Matthew Gibney

Admin · 22 hrs

Run 1959 Troppo Run from the Lake View, hares Nutcracker and D & C

A warm, breezy night greeted a large crowd of tropically attired Hashers upstairs at the Lake View, where "The Team" was busily ticking off the bespoke shirts as the purchasers ascended. It is not known if Glider ordered a shirts as he failed to ascend, turned around and returned to Bendigo.

The run was yet another splendid sneaky Spencer spiral, circling around and through the suburb now known as Lake Wendouree to finish at the boat shed, where Monique presided behind the bar for the drink stop. But the boat failed to float. Most were warmer because of it.

Fascinator quickly handed over to Shafted, who reprised last weeks' song, with Dr Death. Sounded just like Nummy sang it 7 days ago. D & D sounded the same as well. Same song sheet, different song. His heart is in the right place.

Shafted couldn't screw the run as he also failed to ascend in time, but sang this weeks song, a lov-er-ly bastardisation of Cat Stevens' Moonshadow, to general amusement.

Mountie then fronted the throng, saying "I'm no good with a microphone", and demonstrating exactly what she meant.

1959 Nummy born, weighing 9 lb 10 oz (ouch!). Pimp also was born at 9 lb 10 oz. He kept on going. (Why was she born so Beautiful...)

Lego patented ( Nutcracker, Leg openings). The Bill complaining of a sore arse after a recent colonoscopy. Nummy was drinking again as a birthday girl, also Plucka, who had the pleasure of sleeping in Rowdy's bed for the big day and night.

Charges then to Captain Pugwash, Seaman Stains, and Roger the Cabin Boy.

"Why is BF wearing sea shells?" Because she has grown out of her B shells.

Charges from before the run: BF again for her Ballarat Cup efforts, Rowdy also for summat, the Hares for the issue with Glider and the stairs.

Fascinator grabbed the microphone, to confess yet again "I may have fucked up". Welcomes back then awarded to Sillic, Pimp, Dimwit and others, farewell from work to BF Pauline (Fuck off, ya c*nt....)

More charges from the cup, (the hat's brand new), Masturbate for failing to share his winning tips, more jokes, including one from Dimwit which was a disaster, and then back up the stairs for meals.

The last stragglers were booted out of the pub at around 10 pm, decided on another drink stop at the boot of Maxine's care, and were treated to a live show from the first floor. Unexpected but educational.

No idea where next week's run is nor who will set trail. Half a Bar is in Thailand and seems not at all interested.

Matthew Gibney

Admin · 12 hrs

Run 1958 Hare Donuts, from his place

A BUSH RUN !

A BUSH RUN !!

A BUSH RUN IS A GOOD RUN...

.... and Donuts delivered in spades. Perfect evening, interesting new trail, well stocked drink stop, good circle, BBQ meals, and a wonderful sunset with views of the stars wheeling across the darkening night sky set to the backdrop of Buninyong and Ballarat lights by night while a warming bonfire encouraged conversation and consumption.

13 runners ran a downhill clockwise loop through the Aussie bush, with a short walk/jog uphill to finish at the drink stop adjacent to the on on. All was well until Mountie asked where home was? Answer: 50 metres away where all those cars are parked. A short ride back to the Ranch saw the circle slowly commence.

Fascinator charged the returned runners, and the 1958 conceptions and deliveries (Num, Dumb, Teflon - Nummy Pus Bucket, Donuts) "Give me an AAA, Fuck off ya c*nts, You ought to be publicly pissed on".

Rowdy and D&D got a "smart arse " charge

Nummy screwed, said 1958 was a good year, then sang the Shafted sent song, to the tune of Freddy Mercury ("I love to ride my motor bike; I sometimes ride a Hash tart, too, and poke them with my spike") Dumb sang as well, seemed to be a slightly different song but his heart is in the right place.

Mountie fronted the circle to announce that Fascinator had fucked all her charges. Dr Shazza got an 'in the paper' charge.

Mountie then announced some very moving charges , embracing life in an extreme and holistic way, as only Hash can do well. NBCL could not attend as he was busy moving house, preparing the love shack after moving in with Nutcracker and a future full of happiness. Hearts melted. SS also had help moving into his new house, only to find his good, lifelong friend who assisted died suddenly the next day. Funeral this week.

After all that we descended into a series of frankly awful jokes. Where are you, Dimwit? Come back, we really miss you!

Glider went on with a Dr joke about nobs, Mountie a series of baker/donuts jokes, Bent with a better one about fading memory; "where did we eat last night, Rose?", followed up with a long winded German plane crash of a joke, to be outdone by Fascinator who retold one not worth retelling.

Dumb and Dumber rescued things by being himself and, firstly, losing his phone while on holidays, and trumping it by queuing for 6 hours in Japan to get a new one. Didn't last in the queue as he needed to leave to take a pee pee break. (Ya stupid, so fucking Dumb).

Next week the Troppo theme run from the Lake View, fancy troppo dress, hares D & C and Nutcracker.

Save the date:

02/02/2020, Glider Bendigo total palindromic date weekend.

Matthew Gibney

Admin · 1 hr

11/11/2019 Run 1957, Remembrance Day Run from The House of Hugo. Hare SOS.

An enthusiastic crowd attended on time to the House of Hugo to view the little bugger before bedtime, to greet Tidy Twat, and to run with the Sovereign Hash.

After the oohing and aahing was done, GM Fascinator welcomed all and sundry, and then stated "just to confirm, I did fuck up". His statement was not disputed.

The run was a tidy circle along McCarthur, down Lake, crossing Drummond, across to the Gulch, then back to the traditional and well stocked, well iced drink stop in the primary school rubbish bin bay. After a brief moment of panic when both Glider and Squizzy played chicken with the cars we all relaxed into our beers before the short walk to home base for the evening's festivities.

Twiggy somehow got a mention as a welcome back, along with Precious, Donuts, Glider, BP, Lois Lane, Quick Dick, Plucka, Normal, Fang and others. In a week of monumental decisions, Mr Quick Dick and Head Hunter bought a house, SS built a house, and got a down down charge.

Shafted fronted the circle to announce the distribution of earnings from last week. No money was seen changing hands, so he must have access to the BSB numbers to half the hash.

The screw lamented the absence of a pre-lube, and of Tidy Twat from the run, commended the waterproofing* (*Tidy) of the run, and said SOS had no idea. The song was a version of "Simple Simon Says" which invoked a game of Tidy Twister complete with actions. SHITTY TRAIL

1957. Mountie and Maxine (D&C) born (Oh, the wiggle of her arse...) Elvis bought Graceland (as Dr Death bought La La Land), and as one Dr drinks......

Suzies Canal was opened again.

On the 11th of November:

Eureka Rebellion (SS and Glider old enough to remember)

(Uncle) Ned Kelly (FOP and Precious)

Kerr's Cur , and the run was from Kerr's House (Tidy Tiling)

Remembrance Day - fallen comrades: Big Balls, Crunt, Heavy, Half a Bra, Arso, Russell up the Publican.

Remembrance Day - Returned servicemen: Dr Death, Half a Bar, BHD, the Bill, Spartacus, Lois Lane, Plucka

and so it went on until too many sausages were cooked, shirts for the troppo night were ordered, and the red wine was cracked.

Thanks to the Tidy Team for their hospitality.

Next week a

*****BUSH RUN*****,

Hare Donuts, set from the end of State Forest Rd, on after at his house in Post Office Rd.

Matthew Gibney

Admin · 4 November at 21:38

Run 1956 from the Good Guys Car Park Hare Unknown

Melbourne Cup: The Race that stops a Nation......

.......also stops the Hash House Harriers.

Fifteen hardy souls turned up at the designated start; three runners ran a route in pleasant spring sunshine from the carpark, looping around the station precinct, through the Peel St underpass (where trail was found), along the Yarrowee to a Heavy stop, then back to the toilet block at the rear of the Old Colonists Club.

Shazza, The Bill, and Rowdy were denied entry to the Club after their meritorious run due to the lack of bow ties and high heels. Fortunately some of the Hash deigned to join them in the back lane under the shelter shed, shielded from the sudden arctic blast that appeared out of nowhere. Grog Master Half a Bar flaffed around for a while, enabling most to drink the down downs out of their Cooper stubbies, while the circle settled in to what was a lively and invigorating drink stop.

Fascinator was back but nobody noticed, Screw Shafted sang a love song to Dr Death, and both drank for arranging the evenings festivities.

Welcome to Phil "the cook" who somehow managed 8 down downs in about 6 minutes. Welcome back to Jitterbug, matching her only red shoes with a red bowler hat and almost pulling it off.

Jockeys (and we know who you are) all had a few charges together. No horses present, apparently; and it was VERY cold and wet at the time.

Mountie then took time off from choirmaster duties to be Sergeant.

1956, not to be confused with 1856,- Melbourne Olympics, Coronation of QE2, Old Col's Phil (and new runner Phil) born, Elvis first performed (Big) Hound Dog, Eurovision commenced.

Suzie's canal opened (then the red army invaded). Trains sorted their female passengers into 2nd and third class. Mountie, in a black kettle moment, charged all the other tarts present as being "no class".

Omen bet for The Cup went to Dr Death (#15, Magic Wand). Ladies present universally agreed.

Rowdy and Mrs D had a lovely pizza and pasta at Eureka pizza and pasta, washed down with a pleasant Italian sangiovese.

What happens at the Calcutta, stays at the Calcutta.

Next week's non bush run will be from the House of Hugo.

All invited.