We began our circle with an acknowledgment to the local landowner and an unanswered call for Michael to join us for a down down. Welcomes backs went to Pebbles, Criss Cross, Fascinator, Tommy, Riley and new runner Jacob. Sniffy runs went to Nutcracker on 424 and Fascinator on 269.
Mounties screw was full of shit about Dim Wit. Her bible had lots of quotes about fools. The run was predicted to go clockwise or anticlockwise but surprised us all by going up and down through varied environments, grape vines, grassy paddocks and through the Christmas trees. Dumb and dumber was in court facing drug charges. While awaiting sentencing he was asked to try to convince people to not take drugs. He drew 2 circles one bigger and one smaller, he tried to convince people by saying if you take drugs, your brain becomes the smaller circle. He tried again and said that the circle represents your anus, this time, the bigger circle represents the size of your anus in jail if you get caught with drugs.
Dim Wits joke. What has balls and screws old ladies?....Bingo. Followed by a related joke. How do you get old ladies to say f%ck?..... Get the lady next to her to her to say Bingo.
NBCL began by talking about Renob. He was late arriving because he was trying to get a close up of the horizon. Michael was again called to the front, but was nowhere to be found so Dim Wit, you’ll do. We were told that it takes a while to mature good wine. The question was asked, why don’t you just start with raisons? Renob was asked if he practices safe sex? He answered yes, he has a rail around the bed. Dim Wit was charged for telling us that he didn’t have enough flour for two H’s, but the H he drew was huge, there would have been plenty of flour if he’s drawn smaller H’s. Mountie was a at funeral and had forgotten to silence her phone. Just as they were taking the corpse out, it went off with “oh when the saint’s go March in”. Dumb’n’dumber was charged for something stupid, and all the Essendon supporters were charged again. Following on from last week we acknowledged Pancake Day or as I was told, Shrove Tuesday. All the Catholics were called for a down down. Hush Puppy was charged for the BBQ fire last week, IC called out “she’s not here”, so he scored the drink. Dumb’n’dumber was charged for Shafted calling and wondering where we were, he was at the wrong location and Mrs D was charged for not dancing last Saturday night. Dim Wit was charged for giving up flour for lent and Pigs Arse was charged for forgetting to message Pink Bits where Ice Ember was playing until after the gig. Little Tommy (Pigs Arse’s son) was charged for being a great runner, this was corrected to young Tommy, as little was not working. Nutcracker and NBCL were charged in memory of their Hash wedding and Mastabait and Mountie were charged for their matching shirts. Rowdy was charged for his commando roll during the run and Deep Heat was charged for setting off the very long beep during his arrival. Jus cum was charged by Lois, for a joke about bulls at the cattle yards. She was admiring the bull that had mated 150 times in a year and the bull that had mated 365 times. Spartacus was said to have answered “but did he sleep with same old cow every time?”
Next weeks run will be hosted by Bad Hair Day from the Ballarat East Bowling Club, Bradshaw Street, Golden Point, where there will be a $25 fee for the run and dinner.
Precious also reminded everyone (again) to bring their awards back asap.
On On
Sunday, February 22, 2026
Sunday, February 15, 2026
RUN 2296 – Big Dog - Millers Arms – Monday 16th February 2026
Welcomes Backs went to Big Dog, Hush Puppy, Deep Heat, Half-a-bar and Dim Wit. Sniffy runs were awarded to Dumb & Dumber on 1469, Nice Member on 13, Head Hunter on 292 and Precious on 373. IC was also charged for new shoes and did the obligatory shoey.
Mountie began her screw by telling us all that screwing Big Dog was on her unbucket list. We then had a bible quote from Proverbs 2611. It was noted that there was some old trail spotted and according to Mountie, some fabulous hills. Pigs Arse also picked up a bin that had fallen over, showing what good Samaritans we are. It was noticed that Big Dog had scars on knees from too much doggy style. A change of position was suggested, but the dog doesn’t want to.
Marking the return of Dim Wit, we had a joke. Why did God make mam before woman?....He didn’t want advice on how to do it.
NBCL was in a contemplative mood discussing how the moon f@cks up dates. The Chinese New Year is approaching and we are moving from the year of the snake to the year of the horse. It is also almost the start of Ramadan. He asked how many moon days since Essendon has won final. A quick google showed 7376 days. All the Essendon supporters, Lois, Normal, Dumb and Fawcet go a down down. This was also said to cure his grandfather mobility, making him turn over in his grave. Dim Wit was charged for completing a puzzle in 12 days and requesting a Guinness world record. The box said 3 to 5 years. Big Dog was charged for being famous on Facebook. He was photographed setting trail. However, the question was asked, why did he need to be accompanied by a car? Pink Bits charged the Dickheads for partying on after the bus trip and Normal charged Head Hunter who though she saw a pony while they were out walking. Turns out it was a Labrador. Perhaps Irish dogs are built different. Half-a-bar was charged since the bus didn’t wait for him last week and Lois was charged for complaining about the cost to renounce her British citizenship. Due to nearby children, language was modified and Nutcracker suggested shutting the gate, not sure how that’d help as it was just metal bars. People Pleaser was charged since he was teaching said child tomorrow. No name was charged as he reminisced about going to school at St Columba’s where we had the drink stop. He remembered watching the moon landing when he was there. What did lord say to astronaut?..... Kneel Armstrong. Fawcett was charged for asking why is Mountie wearing Mrs D singlet and Nice Member was charged for smoking on the run. Community announcement, Nice Member’s band will be playing at the Millers Arms on 7th March. Fawcett was charged for his clenched butt cheeks while looking over the fence at St Columbus and Pigs Arse was charged for picking up a chick on run. Cinderella was charged for no Hash gear, and for turning up late, a doctor’s appointment was the excuse. Nummy was charged for going to the Carlton corner and Dumb tried to give away a 1000 runs medal. A request was made for all trophy’s to be returned asap as awards night is coming up
Next weeks run will be hosted by Dim Wit from Michael Unwin Winery, 10 Powells Rd, Windermere
PS Our BBQ dinner was interrupted by the BBQ catching fire. The publican had to come out with a fire extinguisher and put it out, so the second round of sausages and burgers were covered in extinguisher stuff. No one got to eat any seconds.
On On
Mountie began her screw by telling us all that screwing Big Dog was on her unbucket list. We then had a bible quote from Proverbs 2611. It was noted that there was some old trail spotted and according to Mountie, some fabulous hills. Pigs Arse also picked up a bin that had fallen over, showing what good Samaritans we are. It was noticed that Big Dog had scars on knees from too much doggy style. A change of position was suggested, but the dog doesn’t want to.
Marking the return of Dim Wit, we had a joke. Why did God make mam before woman?....He didn’t want advice on how to do it.
NBCL was in a contemplative mood discussing how the moon f@cks up dates. The Chinese New Year is approaching and we are moving from the year of the snake to the year of the horse. It is also almost the start of Ramadan. He asked how many moon days since Essendon has won final. A quick google showed 7376 days. All the Essendon supporters, Lois, Normal, Dumb and Fawcet go a down down. This was also said to cure his grandfather mobility, making him turn over in his grave. Dim Wit was charged for completing a puzzle in 12 days and requesting a Guinness world record. The box said 3 to 5 years. Big Dog was charged for being famous on Facebook. He was photographed setting trail. However, the question was asked, why did he need to be accompanied by a car? Pink Bits charged the Dickheads for partying on after the bus trip and Normal charged Head Hunter who though she saw a pony while they were out walking. Turns out it was a Labrador. Perhaps Irish dogs are built different. Half-a-bar was charged since the bus didn’t wait for him last week and Lois was charged for complaining about the cost to renounce her British citizenship. Due to nearby children, language was modified and Nutcracker suggested shutting the gate, not sure how that’d help as it was just metal bars. People Pleaser was charged since he was teaching said child tomorrow. No name was charged as he reminisced about going to school at St Columba’s where we had the drink stop. He remembered watching the moon landing when he was there. What did lord say to astronaut?..... Kneel Armstrong. Fawcett was charged for asking why is Mountie wearing Mrs D singlet and Nice Member was charged for smoking on the run. Community announcement, Nice Member’s band will be playing at the Millers Arms on 7th March. Fawcett was charged for his clenched butt cheeks while looking over the fence at St Columbus and Pigs Arse was charged for picking up a chick on run. Cinderella was charged for no Hash gear, and for turning up late, a doctor’s appointment was the excuse. Nummy was charged for going to the Carlton corner and Dumb tried to give away a 1000 runs medal. A request was made for all trophy’s to be returned asap as awards night is coming up
Next weeks run will be hosted by Dim Wit from Michael Unwin Winery, 10 Powells Rd, Windermere
PS Our BBQ dinner was interrupted by the BBQ catching fire. The publican had to come out with a fire extinguisher and put it out, so the second round of sausages and burgers were covered in extinguisher stuff. No one got to eat any seconds.
On On
Sunday, February 8, 2026
RUN 2295 – Mystery Bus Trip – Monday 9th February 2026
The bus left the city oval at 6pm and then had to drive past Precious’ house as he’d forgotten his keys. The thirsty hashers consumed all the full-strength beer before we’d even left Ballarat. Our mystery trip took us via Buninyong to the Musters Arms. After a little sing song at the Bakery Hill Flagpole and the purchase of more beers for the bus, we reboarded, completed several laps of the Bakery Hill roundabout and took off in an easterly direction. The bus turned up Forbes Road towards Kryal Castle, stopping part way along the road to allow for the run/walk up the hill to the Kryal Castle carpark, where we gathered for the circle. Kryal Castle evidently didn’t respond to our email, so we hope that they regret missing out on hosting us.
Welcomes backs went to FOP and Her Vajesty. If one Dr drinks, all Dr’s drink, so down downs were shared by Campaspe, Rowdy and Quick Dick. Sniffy runs were awarded to Her Vajesty on 242, Head Hunter on 241. Pink Bits on 189, Mrs D on 889, Jus Cum on 295 and Rowdy on 1479.
Mystery person Mountie didn’t prepare a screw but came up with an apt bible quote “what happens on the trip, stays on the trip” (except for what I write on the blog). Charges went to Nutcracker and Disco for something about $2. Mountie was charged for wearing pink, a week early for ladies hash and Doodle Nuts was charged for arriving late, mid trip. There was some reminiscing about a Mystery bus trip that did end at Kryal Castle where there was a male and a female stripper. NBCL complained that they keep replacing trains on his commute. This led to a joke about chats on the train but NBCL found it funnier than everyone else, even before he got to the punchline. No Name was charged for missing out on picking up, because the drawbridge was up and Spencer was charged for putting big hands on little hands during school camp. Pauline and Lois were charged and this was interrupted by a call that the cops were coming. The Bill was charged, IC responded that he’s not here, so he got the drink. The incoming car was just someone going to the caravan park. Mountie scored a drink for red tits at night, Pus Bucket delight, or is it red tits in the morning, Pus Bucket warning. People Pleaser and IC were charged for disappearing for a toilet stop at Kryal Castle but Precious, Spencer, Quick Dick, NBCL, Dumb were also charged for the earlier bush wee. Pink Bits was charged and asked to explain her cold sore and Precious was charged for short cutting the run, turns out he forgot his keys (again) on the bus. Cinderella had a charge where the fairy godmother’s spell only lasted til midnight and her vaj/penis would turn into a pumpkin. She met a lovely man, turns out it was Peter Peter Pumpkin Eater. Nummy was charged for the repeat of this joke, we’d had it before. All the Peter’s then scored a drink, including NBCL, Spartacus and Pus Bucket. Road Runner recounted a recent encounter with Masta Bait, where he said he was going to a funeral. When asked how it went, he responded that he forgot to go.
Next weeks Valentines Day run will be hosted by Big Dog from the Millers ARMS Hotel.
Our Mystery Bus trip ended up at the Gordon Pub, where we shared country roast for dinner, accompanied by a generous bar tab.
On On
Welcomes backs went to FOP and Her Vajesty. If one Dr drinks, all Dr’s drink, so down downs were shared by Campaspe, Rowdy and Quick Dick. Sniffy runs were awarded to Her Vajesty on 242, Head Hunter on 241. Pink Bits on 189, Mrs D on 889, Jus Cum on 295 and Rowdy on 1479.
Mystery person Mountie didn’t prepare a screw but came up with an apt bible quote “what happens on the trip, stays on the trip” (except for what I write on the blog). Charges went to Nutcracker and Disco for something about $2. Mountie was charged for wearing pink, a week early for ladies hash and Doodle Nuts was charged for arriving late, mid trip. There was some reminiscing about a Mystery bus trip that did end at Kryal Castle where there was a male and a female stripper. NBCL complained that they keep replacing trains on his commute. This led to a joke about chats on the train but NBCL found it funnier than everyone else, even before he got to the punchline. No Name was charged for missing out on picking up, because the drawbridge was up and Spencer was charged for putting big hands on little hands during school camp. Pauline and Lois were charged and this was interrupted by a call that the cops were coming. The Bill was charged, IC responded that he’s not here, so he got the drink. The incoming car was just someone going to the caravan park. Mountie scored a drink for red tits at night, Pus Bucket delight, or is it red tits in the morning, Pus Bucket warning. People Pleaser and IC were charged for disappearing for a toilet stop at Kryal Castle but Precious, Spencer, Quick Dick, NBCL, Dumb were also charged for the earlier bush wee. Pink Bits was charged and asked to explain her cold sore and Precious was charged for short cutting the run, turns out he forgot his keys (again) on the bus. Cinderella had a charge where the fairy godmother’s spell only lasted til midnight and her vaj/penis would turn into a pumpkin. She met a lovely man, turns out it was Peter Peter Pumpkin Eater. Nummy was charged for the repeat of this joke, we’d had it before. All the Peter’s then scored a drink, including NBCL, Spartacus and Pus Bucket. Road Runner recounted a recent encounter with Masta Bait, where he said he was going to a funeral. When asked how it went, he responded that he forgot to go.
Next weeks Valentines Day run will be hosted by Big Dog from the Millers ARMS Hotel.
Our Mystery Bus trip ended up at the Gordon Pub, where we shared country roast for dinner, accompanied by a generous bar tab.
On On
Sunday, February 1, 2026
RUN 2294 – Pus Bucket – Cricket Run - Monday 2nd February 2026
Welcomes Backs went to Road Runner, Faucet, No Name, SOS & Big Dog. IC spoke up to inform us that Big Dog wasn’t here anymore, so he scored the drink. Sniffy Runs were awarded to Lois Lane on 1100 (with commemorative T-shirt), Mrs D on 888, D&C on 414, Nice Member on 11, and No Name on 13.
Mountie screwed Pus Bucket with another bible quote and mentioned the short cutters on trail. Pus Bucket went to see Dr Rowdy as he had a cricket bat up his ass. Dr Rowdy said Howzat! To which Pus Bucket responded, don’t you start.
Pus Bucket read out the cricket scores from our game held on the netball court this year. See separate post for photo of score details. Winner was SOS & Fawcett/Faucet (?spelling), 2nd NBCL & IC, 3rd Campaspe and Jus Cum, 4th Nutcracker & Mountie, 5th Rowdy & D&C, 6th Dumb & Num, 7th Fascinator & Nice Member, 8th Teflon & QD, 9th Precious & Ozzy and 10th was Pink Bits and Sparrow Fart.
NBCL had no jokes and didn’t win, so there was no victory speech. Pauline, Bad Hair Day and Normal were charged for not participating and they didn’t even watch from the peanut gallery. The Kiwis were charged for missing seeing Precious bowling and Num was charged for 2 catches. Pigs Arse was charged for losing the ball and Campaspe was charged for being a river, the ball was lost in the river. Lois and Pauline were charged for their 47th wedding anniversary. Nummy was charged too, her first marriage was the same day. Nice Member was charged for being able to sing and play guitar.
Sparrow Fart was charged for holding the cricket bat in a Pebbles impression and Nice member was charged after his tumble resulted in a nice gash. Mrs D charged Precious and IC, as she’d have a nice gash if it wasn’t for them. No name was charged for arriving in a white jacket and asking if we actually play cricket. Mrs D, Campaspe, Jus Cum and Num were charged for short cutting trail and Sparrow Fart was charged for her conversation on the walk. She talked about her modified diet to reduce farting. Pauline asked her to share this info with Lois Lane. Nummy was also interested in the info for Dumb. Rowdy was charged for making IC’s night easy with the repeated songs and People Pleaser was charged for wearing different pants that hide his nice member. The disease of the night was in incuntinence and final charge was something about the horn needing lube for the buttons.
Next weeks run is our Mystery Bus Trip. The bus will be departing from the City Oval at 6pm and cost is $25. There is no dress code, but the advice that was given was that if you’re not attractive, wear clothes and if you’re attractive, clothes are optional.
On On
Mountie screwed Pus Bucket with another bible quote and mentioned the short cutters on trail. Pus Bucket went to see Dr Rowdy as he had a cricket bat up his ass. Dr Rowdy said Howzat! To which Pus Bucket responded, don’t you start.
Pus Bucket read out the cricket scores from our game held on the netball court this year. See separate post for photo of score details. Winner was SOS & Fawcett/Faucet (?spelling), 2nd NBCL & IC, 3rd Campaspe and Jus Cum, 4th Nutcracker & Mountie, 5th Rowdy & D&C, 6th Dumb & Num, 7th Fascinator & Nice Member, 8th Teflon & QD, 9th Precious & Ozzy and 10th was Pink Bits and Sparrow Fart.
NBCL had no jokes and didn’t win, so there was no victory speech. Pauline, Bad Hair Day and Normal were charged for not participating and they didn’t even watch from the peanut gallery. The Kiwis were charged for missing seeing Precious bowling and Num was charged for 2 catches. Pigs Arse was charged for losing the ball and Campaspe was charged for being a river, the ball was lost in the river. Lois and Pauline were charged for their 47th wedding anniversary. Nummy was charged too, her first marriage was the same day. Nice Member was charged for being able to sing and play guitar.
Sparrow Fart was charged for holding the cricket bat in a Pebbles impression and Nice member was charged after his tumble resulted in a nice gash. Mrs D charged Precious and IC, as she’d have a nice gash if it wasn’t for them. No name was charged for arriving in a white jacket and asking if we actually play cricket. Mrs D, Campaspe, Jus Cum and Num were charged for short cutting trail and Sparrow Fart was charged for her conversation on the walk. She talked about her modified diet to reduce farting. Pauline asked her to share this info with Lois Lane. Nummy was also interested in the info for Dumb. Rowdy was charged for making IC’s night easy with the repeated songs and People Pleaser was charged for wearing different pants that hide his nice member. The disease of the night was in incuntinence and final charge was something about the horn needing lube for the buttons.
Next weeks run is our Mystery Bus Trip. The bus will be departing from the City Oval at 6pm and cost is $25. There is no dress code, but the advice that was given was that if you’re not attractive, wear clothes and if you’re attractive, clothes are optional.
On On
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)