The Sovereign Hash went through the motions of the penultimate run of the current Committee. Mummy dearest had to set the run, we did get our Sergeant back, still no scribe, and no sunshine. It would have been difficult to top the previous weeks’ run, and so it was proved. The highlight was the passage of a train, splitting the pack with flashing lights and clanging bells, electric whistles accompanied by four of Bobby Peel’s finest interrogating a pedestrian opposite the Reptile Gulch workshop.
Drink stop set outside the back of the Town Hall, with cans accompanied by the chiming carillon as well as chips and lollies.
Once back at the bandstand, the GM welcomed new runner Jacqui, introduced by Sparrow Fart. Boner was also given a welcome back, even though he was absent. Mountie began her screw with a quote from Proverbs 15:22 (“Plans fail for lack of counsel, but with many advisers they succeed"), but not in this case. Mrs D led the runners valiantly from the rear, while her second son got the walkers horribly lost both due to lack of counsel, and lack of ability to follow basic instructions. Shiggy Trail
Sergeant NBCL took a while to warm up, and once he did, had a run of Easter religious and footy related quips. D & D was asked what his spirit animal might be – “extinct” was the reply. Nummy’s father confessed towards the end of his days that he used to love to eat a bilby. She blames his dementia.
Mountie played golf during the week, had a gentleman collapse prostrate ahead of her. She calmy stepped around him and played through. Shafted demonstrated his knowledge of the inside of a massage parlour, and Pink Bits cracked the reason why Jesus is so popular.
.. because he was hung like this
It was about now that Normal pointed out that both he and Criss Cross had been away for some time, and should be welcomed back. After some discussions regarding Country Members they both got a down down.
Most proceeded to a convivial dinner at Eureka.
Next week will be a triple whammy; BLACK TIE NIGHT, AWARDS NIGHT and AGM at the Royal Oak Hotel, Raglan and South streets.
Monday, April 6, 2026
Sunday, March 29, 2026
Ballarat HHH Run 2302, 30 March 2026 Hare Rowdy, from St Georges Lake, Creswick On After Farmers Arms, Creswick.
The Last run of Daylight Savings means a Bush run, and the commemoration of Midnight’s demise over 33 years ago. Trail went from the car park, down along the Creswick Creek, crossing through the Portuguese Pit and along some well mined bush tracks to Slatey Creek, the up to a viewing platform overlooking Blue Waters and back to the drink stop at the Lake Car park.
Moonrise and sunset both featured, the GM pointed out a nearly full waxing gibbous moon, just after the equinox, perhaps presaging a second coming. The phrase “one of the greatest runs of all time” was mentioned.
Back at the pub for the circle, welcomes back to Quick Dick and Head Hunter, Cinderella, Shafted and Fascinator. Sniffy runs to People Pleaser 50, Shafted 888, Faucett 21, and a welcome to new runner Sue. “We’ve got Virgins”
Mountie began her screw by quoting Luke, rather than Matthew, and proceeded to an anecdote regarding Rowdy screwing someone in his consulting room, then asking what the appointment was for. “Herpes” was the answer. “Shitty Trail”
Shafted filled in at the last minute as Sergeant, and began by asking for volunteers for his run 888, three fat ladies. The only suitable candidate was IC. New runner Sue was charged for not being hot and sweaty, Lois Lane for not being there, and looking for her bag which was across her shoulder the whole time. Other charges concerning a quiche and a Carlton vibrator were offered.
Mountie finished with her Midnight limerick. When asked to describe Midnight to those who never met him, Bent offered “a good bloke with white teeth.” ON ON
Next week’s Easter Monday run is from the rotunda in Sturt St with a meal at the top Eureka.
Moonrise and sunset both featured, the GM pointed out a nearly full waxing gibbous moon, just after the equinox, perhaps presaging a second coming. The phrase “one of the greatest runs of all time” was mentioned.
Back at the pub for the circle, welcomes back to Quick Dick and Head Hunter, Cinderella, Shafted and Fascinator. Sniffy runs to People Pleaser 50, Shafted 888, Faucett 21, and a welcome to new runner Sue. “We’ve got Virgins”
Mountie began her screw by quoting Luke, rather than Matthew, and proceeded to an anecdote regarding Rowdy screwing someone in his consulting room, then asking what the appointment was for. “Herpes” was the answer. “Shitty Trail”
Shafted filled in at the last minute as Sergeant, and began by asking for volunteers for his run 888, three fat ladies. The only suitable candidate was IC. New runner Sue was charged for not being hot and sweaty, Lois Lane for not being there, and looking for her bag which was across her shoulder the whole time. Other charges concerning a quiche and a Carlton vibrator were offered.
Mountie finished with her Midnight limerick. When asked to describe Midnight to those who never met him, Bent offered “a good bloke with white teeth.” ON ON
Next week’s Easter Monday run is from the rotunda in Sturt St with a meal at the top Eureka.
Sunday, March 22, 2026
RUN 2301 – Pigs Arse – Trades Hall – Monday 23rd March 2026
Apologies were made for Deep Heat not being able to make it up the stairs to the circle. Boner arrived late and apologies were also given with the announcement that Carpet Burns is back. Welcomes backs went to Carpet Burns, Pebbles, Squizzy, and Beer f%ck. Sniffy runs were awarded to Teflon on 444, NBCL on 313, Bad Hair Day on 1313, Pebbles on 669 and Jus Cum on 300, who also received a commemorative T-shirt. New runner Jacinta received her first down down and when asked “who made you cum?”, she indicated Cat Flaps.
Mountie wanted to begin her screw, but Pigs Arse was nowhere to be found, so Pus Bucket, you’ll do. Matthew 2323 was quoted with mention of justice, mercy, and faithfulness. The trail was noted to have lots of halts to keep us together, just maybe not every 5 sec as we kept running up everyone’s arses. At the drink stop there was no petrol crisis, but we did have a beer crisis. We ran out of beer! Jacinta had to drink cider. Shame! Cat Flaps and Bent nose were called to the front. At this point, Deep Heat arrived to the cheer of the crowd. He told us all to f%ck off. Back to our best 2 engineers, they had a car crash, both died and showed up at the gates to heaven. After meeting God, they were told that heaven wasn’t for them and that they should go down there. While down there, they fixed everything, so that everything was amazing. God also wanted things fixed, so he asked them to move back upstairs and threatened that he’ll sue if they didn’t come. They answered, “where are you going to get a lawyer.
NBCL began with the observation that Nutcrackers Grandfather was on wall. He used to tell her bedtime stories, that always began, “once upon a double time”. Disco was charged for helping a little boy who had lost his dad. When he asked the boy what’s he like? He answered, “big tits, and whisky”. When a homeless guy was asked “Knock Knock” he answered, “who’s there?” I thought you were homeless. Pigs Arse was charged for scheduling the circle up 5 flights of stairs, Precious said “he’s not here” so “you’ll do”. Pigs Arse was collecting the pizza’s, perhaps he doesn’t know that delivery can be arranged. Dumb then charged himself and announced that he had a lovely motion this morning, prior to the general business. Immaculate Conception was charged for being a good Samaritan, helping those in need by not having a lockable fuel cap. Precious was also charged for being the only dickhead with a car with a lockable fuel cap, and crashing it. The teachers were called to the front by Pigs Arse for a presentation. Some union shirts were distributed among Jacinta, Mrs D and others. After asking “Where’s Fang?” Jus Cum answered “he’s not here”, so she was charged. Jus cum and Spartacus scored another charge, after the traumatic birth of baby Wee Problem, Spartacus was told that his wife didn’t make it. The punchline was that he’ll bring you the one she did make. Jus Cum was also charged as her new shirt was black, not red like the union members. Bent told us that Hash used to only have 1 perfect c%nt, Normal. But now BP is in St John’s getting a perfect vagina. The comeback was that now she is hoping to get a perfect dick. Mountie dissed the ES staff, and Jacinta was asked to explain why, People Pleaser, Jus Cum and Pink Bits were only worth half as much as teachers. For our last charge, Spencer charged Mastabait, as his princess is going to Spain for 4 weeks to walk the Camino. All who walk this trail are asked to carry a pebble, to represent carrying a burden. Since Mastabait is not going, he asked Nummy to bless a stone for her to take.
Next weeks run is in memory of Midnight (not at midnight). It will be hosted by Rowdy, with the run taking off from St George’s Lake and the On After at the Farmers Arms Creswick.
On On
Mountie wanted to begin her screw, but Pigs Arse was nowhere to be found, so Pus Bucket, you’ll do. Matthew 2323 was quoted with mention of justice, mercy, and faithfulness. The trail was noted to have lots of halts to keep us together, just maybe not every 5 sec as we kept running up everyone’s arses. At the drink stop there was no petrol crisis, but we did have a beer crisis. We ran out of beer! Jacinta had to drink cider. Shame! Cat Flaps and Bent nose were called to the front. At this point, Deep Heat arrived to the cheer of the crowd. He told us all to f%ck off. Back to our best 2 engineers, they had a car crash, both died and showed up at the gates to heaven. After meeting God, they were told that heaven wasn’t for them and that they should go down there. While down there, they fixed everything, so that everything was amazing. God also wanted things fixed, so he asked them to move back upstairs and threatened that he’ll sue if they didn’t come. They answered, “where are you going to get a lawyer.
NBCL began with the observation that Nutcrackers Grandfather was on wall. He used to tell her bedtime stories, that always began, “once upon a double time”. Disco was charged for helping a little boy who had lost his dad. When he asked the boy what’s he like? He answered, “big tits, and whisky”. When a homeless guy was asked “Knock Knock” he answered, “who’s there?” I thought you were homeless. Pigs Arse was charged for scheduling the circle up 5 flights of stairs, Precious said “he’s not here” so “you’ll do”. Pigs Arse was collecting the pizza’s, perhaps he doesn’t know that delivery can be arranged. Dumb then charged himself and announced that he had a lovely motion this morning, prior to the general business. Immaculate Conception was charged for being a good Samaritan, helping those in need by not having a lockable fuel cap. Precious was also charged for being the only dickhead with a car with a lockable fuel cap, and crashing it. The teachers were called to the front by Pigs Arse for a presentation. Some union shirts were distributed among Jacinta, Mrs D and others. After asking “Where’s Fang?” Jus Cum answered “he’s not here”, so she was charged. Jus cum and Spartacus scored another charge, after the traumatic birth of baby Wee Problem, Spartacus was told that his wife didn’t make it. The punchline was that he’ll bring you the one she did make. Jus Cum was also charged as her new shirt was black, not red like the union members. Bent told us that Hash used to only have 1 perfect c%nt, Normal. But now BP is in St John’s getting a perfect vagina. The comeback was that now she is hoping to get a perfect dick. Mountie dissed the ES staff, and Jacinta was asked to explain why, People Pleaser, Jus Cum and Pink Bits were only worth half as much as teachers. For our last charge, Spencer charged Mastabait, as his princess is going to Spain for 4 weeks to walk the Camino. All who walk this trail are asked to carry a pebble, to represent carrying a burden. Since Mastabait is not going, he asked Nummy to bless a stone for her to take.
Next weeks run is in memory of Midnight (not at midnight). It will be hosted by Rowdy, with the run taking off from St George’s Lake and the On After at the Farmers Arms Creswick.
On On
Sunday, March 15, 2026
RUN 2300 – Pink Bits – Scarsdale Hotel – St Patrick’s Day - Monday 16th March 2026
We were welcomed to the Deep Heat special, where everyone can sit down during circle. Some of us were still eating meals since this was one of those weeks where meals came out and we ate before the circle. Cat Flaps was awarded a welcome back drink and sniffy runs were awarded to Cat Flaps on 19, Faucet on 19, Campaspe on 292 and Nice Member on 16, The young ones were educated with a Neil Sedaka version of Sweet 16. We also acknowledged our Western Suburbs visitor, Plunger.
Nummy was missing because she’d been bitten by a dog, Big Dog was called for, but he wasn’t here. Mountie screwed Pink Bits with something about archangels. We saw many animals on trail, ants, llamas and kangaroos, but trail markings were harder to find, perhaps they were washed away. I missed Mountie’s joke while climbing a chair to turn off the music. Might have been better to ask someone other than a short scribe to do this?
NBCL asked if anyone was still eating, Dumb was the only one. So we had a masticator and a Masterbaiter. Pus Bucket and Mountie were charged, it was Pus Buckets birthday and when asked “where are you taking me?” “From behind” was not the right answer. Mountie and Pus Bucket also had a traumatic experience during a bank robbery. Someone asked if it was a sperm bank, and some quick-witted hasher asked if they swallowed the evidence. Back to the joke, the robber asked who saw his face and killed those who could identify him. Pus Bucket was asked if he saw his face and he answered, “No, but my wife did”. Nutcracker was charged as someone stole her car. When asked if she saw who did it she answered “no, but I got the number plate”. On trail, Lois told Mountie, do you know what I like about you?... Nothing. We also heard that Faucet’s grandparents used to own this pub. Pigs Arse was charged for driving back from a gig on Saturday night. He then messed up his joke about sheep in a fence resulting in a rebound charge. Mountie was given a St Kilda supporters charge which was followed by a Kangaroo’s supporters charge. Tommy was charged for looking like a bring your son to work day (he was wearing a Shrek hat) and Mountie was charged for being traumatised by llamas and kangaroos. Pink bits was charged for setting her trail twice and not making it shorter. Pigs Arse messed up another joke and when asked where Bad Hair Day was, the answer that he was the one in green, didn’t really help. Pink Bits drove a carload back from the drink stop, Lois with her long legs in the back seat was charged as she could have walked. Mountie had a St Patrick’s Day charge which was followed by a chorus of God Save our King. Rowdy and Nice Member were charged on the run, where Rowdy was trying to run away. Spencer Hocking was charged for planning to move to WA and do FIFO. He’d heard that there were a bunch of minors over there. Nutcracker got that one, only after D&C explained it to her. NBCL then stuffed up his charge and we charged Mick for hosting the drink stop. Mick was also a mate of Heavy’s, so we sang Swing Low, Sweet Chariot. And another verse for a mate of Nice Member and Pigs Arse. We finished up with the news that Disco’s pussy is recovering well, after being shaved under anaesthesia following an altercation with a bush.
Next weeks run will be hosted by Pigs Arse from the Ballarat Trades Hall, Camp Street, Ballarat Central.
On On
Nummy was missing because she’d been bitten by a dog, Big Dog was called for, but he wasn’t here. Mountie screwed Pink Bits with something about archangels. We saw many animals on trail, ants, llamas and kangaroos, but trail markings were harder to find, perhaps they were washed away. I missed Mountie’s joke while climbing a chair to turn off the music. Might have been better to ask someone other than a short scribe to do this?
NBCL asked if anyone was still eating, Dumb was the only one. So we had a masticator and a Masterbaiter. Pus Bucket and Mountie were charged, it was Pus Buckets birthday and when asked “where are you taking me?” “From behind” was not the right answer. Mountie and Pus Bucket also had a traumatic experience during a bank robbery. Someone asked if it was a sperm bank, and some quick-witted hasher asked if they swallowed the evidence. Back to the joke, the robber asked who saw his face and killed those who could identify him. Pus Bucket was asked if he saw his face and he answered, “No, but my wife did”. Nutcracker was charged as someone stole her car. When asked if she saw who did it she answered “no, but I got the number plate”. On trail, Lois told Mountie, do you know what I like about you?... Nothing. We also heard that Faucet’s grandparents used to own this pub. Pigs Arse was charged for driving back from a gig on Saturday night. He then messed up his joke about sheep in a fence resulting in a rebound charge. Mountie was given a St Kilda supporters charge which was followed by a Kangaroo’s supporters charge. Tommy was charged for looking like a bring your son to work day (he was wearing a Shrek hat) and Mountie was charged for being traumatised by llamas and kangaroos. Pink bits was charged for setting her trail twice and not making it shorter. Pigs Arse messed up another joke and when asked where Bad Hair Day was, the answer that he was the one in green, didn’t really help. Pink Bits drove a carload back from the drink stop, Lois with her long legs in the back seat was charged as she could have walked. Mountie had a St Patrick’s Day charge which was followed by a chorus of God Save our King. Rowdy and Nice Member were charged on the run, where Rowdy was trying to run away. Spencer Hocking was charged for planning to move to WA and do FIFO. He’d heard that there were a bunch of minors over there. Nutcracker got that one, only after D&C explained it to her. NBCL then stuffed up his charge and we charged Mick for hosting the drink stop. Mick was also a mate of Heavy’s, so we sang Swing Low, Sweet Chariot. And another verse for a mate of Nice Member and Pigs Arse. We finished up with the news that Disco’s pussy is recovering well, after being shaved under anaesthesia following an altercation with a bush.
Next weeks run will be hosted by Pigs Arse from the Ballarat Trades Hall, Camp Street, Ballarat Central.
On On
RUN 2299 Labour Day – People Pleaser - 16 Webster St, Sebastopol - Monday 9th March 2026
There were no welcomes backs, but Sniffy runs were awarded to Jacob and Cassy, both on 2 runs, Jus Cum on 299 and IC on 212. It was all about the number 2. Jus Cum was seen not singing and was heard to say that she doesn’t like songs with swear words, so this set off a rendition of f%ck off ya c%nt.
Mountie was excited to screw People Pleaser. She began with quotes seeking approval of man, then there was something about a straight path. While People Pleaser works at a school, it was noted that there was a shortage of chalk along the trail. Mountie also liked that we passed several streets with Prime Ministers names on them. People Pleaser was at a bar holding a piano with a tiny man. The bartender thinks this is amazing and asks, “Where did you get that?”, he responded that there is a Genie out the front with a magic lamp giving out wishes, but he’s hard of hearing. The bartender runs out and requests a million bucks. Suddenly the bar is full of a million ducks. People pleaser responds, “Do you think I asked for a 12-inch pianist”.
NBCL begins by noting the drone strike in the backyard and the cucumbers on offer from Bent Nose. Dumb was charged for something about the chairs, requiring us to sit down carefully. Mountie was charged for saying that People Pleaser wasn’t straight, when she has a gay haircut. Rowdy noted that People Pleaser was quite straight today. People pleaser and Riley were charged and advised to stay out of the way of stolen cars, as a result of their recent car accident. Jacob was charged with a shoey, made difficult as he was wearing thongs. Jus Cum was charged with another swearing song. Nutcracker and NBCL were charged as they had been to marriage counselling with Precious. Nutcracker complained that NBCL was working too much working, frequently picking his nose, and always wants to be on top. NBCL responded that he was following the advice of his Father who told him to work hard, keep his nose clean and don’t f%ck up. All the St Kinda supporters scored the next charge, so Mountie and Disco scored a drink. Following the Labour Day theme, Mountie was charged as she has not been in Labour, but somehow this rebounded on IC. Jus Cum was given the final charge, with another swearing song.
Next weeks run will be hosted by Pink Bits from the Scarsdale Hotel with a St Patrick’s Day theme. We are asked to arrive early to allow time for meals ordering meals.
On On
Mountie was excited to screw People Pleaser. She began with quotes seeking approval of man, then there was something about a straight path. While People Pleaser works at a school, it was noted that there was a shortage of chalk along the trail. Mountie also liked that we passed several streets with Prime Ministers names on them. People Pleaser was at a bar holding a piano with a tiny man. The bartender thinks this is amazing and asks, “Where did you get that?”, he responded that there is a Genie out the front with a magic lamp giving out wishes, but he’s hard of hearing. The bartender runs out and requests a million bucks. Suddenly the bar is full of a million ducks. People pleaser responds, “Do you think I asked for a 12-inch pianist”.
NBCL begins by noting the drone strike in the backyard and the cucumbers on offer from Bent Nose. Dumb was charged for something about the chairs, requiring us to sit down carefully. Mountie was charged for saying that People Pleaser wasn’t straight, when she has a gay haircut. Rowdy noted that People Pleaser was quite straight today. People pleaser and Riley were charged and advised to stay out of the way of stolen cars, as a result of their recent car accident. Jacob was charged with a shoey, made difficult as he was wearing thongs. Jus Cum was charged with another swearing song. Nutcracker and NBCL were charged as they had been to marriage counselling with Precious. Nutcracker complained that NBCL was working too much working, frequently picking his nose, and always wants to be on top. NBCL responded that he was following the advice of his Father who told him to work hard, keep his nose clean and don’t f%ck up. All the St Kinda supporters scored the next charge, so Mountie and Disco scored a drink. Following the Labour Day theme, Mountie was charged as she has not been in Labour, but somehow this rebounded on IC. Jus Cum was given the final charge, with another swearing song.
Next weeks run will be hosted by Pink Bits from the Scarsdale Hotel with a St Patrick’s Day theme. We are asked to arrive early to allow time for meals ordering meals.
On On
Sunday, March 1, 2026
RUN 2298 – Bad Hair Day – Ballarat East Bowling Club - Monday 2nd March 2026
The higher than usual cost for this weeks meal was repeatedly mentioned, even Half-a-bar put on his good attire. Welcome backs went to Bent Nose, Half-a-bar, Shafted, Spencer Hocking, Sparrow Fart, Gilf and new runner Cassy. Sniffy runs were awarded to Disco on 111, IC on 211, NBCL on 311 and Sparrow Fart on 33.
Bad Hair Day said he’d been waiting 25 years to be screwed by Mountie. But she’s sure that’s she’s done it before. All those wearing shirts with Bad Hair Day on them were called up for a down down. This included me, Mountie, Nummy, Shafted and Rowdy. Mountie quoted from her bible from the second book of kings with something about bald heads. Mountie was delighted with the run, lots of hills, 4 halts and no on backs. Bad Hair Day went to Nutcracker for a haircut, but it only cost $5, as there wasn’t much to cut. Then there was something about a biblical tale makes big gay men attend, but Normal wasn’t here.
NBCL began by contemplating the last week. He spoke of the former prince who thought that strippers were knocking on his door, but it turned out that they were real policemen. If one Andrew drinks, all Andrews drink. Followed by, if one pedo drinks, all pedo’s drink for Spencer Hocking. Andrew, Andrew, Andrew was then promoted to Prince, Prince, Prince. We were told that there’s a job going in the royal family. Andrew was heard to say that Half-a-bar looked smart. Half-a-bar is not. Among the ruckus of this weeks circle I made out something about Gilf having nice calves. Next, there was a story about a crisis at a primary school and Spencer Hocking was asked to explain. He’d been at a Geelong primary school trying to entice kids into his car with apples. Nah, he was actually giving his grandson an apple for snack. There were charges for Mrs D, who was sent the wrong date and location for Nice Members gig. Mountie came home to find Pus Bucket naked on the floor. She said “happy anniversary” and he responded, “Oh, is it?” Mountie and Pus Bucket were out for a drink and admired a lovely old couple also having a few drinks. Oh, isn’t that lovely, I hope that one day we are just like them. Turns out they were looking in a mirror. Half-a-bar was charged for being a merino sheep farmer, but still wearing that suit and Nummy was charged for needing IT help from Pink Bits. New runner Cassy was charged for getting moist and if one ranga drinks, all ranga’s drink. Drinks went to Cassy, Cinderella, Disco, Bad Hair Day, Rowdy and Mrs Dickhead. Nice Member was trying to get his charge recognised. We indicated that he needed to put his hand up above his head, so he borrowed a can from a nearby hasher to put on his head to charge Pigs Arse for posting the wrong gig details. Sparrow fart was charged for saying she likes it warm and moist and Precious was charged for his car accident, ruining the preferred transport for the Dickhead team. Mountie was charged for standing on her bible and there was a no hash gear charge for Andrew/Prince and Half-a-bar. Disco was charged for having gonorrhea, his pants are a disco inferno. Bad Hair Day was provided with hair by Cassy, to remember the glory days. While Deep Heat provided a grey make over. Cassy was asked who made her come? Cinderella. When asked was it as good as she hoped. She answered, “it was amazing”. And once again, all rangas drank including Nice Member this time. Precious also asked everyone (again) to bring their awards back.
Next weeks run will be hosted by People Pleaser from his home at 16 Webster St, Sebastopol.
On On
Bad Hair Day said he’d been waiting 25 years to be screwed by Mountie. But she’s sure that’s she’s done it before. All those wearing shirts with Bad Hair Day on them were called up for a down down. This included me, Mountie, Nummy, Shafted and Rowdy. Mountie quoted from her bible from the second book of kings with something about bald heads. Mountie was delighted with the run, lots of hills, 4 halts and no on backs. Bad Hair Day went to Nutcracker for a haircut, but it only cost $5, as there wasn’t much to cut. Then there was something about a biblical tale makes big gay men attend, but Normal wasn’t here.
NBCL began by contemplating the last week. He spoke of the former prince who thought that strippers were knocking on his door, but it turned out that they were real policemen. If one Andrew drinks, all Andrews drink. Followed by, if one pedo drinks, all pedo’s drink for Spencer Hocking. Andrew, Andrew, Andrew was then promoted to Prince, Prince, Prince. We were told that there’s a job going in the royal family. Andrew was heard to say that Half-a-bar looked smart. Half-a-bar is not. Among the ruckus of this weeks circle I made out something about Gilf having nice calves. Next, there was a story about a crisis at a primary school and Spencer Hocking was asked to explain. He’d been at a Geelong primary school trying to entice kids into his car with apples. Nah, he was actually giving his grandson an apple for snack. There were charges for Mrs D, who was sent the wrong date and location for Nice Members gig. Mountie came home to find Pus Bucket naked on the floor. She said “happy anniversary” and he responded, “Oh, is it?” Mountie and Pus Bucket were out for a drink and admired a lovely old couple also having a few drinks. Oh, isn’t that lovely, I hope that one day we are just like them. Turns out they were looking in a mirror. Half-a-bar was charged for being a merino sheep farmer, but still wearing that suit and Nummy was charged for needing IT help from Pink Bits. New runner Cassy was charged for getting moist and if one ranga drinks, all ranga’s drink. Drinks went to Cassy, Cinderella, Disco, Bad Hair Day, Rowdy and Mrs Dickhead. Nice Member was trying to get his charge recognised. We indicated that he needed to put his hand up above his head, so he borrowed a can from a nearby hasher to put on his head to charge Pigs Arse for posting the wrong gig details. Sparrow fart was charged for saying she likes it warm and moist and Precious was charged for his car accident, ruining the preferred transport for the Dickhead team. Mountie was charged for standing on her bible and there was a no hash gear charge for Andrew/Prince and Half-a-bar. Disco was charged for having gonorrhea, his pants are a disco inferno. Bad Hair Day was provided with hair by Cassy, to remember the glory days. While Deep Heat provided a grey make over. Cassy was asked who made her come? Cinderella. When asked was it as good as she hoped. She answered, “it was amazing”. And once again, all rangas drank including Nice Member this time. Precious also asked everyone (again) to bring their awards back.
Next weeks run will be hosted by People Pleaser from his home at 16 Webster St, Sebastopol.
On On
Sunday, February 22, 2026
RUN 2297 – Dim Wit – Unwin Winery - Monday 23rd February 2026
We began our circle with an acknowledgment to the local landowner and an unanswered call for Michael to join us for a down down. Welcomes backs went to Pebbles, Criss Cross, Fascinator, Tommy, Riley and new runner Jacob. Sniffy runs went to Nutcracker on 424 and Fascinator on 269.
Mounties screw was full of shit about Dim Wit. Her bible had lots of quotes about fools. The run was predicted to go clockwise or anticlockwise but surprised us all by going up and down through varied environments, grape vines, grassy paddocks and through the Christmas trees. Dumb and dumber was in court facing drug charges. While awaiting sentencing he was asked to try to convince people to not take drugs. He drew 2 circles one bigger and one smaller, he tried to convince people by saying if you take drugs, your brain becomes the smaller circle. He tried again and said that the circle represents your anus, this time, the bigger circle represents the size of your anus in jail if you get caught with drugs.
Dim Wits joke. What has balls and screws old ladies?....Bingo. Followed by a related joke. How do you get old ladies to say f%ck?..... Get the lady next to her to her to say Bingo.
NBCL began by talking about Renob. He was late arriving because he was trying to get a close up of the horizon. Michael was again called to the front, but was nowhere to be found so Dim Wit, you’ll do. We were told that it takes a while to mature good wine. The question was asked, why don’t you just start with raisons? Renob was asked if he practices safe sex? He answered yes, he has a rail around the bed. Dim Wit was charged for telling us that he didn’t have enough flour for two H’s, but the H he drew was huge, there would have been plenty of flour if he’s drawn smaller H’s. Mountie was a at funeral and had forgotten to silence her phone. Just as they were taking the corpse out, it went off with “oh when the saint’s go March in”. Dumb’n’dumber was charged for something stupid, and all the Essendon supporters were charged again. Following on from last week we acknowledged Pancake Day or as I was told, Shrove Tuesday. All the Catholics were called for a down down. Hush Puppy was charged for the BBQ fire last week, IC called out “she’s not here”, so he scored the drink. Dumb’n’dumber was charged for Shafted calling and wondering where we were, he was at the wrong location and Mrs D was charged for not dancing last Saturday night. Dim Wit was charged for giving up flour for lent and Pigs Arse was charged for forgetting to message Pink Bits where Ice Ember was playing until after the gig. Little Tommy (Pigs Arse’s son) was charged for being a great runner, this was corrected to young Tommy, as little was not working. Nutcracker and NBCL were charged in memory of their Hash wedding and Mastabait and Mountie were charged for their matching shirts. Rowdy was charged for his commando roll during the run and Deep Heat was charged for setting off the very long beep during his arrival. Jus cum was charged by Lois, for a joke about bulls at the cattle yards. She was admiring the bull that had mated 150 times in a year and the bull that had mated 365 times. Spartacus was said to have answered “but did he sleep with same old cow every time?”
Next weeks run will be hosted by Bad Hair Day from the Ballarat East Bowling Club, Bradshaw Street, Golden Point, where there will be a $25 fee for the run and dinner.
Precious also reminded everyone (again) to bring their awards back asap.
On On
Mounties screw was full of shit about Dim Wit. Her bible had lots of quotes about fools. The run was predicted to go clockwise or anticlockwise but surprised us all by going up and down through varied environments, grape vines, grassy paddocks and through the Christmas trees. Dumb and dumber was in court facing drug charges. While awaiting sentencing he was asked to try to convince people to not take drugs. He drew 2 circles one bigger and one smaller, he tried to convince people by saying if you take drugs, your brain becomes the smaller circle. He tried again and said that the circle represents your anus, this time, the bigger circle represents the size of your anus in jail if you get caught with drugs.
Dim Wits joke. What has balls and screws old ladies?....Bingo. Followed by a related joke. How do you get old ladies to say f%ck?..... Get the lady next to her to her to say Bingo.
NBCL began by talking about Renob. He was late arriving because he was trying to get a close up of the horizon. Michael was again called to the front, but was nowhere to be found so Dim Wit, you’ll do. We were told that it takes a while to mature good wine. The question was asked, why don’t you just start with raisons? Renob was asked if he practices safe sex? He answered yes, he has a rail around the bed. Dim Wit was charged for telling us that he didn’t have enough flour for two H’s, but the H he drew was huge, there would have been plenty of flour if he’s drawn smaller H’s. Mountie was a at funeral and had forgotten to silence her phone. Just as they were taking the corpse out, it went off with “oh when the saint’s go March in”. Dumb’n’dumber was charged for something stupid, and all the Essendon supporters were charged again. Following on from last week we acknowledged Pancake Day or as I was told, Shrove Tuesday. All the Catholics were called for a down down. Hush Puppy was charged for the BBQ fire last week, IC called out “she’s not here”, so he scored the drink. Dumb’n’dumber was charged for Shafted calling and wondering where we were, he was at the wrong location and Mrs D was charged for not dancing last Saturday night. Dim Wit was charged for giving up flour for lent and Pigs Arse was charged for forgetting to message Pink Bits where Ice Ember was playing until after the gig. Little Tommy (Pigs Arse’s son) was charged for being a great runner, this was corrected to young Tommy, as little was not working. Nutcracker and NBCL were charged in memory of their Hash wedding and Mastabait and Mountie were charged for their matching shirts. Rowdy was charged for his commando roll during the run and Deep Heat was charged for setting off the very long beep during his arrival. Jus cum was charged by Lois, for a joke about bulls at the cattle yards. She was admiring the bull that had mated 150 times in a year and the bull that had mated 365 times. Spartacus was said to have answered “but did he sleep with same old cow every time?”
Next weeks run will be hosted by Bad Hair Day from the Ballarat East Bowling Club, Bradshaw Street, Golden Point, where there will be a $25 fee for the run and dinner.
Precious also reminded everyone (again) to bring their awards back asap.
On On
Sunday, February 15, 2026
RUN 2296 – Big Dog - Millers Arms – Monday 16th February 2026
Welcomes Backs went to Big Dog, Hush Puppy, Deep Heat, Half-a-bar and Dim Wit. Sniffy runs were awarded to Dumb & Dumber on 1469, Nice Member on 13, Head Hunter on 292 and Precious on 373. IC was also charged for new shoes and did the obligatory shoey.
Mountie began her screw by telling us all that screwing Big Dog was on her unbucket list. We then had a bible quote from Proverbs 2611. It was noted that there was some old trail spotted and according to Mountie, some fabulous hills. Pigs Arse also picked up a bin that had fallen over, showing what good Samaritans we are. It was noticed that Big Dog had scars on knees from too much doggy style. A change of position was suggested, but the dog doesn’t want to.
Marking the return of Dim Wit, we had a joke. Why did God make mam before woman?....He didn’t want advice on how to do it.
NBCL was in a contemplative mood discussing how the moon f@cks up dates. The Chinese New Year is approaching and we are moving from the year of the snake to the year of the horse. It is also almost the start of Ramadan. He asked how many moon days since Essendon has won final. A quick google showed 7376 days. All the Essendon supporters, Lois, Normal, Dumb and Fawcet go a down down. This was also said to cure his grandfather mobility, making him turn over in his grave. Dim Wit was charged for completing a puzzle in 12 days and requesting a Guinness world record. The box said 3 to 5 years. Big Dog was charged for being famous on Facebook. He was photographed setting trail. However, the question was asked, why did he need to be accompanied by a car? Pink Bits charged the Dickheads for partying on after the bus trip and Normal charged Head Hunter who though she saw a pony while they were out walking. Turns out it was a Labrador. Perhaps Irish dogs are built different. Half-a-bar was charged since the bus didn’t wait for him last week and Lois was charged for complaining about the cost to renounce her British citizenship. Due to nearby children, language was modified and Nutcracker suggested shutting the gate, not sure how that’d help as it was just metal bars. People Pleaser was charged since he was teaching said child tomorrow. No name was charged as he reminisced about going to school at St Columba’s where we had the drink stop. He remembered watching the moon landing when he was there. What did lord say to astronaut?..... Kneel Armstrong. Fawcett was charged for asking why is Mountie wearing Mrs D singlet and Nice Member was charged for smoking on the run. Community announcement, Nice Member’s band will be playing at the Millers Arms on 7th March. Fawcett was charged for his clenched butt cheeks while looking over the fence at St Columbus and Pigs Arse was charged for picking up a chick on run. Cinderella was charged for no Hash gear, and for turning up late, a doctor’s appointment was the excuse. Nummy was charged for going to the Carlton corner and Dumb tried to give away a 1000 runs medal. A request was made for all trophy’s to be returned asap as awards night is coming up
Next weeks run will be hosted by Dim Wit from Michael Unwin Winery, 10 Powells Rd, Windermere
PS Our BBQ dinner was interrupted by the BBQ catching fire. The publican had to come out with a fire extinguisher and put it out, so the second round of sausages and burgers were covered in extinguisher stuff. No one got to eat any seconds.
On On
Mountie began her screw by telling us all that screwing Big Dog was on her unbucket list. We then had a bible quote from Proverbs 2611. It was noted that there was some old trail spotted and according to Mountie, some fabulous hills. Pigs Arse also picked up a bin that had fallen over, showing what good Samaritans we are. It was noticed that Big Dog had scars on knees from too much doggy style. A change of position was suggested, but the dog doesn’t want to.
Marking the return of Dim Wit, we had a joke. Why did God make mam before woman?....He didn’t want advice on how to do it.
NBCL was in a contemplative mood discussing how the moon f@cks up dates. The Chinese New Year is approaching and we are moving from the year of the snake to the year of the horse. It is also almost the start of Ramadan. He asked how many moon days since Essendon has won final. A quick google showed 7376 days. All the Essendon supporters, Lois, Normal, Dumb and Fawcet go a down down. This was also said to cure his grandfather mobility, making him turn over in his grave. Dim Wit was charged for completing a puzzle in 12 days and requesting a Guinness world record. The box said 3 to 5 years. Big Dog was charged for being famous on Facebook. He was photographed setting trail. However, the question was asked, why did he need to be accompanied by a car? Pink Bits charged the Dickheads for partying on after the bus trip and Normal charged Head Hunter who though she saw a pony while they were out walking. Turns out it was a Labrador. Perhaps Irish dogs are built different. Half-a-bar was charged since the bus didn’t wait for him last week and Lois was charged for complaining about the cost to renounce her British citizenship. Due to nearby children, language was modified and Nutcracker suggested shutting the gate, not sure how that’d help as it was just metal bars. People Pleaser was charged since he was teaching said child tomorrow. No name was charged as he reminisced about going to school at St Columba’s where we had the drink stop. He remembered watching the moon landing when he was there. What did lord say to astronaut?..... Kneel Armstrong. Fawcett was charged for asking why is Mountie wearing Mrs D singlet and Nice Member was charged for smoking on the run. Community announcement, Nice Member’s band will be playing at the Millers Arms on 7th March. Fawcett was charged for his clenched butt cheeks while looking over the fence at St Columbus and Pigs Arse was charged for picking up a chick on run. Cinderella was charged for no Hash gear, and for turning up late, a doctor’s appointment was the excuse. Nummy was charged for going to the Carlton corner and Dumb tried to give away a 1000 runs medal. A request was made for all trophy’s to be returned asap as awards night is coming up
Next weeks run will be hosted by Dim Wit from Michael Unwin Winery, 10 Powells Rd, Windermere
PS Our BBQ dinner was interrupted by the BBQ catching fire. The publican had to come out with a fire extinguisher and put it out, so the second round of sausages and burgers were covered in extinguisher stuff. No one got to eat any seconds.
On On
Sunday, February 8, 2026
RUN 2295 – Mystery Bus Trip – Monday 9th February 2026
The bus left the city oval at 6pm and then had to drive past Precious’ house as he’d forgotten his keys. The thirsty hashers consumed all the full-strength beer before we’d even left Ballarat. Our mystery trip took us via Buninyong to the Musters Arms. After a little sing song at the Bakery Hill Flagpole and the purchase of more beers for the bus, we reboarded, completed several laps of the Bakery Hill roundabout and took off in an easterly direction. The bus turned up Forbes Road towards Kryal Castle, stopping part way along the road to allow for the run/walk up the hill to the Kryal Castle carpark, where we gathered for the circle. Kryal Castle evidently didn’t respond to our email, so we hope that they regret missing out on hosting us.
Welcomes backs went to FOP and Her Vajesty. If one Dr drinks, all Dr’s drink, so down downs were shared by Campaspe, Rowdy and Quick Dick. Sniffy runs were awarded to Her Vajesty on 242, Head Hunter on 241. Pink Bits on 189, Mrs D on 889, Jus Cum on 295 and Rowdy on 1479.
Mystery person Mountie didn’t prepare a screw but came up with an apt bible quote “what happens on the trip, stays on the trip” (except for what I write on the blog). Charges went to Nutcracker and Disco for something about $2. Mountie was charged for wearing pink, a week early for ladies hash and Doodle Nuts was charged for arriving late, mid trip. There was some reminiscing about a Mystery bus trip that did end at Kryal Castle where there was a male and a female stripper. NBCL complained that they keep replacing trains on his commute. This led to a joke about chats on the train but NBCL found it funnier than everyone else, even before he got to the punchline. No Name was charged for missing out on picking up, because the drawbridge was up and Spencer was charged for putting big hands on little hands during school camp. Pauline and Lois were charged and this was interrupted by a call that the cops were coming. The Bill was charged, IC responded that he’s not here, so he got the drink. The incoming car was just someone going to the caravan park. Mountie scored a drink for red tits at night, Pus Bucket delight, or is it red tits in the morning, Pus Bucket warning. People Pleaser and IC were charged for disappearing for a toilet stop at Kryal Castle but Precious, Spencer, Quick Dick, NBCL, Dumb were also charged for the earlier bush wee. Pink Bits was charged and asked to explain her cold sore and Precious was charged for short cutting the run, turns out he forgot his keys (again) on the bus. Cinderella had a charge where the fairy godmother’s spell only lasted til midnight and her vaj/penis would turn into a pumpkin. She met a lovely man, turns out it was Peter Peter Pumpkin Eater. Nummy was charged for the repeat of this joke, we’d had it before. All the Peter’s then scored a drink, including NBCL, Spartacus and Pus Bucket. Road Runner recounted a recent encounter with Masta Bait, where he said he was going to a funeral. When asked how it went, he responded that he forgot to go.
Next weeks Valentines Day run will be hosted by Big Dog from the Millers ARMS Hotel.
Our Mystery Bus trip ended up at the Gordon Pub, where we shared country roast for dinner, accompanied by a generous bar tab.
On On
Welcomes backs went to FOP and Her Vajesty. If one Dr drinks, all Dr’s drink, so down downs were shared by Campaspe, Rowdy and Quick Dick. Sniffy runs were awarded to Her Vajesty on 242, Head Hunter on 241. Pink Bits on 189, Mrs D on 889, Jus Cum on 295 and Rowdy on 1479.
Mystery person Mountie didn’t prepare a screw but came up with an apt bible quote “what happens on the trip, stays on the trip” (except for what I write on the blog). Charges went to Nutcracker and Disco for something about $2. Mountie was charged for wearing pink, a week early for ladies hash and Doodle Nuts was charged for arriving late, mid trip. There was some reminiscing about a Mystery bus trip that did end at Kryal Castle where there was a male and a female stripper. NBCL complained that they keep replacing trains on his commute. This led to a joke about chats on the train but NBCL found it funnier than everyone else, even before he got to the punchline. No Name was charged for missing out on picking up, because the drawbridge was up and Spencer was charged for putting big hands on little hands during school camp. Pauline and Lois were charged and this was interrupted by a call that the cops were coming. The Bill was charged, IC responded that he’s not here, so he got the drink. The incoming car was just someone going to the caravan park. Mountie scored a drink for red tits at night, Pus Bucket delight, or is it red tits in the morning, Pus Bucket warning. People Pleaser and IC were charged for disappearing for a toilet stop at Kryal Castle but Precious, Spencer, Quick Dick, NBCL, Dumb were also charged for the earlier bush wee. Pink Bits was charged and asked to explain her cold sore and Precious was charged for short cutting the run, turns out he forgot his keys (again) on the bus. Cinderella had a charge where the fairy godmother’s spell only lasted til midnight and her vaj/penis would turn into a pumpkin. She met a lovely man, turns out it was Peter Peter Pumpkin Eater. Nummy was charged for the repeat of this joke, we’d had it before. All the Peter’s then scored a drink, including NBCL, Spartacus and Pus Bucket. Road Runner recounted a recent encounter with Masta Bait, where he said he was going to a funeral. When asked how it went, he responded that he forgot to go.
Next weeks Valentines Day run will be hosted by Big Dog from the Millers ARMS Hotel.
Our Mystery Bus trip ended up at the Gordon Pub, where we shared country roast for dinner, accompanied by a generous bar tab.
On On
Sunday, February 1, 2026
RUN 2294 – Pus Bucket – Cricket Run - Monday 2nd February 2026
Welcomes Backs went to Road Runner, Faucet, No Name, SOS & Big Dog. IC spoke up to inform us that Big Dog wasn’t here anymore, so he scored the drink. Sniffy Runs were awarded to Lois Lane on 1100 (with commemorative T-shirt), Mrs D on 888, D&C on 414, Nice Member on 11, and No Name on 13.
Mountie screwed Pus Bucket with another bible quote and mentioned the short cutters on trail. Pus Bucket went to see Dr Rowdy as he had a cricket bat up his ass. Dr Rowdy said Howzat! To which Pus Bucket responded, don’t you start.
Pus Bucket read out the cricket scores from our game held on the netball court this year. See separate post for photo of score details. Winner was SOS & Fawcett/Faucet (?spelling), 2nd NBCL & IC, 3rd Campaspe and Jus Cum, 4th Nutcracker & Mountie, 5th Rowdy & D&C, 6th Dumb & Num, 7th Fascinator & Nice Member, 8th Teflon & QD, 9th Precious & Ozzy and 10th was Pink Bits and Sparrow Fart.
NBCL had no jokes and didn’t win, so there was no victory speech. Pauline, Bad Hair Day and Normal were charged for not participating and they didn’t even watch from the peanut gallery. The Kiwis were charged for missing seeing Precious bowling and Num was charged for 2 catches. Pigs Arse was charged for losing the ball and Campaspe was charged for being a river, the ball was lost in the river. Lois and Pauline were charged for their 47th wedding anniversary. Nummy was charged too, her first marriage was the same day. Nice Member was charged for being able to sing and play guitar.
Sparrow Fart was charged for holding the cricket bat in a Pebbles impression and Nice member was charged after his tumble resulted in a nice gash. Mrs D charged Precious and IC, as she’d have a nice gash if it wasn’t for them. No name was charged for arriving in a white jacket and asking if we actually play cricket. Mrs D, Campaspe, Jus Cum and Num were charged for short cutting trail and Sparrow Fart was charged for her conversation on the walk. She talked about her modified diet to reduce farting. Pauline asked her to share this info with Lois Lane. Nummy was also interested in the info for Dumb. Rowdy was charged for making IC’s night easy with the repeated songs and People Pleaser was charged for wearing different pants that hide his nice member. The disease of the night was in incuntinence and final charge was something about the horn needing lube for the buttons.
Next weeks run is our Mystery Bus Trip. The bus will be departing from the City Oval at 6pm and cost is $25. There is no dress code, but the advice that was given was that if you’re not attractive, wear clothes and if you’re attractive, clothes are optional.
On On
Mountie screwed Pus Bucket with another bible quote and mentioned the short cutters on trail. Pus Bucket went to see Dr Rowdy as he had a cricket bat up his ass. Dr Rowdy said Howzat! To which Pus Bucket responded, don’t you start.
Pus Bucket read out the cricket scores from our game held on the netball court this year. See separate post for photo of score details. Winner was SOS & Fawcett/Faucet (?spelling), 2nd NBCL & IC, 3rd Campaspe and Jus Cum, 4th Nutcracker & Mountie, 5th Rowdy & D&C, 6th Dumb & Num, 7th Fascinator & Nice Member, 8th Teflon & QD, 9th Precious & Ozzy and 10th was Pink Bits and Sparrow Fart.
NBCL had no jokes and didn’t win, so there was no victory speech. Pauline, Bad Hair Day and Normal were charged for not participating and they didn’t even watch from the peanut gallery. The Kiwis were charged for missing seeing Precious bowling and Num was charged for 2 catches. Pigs Arse was charged for losing the ball and Campaspe was charged for being a river, the ball was lost in the river. Lois and Pauline were charged for their 47th wedding anniversary. Nummy was charged too, her first marriage was the same day. Nice Member was charged for being able to sing and play guitar.
Sparrow Fart was charged for holding the cricket bat in a Pebbles impression and Nice member was charged after his tumble resulted in a nice gash. Mrs D charged Precious and IC, as she’d have a nice gash if it wasn’t for them. No name was charged for arriving in a white jacket and asking if we actually play cricket. Mrs D, Campaspe, Jus Cum and Num were charged for short cutting trail and Sparrow Fart was charged for her conversation on the walk. She talked about her modified diet to reduce farting. Pauline asked her to share this info with Lois Lane. Nummy was also interested in the info for Dumb. Rowdy was charged for making IC’s night easy with the repeated songs and People Pleaser was charged for wearing different pants that hide his nice member. The disease of the night was in incuntinence and final charge was something about the horn needing lube for the buttons.
Next weeks run is our Mystery Bus Trip. The bus will be departing from the City Oval at 6pm and cost is $25. There is no dress code, but the advice that was given was that if you’re not attractive, wear clothes and if you’re attractive, clothes are optional.
On On
Sunday, January 18, 2026
RUN 2292 – Half a bar – 225 Dolly’s Creek Road, Morrisons - Monday 19th January 2026
Circle began with confusion relating to the status of Boner who was missing. Once it was clarified that he went home, we continued on on. Welcome backs went to Fergie, Bar Licker, Pebbles, Fascinator and Nice Member. Lois Lane sent a late amendment to this list, it was missing Pauline. Oops. Sniffy runs of note were, Pigs Arse on 50, Quick Dick on 313, and Precious on 369.
Mountie began her screw by stating that she had done more screws than Precious has had 69s. This was followed by some bible quotes about corrupting talk. Like anyone can tell Half-a-bar to don’t fu@king swear. There were low numbers of runners after Bar Licker’s efforts to set it. Teflon did it with his eyes closed and Pigs Arse with his mouth open. He didn’t shut up. Half-a-bar and Shafted were out setting a run when they came across a sheep stuck in a fence. Shafted fu@ked the stuck sheep but when Half-a -bar’s turn came around, he put his head through the fence.
We were down a few nuts this week due to the imminent birth of a grandchild. Shafted was nominated as acting sergeant. Shafted told us that he bought a ute load of ice, we were then distracted by the passing muster dogs. He claimed that Half-a-bar refused to pay for the ice, and only gave him one dollar. Shafted proceeded to drop the dollar through the deck, and announced it was for the carpenter who was needed to fix the loose boards. Shafted called Disco, myself and Half-a-bar to the front. There was a long-winded joke about kids being born the wrong colour and something about red sheep, blonde sheep and grey sheep.
Mountie and Pus Bucket were charged after Mountie gave him $100 to go buy something to make her look sexy. He came back 2 hours later totally pissed. Bar Licker charged Half-a-bar for his poor effort at purchasing gravy for tonight. She held up a tiny packet that probably only contained a single serve. Shafted then said that Half-a-bar had an erection, because he knew that there was a dollar under his deck. This resulted in Pink Bits getting a charge for the biggest snort. Criss Cross presented our leader with an award, yes an actual trophy and Rowdy charged Nice Member for hiding his member with a fanny pack. People Pleaser scored a fanny pack charge too. Shafted lost the plot and Dumb and Num were charged as Num wants to get her fanny packed too. Num scored another charge for going the wrong way at the first turn on the walk, and Pigs Arse and Teflon were charged for looking similar. Rowdy charged Shafted for backing into his car, especially as he has form, hitting a rotunda at Lake Wendouree, so the story goes. Bar Licker and Pauline were charged as Bar Licker had been drooling over her Māori shearer, especially after he got hot and sweaty and removed his shirt. Half-a-bar was charged for stealing long pants from Pauline and Nice Member was charged for not being pissed before the run. Normal was charged for cooking the BBQ and something about spit tasting better than cum??? Fergie was charged for complaining that he was an old man, when Lois is older than he is. Fascinator was charged as he was the only one not in a car on the way back from the cemetery, and he is the least able to walk back. Fergie got a drink for providing tonight’s tomato and we tried to have a minute’s silence in memory of Ballarat running legend Richard Tann. Fascinator then told us that Her Fanny has a free pussy that needs rehoming while they go traveling. This opened a can of worms that escalated until it was mentioned that someone is overdue for a proposal.
Final announcements asked for a show of hands for who was interested in going to Melbourne Lakeside for their Australia Day run. Nope! Seems there is no interest this year.
We were then reminded to plan ahead for the Mystery Bus trip on the 9th Feb.
Next weeks Australia Day run will be from Spencer Hocking’s place at 26 Durham St Newington.
On On
Mountie began her screw by stating that she had done more screws than Precious has had 69s. This was followed by some bible quotes about corrupting talk. Like anyone can tell Half-a-bar to don’t fu@king swear. There were low numbers of runners after Bar Licker’s efforts to set it. Teflon did it with his eyes closed and Pigs Arse with his mouth open. He didn’t shut up. Half-a-bar and Shafted were out setting a run when they came across a sheep stuck in a fence. Shafted fu@ked the stuck sheep but when Half-a -bar’s turn came around, he put his head through the fence.
We were down a few nuts this week due to the imminent birth of a grandchild. Shafted was nominated as acting sergeant. Shafted told us that he bought a ute load of ice, we were then distracted by the passing muster dogs. He claimed that Half-a-bar refused to pay for the ice, and only gave him one dollar. Shafted proceeded to drop the dollar through the deck, and announced it was for the carpenter who was needed to fix the loose boards. Shafted called Disco, myself and Half-a-bar to the front. There was a long-winded joke about kids being born the wrong colour and something about red sheep, blonde sheep and grey sheep.
Mountie and Pus Bucket were charged after Mountie gave him $100 to go buy something to make her look sexy. He came back 2 hours later totally pissed. Bar Licker charged Half-a-bar for his poor effort at purchasing gravy for tonight. She held up a tiny packet that probably only contained a single serve. Shafted then said that Half-a-bar had an erection, because he knew that there was a dollar under his deck. This resulted in Pink Bits getting a charge for the biggest snort. Criss Cross presented our leader with an award, yes an actual trophy and Rowdy charged Nice Member for hiding his member with a fanny pack. People Pleaser scored a fanny pack charge too. Shafted lost the plot and Dumb and Num were charged as Num wants to get her fanny packed too. Num scored another charge for going the wrong way at the first turn on the walk, and Pigs Arse and Teflon were charged for looking similar. Rowdy charged Shafted for backing into his car, especially as he has form, hitting a rotunda at Lake Wendouree, so the story goes. Bar Licker and Pauline were charged as Bar Licker had been drooling over her Māori shearer, especially after he got hot and sweaty and removed his shirt. Half-a-bar was charged for stealing long pants from Pauline and Nice Member was charged for not being pissed before the run. Normal was charged for cooking the BBQ and something about spit tasting better than cum??? Fergie was charged for complaining that he was an old man, when Lois is older than he is. Fascinator was charged as he was the only one not in a car on the way back from the cemetery, and he is the least able to walk back. Fergie got a drink for providing tonight’s tomato and we tried to have a minute’s silence in memory of Ballarat running legend Richard Tann. Fascinator then told us that Her Fanny has a free pussy that needs rehoming while they go traveling. This opened a can of worms that escalated until it was mentioned that someone is overdue for a proposal.
Final announcements asked for a show of hands for who was interested in going to Melbourne Lakeside for their Australia Day run. Nope! Seems there is no interest this year.
We were then reminded to plan ahead for the Mystery Bus trip on the 9th Feb.
Next weeks Australia Day run will be from Spencer Hocking’s place at 26 Durham St Newington.
On On
Sunday, January 11, 2026
RUN 2291 – Cinderella – Sebastopol Bowling Club - Monday 12th January 2026
Despite best intentions, Precious welcomed those in attendance at the circle in the car park of the Sebas Bowling club, to the Department of f$king around. The run had been abbreviated but the walkers didn’t get the memo and they had the drink stop keys. We were on a tight schedule and the dinner was served before the drink stop and circle. Down downs were being made from the drink stop, shandy style, half VB and half Hahn Light. But this is Hash. We were asked how do you make a pentagon with 4 sides?....Crash a plane into one. There was also mention of the Australia Day Hash Run with Lakeside Hash. A bus may be arranged if there are sufficient numbers. More details to come.
Welcomes Backs went to Pigs Arse, Lois Lane and Normal. There was only one sniffy run, Jus Cum on 292. Without fail, someone always speaks up. Pink Bits told us all that she had gone home, so she scored the down down.
Mountie screwed the run telling us that she was quite discombobulated by Cinderella’s run. We heard some bible quotes about shoes and how due to time constraints, the run was cut short, so all the runners were back well before the walkers. She also told us that Cinderella had been dumped by Prince Charming. Hearing that the carnival was coming to town, Cinderella got all frocked up with the hope of meeting someone new, but under instruction from her fairy godmother, she was told that she must be home before midnight or her vaj will turn into pumpkin. Cinderella was having a lovely time on the Ferris wheel with a new bloke. She suddenly remembered to ask what the time was. It was 10 to 12. As she was leaving in a bit of a rush, she told him her name and his name was, it was Peter Peter Pumpkin Eater.
Rowdy was called to the front. Being retired, he was cleaning out his garage with his wife. Most people use a broom. She was covered with cobwebs but she’s good with the grand kids. Pigs Arse was charged for getting back together with his ex. It was only for his money. Cinderella was charged for her run, as the best runs are those with the best drink stops and at this one, no runners got a drink stop. Cinderella was also charged for getting lost while setting trail, while chasing pussy in the sewerage farm. Pus Bucket and Mountie were charged for turning up to play golf with Dumb n Dumber, an hour early. IC was charged for making fun of Precious’ facial hair. Precious had the comeback that at least it was better than IC’s moustache efforts. Normal was charged for leaving his hat inside, but he didn’t fall for it, the hat was on his head. Mountie, trying to keep warm, was charged for being armless and Teflon was charged for explaining how to find Half-a-bar’s place. He said if you go down, you’ve gone too far. Dumb was charged for texting a Vanessa, but not knowing who it was, as it was not Sparrow Fart. Nutcracker was charged for asking why Cinderella didn’t drive to collect her car keys for the drink stop. At this point Boner and Deep Heat arrived and Boner was charged for his 45 years of Hashing. Mountie was charged for asking why the ambulance was out the front, was it for an oldie playing keno? But it was for a worker, and she wasn’t doing well. Nutcracker was charged for asking AI what her kids would look like, if she’d had some with NBCL. She’d been flashing the AI family portraits over dinner. When asked why the girls were short, it was because they were sitting down. Last charge went to Renob and Bent Nose, as they both started Hashing 45 years ago.
Next weeks run will be hosted by Half-a-bar, 225 Dollys Creek Road, Morrisons. At his house this year, not the dongers.
On On
Welcomes Backs went to Pigs Arse, Lois Lane and Normal. There was only one sniffy run, Jus Cum on 292. Without fail, someone always speaks up. Pink Bits told us all that she had gone home, so she scored the down down.
Mountie screwed the run telling us that she was quite discombobulated by Cinderella’s run. We heard some bible quotes about shoes and how due to time constraints, the run was cut short, so all the runners were back well before the walkers. She also told us that Cinderella had been dumped by Prince Charming. Hearing that the carnival was coming to town, Cinderella got all frocked up with the hope of meeting someone new, but under instruction from her fairy godmother, she was told that she must be home before midnight or her vaj will turn into pumpkin. Cinderella was having a lovely time on the Ferris wheel with a new bloke. She suddenly remembered to ask what the time was. It was 10 to 12. As she was leaving in a bit of a rush, she told him her name and his name was, it was Peter Peter Pumpkin Eater.
Rowdy was called to the front. Being retired, he was cleaning out his garage with his wife. Most people use a broom. She was covered with cobwebs but she’s good with the grand kids. Pigs Arse was charged for getting back together with his ex. It was only for his money. Cinderella was charged for her run, as the best runs are those with the best drink stops and at this one, no runners got a drink stop. Cinderella was also charged for getting lost while setting trail, while chasing pussy in the sewerage farm. Pus Bucket and Mountie were charged for turning up to play golf with Dumb n Dumber, an hour early. IC was charged for making fun of Precious’ facial hair. Precious had the comeback that at least it was better than IC’s moustache efforts. Normal was charged for leaving his hat inside, but he didn’t fall for it, the hat was on his head. Mountie, trying to keep warm, was charged for being armless and Teflon was charged for explaining how to find Half-a-bar’s place. He said if you go down, you’ve gone too far. Dumb was charged for texting a Vanessa, but not knowing who it was, as it was not Sparrow Fart. Nutcracker was charged for asking why Cinderella didn’t drive to collect her car keys for the drink stop. At this point Boner and Deep Heat arrived and Boner was charged for his 45 years of Hashing. Mountie was charged for asking why the ambulance was out the front, was it for an oldie playing keno? But it was for a worker, and she wasn’t doing well. Nutcracker was charged for asking AI what her kids would look like, if she’d had some with NBCL. She’d been flashing the AI family portraits over dinner. When asked why the girls were short, it was because they were sitting down. Last charge went to Renob and Bent Nose, as they both started Hashing 45 years ago.
Next weeks run will be hosted by Half-a-bar, 225 Dollys Creek Road, Morrisons. At his house this year, not the dongers.
On On
Sunday, January 4, 2026
RUN 2290 – Her Vajesty – 18 Sligo St, Alfredton - Monday 5th January 2026
Happy New Year Hashers! Welcomes backs went to Sparrow Fart, Bent Nose, Deep Heat and Bad Hair Day. Boner’s new years resolution was to keep Hashing, and next week he will reach the milestone of 45 years of Hashing. We were then informed of the health message that frequent ejaculation reduces the risk of prostate cancer. Sparrow fart told us that she’d been absent all year as she had been teaching in Ngukurr, NT. She described the location as being butt f@%k nowhere. Rear Entry wasn’t here, so Bad Hair Day took that one. Bent Nose was this weeks stand in keeper of the book and Sniffy runs were awarded to Teflon on 434 and Disco for 101, but in fact Disco is on 103, so Bent scored a you’re stupid charge.
Our Hare, Her Vaj, was called to the front, and was accompanied by Cinderella, who set the trail for her. Mountie began her screw with a bible reading and then complained about the outsourced run, saying it was boring. We then heard that Her Vaj had been reading 50 shades of grey. Feeling inspired, she asked Fop to get the antenna from the car and to whip her with it. The resulting sores were not healing, so she went to see Dr Rowdy. He said it was the worst case of van aerial disease that he’d ever seen.
This was followed by Dim Wits joke. What do you blow and make a wish? A breathalyser. We were then in a reflective mood, with this being the first run of 2026. The geopolitical events and such. But we were reminded that before judging a man, you should walk a mile in his shoes. Then F$%k him, you’ve got his shoes anyway. Squizzy entertained us with another new language that sounded somewhat like Bok Choy. Next there was an antisemitism charge, but we informed that we were not being unkind because they were Jewish, it was for being a C@nt. Half-a-bar, Bent Nose and Quick Dick scored a down down here. Squizzy charged Deep Heat, he’d been visiting him but needed a break and came to hash tonight, only to find him here too. Boner then showed us his tattoo (thankfully on his arm), which was reflected in a mirror (visual gag). When asked what’s his name, Boner or Renob, the answer given was Ron. Pus Bucket and Bent were charged for inaccurate filling in of the book and IC was charged for being overwhelmed when out and about, running into too many people they knew, but then they saw Spencer Hocking too. Fop charged Bent Nose for whining on the walk about it being too hot (this was prior to our recent 40oC weather). Mrs D, Campaspe and Sparrow Fart were charged for short cutting and People Pleaser was presented with a missing puzzle piece that stuck to his forehead. NBCL was charged for farting, he claims he was framed. Fop was charged for too much head, some claim there is no such thing as bad head. Bent was charged for not giving his cups back, I think he had a stack of 5 by the end of the circle. Her Vaj charged Precious, there was silence! How disappointing that he did not say that he wouldn’t be here, and she’d cooked a vegetarian option just for him. Cinderella took his down down.
Next Weeks Run will be set by Cinderella, with further information on location TBA.
Update: Location will be Sebastopol Bowling Club
On On
Our Hare, Her Vaj, was called to the front, and was accompanied by Cinderella, who set the trail for her. Mountie began her screw with a bible reading and then complained about the outsourced run, saying it was boring. We then heard that Her Vaj had been reading 50 shades of grey. Feeling inspired, she asked Fop to get the antenna from the car and to whip her with it. The resulting sores were not healing, so she went to see Dr Rowdy. He said it was the worst case of van aerial disease that he’d ever seen.
This was followed by Dim Wits joke. What do you blow and make a wish? A breathalyser. We were then in a reflective mood, with this being the first run of 2026. The geopolitical events and such. But we were reminded that before judging a man, you should walk a mile in his shoes. Then F$%k him, you’ve got his shoes anyway. Squizzy entertained us with another new language that sounded somewhat like Bok Choy. Next there was an antisemitism charge, but we informed that we were not being unkind because they were Jewish, it was for being a C@nt. Half-a-bar, Bent Nose and Quick Dick scored a down down here. Squizzy charged Deep Heat, he’d been visiting him but needed a break and came to hash tonight, only to find him here too. Boner then showed us his tattoo (thankfully on his arm), which was reflected in a mirror (visual gag). When asked what’s his name, Boner or Renob, the answer given was Ron. Pus Bucket and Bent were charged for inaccurate filling in of the book and IC was charged for being overwhelmed when out and about, running into too many people they knew, but then they saw Spencer Hocking too. Fop charged Bent Nose for whining on the walk about it being too hot (this was prior to our recent 40oC weather). Mrs D, Campaspe and Sparrow Fart were charged for short cutting and People Pleaser was presented with a missing puzzle piece that stuck to his forehead. NBCL was charged for farting, he claims he was framed. Fop was charged for too much head, some claim there is no such thing as bad head. Bent was charged for not giving his cups back, I think he had a stack of 5 by the end of the circle. Her Vaj charged Precious, there was silence! How disappointing that he did not say that he wouldn’t be here, and she’d cooked a vegetarian option just for him. Cinderella took his down down.
Next Weeks Run will be set by Cinderella, with further information on location TBA.
Update: Location will be Sebastopol Bowling Club
On On
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