Run # 2105, 22 August 2022.
Juscum from the Park Hotel
It’s time… for well utilized synonyms. As such, the hare was an inconvenience… Sorry, I meant to say a Hassle.
Juscum “set” the run, with a little help from Spartacus from the Park Hotel. And weather was anything but kind.
The fill in screw was oddly enough Fascinator, who self-confessed to having not run the trail. In fact, he confessed to not running a trail in a long while. Fascinator detailed the run would have been ideal under different weather circumstances and that the trail may not have been entirely followed as such. Fascinator then did the unthinkable. He was funny. Fascinator told of Juscum applying for the police force. She was asked 3 simple questions. She blitzed the first two: “what’s 2+2” and “what’s 4+4”. But then she was asked “who killed Abraham Lincoln”. Unsure of the answer, Juscum ws told to go home. Upon returning home, Spartacus asked her how she went at the interview, and she said she thought went well and she’s “got her first case”. Fascinator described the run as wet in the start, middle and end, kinda like sex. (Shitty Trail)
Pusbucket then detailed how he had been exploring warmer climates with Big Dog crunching the numbers on the likelihood of moving hash to these areas. Pusbucket described the only two differences to the hash community, no more rain coats, and the charge will increase from $5 to about 2.5 grand for the first few years.
Big welcomes backs were in order. A very big welcome back to Donuts. He was joined by Her Vaj, FOP and Fascinator. (Get a life). Other opening formalities included reminding everyone that the Black Tie was the 8thof October, and it’s $30 for head.
As we have seen many a time before, the GM and the Sergeant were one and the same once again. The first charge went to Juscum, who had a fall at Ladies Hash, but fell straight on her chest and managed to bounce straight back up. (You’re stupid)
GILF was then asked the deep questions of life, if women are so good at multitasking, how come they can’t have a headache and sex at the same time. The Bill joined. Hash heard of the Billy Goat visiting Dr Rowdy to ask about a male contraceptive. Rowdy showed the Bill a rather pill, to which the Bill asked whether the pill was oral or a suppository. Rowdy informed the Bill that you simply put the pill in your shoe and it makes you limp. (No no no)
Criss Cross then told us all how Normal combines AFL, endangered species and politicians. He went on a semantic ladened discussion about Menzie’s playing for Essendon. I’m sure at least one person understood it. (They outta be publicly pissed on)
Juscum was charged again, this time for her punctuality, having arrived at Ladies Hash a whole 7 days early. Rowdy joined her, being charged for wearing his Collingwood gear while Collingwood played on repeat on the TV behind him. (This is your down down song)
Tommy Half a Bar then came out the front. It was stated that Tommy had also seen Dr Rowdy for a gastric issue. Rowdy asked Tommy if his bowel movements were regular. Tommy responded that they ran like perfect clockwork, happening at 8am every morning. Only issue is that he wakes up at 9am. (You’re stupid)
Tommy then stayed out the front as Pusbucket told a joke. He told us all of how Tommy’s car had broken down on the way back from Hash and he was stuck in Clarendon. He went towards a house with a light on. After knocking on the door, a man informed Tommy that he would need to stay the night. The man said “I sleep in one bed. You’ll have to sleep with my young, beautiful, blonde haired, 21 year old… son” to which Tommy responded “fuck, I’m in the wrong joke”. (The creases of his pants could make a blind man cum and the fleece on his ewes weighs a fucking tonne)
Juscum was charged yet again, much to her enjoyment, for trail setting. Donuts did not see a single piece of trail. It was raised that he arrived after the run, but all charges stick. Juscum then mentioned that Spartacus should’ve given her a little more, which everyone was certain he would like to do. (20 toes)
It was mentioned that Juscum dressed in a manner similar to a condom on the run, and had Spartacus have dressed with a condom as well, Juscum wouldn’t have had a UTI… Sorry, I meant to say Wee Problem. (Finnish drinking song)
Mountie was the bought out the front for asking how you keep people in suspense, before deciding to tell everyone next week. Juscum was charged when she was overheard to ask at the drink stop “who would put this shit in a drink stop”. Mrs D and Criss Cross joined them after Mrs D maligned the arthritis ridden Criss Cross on the run. Teflon also joined them for his sporting achievement of running the City Reserve, with only 20,000 people finishing ahead of him. (They’re stupid)
After taking em away, the GM/Sergeant was charged for taking on another secret portfolio. The committee was then bought out the front, to which is was decided they were more together than Essendon. (S.C.O.M.O)
It was close to meals, so the beer needed to be drunk. So logically FOP was charged, as it was a long way to his doctorate, but not as long as Carlton winning back respectability. (His one skin)
Now, luckily the scribe was done late, otherwise y’all would’ve gotten the longest explanation about next weeks run ever… only for the run to change a few days out. Filling in the scribe late isn’t an act of laziness, it’s an act of ingenuity.
No comments:
Post a Comment