23 - 12 - '18         Run 1911        Lakeview

So the 13 "Get a life" crew assembled with all the Alfresco 
Set on the banks, for a pre-run refreshment, to be joined 
impromptu by HAEMORROIDS, happening past in the cab.
MOUNTIE was the hare (in Santa sparkles) saying, there's the 
On On & there's a Drink-stop. Off went the 6 Super Athletes,
leaving the bar flys (FOP drinking his craft beer... life's too
short !!) to wander on to Devon St. At the Drink-stop, were the
waiting SPARTACUS & Tracey, already imbibing the 'real' beer
& tasty nibbles.
PEBBLES said his welcome to the run, saying that MOUNTIE 
had set it very well, & thanks for everything at the Drink-stop, 
then a welcome to Tracey.
They called on MOUNTIE to screw herself. She moaned on 
about her 'bad week', but agreed it was a good run & sharply 
marked, but did have the odd 'Left turn to the Right'.
PUSBUCKET was Stand-in Sergeant, & had memorised the
limerick " ....... was it class or just arse, the Hash Screw is 
saying the latter".
                        (Shitty trail ........ ).
He continued with his 'salutory tale' about Inflatable Boy 
taking out everything inflatable (including himself) - the 
school Principal saying "you've let yourself down". All 
teachers were then out for a drink together - SPARTACUS,
PUSBUCKET, CHRIS CROS, BITCHFACE, DIMWIT & 
BAD HEAD JOB.
The Sergeant kept BITCHFACE out, calling her an arsehole,
& saying "the best part of Susie ran down her Mother's leg".
NUMMY charged THE BILL for "looking hot", but translated
that to "sweaty". DIMWIT had to run along behind MOUNTIE
exposing her knickers all the way, & CHRIS CROS for 
exposing his "plums".
                     (Put it in your hand Mrs Murphy ......... ).
MOUNTIE charged BIG DOG for walking all the way from 
home just so as he didn't have to go on the walk. BIG DOG
had a 2nd, because PUSBUCKET had seen him "marking his
territory".
                      (U.G.L.Y. ...... you're ugly).
Tracey was called on to "adopt the position" to enjoy the 
sex & running ............ arise JUST CUM.
                      (Give us an A ........ ).
The Dirty Grandpa's were next to drink together - PEBBLES,
CHRIS CROS, DUMB(er) & DUMBER & BHD, joined by
MOUNTIE who fucked up the chant ....... tell us how it goes
NUMMY ........ (There's a game called 20 toes ..... ).
The Dad Jokes were there ...... Rudolph the Red Knows Rain
Dear, trumped by DIMWIT,  The Sheep's .... Merry Christmas 
to Ewe, & then his zinger ...... Torrential rain in Japan,
raining Datsun Cogs.        Boom boom.
FOP charged PUSBUCKET for the rolls of copper wire he 
had stacked up, then MOUNTIE included THE BILL as the 
ex copper.
SPARTACUS charged HER VAG for the Sharon Stone 'flash
your gash' award, & BITCHFACE had a drink 'cos she didn't
get any of it.
FOP had the last say ... "Christmas is like anal sex ... better
giving than receiving".

Next week's run - 1912 - At Cuthbert's, 103 'Their' Road.
Run & party (reprieve !! no dress ups required).

More scribing due Jan 21st.       Happy Nooo Yearrrrr !!

17 - 12 - '18    Run 1910    Miner's Tavern

The Santas & Elves gathered for the Christmas Run, bought 
grog & ordered Dinner. PEBBLES said his welcomes, 
reminding us of the songsheet "Hash Year of the CAR-ols"
He bought PUSBUCKET a drink for his sniffycunt birthday
ending in '0', & the 1st CAR-ol 'Silent Night' "SNAG has come 
& MOUNTIE might".
(Hashy Birthday fuck you .... ) & BITCHFACE was there too.
Down along Lydiard we went, thru' the Lane Cafe' & round to 
the 1st stop - Santa & the Reindeers opposite Top Eureka.
FANG had left the price tag on his Santa gear, hoping to 
return it next day - so too TRENCH, I think.
BHD was rudely shagged behind a bush by Santa, aka
'ratemyagent' FASCINATOR.
Page 2, No 2 Shafted the Hashman ...... sing it ..... da da da,
dut dut, da da da da daaah.
On Down to Skin Ski for some BOOTLACE cheer. MOUNTIE
& PLUCKA were 1st to drink, & then the 'Good King' CAR-ol,
"HALF A BAR was cruel, rammed it with his tool". PAULINE
followed with a solo version of his 'Wanna be a Ranger".
Next the 'Hark the Herald' CAR-ol for HALF A BAR, "Fark,
the herald angels sing ..... Christ that little prick's a pain".
HALF A BAR's 3rd,  'Deck the Halls', "Fuck the sheep, it
makes me jolly, all my girlfriends get called Dolly".
PRECIOUS had Girlfriend Peggy there, with a hole in her
stocking - of course, that's a stairway to heaven.
(Give us an A) to ROWDY, PRECIOUS & Peggy.
ROWDY (the randy Doctor) stayed out there - for Cathy it's
a little finger, for SILIC it's a clenched fist !! Of course, 
SILIC's 'only' exercise is 'didly squat', & with such a 
veranda on the toolshed, how did the deck below get wet?
If you crossed Santa (FASCINATOR) with PLUCKA, you'd 
have a Cwistmas Quacker. Out for a drink all of 'youse', 
to the CAR-ol "We 3 Kings of big bellies are, SILIC, PIMP &
MR FOSTER".
(Give us an A) for BOOTLACES' continued generosity on
the Christmas Run.
On on up the hill to Irish Murphy's - enter Leo, the Santa 
lookalike, minus the red suit & a Give us an A, then the 
'Joy to the World' CAR-ol for D&C, "let every single prick at 
Hash, know that our Max has pruned her patch".
NUTCRACKER's 'White Christmas' CAR-ol was up next,
"with every touch she will ignite, & may all her 
NUTCRACKing excite", followed by the girls in duo with
the 'God Rest Ye' CAR-ol "Maxi beds with NUTCRACKER,
& they have no need for lubricant - Oh slidings of comfort
& joy". 
PEBBLES had a welcome for Peggy, & welcome back for 
TRENCH. PLUCKA was there, just out of her sick bed,
suffering 'shagger's back', & BIG DOG was a late arrival.
The 'Rudolph' CAR-ol, "BIG DOG with your nose so bright,
I'll sit on your nose tonight".        (Give us an A).
SHAFTED reeled off the runs of sniffycunts - MRS D 565,
NUMMY 545, DONUTS 717, SILIC 909, BITCHFACE 40, 
MOUNTIE 1188, PRECIOUS 131, Peggy 1, & BHD 1020.
STUBBY said 'no way' & charged SHAFFY for the words 
in his 'Frosty the Snowman' CAR-ol, "he'd like to get his 
hands, then his lips on a Stubby".
FANG had NUTCRACKER, MOUNTIE & TRENCH out the 
front, saying that he could have 1 / 6 foot woman, or 2 / 3
foot women & screw them together.
PEBBLES had BIG DOG out, & as all 'bigs' drink together,
you too SILIC.
The SS 'Silver Bells' CAR-ol was next, "As Mothers rush 
home with wet knickers, Silver Balls, it's great when they 
bang on your clitty", but DUMBER had SILIC out, because
his one & only ball just clangs !!
Then, SILIC's 'Rudolph' CAR-ol "SILIC the (one time) rotund 
runner, had a very shiny head", & you too PIMP - all 
Dalziels drink together.
New shoes, or in LOIS LANE's case, drink out of the new 
hat, to the 'Away in a Manger' CAR-ol, "Her little tongue 
teases, then slurps up the spray".
On on to the Regent, & a 'Jingle Bell Rock' CAR-ol for 
PEBBLES, "It's a swell time, to go sliding on his one horse
sleigh", & then the 'Holly & the Ivy', "AMP billed dead men,
& PEBBLES took his commission, as he billed 'em by the
hour".
PEBBLES then charged SHAFFY for the toothbrush he'd
picked up on the road.
The DONUTS 'Oh Come all Ye' CAR-ol,  "Oh, come on me 
DONUTS, oh, come ye on my face again".
PEBBLES gave NUTCRACKER a drink for enjoying the 
CAR-ols so much, & ROWDY to BEERFUCK for his gold 
lame' suit - & gold everywhere.
THE BILL was up next, (seeing as they had to keep him 
away from Peggy), with the 'Oh Christmas Tree' CAR-ol,
"Oh BILLY GOAT, how shapely is your baton?", then Peggy
& EXIT (Sue) out together - 'Oh, Peggy Sue".
Last CAR-ol at the Regent, for Karol, the 'Oh Holy Night',
"Oh PLUCKA Duck, the sweet spot found, a new & glorious
dawn".
On on to the Miner's, & a 'Little Dumber Boy' CAR-ol, "I have
a small soft tool, I'm DUMB(er) & DUMB", followed by the 
'12 Days' CAR-ol, 5 floppy FOPs, 4 fine FANGs, 
3 PLUCK(A)ed ducks, 2 BIG DOGs, & a BITCHFACE to drink
with MOUNTIE.
The 'War is Over' CAR-ol for CHRIS CROS, "He once was the 
GM, that year's gladly gone".
Next, the HEAVY Hymn 'Swing Low', & PIMP had a drink, as
he had no idea of the movements.
TEFLON, the 'Oh Christmas Tree' CAR-ol - "Oh, Granny that
I'd like to fuck, that perfect shape of arse sublime ...", & out
you come, all you Granny Fuckers.

That's it - can't decipher the hand writing anymore!!

Next week's run - 1911 - Christmas Eve Committee Run
from Lakeview Pub.

10 - 12 - '18     Run 1909     Buninyong

PENNY FARTHING's run from home, at "313" as we all 
eventually found out. Run setter was cyclist SPENCER 
HOCKING, although he used QUICKDICK's template for more 
than half of it, and didn't even go anti-clockwise. 
PEBBLES began with a welcome to "it looks like a visitor",
WETCHECK & then SPIDER. MOUNTIE had just realised the 
SPIDER return, & that began the kissy/hump outburst.
SPENCE told us "it's the usual - marked left & right, with 
some ups & downs & there's a Drink-stop". PENNY 
FARTHING reminded us of the Buninyong thugs, so all the 
valuables were locked away. WETCHECK wasn't seen again, 
so probably reverts to RESIGNATION.
The Drink-stop was very welcome, since SPENCE had added
to the QUICKDICK route, taking us over the Highway & via the
Gardens, eventually back to the Union Jack Creek.
Back at the Circle, PEBBLES welcomed back SPIDER, & then
after NUTCRACKER & D&C's badgering, SPIDER exposed the 
nipple rings.
Best Screw MOUNTIE was next, & calling up 
PENNY FARTHING, said she'd always been attracted to the 
older woman. She enjoyed the run, & even better as 
HEAD HUNTER was away & she didn't have to listen to her
bullshit & stupid BITCHFACE didn't see one mark. The Drive
mags were presented & the position on the board - 
Commodore. SHAFFY thought that was appropriate, as 
PENNY wasn't far off needing a commode. The limerick - 
"It's hard to recall, if she did bugger all, 'cos for 10 years
we haven't fuckin' seen her".
                          (Shitty trail ........ ).
Then there was a welcome back to BP, BIG DOG & PRECIOUS.
MOUNTIE had a pre Birthday drink for Tuesday's 61st (will you
still root me, or just shoot me, when I'm 61?).
MRS DICKHEAD with her sore back - ROWDY said "she's firing
(when) on all 4's".
                           (You're stupid ........ ).
DUMB(ER) & DUMBER was charged for Rachel's missing 
(stolen) car, & then D&C with her car woes, having to walk to
work etc., problem turned out to be a stone in the wheel-cap.
D&C charged NUTCRACKER for the 'freeby' at the barrister's,
being paid for with a head job.
                   (There's a game called 20 toes .......... ).
DUMBER charged PEBBLES for not being at the Friday BBQ -
he had a free AMP lunch in Melbourne paid for by some dead
people.
HALF A BAR had a drink for all the arrangement hassles on 
the 'horse day', & then it was cancelled.
                    (They're the meanest ............... ).
QUICKDICK had a drink for telling MOUNTIE on the run, 
summet about a quickie, & she asked "but hasn't 
HEAD HUNTER gone away?" That's when D&C offered to 
drive QUICKDICK home.
                    (Give us an A .......... ).
MOUNTIE charged MASTABAIT, asking him if WETCHECK 
had resigned for the 2nd time, & then HALF A BAR had the 
"fat arsed Santa from years ago" charge.
                  (Put it in your hand Mrs Murphy .......... ).
SHAFTED charged BENTNOSE for his new shoes, but BENT 
claimed that it was only clean freak BP at work.
DUMBER charged BENT for the MAMIL article on the ABC -
no Ferrari's, only push-bikes, & then PUSBUCKET was out for 
2 drinks - the pre 60 & couldn't be moulded by MOUNTIE.
                   (Asshole ..... to piss ..... for Cunt ....... ).
SHAFTED charged SS - "when did June have a run?" - D&D
hasn't run since mid June.
Last charge - FANG had D&D out for saying years ago to a 
new girlfriend & after perusing a wine list, "I think we'll have 
2 glasses of corkage - $5".
Great food for all on the PENNY FARTHING table - abundant
amount of bread rolls, leg ham, tomato, onion, beetroot, 
cheese & a Titanic size bowl of lettuce - thanks Pat.

Next week's run - 1910 - Christmas run from Miner's Tavern.
Bring extra cash.

3 - 12 - '18     Run 1908    Brown Hill Pub

SQUIZZY's return for a run from 'The Brown' (& another 
chance for SHAFFY to rush in as we leave). 
SQUIZZY told us that it took him 3 hrs to walk it, it's marked
in chalk & daubs of flour, walkers see NORMAL, the On On's
out the front & go North, to which we went directly South.
It wasn't long before we were up & down the goat tracks by
the Freeway, & then into the bush. The icy-pole stop saw 
walkers & runners re-group, before taking the track by the 
creek & back to the mid beer Drink-stop (that wasn't stolen!).
Back at the Circle, PEBBLES welcomed visitors 
DOWN UNDERWEAR & JUST FUCKING LOST, 
(HH & QD's mates).
                     (This is your down down song .... ).
Next, a welcome back for STUBBY.
                     (U.G.L.Y.   .......... you'r ugly).
PEBBLES had a charge for Hare SQUIZZY, for sending a 
photo of himself on a tractor, in the 'Year of the Car', & then
saying that tonight would involve a Christmas Toast, but 
didn't say whether it would be raisin bread or not.
                      (No no, bad ........ ).
Best Screw MOUNTIE welcomed the visitors as well, & then
produced the "Hope you come back" card from Gold Bus.
The Drive mags were next & then 'summet' about D&C trying 
to break into a car. She reckoned the icy-poles were crap, but 
the one little highlight was alcohol on the run, but it was 
light beer, so not a good position on the board. The limerick,
"His previous run would've been fun, but someone pinched
the Drink-stop".
                         (Shitty trail ....... ).
Sergeant SHAFTED looked around "Where are you SQUIZZY -
I can't see you - a great job even though MOUNTIE didn't 
like it".
LOIS LANE had a drink for saying that SHAFTED had never 
been to PMT, but SHAFFY said that there was no invitation.
TEFLON charged PEBBLES for driving a Peugeot to the 
'70 Years of Holden' display, then SQUIZZY for the 4 tarts 
asking "how long is it?"
                    (Put it in your hand Mrs Murphy ....... ).
MOUNTIE charged BITCHFACE for her photo with the 
spray can, & then PIMP was out for the sight gag of the
look alike green man photo.
HALF A BAR charged SILIC for waiting till the bar closed
at NUMMY's party, before he walked up to have his shout.
                    (A soldier ....., to piss ....., for cunt ......).
MRS DICKHEAD charged LOIS LANE for the look alike
wedding picture on the back of the green man page, then
CHRIS CROS to MOUNTIE for noticing the "Winding back
speedo" Car Dealer on the run (in the 'year of the car').
ROWDY gave SS a drink for pointing out that the VB 
Brewery started in 1854, the same year as Eureka & the 
Southern Cross Flag - Dec 3rd, & as all Brits drink together,
you too HEAD HUNTER & JUST FUCKING LOST.
                    (These feet, these hands ........ ).
PIMP & FASCINATOR had been discussing about a block
of land to agist horses, but now PIMP is gonna' agist 
virtual horses.
                    (You're stupid ......... ).
QUICKDICK charged CHRIS CROS & JUST FUCKING LOST,
saying that there was some kind of 'Geriatric Hipster
Movement' in place, & BITCHFACE couldn't tell them apart.
                     (They're the meanest .............. ).
PUSBUCKET trotted out the gag to ROWDY about the
'Digital Rectal' producing an erection, & as all Dr's drink ....
you too QUICKDICK.
                      (Give us an A ............. ).
Last charge - for HEAD HUNTER going OS.
                       (Fuck off ya cunt ............ ).

Next week's run - 1909 - Hare PENNY FARTHING from home,
                                          ?? Eyre St., Buninyong.