Run # 2108, 12 September 2022.
Nutcracker and DnC from the East Bowling Club
It’s time… for more of the fabulous east.
Nutcracker was first bought out the front. Of all the runs for it to happen on, Hash was astounded that the weather had slipped so dramatically on the Ras own run. DnC joined her, as DnC was pretty keen to take credit for the run. (B I M B O)
The Campaspe is back and fully running. The map of the day saw a few people surveyed, with a general consensus that it was a rotten pumpkin, to go with the rotten beer (we’ll get back to that later). Several things of note about the run; too many hills; it rained; big sections without markings. On a positive, at least Campaspe didn’t have to complete any on backs. Then, the beer at the drink stop. Campaspe cracked a beer and it tasted a little funny. Tried it again and it tasted a little funny. As she poured it out, the slime began to run out of can. (Shitty trail)
Spencer Hocking was then presented with his committee shirt. And in the pinnacle of comedy for the night, he removed 8, count ‘em 8, layers before he put the shirt on. Pusbucket then warned that a significant portion of the ground had developed aibophobia, the fear of palindromes, in Spence’s absence. Pusbucket then began a joke. He called Spence a great numbers man, then in real life Tommy Half a Bar walked himself out the front unprompted, then Pusbucket said Spence stuck two numbers to his front fence, everyone laughed, and Pusbucket went with it. (He’s the meanest)
Tommy and SS stood out the front to be given the good and bad news for the Demons. Bad news, they’re outta the finals. Good news, time to go to the snow. (You’re stupid)
The monarchist representatives were then bought out the front. BP (Bent will do) and Lois were informed of the good news and the bad news. Bad news. Liz is gone. Good news, Jughead is in and a republic is in. (God save the KING)
Spence and Quick Dick took the stage for the greatest double act since Shafted salvaged Dr Death’s time as sergeant. Mountie and Dumb were bought out the front to represent those with tough feelings about the queen. But more disappointing for those ruling by birth right was Brisbane beating Melbourne. (Brisbane song?)
A charge was made of Her Vaj dying, and when she did she had a Wee Problem. But King Charles definitely had a Boner. (Get back in the kitchen)
Bad Hair Day and Nutcracker were bought out the front. Nutcracker was charged for not being able to set a run and appropriately RA at the same time. BHD was charged because when it started to rain, he pulled his hood on to protect his hair. Mountie was also charged for complaining about someone signing in her spot in the book and asking “who wrote their name here?” (No no no)
Juscum, Big Dog and Wee Problem were commended for wearing black in mourning of the queen. (This is your down down song)
The circle then heard of Campaspe’s neurotic cleanliness, with the warning she may have been checking everyone’s shoes later for dog shit. Mountie was charged, because Hash had heard of a conspiracy to kill King Charles and Hash reckons Mountie is the leader. (Finnish drinking song)
Nutcracker and the Bill were charged. The Bill once insightfully said “it never rains on the run”. This caused some hashers to be late, as they saw the rain and assumed the rain could not have yet started. (Give it a blow)
Nutcracker was commended for getting the weather right inside the venue, where it was nice and warm. Pusbucket then told a joke, there was some discussion about the Bill and Mountie calling each other, and we all had a good laugh at Pauline’s health crisis. Mrs D then fucked the song and joined them out the front. (Why were they born)
Pink Bits then came out the front for stating she didn’t know she had a matte. Mrs D joined her for going to work with two different shoes on. (This is your down down song)
The Barflies were then called out the front. As you know, you are what you eat, and the barflies were the only attendees that night not to be wet cunts. The president of the club then took the final drink. (What a wank)
Next Weeks run is Dr Death from the Den, football theme
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