Bevan Kelly

Admin

  · 1 d  · 

Run # 2100, 18 July 2022.

Tommy Half a Bar from the Meredith Pub.

It is time… for the joint Geelong and Ballarat Hash run. The run was comprised of the 12 hashers on the bus, SS, PennyFarthing, Tommy Half a Bar, Barlicker, with Bait and Normal as late comers. And representing Geelong hash we had Fergie…

Post run, Pusbucket acknowledged that it was run 2100. And in an ode to Spencer Hocking, he explained that 2100 is the digit sum of the square root of 9 which means 2 thirds of fuck all. The proceedings began with a welcome back to Fergie, and if one Geelong Hasher drinks…, as well as welcomes backs to Tommy, Barlicker, The Masterbaiter and Big Dog. (If you’re from Geelong you’re a cunt). The RA, Nutcracker was charged for her comments on the bus ride out to Meredith. As the bus was leaving the Ballarat area, the rain began and Nutcracker was heard stating that Meredith was outside of her religious jurisdiction. Joining Nutcracker out the front was Mountie. At the same time the rain began, Pusbucket was heard to say “a little mizzle rhymes with pizzle”, to which Mountie responded “I’d rather be under a mizzle than a pizzle”.

The stand in screw for the evening was Nut Bush Clitty Licker, who had the greatness thrust upon him in the toilet. He noted that Tommy had taken the run to “bugger it if I know” and that the run was heading out to Ballan at one point. NBCL did note that the run went past a shrine to the traditional owners of the land, the Spielvogels, and ended at it’s non-existent drink stop. Upon finding the drink stop, it was stoked with NQR beer and chips. Tommy was heard to say “this is the longest screw there’s ever been in our family” before NBCL gave the run a rank of 1. (Shitty trail).

Tommy was made to stay out the front as hash was regaled with the tale of half the running pack returning to the pub. With no idea of where the drink stop was, Barlicker called Tommy to ask where the drink stop was, to which Tommy replied “where I’m parked”. Pusbucket bought Barlicker out the front as well and noted the issue in the family home. Tommy found Barlicker in bed with his best friend. Tommy gave Barlicker a bit of what for, but the dog was okay. (Finnish drinking song).

Pusbucket called Fergie out the front. Fergie was tasked with showing the walkers where to go. When Fergie asked “can I just tell them where to go?” Pusbucket concurred that he would also like to tell the walkers where to go. Teflon was bought out to stop the Geelong hashers from drinking alone and was charged for his colour coordinated outfit. (They’re poofters, they’re assholes , they outta be pegged… *Bangs table profusely*)

Tommy was again out the front, this time for his affiliation to the gun club, who held a shooting contest the other day by having Tommy stand on a barrel while they took shots at him. Claire from the pub was bought forward and Hash heard of her conversation where she expressed admiration for Shafted, ad noted that he “literally shafted me”. (Get back in the kitchen).

Tommy Half a Bar then told hash of a “very good joke”. Tommy told the story of a schoolteacher who thought it was a good idea to ask the children of the class what their fathers did for a job. The first child said their father was a plumber. The next, an electrician. Then little Johnny said that his father was a stripper at a gay bar, and if he gets paid enough money, he has sex with men out in the back-alley way. Th teacher was decidedly concerned and asked Johnny privately if what he had said was true. Johnny told the teacher that it wasn’t true but he was too embarrassed to tell the class that his actually plays for Collingwood. A charge was given to Rowdy. Precious was then charged for spending his 23rd in Buttfuck nowhere. (Mrs Murphy)

Charges from the run saw Tommy charged for an unmarked on back, to which Tommy responded that there “were 3 of them”, two of which were neve found. Teflon was also charged for running past a big X. Teflon called the large on back, only to be told it was a railway street marking. (A Soldier). Precious and Juscum were charged for disappearing down a dirty lane together, before Tommy was charged again for stating his run would where hash had never gone before. This was wrong (Give us an aye)

Normal was bought out the front for standing in for Tommy on the run. Normal took the important task of watching Fergie, because last time there was shiggy, Fergie wasn’t able to get his leg over. Teflon and GILF came out the front for setting bike trail in wine country in 2020 that Fergie missed due to car issues. It was then asked if “Wine country was where it was or the sound he made”. Hash the circle began to slow, a charge was given to Spartacus for the optimistic third jug. (No no no)

Mrs D was bought out the front and the circle heard of her class that was getting boring, so she asked the class to write poems and discuss the poems. The next day she asked the first boy out the front who said “My names Dan and one day I’ll be a man and I’ll grow up and go to Japan”. Impressed by the first poem, another student was asked to read their poem out. She said “My names Mary, and I hope to grow up and be a lady and have a baby”. Feeling that it was going well, Mrs D asked another young man to read his poem, to which she heard “My names also dan, fuck China and fuck Japan, Mary wants a baby, I’m the fucking man”. The next charge went to the RA for gloating about there being no rain on the run, moments before the rain at the drink stop. NBCL was then charged for his aptly selected Rains in Africa from the shuffle party. Pusbucket was charged for running in a hash event on the weekend, which saw someone end up being rushed to hospital. However, all was not bad. NBCL stated that Gina (the victim of the fall) ended up with a plate in her hand, so next time they ask ladies to bring plates, she’s set. (UGLY)

2Jacki Fowler and 1 other