Sharon Olsen

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RUN #2080, 7 March 2022

Hare: Bad Hair Day – Location: 58B Magpie St, Mount Pleasant

This week, 27 Hashers signed the book and gathered at Bad Hair Day’s place. Juz Cum was adorned in balloons for her 100 runs and presented with an embroidered hash cap. We then embarked on the run in drizzly rain. The 4.5km trail took us up and down Magpie St, through Peady St Reserve, past a very stinky Ballarat East Bowling Club (it had just been fertilized), before bringing us to the DS on nearby Gladstone St. We then returned to BHD’s place for Hash circle which was followed by a plentiful BBQ dinner with snags, steak, salads, spuds and ice-cream & donuts for desert.

Hash Circle began with Welcomes Back for Fang, HCE, Fop, Her Vaj and Plucka.  Get a Life  . The Sergeant then charged Nutcracker for using one person’s real name and not their Hash name.  No No No  .

There was then a joke about Nutcracker going to see Dr Rowdy with something about designer brands and had some punchline about Target  .  What a Wank  .

We then celebrated Juz Cum’s 100 run achievement.  Why was she born…  . And Juz Cum was selected to hold Mountie’s Moot.

Mountie began with a joke that went something like this. There were triplets hiding in their parents room discussing their futures. One said when I grow up I want to be an electrician so its never too dark. The next said that when they grow up they want to be a plumber so that its never too wet. The third said when I grow up I want to be a boxer so that I can beat up the bald guy who keeps cuming and spitting in here . Mountie then awarded the following scores: Venue 19 (Not quite the fabulous East), Terrain 21 (lots of hills and some bush), Marking 15 (magnificent), Drink Stop -5 (the rain), Groovy Factor 20 (for the sign on the neighbour’s fence). Total Score: 70.  Shitty Trail  .

Dr Death, as sergeant, then called for charges from before the run. Spartacus charged Fang for spending too long in his car when he arrived, Pus Bucket charged BHD for his 17 points of attachment for the tarp that was protecting us from the elements and Mountie charged Dr Death for the rendition of Sweet Gary Goyne at the Park Hotel yesterday. Then if one Dr drinks, all Dr’s drink so I joined in. They ought to be  .

Spence then called upon Big Dog for reaching 121 runs and Juz Cum for her 100 runs.  Their one skin . The song was stuffed up and one skin went straight to four skin, so the stand in choir masters got a charge too.

The Bill was charged for getting a root on trail and as a virgin, he bled. Teflon then charged BHD for his car sticker saying “Give Blood”.  We’ve got Virgins  .

Spence then charged our hosts for this evening, BHD and HCE.  Thank God she’s finally shut up  . There was then a call for next weeks run and a call for any volunteers to set a committee run. Her Vaj and Pink Bits put their hands up to set the trail, further details TBA.

To finish off the charges, Spence then charged Pink Bits, so that we can remember her name. Juz Cum thought he said Pink Tits, so she got a charge too.  Finnish Drinking Song  .

Dumb then charged BHD and HCE for something about their shed storage.  You’re Ugly  and Campaspe was charged for something about stopping the rivers flowing.  U.G.L.Y  .

There was then an announcement for anyone planning to attend the upcoming Mystery Bus/Black Tie/Awards/Shagadelic night to put their name down and pay up. The event will be on 28th March with the bus leaving at 6pm from the Lake View and there will be a cost of $30 per person.

Next Week’s Run – Monday 14 March 2022 – Hare: Committee Run – Location: City Oval Pub.

 

Sharon Olsen

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RUN #2078, 27 February 2022

Hare: Exit – Glider Memorial Run - Location: Axedale Tavern

16 Hashers from Ballarat boarded the bus to travel to Axedale for the Glider Memorial Run. We met with other Ballarat Hashers, who made their own way there, along with Hashers from several other groups, I think there were Hashers from Doncaster & Eltham, Western Suburbs, Melbourne Ladies and Mornington Peninsula. By my count there were about 40 Hashers in attendance. After a minutes silence to remember Glider, we took off on a 5km run around Axedale and several of the guys ran shirtless, in homage to Glider. We then finished up with a well-stocked DS down along the Campaspe River before returning to the pub.

Hash Circle began with a charge for all the GM’s in attendance and a toast to Glider. Mountie was then called to screw Exit with Half a Bar holding her Moot. Mountie began with a joke that went something like this. Bent nose was on a plane next to a hot blond. Trying to impress, he asks to chat about nuclear power. She asks if a deer, a cow and a horse all eat grass, why do they shit differently? Bent has no answer. So, she responds “how are you going to talk about nuclear power when you don’t know shit”  . Mountie then awarded the following scores: Venue -50 (took too long to get here), Terrain 10+10+10 (1 hill,, 1 river, some bush), Marking 10 (inconsistent marking), Drink Stop 10 (Hung over Mountie could only manage to drink a can of solo), Groovy Factor 50 (Mountie and Snag’s wedding anniversary). Total Score: 50. Shitty Trail  .

Spencer Hocking, as stand in Sergeant, then charged Campaspe (who was named at the last run here) and himself, Half a Bar and Head Hunter, as they all wore the palindromic memorial shirts from our last visit to Axedale.  She’s the Meanest  .

Spence then charged Gilf for spending the majority of the trail on the phone.  No No No  . Spence also charged Half a Bar and Boner and tried to get them to do a shirt swap but it did not happen.  What a Wank  .

Dazzling from Melb Ladies Hash charged her fellow hash tarts for failing to listen and leading her astray. There was also call for those not wearing Hash gear to drink from their shoe but again, this did not happen.  She’s a Harriette  .

Doona then charged Precious as there are not supposed to be any real athletes in Hash. Precious and Mountie were then also charged for exposing themselves on trail when nature called.  You’re Ugly  . Shingles and Bumblebee were then charged for missing the DS because they were chatting to locals along trail, giving them a history of hash.  Soldier Song  .

Fluid Movement then charged Exit for driving between the DS and the pub. There was then a charge for Glider, but because he’s not here, Precious, you’ll do. There was then a call for anyone to say a few words about Glider. Shingles shared that he would give Exit a slide show full of wonderful memories. We were also told of the time that Exit and Glider visited Abu Dhabi. Evidently, Glider drove off and left Exit, having to go back and collect her later. Glider was also remembered for his London Marathon with Kermit. After 2 years of training which were often followed by BBQ dinners, he found out that Glider didn’t like the way he cooked steak. They also got a flight to London on Valentines Day so they held hands during the flight. Dazzler also shared that the Melbourne Ladies adored Glider as he often ran bare chested in lycra shorts. Loose Lips remembered a time when his shorts were ripped off to reveal a red satin g string. A Prayer for Glider was then read out.  Here’s to Glider  .

Fascinator then charged Mountie because he wanted to see if she could drink (she was hung over). He also recounted a story that Mountie told us on the bus about going into a country pub and noticing that no-one was wearing masks. She asked the barman why he wasn’t wearing a mask and he said that he was exempt because he had tongue cancer. Her response was “Gee, you’re lucky” .

Landing Strip then made an announcement that the Balls Up has been rescheduled for the 22 October at the Mulgrave Club with an Octoberfest theme. A 3-course meal and drinks on arrival will be provided. Tight Arse then asked if there was any interest in a weekend away in Maldon just after Easter. He needed at least 30 people to be interested for this to go ahead.  This is your Down Down Song  .

We then moved on to our pub lunch which was followed by a visit to Exits place where there was great country hospitality. More drinking, a game of quoits, yummy cakes, video’s of Glider and some went for a swim in the pool.

Dim Wit’s joke of the day, what is the Russian word for bed pan?....Poo Tin 

 

Sharon Olsen

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RUN #2079, 28 February 2022

Hare: Fascinator – Location: The Stag Hotel, Learmonth

This week, 29 Hashers signed the book and gathered at the Stag Hotel in Learmonth. The 5km run followed an anti-clockwise trail along the lake, then up the hill before returning to Fascinator’s place for the DS. Hash circle was held in the beer garden at the pub and was followed by our pre-ordered meals.

Hash Circle began with Rowdy charging Mountie for questioning if Dr Death’s dog, 3D could have a boner given that he is pre-pubescent. Then if one dog drinks, all dogs drink so Dr Death was joined by Big Dog and Pus Bucket.

Mountie then stepped up to screw the run and asked Pebbles to hold her Moot. Mountie began with a joke that went something like this. Fascinator and Her Fanny got married and Fascinator announced that in this house, he was going to do what he wanted, when he wanted. So Her Fanny said that every night there would be sex at 7, whether he was home or not . Mountie then awarded the following scores: Venue 20 (out of town but she didn’t have to drive), Terrain 20 (there was a hill, water and we saw a bush), Marking -5 (trail went 1.5km out of town then back), Drink Stop -200 (there was ice but shitty beer), Groovy Factor 200 (Mountie’s wedding anniversary). Total Score: 35.  Shitty Trail  .

We then had welcomes back for Dr Death, Pebbles and SS.  Get a Life  . Shafted said it was about time the other sergeant was here. Shafted then told us all that he missed the run yesterday because he was busy selling a racehorse that he bought for 50 grand, for 250 grand.  They ought to be  .

Charges from before the run. Lois charged Mrs D for asking if they were pulling the house down on the way into Learmonth, when this was clearly the case. Fascinator then charged Half a Bar for something about Great Northern Beer and Mountie charged The Bill for driving to last weeks run at Codes Forrest Road yet parking 1km down the road from this weeks run.  You’re Stupid  .

Precious then charged Mountie for her story yesterday about going into a country pub and noticing that no-one was wearing masks. She asked the barman why he wasn’t wearing a mask and he said that he was exempt because he had tongue cancer. Her response was “Gee, you’re lucky”. This also happened to be the pub that we stopped into on our way home from Axedale and we were served by the same barman.  You’re Ugly  .

Shafted then charged Big Dog for refusing to fill in his Directors Number application. Fascinator then charged Mountie and Pus Bucket and told a joke about swapping pants. Pus buckets pants were too big for Mountie, because Pus Bucket is the one to wear the pants in their relationship. While Mounties pants were too small for Pus Bucket, because she was not allowing him to get into them.  20 Toes  .

Mrs D then called Gabby to the front for her christening. We were told that Gabby loves the colour pink and was very happy to find a pink Gin at the DS and then got a pink stubby holder from the bar. So, Gabby was christened “Pink Bits”.  Give us an A  .

Rowdy then charged Nummy and Campaspe to tell us about Campaspe’s christening. Nummy recalled that Campaspe had a pee next to the Campaspe River however, that is not how I remember it.  She’s a Harriette  .

There were then final charges for Juz Cum, Nummy and Precious, but I can’t read my notes to figure out why.  Do your Tits Hang Low  .

Next weeks run was then announced, Bad Hair Day will be the hare and the run will be held from his place at 58B Magpie St, Mount Pleasant. Instructions are to enter from the side gate on Madelia Court.

There was also an announcement for anyone planning to attend the upcoming Mystery Bus/Black Tie/Awards/Shagadelic night to put their name down and pay up. The event will be on 28th March with the bus leaving at 6pm from the Lake View and there will be a cost of $30 per person.

Next Week’s Run – Monday 7 March 2022 – Hare: Bad Hair Day – Location: 58B Magpie St, Mount Pleasant.