Circle began with confusion relating to the status of Boner who was missing. Once it was clarified that he went home, we continued on on. Welcome backs went to Fergie, Bar Licker, Pebbles, Fascinator and Nice Member. Lois Lane sent a late amendment to this list, it was missing Pauline. Oops. Sniffy runs of note were, Pigs Arse on 50, Quick Dick on 313, and Precious on 369.
Mountie began her screw by stating that she had done more screws than Precious has had 69s. This was followed by some bible quotes about corrupting talk. Like anyone can tell Half-a-bar to don’t fu@king swear. There were low numbers of runners after Bar Licker’s efforts to set it. Teflon did it with his eyes closed and Pigs Arse with his mouth open. He didn’t shut up. Half-a-bar and Shafted were out setting a run when they came across a sheep stuck in a fence. Shafted fu@ked the stuck sheep but when Half-a -bar’s turn came around, he put his head through the fence.
We were down a few nuts this week due to the imminent birth of a grandchild. Shafted was nominated as acting sergeant. Shafted told us that he bought a ute load of ice, we were then distracted by the passing muster dogs. He claimed that Half-a-bar refused to pay for the ice, and only gave him one dollar. Shafted proceeded to drop the dollar through the deck, and announced it was for the carpenter who was needed to fix the loose boards. Shafted called Disco, myself and Half-a-bar to the front. There was a long-winded joke about kids being born the wrong colour and something about red sheep, blonde sheep and grey sheep.
Mountie and Pus Bucket were charged after Mountie gave him $100 to go buy something to make her look sexy. He came back 2 hours later totally pissed. Bar Licker charged Half-a-bar for his poor effort at purchasing gravy for tonight. She held up a tiny packet that probably only contained a single serve. Shafted then said that Half-a-bar had an erection, because he knew that there was a dollar under his deck. This resulted in Pink Bits getting a charge for the biggest snort. Criss Cross presented our leader with an award, yes an actual trophy and Rowdy charged Nice Member for hiding his member with a fanny pack. People Pleaser scored a fanny pack charge too. Shafted lost the plot and Dumb and Num were charged as Num wants to get her fanny packed too. Num scored another charge for going the wrong way at the first turn on the walk, and Pigs Arse and Teflon were charged for looking similar. Rowdy charged Shafted for backing into his car, especially as he has form, hitting a rotunda at Lake Wendouree, so the story goes. Bar Licker and Pauline were charged as Bar Licker had been drooling over her Māori shearer, especially after he got hot and sweaty and removed his shirt. Half-a-bar was charged for stealing long pants from Pauline and Nice Member was charged for not being pissed before the run. Normal was charged for cooking the BBQ and something about spit tasting better than cum??? Fergie was charged for complaining that he was an old man, when Lois is older than he is. Fascinator was charged as he was the only one not in a car on the way back from the cemetery, and he is the least able to walk back. Fergie got a drink for providing tonight’s tomato and we tried to have a minute’s silence in memory of Ballarat running legend Richard Tann. Fascinator then told us that Her Fanny has a free pussy that needs rehoming while they go traveling. This opened a can of worms that escalated until it was mentioned that someone is overdue for a proposal.
Final announcements asked for a show of hands for who was interested in going to Melbourne Lakeside for their Australia Day run. Nope! Seems there is no interest this year.
We were then reminded to plan ahead for the Mystery Bus trip on the 9th Feb.
Next weeks Australia Day run will be from Spencer Hocking’s place at 26 Durham St Newington.
On On
Sunday, January 18, 2026
Sunday, January 11, 2026
RUN 2291 – Cinderella – Sebastopol Bowling Club - Monday 12th January 2026
Despite best intentions, Precious welcomed those in attendance at the circle in the car park of the Sebas Bowling club, to the Department of f$king around. The run had been abbreviated but the walkers didn’t get the memo and they had the drink stop keys. We were on a tight schedule and the dinner was served before the drink stop and circle. Down downs were being made from the drink stop, shandy style, half VB and half Hahn Light. But this is Hash. We were asked how do you make a pentagon with 4 sides?....Crash a plane into one. There was also mention of the Australia Day Hash Run with Lakeside Hash. A bus may be arranged if there are sufficient numbers. More details to come.
Welcomes Backs went to Pigs Arse, Lois Lane and Normal. There was only one sniffy run, Jus Cum on 292. Without fail, someone always speaks up. Pink Bits told us all that she had gone home, so she scored the down down.
Mountie screwed the run telling us that she was quite discombobulated by Cinderella’s run. We heard some bible quotes about shoes and how due to time constraints, the run was cut short, so all the runners were back well before the walkers. She also told us that Cinderella had been dumped by Prince Charming. Hearing that the carnival was coming to town, Cinderella got all frocked up with the hope of meeting someone new, but under instruction from her fairy godmother, she was told that she must be home before midnight or her vaj will turn into pumpkin. Cinderella was having a lovely time on the Ferris wheel with a new bloke. She suddenly remembered to ask what the time was. It was 10 to 12. As she was leaving in a bit of a rush, she told him her name and his name was, it was Peter Peter Pumpkin Eater.
Rowdy was called to the front. Being retired, he was cleaning out his garage with his wife. Most people use a broom. She was covered with cobwebs but she’s good with the grand kids. Pigs Arse was charged for getting back together with his ex. It was only for his money. Cinderella was charged for her run, as the best runs are those with the best drink stops and at this one, no runners got a drink stop. Cinderella was also charged for getting lost while setting trail, while chasing pussy in the sewerage farm. Pus Bucket and Mountie were charged for turning up to play golf with Dumb n Dumber, an hour early. IC was charged for making fun of Precious’ facial hair. Precious had the comeback that at least it was better than IC’s moustache efforts. Normal was charged for leaving his hat inside, but he didn’t fall for it, the hat was on his head. Mountie, trying to keep warm, was charged for being armless and Teflon was charged for explaining how to find Half-a-bar’s place. He said if you go down, you’ve gone too far. Dumb was charged for texting a Vanessa, but not knowing who it was, as it was not Sparrow Fart. Nutcracker was charged for asking why Cinderella didn’t drive to collect her car keys for the drink stop. At this point Boner and Deep Heat arrived and Boner was charged for his 45 years of Hashing. Mountie was charged for asking why the ambulance was out the front, was it for an oldie playing keno? But it was for a worker, and she wasn’t doing well. Nutcracker was charged for asking AI what her kids would look like, if she’d had some with NBCL. She’d been flashing the AI family portraits over dinner. When asked why the girls were short, it was because they were sitting down. Last charge went to Renob and Bent Nose, as they both started Hashing 45 years ago.
Next weeks run will be hosted by Half-a-bar, 225 Dollys Creek Road, Morrisons. At his house this year, not the dongers.
On On
Welcomes Backs went to Pigs Arse, Lois Lane and Normal. There was only one sniffy run, Jus Cum on 292. Without fail, someone always speaks up. Pink Bits told us all that she had gone home, so she scored the down down.
Mountie screwed the run telling us that she was quite discombobulated by Cinderella’s run. We heard some bible quotes about shoes and how due to time constraints, the run was cut short, so all the runners were back well before the walkers. She also told us that Cinderella had been dumped by Prince Charming. Hearing that the carnival was coming to town, Cinderella got all frocked up with the hope of meeting someone new, but under instruction from her fairy godmother, she was told that she must be home before midnight or her vaj will turn into pumpkin. Cinderella was having a lovely time on the Ferris wheel with a new bloke. She suddenly remembered to ask what the time was. It was 10 to 12. As she was leaving in a bit of a rush, she told him her name and his name was, it was Peter Peter Pumpkin Eater.
Rowdy was called to the front. Being retired, he was cleaning out his garage with his wife. Most people use a broom. She was covered with cobwebs but she’s good with the grand kids. Pigs Arse was charged for getting back together with his ex. It was only for his money. Cinderella was charged for her run, as the best runs are those with the best drink stops and at this one, no runners got a drink stop. Cinderella was also charged for getting lost while setting trail, while chasing pussy in the sewerage farm. Pus Bucket and Mountie were charged for turning up to play golf with Dumb n Dumber, an hour early. IC was charged for making fun of Precious’ facial hair. Precious had the comeback that at least it was better than IC’s moustache efforts. Normal was charged for leaving his hat inside, but he didn’t fall for it, the hat was on his head. Mountie, trying to keep warm, was charged for being armless and Teflon was charged for explaining how to find Half-a-bar’s place. He said if you go down, you’ve gone too far. Dumb was charged for texting a Vanessa, but not knowing who it was, as it was not Sparrow Fart. Nutcracker was charged for asking why Cinderella didn’t drive to collect her car keys for the drink stop. At this point Boner and Deep Heat arrived and Boner was charged for his 45 years of Hashing. Mountie was charged for asking why the ambulance was out the front, was it for an oldie playing keno? But it was for a worker, and she wasn’t doing well. Nutcracker was charged for asking AI what her kids would look like, if she’d had some with NBCL. She’d been flashing the AI family portraits over dinner. When asked why the girls were short, it was because they were sitting down. Last charge went to Renob and Bent Nose, as they both started Hashing 45 years ago.
Next weeks run will be hosted by Half-a-bar, 225 Dollys Creek Road, Morrisons. At his house this year, not the dongers.
On On
Sunday, January 4, 2026
RUN 2290 – Her Vajesty – 18 Sligo St, Alfredton - Monday 5th January 2026
Happy New Year Hashers! Welcomes backs went to Sparrow Fart, Bent Nose, Deep Heat and Bad Hair Day. Boner’s new years resolution was to keep Hashing, and next week he will reach the milestone of 45 years of Hashing. We were then informed of the health message that frequent ejaculation reduces the risk of prostate cancer. Sparrow fart told us that she’d been absent all year as she had been teaching in Ngukurr, NT. She described the location as being butt f@%k nowhere. Rear Entry wasn’t here, so Bad Hair Day took that one. Bent Nose was this weeks stand in keeper of the book and Sniffy runs were awarded to Teflon on 434 and Disco for 101, but in fact Disco is on 103, so Bent scored a you’re stupid charge.
Our Hare, Her Vaj, was called to the front, and was accompanied by Cinderella, who set the trail for her. Mountie began her screw with a bible reading and then complained about the outsourced run, saying it was boring. We then heard that Her Vaj had been reading 50 shades of grey. Feeling inspired, she asked Fop to get the antenna from the car and to whip her with it. The resulting sores were not healing, so she went to see Dr Rowdy. He said it was the worst case of van aerial disease that he’d ever seen.
This was followed by Dim Wits joke. What do you blow and make a wish? A breathalyser. We were then in a reflective mood, with this being the first run of 2026. The geopolitical events and such. But we were reminded that before judging a man, you should walk a mile in his shoes. Then F$%k him, you’ve got his shoes anyway. Squizzy entertained us with another new language that sounded somewhat like Bok Choy. Next there was an antisemitism charge, but we informed that we were not being unkind because they were Jewish, it was for being a C@nt. Half-a-bar, Bent Nose and Quick Dick scored a down down here. Squizzy charged Deep Heat, he’d been visiting him but needed a break and came to hash tonight, only to find him here too. Boner then showed us his tattoo (thankfully on his arm), which was reflected in a mirror (visual gag). When asked what’s his name, Boner or Renob, the answer given was Ron. Pus Bucket and Bent were charged for inaccurate filling in of the book and IC was charged for being overwhelmed when out and about, running into too many people they knew, but then they saw Spencer Hocking too. Fop charged Bent Nose for whining on the walk about it being too hot (this was prior to our recent 40oC weather). Mrs D, Campaspe and Sparrow Fart were charged for short cutting and People Pleaser was presented with a missing puzzle piece that stuck to his forehead. NBCL was charged for farting, he claims he was framed. Fop was charged for too much head, some claim there is no such thing as bad head. Bent was charged for not giving his cups back, I think he had a stack of 5 by the end of the circle. Her Vaj charged Precious, there was silence! How disappointing that he did not say that he wouldn’t be here, and she’d cooked a vegetarian option just for him. Cinderella took his down down.
Next Weeks Run will be set by Cinderella, with further information on location TBA.
Update: Location will be Sebastopol Bowling Club
On On
Our Hare, Her Vaj, was called to the front, and was accompanied by Cinderella, who set the trail for her. Mountie began her screw with a bible reading and then complained about the outsourced run, saying it was boring. We then heard that Her Vaj had been reading 50 shades of grey. Feeling inspired, she asked Fop to get the antenna from the car and to whip her with it. The resulting sores were not healing, so she went to see Dr Rowdy. He said it was the worst case of van aerial disease that he’d ever seen.
This was followed by Dim Wits joke. What do you blow and make a wish? A breathalyser. We were then in a reflective mood, with this being the first run of 2026. The geopolitical events and such. But we were reminded that before judging a man, you should walk a mile in his shoes. Then F$%k him, you’ve got his shoes anyway. Squizzy entertained us with another new language that sounded somewhat like Bok Choy. Next there was an antisemitism charge, but we informed that we were not being unkind because they were Jewish, it was for being a C@nt. Half-a-bar, Bent Nose and Quick Dick scored a down down here. Squizzy charged Deep Heat, he’d been visiting him but needed a break and came to hash tonight, only to find him here too. Boner then showed us his tattoo (thankfully on his arm), which was reflected in a mirror (visual gag). When asked what’s his name, Boner or Renob, the answer given was Ron. Pus Bucket and Bent were charged for inaccurate filling in of the book and IC was charged for being overwhelmed when out and about, running into too many people they knew, but then they saw Spencer Hocking too. Fop charged Bent Nose for whining on the walk about it being too hot (this was prior to our recent 40oC weather). Mrs D, Campaspe and Sparrow Fart were charged for short cutting and People Pleaser was presented with a missing puzzle piece that stuck to his forehead. NBCL was charged for farting, he claims he was framed. Fop was charged for too much head, some claim there is no such thing as bad head. Bent was charged for not giving his cups back, I think he had a stack of 5 by the end of the circle. Her Vaj charged Precious, there was silence! How disappointing that he did not say that he wouldn’t be here, and she’d cooked a vegetarian option just for him. Cinderella took his down down.
Next Weeks Run will be set by Cinderella, with further information on location TBA.
Update: Location will be Sebastopol Bowling Club
On On
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