Sharon Olsen

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RUN #2064, 22 NOVEMBER 2021

HARE: NORMAL & MASTABAIT – LOCATION: TITANIC MEMORIAL BANDSTAND & EUREKA PIZZA

33 Hashers signed the book and gathered at the Titanic Memorial Bandstand for the run this week. Mountie was not happy that someone else had signed in her usual corner of the book, so she wrote on top and made it quite unreadable. Normal announced that the on on was across the road (confusing any latecomers) and trail was 5km long. After tackling Dana St hill, passing the war games at White Flat Oval, meandering around town and a brief stop at the Eureka Flag at Bakery Hill, we then congregated at the back of skin ski & surf for the drink stop and returned to the rotunda for the down downs.

Hash circle began with a friendly welcome to our Lakeside visitors, Whippet and Gerbil.  They ought to be publicly pissed on  Further questioning revealed that Teflon kinda made them cum.  Mrs Murphy  There was also discussion about our location at the Titanic Bandstand and that the only other titanic memorial in Australia is located in Broken Hill.

Half-a-Bar then announced that someone was getting a parking ticket in nearby Camp St, but upon more careful evaluation, it was just a security patrol.

Mountie then requested Whippet hold her mut this week and began with a joke about Normal that finished with a punchline about him mishearing advice from Dr Rowdy to “get a hot Mumma” that was actually you’ve “got a heart murmur”. Then there was something about Mastabait getting old and his aches have got pains and something about Normal resembling a newborn, with no hair, no teeth and pissing his pants. Scores were then awarded for the run: Venue 0 (it was not in the bush), Terrain 14 (Dana St hill), Marking 6 (it was as tight as Jill’s Fanny), Drink Stop 10 (Rowdy was at the Drink Stop not at the Eureka Flag with the rest of us), Groovy Factor 20, giving a total of 50 out of 100.  Shitty Trail 

Both Sergeants were again in attendance and first charge was for Penny Farthing, because she last went down in 1912 (same as the Titanic). Mrs D then charged Spencer Hocking for loitering around her school and Lois charged Campaspe for her text “$55 for tight Campaspe” (oops, forgot the “s” and a comma). Teflon charged Pus Bucket for the recently sacked cricket captain and Normal charged Nutcracker for thinking that trail went past her place, but that was PMT hash. Then if one GM drinks, all GMs drink so D&C was charged too. QD charged Mastabait for having Crock instead of Mastabait on his hash shirt and Dr Death and Nurse Batshit were charged for not wearing any hash gear. Precious charged Nurse Batshit for claiming she wasn’t a real nurse, only a psych nurse, however Dr Death isn’t a real Dr either. Precious was also charged for being picked up by his Grandma last week.  She’s the Meanest 

Dr Death then charged Half-a-Bar for saying “what happens at Hash, stays at Hash”, when they were actually at Hash.  Tommy Half-a-Bar looked out…  Rowdy was charged for wearing his “Normal” Hash shirt this week and Num Num was corrected for saying that it was just Normal setting trail, when it was both Normal and Mastabait. Nutcracker was then charged for her photo in the newspaper from the Ballarat Cup. Mountie then charged D&C for chatting up young guys at the races (including Dr Death’s son), until she started talking about chandeliers. Lois then charged Precious for not attending Mitiamo, which was described as a grab a granny night. Rowdy charged Lois for something about sex with you should be sex with ewe and Pauline charged Shafted for looking for the on on in amongst the spew in the middle of the rotunda. There was then some chatter about the Goddess of Minerva (seen atop the Mechanics’ Institute). Mountie charged Mastabait for wishing that the cops would turn up to get rid of the motor bikes that kept circling Sturt St, but we don’t really want the cops to turn up as they might take issue with our congregation.  Give us an A  .

QD then charged Mrs D for mistaking The Bill for Precious, while out on trail. Only a mother can see the subtle genetic similarities. Final charge went to SS, as Gerbil was worried that some of our Hashers were named after Nazi’s.

We then finished up with charges for Sniffy Runs. Fascinator on 202, Shafted on 717, Teflon and D&C, both on 264, Mountie on 1331 and Half-a-Bar on 1271.  Get a Life 

Moving on to next weeks run, which will be set by Num Num/Dumb n Dumber. We then drove to the on after at Eureka Pizza for dinner.

Next Week’s Run – Monday 29 November 2021 - Hare: Num Num & Dumb n Dumber – Location: 103 Cuthberts Road Alfredton.

 

Sharon Olsen

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RUN #2063, 15 NOVEMBER 2021

HARE: FASCINATOR – LOCATION: BUNCH OF GRAPES HOTEL

30 Hashers gathered at the Bunch of Grapes Hotel on Pleasant Street for the run this week. Fascinator and Campaspe were gifted commemorative T-Shirts and draped in celebratory balloons as we took off on an approximately 4km trail. We then huddled out of the freezing weather at the Redan footy club for the drink stop, where nobody lingered because it was too bloody cold!

Back at the Bunch of Grapes, Hash Circle was called and Nutcracker began by spruiking her pink terry towelling hash hat, now available for $35, see Lois Lane if interested.

Fascinator was then awarded his pewter mug for his milestone 200 runs (which was actually last week).  He ought to be publicly pissed on   Do your balls hang low  Campaspe was then called to the front to be awarded her pewter mug for reaching 100 runs.  Give us an A   Get a Life  Nummy was then called for a down down, for naming Campaspe, which was then followed by the call for “if one Dr drinks…all Dr’s drink” so Dr Death and Rowdy also joined in.

Mountie then stepped up to shag the run and Nurse Batshit held the mut this week. Mountie began with a joke about Minico and Her Fanny that had something about a boob job and anal bleaching (to which Dr Death was heard to say “that stings”). Scores were then awarded for the run: Venue 0 (it was not in the bush), Terrain 0 (no hills), Marking 0 (there was no “on on”), Drink Stop 25 (cold beer and prawns), Groovy Factor 25 (again for the prawns), giving a total of 50 out of 100.  Shitty Trail 

Both Sergeants were again in attendance and first charge from before the run was from Lois Lane for Dumb n Dumber, for saying that he usually just waves it around and if that doesn’t work, then he will insert it. Cris Cross then charged Dr Death for something about not being Aussie enough and not drinking, smoking (and a few other things that I didn’t catch) enough.  He’s the Meanest 

Mrs D then charged Campaspe for driving to hash when it was her 100th run, which was followed by “if one centenarian drinks…all centenarians drink” so Fascinator received another down down too. SS also received this charge as he is the closest to being 100 years old.  She Goes with the Flow 

Mountie was then charged for almost being denied entry for not having her phone with her for her for covid check in and vaccination check. Dr Death was charged by Half-a bar for something f@#k-in something and Bent Nose was charged for allegedly dumping rubbish across the road at the Redan Footy Club.

Mrs D then charged the GM’s for misspelling Campaspe on her mug as “Campase”, to which they retorted that Donuts did it. Donuts was not there so Juz Cum, you’ll do and Juz Cum stood in for the down down. Dr Death then charged Pauline for something that I didn’t catch. Mountie was again charged for not having evidence of vaccination but entered with 2 pricks to prove it, Dr Death and Pus Bucket, so they received a down down too.

We then moved on to next weeks run, which will be set by Mastabait and Normal.  Twenty Toes  After some discussion, it was decided that it would begin from the Titanic Memorial Bandstand on Sturt Street, with the on after at Eureka Pizza. Dinner was then served and was followed by celebratory donuts for all .

Next Week’s Run – Monday 22 November 2021 - Hare: Mastabait & Normal – Location: Titanic Memorial Bandstand on Sturt Street with the on after at Eureka Pizza.

 

Sharon Olsen

Admin

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RUN #2062, 8 NOVEMBER 2021

HARE: NUM NUM & DUMB N DUMBER – LOCATION: ST GEORGES LAKE, CRESWICK

28 Hashers congregated at St Georges Lake in Creswick for the run this week. Two trails were completed over the Mitiamo weekend, so we are now up to run 2062. Runners took off on a 4km trail, while the walkers did a lap of the lake. Part way along trail, Rowdy suggested we go through the Koala Park, rather than follow trail, and we all followed him to a dead end, where on back was called. We all then continued down the next path and ended up re-joining the set trail that took us to the well-stocked drink stop located on the other side of the dam wall.

Hash Circle was called, and Mountie stepped up to shag the run and began with a joke about Num and Dumb which began with the death of Dumb, and ended with Num with a self-inflicted gunshot wound to the knee after aiming for her left breast. Scores were then given for the run: Venue 20, Terrain 20, Marking 2 (Rowdy amended the set trail), Drink Stop 20, Groovy Factor 20 (for the Koala sighting – it was stuffed), giving a total of 82 out of 100.  Do your tits hang low 

Both Sergeants were in attendance and began by talking about the recent Mitiamo weekend where Dr D took the sergeants jacket, but only revealed it on Sunday morning. We then acknowledged Fascinators 200 runs, commemorative items will be presented at another time, as they weren’t ready yet.  Get a Life 

There were lots of charges from before the run, relating to the Mitiamo weekend. Spence charged Shafted for finding a purple hair in Teflons meal, but at least it wasn’t curly. Half-a-bar then charged Teflon for using canola oil spray instead of insect repellent and Dumb charged Nutcracker for the lack of flies, because they were all in the kitchen. This progressed to the discussion of the maggots on the steak and Shafted weak stomach after seeing the maggots.  Sit on my face 

Bent then charged Fascinator for only ever having one good joke and Dr Death charged NBCL for the best dress up and moves, tour of the farm and great weekend. If one nuts drinks, all nuts drink so Nutcracker was called for a charge too. Shafted charged NBCL for the amazing sight of seeing a hare swim across the river and Teflon charged NBCL for being unrecognisable when dressed up over the weekend.  20 Toes 

Rowdy then charged Nutcracker for her new leggings, which he said were too short, but then Nutcracker mentioned that D&C had also borrowed a pair of her ¾ leggings, but they were full length on her.  Your stupid 

Mountie then charged Rowdy for changing the run and taking us down a dead-end trail. Num Num charged Mountie for running back when someone called out koala, when it was only a stuffed one up the tree. Teflon then told his story of relocating a koala to the Koala park in 1987, just prior to a bush fire that then BBQ’d all of the local koalas.  Build a Bonfire, put Chris Cross on top, put the Koala in the middle… 

Mrs D then charged Dr Death after he called Cee Cee, as at least something listens to him. Mrs D was then charged for something I didn’t catch.  No No No 

Mountie charged The Bill for seeming to let her go first along trail, or trying to touch her up. Dr Death then charged Big Dog for stuffing up the Jute Box, this was also for Spartacus who wasn’t there, so Juz Cum, you’ll do. Nutcracker then charged Mastabait and SS for asking if she had grown taller in the last 6 months.  Soldier Song 

Next, Num Num charged Fang and Spencer but I could not read my notes to explain why this charge was given.  I’m a receiver  Spencer was then charged by Nutcracker for saying he’d never been to Mitiamo before, yet there were lots of Spencer’s in the local cemetery.  Build a bonfire, put the Spencer’s on the top…. 

We then moved on to next weeks run, which will be set by Fascinator while Plucka is out of action. Since Plucka wasn’t there, Juz Cum was called to take another down down. The location of next weeks run is yet to be confirmed but could be from the Bunch of Grapes on Pleasant St or perhaps from Mount Beckworth. There was also discussion of vaccination status and again it was announced that if you’re not double vaccinated, don’t cum.  They ought to be publicly pissed on 

Num and Dumb then provided a meal of ham, chicken and salad rolls and while Bent Nose kept calling for someone to light the fire, there was no fire to warm us or toast the marshmallows.

Next Week’s Run – Monday 15 November 2021 - Hare: Fascinator – Location: TBA