Run #2205 (10 Jun 2024)

 Welcome to Run #2205, Committee Run from Robin Hood Hotel

We made this circle quick as dinner was on its way! 

Num Num came to screw the GM for his Committee Run, 

Nummy asked Carpet Burns to hold the score card as we all know Carpet Burns had very little FRICTION! (Unless its a shag) 

Carpet Burns is also NON STICK and ABSORBS very little water. 

Nummy claims that there was a CHEMICAL ATTACK, as Vanessa was taken down by a blackberry bush mid run and bleed out the whole way home. 

No one fell over, but that was only because Mountie wasn’t here. 

The run was HEAT RESISTANT if you dressed correctly. 

No rain! 

GM guessed 5/6, and was right! 

The committee were charged first, and we drank all the beer. Just kidding! Sort of… 

We welcomed people back (after the screw, who knows why) 

Deep Heat, Carpet Burns, D&C, Doddle Nuts and Big Dog. 

The Sargent came forwards (with 11 minutes to spare) and said some things.

Squizzy was charged for looking like a 1970’s porn star, then we noticed that Deep Heat was matching! I think I’ve seen that video… Yuck! 

Dumb was charged for sitting in the circle but the charge was rebounded as per his namesake.      

Nut Cracker charged Big Dog for buying some new puppies for his Wolfpack. 

Precious charged Pigs Arse for a run two weeks ago, but Pigs Arse wasn’t there so Cinderella took the drink.  

Bent Nose charged GILF because her teeth got too cold on the walk, Bent offered helpful advice, “Close your fucking mouth, that’ll help” 

Someone asked what GILF’s job was on the committee, it’s either security or transport as she makes the GM cum to Hash. 

Vanessa was charged for being influenced by Pink Bits and having pink hair after the school colour run. 

Squizzy was charged for being premature on trail and was very keen for a sing. As we all laughed, I heard Immaculate Conception confuse ‘premature’ and ‘immaculate’ which I think says a lot about his personality.

Next weeks (tomorrow’s) run is Mountie from Mt Xavier Golf Course 118 Fortune Street. 

ON ON 

Run #2204 (3 Jun 2024)

 Master Bait and Normal from the Band Stand near GC's 

The GM started the circle stating that no one was welcome, apparently, its gotta be two weeks or more nowadays. 

Num Num came out to Screw the boys, 

People got lost, it was NOT Non-Stick. 

A homeless person was found on trail, they were slow-moving! No, it wasn't heavy...

Was it heat resistant? Well, it was fucking cold! 

No Chemical Attacks as we think all potential attackers were dead and inside SMB. 

I'm sure Nummy said more but god knows my fingers were too cold to type it all! 

it was the first PERFECT SCORE 

Hashy Birthday GM Teflon <3 

The Sargent came forward, to not screw the run although that's what the GM told him to do... 

Bent Nose and BP went to the Pictures for a hot date night. They sat alone in the theatre, snuggling in the back row of seats, in the dark... imagine their screams of delight to see Campaspe before them on the screen. A real movie star in our Hash?! Never!!! 

The GM thanked the loudest of the committee, Spencer Hocking, Rowdy and Num Num for helping out last week while he was away. 

Run #2203 (27 May 2024)

  Welcome back to run 2203, we circled after dinner. How weird! Squizzy from Sebas Bowles Club

 

As our lovely GM was away (SHAME), we used the power of loud men! Thank you kindly for filling in Spencer Hocking.

The late circle started by welcoming back Rear Entry.

The run was summarised, “Squizzy, what a total fuck up of a run!” It is in the running for shit-house run of the year.

Apparently, Squizzy claimed, at the first of two drink stops, that the runners should arrive in about 2 minutes. Twenty minutes later he set off in the sad-sounding car to find them. And that wasn’t even the worst of the run!

Non – Stick

No one could find trail, maybe the trail didn’t stick to the run?

Chemical inertness

No one attacked us, but they did come out of their homes to watch us and point us in the wrong direction.

Low Absobs

I didn’t listen, let's blame the beer…

Heat Resistant

It was fucking COLD

Low friction

“Did anyone get lost? Did anyone fall over?”

WE ALL GOT LOST! 

5/6

The run was promised to be 5.4ks but was either 5.5ks, 6.2ks or 6.8ks. Who knows!?

 

Boner was left behind on trial, a fate much worse than death, but the charge was rebounded for Nutbush Clitty Licker coming to find him. A true hero!

We all told Juz Cum and Spartacus told FUCK OFF YOUS CUNTS as they head off on a lovely trip.

Num Num had made her way inside early from the drink stop, while poor old Bent Nose stood outside, in the cold, waiting for her with her stubby holder.

Then the beers really kicked in, and I got too tipsy to be awake, funny AND taking notes.

Next weeks run (tonight’s run) Master Bait and Normal from the Band Stand near GCs. On After at Eureka!

 

ON ON 

Run #2202 (20 May 2024)

Carpet Burns from the North Brit Hotel 

We gathered the circle together and Num Num screwed Carpet Burns (something we would all pay to see!)

No one fell over! No friction.

Juz Cum got attacked! Chemical Interness scored badly. 

Juz Cum had sticky blood all over her, no amount of water could get it off. Low Water Obsorbsion. 

Carpet Burns was hot? Maybe? Heat Resistant. 

The run scored 5/6 (don't ask me what one I missed) 

We retraced our steps and made sure to welcome everybody back, 

FOP, Deep Heat, Boner/Renob, Dr Death and Nurse Batshit (who couldn't be fucked to join us outside), DoodleNuts, Rear Entry, Big Dog and Pebbles! 

Our Sergeant came forwards and was bemused (I spelt that one right while shitfaced, yay me!) 

We were told the run heads West or East... Lucky for us, Boner went North! 

Rowdy was called and charged out for running a casual 23 ks over the weekend while training for Hash. Mountie added to that Her Vag was also caught training for Hash, but ended up winning a race instead. Mountie came second, and Snag confirmed this was a common occurrence for her.

DnC was charged for selling a car online. "In good condition" and so is the car! 

Juz Cum was attacked (pushed into the tree). I think Dr Rowdy just needed to fill his schedule for the next day. 

Carpet Burns was charged for being a short-cutting cunt on the walk, and wasting her own time as she had set a walking trail. 

Precious was charged for worrying us all saying he saw trail miles away on Webster Street and tried to get us all lost. 

Bent Nose fell for the classic blunder when Deep tried to charge Head Hunter and Quick Dick, Bent took the beer happily. Head Hunter then showed up, and then quickly left again. 

We sang a stupid sportsperson song for Rear Entry 

My notes ended with "I am so confused" so the beers must have kicked in.  

I am planning to catch up on the scribing ASAP, how dare I finish uni assignments instead... 

ON ON 

Run # 2201 (13 May 2024)

Run 2201 Num Num from home

We started the circle by welcoming back Spencer Hocking, Her Vagisty, Donuts and Dim Witt. 

Our GM, Teflon, called out the milestone runners for the night, DnC (350 runs), Num Num (800 runs) and Rowdy (1,400 runs) 

Our Hash Screw, Num Num, came forwards to screw Dumb & Dumber on the run’s properties of Teflon.   

Non-stick 

Unsure if this was about an adult joke or the run, I really don’t want to find out! 

Low friction 

Now we are totally talking about sex, yuck! 

Heat 

Apparently Dumb is always hot… 

Chemical 

Dumb does not react to an attack.

Hydro Phobic 

Nummy loves it when Dumb showers!

Low water absorption 

Didn’t rain on the run! 

Num Num decided that Dumb scores 5/6 

Our Sargent had arrived in all his fancy Gear this week, 

Dumb charged Disco as Dumb and Num had put up all the fancy lighting, all they were missing was the disco ball(s)

Rear Entry was charged for his piss-weak excuse of a stubby holder, but Nut Cracker fell for the classic blunder and took his drink for him. 

Our GM charged GILF for confusing her bike and his, a typical dementia symptom. 

Normal (or that Big Boy)and Mountie got charged for getting caught training for Hash on the weekend. SHAME 

Then the stupidity got turned up a notch, 

Dumb & Dumber was charged by NumNum 

Head Hunter was charged by Quick Dick 

Disco was charged by Precious 

But IC didn’t charge me!! RUDE  

Squizzy charged The Bill for not turning on is looking eyes at the drink stop, asking where the beers were while standing in front of the esky. 

Dumb was charged for not having any GF beer at his own Drink Stop even though he complained at everyone else’s run.

Donuts was charged for not walking 700m to the Drink Stop

Cinderella got a drink for baking laid or late? No one knows for sure.

Dim Witt told a ‘joke’ it is as follows, “A wise man told his wife nothing, why? Because he is wise!” 

Donuts claimed that a real wise man wouldn’t have a wife! 

By this time I had finished a whole beer and was too drunk to continue notes. 

Next Weeks Run 

Carpet Burns from the North Brit Hotel. 

On On 

Run #2200!! (6 May 2024)

 Run #2200 GM Teflon from Home! 

What a big night it was!

We started by welcoming the virgins, Caitlin and Alister  Quick Dick and HeadHunter had made them come. 

We also welcomed back Wendy! 

We reminisced about years gone by, 1983, our first Sovereign Hash Run. All hashers who weren’t born yet were charged (mostly Dickhead &Co.) 

Bent Nose reminded us how he was there 2200 runs ago as a visiting runner, unfortunately, we can not return him. 

NUM NUM came out to screw our GM, Teflon, and score him against the properties of himself. 

Low Water Absorption - Juz Cum walked on water just like Jesus, Precious asked where JeSOS was? 

Hydro Phobic - Juz Cum didn’t mix with that puddle. 

Chemical Inertness - Tahlia didn’t bring a torch and could not look out for an attack. 

Non-stick -No one fell over! 

Heat Resistant -  Precious ran in his huge jacket. 

Low Friction -  The Bill didn’t stick to Nummy. 

All of Hash wondered where Mountie was, lots of bushes and hills just for her! 

Sharfted was inspired by our Choir Master from yesteryear, Pauline, and sang us all a tune… what Sharfted lacks in talent he makes up for in cheer! 

GM noted that the man that ran Sov Hash run #1 should be Sargent for the evening, luck that’s his job!

Some charges included: 

Bent Noce charged himself for a palindromic run number 1515 and I drank in Specer Hocking’s absence for his equal love of palindromes and snorting. 

Nut Craker was charged for her Hashy Birthday! 

Late Welcome back to Force It (Faucet) 

DNC was charged for her namesake of getting a bit confused in the bush.

Campaspe and Juz Cum came together and didn’t remember it, and Wendy too, maybe…? I was distracted by the girlxgirl action! 

Disco was charged for punching Immaculate Conception hard enough for emergency surgery.

The circle was distracted by Normal's cracking cooking ability, almost setting the house on fire! 

Disco and Big Dog were charged for nabbing free committee beer, how typical! 

Next Week’s Run 

NUM NUM from home

103 Cuthberts Road, Corner of Alferton Drive. 

BRING YOUR TOGS!

Run # 2199 (29 Apr 2024)

 Precious from the Park Hotel 

This week was all about me!!! Pink for Pink Bits Run #100! It took me almost 100 weeks!

We welcomed Deep Heat, Doodle Nuts, D&C, Ding Dong, Shayne and Plucker back to Hash. And they were taken away with the virgin, Tahlia. 

Num Num came out to screw Precious, Ms D asked her to be gentle as it had been some time for poor Precious. He scored fairly well against the properties of Teflon...

Non-Stick - The past GM, Nut Bush Clitty Licker, had a bit of a tumble and rolled for over 20m (or so we are told) while on trail. 

Heat Resistant - Ding Dong ran in her full winter fit. Including a beanie and ski jacket. Plenty of heat up in there. 

Hydrophobic - for those who didn't hear... someone shit in our fridge. It was both Hydro Phobic and Homo Phobic! WHO SHITS IN A FRIDGE!?

Low Friction - Num Num and Hasher formally known as Randolf (Cinderella) ran slowly and took a massive shortcut on the run. 

Chemical Inertness - Deep Heat did not move much at all! 

We had no Sargent so Puss Bucket stood in, he said many funny things. Some are listed below:

- Bad Hair Day was charged for being horny for over 50 years (what a lucky man) 

- Quick Dick got charged for doing the city loop multiple times (must have been a very good nap) 

- Pigs Arse was charged for training for Hash by doing a half marathon (SHAME) 

- Dumb and Dumber showed off his new Keeper of the Book Outfit. Including a lock box and chain belt (they are back in style!) 

- Carpet Burns fell for the classic blunder, and struggled to tell the Dickhead boys apart (I have a trick on how to do it, but I'm not telling her) and she told most of Hash either the wrong hare or location for this week. 

- Both Daniel and I made Tahlia cum 

Puss Bucket finished off the circle by telling us all a Bar Fly tale, Donuts reworded it into a much funnier joke. 

"Three smoking hot blonde babes (Mountie, D&C and Nut Cracker) walked into a bar, and Snags told them to close the fucking door." 

Next Weeks Run: 

Teflon and GILF (10 Taylor Crt Ivermay)  

Wear your oldest Hash Gear for Run #2200