Naughty or Nice?

I think we all know where the naughty girls are!

111 Webster St, Ballarat (yep its time to invade Num Num's Outlaws).

NUM NUTS sporn of NUM NUM survives the bush christening

Run 1377 The Old Colonist Club

Hi Everyone

What a difference a week makes. If you want your run look good then I suggest you have one the week after 1/2 a Bar's.
Not only was there trail for the runners but the walkers got one too.

Meal was also good value, plus we also got some light relief by checking out Mounties smiley face.

Welcome back Heavy, Phukwit Phil, Spartacus & Road Runner.

Significant Run - Mooseburger 16. Can you believe Doggy Bag actually asker her what she had been up to lately. Mmmm 2 weeks after her wedding I wonder what the answer would be...

Bent Nose & myself went to Western Suburbs AGM last night & for those who are interested Book Fucker is now the new GM.

Congratulations to BP & Bent Nose who are now grandparents for the 4th time. William James.
That's another little Willie in the world. Obviously takes after Bent Nose.

This will be my last blog for 3 weeks so please behave while I'm gone. Dumb & Dumber pay attention during down downs & please don't upset The Bill. He is looking after the book in my absence & I don't want him to throw it away again!!

Have a great Xmas. See you on the New Year Run.

On On
Lois Lane

Thomas 1/2 a Bar Crapper Run

How appropriate this run was held on the the International Day of the Toilet cos if anyone could have a crap run Tommy could.

1/2 a Bar failed to grasp the concept of actually having a trail to follow and the other concept of having the drink stop close to the end of said trail. I know we live in a big, wide country but I don't think, in hash terms, 5kms is considered close to the end!!

We had 1 new runner - Kerry & welcomed back Peter, who was a new runner on 1/2 a Bar's run last year. (Can you believe he actually came back.)
Both of these runners put the rest of us to shame by actually running the 5kms from the drink stop back to the cars while the rest of us squashed into a few cars. They will learn that we aren't actually runners one day.

Significant runs. Carpet Burns 60, Ellie May 160, Num Num 166

The one bright spot for the night was the meal (thanks to Julie not turning up to complain) but even that was spoiled by the cops waiting for us all one the way home after we had enjoyed a few ales.

On On
Lois Lane

Donuts Electrifying Run

Hi everyone

I'm sure you all enjoyed the run last night despite the cold wind. Donuts did well to take care of all possible contingencies.
Not only did he have a water stop on the run in case it was too hot but a hot wired fence for those who found the night a bit cold. Very thoughtful Donuts.

We welcomed back Drambuie, Remote, Heavy & Cleavage. Welcome back also to the newly weds Squizzy & Mooseburger....or was that Furburger after the honeymoon.

Significant runs: Cleavage 169, Candida 123 & Rocky & Drambuie who came together on 789.

Welcome to Lester the Molester & Scrubber from Western Suburbs. They were promoting their AGM on 2 Dec.
Ok... so I did wrongly accuse them of stealing our book but they did look like a couple of deviants and given they were from the highly suspect Western Suburbs hash what was I to think.
Sorry Bent Nose, but your character references don't count for much.

Shafted was shafted last night and got 4 down downs for the price of one. We are down to 4 glasses after Shafteds' run. All you wine connissuers (oops spelling?) who kept hold of the glasses to drink your vino in BRING THEM BACK.

Next weeks run is Half a Bar/Bras run at the Meredith pub. It is the one off the main road (the main rd pub is shut down anyway).
The meal will cost $15 for 2 courses. Fish or chicken with apple crumble for desert.

On On
Lois Lane

1/2 a Billy & Bear Box Run

Hi Everyone

Well, what a difference a tart makes. We had a 1/2 decent run, plenty of trail, lots of drinks & awesome salads. Shame we couldn't see any of the meal but I guess that just heightened our taste senses. Mind you most of us are used to doing it with the lights off anyway!

Welcome back Drop Kick & I think we drew the short straw this week as Deep Heat turned up as well.

Congratulations to Criss Cross who was our Super Runner this week. 600 runs big effort.

Significant runners were Rowdy 727, Deep Heat 797 & Snags who did it for himself & got Mounty to do it for him as well. Sign the book twice I mean..

This week was the Remembrance run & the R.A (Rowdy) revamped the Ode in honour of our fallen hashers. On On Midnight, Russell Up the Publican & Arso.
I'll put a copy at the end of this blog.

Western Suburbs have their AGM on Tues 6 Dec for anyone who wants to go.

Next weeks run is at Donuts place - 609 Post Office Road. BBQ for the on after.


Remembrance Day

We are growing old, as all Hashers are meant to grow old;
We are all railing against the dying light.
The irreverence of Hash
Attracts us,
And the heady mix of exercise, friendship and humour,
spiced with catalyst of alcohol and release
Attracts us,
As moths to a flame.

Tonight,
Beneath the light of the Southern Cross,
We honour the memory of those members of the
Ballarat Hash House Harriers
Who have flown too close to the sun.

Midnight
Russell Up the Publican
Arso

When the lights are on, and we search for a friendly face to
talk to, we shall remember them.

When the lights are failing, and we look to a tall prick to
change things, we shall remenber them.

When the lights are dim, and we wait for the magic smile to
be flashed, we shall remember them.

And always
By our fluorescent socks, we shall remember them.

At the going down of the sun, and at completely random
moments during the days that follow, we remember, and
say

ON, ON YOUSE PRICKS!!!


Cheers Lois Lane

I'm Back!!!

Hi Everyone

Your leader is back. The rellies have headed back to Scotland after a 3 week tour of our adopted country. Found out all the family secrets & the answer to that age old question 'what do Scotsman wear under their kilts'

I am also found out that speaking softly is a family trait!!! We are born with that curse.

Back to Hash matters.. Once again Glider put in a lot of work to make his Melbourne Cup night a great success. Great effort.

Significant runs this week were BP 838. Me 515 & Half a Bra 414.

Congratulations Squizzy & Moose Burger on your wedding this Saturday. Snags never had his bridesmaids on hand to share in the celebrations so Mounty got a guernsey as the stand in bridesmaid for the night.

Don't forget the venue change for next weeks run. It is now a BBQ at the Buninyong Gardens.

On On
Lois Lane

Bald Hills Run 1371

Mmmm I think the way some of us get around the runs these days maybe it should be called 'Over the Hill' run.

Well, what a difference a week makes. The run had plenty of halts, on backs and lots of visible trail plus we all started & finished together.
Well, except Half a Bar. He had to get driven round most of the run!

Did anyone else notice the way those sheep took off when they saw 1/2 a Bar running past. Obviously his reputation has preceded him.

We were all pleased to see Carpet Burns back at hash last night. Welcome back.

There was one significant runner last night. Pebbles had a pretty gross night on 144.

Happy birthday to Mrs D.

Can't let the opportunity pass without reminding everyone what an idiot Deep Heat is. While hosting a run for the Geelong hash he decided to light a bonfire right next to the wood pile (which is stacked next to the garage by the way) then... go to bed while it is still going.
Gee I wonder what that red glow is when you wake up in the morning?
2 things. They were bloody lucky to have their house still standing but more amazing is he rang 1/2 a Bar to come & help put the fire out BEFORE calling the fire brigade!! How big IS your hose 1/2 a bar.

Next weeks run is Bend Nose's at the Bunch of Grapes in Pleasant St.

On On
Lois Lane

Not quite the neverending run 1370

Hi Fellow Hashers

I know I'm a bit late posting my blog but I just wanted to make sure everyone was back from the run.
Beer Phuck had a bit of trouble with the concept of halts, checks, on backs, & we don't run marathons! In other words keeping the pack together. Never mind not being able to find those pink bits.

I heard a funny story this week that Beer Phuck thought there were mixed thoughts on the run being a good one or not. To which the reply was 'Beer Phucks v everyone elses'.

All was not lost as the drink stop was well supplied & we were suitably entertained at the On After by our visiting hasher Muka Puki from HIV Kalgoorlie.

Significant runners this week were Doggy Bag 222, Shafted 213.

Welcome back to Sqizzy & Terry.

Terry (& everyone else) couldn't remember her old hash name so she was re-christened Moose Burger.

Congratulations to Rear Entry for winning the raffle this week. There will be more raffles to come but there will be a variety of prizes & of a better quality.
Normal, I expect you to buy lots of tickets each week!!!

Next weeks run is Shafted's at Bald Hills School (see below for instruction) & On After is at his home cnr Midas Rd & Mt Pisgah Rd.

On On
Lois Lane

This week's run - 20th October 2008

Click for a larger view.

Directions for the map challenged. Head out Midland Highway towards Creswick. About 10km or so out of town you will cross a railway line. Jubilee Rd is the second left after this. Follow Jubilee Rd being careful to follow the main road and not turn off to the right.

Alternatively, head out Gillies St. After the overpass, Jubilee Rd is the fourth road on the right.

Run 1369 Daylight Saving Run

Hi Fellow Hashers

How good is to get back to bush runs & still be able to see where you're going. I love daylight saving!

Was surprised the RA didn't do a better job with the weather this week, everything considering, but despite the rain & cold it was a great run with a very convivial On After.

We welcomed back Spencer Hocking after a 3 month absence. I think he has spent all that pay rise already.
Drambuie also made it back after a long absence. Good to see you can come by yourself when you want!!!
Also, welcome back The Hill Billies, Bare Box & Bubba.

There were no Super or Significant runs although Drambuie & Bare Box came prematurely & signed on for next weeks run. You idiots.

Thanks to the girls who made it to the PMT run.
Tried to trade off Mountie while we were off visiting, under the Auntie/Niece rule but there were no takers. Probably cos there are no rules at Hash. Looks like we are stuck with her for a bit longer.

Happy birthday to Rowdy & Dumb & Dumber & congratulations to Pebbles who became a granddad last week.

Black Kettle Award (think that's what it is called) goes to Dribbles & Shoots for declaring he was a natural blonde!!
While we are on the subject of awards, this weeks Dummy Spit goes to The Bill. He went to get the book from his car after the run & hurt his leg in the process, so he threw the book in my lap & said I could keep the book!!! Oh dear some people can get a bit precious...

Next weeks run is at the Nerrina Tavern & the hare/hear/hair (can't you guys tell the difference!) is Beer Phuck.

On On
Lois Lane

PMT 100th Run

Hi fellow harriets

What a great time we had last night. Geelong turned on a beautiful balmy night, which made for a very enjoyable run.

I thought we would miss the loud overtures of Mounty on the bus trip but the tarts that went did us proud.

We had fanny flashing (no names - what happens on the trip stays on the trip!), excess drinking & even a christening. Yep Sue is now called Bare Foot Bitch. Move over Phuck Wit she is one of us now!!

We even managed to win all the raffles. Drop Kick won 2 of them but did we get to share any of them...

We figured out why no men go. It's because they all bring their own dogs, & the bigger the better. I think at one stage there were more dogs than pussies at the On After.

We tried very hard to steal something of value but they were on to us. It appears the only thing we managed to nick were 2 red plastic spoons. We just need a volunteer to pose with them stuck up their backside so we can send a photo back to them demanding they come & collect them. Any takers??

Thanks again to everyone who made the trip. It was lots of fun.
There will be a combined run held in Ballarat sometime next year so watch this space.

On On
Lois Lane

Run 1368 North Britain

Hi Everyone

Thanks The Bill for prizing yourself away from the Nude & Naked Exhibition long enough to set a run for us. Even took the time to set a walkers trail, which would have been good if Normal could read & follow the instructions!

We had a few Welcomes back. Spartacus, Sue, Snags & Mountie. Although hands up all those who wanted to send Mountie back to Vietnam or dob her into customs for bringing into the country the drug Speed then taking a double dose if it before she turned up to Hash.

We had one significant runner. Dumb & Dumber 669. Well done.

Don't forget daylight savings starts this weekend so set your clocks forward!!! Saturday night & we will see you at Rowdys new place for Stubbys Daylight Saving run.

On On
Lois Lane

Run 1366 &1367 - Tarts Rule!

Yep, 2 tart runs in a row & the RA managed to keep us wet on both days - how does he do it!!

We welcomed back Deep Heat last week & Drop Kick this week.

There were no Super Runners but SS celebrated is 1213 run.

Cleavage's run was around Redan & no doubt we will be using the trail next year & the year after, & the year after. I'm sure the paint will be there for a while to come.

It was a cold, wet night but the company & garage was warm & we enjoyed a lovely meal.

Happy 50th birthday Cleavage.

What can I say about the run this week. Fantastic? Yep that's it.

Rain stayed away for the run and no-one got lost running around the bush. That was a good thing...wasn't it? Sorry but 1/2 Bar was too noisy to lose.

Did you enjoy that award winning soup.....None of Bent Noses' runner up stuff!

Thanks Bent for the longest screw you've given for a while. I may have enjoyed it if there weren't so many people watching us esp BP...

Next weeks run is The Bills at the North Britain. That's if we can tear him away from using those viewing glasses at the Nude & Naked Exhibition.

On On
Lois Lane

Runs 1364 & 1354

Ok so I am a slack arse.

I must have spent too much time on the loo after that curry meal or maybe my Johnny Cash wouldn't let me sit down for too long.

Anyway, Vanaja's run was a beauty. Thanks FOP for setting the run & even the rain eased up in the end.

Food was awesome at both the drink stop & the on after.

We welcomed back Masterbait & Normal (well he thinks he was welcome back!!).
We also welcomed a new runner - Pain in the Dark. I think we must have scared him off as he never turned up this week.

Dumb & Dumber had a devil of a significant run. 666
AND... FOP had to drink the prick of the week for losing the Prick glass to the PMT hash the week before.

Son of Spider hosted this weeks run. Blow was a Blow in as a helper we believe.

Big wraps from the ladies for making a special trip just to get some special drinks. We love you heaps. (but not enough to show you our tits!!!)

Coincidently Spider was welcomed back this week. Are you sure he's not your dad?

Congratulations to Silic our super runner this week. 500 runs well done. I think our wine scribe & photographers out did themselves this week for his wine. Very very funny label.

A couple of significant runs also. SS 1212 (ok so it just looks good on paper) & Bear Box 50. Well done.

Mrs D was sick this week so she was replaced by the sickest person I could find. Thanks Normal for standing in for her.

Reminder PMT are having their 100th run on Wed 1 Oct & a 9 seater bus is going down if anyone is interested. There are a couple of seats left so let me know.

Next weeks run is at 801 Barkly St. Cleveage is the hare/hair/hear.

On On
Lois Lane

Titlands Golf Club

Yep, finally SOS got to see some tit but he was standing behind her & missed the lot!!

And my god, what a lot there was. There was more there than all our tarts put together. (hope i don't sound toooo bitter & twisted).

Maybe Santa Sax nether region is as big as her tits & couldn't resist pinching the penis glass to get some satisfaction on the journey home! Too bad though, as the penis police were on to her & the glass & the box it fits into (& I'm not referring to mine either) are safe back in the hands of the Sovereign Hash.

We did have some home grown important events as well.

Bubba ran his 200th run this week. Well done.
There were also a couple of significant runs. FOP 113 & Bad Hair Day 569.

Visiting Hashers. Mini Balls all the way from Ballarat via Kuwait.
PMT Hash represented by Insatiable & Santa Sax.

PMT hash were plugging their 100th run weekend @ Port Campbell on 4th & 5th October.

There will be a trip down to Geelong on 1st October if anyone is interested in attending the 1ooth run. Just let me know if you want to go to that one.

Excess Baggage is the hare for next weeks run & we are meeting at Diva's Curry Restaurant in Eureka St. Opp the Stockade.

On On
Lois Lane

Atlantic Run

Hi Everyone

This weeks run was all about quality not quantity. Whilst the numbers were smaller than usual, everyone got to enjoy one of the better set runs. The walkers also got to share in the trail and everyone finished together under a full moon. Very romantic. Well done FOP & Out the Front.

There were a few welcomes backs. Rocky, Dribbles, Hopi & Remote & even Bent Nose got out of his sick bed to come back.

Congratulations to Rocky who had a significant run. 777.
FOP had the stutters & wrote his name & run number in the book twice, while Remote wrote his using Braille signs. Both blamed their wifes. No wonder we are the knitters club!!

We learned this week that giving head is how us girls get to earn our jewelery. I was going to say there will be a ring inspection next week but mmmm maybe I won't.

Don't forget next weeks run is now at the Midlands Golf Club on Heinz Lane as is the On After. (I'm not sure how I will get there as I am boycotting Heinz Lane after I got a speeding ticket last time I drove down that road.)
Rowdy is still the hare but it is NOT a pie night anymore.

On On
Lois Lane

Another Hill Billy Run

Howdy again fellow hashers

Apologies for my tardiness for not posting this earlier. I could blame Oplympicitis but I won't.

This weeks run saw the return of Deep & Drop Kick. Welcome back.
Silic gave himself a drink cos he thought he might have been welcome back as well!

Congratulations to FOP for his 111 run.

Birthday greetings to the 2 hares. Not only do they cum together every week they also have birthdays together.

The trail this week was in keeping with the Hill Billy theme. Was inbreed & it appears only the Hill Billies ran it. The drink stop had to be taken to the the masses as no-one seemed to find it in the bushes.

Next weeks run is FOP & Out the Fronts' at the Atlantic Hotel.

Also. there is a change of venue for the following weeks run. Rowdy has had to change the venue of his run. It is now at the Midlands Golf Club as is the On After. It is NOT a Pie Night anymore.

On On Lois Lane

Mystery Run

Howdy Fellow Hashers

Hope you all pulled up ok & you managed to cope with the late night.

We had a couple of significant runs & a couple of incidental runs thrown in.

Beer Phuk 21
Carmilla 50
Dramduie 787
Donuts 454

Our new runner for the night was Sam, the barmaid. Thanks for your efforts.

I must confess, I didn't realise how fit you have to be to do all that country dancing. I think the run may have been easier but probably not as much fun.

For those in the 'A & B' teams I hope you had as much fun as I did. There was a 'c' team but I think that meant 'c' for sitting!

For anyone interested in using that venue for your private or work use, you can contact Josie of Peter anytime to make a booking. If you didn't pick up a flyer then just ask me for their number.

Next weeks run is the Hill Billy's run at the Buningyong Hotel.

On On
Lois Lane

Teddy Bears/Bares Xmas Picnic

Merry Xmas in July Fellow Hashers

What a great night and huge effort put in by Dumb & Dumber & Num Num

There were Teddy's (well ok only one) & Teddy bears every where & everyone got into the spirit of the night.
The Teddy Bear waitress were a big hit & I'm sure there were a few who had evil thoughts of wanting to breed with them!!

Food was great, drink stop was amazing, alcohol was in abundance, carols galore & company was enjoyable. How much can a Hasher Bear...

We had 3 significant runs.
Congratulations Num Num 150
Peny Farthing 569
Bent Nose 969

There were a few welcomes back.
Carpet Burns is back from studying, Doggy Bag back from the UK, Road Runner & Candida back from Vietnam & Shafted is just back.

I promised BP I would shout her on her birthday so she got a down down & to make her night, she was allowed to use the vacuum cleaner during the clean up. Who says sisterly love is dead.

We had a re-christening. Nude Fanny will now be known as Bare Box (or is thet Bear Box?).

There are now run sheets available but if you could send Pebbles your email address again that would be great as he has had a computer crash & lost our email addresses.

LOST & FOUND
To the owner of the red jocks that were left behind you can claim them next week. They were danced on, sniffed, stretched & now washed & starched. Could you also please send Pauline an email explaining how I managed to come home with them stuffed in my coat pocket! Hope it's a good one as I don't remember how they got there either & I'd like to think I missed out on something good.

Don't forget to get you Cuntry gear out of the dress ups for the Mystery Night on 4/8. Be chance to dust off the red & white checkered hankies.
Read the flyer below for more details.

Next weeks run is Doggy Bags at the Creswick Hotel.

See you there

On On Lois Lane

Super Cuntry Hoedown

Get your boots and chaps on we is going Cuntry!

Come dressed in your best Cuntry attire and get ready to ho your way through this year's mystery bus tour!

Where: Leaving from the City Oval Hotel

When: August 4th 6.30pm

Cost: $25 gets you a bus ride to paradise, a three course meal to fill your belly, drinks at very cheap (okay kinda cheap) prices and ho down entertainment!

Names to Bad Hair Day ASAP please!

GM's 500th Run

Hi Fellow Hashers

I'm back from another flying visit to En Zud and straight into my 500th run.

Thanks again to the stand in committee last week. Was any of the Super Committee there? I don't think so.
From all accounts it was a great run & everyone was impressed with the meal. Thanks Jack & Flo Jo & good luck in the West.

Last nights run was great. Heavy put on a good run (well as good as you can in Miners Rest) & cooked up a fine meal to match.

We had 1 Super Runner. Me 500.
Significant runners were Rowdy 713 & Mrs D 111.
Also a couple of welcomes back. Bad Hair Day is back from the U.S of A & Spider is back from where he's been.

Conrats to me being the Super Runner for the night. To mark the occasion there were 5 raffles for 5 bottles of wine out of the 'Knitters Club' bin of fine wine. Did you get to check out the label? Once again, another good job by our label makers.

Also, to mark the occasion I brought along the dreaded block of ice to sit on. Whilst Num Num wasn't there, we had a few Num Bums. Silic had his sperm frozen for future use but couldn't find any takers!!

Last night we didn't have our usual 'Normal friends' down down but it was noted that we had a 'Normal tantrum'. I won't name anyone, but he is a Collingwood supporter & they do get a bit precious at times don't they.

Just when you thought it was safe to go to Hash without being harassed to set a run then think again. Carpet Burns will be back next week & looking for more run setters. You never know, there may even be runs sheets available so you can start lining the bottom of your hash bag again.

Next weeks run should be a beauty. It is the Xmas in July run set by Dumber & Num Num.
It is at Mounty's Harriers Club & the theme is Teddy Bear.
Here are some of the suggestions. 1. Bring a teddy bear, 2. Come as a teddy bear, 3. Wear a teddy (you can cum in that as well if you like) or 4. just come bare.

Lastly, don't forget the Mystery Run coming up on 4 August.
Theme Hoe Down/Country/ Farmer - I think you get the picture.
Cost $25
Bus leaves City Oval 6.30pm
3 course meal
Live entertainment
Drinks at bar prices or cheaper
Home before midnight.
We will be collecting names from next week (for catering & bus).

On On
Lois Lane

Tomorrow Night's Run

Hares: Flo Jo and Jack
On-On: Ross Creek General Store Click the link for a map
On-After: As above $12 for a 2 course meal.
Stand in GM: Normal - but please don't let that put you off!

On-on!

Runs 1354 & 1355

Hi Fellow Hashers

Must apologise for my slackness in posting an entry last week. Have been traumatised by that dog Horrible Horace that D & D calls a pet, after he attacked me & chewed through my $200 boots. Had just finished therapy classes when I received a $138 speeding ticket in the mail, which I got after leaving the scene of the crime. I say put the muzzle on his rear end cos that's where my boot will go when I see him again!!!

We have had no Super Runners in the past few weeks but a few significant runs.
Pebbles 150, Jethro 150, Candida 113, Penny Farthing 567, & last week Road Runner & Dribbles & Shoots came together on 509. Congratulations.
Mustn't forget my own Dumb & Dumber award run when I read in the book Flo was on 50 then realized we had no Flo at Hash & it was actually Flo Jo. Still, take the drink any way you can.

We also had a few 'Welcomes Backs'.
Nelson, Penny Farthing, Out the Front, Haemarroids, Exit, Doughnuts, Chuppa Chup, Jack & Flo Jo & Excess Baggage. Good to see you all again.

Thanks to Cleavage, Mountie D & D & Num Num for making the trip to Lakeside AGM with me.

There were a massive amount of Down Downs at the Nth Britain & a big thanks to Rear Entry for not only organising cheap down downs but having on hand their resident accounting bar fly who made a hefty donation to the Hash coffers.

This weeks run was the Phantom run & what a great job the Phantom did off keeping out of sight! Mind you, given the sight of the only one we had there it was probably a good job.

Drop Kick, I suggest you ask Phuk Wit Phil & Deep about the joke they made at your expense. Despite Phuk Wit trying to flash his balls, on his own admission he never had the balls to tell the joke while you were there. Was very funny though.

JACKETS. The haberdasher will be taking orders for all those hashers who don't have a polo fleece jacket & would like one or those who want to update their old one. They are full zip ones & there will be a variety of colours to choose from & a range of sizes to try on.

Next weeks run is at the Ross Creek Store & the On after is there as well.
The meal is 2 course & will cost $12. Remember it is NOT byo but from memory the cans are $2.50.
The Hares are Jack & Flo Jo & it will be your last chance to catch up with Jack before he heads to Perth. Flo Jo will be with us for a few more runs before she follows him over.

The committee will be thin on the ground next week but I'm sure the stand ins will manage to keep up the extremely high standard we have set!!!!! Normal are you listening.

On On
Lois Lane

We can all imagine what a Tidy Crack SON OF SPIDER would have?

Looks more like he's been smoking crack.

Now we know why Australia is the fattest nation on earth!!!!!!!!!!!

The Sovereign Hash has gone up market - look what the hasher about town is wearing these days

NELSON "WONDER BOY" exposing his bountiful pubic hair - it's super

on-on

Bent Nose is really struggling now - is this really an anagram of PUS BUCKET, SPARTACUS AND PHUCKWIT PHIL ????

The Phucking Phantom - no it's Phuckwit Phil in drag

Parmas N Pyjamas Run

Thanks Mountie for an enjoyable run & to see everyone dust off their jarmies and accessories and take to the streets. I think Rowdy would have been the only one who could have made any money on a street corner though, which is a bit scary.

Mountie was the only runner with a significant run. 713 - Well done.

Welcome to new runner Corinna from Nerinna & welcome back to Excess Baggage, Spencer Hocking & Cox Box.

Fop where were you. We missed you at the down downs. What a shmossle that was.

Corio Bay finally got their book back. It was 'Girl Germed' up as they are a mens only hash. You should know Tarts rock!!

Once again Normal proved he is Hash's biggest loser. How can you spend all day counting your $millions when you can't even add up your runs.
And for those of you who didn't laugh at my Gay (Normal) joke here it is again. What happens when Normal puts a patch on his dick? He cuts himself down to 2 butts a day. Get it, Gay, 2 butts. Oh, never mind.

That reminds me of the hare for next weeks run. Rear Entry. Do you want some of Normals patches?
The run is at the North Britain. See you all there.

On On
Lois Lane

This Week's Run - 16th June 2008

Get out your jimmie-jams and meet us at The Bended Elbow, Lydiard St. On-After there too!

For a map click here!

Half a Bra's 400 run Rose

Half a Bra

Sparkling Rosé

400 Run Vintage

Bubbles!

This agreeable sparkling has not suffered from extended bottle age.

Pale, with a gentle golden tint and the faintest blush of soft red, the initial good craftsmanship has enabled survival of harsh environmental conditions and being poorly laid.

Once the cork has popped, a sharp nose, generous front and refreshing zest and life enhances the sparkles and slightly peachy nuances.

This beverage has the body and class to belie its compact packaging, and will complement any celebration.

Half bottle only.

SS 1200 run wine label.

Click here to see, that's if you are a member!

Look Out Mountie

She is coming to get you! Queen's Birthday run is brought to you by the run setting talents of FOP and the grog buying skills of our illustrious Grand Matress. See you at the Royal Mail Hotel down the bottom of Sebas (no screw you all, get your own map). On-After at Top Eureka.

Run 1351

Hi Fellow Hashers

Thanks Candida & Road Runner for a short but sweet run. Would have been a great run but alas, Deep Heat finally turned up.
Doesn't always pay to short cut!!!

A Super congratulations to SS our Super Sonic runner. 1200 runs is a mammoth effort & here's to many more. Well done SS.

Welcome back to The Bill . The new eyes must be working cos he actually called trail last night.
Welcome back also to Drop Kick, Hoppy & Remote.

Welcome to Tum our new runner. Hope to see you back next week.

Thanks Mountie for being an honourary Kiwi for the night & wishing the Queen a very happy NZ birthday. I know you will be at the front of the queue next week as well to wish her a very happy Aussie birthday as well.

Thanks to those runners who went to the Corio Bay run on Saturday. We got a numb bum for the effort but had a lot of fun.

Next weeks run is at the Royal Mail & the On After is at Top Eureka.

A reminder from Mountie that her PJ run is now at the Bended Elbow on 16/6 & not the Harriers Club as first advertised. Looking forward to all those who sleep in the nude!!

Have a safe Queens Birthday Weekend, esp those that are travelling.

On On
Lois Lane

CANDIDA DOWNS ONE FOR THE "OTHER HARE" - ROADRUNNER THE BOY FROM THE EAST

HASH OLD TARTS SHOW TEEEM HOW TO SUCK ONE DOWN

HUGH HEFNER EAT YOUR HEART OUT - WE'VE GOT THE REAL DEAL

OUR 1200 MAN - IN HIS SUPER SUIT & WITH HIS SUPER HOODED DICK.

WELL DONE SS & LOTS MORE RUNS TO COME

This Week's Run - 2 June 2008

Hare: Road Runner

On-On: Queens Head Hotel 146 Humffray St, Ballarat

On-After: Same

Click the map for a larger image

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Run 1350

Hi Everyone

Thanks Rocky for a great night. Just seemed a bit dodgy that the hare won his own raffle though.

Welcome to our new runner Sphynkter (oops spelling). It's good to see a bit of fresh young male talent at hash. Given that he has arrived from Vanuatu I'm sure he will need a few volunteers to keep him warm!!!

We had 2 significant runs. Candida 111 & Beer Fuck 1sex. That's 16 if those that don't know NZ speak.

Coming from good Scottish blood I am pleased to say Scotland are reintroducing their native beaver as they have been hunted to extinction in Scotland because they were such good eating!!
Take a look at yourselves Doggy Bag & Mountie. I wonder why the English & Irish beavers aren't such good eating.

If any of you want to head down to Corio Bay's big weekend, there are a few of us meeting at BP's & Bents place on Saturday at midday. We are only going for the day so come along and support our Hill Billy's. The more the merrier.

Next weeks run is at the Queens Head & the hares are Candida & Road Runner.

Queens Birthday weekend run is at the Royal Mail hotel in Sebas & the on after is Top Eureka.

On On Lois Lane

Monday Night's Run - 19th May 2008

Hare: The very beautiful and modest Mrs Dickhead

On-On: Market Hotel, Park St, Redan

On-After: Same

Run 1348

Hi Everyone

Last night was a very enjoyable night even though the meals were veeeery late for the "A" table. Thought they might have been given a side serve of weetbix!

Can you imagine organising a run that you had to drive your cars to the start & end up 6kms away from them at the finish.... Well only an engineer could think of something as clever as that.

To make matters worse, his good lady (I don't claim to be related to her) was confused over which hotel it was set from. mmmmm was it the Shamrock Hotel or the Dunnstown Pub. I wonder!!

We didn't have any Super runners last night although I did get asked why I didn't acknowledge Normals 700th run. Well, I can tell you that Normal is a dickhead. (for those who haven't worked that out already) At the AGM he was on run 668 & somehow adding the next 2 runs he jumped to 700. No wonder the money disappeared if that is how he counted it.

I do have to tell Deep that Drop Kick wasn't actually banned from the pub for her antics last time we were there. You could have brought her along - or were you just too scared to!

We do have a BIG super run coming up soon so don't miss it.

I will be away in Darwin next week visiting the 'whanau' That's family for those who don't speak Un Zud.
Bad Hair Day will be your leader for the night & the run is at the Market Hotel.

On On
Lois Lane

THE MANY FACES OF SPIDER - STEELY EYED LEGAL EAGLE

The angry auditor look - where's our public officier?

"BLUE STEEL!"

SS - single neat gay? "not that there is anything wrong with that!!!!"

Introducing Mountie's younger, prettier, smarter, better tits and with hair that moves - sister!

THE HARE ANAGRAMED AND "HARD-ON"

THE HARE

This Week's Run 5 May - Da U Day Restaurant

Hare: Dribbles and Shoots

On-On: Da U Day Restaurant
7 Wainwright St Ballarat 3350 VIC

On- After: Same

Dribbles believes that the restaurant is BYO wine (can't you all hear Rowdy cheering from where you are?). He will confirm with an email.

The Prince of Pomposity, The Baron of Bombast, The Trophy Husband enjoys a bit of a rub up after his life threatening fall at the Geelong Hash -

Our Hill Billy (Ellie Mae or is it Jethro??) back in his element - with a pack of other Hill Billies

S.S. our 1000 man fronting up for a drink with another S.S., Steam Shoes and Foggy

FERGIE - took everything they could throw at him and 17 down downs.
Has he any limits? One more truffle!

Bubba on the rebound from Pebbles

Half A Bar pretending he has more entertaining friends amongst the other "hashes"

Dumped us like we were hot potatoes!

Arse as promised

Our coach captain moments after he said "Bend over I'll drive!"

A disgusting portrait of a depraved alcoholic reprobate - pictured here with hasher FERGIE celebrating his 1000th run.

Super Hash Week 3

Hi Fellow Hashers

This weeks run was a trip to Geelong to help Fergie celebrate his 1000th run. Big effort from the big man.

There was a big crowd there & our hash was well represented. All those that went on the trip had a good time catching up with old friends or just taking in the spectacle of their first visit to another hash.

We had no significant runs although our own 1000th runner, SS, got to have a down down with other visiting 1000th runners.

Check out the photos when Mountie posts them. Lots of bum cracks & Fergie look alikes.

Oops, I did try hard to make the night a quiet, fuck free night, by driving through Meredith without picking up 1/2 a Bar & 1/2 a Bra. Were we lucky (I think) someone noticed we had missed them, so had to do a u-turn!

The bus trip was made all the better by Mountie only giving us one rendition of her seagull noises & Bent Nose complained all night the light beer on the bus was crap & no human should have to drink it. All I can say is be very scared, be very very scared at our next down downs as there are many hashers who think you often fit the 'no human' description!

Next weeks run is Dribbles & Shoots' run at Da U Day.

On On
Lois Lane

This weeks run - April 28

We are going visiting! Jump on the rainbow bus and join us as we head to Geelong for Fergie's 1000th run. How he lasted that long is a miracle of nature that medicine really ought to be investigating!

Hare: Lois Lane is in charge of the bus. Cost for the bus is $10.

On-On: Meet at the City Oval Hotel, Mair St, Ballarat at 6PM

On-After: Pub food at pub prices in G-Long!

On-Home: Bus will be leaving Geelong at approximately 10.30pm to return home (let's face it you didn't have anything important to do at work Tuesday anyway).

Super Hash Week 2

Greetings fellow hashers

Conratulations to our 2 Super Runners.
Shafted 200 runs & FOP 100 runs. Great effort.

Other significant runs were: Normal 669, Bad Hair Day 555, Donuts 450 & SOS 69.

Last night saw the introduction of the "Dick of Distinction'. We had an 'almost Spectacle of the year' nomination when 1/2 a Bar almost took the tip off Bent Noses' dick.

We acknowledged our ANZAC soldiers. Don't forget Dawn Service if you would like to hear Bad Hair Day blow his horn. Very impressive to get any action out of it on such a cold morning!

We also said goodbye to Squizzy, who is off to the US of A to check out his personal can of tuna. Don't forget Squizzy, don't lick the bottom!!

Next weeks run is a visit to Geelong - Hill Billy Country. Bus leaves at 6pm from City Oval. There will be a few drinks supplied for the trip down but you may want to take a couple of travellers for the trip home.
Bus will leave Geelong at 10.30pm.

There is also a trip to Melbourne Ladies AGM & 30th birthday on Thurs 1 May.
Cost: $20 roast & giveaway.
Dress: Hash formal - Pearls
We will leave at 5.30pm & will share the cost of a small van.

On On
Lois Lane

first time Squizzy has smelt anything approaching tuna in months!!! He'll be living on tuna for the next 5.

Incredible Bentnose is able to perform anagrams on criss crosses name and come up with this! - how is it so?? A prize will be awarded for best anagram of BENT NOSE

Now he's smiling

took 14 years but he's finally hit the ton

Significant Run Wine Labels

Tonight saw FOP's 100th run and Shafted's 200th run! Can't read them Rocky? Double click on the image to make it bigger!

Mrs Dickhead 100 run wine labels

100 run wine labels are in the members only section

This week's run - 21st April 2008

Hare: Criss Cross

On-On: Ballarat Leagues Club
Cnr of Mair and Humffray Sts
Ballarat

On-after: Same

GM Message Week 1

Hi fellow hashers.

One week down, 51 to go!!

Oops no book this week - "The Bill, where the bloody hell are you?"

Congratulations Mrs Dickhead. She was out first 'SUPER RUNNER' for the Super Hash.
100 runs. Great effort.
Watch this space as we have a few more coming up.

The past 2 mornings I have got into the shower and thought of fucking Squizzy. Keep your minds clean!! As the shower stung those scratches on my legs from the trek across the paddock I have yelled 'Fucking Squizzy!'

A reminder you can nominate award winners as we go. There will be no sheet at the end of the year asking you to stretch your memory back too far.
Squizzy's run has been nominated for 2 awards already. Gee I wonder what they are!!

Next weeks run is at the Ballarat Leagues Club. On After at same venue.
Chris Cross is the Hare.

On On
Lois Lane

Werribee Zoo Lion

This must be where the Werribee Zoo got their man eating lion that ate that Collingwood supporter!

No wonder the lion was licking his arse. Up til then his shit didn't stink!!

SUPER HASH AGM

SUPER MERKIN & WONDER BOY

"WHAT ME SORRY?" says normal

the SUPER MERKIN revealed