. (Shitty Trail).
Quick Dick took centre stage as the Sergeant and proceeded to charge Campaspe for putting her beer on the table with the book, which lead to beer and napkins everywhere. And if one doctor drinks… to which Rowdy was heard the state that he is “real doctor”. DnC was bought out the front for knocking over a pole early on the run and The Bill was charged for following the arrows and running straight up the middle of the Macca’s drive thru. (Mrs Murphy).
Mrs D was charged due her callousness on the run. When Precious was nearly hit by a bus, Juscum commented it missed him “by a hair”, to which Mrs D responded he has “A lot of hair”. Mrs D followed this with her sarcastic comment that Ballarat “needs more hairdresser” after passing many on the run and called Nutcracker out the front. (U.G.L.Y).
Dr Death was then bought out the front. The circle was told that during the barflies ever enlightening conversations, Dr Death told Pusbucket that Nurse Ratshithad won a game of bingo with a 69, and Dr Death was very interested in playing these bingo games. Mrs D was bought back out the front her reaction to the Precious predicament, with some hasher insisting they heard her state that it was okay because she had two more. Pauline and Lois were bought out on this train of thought, with Lois receiving a call from Pauline to say that the broke condoms had arrived. Lois then asked Pauline to please refer to the children by their names. (1 skin).