15 - 10 - '18      Run 1901      Slatey Creek

The Bogan Bitches MOUNTIE & BITCHFACE's run, with 30+
Hashers, some happy campers & the Bogan Engagees. 
HEAD HUNTER & QUICKDICK were embarrassed in front of
the O.S. mates, for getting lost, even deciding to go in the 
opposite direction that HALF A BAR suggested.
FROZEN BALLS & PIRATE of the CARIBBEAN were 
introduced, & then MOUNTIE told us of the beautifully marked
4k run, but be careful of the deep mine shafts. "What about 
the walkers?" ...... "Fuck the walkers".
A good bush run followed, with a few ups & downs along the
goat tracks, eventually ending up at the VB Drink-stop, with
party pies & lollies, to boot. The "Bogan Engagees" were 
content laying on the dry stony river-bed, in their pre-coital 
anticipation, taking in all the marital advice from the Hash 
divorcees, REAR ENTRY et al.

Back at the Circle, a welcome for O.S. visitors FROZEN 
BALLS & the PIRATE.
            ......... wait for it ....... (Oughta be ........ ).
BENTNOSE was Stand-in Screw seeing as Best Hash Screw
MOUNTIE couldn't screw herself, but did her best "girl on girl"
with 2nd Best Screw BITCHFACE. The visitors were looking 
for a 10k run, but they had to get fucked, & then we heard of
the magnificently set run, with the walkers getting to see a
NUMMY kangaroo, & the girls seeing a lot of "shafts".
The limerick ..... "if you're not impressed, then be our guest,
& go fuck yourself".
                              (Shitty trail ............ ).
ROWDY had his own limerick,  "......... swallowing sprog .......
...... a mouthful is gone in a wink", (didn't pass on his script,
it went straight into the fire).
PEBBLES charged old fart DUMBER for going arse-up on 
level ground, giving him a corky.
                             (You're stupid ........... ).
Sergeant SHAFTED's sniffycunt runs were DAZED & 
CONFUSED 121, DONUTS 711, BENTNOSE 1312, BIG DOG 21,
& FROZEN and PIRATE 1 a piece.
                              (Get a life .............. ).
PLUCKA asked "What's for tea?" .... Blind venison ...........
........ - no eyedear !! PIMP had a drink as well, for finding the 
On On's every time.
                              (They're alright ........... ).
MRS DICKHEAD gave BENTNOSE & the son, PRECIOUS a
drink for their riotous effort collecting logs, with BENT full of
his own importance (well, who knew ??). PRECIOUS stayed 
out for a 2nd for his statement, "Oh, cum on Mum" - ewww!!
                          (She's a lumberjack ............... ).
QUICKDICK called out HALF "AN IDIOT" for getting lost & 
then pointing "go that way", but it was still wrong.
FANG charged MOUNTIE for asking for a 'log', & 
NUTCRACKER for producing her 'log of dog shit'.
                          (They're the meanest ............. ).
DUMBER charged QUICKDICK for his bogan Hi-viz gear, & 
not realizing that all Ballarat bogans wear Hi-viz, then FANG
had a drink for putting his knee support on the wrong side.
BITCHFACE & MOUNTIE were talking about 'tram tracks' or
a 'landing strip' on the lazered fanny, but DONUTS thought
it was more like a 'tram museum'.
DUMBER charged MOUNTIE for only remembering stuff
when she takes a shit, & PRECIOUS to HALF A BAR for his
'formal' wear at the bogan run.
                     (A soldier, a cunt, a country .............. ).
BENTNOSE charged BITCHFACE for mocking his 'bent'
finger (is anything else bent ?), with the print on the back 
of her shirt, then PEBBLES had a drink for crossing the line
in the marathon, & DIMWIT for the half. 
In DIMWIT's absence, BENTNOSE was installed to do the 
Dad Joke ....... "how many tickles to make an octopus 
laugh?" ........... ten tickles !!   (Bring back the DIM .... ).
Last charge for FROZEN BALLS, for cumming all the way
to OZ, just to see the bogans.
                      (Put it in your hand Mrs Murphy .......... ).
LOIS LANE & HER VAGESTY were Stand-in Chefs for the 
rissoles & onions, with tomato, lettuce & cheese, followed
by the obligatory (& very nice) MOUNTIE carrot cake.

Next week's run - 1902 - Black Tie Night from Reptile Gulch
Sheltered Workshop at 6pm.

8 - 10 - '18     Run 1900     Nuggety Dam

ROWDY's traditional "Start of Daylight Savings Run" - with
the Hare resplendent in rainbow beanie & the fire roaring.
The Uber Driver Scribe was a late starter due to pick-ups
from South Daylesford & East Ararat, arriving just as the run
got under way. The 8 bar flys managed to struggle the 200m 
walk into the bush, to the well stocked Drink-stop.
Back at the Circle, QUICKDICK had an unsuccessful call for
reverence, followed with a bit more success from the bride, 
HEADHUNTER, & then a welcome for new runner Willie.
                      (He's alright ......... ).
MOUNTIE began the screw with the Drive Mag, then said 
about it being good to be back on a bush run. D&C likes a 
bush run she said, & the guys love going thru' "Max's bush",
- but hasn't she got a brazillian ?? The girls arrived early to
collect the wood, & the guys all had woodies watching them,
especially NUTCRACKER's arse. DONUTS quipped that 
MOUNTIE's arse could be higher, but then she was standing 
on a stump, & then there was the "arse off" between 
NUTCRACKER & MOUNTIE. ROWDY had to take 2nd place 
on the Leader Board, "because he can do better !!", & then
the Limerick - "In the bedroom ROWDY can't be trusted, & 
the known Hash floozy feared her arse had been busted".
                         (Shitty Trail ........... ).
It's dark by this stage, & the Stand in Scribe can't fcn see,
so charges may include but not limited to ............... !!
Stand in Sergeant SPENCER HOCKING had PEBBLES out
for the 1900th, & then for some reason, LOIS LANE, BP,
BENTNOSE & Willie.
                          (They're the meanest ........... ).
Sniffycunt runs were NUTCRACKER 58, DIMWIT 58, 
BENTNOSE ? ( SPENCE spruiked some 'familial reverse
palindromic' bullshit), DONUTS 710, PLUCKA 202, LOIS 848,
THE BILL?, REAR ENTRY?, GLIDER? & PRECIOUS? (more
than REARY).
                          (Here's to the old farts ............ ).
FASCINATOR charged REAR ENTRY for some-et about
NUTCRACKER & being pulled off in Kent St, then LOIS to
BP ............ about borrowing the car.
GILF took a drink from MRS DICKHEAD for not going on
runs, but happy to get on the bus. MOUNTIE wanted 
NUTCRACKER to explain all about a blow job, & BIG DOG
now has his eBike.
                (Put it in your hand Mrs Murphy ............. ).
QUICKDICK called SPENCE out for winning the "best mask"
award, but reckons he didn't have it on at the time. The bus
go-ers were next - GILF, HEAD HUNTER, PLUCKA, MOUNTIE,
BITCHFACE, PUSBUCKET & QUICKDICK.
                            (You'rs ugly ............ ).
DIMWIT's zinger was a charge for SS for old fart multi tasking,
being able to sneeze, piss & fart all at the one time.
                            (He's the meanest ............. ).
MOUNTIE charged NUTCRACKER for some-et about a hash
hole, not MOUNTIE's hole.
                            (Oughta be .................... ).
By this stage, sausages were sizzling, there was a great 
toasting fire, & good to be back in the bush.

Next week's run - 1901 - Hares combined BITCHFACE &
MOUNTIE from Slatey Creek.
                        

1 - 10 - '18      Run 1899     Midlands Golf

The Virgin Hare "Richie Run" who doesn't !! Supposed to be
On After at Eureka Pizza, but in the confusion, the Food Van
turned up after all, & talking of confusion, CHRIS CROS was
Stand-in Choirmaster.
Richie said about a 4.2k run from the Canon out front, & a bit 
like Bathurst, reasonably flat with a bit of a hill, & a Drink-stop.
12 Super Athletes took to the streets around Midlands, a bit 
reminiscent of some previous ROWDY runs, & made a few
impromptu halts to keep the throng together. The well stocked
Carlton Drink-stop was in the garage of the Hare - minus the
HO - presumably tucked well away amid the Security.
At the Circle, welcomes back were for MASTABAIT & PAULINE.
                            (Give us an A ........... ).
PUSBUCKET interjected the formalities, saying that he's been 
known to frequent various hotels on various days (who knew?)
with the Hare. One of the barmaids asked "Where's Big Dog?"
& the rest is history.
Religious Adviser D&C had the Hare 'adopt the position', & 
then went thru' her chant (prompted by the screen on her 
phone), & gave an extra little tweak towards his nethers at the 
same time ................... arise BIG DOG. 
Straight away the Stand-in Choirmaster launched into "Shitty
Trail", to the combined uproar & BENTNOSE's insistence,
"You only had one job CHRIS CROS". 
BIG DOG & CHRIS CROS had a drink together.
Best Hash Screw MOUNTIE was next, & talked about the
"V8 Hero - not", & presented the Drive Mag. She said that we'd
gained another boring prick, as NUTCRACKER claimed that 
the run was "as boring as batshit". We passed Easy St, 
Slutty Rd (Slatey), Bogan Rd (Bogong), & now the Hash Girls
know where you live BIG DOG. She said that there weren't
enough arrows & they weren't even under the lights. "Owning
a GT you should be at the top of the leader board, but you're 
at the bottom with Fred Flintstone", & then the limerick,
"BIG DOG's in town & likes all his bitches to swallow".
                            (Shitty Trail ........... ).
PEBBLES called out NORMAL for his 1100'th run, saying that
he missed a welcome back, while he was on his phone.
                            (Hymn, hymn, fuck hymn).
Stand-in Sergeant ROWDY said that all the Big's should drink
together, so that's BIG DOG & Big Cunt NORMAL.
                            (You're ugly ..... ).
Sniffycunt runs were MOUNTIE 1177, NORMAL 1100, 
BHD 1010, REAR ENTRY 616, MRS DICKHEAD 555, 
& PAULINE 221 (1 short of the Bradman record).
MRS D was charged for sending out condolences for The Pies
loss, then PLUCKA for "destroying" BITCHFACES's house at
the Grand Final piss-up.
BITCHFACE called ROWDY out for being decked out in 
Blue & Gold after a year of the Black & White.
                              (You're stupid .......... ).
GLIDER paraded around the full page colour photo of a "much
younger SPARTACUS" & then SPARTACUS rolled up his right
sleeve to reveal a "real life pumped up Pop-Eye arm".
                        (This is your down down song ...... ).
Combined last charge was next for BIG DOG & his bikes, with
FASCINATOR's segue (segway - olo), BHD we couldn't hear 
the horn, MOUNTIE the short arse, & DUMBER's jacket with 
the FUCH's logo.
The Food Van ran hot, running out the 6" high burgers in 
small packs - SILIC's was a double pack for all of the chips.


Next week's run - 1900 - Hare ROWDY. 
The Daylight Savings Run from Nuggety Dam.
    

24 - 9 -'18     Run 1898    Library Carpark

GLIDER's "envelope clue" history run with the Hash 35+.
6 packs were being spread around to pay out the football bets
as QUICKDICK, then BENTNOSE & finally FASCINATOR got
some reverence. PLUCKA joined the 200 Club & was awarded
her little Pink Plucka Duck.
The 20 or so Super Athletes headed off into the arctic wind
looking for the first clue "A". DIMWIT peered at the first circle
of arrows (that wasn't a clue), & said, (not having a clue),
"that doesn't look like an A". Eventually we came across "A",
that told us "B" was the block of flats at 418 Drummond, on 
the site that was the home of EXIT's Great Grandfather 
'Charles Reeves Rick', who's buried at the old cemetry, where 
Check "C" was, at the gates. On down MacArthur & Doveton 
to the Drink-stop & Down Downs at DUMBER's "Car-over 
Sheltered Workshop". The Bar Flys were busy watching the
WAGs, & missed the down downs, with only 1 making the
On After.
Welcome to new runner Damian (PIMP's bro-in-law), who
answered the question "who made you cum?" - PIMP. 
SHAFFY worked out that "Damian roots the Sister of the
Sister who roots PIMP", then SPENCE thought that "if they
cut out the girls, they could root each other".
Welcomes back for EXIT, NUTCRACKER, BP, PAULINE, 
CHRIS CROS, PRECIOUS & SQUIZZY. 
                  (Put it in your hand Mrs Murphy ....... ).
GILF was out of sight, out of mind & had a welcome back
drink with FASCINATOR.
                   (Oh, the wiggle of her arse ................).
Best Hash Screw MOUNTIE was next, & said that GLIDER
had to answer the 'huge black mark' of no TV on Brownlow
Night, the A.B.C.'s weren't reliable, someone spat on one of 
the marks to stick down an envelope, one clue was read too 
early, & we didn't get to see where G. G. Pop is buried.
Of course 'A' for ancestor, 'B' - block of flats, 'C' - cemetry, 
& 'D' - DUMBER's drink-stop were all clues themselves.
GLIDER got his 2 Drive mags & then the limerick, "the long
distance lover, only comes once a week from Axedale".
SS, PIMP, DIMWIT & HER FANNY finally had their spots 
marked on the Leader Board (BITCHFACE only had 1 job !!!).
                                  (Shitty trail ......... ).
SHAFTED announced PLUCKA's 200 ( a 2 & a pair of titties).
When SHAFFY asked PEBBLES for ideas for PLUCKA's 200,
he answered "Ahhh", so she was presented with the 
silver R, that pulled apart to make 2 R's.
                                 (Get a life ...........).
GLIDER 737, PIMP 30 & QUICKDICK 64 - the Wedding 
Anniversary present .......... followed by a very tentative,
                     (Give us an A .....) from NUTCRACKER.
HEAD HUNTER's Birthday, GILF's last Tuesday, & EXIT's on 
the 29th.
                          (Hashy Birthday fuck you .......... ).
DONUTS had a drink as stand-in Grogmaster while
NUTCRACKER was away - he served warm beer & didn't
wear her 'classy' new glasses.
                                  (You'e stupid .......... ).
BENTNOSE gave GLIDER a drink for his "no sense of smell",
standing next to SQUIZZY's farts, then ROWDY & PEBBLES
drank up for their Collingwood gear.
                           (Fuck off ya cunts ............. ).
DIMWIT's '2' zingers - Blind circumciser got the sack, &  
Rich circumciser got all the tips - boom boom !!
DONUTS charged GLIDER for saying that he couldn't find
a Volvo (who said vulva??) in the Drive mag, & then came the
gag about "your hand down the black fellers shorts - you 
feel a bigger prick driving a Volvo". It took GLIDER half the
night to make it out the front, so Damian took his drink.
                       (A soldier, a cunt, a country .......... ).
A bit of argy-bargy from SQUIZZY to DIMWIT about DIMWIT
drinking out of SQUIZZY's new shoes, then PIMP for 
sending the Collingwood theme song to DUMBER.
                       (They're the meanest .................. ).
MOUNTIE charged MRS D for the Strawberry Cruise - hope
there's no needles, then DONUTS to DUMB & NUM for the
'Cavity Protect Frame' hanging on the workshop wall 
for NUM.
PIMP charged GLIDER (Damian drank again), for declining
a grog as we passed the Adult Shop, then MRS D to 
HEADHUNTER & QUICKDICK for the flat chested award.
                        (A soldier, a cunt, a country ............ ).
HER VAG gave MOUNTIE a drink, seeing as PUSBUCKET
had been sighted strolling along with the yoga mat tucked
under his arm - obviously to appease the Bride.
On After at Top Eureka, & SILIC (the only bar fly) missed the
long table & had to settle for cleaning up the scraps at the 
table for 6. 

Next week's run - 1899 - Hare Richie. On on Midlands Golf.

17 - 9 - '18      Run 1897      Smythesdale

HER VAG's Run from the Smythes Gardens. The Scribe's 
6:05pm pick-up eventuated by 6:30, & late enough at the 
Gardens to miss the Athletes. The 7 or so bar flys stoked the
nicely prepared fire, kicked a few stones by the fireplace, had 
a beer & generally 'solved' the AFL & Horse Racing stuff. The
stroll to the 'Furphy & mulled mixer' Drink-stop in the shelter
50M away didn't even raise a pant.
At the circle, PEBBLES welcomed back the "Best Screw"-
MOUNTIE, who reckoned BITCHFACE was no hard act to
follow - she hadn't even presented the leader board. The run
was beautifully set, & 'busy' amongst Smythesdale's heavy
traffic, the downside being MOUNTIE having to follow DIMWIT.
Then the limerick about "suck on his dick & only too happy to 
let her".
                         (Shitty Trail ............. ).
Welcomes back were for LOIS LANE, MOUNTIE, PUSBUCKET,
FOP, BENTNOSE, DR DEATH & FANG.
                         (You're ugly .............).
Sergeant SHAFTED was still wearing the 'teeth' from the lolly
jar, & charged SILIC for eating all the others, then DIMWIT 
came out for a drink 'because he could'.
                          (They're the meanest ...........).
Drinks for sniffycunt runs were - PLUCKA 199, HER VAG 108
(one, zero, & fat lady), REAR ENTRY 614 (really?), SILIC 900 
(SHAFFY says that Roman Numerals 'CM' for SILIC means 
'Cunt of a Man') & BHD 1008. SILIC stayed out for another 
drink, since "he'll be a sick boy if he keeps eating so much", 
& then the presentation of the Fat Yellow Squeaky Pig.
NUM NUM was in the SILIC Hash Shirt, & charged him for 
there being no small sizes, so there began the autographing
of said shirt on boobs & all.
                          (Get a life, life .............).
SHAFTED charged HEAD HUNTER & QUICKDICK for being 
in their matching red jackets, & said that HEAD HUNTER 
would look better out of hers.
                (There's a game called 20 toes ..........).
PUSBUCKET charged Pies' Supporters, BITCHFACE, ROWDY
& PEBBLES for the Collingwood dental DNA, no library &
that banned substance - 'toothpaste'.
                 ( A soldier, a cunt, a country .............).
NUMMY charged Hare HER VAG for wanting all the men to
bring wood - but didn't see any woodies, then PEBBLES to
HER VAG, that they're all going home without a woodie.
The Sergeant charged SS for dropping his Melbourne Ladies 
Card.
                             (You're stupid .......... ).
LOIS LANE charged SILIC for when NUMMY asked him at the 
start " would you like us to wait?", he said, "I'm not cumming
tonight".
DIMWIT's zinger - a question to ROWDY - "the difference 
between Swine Flu & Bird Flu?" - treatment or tweetment, so 
when 1 Dr drinks, you too QUICKDICK & DR DEATH.
PEBBLES had a drink from LOIS for the 'deaf gyno' having to
lip read, & a rebound to LOIS from SHAFTED - all blind people 
need to lip read, then MOUNTIE to SHAFTED asking if he'd
'shoe'd horses', but he hadn't, he'd only fucked a donkey.
                    (No no, bad bad ............... ).
LOIS charged MOUNTIE for the crutchless knickers, then
BENT was out for the cluster of acacia flowers.
                     (His one skin hangs ..........).
SHAFFY charged SS, FANG, GLIDER & DONUTS for the down
downs too long, then SS to DUMBER & DR DEATH for 'The
 Grand Old Flag'.
                      (What a wank ........... ).
Thanks to VAG for the 4 tasty curries & rice, enjoyed by all,
(& scraped out by SILIC), before the tray of sweets made it to 
the table - not forgetting the lovely fire!!

Next week's run - 1898 - Hare GLIDER from the Library 
Undercover Carpark, Armstrong St. On after Top Eureka. 

10 - 9 - '18      Run 1896      North Bowls

"Extra Virgin Hare" PIMP had the Hash 24 in attendance.
PEBBLES welcomed new runner Murray, & he was here
because "he knew Susie like he knew Susie ...", but "he 
didn't know BITCHFACE like we know BITCHFACE"... Oh ....
PIMP told us that setting the run, SILIC helped out, but 
drove round in the car (well, he can't run or walk, can he?),
& PIMP had No1 daughter on as apprentice.
13 Super Athletes headed out & around Soldiers Hill, & a 
fair part of Black Hill, looking at trail arrows that could be 
seen from Space!! We eventually came across the Carlton 
Dry Drink-stop (marked out after most had passed by) at the 
SILIC Killeen address. We all ooh-ahh'd at the progress of
the face-lift nearly completed, just as partner Louise 
entered via the adjoining gate, (with the 2 Four-leggeds,
Daisy & Rosie), just to borrow a cup of sugar. A bit of 
passive thought floated in after a while, "where's ROWDY 
& SOS?
Back at the Circle, PEBBLES welcomed Murray, a welcome
back to SOS & praised PIMP for a good 1st run, albeit with
SILIC's help.
                 (This is your down down song ...... ).
2nd best Screw BITCHFACE thought the run started well,
but felt like a pimp herself, sometimes standing at street
corners. She reckoned PIMP had overwritten part of last
week's run, & then marked the Drink-stop much too late.
The limerick from afar ..... "Out of Alison by SILIC, but alas,
he's a fuckin' pillick". 
                                (Shitty Trail .......... ).
Sergeant SHAFTED brought out the sniffycunt runs - 
SILIC 899, DONUTS 707 (SHAFFY thought LOL, but was 
reading the book upside down), SOS 311, HEAD HUNTER
(will you still need me when I'm) 64 & Murray 1.
                  (Put it in your hand Mrs Murphy ....... ).
DUMBER was charged for "why does everyone ring ME?"-
(MOUNTIE phoned him at 1:43am) ........ because you 
answer straight away!!
DIMWIT's zinger came with a charge for SPENCER 
HOCKING because he'd heard from a reliable source 
(not a reliable sauce), that SPENCE liked Chinese Food .... 
here it is ....... the "2 little popping eyes" gag ................ 
      Peking Duck!! (boom boom).
NUMMY had a charge for SPARTACUS, & brought out an 
original Ballarat H3 250 Run singlet. The Hare for run 250
was SS, & the run was from the Mineral Springs pub. She 
paraded with the singlet on (upside down), & the crutch
shots abounded!! TEFLON then charged ROWDY for the 
Magpies' win in the Rugby.
                    (There's a game called 20 toes .......... ).
FASCINATOR charged SPARTACUS for being the ultimate 
traveller - never been north of South Australia, MRS 
DICKHEAD to BITCHFACE for comments about the dirty 
singlet, & PEBBLES charged BITCHFACE, saying 
namesake (Toby) Green should've been rubbed out for
a week.
ROWDY had overheard PIMP & Leah at a romantic dinner,
when Leah said "am I the only 1?" to PIMP's reply, "Yes,
but I've had a couple of great 6's & an 8 !!"
                     (A soldier, a cunt, a country ........ ).
SPARTACUS was out there again, this time for the 
backwards spelling of his name ..... "sucatraps", & then
FASCINATOR for asking "where do we start?" - at the 
start you fuckin' idiot!!
PEBBLES charged PIMP for having the daughter set part
of the run in the 'dangerous' bushland, (well SILIC couldn't
get out of the car!!), & then MRS D to PLUCKA for saying 
that she only needs to run down hills.
SHAFTED charged PIMP for the amount of flour in the 
markers, almost sending him arse up.
                   (They're the meanest ................ ).
FASCINATOR had charges for PIMP (& SILIC) - why would 
he take instructions from an old man who hadn't had a run
in 800, hasn't been to the hamburger cart in 30 minutes, &
then set a run that looked like it was gonna' finish in Ballan,
not to mention marking the Drink-stop after most had 
passed it.
FASCINATOR was "Stand-in HALF A BAR" for the night,
saying the fuck word 27 times in one charge.
                              (You're stupid ......... ).
SHAFTED charged FASCINATOR for standing & stroking 
Murray - "we've got a cat called Murray" he said. Murray's
Birthday is on Christmas, so it's obviously 'Murray 
Christmas'.
                             (Give us an A .................).
PEBBLES had NUMMY out for calling her son Murray, just
because he was conceived by the river, then SILIC to 
THE BILL for not getting to the Killeen Drink-stop.
Last charges for PIMP & DUMBER for getting off on 
horse porn.
                        (Finnish drinking song ........ NO !!).
A great & very tasty roast was bill of fare, duly prepared by
the Extra Virgin Hare, Horse Flesh Trader & ex Chef PIMP.

Reminder from the GM about the Oct 22nd BlackTie & 
Jan 1st '19 bus to Burrumbeet Races.

Next week's run - 1897 - Hare HER VAG from 
                               Smythesdale Gardens.

3 - 9 - '18         Run 1895        East/Point

Could it be the "SS trot" remembering the CAPTAIN BRYCE 
Cantor of years ago? Whatever the name, the Hash 28 
assembled for SS's run from the East/Point Clubrooms.
We were advised to BYO Grog, but emergency barman
SPARTCUS stepped up, offering the beer sales.
SS told us about the run - about 5.5k, marked mainly  left,
some right, with the odd shicky, & don't short cut. Follow 
trail to the Drink-stop.
14 Super Athletes headed toward Peel St., only to find one
ROWDY still inside the grounds, devoid of a gate (not gait !!),
& his reply - "I'm defenceless." We continued into the 
fabulous East via some of the Black Hills, & up thru' Soldier's
Hill, then back to the welcome Crownie / Cruiser Drink-stop at 
the Bowling Club carpark.
At the Circle, the ultraviolet lights highlighted the usually
unseen bits - (photos F/Book H3 page).
GM PEBBLES called on the "2nd best screw in Hash",
BITCHFACE. She said "it's now officially Spring, so there 
should've been some change, but not so". Wayward 
athlete ROWDY was 1st mentioned, then PLUCKA, for nearly
getting kidnapped. BITCHFACE said that the markers were 
HH, HC, & C, but no F's. There was DFFSS tho' on the car's 
number plate - was that 'Frederick or Fucking' Faulkner?? 
The Drive Mag was presented, then the limerick about the 
"Geriatric Poof that keeps himself neat ........"
                            (Shitty Trail ............. ).
Sergeant SHAFTED mentioned SS's Dad having Dealerships
all over the place, including the one opposite Crawfords. 
Then the story about the pig being hit while crossing the 
road, eventually smashing a windscreen, so out you come 
THE BILL.
                   (Put it in your hand Mrs Murphy ....... ).
As it's the car theme, SS stayed out for being pulled up at
4am one morning, with A40 hearing all on the Cops Scanner.
Sniffycunt Runs were for NUTCRACKER (drinking for her 
age .... again), & SILIC 898, that drew the usual 'digital sum' 
comment from SPENCER HOCKING, but he failed to follow 
thru', & had to slink off toward the waiting pizzas, without 
further ado.
                  (There's a game called 20 toes ............ ).
ROWDY charged D&C for her recent run with Noosa Hash,
& SPARTACUS had a drink to celebrate the Daughter's win 
in her Grand Final.
FASCINATOR washed HER FANNY's car (not her fanny!!),
but left the dog shit inside the car.
                              (You're stupid ............. ).
FASCINATOR charged PLUCKA for tapping him on the arse
during the run - he'd complained that the 'Me Too' Brigade
were making him feel left out. 
SHAFFY gave PLUCKA a drink for her choice of pizza, then
MRS DICKHEAD to HEAD HUNTER with her crook back, & 
not being able to bend forward. 
                               (Give us an A ............. ).
DUMBER & BHD had a drink for the ultraviolets showing up
the neon socks thru' the holes in the shoes.
John Cotter had a drink for scoffing his dinner in 5 minutes 
at the Robin Hood, just to get back to the Hash Night.
DIMWIT had duo-zingers - 'Name of the lady who burnt the 
invoice?' - Burn a Debt, & 'Name of the lady in the middle of
the Tennis Court?' - An-net.
HALF A fuckin' BAR had a fuckin' charge for fuckin' DIMWIT
for something about "reading a fuckin' joke in the Sun", then
DUMBER gave SPENCE "the maths equations on Essendon's
performance" charge.
                     (Hymn ......... fuck hymn ........... ).
DUMBER charged ROWDY for wearing the footy jumper - he
said "you normally give away wearing it when you grow up".
SHAFTED & REAR ENTRY had a drink together for being
prospective virgin Grandparents, & then SHAFTED to
BAR LICKER for her great welcome on Sunday, for the young
French Maid.
                     (Oh, the wiggle of her arse .............. ).
SHAFFY then charged TEFLON for the lack of horn blowing,
& BAD HEAD JOB for giving no lessons on same - (of course,
you only have to 'fart with your mouth').
PEBBLES & BHD where there for the ultraviolets shining a 
treat on the domes, then SHAFFY's hat was removed to
increase the glare.
Pizzas arrived during the down downs, & while most were the
same type, a couple were 'over jalapenoed' (at least for the 
scribe - 2am pain!!). SILIC made sure that there were bugger 
all left-overs.

Next week's run - 1896 - Virgin Hare PIMP 
                                          from North Bowling Club.