18 - 2 - '19        Run 1919        Glen Park

TEFLON's run at Wolfe Rd that saw NORMAL bring his car 
for once, & on the gravel - & what about THE BILL - obviously 
too far in on the gravel to pad the hoof !! He did give it a fair
sort of a rev in the bulldust to get over the deep gutter on the 
exit tho'.
QUICKDICK called the reverence, & PEBBLES welcomed 
visitor Nancy (GILF's Sister from Cali for ni a).
TEFLON said the run was about 5k, pretty flat & marked in 
flour - the walkers about 1.6k. "If you lose trail, go back to 
where you saw it last".
11 Walkers took off (ROWDY said 14 Runners), leaving a 
couple of Bar Flys at the camp - 1 'crook hip' SILIC couldn't 
even stagger to the Drink-stop.
NUTCRACKER was on her phone for the whole walk, & still 
on it as they went on the 'walk extension'. The Furphy
Drink-stop was 100m short of home & came with the chips
& sweets, to which STUBBY commented, " Chips at the 
Drink-stop? - back in MY day, blah blah ....... ".
Charges "may include, but not limited to ....... "
At the Circle, 1st charges were for PLUCKA & THE BILL for 
sitting down, & then SHAFTED's rock turned out to be a 
brick.
Welcome to Nancy for her 'virgin' run (but the night's not 
over yet).
                (There's a game called 20 toes ........... ).
There was a 'why are we waiting', so Nancy stayed out for 
2nd for being a bit slow, but sped up this time.
                          (No no, bad bad ........... ).
Best Screw in the Bush MOUNTIE presented the Drive mags,
then talked about all the junk left lying around in the bush,
including a plain flour bag, presumably left by the Hare !!
She said how the girls had 'creamed their jeans' at the sight
of the unknown runner going past, & D&C was on a diet that 
said she was to have sex every night for a month.
The limerick ...... "GILF said let's make love, so he gave a
man meat injection". Position on the Leader Board - 3rd
from the top.
SHAFTED charged THE BILL for taking his car so far into
the gravel, MRS D to TEFLON for having no fuckin' sense of
a map, & PEBBLES to D&C for saying "it's on a corner of 
some road they ride around". That's when SHAFTED landed
the empty CO2 container into BENTNOSE's beer, proving
that it could produce a head.
                               (You're stupid ............ ).
ROWDY had the sitters out again - PLUCKA, GLIDER & 
SILIC, then DIMWIT produced his zinger, man with potato on
dick - 'Dick-tator'.
FANG had a drink for his Disneyland Viagra - '45 minutes for 
a 5 minute ride', then SHAFFY charged DIMWIT for his 
catastrophic fall after the cricket catch - couldn't catch
a stubby.
                          (Give us an A ............... ).
LOIS LANE charged BP - 'you can't change', & as all cunts
drink together, out you come ROWDY, NORMAL & SILIC.
                          (U.g.l.y........... ).
Sniffycunt runs were SILIC 911 (what a disaster) & 
DIMWIT 66. 
                           (Get a life ............. ).
BENTNOSE charged BHD for 'scribing' on the car bonnet,
(new scribe due in April !!), & SILIC had a drink for the 
'cleverly disguised' on his T shirt.
The Monteray charge had TEFLON, SS, FANG & Nancy out
for a drink.
                         (Hymn, hymn ................ ).
Bill of fare was large chicken pieces, potato & green salads.

Next week's run - 1920 - Hare ROWDY.
On on - 5 Ways, On after - Top Eureka.

11 - 2 - '19           Run 1918         City Oval

Did anyone count? Gotta be 30+ in for the PUSBUCKET 
Cricket Annual, aka 'Ashes for Hashers'. They asked 
MOUNTIE where the Hash Flash was, as she dragged up the
T shirt. PUSBUCKET told us about the 'short' run, & we'd be 
at the Drink-stop before we knew it. A couple of checks 
around the long block & the Draught Drink-stop was back
at the On On - indeed on the boundary.
Teams were drawn up & it was game on, under the batons
of PUSBUCKET & SPARTACUS. Touches of brilliance & 
non brilliance followed. There was DIMWIT's 'catch of the 
century', taking it a metre above the ground while horizontal,
& then CHRIS CROS' excellent catch to follow. SHAFFY spent
more time rolling round on the turf than fielding. ROWDY, 
while not keen on displaying the 'pyjama python' this year,
did smash a healthy 6, almost smashing the floor to ceiling
window of the clubhouse. HEAD HUNTER followed her turn
with the bat, doing a couple of hand stands in the field. The
Footy Coach had a job trying to keep his charges interested,
after they got a glimpse of the Hash Tarts in hot pants - I saw
it too !! Willy was a star bowler - had he had a touch-up from
a Weiry jigger? There followed a 'Caught QUICKDICK bowled
Willy'. Was HALF A BAR on jiggers as well - 1st ball taking a
wicket. Scorer PUSBUCKET was calling out many -10's & 
-15's. The game closed & back for the Circle.
PEBBLES had welcomes for WAIT A WHILE from Cairns 
Hash, (in his not often worn 'jacket of many badges'), &
Football Coach 'Poiter'.
                (This is your down down song .......... ).
STUBBY was 1st charge, with PEBBLES saying, "look at the 
length of this", but STUBBY had his torch in his pocket.
                 (Put it in your hand Mrs Murphy ....... ).
Best Hash Screw MOUNTIE was out for a screw with her 
favorite man. She called it the shortest run ever, as 
PUSBUCKET replied, "just like my dick, not very long
but beautifully marked". The limerick was non existent - 
left sitting on the kitchen bench, but ROWDY came to the 
rescue reciting The man from Nantucket ..... "dick was so 
long .... if my ear was a cunt I could fuck it".
                           (Shitty trail .......... ).
The 'were injured & now injured' charge had HALF A BAR,
ratemyagent FASCINATOR, BENTNOSE & DUMB(er) &
DUMBER out for a drink.
                (....... drink your beer & get out of here .......).
Sergeant SHAFTED had PEBBLES out to drink with the
sniffycunt runners - he forgot MASTABAIT's 1400 & he'd been
using the big words he couldn't spell - 'commonality'.
CHRIS CROS 949, ROWDY 1188, HEAD HUNTER 80 & 
FASCINATOR (?). They said that Real (Estate) Men are not
on social media. 
                  (There's a game called 20 toes ............ ).
PRECIOUS charged DUMBER & CHRIS CROS for the 'old farts
& technology' award - not knowing which button to press,
when there was only one to press.
LOIS LANE had the 'Hashy Birthday fuck you', & sisters drink
together, so you too BP. You're sheep fuckers, so out you 
come HALF A BAR, then HEAD HUNTER & Willy joined in as 
immigrants.
MRS D charged PEBBLES for not making enough of a fuss
over the visitors.
             (Finnish drinking song ..... nnnnooooooo!!).
NUMMY gave DIMWIT a drink for his great catch, & 
BENTNOSE joined in - 'caught & bowled'.
MRS D congratulated SHAFFY for becoming a Grandpa, but
of course, now he gets to shag a Grandma.
              (A soldier ...... to piss ...... for cunt'ry ...... ).
PRECIOUS charged MOUNTIE for her tits looking like trail
marks - circle with a centre dot, & then STUBBY to 
BENTNOSE for being beaten into the velodrome.
PUSBUCKET brought out the award bat with the names of
previous winners. Tonight's wooden spooners were 
ROAD RUNNER & BOOTROOTA with the -18 score, & 
winners, ROWDY & STUBBY on 16 runs.
                           (What a wank ........... ).
FASCINATOR had PUSBUCKET & SPARTACUS out for a 
drink, for their organizing of the night, and ROAD RUNNER
& BOOTROOTA - the wooden spooners.
                 (This is your down down song ............ ).
DIMWIT's zinger (only to our table of 6), the sick horse goes
to the 'horspital' - boom boom!!
Bill of Fare - the tasty chilli con carne, rolls & slaw, followed
up by the obligatory MOUNTIE carrot cake.

Next week's run - 1919 - Hare TEFLON,
from Cnr Wolfe Rd & Drake Rd, Glen Park.

4 -  2 - '19        Run 1917       Bungal Dam

The Sheltered Workshop 'coaches' were employed to 
transport the 20 to Bungal for the MASTABAIT & NORMAL
Run. DUMB(er) & DUMBER headed up the drive, with 
GM PEBBLES in No 2 - although the GM would've scratched
his head for a couple of the turn-offs, & then we came across
the rest of the team to make up the 30+.
After the GM's welcome, NORMAL told us about the 4k run 
taking 2 days to set, it's marked left & right, up hill & down, 
& don't go thru' any on-backs - you mightn't be back for a 
week. MOUNTIE hold on to some-one's hand - the scrub's 
taller than you !!
16 Super Athletes headed off, leaving half a doz. Bar Flys &
the rest, Walkers in MASTABAIT's care. The Walkers beat 
the Runners to the 1st 2 stops - the goat tracks over the 
steep hills taking a toll. EXIT & BEERFUCK were soon to go
arse-up going downwards.
The well stocked Crowny Drink-stop was a welcome sight,
& SHAFTED was clubhouse leader, 1st across the line, 
carrying his help stick, with it's paint roller condom attached. 
Ratemyagent FASCINATOR copped everyone's mirth at said 
Drink-stop, turning up in his car after getting lost, as you do
at Bungal.
At the Circle, PEBBLES had welcomes' back for HEAD
HUNTER, QUICK DICK, NUTCRACKER, REAR ENTRY,
STUBBY, BEERFUCK & DIMWIT.
PEBBLES recognised the Year of the Pig, but SILIC wasn't
there, so you have his drink STUBBY.
           (A soldier ....... to piss ........ for cunt ry ........ ).  
The 'lost ones' (or was that losers?) FASCINATOR & FANG
were out for the 'OZZIE's lost' drink.
          (You're stupid, you're so fucking dumb ....... ).
MOUNTIE was up for a co-screw with the Hares front &
centre, NORMAL being forcibly removed from BBQ 
cheffing. She said how MASTABAIT had got lost setting
the run thru' the bush, that saw the walkers 1st to stops
most times. The Drive mags were presented & then the 
limerick ..... NORMAL said, "Our bum sex is great, when
we're out on a date, he's the best root this side of Nepal".
Somewhere in there, SHAFFY wanted to get 'elder' NUMMY
taught how to play the didge. PEBBLES also charged
MASTABAIT for saying that he'd never set a run out here
again.
                                (Shitty trail .......... ).
Sniffycunt runs were MASTABAIT 1400, DUMB & DUMBER
1144, HEAD HUNTER 79 & QUICKDICK 77 (& those 2 had
been writing each others names in the book!).
NUT CRACKER drank up as well, forgetting their names,
& buggering up the chant.
                         (They're the meanest ......... ).
ROWDY charged DIMWIT for trying to change his new shoes
after the run, but was locked out of the bus, so drank out of
the others instead.
EXIT had a drink for what looked like a leak in GLIDER's
colostomy bag, as SS pointed out GLIDER's 76th
Birthday today, & the Elder Statesman drank together.
                      (Hashy Birthday fuck you .......... ). 
MRS DICKHEAD called out the Kathmandu Crew, D&C,
NUMMY, & NUTCRACKER for wearing gear that cost more 
than the cost of the average shit home.
                            (She's a harriette ........... ).
SHAFFY charged HALF A BAR for not identifying which
sheep shit was on the car, then PUSBUCKET had NORMAL
& MASTABAIT out for a drink for the Nepal Tea House 
'Hind Lick Maneuver' gag. 
                           (No no, bad bad ........... ).
NORMAL charged Grogmaster NUTCRACKER for only
half filling the charge glasses, & then NUTCRACKER to
D&C & NORMAL for being late for the morning run - still
in bed.
            (There's a game called 20 toes .............. ).
SHAFTED gave colleague geologist BEERFUCK a drink
for getting 3 correct answers in the 'rock of the week' quiz.
The DIMWIT zinger made it's return after a couple of weeks
lay-off ..... "Squirrels swimming on there back to keep their
nuts dry", & then NUMMY gave DUMB a drink for having 
the best arse.          
       (DIMWIT's chance for the chant ..... 'Swing Low' ...).
DUMB(er) & DUMBER charged LOIS LANE for Helen Clarke
raising the IQ of both countries.
                  (There's a game called 20 toes ........ ).
Last charge for the Statesman to drink together - SS,
GLIDER, MASTABAIT, THE BILL & HALF A BAR.
Tasty Bill of Fare from BBQ Chef NORMAL - spicy snags,
hamburgers, onions, bread & rolls, & build your own salad.

Next week's run - 1918 - Pusbucket's Cricket Run, City Oval.
On After - same, Lion's Den.

28 - 1 - '19     Run 1916    North Gardens

Hash 30 for the Straya Day hol. - 10 Walkers, couple of 
Bar Flys & the rest - Super Athletes. Some resplendent in
Straya Gear, the GM complete with the green/yellow lei. He
assisted with the run set - said that it was about 5k & mostly 
in the shade.
The Drink-stop was parked a bit further north than the  
No Alcohol signs, & that's where we met 'Poiter', dropping
in for some refreshment. 
Back at the Circle, PEBBLES had welcomes back for Tiarni,
LOIS LANE, ROWDY, SILIC & SQUIZZY.
                      (There's a game called 20 toes ....... ),
             ably led by TEFLON reading from the songbook.
MOUNTIE was up for a  PEBBLES screw, saying that the trail
was lack lustre, RANDOLPH was in everyone's way, & the 
water fountains along the way were the same height as
SHAFTED's dick. The run board didn't surface, but the
limerick ..... "PEBBLES oversaw this north gardens disaster,
no Committee has fucked the Hash faster".
                                (Shitty Trail ......... ).
The new "hot guy" (Poiter) had fucked off, so Tiarni had
his drink.
               (A soldier ........ to piss ........ for cunt-ry ..... ).
Sergeant SHAFTED asked MOUNTIE about the sniffycunts
of 1916 - of course, his reason - the Daintree river is the
highest it's been since 1916.
More sniffycunts - the runs. Tiarni 5, IMMACULATE 
CONCEPTION 33, PLUCKA 212 & SPENCER HOCKING 1161.
....... PLUCKA's middle name - A-nnette, so she could go
fishing !!
LOIS LANE had a drink to celebrate New Zulland's 'Why
tongue a fanny' day, & then CHRIS CROS had a charge for
newly diagnosed celiac, FOP, & as all ce-lics drink, you
too SILIC.
                          (You're stupid ......... ).
BITCHFACE charged MOUNTIE for being 'rejected' by 
BIG DOG, but a rebound, as the BITCH... didn't get
a 'lick' in.
FOP charged HER VAG for taking him to a beer fest, since
now he can't drink beer, & DUMB(ER) & DUMBER charged
PEBBLES for being late to set the run.
                         (What a wank ............. ).
SPENCE charged SILIC for only barely managing a walk to
the Drink-stop, & NUMMY charged PEBBLES for the people
on the 'fun' run.
                (Put it in your hand Mrs Murphy .......... ).
MOUNTIE charged NUM & DUMB for the 'hat over the penis'
gag. "You should raise your hat for a lady" - "if you weren't 
so ugly it would raise itself!!"
SHAFFY had Peggy & THE BILL drink together for the 
swapped shirts.
                           (She's the meanest .............. ).
NORMAL charged Peggy for getting PRECIOUS to drink
out of her new shoes, & then IMMACULATE was out for new
shoes as well.
SPARTACUS had a drink for his question about the pile of 
vomit - 'was it viral or alcoholic?'
                            (Hymn, fuck hymn ........... ).
ROWDY charged SILIC for peeing in public, & then NUMMY
had a drink for 'invasion day'.
                    (His one skin hangs down ........... ).
Religious Adviser D&C had Tiarni out to adopt the position,
...... enjoy the sex & running .......... arise BATWOMAN.

Next week's run - 1917,  Co-Hares MASTABAITING NORMAL.

The pasta & pizzas were up to standard at the On After, & all
leftovers were passed along to table's end, for total 
consumption by resident gastronamis, SILIC.

21 - 1 - '19        Run 1915         Morrisons

The Hash 25 gathered at Dolly's Creek Road for the 3rd day 
of Celebrating the HALF A BAR 70th., (amid the brand new 
power towers, just waiting around to make a squillion for 
the Hare !!).
Stand-in GM 'ratemyagent' FASCINATOR called the reverence,
& banged on about the Centenary of Anzac, & Australia to 
coming of age etc., then gave a "Hashy Birthday fuck you" to 
NORMAL's 65 & HALF A BAR's 70. HALF A BAR paraded in 
the Birthday Jox 'n Sox, & his best pressy - the Turban.
The Hare intro'd the Run, saying it's short, mostly flat with a
down & uphill - the On On is out the front. Take your car to
the usual Drink-stop if you like.
The walkers were waiting at the Cemetery Drink-stop, when
BAR LICKER fronted in the twin-cab, loaded with a heap of 
runners who had lost their way. The Stellas, vodka & chips
were enjoyed, & then a toast to HALF A BRA.
At the Circle, FASCINATOR began with a welcome's back (?).
                         (You're stupid ....... ).
Best Hash Screw MOUNTIE was next, presenting the Drive 
Mags & promptly put the sticker on the bottom space of the 
Run Board. Said that the only excitement on the run was
QUICKDICK trying to 'stamp' a snake away, with NUMMY
helping out, doing her version of the Haka. (HALF A BAR
thought "a fuckin' snake - no-one fuckin' appreciates me
gettin' a fuckin' snake to appear). The trail was marked in
the same coloured dirt as on the road. The Limerick .....
"BAR LICKER could prance around all day, in extreme 
lingerie, but HE likes his sex wild & woolly".
                           (Shitty Trail ........... ). 
Sergeant SHAFTED rolled up in a singlet (as they said), that
HALF A BAR would wear to meet the Governor. He charged
MASTABAIT for giving him the wrong directions to start the
run. 
                            (Hymn ...... fuck hymn ....).
Sniffycunt runs (as per the book), were PUSBUCKET 17,  
STUBBY 3 & MASTABAIT 1399.
                            (Get a life .............. ).
BIG DOG had a drink for his ride with SPARTACUS (?),
after SPARTACUS had txt'd all & sundry. MOUNTIE charged
SPENCE for his looking for a ride. & then D&C for saying,
"Get fucked, I'm bringing DONUTS".
                      (This is your down down song ....... ).
PUSBUCKET chimed in saying, "The wonderful world of 
the bar fly is always good".
NUMMY charged HALF A BAR for laying on BAR LICKER
at 3:30 am Sunday, 'asking for a root', then promptly started
snoring his head off.
D&C charged DONUTS for not washing the glasses when he
was Stand-in Grogmaster.
             (A soldier ...... to piss ...... for cunt'ry ...... ).
MRS D charged BIG DOG for getting his monogrammed hat
from SPARTACUS, after being in Hash only '5 minutes'.
               (There's a game called 20 toes ........... ).
PRECIOUS shot his mouth off a little too soon, saying that
"you wouldn't find a virgin at Hash", just as Peggy stood by
his side.
NORMAL stepped up to the BBQ, first cleaning the fur from 
the plate, then loading up the leftover 'smoked sausages' 
for their warm up. SHAFFY wrestled with a broken knife & 
lumpy sharpening steel, but in the end, the steak was cut 
& cooked, & turned out like fairy floss.
The cheese platter, salads & pav were well appreciated - 
a good finale to the HALF A BAR '70' weekend.

Next week's run - 1916 - TBA. 
The notice a little earlier this week please DUMB.

  

23 - 12 - '18         Run 1911        Lakeview

So the 13 "Get a life" crew assembled with all the Alfresco 
Set on the banks, for a pre-run refreshment, to be joined 
impromptu by HAEMORROIDS, happening past in the cab.
MOUNTIE was the hare (in Santa sparkles) saying, there's the 
On On & there's a Drink-stop. Off went the 6 Super Athletes,
leaving the bar flys (FOP drinking his craft beer... life's too
short !!) to wander on to Devon St. At the Drink-stop, were the
waiting SPARTACUS & Tracey, already imbibing the 'real' beer
& tasty nibbles.
PEBBLES said his welcome to the run, saying that MOUNTIE 
had set it very well, & thanks for everything at the Drink-stop, 
then a welcome to Tracey.
They called on MOUNTIE to screw herself. She moaned on 
about her 'bad week', but agreed it was a good run & sharply 
marked, but did have the odd 'Left turn to the Right'.
PUSBUCKET was Stand-in Sergeant, & had memorised the
limerick " ....... was it class or just arse, the Hash Screw is 
saying the latter".
                        (Shitty trail ........ ).
He continued with his 'salutory tale' about Inflatable Boy 
taking out everything inflatable (including himself) - the 
school Principal saying "you've let yourself down". All 
teachers were then out for a drink together - SPARTACUS,
PUSBUCKET, CHRIS CROS, BITCHFACE, DIMWIT & 
BAD HEAD JOB.
The Sergeant kept BITCHFACE out, calling her an arsehole,
& saying "the best part of Susie ran down her Mother's leg".
NUMMY charged THE BILL for "looking hot", but translated
that to "sweaty". DIMWIT had to run along behind MOUNTIE
exposing her knickers all the way, & CHRIS CROS for 
exposing his "plums".
                     (Put it in your hand Mrs Murphy ......... ).
MOUNTIE charged BIG DOG for walking all the way from 
home just so as he didn't have to go on the walk. BIG DOG
had a 2nd, because PUSBUCKET had seen him "marking his
territory".
                      (U.G.L.Y. ...... you're ugly).
Tracey was called on to "adopt the position" to enjoy the 
sex & running ............ arise JUST CUM.
                      (Give us an A ........ ).
The Dirty Grandpa's were next to drink together - PEBBLES,
CHRIS CROS, DUMB(er) & DUMBER & BHD, joined by
MOUNTIE who fucked up the chant ....... tell us how it goes
NUMMY ........ (There's a game called 20 toes ..... ).
The Dad Jokes were there ...... Rudolph the Red Knows Rain
Dear, trumped by DIMWIT,  The Sheep's .... Merry Christmas 
to Ewe, & then his zinger ...... Torrential rain in Japan,
raining Datsun Cogs.        Boom boom.
FOP charged PUSBUCKET for the rolls of copper wire he 
had stacked up, then MOUNTIE included THE BILL as the 
ex copper.
SPARTACUS charged HER VAG for the Sharon Stone 'flash
your gash' award, & BITCHFACE had a drink 'cos she didn't
get any of it.
FOP had the last say ... "Christmas is like anal sex ... better
giving than receiving".

Next week's run - 1912 - At Cuthbert's, 103 'Their' Road.
Run & party (reprieve !! no dress ups required).

More scribing due Jan 21st.       Happy Nooo Yearrrrr !!

17 - 12 - '18    Run 1910    Miner's Tavern

The Santas & Elves gathered for the Christmas Run, bought 
grog & ordered Dinner. PEBBLES said his welcomes, 
reminding us of the songsheet "Hash Year of the CAR-ols"
He bought PUSBUCKET a drink for his sniffycunt birthday
ending in '0', & the 1st CAR-ol 'Silent Night' "SNAG has come 
& MOUNTIE might".
(Hashy Birthday fuck you .... ) & BITCHFACE was there too.
Down along Lydiard we went, thru' the Lane Cafe' & round to 
the 1st stop - Santa & the Reindeers opposite Top Eureka.
FANG had left the price tag on his Santa gear, hoping to 
return it next day - so too TRENCH, I think.
BHD was rudely shagged behind a bush by Santa, aka
'ratemyagent' FASCINATOR.
Page 2, No 2 Shafted the Hashman ...... sing it ..... da da da,
dut dut, da da da da daaah.
On Down to Skin Ski for some BOOTLACE cheer. MOUNTIE
& PLUCKA were 1st to drink, & then the 'Good King' CAR-ol,
"HALF A BAR was cruel, rammed it with his tool". PAULINE
followed with a solo version of his 'Wanna be a Ranger".
Next the 'Hark the Herald' CAR-ol for HALF A BAR, "Fark,
the herald angels sing ..... Christ that little prick's a pain".
HALF A BAR's 3rd,  'Deck the Halls', "Fuck the sheep, it
makes me jolly, all my girlfriends get called Dolly".
PRECIOUS had Girlfriend Peggy there, with a hole in her
stocking - of course, that's a stairway to heaven.
(Give us an A) to ROWDY, PRECIOUS & Peggy.
ROWDY (the randy Doctor) stayed out there - for Cathy it's
a little finger, for SILIC it's a clenched fist !! Of course, 
SILIC's 'only' exercise is 'didly squat', & with such a 
veranda on the toolshed, how did the deck below get wet?
If you crossed Santa (FASCINATOR) with PLUCKA, you'd 
have a Cwistmas Quacker. Out for a drink all of 'youse', 
to the CAR-ol "We 3 Kings of big bellies are, SILIC, PIMP &
MR FOSTER".
(Give us an A) for BOOTLACES' continued generosity on
the Christmas Run.
On on up the hill to Irish Murphy's - enter Leo, the Santa 
lookalike, minus the red suit & a Give us an A, then the 
'Joy to the World' CAR-ol for D&C, "let every single prick at 
Hash, know that our Max has pruned her patch".
NUTCRACKER's 'White Christmas' CAR-ol was up next,
"with every touch she will ignite, & may all her 
NUTCRACKing excite", followed by the girls in duo with
the 'God Rest Ye' CAR-ol "Maxi beds with NUTCRACKER,
& they have no need for lubricant - Oh slidings of comfort
& joy". 
PEBBLES had a welcome for Peggy, & welcome back for 
TRENCH. PLUCKA was there, just out of her sick bed,
suffering 'shagger's back', & BIG DOG was a late arrival.
The 'Rudolph' CAR-ol, "BIG DOG with your nose so bright,
I'll sit on your nose tonight".        (Give us an A).
SHAFTED reeled off the runs of sniffycunts - MRS D 565,
NUMMY 545, DONUTS 717, SILIC 909, BITCHFACE 40, 
MOUNTIE 1188, PRECIOUS 131, Peggy 1, & BHD 1020.
STUBBY said 'no way' & charged SHAFFY for the words 
in his 'Frosty the Snowman' CAR-ol, "he'd like to get his 
hands, then his lips on a Stubby".
FANG had NUTCRACKER, MOUNTIE & TRENCH out the 
front, saying that he could have 1 / 6 foot woman, or 2 / 3
foot women & screw them together.
PEBBLES had BIG DOG out, & as all 'bigs' drink together,
you too SILIC.
The SS 'Silver Bells' CAR-ol was next, "As Mothers rush 
home with wet knickers, Silver Balls, it's great when they 
bang on your clitty", but DUMBER had SILIC out, because
his one & only ball just clangs !!
Then, SILIC's 'Rudolph' CAR-ol "SILIC the (one time) rotund 
runner, had a very shiny head", & you too PIMP - all 
Dalziels drink together.
New shoes, or in LOIS LANE's case, drink out of the new 
hat, to the 'Away in a Manger' CAR-ol, "Her little tongue 
teases, then slurps up the spray".
On on to the Regent, & a 'Jingle Bell Rock' CAR-ol for 
PEBBLES, "It's a swell time, to go sliding on his one horse
sleigh", & then the 'Holly & the Ivy', "AMP billed dead men,
& PEBBLES took his commission, as he billed 'em by the
hour".
PEBBLES then charged SHAFFY for the toothbrush he'd
picked up on the road.
The DONUTS 'Oh Come all Ye' CAR-ol,  "Oh, come on me 
DONUTS, oh, come ye on my face again".
PEBBLES gave NUTCRACKER a drink for enjoying the 
CAR-ols so much, & ROWDY to BEERFUCK for his gold 
lame' suit - & gold everywhere.
THE BILL was up next, (seeing as they had to keep him 
away from Peggy), with the 'Oh Christmas Tree' CAR-ol,
"Oh BILLY GOAT, how shapely is your baton?", then Peggy
& EXIT (Sue) out together - 'Oh, Peggy Sue".
Last CAR-ol at the Regent, for Karol, the 'Oh Holy Night',
"Oh PLUCKA Duck, the sweet spot found, a new & glorious
dawn".
On on to the Miner's, & a 'Little Dumber Boy' CAR-ol, "I have
a small soft tool, I'm DUMB(er) & DUMB", followed by the 
'12 Days' CAR-ol, 5 floppy FOPs, 4 fine FANGs, 
3 PLUCK(A)ed ducks, 2 BIG DOGs, & a BITCHFACE to drink
with MOUNTIE.
The 'War is Over' CAR-ol for CHRIS CROS, "He once was the 
GM, that year's gladly gone".
Next, the HEAVY Hymn 'Swing Low', & PIMP had a drink, as
he had no idea of the movements.
TEFLON, the 'Oh Christmas Tree' CAR-ol - "Oh, Granny that
I'd like to fuck, that perfect shape of arse sublime ...", & out
you come, all you Granny Fuckers.

That's it - can't decipher the hand writing anymore!!

Next week's run - 1911 - Christmas Eve Committee Run
from Lakeview Pub.