Wednesday, October 28, 2020

 

Run 2004 – COVID Run 28 - NumNum from the Gong Reserve
Donuts and Evil tried the trail on early on the Friday in an attempt to avoid the crappy weather only to have the Park Ranger pull them up and point out the “No Dogs Allowed” sign. The cold and wet disappeared Saturday arvo and allowed Hash to head around the Gong trail to enjoy the fresh air and natural beauty.
Hash Zoom Circle # 30 was attended by: SpenceFopSSLoisPaulineNutsyNBCLDnCDonutsRowdyBentBPTeflonGILFDumbNumCrisCrosMountieCampaspeeBitch FaceDim WitFang and Mrs D.
Being the Monday before the AFL GF both Fang and Fop donned the Mighty Cats colours.
The pre-formality conversations were broad and included Bitch Face complaining that Tassie had been overrun with Bloody Kiwis. SS announced that he’d found a hat and mask on trial, "one like Campaspee is wearing" (she’s not wearing a mask!). Cris Cros took ownership of the mask, which made sense as it appeared to be covered in marijuana leaves (Horticultural Hash mask).
Spence announced that he’d paid for a Zoom subscription which allows for unlimited time on Zoom, but he may have fucked up as this week’s zoom was still due to finish at 7:30.
Our Screw (Bent Nose) began by pointing out the trail was set from the dunny, not the rotunda. The was mention of the “agile antechinus”, native ducks and not-so native rabbits; even Nummy’s pussy got a mention (bad timing, poor Nummy cat died a few days earlier). It was a well-set trail, except for the close proximity of the return trail to the outward trail.
Final score was 240 Megalitres (the amount of water that flows down the Yarrowee creek each day) …. Shitty Trail
Spence announce Sniffycunt runs – Campaspee 47 + Bait 1453 = 1500
Mountie 1273 – digit sum of the square root of 169
Dumb 1219 - digit sum of the square root of 169
Bait -1453 - digit sum of the square root of 169
37 runners digit sum of 1 which is the square of itself, and 37 is a prime number prime (Bitch Face said she’d prefer to be watching the Brownlow)
Stand in Sergeant was Mrs D and called charges for
Teflon : we couldn’t see his lips move while singing shitty trail. (his beard makes him look like a homeless hobo)
Donuts : for getting Evil kick out of the Gong – Campaspee saw other people there with dogs (they were allowed to walk with their dogs because they aren’t arseholes)
Num and Dumb : coming from Webster st. they’re above applying for council permits
Dumb : Nummy’s pussy is dead so doesn’t need his blue pill
Rowdy showed us his pussy
KFC and Campaspee : taking a 2.5km run shortcut
Num and Dumb (the Hares)– the drinks stop was visible more than 1 km from home
Telfon : His beard is the "GLIF tickler"
SS charged Bitch Face : a text came through from Border Force, – there are Kiwis everywhere in Tassie… keep away from our sheep!
Nummy has new shoes
Jokes
Dim Wit: What did the cheese say when it looked in the mirror… “hello me”(Halloumi)
Bitch Face: Teacher asked Johnny to use the word “Contagious”. His response; “The neighbour was painting his house with a small brush, it too that Cunt-ages to finish it all".
Next week’s run
Committee run from Sailors Falls
(ps. sorry for the delay in posting, it completely slipped my mind)

Monday, October 12, 2020

 

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Ballarat HHH Run #2003,
Hares SS and Vibes, Covid Run #27, Zoom Circle # 29
Themes; Dates
Stand In Committee
Cooking
Dogs
Zoom Attendees: Spence, Fascinator (& dog), D&C, NBCL (looking like Matt Preston), Nutcracker (& dog), Rowdy, Bent Nose, BP, SS, Mrs Dickhead, DoNuts, Mountie (cooking rissoles), Campaspe (& dogs), Fang, Bitch Face, Dimwit, and, eventually, Nummy Nummy Num Num and Dumb.
DATES – 10.10.2020*
*exciting for some, until Fang mentioned his mother passed away on 10 10 at 10 10, - now that is a set of numbers to make you believe there really is a God.
God palindromically is doG, which may explain all the whining canines present on the Zoom. It was meant to happen.
Sniffy Runs, Plucka a palindromic 202, NBCL 40, lots of digit sums adding up to 1, or the square root of the digit sum of doggy style tasty oral sex. Or something.
Bent Nose screwed the run, after an initial doggy interruption. “an excellent Hash Run, lots of bush, lots of ups and downs, a smattering of shiggy, a beautiful path, and magnificent wildlife”, with a wandering echidna spotted and photographed.
No snakes, but a glimpse of Warrenheip and trail along the creek.
Rating : stableford 42 points.
SHITTY TRAIL
Mrs D at VERY short notice filled in as screw, and performed admirably, although she did commence with a call for recent birthdays, and in the lull alluded to the day of birth and what it does to the working parts. Mountie was very excited by this conversation, burnt the rissoles, and showed us her map of St Kilda.
SS got most of the charges. Providing ‘more little boys than the Catholic Church’, ‘scaring Campaspe with his snakes’, ‘giving fishing tips to Pimp’ (who just won a group 1 race with Mr Quicky, and excited Bitch Face enormously, while Dumb claimed he got the quaddy), and 'having the drink stop in the mud’ (from the princess D&C).
Next ‘no one to fill up his wine glass’ leading to ‘June’s away with her girlfriend’ then for ‘not joining the menange a trios’, followed up by the memorable line from Bitch Face “When you can’t contribute anything there’s no point”. Well, of course. Loved it.
Mrs D aptly charged Bent Nose for the whole echidna thing, “a prick found a prick”, then pointed out the “creek” mentioned in the screw was in fact the Yarrowee RIVER.
Nutcracker (who should know these things) charged Mrs D for channelling Imelda Marcos regarding her displayed shoe collection, then was heard complaining that ‘they don’t think hairdressers have brains’. But they do have secrets.
A couple of jokes don’t deserve repeating.
Next week the Hare is Num Num, from the Gong Gong, with a drink stop on Saturday after lunch only.

Thursday, October 8, 2020

 

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Admin
 tSphons4oreindh 
Run 2002COVID Run 26; Midnight’s Daylight Savings run, Slatey Creek. Hares: Rowdy – Lois and Pauline
The hare was absent, the hosts were glamping, the run took place across 3 days and the trail was all walking and no running. Whilst this week is the traditional daylight savings run looked nothing like any daylight savings in the past, a terrific weekend was had by all.
Our Hare, Rowdy, set the run on Friday and left an abundance of beverages for the hosts to supply at the drinks stop before heading off to the beach for the weekend. Our hosts, Lois and Pauline, set up their caravan at Slatey Creek for a weekend of Hash company with many grasping the opportunity to set up camp beside them.
Zoom Circle # 28 was attended by: SpencerFop, Her Vag, NBCL, Nutsy, SS, Campaspee, Mrs D, Teflon, GILF, Donuts, Mountie, DnC, Dumb (birthday), Num, Pauline, Lois, Rowdy (from Lorne), Bitch Face, Bent, BP, Dim Wit, Fascinator, Head Hunter, Quick Dick.
Hashy Birthdays” were wished to both Rowdy & Dumb, with the later celebrating the big 70. Apparently celebrations began on the Sunday as both Dumb & Num were supporting giant hangovers. I am not sure what transpired, but apparently Nummy stuck her arse in Val Perovic’s face.
The GM (Donuts) called for reverence and welcomed everyone to the 6 month mark of COVID runs!
SniffyCunt runs: Rowdy 1250, Lois 930, Head Hunter 141, BAIT 1451, NutCracker 151, GILF 327 (Chevy motor) and Fang 842. Spencer did point out that 2002 was palindromic and the date was a Fibonacci sequence (5,10,20).
Bent Nose began his screw with his excitement in catching the live hare. Apparently he’d set off on the run only 5 minutes after Cathy and He had begun marking it and in no time had caught up to them! His suggestion that both Rowdy and Cathy dropped their pants for being caught as hares was not met with warmly by Cathy. Comments were made about the white flour clashing with white quartz. The remainder of the trail was just beautiful. Obviously the trail wasn’t virgin as it appears many gold miners have been over it before, and with gold in mind this week’s score was AUD$85.46 (the price of gold per gram).
Head Hunter was asked to lead us in singing SHITTY TRAIL, but Quick Dick informed the quorum that she had ‘fucked off to talk to her mum!’ – Quick Dick led us in Shitty Trail.
Sergeant Quick Dick took the floor and there were charges for:
"the Glampers" (Pauline and Lois), especially Pauline for his lacy negligee camping gear.
Just Cum was charged for her 3D signature on the plaster board
Fascinator tried to charge Nutsy and DnC with some long winded story about how they had flogged a swag.
Mrs D charged Lois as she was asked to bring bread, only to find she already 8 loaves there! (Bitch Face suggested that it was COVID related Bread Stress in a pandemic.)
Mountie charged Pauline who took a baptism from the Alcoholic Crazy Religious Guy in the camp beside them.
Lois charged Bent for breaking into a sweat for trying to catch the hares, stating ‘it’s not a race!’
Lois charged Mrs D as they had to roll her into bed two nights running.
Mountie then told the story of how Don’t Cum Enuf got her name.
Bitch Face told a joke about Animal Lover’s Day; "Spartacus and Pus Bucket who had come across a sheep with its head stuck in the fence, PB dropped his pants and shagged the daylights out of the sheep and when he had finished, asked Spartacus if he wanted a turn. Spartacus said ‘yes please,’ promptly putting his head in the fence."
Dim Wit finished with 2 jokes; What do you get if you cross a parrot and centipede? (walkie talkie), and What’s the German word for a bra? (Stop’emFromFloppen)
Next week’s run – Chisolm St Reserve, Hare is S.S. Drinks stop will be manned Saturday 1pm-4pm and Sunday 11am-2pm