23 - 4 - '18        Run 1876        The Grapes

THE BILL's run to get new GM PEBBLES off & running, 
(no pun!), & the GM was keen to sport the "Coat of Many 
Names" - maybe to conceal his 'shameful' AMP insignia -
think he'll go to jail?
THE BILL made sure we had torches for the fairly short run,
then 16 super athletes headed off in the fabulous East, firstly
along the creek, & then up the 1st hill of Bradshaw. Another
hill, a couple of halts & on backs later, & we were at the 
Pop-up shop - you know - where we usually have it, but this
time we'd run anti-clockwise, & then along came the half a 
dozen bar flys.
FASCINATOR, decked out in his daily "rip o..... gear" the 
Buxton Suit, met us outside the Pub, obviously keen to stuff
up another gag.
Our private circle (rectangle) on the veranda, shielded the 
other patrons from the "usual", & the new GM got underway,
with welcomes back for MRS DICKHEAD (bet she's back all 
year now), REAR ENTRY & PIMP.
                             (They're the meanest .... ).
Charges may include, but not limited to ........!
MOUNTIE was glad that her 1st Screw was THE BILL, & 
trotted out the Car Rating Board, giving him a 'Commodore'
rating, & then the limerick about THE BILL chasing Hash 
Tarts up the hill for a thrill.
                              (Shitty Trail ...........).
Stand-in Sergeant CHRIS CROS started out with a charge
for DUMBER & DUMBER & the flash car that he drives.
                    (This is your down down song ....).
NUMMY charged NUTCRACKER for the Nutcracker Position,
& was no sooner flat on her back, with legs in the air 
to demonstrate.
HALF A BAR charged the GM for his association with AMP,
& then PLUCKA had a drink for sitting down at the 'circle'.
SS charged THE BILL for his letter to the walkers prior to
walking ....... "Dear Wankers ..... signed by The Pill".
MOUNTIE called out RA DAZED & CONFUSED for the 
"Oh what a night (63)", & then the chorister duo 
HEAD HUNTER & QUICK DICK gave us their pre-Anzac song
from Vietnam.
BITCHFACE arrived later on in civvies & was duly charged,
along with the suited FASCINATOR, & DUMBER with his
Sheltered Workshop attire.
DR DEATH charged PEBBLES for running into some prickles
after the Drinkstop, then SILIC & PIMP the Austin Powers, 
Mini Me charge as the look-a-likes. 
SILIC & PIMP stayed out for another drink for the Melbourne
Trip a couple of years back, when SILIC got the arse from
PIMP's car & the mob came home without him, then MOUNTIE 
was charged for being 'no stranger' to the Pearl Necklace.
                          (Hymn, hymn ... f*ck hymn).
They saw the dreadlock brigade on the opposite steps, & BHD
was promptly dragged out for not having any, (but that's what 
he's gettin' next).
QUICK DICK became the stand-in DIMWIT with his 'Shit zoo' 
gag, & DONUTS with one about (? .. can't read the notes),
the 3rd day of Easter, but the Earth is round - dunno!
An abundance of grog at this stage & bereft of charges (just
like when BENTNOSE is here!!), so all those who haven't been 
charged - out the front.
FASCINATOR charged PEBBLES for getting rid of "all of his 
bush" - in the garden.
The GM got some heckling after announcing next weeks run
from the Western - wrong !!
Next weeks run - 1876 - Hare BITCHFACE at Victoria Bowling,
Victoria St (ummm ... rear entry .... so to speak).
Food was then delivered ably by Petra from Czech Republic to
Mr Death, One & a Half Bars & others.

16 - 4 - '18           Run 1875            AGM

The "FOF" AGM (f*ck off FOP) from North Bowling, that saw
a Hash 35 congregation. HEAD HUNTER called us around for
her last time, & then FOP went thru' his. He had welcomes 
back for EGG & BACON, & KOK UP (put your hand up 
KOK UP - think we'll leave that to Dr ROWDY!!), CANDIDA
& ROAD RUNNER. 
HER VAG told us that the run would be cold & wet, not very 
long, & marked in 'spray' chalk. 15 Bar Flys stayed back to
drink, play bowls & drink again, while FASCINATOR had 
breathing trouble, & was back after only part of the run.
The Drink-stop was only down the block, & well stocked,
complete with plenty of chips (forget about the salt & 
vinegar - seagull BENT was lurking). NORMAL & LOIS LANE
had to console one of the locals, who thought we should
have given the neighbourhood prior warning of our
impending 'flash mob'. D&C was looking for a 'warm hand'
when she 'came', & then MOUNTIE said that she'd been 
running round in circles - aren't the blocks up that way
fairly square-ish?
At the circle, FOP had welcomes back drinks for KOK UP,
EGG & BACON, CANDIDA, ROAD RUNNER & PRECIOUS,
& then for the horde of past GM's. FANG was there as well
to collect his key ring from last week.
                              (Get a life, life, life).
FASCINATOR was there for his final screw - "the GM's 
partner", HER VAG, saying "it's where no-one's been".
In the end, he'd only done part of the run, couldn't be 
stuffed, & had a fascination level of "nuthin' ".
                               (Shitty trail ....).
SPENCER HOCKING was next for his final 'Sergeanting'
(much to DIMWIT's delight) & charged PLUCKA for sitting 
down during the circle, and KOK UP & FOP were there for 
some reason (?) as well.
                  (Put it in your hand Mrs Murphy ..... ).
HEAD HUNTER, LOIS, FOP, DUMBER, DR DEATH, SS, & 
ROAD RUNNER were up there for the palindromic charge.
      ...... Ohhh, here we go ....... (Oughta be ... ).
LOIS told her 3 man gag where the 3rd man didn't come,
& as 1 joker drinks, out come the other dimwits, f*ckin' 
HALF A f*ckin' BAR & DIMWIT.
                       (She's a harriette .......).
CRUTCHLESS & HER VAG were next for setting half of the
run each, then D&C charged Richie for not wanting to know
any of the Hashers when he saw them at the Miner's Tavern.
EGG & BACON had GILF & TEFLON out for GILF being
exactly like TEFLON, then PEBBLES to DIMWIT at the 
Lal Lal run, saying about the car's blinkers .... yes, no,
yes, no, & as 1 dimwit drinks, you too HALF A BAR. 
                               (No no, bad bad ....,.,).
DUMBER gave ROAD RUNNER the Hawthorn 'Hawks'
charge, SHAFTED charged PEBBLES & FASCINATOR -
just how come FASCINATOR came back from the run with
a sore throat, & QUICKDICK was in there somewhere for
having no Hash gear.
MOUNTIE charged DIMWIT for saying on the run, "whenever
you have an erection, you should build a fence around it".
DR DEATH charged JITTERBUG for not knowing West from
East, & as 1 Dr drinks, you too ROWDY, QUICK DICK & 
DR DEATH.            ( No ).
EXIT was next for the U turn, & FASCINATOR for his 
optometrist gag, then all the jokers drank - HALF A BAR,
DIMWIT & LOIS. The "little miss muffet & the kurds got
in the way" was next, & of course, DIMWIT chimed in with 
the "Italian suppository - the innuendo", (he must open a 
f*ckin' lot of bon-bons !!).
BP disgraced herself, spilling the red wine, & then 
CRUTCHLESS congratulated HEAD HUNTER for knowing 
all of the songs.
SHAFTED gave us a lengthy demo on the resurrected 
Flop O Meter that gave FOP another drink, & then the last 
charge of the "FOP watch", was for DIMWIT & his adulation
of SPENCER HOCKING's demise, but as 1 dimwit drinks, 
you too HALF A BAR.
FOP's over the moon by this stage, & eager to announce 
the new GM - enter PEBBLES & "The year of the Car".
He mentioned "raise the bar, & lower the bar", & now,
at least it's still rhyming.
New Committee are Sergeant SHAFTED, Screw MOUNTIE,
Trail Master DUMB & DUMBER, Choir Master QUICKDICK,
Religious Adviser & Hash Flash DAZED & CONFUSED, 
Hash Horn TEFLON, Hash Cash CHRIS CROS, Grog Master
NUTCRACKER, Keeper of the Book PLUCKA, & Scribe,
(repeat offender) BAD HEAD JOB.
QUICK DICK was charged for dressing up in civvies for the
night, new GM PEBBLES for the dodgy AMP deals caught 
out by the Royal Commission, & "Year of the Car", piped in 
by the music "Jump in my Car".
The booze flowed all night on the "Hash Tab", & bill of fare
was Chicken Pieces & various salads, followed by cakes,
chocolate & vanilla, & peppermint creams.

Next week's run - 1876 - Hare THE BILL, at The Grapes,
                                                                         Grant Street.


                       




   

9 - 4 - '18        Run 1874        Mystery Bus

The "fabulous East" was the new start point for the annual 
mystery bus trip - "not going anywhere near the City Oval" 
spruiked the GM for his pen-ultimate night in the Chair. They
paraded in various levels of feathers & guns for the 
"Gangster's Ball". We paid our dues & attached the obligatory 
wrist band - (no glasses) which bit rips off anyway?" 
The bus appeared from Avoca - have we pissed off Gold Bus 
that much? We take off further toward the East, when the 
Coach Captain grounds the front of the bus on the tarmac -
scrape, groan, scrape - get up to the back of the f*ckin' bus 
SILIC & SHAFTED, & take some weight off of the front. We
scraped thru', to a resounding chorus of "do it again" - who'd
be the driver for that mob of piss-pots? The girls had to lift
their legs high over the eskys in the walkway, until we 
eventually saw HER FANNY!! Hobartians, CRACKER & 
IN THE RAW hadn't realised the sniffyc*nts of the night's
attire, & fronted up in the usual Hash gear, & in asking
NORMAL to take their photo with the smartphone said,
"do you know how to take a photo - just push this button
here".... ah hem !! Various changes of direction put the 
unsuspecting off the scent, until we arrived by the 'not open'
Dunnstown Pub. Off the bus, & we finished up in one of 
The O'Halloran's sheds. The drinks & finger food flowed
until a few down downs kicked in. WARWICK & SANDY TIT
got welcomed back (I think !), & then an O'Halloran, but of
course, when one O'Halloran drinks .......!
                         (They're the meanest ...).
HER VAGESTY & MOUNTIE were next for all their input 
towards the night.
                         ( She's a harriette ..... ).
Sniffyc*nt runs during the year were for SS (1600), GLIDER,
BP, NUMMY, TEFLON, DUMBER, SOS, FOP, PUSBUCKET, 
CHRIS CROS, FANG, & DR DEATH's ( 1st time running after
5 years), & when 1 Dr drinks, out there JITTERBUG, ROWDY
& QUICKDICK. GLIDER had his 40th year at Hash, MOUNTIE
reached the 'dried arrangement' of 60 on a Hash Night, & 60 
for DONUTS on a Hash Night as well. FOP had a drink for
PRECIOUS who had his 18th.
                     (Put it in your hand Mrs Murphy .... ).
HER VAG, PEBBLES, NUMMY, GILF, BP, D&C, PLUCKA,
TEFLON, SPENCE, LOIS LANE & DUMBER all had a drink
for their input to the Nash Hash weekend.
                           (U.g.l.y.  ....... you're Ugly).
By this time, the Hobart couple couldn't believe the 
proceedings, & were nearly pissing in each other's hand.
Sergeant SPENCE charged SS for Run No 1600 being the 
digit sum of a half of f*ck all etc etc - you know what it's like!
HYMIE & SOS were next for some reason (?), along with 
PYRO from PMT, & then DUMB & DUMBER for being 
Son of SOS for his new haircut - I'm gettin' one of too!!
GILF & PLUCKA had a drink for those absent (?), along
with Tracey.        (Do your tits hang low ..... ).
PUSBUCKET had forgotten Pete O'Halloran, so they were
both out the front, & as 1 O'Halloran drinks ......!
                     (Build a bonfire ..... & burn the f*ckin' lot).
They thought SHAFFY was a George Pell look alike, & then
FOP was presented with the "colour matched broom" as his 
dance partner. LOIS LANE & BP were charged for leaving
black feathers everywhere, GLIDER, CRACKER & 
IN THE RAW had no Hash gear, & TOPPY, just because
he's from Africa.
                   Ohhh, here we go ..... umm (Oughta be ...).
LOIS LANE was out there again, this time with PRAWN STAR,
for their matching outfits - which one was too short?
DIMWIT told his 'Flintstone' gag about the people in Dubai
& Abu Dhabi Do, & then the embarasment of FASCINATOR's
night (& year !!), totally f*cking up his gag in front of the
gathered 50.            (F*ck off ya c*nt, f*ck off ..... ).
And then, the 3 Wise Men, HALF A BAR, FASCINATOR &
DIMWIT had a drink together.

The Awards:

FOP was very blessed & humbled to have NUMMY for 
weekly Hash consultations, so she gets the ARSO 
Club(person) Award.
NORMAL, SHAFTED, DUMBER & BAD HEAD JOB were up
together to collect the H3 key tags.
Shit-house Run didn't go to '3peat' contender FASCINATOR,
but to HALF A BAR, thinking that he'd almost killed FERGIE
on his Run.
Tight Arsed Prick went to SILIC, the Salad Roll King.
Piss-pot of the Year went to SHAFTED for being the navigator
from Lexton, eventually sleeping in the paddock with the 
horses - the Award being presented by Hat Trick Piss-pot
Award winner, PUSBUCKET.
ROWDY's Pot Calling the Kettle Black went to MOUNTIE.
Spectacle of the Year was introduced by FOP - never missing 
a chance to 'defrock', quickly got down to the 'bare nuggets',
to present the award to ROWDY, for his 'streak' & ball 
tampering efforts at the annual cricket match.
Shit-hot Run became a Captain's Call, when FOP awarded
same to FASCINATOR for his run, with the great sunset
at Mt Beckworth.
RA MOUNTIE had the last say, Christening Entertainer
Andy Pobjoy ....... arise RANDY HEAD JOB BOY.
More frivolity & grog followed (I think) - onward to Irish,
while I tried to stave off a hangover, going home for a
'Bex & a lay down', with "me" teeth in a jar !!

Next week's run - 1875 & AGM at North Bowling Club.

"Who could that new Leader be?"

2 - 4 - '18     Run 1873     Miner's Tavern

The Committee Run set by MOUNTIE & PUSBUCKET, that
bugger all Committee were at. Even FOP had "other 
responsibilities" (according to NUM NUM), but only went to
see the Catters get rolled by 1 point at the 'G', along with 
other Committee - HEAD HUNTER & QUICK DICK.
Hash 28 were there, & as we rolled up, the Hares were busy
trying to appoint a Stand-in GM, from anyone. Eventually
BENTNOSE stood up & was on the front foot from the start,
saying, "welcome back to me, & who are you?" to 
BITCHFACE - "Oh, just another MOUNTIE failure".
MOUNTIE told us to stay on trail, take a torch, & there are no
unmarked On Backs. On on we went down Mair St., to be 
nearly taken out by a car on the footpath just by the Benz
shop. Round a few streets in the 'Fabulous East', & then up 
that f*ckin' hill from VAG's Run - you know, they said "the 
long creep up the hill", but that was THE BILL. 
The Athletic Club brew was plentiful at the Drink-stop - & 
where was that? At the back of the Tavern - who knew?
Also who knew? FOP was absent - enter MRS DICKHEAD.
At the On After, BENT was bereft of charges but not of
dialogue - who knew again?? He saw that GEORGE  
PELL- ICAN was present, but not the thug barrister.
Much to TEFLON's surprise, he became the instant Stand-in 
Screw, saying "good run with plenty of checks & halts, & the
big hill", but a flaccid effort with an 8.9 score. MRS D screwed
the walk, generally giving NORMAL a pasting for his lack of
authority, but PAULINE blinded everyone - big torch?
BENTNOSE welcomed himself back & then Richy, EXIT, SILIC,
BITCHFACE, & REAR ENTRY. After DUMBER's piss weak 
effort of 'give us an A', we had NUMMY roaring it out. All the 
while NUTCRACKER was doing a sterling job as Stand-in 
Grogmaster, & looked like she's poured a beer or 7 before.
Then came Stand-in Sergeant DR DEATH with his 1st charge
for the Pre-Easter drinkers - MOUNTIE, NUM & (for not 
working out when they were on) JITTERBUG, & then BAD
HEAD JOB for trumpfarting with the Austrian Boys Choir.
MRS D became the Stand-in DIMWIT for her gag about
MOUNTIE & "I've got no nails" to put you up.
                           (She's the meanest ....... ).
MOUNTIE charged NUTCRACKER for her 'Jesus like' 
daughter - Arriving Friday & leaving Monday, then
NUTCRACKER had a 2nd for her near miss with the car on
Mair Street. 
D&C was out for being "the 61 yr old drinking water at the
Drink-stop" & of course, NORMAL had to be stand-in drinker.
NUMMY gave TEFLON a drink for whatever (?) about the 
On-backs, & then Toppy was the "Brown Abominable 
Snowman".       (Put it in your hand Mrs Murphy).
MOUNTIE had BITCHFACE, NUTCRACKER & PLUCKA out
the front for their On On calls, & THE BILL for his On On
humping. 
ROWDY charged NORMAL for 'slipping' in his old age -
hasn't managed yet, to steal Toppy's red T shirt & put it up
for sale.
HALF A BAR & BHD had a drink for the SPEECHLESS 
charge - "You were his f*ckin' music playing mate - he's f*ckin'
out there - did you say f*ckin' g'day - did you buy him a f*ckin'
drink? - he's f*ckin' Scottish you know, etc etc.
Toppy had to sing the chant for the JITTERBUG, LOIS LANE,
PAULINE & BENTNOSE charge, but said "Give us an A ........
& a B".
SS was telling NORMAL about the moles on his back, but 
NORMAL said, "there's only one way to get a mole off your
back - pay the bitch".
Seems that REAR ENTRY had negotiated for too many free
jugs, so on came the give-aways to GLIDER, THE BILL, 
PLUCKA, D&D, GILF, TEFLON et al., to which ROWDY led
the chorus of "Oughta be ..." (don't you just love it ??).
GLIDER could easily become the new DIMWIT, with his
long-winded God gag about BENTNOSE, & NORMAL had
his big rant about being the BBQ cook & having to put up 
with PLUCKA's shit !!

Next weeks run - 1874 - Mystery Bus at 6pm from carpark 
behind Skin Ski - another freakin' "dress-up" - arrrgh !! 

19 - 3 - '18       Run 1871      Chisholm St

HER VAGESTY's run around the Nerrina Hills with Hash 33.
HEAD HUNTER called the reverance & no-one took any 
notice, so on it went until she got "real serious", & then 
there was FOP. He welcomed virgin runners Christine &
Richy, & welcomes back to Toppy & some locals - tba.
HER VAG talked about the fairly short run, marked in chalk,
flour & yellow paint. HEAD HUNTER was in Christine's ear
all the way, being the Hash Saleswoman Extraordinaire.
After the huge hill to get us back to Black Hill lookout, we 
eventually came across the well stocked Furphy Drink-stop.
SILIC was busy talking up his recent week away to 
SHAFTED saying, "If you hang round the Pub long enough,
someone will give you one" ...... err, a Crayfish!!
Pizzaman FOP arrived, so down downs were on hold while
the seagulls circled. SHAFFY had meat on the bone with 
home-made cucumber pickle .... said he'd been eating it for 
3 days ....... someone's suggestion "sounds like the 
honeymoon !!"
FOP welcomed Christine, Toppy & Richy then welcomes
back for MASTABAIT, SOS, CHRIS CROS, BP, BENTNOSE,
HALF A BAR, SPARTACUS & REAR ENTRY.
                        (They're the meanest ...... )
FOP called on Stand-in Screw PEBBLES to screw partner
HER VAG. He talked about the short sharp run with the long
creep up the hill, but they said "No, THE BILL's the creep".
He said that the pizza arrived on time & the score would 
be .... 'whatever'.
Sergeant SPENCE began with the question "who made you
cum?" TEFLON made Christine cum, SPARTACUS made
Richy cum & HALF A BAR made Toppy cum.
                   (Put it in your hand Mrs Murphy ..... ).
Sniffyc*nt Days charge was St Patrick's for HEAD HUNTER
& ROWDY, then Pi Day for Pie's Supporters having no days
all year - ROWDY, CHRIS CROS, PEBBLES & NUTCRACKER 
CHRIS CROS recently turned up at the Airport on the wrong
day (who'd have thought?) & MASTABAIT was accomplice.
SPENCE had Richy out for the GEORGE PELL - I - CAN
charge with his prime No run, or was he the prime suspect?
Was it even Full Nelson, Half Nelson or Brother Nelson?
DUMBER & DUMBER gave Toppy the small man charge,
(have I got it right this time D&D?) along with HALF A BAR,
FANG was charged for buying the Seniors Coffee at Macca's,
then HALF A BAR for his whole $20 donation to the 
orphanage after his fund-raiser.
Who was trying to do PLUCKA in by ordering prawn pizza,
& then there was SHAFTED's pork for the Jews.
ROWDY charged virgin Christine for "show us your 
tree-hugger T shirt", & she showed us the camel-toe as well.
SILIC gave old mate REAR ENTRY a drink for fronting up to
Hash, just because SOS owed him money, then DUMBER 
had overheard SILIC telling REARY earlier in the day "we'll
leave & get a good pizza instead".
LOIS LANE charged DONUTS for saying "You don't get a 
Labrador - their owners go blind".
                     (ROWDY led the Que Sera Sera song).
HALF A BAR became the club-house leader over DIMWIT,
with his gag about The Pies' new sponsor Tampax, for their
very bad period.
                      (You're ugly ......)
BENTNOSE joined HALF A BAR as 'when one Jew drinks',
then the 2 Dr's for some reason (?).
That's all I can read ..... they keep on having down downs in
the nearly dark, although BENT did produce his ultra high
beam to half blind everyone, & he even tried to re-heat the 
pizzas a couple of times.

Next week's run - 1872 - Hare ROWDY's 'Midnight Run' from
Slatey Creek.

Don't forget "Light for the Stand-in Scribe" - see y'all Apr. 2.

19 - 3 - '18     Run 1870     Vic Park BBQ's

The "hope I don't f*ck this one up & incur the 'furious wrath' 
of more members" blog for Run 1870. Members concerned 
were upset about some 'mistakes', but if you had to decifer
my jottings on a Tuesday morning, sometimes thru' bleary
eyes ..... !! One Harriette with the same name as MOUNTIE
posted about such mistakes as she wrote "commments".
We had the Hash 25, with about half that as super athletes.
FOP intro'd the run as the Labour Day run by the hard
working Committee, but half of them had the night off .... 
bloody unions. He said it was 4.5 km, set in chalk & flour,
although the paint wasn't too crash hot on the gravel.
We went west to the High School ovals, north past the 
Aquatic, back over to the Begonias, then down past the rings
& on to the Drink-stop & chips in Vic Park.
Back at the On After, FOP had picked up the very welcome 
tarps to shield the wind & the forgotten eggs. He had 
welcomes back for THE BILL, TEFLON, RANDOLPH & Seth,
& QUICKDICK but forgot HEAD HUNTER, then the Choir
Master buckled saying, "Give us an A for all these".
Stand in Screw QUICKDICK was up next to screw 
Hare RANDOLPH, (closely watched thru' envious eyes by
SPENCER HOCKING). He said that it was great to see a 
good run & well marked by some young blood, & in the 
Begonia area.                  (Shitty trail .... ).
Sergeant SPENCE revelled in having a student out the front,
but said to RANDOLPH that the paint would last on the road
for 1870 years.                (You're stupid ...... ).   
BAD HEAD JOB was next for blog mistakes, & DUMBER
was able to tell it all over - CRUTCHLESS was camping (not
NUTCRACKER) in tents (& it wasn't intense!!).  MOUNTIE
joined the charge for her commment, & BITCHFACE was 
there for some reason (?). DUMBER stayed out for the charge
with SS (you'll do SPENCE) about Melb. AFLW playing so 
well, that they should be replacing the men in their Comp.
MOUNTIE had a drink for the Cricket Team in the finals, then
NUMMY joined her for their Saturday at Mt Buninyong, 
to return Sunday & burn the place down.
PUSBUCKET had a drink for saying to MOUNTIE during her
golf lesson, "You're standing too close to the ball - AFTER
you've hit it !!"
D & D had a charge for NUTCRACKER wanting to wear a 
'fascinator' to the races - usually it's DONUTS.
NORMAL cooked up the eggs, bacon & hash browns (in
behind the wind break), scolding everyone who dared to
give him advice. There was also cheese, salad & bread rolls,
& some sweet stuff. 
....... & guess who just happened to be going past 
NORMAL's place for a ride home?

Next weeks run - 1871 - Hare HER VAGESTY at the 
Chisholm Street Park.

5 - 3 -'18     Run 1869    219 Coalmine Rd.

SHAFTED's 'Bro' Run', that saw the skinny Foster 'Gary', & 
FOP's bro' Travis roll up with 30+ in all. SHAFTED was early
for a change, & quickly berated anyone who came late. He 
said the run was marked in pink paint, blue ribbon & quinoa
( HALF A BAR, it's "kin wah") flour, straight away relegating
ROWDY to the walker's fold - can't be having those colours!
Trail began behind the shed, & followed the very recently
mown track to the little bit of circle work, & then into the 
bush. FASCINATOR sqwarked all the way (like the swearing
bird on it's perch), hoping that SHAFFY would take over his
mantle of shithouse run. Seen on the run, was the remnant 
of a drink-stop from 2 years ago - plastic bag full of empties.
A lot of bush bashing & we came across the Drink-Stop, 
where the "fit-bitters" debated the length of the run - 
between 8.6 & 9.9km, when SHAFFY thought the dislexia 
kicked in - 6.8. D&C was looking for water, but it was
"all frozen" into little cubes at the bottom of the Esky.
GEORGE PELL - ICAN appeared from the shed nearby, 
along with the chilli chips.
At the On After, FOP welcomed back Gary - the bro' from
another Mother, & virgin runner Travis (as MOUNTIE 
announced) the dumb-shit bro', along with his Down Down
mentor CRUTCHLESS - she'd also forgotten the Down Down
glasses.             (he's the meanest ........... ).
FASCINATOR began the screwing, saying that it was nicely
marked, but it was as long as the Bradman average - 9.9, 
& must have been set by 6 bros - Gary even ran his own
On Backs. Fascination level of 69, then 'yawn' (Shitty Trail),
& MOUNTIE, a drink for reading from the song sheet.
Sergeant SPENCE had a charge for BITCHFACE - last week
signed the book as Susie No 7 run, then, this week
as BITCHFACE No 6 run.
Next was the siblings charge for FOP & Travis, SHAFTED
& Gary, and MOUNTIE & BITCHFACE.
                     (Oh, the wiggle of her arse .......... ).
DIMWIT drank up for not wanting to own the gag - birds in
the hand vs one on the face.
Late comers DIMWIT & PEBBLES were out - Navigator
PEBBLES sent them the wrong way for the 2nd year in
succession, & made DIMWIT short of diesel again - (top
half of the tank is always good DIMWIT).
The wounded (the bleeders) from the run were next, 
MOUNTIE, NUTCRACKER & BITCHFACE wiping away the
blood. PUSBUCKET already had scabs on his shin - was 
that from MOUNTIE being "down the other end", after the
30th Anniversary fun last week?
               (ROWDY's chorus - Only women bleed !!).
MOUNTIE, NUTCRACKER & BITCHFACE stayed out, to be 
joined by PRECIOUS, because they all "went down on"
the rail track.
FOP charged HER VAG for her big pink C, & then
NUTCRACKER was called out for her pink bits.
LOIS LANE had DONUTS out for walking to the big log 
saying, "Think I'm gonna pull that off".
NUTCRACKER had a drink for describing her camping
as intense (in tents), BITCHFACE wondered if it was a cow
or horse in the paddock, but then SHAFTED has bought a
few horses that have turned out to be cows.
FASCINATOR didn't want to "cross the line", but charged
CRUTCHLESS anyway, for taking HER FANNY away for the
weekend, making him a w/end batchelor, but he party'd 
along with SHAFTED , PLUCKA & Paul Bearer, then
SHAFFY had another drink for escorting CRUTCHLESS to
the loo, & holding the door ..... only slightly open.
PUSBUCKET gave ROWDY a drink for (if nothing else),
standing in front of the '3 old poofs'.
SS had the 'in absentia' charge for NORMAL, so DIMWIT
drank - was all about MASTABAIT & BENT NOSE being away,
he had no chauffeur. He phoned D&C who said she "wasn't 
going tonight", then she promptly drove out. He phoned SS,
who couldn't help, then left a voice message for BHD, who 
thought NORMAL was about to offer a ride to Lal Lal. In the
end, NORMAL said that he couldn't be stuffed going, that he
would spend the night with his wife - you missed out on "the
sex & running at the mighty Sovereign Hash" NORMAL.
                   (Put it in your hand Mrs Murphy, it spits
                         when you jerk it up & down ..... ).
1st run of autumn & it's not that cold, but NUM & DUMB both
had the winter Katmandu's on, BITCHFACE had a drink for 
wearing MOUNTIE's top, & NUTCRACKER, one for 
GEORGE PELL - ICAN.
Bill of Fare was BBQ snags in bread, spaghetti & bol sauce,
home grown cherry tomatoes, chilli & basil. NUTCRACKER
had a feast on the basil - just thinking about 'Barry'.
Oh, & Easter (sorry holiday) Eggs.

Next weeks run - 1870 - Committee Run from the BBQ's at the 
western end of the new playground opposite Loreto College.
Do we need to leg-rope SPENCER HOCKING?