RUN 1676 Venue: Old Colonists Club Hare: Bad Hair Day 18 August 2014

Tried and true for a Ballarat Winter is the colonial air of the Old Colonist’s Club in the night spot centre of the city. Everyone attending smiled for all the CCTV cameras (more than at the Shed Soirée). Through the 2 sets of solid timber doors, up the beautiful carpeted staircase into the toasty bar area, gas wood fire ablaze.  It was almost too good to leave.

Again trail troubles were forecast due to the intermittent rain but the trumpfarter BAD HAIR DAY played the mini horn masterfully and his experience shone through like a polished scalp under a full moon.  He kept all runners tight and on track making the most of city cover yet getting a good run in.

Walkers happily arrived about the same time at the Drink Stop under cover in the library car park with some chaps chatting up the hash tarts and hoping for a freebie drink. They must have been French as I heard BP call them De Rose?  We skipped the starter at the soup kitched and headed home to the warmth and ales to find SOS out to play and volunteered to be Choir Master for the night.

NORMAL reckons his protégé GrogMaster FM is getting some from elsewhere and he had to once again serve solo.

Welcomes Backs to many;  ROADRUNNER to make sure he wasn’t a welcomes back for his own run next week (and his lovely friend that disappeared), GLIDER returned from European interhash, PEBBLES rolled in again, PLUCKA ducked in, heard to be recovering from an in-her-rear blockage, Stents are HOCKING bypassed some runs and has returned to test his excitement meter.

Significance was deemed to apply to the mighty OneOne69 not needing to MASTABAIT and Dozen matter about PLUCKA’S 12 runs.

HEAVY, having found something better to do, has penned a lyrical ode to the tune of “On top of old smokey” ON top of BAD HAIR DAY, no hair to be seen, but what does he have there? A loverly sheen.   More verses about his root toot tooting horn playing and that he has plenty of feelings, usually of Hash Tarts!.  Summary?  A Top winter run from the hairless hare.

STENTS Seargeanted in a steadfast manner. The biggest charge involved most in the room as it was his shout. BAIT had more travel tales of ineptitude involving CRISSCROSS.

SNAG’S sweet snatches, confectionary genitalia, aka pink lollypop fannies, featured again.  REAR ENTRY had dipped his in chocolate and finished it lickety-split. NORMAL got too excited he couldn’t get his tongue around it so he swallowed his hole whole!

Charges were bandied about some getting regular rooting and MRS D recognising the envies of those that dream of more. We finished the beer barrel so we ate.

T’was indeed sumptuous and generous feast lovingly prepared and served by the great Old Col Crew.  Sauces and gravies accompanied the multi-roast meats that came along with a grand selection of wholesome vigies followed by kiwi fruit salad and ice cream dessert.  Must Say; Thoroughly enjoyed by all, the full bellies rumbled Many Thankses!!

Next Week’s Run: Roadrunner at The North Britain Hotel  Cnr Doveton and Macarthur Streets for more warm cosy quality. (Gourmet was mentioned, something about tongue in cheek and lambs fry and Half a Favourite, Lamb cuntlets).

RUN 1675 Venue: Bluebell Hotel Hare: Beer Fuck 11 August 2014

"Go West young man"God said to the Geologist! "Seek your fortune amongst fringe dwellers, flat ground, hot cars, bicycles with motors, and not many other joggers. Order your meals before you go to be ready for 8.15pm."

 

This trail probably did wash away with the intermittent heavy showers we’ve been having. BUT FUCK BEER had his bike handy to ride around and freshen up the markings one last time then shepherd us on the run trail.  Plunging into the depths of the west with ease, west ease that is. Violence on Violet, muggings in Marigold and past the Grand Master’s Store. Lucky the hare was there to cut off the extra 4km loop he had set in case we needed a challenge. Around the West railway station and out to Gillies. Meeting up at the

Drink Stop of Cerveza under a fairly full moon by Lake Wendouree, at the end of the Forest, in the back of the blue wagon the ice cubes hadn’t melted in fact they had grown bigger.  We listened to the birds night calls that 2 old Coots, SS and MASTA recognised as Musk Duck mating calls!!

 

Back at the cosy billiard room BILLY had passed the Baton to SHAFFY and as meals were only a few minutes away Down Downs were abbreviated to Do Dos.

 

Welcomes Backs to the west for the southern couple that so like the East. MOUNTIE and SNAGGY PUSS BUCKET had endured Iceland, Neverneverland, Belgieland, and Croatialand leaving NUM and DUM to do each other as they please, then dashing back for 2 hours sleep, work, then Hash. Would we expect less?  Also CRISS CROSS returned from his worldly euro jaunt. The only run of significance was FASCINATOR falling asleep on ZZ.

 

Intermittent HEAVY in absentia bastardised a hash classic; Aye Aye Aye Aye si si senora My sister Belinda she pissed out the window onto my big sombrero, CERVEZA’s luck and manhood were questioned in rhythmic lyric.  The chorus was sung enthusiastically and ingrained into memory banks of all to resurface next bus trip? Good roll-along run for some, through interesting neighbour hoods. (2 common words in these parts). At least equalling GIN ON THE ROCKS best effort. Well done!

 

MASTABAIT charged his travel mate who told us of CRISSCROSS likely starring on Border Crossings, his luggage having returned a positive swab for something akin to exprosives?  SNAGS wouldn’t repeat the highly humorous but short retort for us instead proceeding to produce some travel goodies from his Jet Lag Bag.

Two lovely pink lollypop fannies all the way from Amsterdam were passed to all day suckers REAR ENTRY and BOOTROOTER (talking under water is easier than asking Do you like that? With your tongue fully extended) It shut them up and we went for tucker in the Bistro.

 

The $15 Winter Warmer menu was popular for those that don’t yet qualify for the $11 Seniors Specials, (pre chewed in case dentures were deficient).

 

Next Week’s Run: BAD HAIR DAY at The Old Colonists Club in Lydiard Street Theme; ?? ROWDY will know

RUN 1674 Venue: Golf House Hotel Hare: Fluid Movement 4 August 2014

The Golf theme continued on from last week’s Hare whom was playing a round but this week there was a hole in one hare, Fluid Movement.   The Ballarat brave HHH had a tight cluster, a combination of ages returning to witness the nipple tensing night, meeting in the chill after the snow had melted only a couple of days prior.

 

The trail wasn’t going to wash away in a hurry having apparently been sponsored by Haymes to use up last year’s excess stock of spray cans. Well marked! In and around the old woollen mills up into Ballarat North, territory of the former Midlands Course site, cross to pay tribute to our beloved Ah So in the cemetery. “That’s not where I marked trail, slaving all day over hot aerosol cans and fighting off vapour highs.”  Said the hare to the head as she refused to be drawn far from her trail.  Walkers and all got to the Drink Stop in the back of the green hatch to be quenched with beverage and sated with beer nuts.

 

Welcomes Backs were in order for a few Fosters, young Hymen and Silly’s boy, the Wylie Fox.

No runs of significance? Fluid Movement was eagerly anticipating Heavy’s screwing and got a song to the ego boosting tune of “Pretty Woman”.  She liked that, but not so much the lyrics that flowed like the various bodily fluids and thrusting movements that were referenced.

 

Charging ahead Seargeant Spence invited Elder Statesman Mastabait to explain to the Hare the relevance and reverence of paying respects to Ah So Dobbo when in proximity to his resting place. Unfortunately the demon dog in the pink box that Silic likes so much had his attention and he had no idea what was being asked of him.

 

It was said that Shallow Hal and Rooter of Boots were so enjoying their Tour de Asean getting on well with a young lady known as Wy Ping Kok.

 

Billy Goat, passed the Bobby’s Batton back to Shafted after running Hash like a well-oiled machine for 6 weeks. Rowdy likewise hand-balled the Blog responsibilities a little too soon as the ball was dropped until this belated effort, dredging a jet lagged memory bank.

The Menu type was too small and the light too dim for some so early ONON home with a heavy heart but an empty belly while those staying for tucker enjoyed ales and a nice house red.

Next Week’s Run: Beer Phuk (Cerveza las Relaciones Sexuales?) at The BlueBell Hotel in Howitt Street,

Proposing a Spanish Theme and Westoning the Westies

Run 1673, Hare: Rowdy, Venue: Midlands Golf Club

Walkers followed the runner's trail, and runners followed the runner's trail, both wound through the footpath-free suburbia of Invermay Park, and with a few short cuts and discrete directions all managed to arrive at the drink stop together apart from the 3 amigos, who stayed by the bar all night without venturing out. Why Spartacus should associate himself with those other two wall flowers only Puss Bucket could answer, but two wrongs don't make a right, and Puss Bucket is not here to answer.
Fascinator screwed the run in a fashion, but didn't know the tune to the song, so Rowdy had to sing tunefully about himself with some made up anecdotes from the distant past, and a passing reference to Bill Clinton; to the stirring tune of "Me and Bobby McGee". Heavy outstanding once again, but please come back soon!
A huge welcome back to Masturbait, after 10 weeks of travelling, and a fark off to Sillic. Criss Cross, Donuts and Puss Bucket were mentioned in absentia, and Fascinator was charged just to rekindle the energy of last week. Precious was told to get a head job, good or bad, while Normal and Rear Entry were given a fishy charge for being c*nts. Well deserved.
Sillic was cited for not being invited to any parties. He wondered what the fuss was about.
BP was charged with not paying attention, and her defence was she was channelling half a bar. She was rewarded with half a down down, and proceeded to leave the room to finish her text. Only 11 to go until 1000.
A nice meal, with an artistic table configuration in front of the log fire finished off the night to satisfaction.

Sympathies to Dumb and Dumber, with Nummy,who lost his mother Nellie during the week, aged in her nineties. All our thoughts and good wishes are with you and your family.

Next week's run continues the theme, at the Golf House Hotel; Fluid Movement the Hare.

Run 1672 Hare: Fascinator, Venue: Top Eureka

Second Run Syndrome; Think you are invincible, get just a little ahead of yourself, and stuff it up.

But who ever said a Real Estate Agent was ever lacking in confidence and chutzpa?
Fascinator had the whole world at his feet, at the favoured Hash venue, on a calm, clear, but cold night, with the run seemingly well set with lots of different coloured chalk. All going well up to a check; (idea) let's have an on back after the check: Gee, that worked well , let's have 3 more on back's at the same check! Let's lose half the pack: that worked well! Let's start setting the trail in a succession of colours impossible for some to see over a distance impossible to run..........
A few made the drink stop. All gathered at the rotunda in Sturt St for the down downs, made more palatable by the need to cuddle the one closest to you to keep warm.
Fluid Movement manned the drinks beautifully, although Spencer Hocking charged the hare as to the wisdom of needing four bags of ice at a drink stop to cater for four runners, when the perceived temperature was -4C. Donuts  bagged a welcome back after one week, after missing out recently on being away for four.
Fascinator was screwed by the fill in, with much referencing to his dodgy profession, and a Heavy inspired punch line channelling Bill Haley to the tune of "See you later Fascinator". With some do-wops thrown in by the backing vocals, the rotunda was almost turned into a 1950's dance floor.
Charges worked well, starring Fascinator repeatedly, and ending in Fascinator repeating.
Pluck a Duck was presented with appropriate headwear, reminiscent of the departed chicken hash, but no second coming on the horizon just yet (although jeSOS did drive past the pack tooting his horn before the pack dispersed.....).
There was a succession of birthday charges, to BP for having a birthday, to Pebbles, for keeping the receipts, to Spence, for letting the lass walk to school, to Donuts for blowing on the birthday candles, and to Sillic for being a tight ass prick. Apparently Pebbles, who has a huge dick, is troubled by having a short tongue. Go figure.
A wonderful meal at the Top Eureka was highlighted by SS sharing a bottle of wine from 1998, and Rear Entry demonstrating what a shellfish prick would look like.

Oh, and Spartacus was not wearing shorts.

Next week's run is NOT by Hymen. Rowdy will take over, from the Midlands Golf Club in Heinz Lane, with meal to follow. See you then.

Run 1671 Hare: Spencer Hocking, Eureka Stockade Hotel, 14/07/14

Spencer Hocking has distinguished himself to be the only man to come between Ian Thorpe and George Pell (or Lake Esmond and St Alipius school). Dirty boy. The run from the Eureka Stockade Hotel was a back to basics affair, very well, and cunningly set on the right (and if it wasn't right it was wrong), which ended at a well stocked drink stop not very far from home. The stand in GM was the only one to follow trail past the Hash Ballroom - aka Jennings shed - but the run setting effort with appropriate landmarks was appreciated. The Silly Billy Goat is slowly settling into command, and will be well and truly ensconced by the time our flighty GM returns.
But absences persist, and the Heavy Screw had to be replaced by a Rowdy Root, who stumbled through with appreciative thanks to an email from Paraburdoo, with lyrics to a song about Spence the perve, Diddle diddle diddle Dum, which ended up with Fiddle diddle with the Bum, and somehow summed up the night.
Welcomes back to the trumpfarter from the Orient, and to Road Runner who has an affinity with a French connection and Bastille Day. Normal was charged for being hopeless, and Rear Entry was charged for being hopelessly pathetic; failed both hearing and IQ tests. BHD, Road Runner and Boot Rooter all had most of their runs whilst travelling, and so walked tonight.
Two amazing things happened. Bent Nose was chastened into admitting he was wrong; and KWAK was christened by the merkin from down under. KWAK readily adopted the position, as if she has been there before, and arose as Pluck a Duck.
Poor Rowdy was picked on mercilessly for something to do with football, by those who support Essendon and those who don't.
Sadly Num and Dumb leave us for the next 5 weeks. Next week's run will be set by Fascinator from the Top Eureka, with the promise of Hymen to follow.

Run 1670 Hare: Num Num Nummy, Cuthbert's Rd

A week of Welcomes' Back and Fark's Off;  Welcome Back to the Family Estate in Cuthbert's Rd, to the Tommy half a bar and his farken filthy tongue, and to Spencer Hocking settling into his role as Sergeant at Arms.
Fark Off to HAL the Una Farker, and Tommy the Ewefarker, and Fark You to Rear Entry and Sillic.

Welcome drinks also to the following, although it was like squeezing blood from a stone; Mr Floppy Tits, Her Vagesty, Jack, Warwick and Flo Jo, and Fascinator. Pebbles also.

The run was deftly set ON THE RIGHT the whole way, with the weather cold but kind, and a good pack of runners kept together by the hare. The walkers managed to find the drink stop concurrently with the runners, and made their way back to the family Estate in Cuthbert's Rd for the down downs and a wonderful meal with mashed potatoes to go with the steaks and veggies.
Heavy screwed manfully, both Dumb and Num: noting the potential danger in the run, with the safety of the 3 critical care ambulances ready to go next door, and the RDNS Director of Nursing present at the drink stop. He serenaded us with a version of Willie Nelson's "On Cuthbert's Road Again".
Charges revolved around the Cuthbert's/Crockers/Warwick Road similarities with runner's names, and more fark off charges to Mountie, and the Una Farker, and Tommy farken half a bar. Despite intense competition, Fascinator won the Philip Nitschke prize for the charge that died the most premature death.
Well Done!
By the way, Heavy will quietly fark off unannounced until November. All the best, big man in Paraburdoo.

Next week's run is from the Eureka Stockade Hotel, set by Spencer Hocking. Fascinator is doing something the week after.