Jason Kelly

Sovereign H3 - Members Only

50 m  · 

BH3 Run 2022 – 22.02.2021 – Pus Bucket’s cricket run – City Oval

22 cricketers and 9 barflies set off on a brief 30 minute run/walk around the lake/City Oval precinct before coming together for a drinks stop and much anticipated cricket game. As always, Pus Bucket was busily arranging teams whilst the participants were complaining about who they were partnered up with. I distinctly recall being promised Ellyse Perry as my cricket partner, though I wasn’t disappointed as I was partnered up with a Ballarat’s own version of Ellyse Perry… MOUNTIE!!

The cricket match began in spectacular style with Mountie taking a classic “Ponting-esque” catch first ball of to dismiss Normal (panther-like reflexes with a full-length dive to her right, one-handed catch only inches from the ground). The high level of skills was maintained throughout the evening with Paul Bearer displaying Maradona-like footwork in the field to save multiple boundaries, Fascinator using his shins goal-keeper style to affect a runout, and Spencer taking a hattrick of catches at short midwicket. There were some big sixes hit, (Rowdy) and some entertaining cricket shots, including Dr Death smashing his balls into his poor dog’s arse. With each boundary came a Trump Supporter cry of “It’s rigged” from SOS, who was anxiously protecting the competitive score that he’d posted with Little Evil.

Obviously it was rigged, as Pus Bucket announced that for the 4th time SOS was the winner. SOS suggested that it was about time he “hung up the pads,” Mountie then said that she’d hung up her pads years ago.

The formalities of the evening saw Mrs D as stand-in Screw; "The run was as expected, short and sharp, just how Mountie likes it. But is she aware that you went all over Nummy’s trail?” Score = 1/78m (the distance between the trail markings)  Shitty Trail 

SniffyCunt runs: PIMP, Dumb n Dumber and Pus Bucket (all digit sum equal to the square root of 169). Donuts 787 and Shafted 666.  A Soldier I will be 

Pus Bucket then proffered a new song “ Fuck off Spencer, we’d rather see you later, if we wanted all your numbers we’d use a calculator 

The most notable charge from the run was by Shafted who critiqued the route of the run… “Past the Urologist, the Endocrinologist, the Physio and the dentist. Too many visits and painful memories”. DnC rebounded that he also ran past a Beauty Salon, obviously hasn’t spent enough time there.

There were also multiple charges from the weekend festivities, too many to mention.

Pus Bucket then gave a full rundown of the cricket results and announced awards for the evening:

9th Dumb & Num on -28

8th Teflon & Nutsy on -17

7th Paul Bearer & Normal on -12

Eq 6th DnC & Spencer + Dr Death & Donuts on -2

5th Precious & Campaspee on +1

4th Fascinator & Shafted on +4

3rd Mountie & Fop on +7

Eq 2nd Rowena & Rowdy + Pimp & Pebbles on +11

1st Little Evil & SOS on +16

Pus Bucket then presented cricket awards, proudly sponsored by Buxton Ballarat (Connecting people and property since 1861)

Best Catch – Mountie

Best wicket – Paul Bearer

Best Fielder – Spencer Hocking

Female MVP – Campaspee

Male MVP – Dr Death

Best Umpire – Spartacus

Media award – Mrs D

Norm Smith medal – Little Evil

The evening then got too loud to hear what was going on, though we were treated to a lovely BBQ dinner.

Next week’s run: Big Dog – Codes Forest Road, Invermay