Matthew Gibney

Admin · 21 May at 18:49

Run 1932 Chriss Cross Platypus Drive, Mt Clear
A full moon, a red moon, a bad moon rising greeted the pack prophetically as we arrived at the home of our accident prone Hare, Chriss Cross, all shell shocked from the weekend's events. All apart from Rear Entry, who true to form came in the back door, whistling Dixie, seemingly without a care in the world.
Walkers walked the walk, led by Bent Nose, and met up with the running pack at Lylia Drive, site of a previous Chriss Cross run. Together we explored the bush trails at the back of Damascus, and ended simultaneously at the drink stop, where no arguments were had until Sillic went looking for another traveller, forlorn until he read the fine print on the girly drink which stated "sugar free". All of a sudden it tasted sweet indeed.
Back at the ranch delicious soup was supplied to all and sundry to unanimous acclaim.
The circle got underway; but wait! no glasses to drink from. Grog Master Bitch Face turned up without utensils, losing 15 years of Hash history after 3 weeks in the job. A Bad Moon indeed.
Sniffycant runs to the same Bitch Face, 55, Quick Dick 88, Hare Chriss Cross 959, and Shafted 626 (This is your down down song...)
Also Rowdy 1200 runs (He's the meanest...) and drank out of a new aluminium pot glass.
Screw Shafted brought a Prop, Mr Squiggle's White board, ably assisted by Glider ("Hurry up!") , and managed a drawing that took in bicycle accidents (one nut sheared off, just like Sillic), the election (I believe in miracles, How good is Queensland !!), Hot Chocolate (Everyone's a winner), noughts and crosses, and ended up with a drawing which resembled both Chriss Cross, and Bent's nose at the same time.
When reminded he had forgotten to actually screw the run, he descended into abuse regarding grey assed flakey things that resembled trail, had a go at absent left arms, and said the trail was "actually Bent-assed".. (S H I T T Y T R A I L).
The frocked up Sergeant had Rowdy out again for 1200 runs, also Orry and Normal for something (Mrs Murphy). Masturbate charged bad hair Day in sympathy for the loss of his Aunty Doris, and all the left leaning members had a drink to Bob Hawke's timely but sad passing.(so fucken dumb)
1932 saw the date of Glider's first root, a dog placed on a tuckerbox, the rise of the 3rd Reich, and the great depression. Charges to half the Hash (There's a track winding Back...)
Mountie visited Tasmania to see the giant vagina, only for it to be missing in action. Other giant, unused vaginas were invited out the front, and as one giant vagina drinks, all... (Normal) (Here's the these cu ..giant vaginas...nts)
Charges from the election: Sco Mo's resemblance to Big Dog was noted. (him, him , Fuck him)
Dumb was charged for having the memory of an elephant, Two Dicks for noting the size of men's feet, Chriss Cross for having big feet. (his one skin hangs down.. )
Rowdy got another charge or 3 for 1200 runs and then his handwriting became indecipherable so that's all I can tell you.
Twas a good night, finished off by a large crowd at the Top Eureka. Sillic has a large pizza, most others had small.
Next week's run is from the Num and Dumb ranch at 103 Cuthberts Rd, corner of Alfredton Drive. Rear Entry is both welcome and recommended.

From Matthew Gibney's Facebook

15 May at 15:53

13 May 2019, Run 1931, Hare: Head Hunter
With Quick Dick confined to domestic duties only due to ill health, Hare Head Hunter led a very substantial pack on a well set run, south to White flat oval, along the Yarrowee a way until a right turn out of the valley, winding up to ACU until a run home down Webster St led to a dilapidated drink stop where the pack was met by the walkers, and Sillic, who managed in Lazarus like manner to make it to the free drinks AND BACK!
(that was a long sentence)
Back in the shed Fascinator led a divided Hash in the down downs. The witches of Eastwick managed to come back from the Far North with a contagious tropical disease, and unlike Quick Dick, thought they would attempt to spread it throughout Ballarat. Despite separate segregated drinking vessels they managed to intermingle quite freely. Ex GM SOS (jeSOS to himself) sensibly stayed away, and given the new tiny tidy addition to his family, "Hugo John", made a wise choice to remain of of harm's way for the time being. Congratulations to SOS and Riana on the birth.
Welcomes back to Phuckwit Phil, Pimp, and Squizzy (UGLY, you're UGLY)
Sniffycant runs to Head Hunter 180, Nut Cracker 85, and Mrs Dickhead 600-20 (must be a teacher to do a sum like that!) .. (She's all right)
Sniffycant win to Melbourne FC, and the few supporters had a consolation drink. The fewer who attended Hash last week also had a drink (get a life...)
Strange. The screw doesn't know which way he wants to do it. So far a song, then a nursery rhyme, and after producing nothing this week, Nummy Nummy Num Num saved the day with her interpretive dance /sign language which had the audience in stitches (except for the witches who were busy coughing and blowing noses. Who'd a thought Nut Cracker would be that full ??)
Anyway , run 19/31 : the age difference between Quick Dick and the lovely Head Hunter. There was a Heavy stop ("for fuck's sake, I don't want to go there")
A+ (S H I T T Y Trail)
Sergeant Mountie frocked up and announced that in 1931 Isaac Isaacs was Governor General of Australia, and Bent reminded us that White Nose won the Melbourne Cup. What he didn't tell us was that he beat Phar Lap in his last ever run in Australia. Phar Lap left the country and committed suicide. You bastard, (yar Stupid)
In the same year a Kiwi flight carrying illegal immigrants crash landed on the way to Australia (been using boats ever since), PM Joe Lyons oversaw a 10% reduction in the basic wage (charges to imperial employers Shafted and Dr Death) and in a rare ray of good news Australia gained a degree of independence from the UK.
Charges from QLD: Pus Bucket: "She's old, fat, ugly and can't skull." Except she reckons she CAN skull. (20 toes)
Nut Bush CL got the "fly in, fly down, and fly out" charge (Mrs Murphy)
Sillic told a good one, charging Susan from last week (.... How do you get dick from Michael ???) On the rebound, Sillic got a charge for being fat (>> UGLY), the Rowdy was charged for overseeing Sillic's de-evolution; and as one Dr drinks... (publicly Pissed on)
Phuckwit was charged for sacking Normal after 2 days employment, D&C for being ground zero with the ebola like flu.
Drink Stop: Dimwit left his horn behind; Orri had a horn on the run (and NEW SHOES)
and so it went on and petered out.

27 went to Top Eureka. Bitch Face shared her red wine (thank you) as well as her disease.

Next week's run is from Chriss Cross's place, 18 Platypus Drive, near the Mt Clear football oval, but please park at the front to avoid being bogged.

6 - 5 - '19         Run 1930          Market Pub

While the Cats were away ( socializing with the white shoe & 
Gucci beautiful people, in the warmer climes of FNQ), the 
mice were left to play at the Market, albeit not too many, Hash
18 in fact ( 5 bras !!). BITCHFACE was the only refugee from 
the Daintree - poor soul had to 'work' next day.
PRECIOUS wore 'the' bra to head up the super athletes on the
run, that he told us was the 1st run with a halt & 2 Drink-stops.
No idea of what happened next - the stand-in Screw took on 
the mantle of bar fly.
GM FASCINATOR welcomed TRIPLE K from Hobart, who was 
in transit in the 4 berth 'Winnie', with her 2 dogs.
Some gags followed - SS running to the car for his viagra, 
BHD at the girlfriend's, going to the car for condoms, & 
DIMWIT's sour pus. 
SHAFTED sent a great limerick (?) that was read out, then 
LOIS LANE gave HALF A BAR a drink for BAR LICKER's 
dog dying.
DIMWIT's Market zinger - Rabbits in reverse, receding hareline.

Next week's run 1931 - Hares HEAD HUNTER & QUICKDICK.
On on, 3 Davey St., On after, Top Eureka.