Welcome to Run #2247 The Black Tie and Awards Night from Royal Oak Hotel
This week's blog might look a bit different, as the circle was almost done by the time I got there... I really needed a bathroom break after the amazing run, and the pretty pink gloves were difficult to manage!!!
Pink Bits Version:
The circle started with the GM, Teflon welcoming back a collection of people who had come out of the woodwork just for the big party night as well as the Virgin who was made to cum by all of us by the end of the night.
Num Num then screwed and screwed hard. She gave the run 10/10 as how could Teflon set a run without the properties of Teflon!? No one got hot, wet, cold or friction burnt. The chemicals stayed placid, and no attacks were attempted! SHITTY TRAIL <3
Bent Nose pointed out Pauline's talent for making the most androgynous image for the Award posters while using Lois Lane as a model and being very proactive and providing them at such short notice. Luckily, he recycled them from last year!
Lots and lots of charges went to Bad Hair Day, as his mural was plastered all over the building.
We then moved towards the main event! The Awards!!! Yay!!!
Thankfully, Teflon had this whole script typed out, here is Teflon's Version:
Pot calling the kettle black award – current holder Mountie
Nominations
Dumb & Dumber – On the 17/06/2024 run from Mt Xavier Golf Club, D & D charged Boner for losing or misplacing his bag. However, as Keeper of the Book, the book had already gone missing a number of times including the first night he was in charge of the book. Even though it had been chained to tables/chairs etc. Of course, I’m ignoring the fact that the book had lots of help in its disappearances.
Mountie – Unsure of date. Mountie was heard to say to Wee Problem something like; “You’re over 30 now. Why haven’t you had a baby yet?”
Rowdy – On 22/07/2025 on Cinderella’s run Rowdy was out the front leading the pack, running without a torch in the dark, and complaining about not seeing trail. Albeit there is an argument to say there really was a lack of trail. Never-the-less!!!
Rear Entry – On 25/11/2024 on Head Hunters run, Rear Entry was heard to refer to Road Runner as “Ïdiot Boy”. What can I say?
THE WINNER IS
On 20/01/2025 at Michael Unwin’s Wines this person pointed out a discrepancy in Normal’s run number but that very same night she made a mistake on her own run count. Your winner is Mrs Dickhead.
Dummy Spit Award – current holder Boner (Renob)
I haven’t seen a real good Dummy Spit this year. Nothing like the quality of Boner’s dummy spit last year.
Nominations
Immaculate Conception – On 3/02/2025 at the annual cricket match, IC was seen to throw his bat after his batting partner Jack got out.
THE WINNER IS
On 22/04/2024 at Pigs Arse’ Anzac Day run, this person was seen to throw his notepad and pen to the floor. Can’t even remember why but it sure looked like a dummy spit to me. The winner is Bent Nose. This trophy is currently missing so a down down is all you get.
Spectacle Award – current holder Immaculate Conception
There are some similarities it seems to me to the Pisspot of the Year award as alcohol often plays a signification role in winning the Spectacle Award.
Nominations
Nair - for throwing up in a chip bag on the way home on the bus on the Mystery Bus Trip. Better than the on the floor of the bus I guess.
THE WINNER IS
Not sure if it fits the Award category but we’ll make it fit cause this person needs some sort of recognition this year for her role as a COVID super spreader at the Grapes Hotel on 9/12/2024. Multiple hashers, including the GM, went down with it. Carpet Burns wins the Spectacle Award.
Shithouse Run of the Year Award – current holder SS
No runs were considered completely shithouse but these nominations somewhat met the criteria.
Nominations
Pigs Arse – Early in the year, on 22/04/2024 set a run from the Squash & Racquetball Centre. The run was short and lacked some imagination.
Precious – Also early in the year, on 29/04/2024 Precious set a run from the Park Hotel. Trail was hard to find and Precious had to lead the pack around. Not dissimilar to most weeks really but this week he was the Hare.
Squizzy – I was not in attendance for this one, but Squizzy’s run on 27/05/2024 sounded shithouse by all reports as the pack quickly lost trail.
Spartacus – On 15/07/2024 hash was from Irish Murphys. The run was OK-ish but Irish Murphys didn’t even know we were coming along so that deserves a nomination.
Cinderella – On 22/07/2024 hash was from the Cattle Yards Hotel. Not much trail, so the Hare was leading the pack for much of the run. Lack of ice at the drink stop. And very scary looking darts players back at the hotel.
THE WINNER IS
On 13/01/2025 a run was set right in the middle of town in perfect bush hashing weather, which is bad enough, but also trail was lost and found – sometimes – on 3 different occasions throughout the run. The pack went in all directions trying to find trail. The Shithouse Run of the Year award goes to Normal and Masta Bait.
Pisspot of the Year Award – current holder Pus Bucket
So while many of us have been pissed at hash over the last 12 months, it takes a special effort to carry away this award.
Nominations
Rear Entry – was to set a run on 19/08/2024 but fell over pissed in the days leading up to the run and broke his arm. So Pus Bucket ended up setting the run for him.
THE WINNER IS
This hasher stood out for me. On 28/10/2024 the Mystery Bus Trip found its way out to Linton. It had a Halloween theme and was a particularly fun night. This person especially enjoyed herself and I clearly remember at the end of the night after everyone else had boarded the bus, this person was still leaning on the bar sipping away on a glass of bubbles.
So for being a particularly happy little Pisspot in the true spirit of hashing, Num Num gets this Award.
Tight Arse of the Year Award – current holder Normal
Hard to pick a winner of this Award as we have had so many runs from pubs this year limiting the times that nosh has been served up at home or in the bush.
In fact, there are only 13 runs I’ve classified as a bush run, which includes the Mitti weekend and a couple of runs on the edge of town. We’ve had 31 runs from pubs or clubs and 9 runs from homes in town noting these exclude a few homes that were counted as bush runs.
THE WINNER IS
So the winner is the hare for the hash run from Ballarat Bowling Club on 19 August 2024 for snags and tomatoes and lots of lettuce at a pretty high price; and especially so for the vegetarians amongst us. The winner is Rear Entry.
FIGJAM Award – current holder Bent Nose
Nominations
The FIGJAM Award appeared last year for the first time in a few years. It seems part of the award is missing but most of it is here.
Well, it would have been very easy to hand this award straight back to Bentnose who consistently demonstrates FIGJAM qualities. But he’s missed out on the award this year.
Just last Monday I witnessed three FIGJAM moments as late bids for this Award came forward. SS talked about his green Irish cap he swapped his hat while competing at the World Masters Rowing Championships some twenty odd years ago.
GILF was heard explaining her win as Reserve Champion on her horse just the weekend before.
Spencer self-charged himself for having an original Dublin Hash t-shirt at the St Patricks Day run.
BUT THE WINNER IS
On 3 March 2025 on Pauline and Lois’ run out in the Creswick bush the Sergeant asked this person about his marathon record to which the reply was something like “I can tell you the date of each run and all the details from each marathon I’ve run”.
So while it may be an impressive record, the FIGJAM award goes to Normal because he fits the award criteria perfectly; someone asked him how good he was and he was happy to tell us if given half a chance.
Shit Hot Run of the Year– current holders Shafted and Cris Cros
We’ve had a few candidates for shit hot runs this year noting that no pub or club runs will ever get a nomination from me. So that rules a lot of hash runs out.
Nominations
Special mention go to the following.
Pauline and Lois – Run from their home in Alfredton on 16/09/2024. An in town run but well done and a superb dinner afterwards.
SOS – while not making it to many hash runs this year, SOS still kept his commitment to set a hash run on 21 October 2024. Set from his home it was an in town run but well set and a great feed and great atmosphere after the run.
Her Vagesty – A run from home on 6/01/2025. An in town run but well set out and a lovely dinner afterwards. A good hash Monday is not solely about the run; it’s the whole package.
Pauline & Lois again– The hash run on 3 March 2025 from Codes Forest Road near Creswick. A run where you were never quite sure where it would head with lots of changes in direction. Afterwards a fantastic meal was offered, well set out, well lit and you could see the effort Pauline and Lois put into it.
THE WINNER IS
Our award winner has not only met all the criteria for a shit hot run but if I look at the bigger picture he is even more worthy of this award.
This hasher sets a couple of runs each year, always in the bush, always interesting and always a fine example of a hashy run.
I’ll keep going but you’ll soon recognise our shit hot winner.
On 1 April 2024 – one week after last year’s awards - we went to St Georges Lake and had a wet and shiggy hash run through the bush. Wet with shiggy doesn’t make a bad run. It makes for a challenging run and for me that’s part of the fun.
On 7 October 2024 this person set his second run for the year from Five Ways. Another excellent run through the bush going this way and that with a dinner outside under the stars.
This makes two shit hot runs I reckon and the award, of course, goes to Rowdy.
Just another thing to add, I want to acknowledge Rowdy’s clever and funny Christmas carols each year. It’s something he’s been doing for 20+ years. It’s not a run that would typically win shit hot run of the year but in my time it’s always hilarious and witty and gathers a huge attendance. It deserves recognition as a fine example of irreverent fun which is hashing at its core.
Ah So Award (Clubperson of the Year)– current holder Nutcracker
I’ll mention this again in 2 weeks time at the AGPU but a huge thank you to the committee members this year. I’ve appreciated your good work and I’ve appreciated your support. This award could have gone to a number of you for your backing and encouraging words. Thank you.
A special mention to Pauline & Lois who I had a good chat to at the start of my GM year. They gave me lots of tips and good ideas on how to manage and coordinate the hash year.
But this hasher has been, in my eyes, a big support to me and is always willing to help out. He’s offered more than once to set either a scheduled committee run or a committee run when a hare has pulled out. And he’s come forward with good ideas to make our hash good fun.
The Ah So Award goes to Precious.
The rest of the night is quite blury but was very fun! A huge shout out to Try Elliot for the amazing tunes and naturally Teflon and GILF for planning a wonderful time for us all <3
Next weeks run was Rowdy's Midnights Run at Slatey Creek
