Run # 2107, 5 September 2022.
Road Runner from the North Britain
It’s time… for the biggest run of the year… apparently.
Described as a “Cast of thousands”, the Road Runner managed to bring everyone out for a night of running, drinking and Looney Tunes.
Welcomes backs included Pimp, Zig, Spencer Hocking, SOS, Beer Fuck and Campaspe. But the biggest welcome back went to the highly elusive, rarely seen but oft mentioned, near complete committee. Quoting MLK, the GM PUsbucket thanked God declared himself free at last from the constant stand ins. (Get a life)
Hash said hello again to the running Campaspe. Although, this Campaspe apparently didn’t run, simply walking. But she did ask those who did the run. She was advised there quite a few on backs, before advising that the walker trail looked kinda like a BBQ spatula. She also noted that quite a few people had made surprise returns, and commended Road Runner for properly catering the drink stop for these unexpected attendees. (Shitty trail)
Then came the big news of significant runs. Head Hunter has reached 200 runs, with Quick Dick quoting “it’s about time slacker”. But this paled in the significance of Boner’s first official run as a Ballarat Hasher. (20 toes)
Pusbucket then gave the run down of the barflies evening. He described Rear Entry going about his usually affairs before heading to the drink stop at SOS’s. Once there, everyone went to admire the cute baby, before Rear Entry showed up and made the baby cry. Pusbucket then spoke of Tommy Half a Bar telling Barlicker “If you could learn to cook, we wouldn’t need to go out for dinner so much. Or, if you could learn to wash, we wouldn’t have such a big laundry bill” to which Barlicker responded “That’s alright Tom, if you could learn to fuck, we could get rid of the gardener”. (U.G.L.Y)
Pusbucket then described the elegant sufficiency of sergeants that Hash had found itself with. QD was instructed to start, allowing the out of form Spence to get his charismatic mojo back before joining in.
QD added to the scribe’s description of the run, explain that Road Runner may have been describing his penis when he described the run. “Small, well-marked, and mostly on backs”. The Bill joined him for “alcohol abuse” being told “you know what you did”. Dr Death and Pimp rounded out the motley crew as Pimp had appeared on the TV and the only Hash shout out he gave was to Dr Death (one doctor). (He’s the meanest)
SS was then bought out the front in memory of Splash’s recently departed wife. (Give us an aye)
SOS and SS were bought out for a father’s day charge, seeing as they were both the oldest and youngest father’s in attendance. Tommy was charged for trying to watch “Farmer wants a wife and mistaking it for Farmer wants a Ewe”. Lois Lane bought herself out the front when she told the joke; “what did the cross eyed circumciser get? The sack”. (Mrs Murphy)
Beer Fuck then told a very long joke about Tommy Half a Bar working in a sex shop. It was funny, but we don’t have all day. This scribe is already late and we gotta cut corners to make up the time. But trust me, it was funny. DnC joined Tommy for showing up late and still catching. In fact, it was stated that various Hashers could hear her calling out “On on” from the back. That was until she got closer and it was realised that she was saying “hey Siri”. Road Runner was bought out the front with a thank you for the girly drinks and their accompanying pregnancy warning. (B I M B O)
Shafted then made a visual gag that somewhat didn’t work and charged Bent Nose for it. You had to be there. Shafted was charged for training a winner horse, but not giving a tip to Dr Death who pays half the training fees. (No no no)
Wee Problem was charged for being a premiership player, with Nut Bush Clitty Licker being charged as the coulda been back to back to back coach if he didn’t decide to fuck off. Wee Problem got another charge for making 100 games. And, in the peak of Hash comedy, Rear Entry was asked to sing the Richmond song. (We are Geelong)
Zig was charged for driving up from Geelong and knocking on Tommy’s old address. Big Dog joined him on a hypothetical. If dogs have a legendary sense of smell, why do they need to shove it up another dogs ass? (Finnish drinking song)
The Master Baiter was then charged for hosting an orgy at his house. BHD was bought out as a representative for vaccinations. Num and Dumb joined then. It was regaled that Dumb had asked Num “was I first man you made love to?” to which Num responded “were you backstage at the Rolling Stones concert”. Boner closed out the charges. With everyone making a big deal about someone bringing Boner to one run, Precious mentioned it wasn’t a big achievement, he’s bought a boner to 217 runs. (down down down)
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